


If there's nothing left

by Danypooh80



Series: You See Me [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Twins, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, No Shepard Without Vakarian, Romance, Shepard Twins (Mass Effect), Snark, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:27:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 79
Words: 291,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27115379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danypooh80/pseuds/Danypooh80
Summary: Jane and John Shepard are splitting up again while Jane sets off on her posting on the Normandy.  What starts off as a routine mission quickly goes sideways, turning into a plot that needs to be unraveled to save the galaxy. With her handsome turian husband, sneaky Spectre mentor, and her lovable brother by her side, will Jane be able to save the day?Part two of a series!Updates at least once a week!
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Male Shepard/Solana Vakarian, Nihlus Kryik/Ashley Williams
Series: You See Me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979188
Comments: 1527
Kudos: 253





	1. Coming clean

_ _

* * *

Finally comfortable in a tank top and sweats, Jane stared longingly at her husband’s face on the terminal, wishing she could reach out to him and feel the deep rumble in his chest. “How’s it going?” Garrus asked, his eyes bright and focused solely on her. “Is my wife kicking ass and taking names out there?”

Jane laughed, taking the pins out of her hair and letting the long, dark locks fall over her shoulders. “Hardly- if we're being honest, it’s more like learning names and smiling blandly at folks.” She looked around her tiny room, thankful for the privacy. “You’ve ruined me,” she said, smirking at the turian on the other end of the line. “After sleeping in a turian bed so long, going back to sleeping in a regulation bunk sucks ass.” 

“Poor baby,” Garrus replied, his mandibles twitching with amusement. “I guess that just gives you more of an excuse to get back here, doesn’t it?”

“Among other reasons,” Jane teased, tapping her finger to her shoulder absentmindedly. “It’s strange... I feel like I’m under a microscope around here,” she admitted. “It’s a little unnerving.” 

Ever observant, Garrus knew there was something she wasn't telling him. Curious, he cocked his head to the side, his sub-vocals rumbling softly. “What’s going on?” 

Jane paused, looking around her tiny room. “Not here,” she said quietly. “I’ll tell you later.” She trusted Anderson, but she had no reason to trust the turian she’d once thought was her friend- it wouldn’t surprise her in the least if the ship was fitted with a listening device or two. _I have to sweep this thing for bugs_ , Jane thought bitterly. _Never thought I’d have to do that on my own ship, but there’s always a first time for everything_. “I’ll message you later.” 

Smart enough not to question her any further, the turian nodded. “I love you,” he said quietly. “No matter what, I’m proud of you, Jane.” His eyes landed on the small stuffed animal on her bed, and he let out a soft laugh, gently stroking his fringe. “And at least I know you’ve got someone watching over you at night when I’m not there.” 

“Can’t argue with that,” she agreed with a grin picking up the stuffed cat and stroking his fur. “Too bad he doesn’t purr, though.”

“You know, you could have taken that grey hellion with you,” Garrus deadpanned. “Spirits _above_ , I will be glad when that thing goes home with my sister.” Jane unsuccessfully tried to stop herself from snorting, which only resulted in an eye-roll from Garrus. “It’s not funny,” he groused. “It goes everywhere she goes, and it has an odd fascination with climbing inside my cowl- I’m living in fear inside my own home, Jane.”

“Awww, is the big, strong turian is afraid of the cute little kitten?” she said teasingly, earning herself a dismissive chuff from Garrus. She was about to say something else, but there was a soft knock on her door. “Looks like duty calls,” Jane said wearily, setting the toy down on the bed. “I’ll message you later?”

“You better,” he replied, a low rumble echoing over the line and bringing a smile to her face. Even when they were apart, his sub-vocals made her feel warm and safe. “Love you.” 

“Love you too,” Jane replied, disconnecting the call and walking to the door. As she walked to the door, Jane steeled her expression- she didn't want to give anyone a reason to be concerned about her well-being. _Time to put the Commander face back on_ , she thought as she grabbed her hair and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. _I think I miss just being Jane._

However, she did not expect to see Nihlus standing outside, resting his tall frame against the wall. Unable to stop the frown from spreading across her face, Jane crossed her arms and gave him her most irritated look. “Yes?” Jane said curtly. “Can I help you?” 

“I’d like to talk to you,” he said firmly. To anyone else, his expression might have appeared neutral, but Jane knew better- Nihlus was slightly agitated. “Would it be all right if I came in?”

“Do I have a choice?” Jane asked petulantly, looking the turian up and down with disdain. “If I refuse, will it go into my file? Is the big bad Spectre going to tell on me for being nasty?”

Nihlus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “You’re being childish, Jane.” When Jane just scoffed, the turian gestured toward the room. “Must we have this fight in the hallway?” 

Still standing in the doorway, Jane just rolled her eyes. “Seems to me we wouldn’t be having this fight at all if someone didn’t decide to be a sneaky ass bastard- funny how that works.” 

The Spectre gave an exasperated flick of his mandibles. “You _do_ realize I could just move you aside right now if I wanted to, don’t you?”

“And I’d have you on your back the second you tried it,” Jane retorted, glaring up at him. “Followed by a bullet right between your brow-plates.” 

Almost instinctively, he let out a slightly proud trill, crossing his arms and twitching his mandibles. “And who taught you how to do that, Shepard?” 

"Whatever." Letting out an irritated sigh, Jane stepped aside, allowing the turian to enter her room. “Is my room bugged? Do I have to worry about this conversation counting against my _evaluation?_ ”

“Would you believe me if I told you no?” He sat down on the chair, then gestured for her to sit down. “You don’t seem to be all that rational at the moment, Jane.” 

“I’m allowed,” Jane shot back as she sat on the bed. “Considering someone’s been lying to me for the last few months.”

He sighed, folding his hands in front of him. “When we first met, what’s one of the first things I told you?” 

Unwilling to push aside her anger, Jane narrowed her eyes. “How to cook a Kantog steak.”

“Stop being petulant,” Nihlus snapped, his voice causing her to involuntarily straighten up. “I told you… turians don’t lie, Jane. We may omit or obfuscate the truth, but we don’t outright _lie_ \- the only reason you didn’t know what I did was that you never decided to ask me.” His mandibles flicked in irritation. “Don’t blame _me_ for your failures, Jane- learn from them.” 

“I thought we were friends,” Jane said quietly, finally allowing the realization that Nihlus might not be lying to wash over her. “Was that an obfuscation as well?” 

“At first it was,” Nihlus admitted. “You intrigued me at the bar that night- I’d been trying to find you for quite some time, but the records always seemed to indicate that you were never around. Imagine my surprise to find the great Commander Shepard in the same bar as me with a turian mate,” the Spectre said with a smile. “What I thought was simply an evening to drown my frustrations ended up being quite serendipitous indeed.”

Jane looked at him curiously for a moment, something nagging at the back of her mind. “That was _you_ that put the tracers on my file, wasn’t it?” She frowned, tapping her nose while she ran through the information. “It was weird… the file had obviously been messed with- anyone with half a brain could see it. But it was strange- it was like someone with clearance to view just scrubbed it to make it look unmodded- took me forever to remove that fucker.” 

“On the contrary- not too many people would notice that,” Nihlus said proudly. “Spectres have some of the highest clearance around, Jane- I find myself awed and a slight bit terrified that you were able to tell that much from a file. I find I'm rather looking forward to mentoring you, Jane.”

“Yeah, well… thanks,” Jane said gruffly, vacillating between being proud and pissed off. “So,” she said carefully, “if you’re here to evaluate me, then that means whatever we’re doing isn’t just a simple shakedown run- you wouldn’t get involved for something so trivial.” 

Nihlus nodded. “We’re heading to Eden Prime to make a covert pickup. There’s something down there the council needs to retrieve and send back to the Citadel for study.” 

Jane folded her arms, her irritation rising as she shifted on the bed. “I’m not a deliverywoman.”

“No one said you were,” Nihlus agreed. “This… is much more important than a simple package pickup, Jane.” When she just stared at him, he sighed. “If you must know, it is a Prothean beacon.”

Jane’s eyes went wide. “You’re shitting me- that’s the shit we found on Mars that allowed us to use the mass relays, right? Holy fuck, that's huge!” 

“Crudely put, but yes,” he replied. “So, you see-”

Just then, Anderson’s voice cut into her room, effectively interrupting their conversation. “Shepard! I need you in the CIC, on the double!” 

“Looks like this is going to need to be a discussion for another time,” Jane said as she threw on her sweatshirt. “Raincheck, Kryik?” 

“Of course,” Nihlus replied as they headed out of the room. “I’ll be more than happy to discuss the terms of this mentorship with you over dinner.”

_ _

* * *

“So,” John said as Vakarian sitting across from him, clutching something in his hands, “how’s our girl doing?” 

The turian sighed, closing his eyes. “She seems fine,” he replied listlessly. “Someone came looking for her, so she said she’d message me later.”

“If it’s any consolation,” John said as the kitten wound itself around his feet, “Joker’s on board with her- he’ll keep us updated on what’s going on.” 

“You know that she’s going to kick your asses for keeping tabs on her,” Solana called out from the couch. “Jane’s a big girl- she’ll be fine.” 

“I know that,” John said irritably, picking up the ball of fluff and stroking it absentmindedly. “And since you’ve decided to rudely insert yourself into this conversation, how about you tell me when are you and your furry child planning to leave my house, Tiny?” 

“I was given orders to keep an eye on you,” Sol said cheekily, poking her head up from the couch. “Unlike my brother, _I’m_ a pretty good turian- I actually listen.” 

“Now there’s a joke if I’ve ever heard one,” Vakarian muttered, glancing over at his sister. “Who said that Shepard wanted an annoying houseguest, Sol?”

Sol stuck her long tongue out at her brother. “Ha-ha, Gar- unlike _you_ , John is actually nice.” She yawned, then got up from the couch, strolling over to the table and plopping in the chair across from them, then draping her arm over John’s shoulder. “He doesn’t mind if I stay… right, John?”

John looked at Solana and raised his eyebrows at her. “You _really_ don’t want to go home and deal with your dad, do you?” 

A sheepish grin spread across her face and the younger turian fluttered her mandibles at him. “Is it that obvious?”

Vakarian sighed and shook his head at his sister. “No one told you to get this furry demon, Sol.” 

“It’s not _that_ ,” she huffed, taking the cat and cuddling it gently. “Dad was a mess before I even thought about getting JC- he’s been a…” she turned to John and tapped her finger on the table while the kitten batted at her mandibles. “What’s that word you used again, John?” 

“A dick,” he finished helpfully, heading to the kitchen to get a beer. “Your dad is a grade-A dick, Sol.” 

Sol brightened for a moment, then chirped excitedly. “ _Yes_ \- that’s the word!” Vakarian chuckled, then she sighed. “He’s been insufferable since he found out about you and Jane- now he’s trying to set me up with anything with mandibles.” She shuddered, then rested her head against the ball of fur, which started to purr incessantly. “Honestly? I need a break, guys- I know he means well, but I’m going out of my mind.” 

Her brother ran his hand over his fringe, then let out a rumble. “Does mom know all this?”

Sol gave him a look that said clearly said she thought Vakarian was stupid. “Who do you think asked John if I could come? She’s trying to talk some sense into him as we speak.” 

Vakarian looked at John and gave a weary-sounding rumble. “Should I be worried that you seem to be talking to my family more than I do these days?” 

“There’s a simple solution to that,” John replied, taking a sip of his beer and chuckling as the kitten found its way into his partner’s cowl and started to purr. “It’s called _‘call your mother sometimes’_ , you big dork.” 

“I _do_ call her,” he protested, earning him a snort from Sol. “It’s just… I get busy, that’s all.” 

“Tell that story to someone else- I see you at work, Vakarian,” John said dryly. “I can say with absolute certainty that you aren’t too busy.”

Vakarian sighed and gingerly tried to remove the kitten from his cowl, but it simply moved out of his reach. “I suppose.” He chuckled, then got up to get a drink from the fridge, choosing to ignore his furry passenger. “Spirits, is this my life now?”

“Yep,” John replied, laughing. “Like it or not, you’re stuck with me now, Vakarian- so, you regret marrying my sister yet?” 

“Never,” the turian replied, fingering the necklace sticking out from the collar of the undersuit. “Not even having to deal with you for the rest of my life could make me regret a minute of my life with Jane.” 

“I swear, he gets married and all of a sudden he turns the lead in some cheesy romance vid,” John said teasingly, making Sol giggle. “At least I got you out of the deal, Tiny.”

Sol rolled her eyes. “You know, I’m taller than you are, John- why do you insist on calling me Tiny?”

“Because you’re younger and otherwise my ego can’t handle being the shortest person in this crew,” John replied affably. “So if you want my affection, you get a nickname. Besides, it’s a little sister requirement- just ask Janey.”

“How has Jane managed not to murder you?” Sol asked as his partner let out an amused-sounding rumble. “Every time you open your mouth, I can’t decide if I want to hug or strangle you, John.”

“Then that means that I’m doing it right,” he replied with a grin. “Maybe if you-”

He didn’t get the chance to finish his thought- before he could say another word, the chimes letting him know that a call was coming in. “This can’t be good,” John said flatly as he answered the call and found himself staring at the stern-looking face of David Anderson on his screen. “Uncle David,” he said carefully, “what’s going on?”

The older man sighed. “Hello John,” he said evenly, glancing over at Vakarian. “Garrus,” he acknowledged, running his hand over his head. “I see you’re all together.”

John felt his blood turning to ice and his heart began to gallop in his chest- instantly, he was transported back to the day they called him and told him Janey’s team was hit, and he started to sway in his seat, staring at the screen with a dumbfounded look on his face. “She’s barely been gone a day,” he choked out. “What the fuck is going on out there?” 

“Look, I can’t tell you a lot, but I promised I wouldn’t leave you in the dark,” Anderson replied, his voice low. “Your sister was is heading out on a mission, but I have to warn you... we have a situation out there.”

John’s face hardened and he heard the two turians sitting next to him go completely still. “What is it?” 

“It’s not the mission,” Anderson said slowly as he glanced around the room, no doubt checking to see if anyone else was around. “It’s _who_ we got the distress call from, John.” 

John felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he closely watched the face of the man on the screen. “And who was it?” 

“Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams,” Anderson said stoically, his expression softening as all the blood left John’s face and he sank back into the chair. “She’s under attack.” 

“Is she ok?” John asked, barely noticing Sol wrapping her arm around him as he rested his head on the table, working to control his breathing. “Is she alive?”

Anderson was quiet for a moment, then let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But you know that if anyone is going to bring Ash home, it’s Janey.” 

“I…” John was so awash with emotions that he couldn’t move- every breath felt like he was breathing through water, and he couldn’t seem to make his mouth form words. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he glanced back up at the screen and nodded. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely as Sol rubbed his back. “Keep me posted, Uncle David.”

“I will,” the man replied. “I won’t shut you out again, kid… I promise.” The captain turned to Vakarian and gave the turian a nod. “And I’ll keep you updated on Janey,” he said firmly. “Though I don’t think you have much to worry about, son- your wife is a tough cookie, Vakarian.” 

His partner looked up, his mandibles fluttering with surprise. “My wife?”

“You heard me,” he replied, turning back to John. “I have to go, John.” 

John nodded as the call disconnected, his body shaking. “I gotta get some air,” he said quickly, trying to stand up from the chair. “I… I gotta do something… I can’t sit here.” 

“Who’s Ash?” Sol asked quietly, gently holding him into the seat. “What’s going on, John?”

He sighed, running his hands through his hair, trying to force his thoughts to settle. “Ash is my ex,” John said shakily, knowing that the words coming out of his mouth didn’t exactly warrant this big of a reaction. “It’s complicated, Sol.” 

Vakarian looked at him, the expression on his face full of concern. “A Captain doesn’t call you about an ex… and you _definitely_ don’t break down like that over one, Shepard… how about you tell us what’s going on here?” 

John sighed, looking around the apartment and feeling like the walls were closing in. “Ex- _fiance_ ,” he said quietly. “I broke it off when I left the Alliance. It… it wasn’t a good exit- Anderson knew that.” He looked down for a moment and took a deep breath, still not trusting himself to keep his composure. “I tried to put the whole thing out my head, but...” He exhaled, shaking his hands. “Damn… I didn’t expect that kind of news to hit me that hard. Guess I need to get some more sleep- I'm a little on edge, huh?”

His new family wasn’t fooled in the slightest- Vakarian just stared at him, but Sol rested her hand on his leg, staring at him with kind blue eyes. “You still love her, don’t you?” 

John just let out a shaky laugh, running his hands through his hair and staring down at the table. “Yeah, Tiny… looks like I do.” 


	2. It comes back to bite you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane finds Ashley; Nihlus goes off to find the beacon

_ _

* * *

_This cannot be happening,_ Jane thought as she stared at the angry-looking woman she and Alenko had just rescued. _I have to be living in some alternate universe hell right now because there is no way my luck is this bad._

At first, she thought she was doing pretty well- Nihlus had threatened to take off on his own, but Jane had forced him to take Private Jenkins with him. _He knows the terrain_ , she told the Spectre, breathing a sigh of relief as the turian begrudgingly took the human along. _Hey, you wanted me to show you leadership,_ she thought to herself as she watched Nih race off into the distance, practically dragging the poor man behind him. _No one said you had to like it._

However, the departure of the Spectre and the private left her and the lieutenant to work together against an army of Geth troopers firing at them from all angles. Kaidan Alenko was a biotic- despite his taciturn nature, Jane couldn't deny his usefulness as he let loose a barrage of the power that she’d always been slightly envious of her brother for having. _He’s not as good as Johnny,_ Jane thought as she watched him take out a swath of approaching enemies, _but I can’t deny the man has some pretty impressive skills- too bad he’s got the personality of wet wood._

Trying to channel even a modicum of her brother’s charisma, Jane had taken a deep breath and turned to the lieutenant, hoping to break the eerie stillness that had settled across the planet like a blanket. “You’re pretty good,” she remarked as they made their way across the landscape. “This combination of me sniping and you frying seems to work pretty well, don’t you think?”

The dark-haired man only nodded politely, causing Jane to grit her teeth as they continued on their path. _I swear to god, this fucker is like cardboard,_ she thought to herself as she took a deep breath and bit back a groan. _I’d have better luck talking to a life-size cutout of a soldier- at least then I wouldn’t be offended when it didn’t talk back._ “I wish I had your skills,” she said politely, trying again to draw the man into a conversation- the quiet was making her jumpier than the firefight. “You and my brother would make one hell of a team.” 

Finally, Alenko chose to grace her with his powers of speech. “Your brother is a biotic?” 

Jane nodded. “Yep. We found out when he almost took out a city block because someone tried to grab my boob- shit got real after that.” She let out a soft laugh at the memory. “Looking back, it was one of the best things to happen to us.” 

Alenko stiffened up, no doubt uncomfortable at the mere mention of Jane having breasts. “He’s former Alliance, right?”

“Yep. Got out a few years back, but yeah, he was pretty fucking powerful back in the day.” Jane smiled at Alenko, grateful that he knew how to compose a sentence that didn’t include the word ‘Commander’. “Glad to see I got someone competent at my back, at least.” 

“Happy to do it, Commander,” Alenko said with a polite smile that caused Jane to let out a silent scream inside her head. _I give the fuck up,_ she moaned to herself, fighting the urge to punt Alenko off a cliff. _This man is hopeless._

Now, staring at the face of the woman she’d never expected to see again, Jane gained a newfound appreciation for working with Cardboard Man. “Williams,” she said stiffly, extending her hand to the soldier getting up from the ground, “you all right?” 

“ _Commander_ ,” she said icily, staring at Jane with a burning hatred- it seemed that their years apart hadn’t done much to temper her irritation. “Thanks for the save,” she ground out, the words coming out choked and strained- the marine looked like she was talking around shards of glass. “It was an ambush out here.” 

Jane looked around at the swarms of bodies littering the ground and fought back a shudder. “Any of your squad left?” 

Ashley shook her head. “No… I’m the only one.” She turned to Alenko, then extended her hand. “Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212,” she said with a more polite tone. “I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t shown up when you did.” 

“Staff Lieutenant Alenko,” the cardboard man replied, his tone much less formal with Ashley. “Glad we could help.” 

_Oh, so he’s just a robot with me… good to know._ “We got your distress call,” Jane replied, surveying the landscape and trying to process the carnage she was seeing- humans were hanging from spikes jutting out from the ground, and the air smelled thick with electricity and burning flesh. “Are you ok?” 

Ashley pressed her lips into a flat line. “Nothing but a few scrapes and bruises… considering I’ve been fighting for my life ever since I sent that call out, I’d say I’m pretty lucky.”

Finally, Alenko decided it was time to be a real person again and speak- squinting, he bent over to examine one of the sparking bodies on the ground, then frowned up at the two women. “The Geth haven’t been seen outside of the veil in over two hundred years- why now?” 

“The beacon,” Jane muttered, gritting her teeth. “They must be looking for it… which means that Nih and Jenkins are walking into a trap.” She turned to Ashley, working to keep her tone even- this topic of conversation had the potential to be a landmine. “Have you seen a turian nearby? Possibly dragging an impossibly cheerful Alliance private behind him?” 

Ashley narrowed her eyes, then hoisted her rifle over her shoulder. “If I had, he’d be on the ground already.” 

Unable to stop herself, Jane brought her hand to her temple, desperate to stop the throbbing in her head. _Calm down,_ she thought to herself, taking a deep breath and counting to ten as she tried to reach Nihlus on comms- she fought back a growl when she got no response. _You’re a professional… you can handle bitchy barbie for a little while._ “Good thing you didn’t,” Jane replied with forced cheerfulness. “He’s a Spectre and he’s on our side- I don’t know about you, but I like having the help.” 

“Hrmph,” was the only reply. 

Alenko just looked back and forth between the two women, probably trying to calculate just how long he had before they came to blows in front of him. “Do you know how far we are from the beacon?”

“Yeah.” Ashley nodded, then pointed into the distance. “It’s just over that rise- might still be there.” 

“Then let’s move out,” Jane said firmly, then looked over at Ashley. She had no desire to stay with the woman any longer than she had to, but she couldn’t afford to be stupid. Ashley might be one of the banes of her existence, but she was a good shot and John would probably have her head if she knowingly let the bitch get murdered- for now, her pride would have to take a backseat. “Williams,” she said, forcing her Commander expression back on her face. “We could use you with us.” 

Ashley looked at her for a moment, no doubt trying to determine if Jane was serious, then extended her hand. “Happy to help, Commander- it’s time for some goddamn payback.” 

Jane tightly gripped Ashley’s hand. “Glad to have you aboard, Williams.” Making sure to hold the woman’s hand a little tighter and longer than necessary, she stared Ashley in the eyes. “We’re not going to have a problem, are we?” 

“No ma’am,” Ashley replied, her mouth set in a firm line as she locked eyes with Jane. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

_ _

* * *

John rested his head against the refrigerator, trying to get his thoughts together. _I feel like my brain is spinning right now_. “If Ash is alive, please don’t let Janey kill her,” he muttered, holding the bottle of water loosely in his hand. “And if there is a god above, _please_ let Ash keep her mouth shut.” 

He hadn’t heard the turian approach, but he suddenly heard Sol’s sub-vocals rolling over him. “John,” she said quietly, reaching out to tap him on the shoulder. “Come sit down, ok?”

“I’m fine, Tiny,” he replied, heading over to the couch. “I’m just wondering about the levels of interplanetary bloodshed that leaving those two women together might cause, that’s all.” 

Vakarian chuffed, then sat down across from him. “This wouldn’t happen to be the woman Jane calls ‘bitchy barbie’, would it?”

John laughed, running his hands over his hair. “Got it in one.” He looked down at his hands for a moment, then shook his head. “The two of them being forced to work together is like one big cosmic fucking joke.” Then he laughed mirthlessly, squeezing the bottle in his hands. “ Well, if Ash is still around, that is.”

Vakarian let out a chuckle, running his hands over his fringe. “I’m almost scared to see what’s got the great John Shepard so nervous- it can’t be that bad, can it?”

“Oh, it can,” John replied, glancing over at his partner. Sol and JC had moved next to him on the couch, their twin purrs lulling him into a state of calm. “Ash and Janey... well, let's just say those two have never gotten along all that well.” 

“But why?” Sol asked curiously, shifting to look at him. “She puts up with my brother just fine- if she can deal with that, I’m sure she can deal with a little human woman... right?” 

Laughing, John reached over and hugged Sol, earning an even louder purr from the turian. “I knew I liked you for a reason, Tiny.” As he settled back on the couch, John closed his eyes. “Normally, I’d say you’re right, but Ash once made the mistake of saying that Janey only got promoted because she was my sister.” At that, Vakarian let out a low whistle- John just smiled and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds about right- if Janey had been a biotic, I think the whole room would’ve exploded right then.” 

Sol’s eyes darted nervously between the two men as she stroked the kitten with her finger. “What happened?” 

“Well,” John said slowly, wincing at the memory, “after Jane turned about five different shades of purple, she called Ash a stuck up bitch who couldn’t see past her own failures, then proceeded to lunge for her throat- I’m just glad she didn’t have her pistol, otherwise I don’t think we’d be sitting here right now.” He gave a rueful grin, then twisted his fingers in his hands. “As it was… Janey never forgot that incident- every single promotion she got, the news _magically_ seemed to find it’s way to the front of Ash’s omnitool feed and wouldn’t delete… it was the strangest thing.”

“Now _that_ sounds like Janey,” Vakarian said with a laugh. “And you dealt with both of them? _Spirits above_ , how are you still alive, John?”

“Deployment and a lot of separation,” he admitted. “I agreed to keep Ash away from Jane, and Janey agreed to stop tormenting the woman- it was a hard-fought peace, believe you me.” 

His partner just shook his head slowly, staring at John with a dumbfounded look on his face. “And those two are possibly out there together? With guns?” 

“Yep,” John replied, taking a sip of his drink. “I mean, Janey’s a commander of a unit and a married woman now- surely she’s going to be more diplomatic and composed, right?”

Vakarian just looked at him, then got to his feet. “On that note, I’m going to remind my wife that she needs to remember that I can’t see her if she’s locked in a military prison.”

John thought about it for a moment, then realized that the two women might have to ride back on the same ship… _together_. “Yeah,” he replied, smiling nervously at the turian towering over him, “now that you mention it, that’s probably a good idea.” 

_ _

* * *

NIhlus was working hard to ignore the chattering man, wondering if there was a way he could string him to a tree and leave him there for someone else to take home. _Spirits above,_ he thought to himself as the private began nattering on about the local fauna, _now I see why Jane offered to send this one- she's still mad at me._

True, he was useful when it came to navigating the terrain- the man was able to tell him where to avoid the outposts of people and where the hiding spots were, but Nihlus was more than willing to dance in front of the geth fire if it meant he could get rid of the dead weight he’d been saddled with. But, every time he thought about leaving Jenkins behind and telling Jane where she could pick up her annoying little fledgling, their conversation on the ship kept coming back to him. 

_I’m going with you_ , she’d said, getting into her armor and giving him that determined look he’d grown used to seeing on her face. _You need backup._

Nihlus had tried to dismiss her, letting out an irritated huff as he started to walk away. _I work better on my own,_ he’d replied abruptly, working overtime to put the wall back up between them. _This is business_ , he thought. _This isn’t a conversation on the bench after a workout or an advice session over lunch- it’s a job. Time to get your head in the game, Kryik._

He had every intention to leave by himself, but he was stopped by a slender hand on his arm. _I don’t have enough friends to lose_ , she’d whispered, her strange grey eyes pleading with him. _Let me go with you… please- you’re the only friend I got out here, Nih_ , she’d pleaded, her grip just as firm as it was when he’d trained her. _Someone needs to watch your back._

 _You can’t,_ he told her firmly, his sharp tone only betrayed by the soft wavering of his mandibles. No one else would have caught it, but this was Jane, the only person on this shipful of humans that knew exactly what he was saying, even when he wasn’t speaking aloud. _You have your own mission, Jane._

 _You’d better come back,_ she’d told him, her voice thick and raspy. _I can’t lose you, too._

The fact that she still cared gave him pause- his deception had fractured, but not destroyed their friendship, and it was that realization that finally made him relent. _I’ll take the guide,_ he’d told her. _You just do what you have to do so we can get the job done._

Now, stuck with the gibbering idiot to his right, Nihlus wondered if his momentary lapse of sanity was going to be the death of him. “Jenkins,” he hissed, “would you please stop alerting every Geth in the area to our position and shut the hell up!” 

“Sorry,” the kid whispered, his pistol held at the ready. “It’s just… based on the maps, the spaceport should be just over that ridge- I’d assume that’d be the place you’d want to start looking if they were trying to get the beacon off-world. Thankfully, it’s not that much farther.”

 _Thank the spirits,_ Nihlus thought as they made their approach. The young man led him through the twists and turns, working to creep directly underneath the swarms of Geth around them. _He’d be more useful without a tongue,_ Nihlus thought to himself as he approached the port, spotting a turian standing in the distance. _Shit_ , he thought, readying his weapon and turning to the young man next to him. “Stay here”, he hissed, angrily pointing at the ground. “Anything goes wrong, you radio the Normandy, understand?” 

Jenkins nodded and Nihlus ran off, gun at the ready- he was just about to fire when he realized that the turian standing in front of him was Saren Arterius, his old mentor. _Strange_ , he thought as he put away his gun. _I didn’t know the council was sending anyone else with us._

“Saren,” Nihlus said, relief flooding his body. _Finally, I’ll get to work with someone competent_ , he thought as he looked around the desolate spaceport. “I had this covered, but I won’t turn down the assistance.”

“The council thought this was more than the humans could handle,” Saren said smoothly, placing a hand on Nihlus’s shoulder. “I refuse to let something so important be fumbled by hands barely touched by history.” 

“They are fledglings, but we have bigger worries, old friend,” Nihlus replied, watching the swarms of Geth gathering below. “Finding the Geth here is troubling- we need to report this development to the council.” 

“I agree,” Saren replied. “But I believe I have this situation under control.”

Nihlus was about to say something, but a scream from the distance caught his attention. “GUN!” 

Whirling around, Nihlus found himself face-to-face with Saren, who was aiming a gun at his head. Instinctively, he reached to disarm the turian- he swiped the gun out of his hands, causing the senior Spectre to let out a loud hiss, raking his omniblade across Nihlus’s face as they grappled for control. “You idiot!” Saren screamed, charging full-speed toward his former protege and kicking him in the chest, sending the turian sailing headfirst into a large metal crate. “I wanted a peaceful oblivion for you!”

Blue blood began to fill his vision and Nihlus hit the metal corner with a sickening thud, causing the world to swim before his eyes as he watched the Spectre run away, his form a blur as Nihlus fought to stay awake. _What happened to him? Why would he do this?_

Soon, pinpricks of black began to overtake the bright blue of his blood, and Nihlus felt the world start to slip away from him. _I guess I can’t get mad about the fledgling and his mouth anymore,_ he thought as the haze fell over him. _Too bad I won’t get the chance to tell him._

The last thing he saw as his eyes slipped shut was Jane- for a moment, he was back in the market on the Citadel, marveling at the hair that was the color of the blood dripping down his face and trying to hide his intentions from eyes the color of the smoke that was billowing across the horizon. _I’m sorry_ , he thought as the world faded away, replaced with darkness and the sound of his own heartbeat filling his ears. _I only wish I’d been honest with you._


	3. Bitter Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Chakwas treats patients in the medbay of the Normandy

_ _

* * *

_This is a surprise,_ Nihlus thought as consciousness seeped back in, allowing him to come to the realization that his body felt like it was on fire. _Funny, I was pretty sure death meant a release from pain, not more of it._ As he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the smell of blood, antiseptic, and citrus all mixing in his nose, and he immediately fought the urge to vomit. _How did I get here? Where’s Saren? What happened to the beacon?_

Wincing at the effort, the turian tried to sit up and was promptly pushed back down by a strong, firm hand. “I’m afraid you don’t want to do that,” a stern voice said. “You almost died, Kryik.” 

Nihlus fell back against the cot, willing his stomach to settle as he glanced over at the doctor. “Seeing as you’re human, why am I not dead?”

“It wasn’t for lack of trying,” the doctor informed him. “Massive head injury, severe facial and mandible lacerations, fractured abdominal plates, and a considerable amount of internal bleeding for good measure- all things considered, I’d say you were pretty darn lucky.” 

“That depends on your definition of lucky,” Nihlus grumbled, letting out a hiss as he tried to move and his body steadfastly disagreed with the concept. “I suppose I owe you my thanks, Doctor…”

“Chakwas,” the older woman said with a kind smile. “And it wasn’t just me- Jenkins patched you up enough to get here.” 

Nihlus cringed at the mention of the man who’d saved his life and instantly felt ashamed for wanting to abandon the boy. “It appears he wasn’t useless after all,” he grumbled. “I’ll go find him and offer my thanks… _after_ I speak with the Captain and Shepard.” 

“Whatever you have to say can wait,” Chakwas countered. “I don’t care who you are- you aren’t moving from that cot. I want you under observation for the night.” 

“That’s very nice, but the fact that my former mentor just tried to kill me sort of takes precedence over what you want,” Nihlus said irritably, the injury to his mandible making him feel like he was talking around cotton. “This is important.” 

Chakwas sighed. “And so is her getting some rest,” she replied, pulling back the curtain and exposing Jane, lying motionless on the cot next to him. “Spectre or not, I’m not waking her up to talk to you, Kryik.” 

Instantly, Nihlus froze- whatever pleasantries were present in his tone before were now long gone. “What happened to her? Who brought her in?” 

The doctor shook her head. “This isn’t the time-” 

“If you don’t tell me what happened, I’m tossing this ship until I find someone who will,” Nihlus growled, glaring at the doctor. “I don’t have time for this.”

Suddenly the doctor walked over to him, yanking down the neck of his undersuit, putting a finger to her lip and frowning. “Hmmm… it’s not you.” 

_What is she… oh, she’s checking to see if I have a bondmark._ “Of _course_ it isn’t,” he said gruffly, swatting away her hands. “Her _mate_ is on the Citadel… and I need to find out what’s going on so I can let him know.” 

Chakwas nodded, turning toward her terminal. “If I release you for a few hours… you have to promise to come back for overnight observation- otherwise I’m sedating you right now and this conversation of yours can wait until morning… clear?” 

“You could try,” Nih snarled, then realized there was an IV in his arm and the doctor was standing near a terminal. “Of course... you’ve got it loaded already, don’t you?” 

“This isn’t my first turian rodeo, Kryik,” Chakwas said with a wry grin before glancing down at the terminal again. “Now, what’s it going to be- the anti-nausea meds or the sedative?”

“You’d have made a fine turian,” Nihlus grumbled with approval, lying back on the cot and closing his eyes. “Give me the meds- I’ve got things to do.” 

_ _

* * *

Garrus was standing at his kitchen counter, brewing his thermos of kava when he got the notification that a call was coming through from the Normandy. _Maybe it’s Jane_ , he thought as he raced for the large terminal, settling down on the sofa. _I just hope it’s not Anderson… I don’t think I can handle that type of message._ Steeling himself, he closed his eyes and answered the call. “Hello?” 

“Vakarian,” the gruff voice on the other end of the line said, causing him to snap his eyes to the screen. Instead of being greeted by the face of his wife or the Captain, Garrus found himself staring at the scarred visage of a familiar-looking turian. “Are you able to talk right now?” 

“Um,” was all he could manage to get out- he was too busy trying to figure out how to make words. “Why are you calling me from the Normandy, Kryik?” 

“Funny, Jane said you were smart,” Nihlus replied dryly. “I guess she was mistaken.” 

“My wife didn’t mention you being there,” Garrus spat back, irritation creeping into his sub-vocals. “Why are you calling? And spirits above _,_ what happened to your _face_? Did you finally hit on the wrong person’s mate?”

The spectre let out a deep sigh and rolled his eyes. “Your wife is in the medbay, Vakarian.” 

Garrus just stared at Nihlus, blinking as his mandibles fluttered rapidly. “Come again?” 

“You heard me,” Nihlus ground out. “She saved this idiot human on her crew from getting blasted with a beam from a Prothean beacon- took the full force of the blast herself. She’s okay, but she’s unconscious right now… the doctor is keeping an eye on her as we speak.”

“That’s impossible,” Garrus replied, shaking his head furiously. “Someone’s lying about what happened to her, Kryik- there is no working Prothean technology-”

“Stop telling me what’s possible and listen,” Nihlus spat, an irritated growl rolling over the line. “If you want to help your wife, you need to shut your mouth and listen to me, Vakarian.”

At the mention of Jane, Garrus stopped and leaned his head against the couch, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself down. “Not that I’m not grateful for the update on my wife, but this sounds oddly like a conversation that is above my paygrade, Kryik… why are you telling me so much?”

“Because,” the turian said through gritted teeth, “I need your help, that’s why.”

Garrus blinked, then leaned forward- now he wasn’t sure this whole thing wasn’t an elaborate ruse somehow. “I certainly wasn’t expecting to hear _that_.”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting to say it, so we’re even,” Nihlus grumbled. “We’re coming back to the Citadel, but I need you and Shepard to do something for me in the meantime.”

“Why would we do anything for you?” Garrus asked, staring at the Spectre with interest. For the first time in history, Garrus found himself agreeing with his dad- the turian in front of him was sneaky, and certainly not above using others to get what he wanted. However, he didn’t have to tell him anything about Jane, so he supposed he could hear him out. _I owe him for that_ , he thought with a sigh, a resigned hum escaping his throat. “Never mind… what do you want?”

“I need you to dig up any dirt you can on a turian named Saren Arterius,” he said flatly. “No matter how insignificant you think it is, I need you to send it to your wife’s encrypted line.” 

Garrus felt a chill creeping up his spine, and he swallowed nervously. “And why would I go digging for information on a spectre?” 

Nihlus gave him an amused look. “So when it’s not involving someone talking to your mate, you don’t make a habit of digging through classified information?”

Garrus felt his neck flush, then lowered his head. _He’s got a point_ , he thought bitterly, running his hand over his fringe. “ _Fine_...why do you need it?” 

“Because he activated the beacon that’s responsible for your wife’s condition,” he replied flatly, his mandibles fluttering with annoyance. “But mostly because he tried to kill me- I tend to take my old mentor slicing up my face and kicking a hole in my chest rather personally,” Nihlus said dryly. “And since Saren already thinks I’m dead, I’d hate to disappoint him.”

“So you don’t want your signature on the files,” Garrus mused, finally getting what the spectre was playing at. “You don’t want him checking behind you.” 

Nihlus nodded. “So you do have a brain in there… good to know.” 

Bristling at the slight, Garrus forced his face to stay neutral. “Understood. What about you? They’re surely going to realize you’re alive the moment you step foot back on the Citadel- won’t he be able to find you that way?”

For the first time since the dinner party, Garrus heard the Spectre laugh. “You realize your wife hid from me for weeks, right? I’m pretty sure she can make me disappear without an issue.”

At that, Garrus let out a laugh of his own. “You _knew_ about that?”

“She’s the only untraceable hacker I’ve seen,” Nihlus said proudly. “If it hadn’t been for her standing up for you at the bar, I might have never found her. However,” the turian said, clearing his throat, “I need a place to stay while I’m on the Citadel… and a way to stay close to the investigation…”

“We’ll get you a hotel,” he said flatly. _There’s no way he’s staying here- I’m not letting this bastard steal even a moment of the time I could be spending with my wife._ “I’m sure Jane could book you something.” 

“I was actually thinking about that empty apartment across the hall from you,” the Spectre said with amusement. “This way, if anyone comes for Jane, I can be ready for them.” 

“Thanks for the offer, but we’re fine.” Then Garrus thought about the situation for a moment and blanched- Sol and Shepard would be easy targets if anyone went snooping around Jane’s last known residence. “Are there any places you scoped out in Shepard’s building?”

Nihlus answered the question without missing a beat. “Right next door.”

“ _Spirits_ , you’re creepy,” Garrus replied, shaking his head and sighing as he stared at the turian on his screen. “Is this really necessary?” 

Nihlus nodded. “If I play this right, you’re about to be married to the first human Spectre, Vakarian.” Then he looked down, and Garrus got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I just need one last thing from you… at least for a little while.” 

Immediately, Garrus was on guard again- he got the feeling he wasn’t going to like what the turian had to say to him. “What is it?” 

“Keep your marriage quiet for a little while,” Nihlus replied, and to his surprise, Garrus could hear a sad trill from the other end of the line. “The human ambassador is… not that fond of turians,” he said diplomatically. “I suspect he’s not going to be that broken up over my death.” Then, before he could protest, the turian fixed him with an icy stare. “I need her confirmed,” he said firmly. “And though I know denying your true relationship may hurt, I assure you that this confirmation is much more important right now.” 

“You just want revenge,” Garrus spat, unable to stop himself. “Look, I’m sorry your mentor turned on you, really I am… but you can handle this yourself, Kryik- why does my wife need to be involved in this?”

“Because she already is,” Nihlus replied cooly. “Saren knew I was out there- it won’t be hard to find out who else was on that mission. Do you really want her going up against one of the best Spectres that ever lived being stymied by council red tape at every turn? He’d shoot her in the head while she was busy filling out some bullshit form in triplicate.” Then he winced, touching his hand to his scarred mandible. “Please... just help me keep her safe,” he pleaded, an uncharacteristic waver running under his normally stoic voice. “I promise… that’s all I’m asking you for.” 

“Fine... I’ll do it,” Garrus replied, closing his eyes and tenting his hands. “But I’m not doing this for you, Kryik.” He finally looked up at the Spectre, anger and fear swirling in his gaze as a menacing thrum reverberated through his chest. “I’m doing this for my _mate_.” 

“I’d expect nothing less,” Nihlus replied, abruptly terminating the call and leaving Garrus alone, his apartment blanketed in uncomfortable silence. 

_ _

* * *

“Hey, you’re awake,” a voice said as Jane opened her eyes. “I think we’re still going to have to have a raincheck on that dinner- seems like we both had a rough go of it out there.” 

“Nih!” Jane exclaimed, leaping to hug the scarred turian. “Oh my god, you’re alive!” Then she pulled back and looked him over, putting one hand to her mouth in shock and touching his scarred face with the other. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I should’ve been there… this shouldn’t have happened.” 

He gently moved his head away, then gave her a half-smile. “Jane, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he said softly. “If anything, I should be thanking you- your petulance saved my life.”

“I don’t understand,” she said quietly. “We got to the spaceport, and you were there, against the crates, and-” Her eyes started watering, and she nervously bit her lip before throwing her arms around him again. “I thought I’d lost you, you big, evil bastard,” she murmured into his shoulder. “Don’t you _ever_ do that again, understand?” 

“Trust me, I’m not looking to getting my brains bashed in again anytime soon,” he said into her hair. “Almost being murdered once was enough for me, thanks.” She chuckled, and he stroked her hair. “But enough about me- what happened to you, Jane?” 

“After we found you and Jenkins, we were able to chase Saren to the beacon,” she said softly, closing her eyes at the memory. “He tried to blow the spaceport and everything in it, but we stopped him.” Taking a deep breath, she held him tighter, trying to stop herself from shaking. “Saren had activated the beacon,” she whispered. “It was still sparking when Cardboard Man walked in front of the damn thing- he must’ve set it off again somehow.”

“So why are you in here instead of the idiot man?” Nihlus asked, resting his hand on her back. “Personally, I’d rather that he was the one to get zapped by ancient technology.” 

“Yeah, well I know that for next time,” Jane joked. “I pushed him out the way, and bam- I got zapped instead. Now I’m the proud recipient of a boatload of freaky Prothean visions and a _massive_ headache- I think I got the shitty end of the deal.” 

“I think so too,” Nihlus agreed, laughing as she hit him in the arm. “Spirits, don’t _do_ that!" He glowered at her, then rubbed his arm. "I’m held together by tape at this point.” 

“You earned it,” she retorted, looking up at him with a shaky smile. “If I’m having a shitty day, everyone should have one- it’s a rule.” 

“That rule only applies to your mate,” Nihlus replied, poking her lightly in the shoulder. “ _I_ , on the other hand, am exempt- it’s one of the benefits of being a Spectre.”

Suddenly, the realization of where they were washed over Jane, and she moved away from him, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “Oh, my mistake,” Jane said suddenly, lowering her gaze to the floor, “I forgot, we’re not friends on the ship,” she said quietly. “I lost myself for a moment- it won’t happen again, I promise.”

“I think me nearly dying is enough of a reason to be a bit more familiar,” he teased, getting up to move to his cot. “Besides, I figured you’d be overcome with human emotion, so I took the liberty of calling your husband- we’re even now.”

“Thanks,” she said sheepishly, getting to her feet. _Nothing’s broken_ , she thought, flexing her fingers. _Thank goodness for small favours, I guess._ “I should probably call them back- I know he’s probably freaking out over you being here- not that I blame him.” 

Nihlus shrugged. “He got over it. He and your brother are going to help us out with a few things when we get to the Citadel.”

Jane frowned, unsure of what she’d just heard. “Um, those two _hate_ you, Nih- everyone knows that. Why on earth would they agree to help? ” 

Nihlus gave her an uncomfortable flip of his mandibles, wincing as the scarred one flexed limply. “Because they have to, Jane.”

Jane’s eyes narrowed as she stared at him- the turian began to squirm under her gaze. “They know who you are, don’t they?” When he looked away, she let out an agitated scream. “I’m gonna fucking kill _both_ of them!”

Nihlus winced, then cautiously looked up at her. “As much as I hate to incur your wrath… I feel like I have to speak up.” He sighed, then stared at the ceiling. “I asked them not to tell you- I needed to continue my evaluation, and it was easier for me with you not knowing what I was up to.”

“Johnny wouldn’t give a shit,” she said firmly, crossing her arms. “He could give two shits about you- why would he listen to you over protecting me?” 

“First of all, you never needed protecting and you know it,” Nihlus said irritably. “Second of all… it’s because I threatened to tell C-Sec on him and your husband for running an illegal tracer program on my omnitool.” He paused, then cut his eyes to her, his expression hopeful. “On second thought, all this is technically your brother’s fault- feel free to get as mad at him as you like.” 

“Rest assured, those two dorks are going to catch it for being stupid,” Jane spat, glaring at the broken turian in front of her. “But you… you’re a piece of work, Kryik- is there anything you won’t do to get what you want? Are you really even my friend? Is this all part of some elaborate psych profile or something?”

“I told you the truth already,” he said quietly. “Do I regret not telling you everything? No- I stand by that decision because now I know what kind of person you are when you have nothing to prove. But if you’re asking me if I regret hurting you, then the answer is yes- you’re the only friend I’ve had,” Nihlus muttered, letting a sad-sounding hum echo across the cold metal walls of the medbay. "Saren trying to kill me just made that infinitely clear."

“You make being your friend hard,” Jane whispered, sitting on the bed next to him. “I _hate_ being lied to, Nih- to me, hiding things is the same as lying.”

“I know,” he replied sadly, resting his hand on hers. “But as much as I want your friendship, I want your candidacy more.” Then the turian turned to look at her, his green eyes sad and serious as he spoke. “Humanity needs a representative like you, so if it takes me losing the only person who gives a shit about me to make the galaxy a better place, then I’ll deal with it- you’re more important,” he said firmly. “No matter what, I’ll survive… and that’s all thanks to you.” 


	4. Family Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John meets the Normandy when they arrive on the Citadel

_ _

* * *

John sat nervously at the dock, waiting on the ship’s doors to open. Joker had already told him they were coming in, and he was more than ready to see his sister. _I look the part of the dedicated C-Sec officer,_ he thought as he smoothed his jacket. _Wonder how that’s gonna go over with Ash. Hell, I wonder how seeing her again is going to go- it’s been a long time. _

This whole plan of Kryik’s had him on edge- it put Janey in the crosshairs of the council when all that spiky bastard would have to do was give the goddamn report himself. However, as much as he wanted to fight the turian about it, John had to concede that he was right- if the Spectre had gone rogue, he wanted as much info on the man as possible, and someone needed to have the impunity to take him out. _Having two Spectres on our side would definitely be better, but it doesn’t mean I have to like him,_ John thought bitterly, a frown spreading across his face. _Deep breaths, Johnny- you just have to work with him long enough to get this shit done._

Suddenly, the hatch opened and John pushed away his anger long enough to rush toward his sister, losing all sense of decorum as he threw his arms around her in a crushing hug. “Stop trying to give me a heart attack,” he snapped, pulling back to look at her. “I leave you alone for a few days and you stumble into a fucking conspiracy?” He scowled at her, then laughed as she gave him a sly grin. “What the hell am I gonna do with you?” 

Jane started to say something, but she was interrupted by a stern-looking man with dark brown hair clearing his throat behind her. “Sir, I’m going to need you to step away from the commander… _now_.” 

John just blinked, trying to figure out just who was dumb enough to tell him what to do with his sister. _“Excuse me?”_ He stood up and looked at the man, hoping like hell he wasn’t serious. “You _do_ realize who I am, right?”

“Trust me, Alenko,” a voice said from the entrance of the ship, “you might not want to get in between those two… it’s liable to end in destruction.” John snapped his head to the voice, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw the woman he thought he’d never get the chance to see again. “Hi Johnny,” Ash said quietly. “It’s good to see you.” 

Standing up a little straighter, John nodded. “Good to see you too, Ash.” He looked down for a moment, trying to figure out where to put his face. “I’m glad you’re ok.” 

“Thanks,” Ash said as she walked down the ramp and moved closer. She had a few scratches and bruises, but otherwise, Ash looked the same as she did the day she left, minus the puffy eyes and the frustrated look on her face. “You know me- it’d take a lot more than some mechanical bastards to take me out.”

Even though she was facing away from him, John could hear his sister making gagging noises- scowling, he elbowed her in the side and hoped like hell she’d shut up. “I’d expect nothing less,” he said warmly. Then he turned to his sister, who was giving him a look that he’d quickly learned meant that she had hit her limit and was ready to start throwing things. “I’m here to escort you to the Ambassador,” John told the group, offering Anderson a salute as he exited the ship. “Be careful, though- whatever you guys got going on seems to have really pissed in Udina's cheerios this morning.”

“Yeah, well I'm not exactly feeling peachy myself,” Jane grumbled. No doubt the turian had filled her in on the plan, which would explain her shitty mood- John knew without a shadow of a doubt she’d been hoping to have her husband greet them at the docks. “Let’s get this dog and pony show over and done with- I’ve got things to do.”

“More like a husband to do,” John muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Jane to hear. Though she didn’t respond, he could see the corners of her mouth turn up into a smile, and John chuckled as they made their way toward the council. “He’s doing what he can to get this done,” John whispered, careful to keep his expression neutral as they walked. “We can talk about this over dinner tonight.”

“Just as long as you keep that bitch away from me,” Jane growled. “Anderson brought her on the mission- I, however, recommended punting her ass out of the airlock, but unfortunately it wasn’t my call.”

“Glad to see you can still follow orders,” John replied with a laugh as Jane glared at him. “It'd be hard to have a family get together tonight if I had to lock my sister up for murder.”

Jane ignored his joke. “You know the bitch is still racist as fuck, right?” Jane muttered. Her voice was so low he could barely hear her, but her irritation was loud and clear. “She hasn’t changed, John- she threatened to shoot Nih on principle.” 

“In all fairness,” John said with a grin, “we all want to shoot Nihlus- it’s apparently part of his charm.” 

“You’re a dick,” his sister grumbled before squeezing his hand, watching as Anderson left to get Udina. _Us against the world,_ he thought with a smile, feeling the weight of her smaller hand in his. “I’m scared, Johnny.” 

“You got this,” he replied as they walked into the chambers, wincing as he heard Vakarian yelling at Executor Pallin. _So much for calm and collected,_ John thought, gripping Jane’s hand- he knew that she was ready to fly over there and either solve the problem or punch the turian, but neither action was what they needed right now. “Vakarian!” John called out, causing the turian to snap his attention to him. “Got a second?”

When he saw Jane, his eyes widened for a moment, then settled in a mask of calm. “Shepard,” he said flatly, causing the Executor to look at him strangely before storming off. _Must be those turian sub-vocals,_ John thought with a shake of his head. _Our boy is a terrible liar._ “I’ve been trying to get the council to look at our information, but they won’t hear me out at all- it’s like talking to a brick wall.” 

“Or cardboard,” Jane quipped, under her breath, causing John to let out a surprised snort. “Care to introduce us, John?”

John saw his partner’s mandibles twitch, but he played along. “Garrus Vakarian,” he replied, not taking his eyes off Jane. “Pleasure to meet you.” 

“Commander Shepard,” she replied, reaching out her hand to Garrus. “The pleasure is mine, I assure you.” 

The two of them shook hands, albeit a little too long for John’s comfort. _Come on… he thought hurriedly, can it already- you two look like you’re going to start fucking right here._ Just as he feared, this closeness wasn’t lost on the others, because the wooden board that had been staring at Jane’s ass finally spoke up. “Staff Lieutenant Alenko,” he said firmly, staring at the turian. “Nice to meet you.” 

Vakarian looked at the man as if he’d lost his mind, but begrudgingly gave him a slight nod of acknowledgment. John watched as Ash and Vakarian eyed each other, but she didn’t offer her information and he didn’t press for it. _I don’t need this,_ John thought wearily, glancing at his sister, who was clearly wearing an ‘I told you so’ expression on her face. He frowned at her, but she just shrugged, her expression steeling as her eyes trailed the approaching human ambassador. “Looks like it’s time to speak to the council,” she said with a sigh. “Joy.”

From the corner of his eye, John could see Vakarian twitching, and he could hear the soft rumbles coming from his chest- it had to be killing him to be this close to his wife without being able to comfort her, so John gave a slight nod and squeezed Jane’s hand. “I’m not worried,” he said, staring his sister in the eye. “Give ‘em hell, sis.”

She nodded, then gave him a lopsided smile- it was one of the few expressions they shared, and John always delighted in seeing it on her face. “Wait for me?” 

“Couldn’t move me if they wanted to,” John replied. “Perks of being an officer.” He glanced at Vakarian, then cleared his throat. “You mind waiting around with me?”

Letting out a grateful rumble, his partner nodded, looking over the others again. “Of course, Shepard.” 

As Jane, Anderson, and Udina walked away, Ashley let out a groan. “You know,” she said pointedly, “he doesn’t _have_ to stay- he’s not Alliance, Johnny.” 

The meaning in her tone was clear- _he’s not human._ “Ash, technically I’m not Alliance anymore either, but Janey and Anderson trust me,” he said gently. “And I trust Vakarian.” 

Ash got a look of disgust on her face, then looked at the turian standing next to him. “But he’s…” 

Vakarian cut the woman off before she said something that she wasn’t going to be able to walk back. “C-Sec,” he said firmly. “And Shepard’s partner… who’s also looking into the same thing you are.” In a measure of infinite patience, Vakarian extended his hand to Ashley. “I didn’t catch your name, miss…”

“No one asked you,” Ash snapped, jerking away from him as if he was poisonous. Then she turned to John, her face pleading. “I just think it’d be better if it was just people close to the mission… that’s all.” 

_Shut up, shut up, shut up_ , John thought, putting a hand to his temple as an irritated rumble left his partner. “Ash,” he said warningly, glancing over at Alenko in the hopes he might offer some assistance, but that was too much like right, “can you please just let this go?” 

When she snorted, Vakarian’s mandibles flared out and he turned away from her, no doubt trying to keep his composure. “I just don’t understand,” she huffed, crossing her arms. “First that Spectre, now him? At this rate, your sister is going to let the whole damn hierarchy take a turn.” 

John glared at her, feeling the veins in the back of his neck start to pulsate as electricity began to roll over his skin. _Holy shit, I haven’t lost control of my biotics in years,_ he thought as he flexed his hands, willing himself to calm down. _This is not good… at all._ “Ash, you need to shut the fuck up, ok?” 

However, Vakarian had reached his limit- the turian whirled around on her, the rumble in his chest now angry and loud. “And now I _see_ why your sister thinks she’s a bitch!” He snapped his head to John, his mandibles pressed tightly to his face. “Spirits _above_ , how desperate were you to almost marry this irritating shrew- she’s so jealous of your sister she can’t see straight!” Ash and Alenko let out mutual gasps, but Vakarian wasn’t done. “Tell me, Shepard,” he sneered, his eyes boring holes into Ash’s skull, “wasn’t the fact that she obviously wants to get your sister in bed a turnoff?” 

“Fuck you!” Ashley hissed, her face turning a wicked shade of purple. “I-”

“You wouldn’t get the chance,” Vakarian said snidely, leaning down and glaring at the woman, “because I wouldn’t fuck you with a ten-foot pole, you hateful bitch.” He glanced over to John, then shook his head. “I can ignore her talking crap about me, but I draw the line at her disrespecting your sister, Shepard.”

“Why the fuck do you care,” Ash muttered, crossing her arms. “Oh, wait, I forgot- _everyone_ seems to think the sun rises and sets out of her ass.” She glared at John, her beautiful face twisted into a hateful sneer. “You never could see anything bad where your sister was concerned, Johnny- I don’t know why I ever thought you’d change.” 

At that, John felt the electricity roll over his body again, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. Alenko must have recognized the signs of an impending meltdown because he finally decided to grow a pair of balls and step into the fray. “All right, we’re taking a walk,” Alenko said, gripping Ash’s shoulders. “No matter how you feel, Shepard is still your XO,” he hissed as they walked away and headed for a corner. “You can’t say things like that, Williams!” 

John blew out a deep breath, then turned to look at Vakarian, who was still rumbling loudly. “Fuck, that was… not good. At all." 

Vakarian snorted. “You don’t say?” He crossed his arms, then stared at John. “How in the world could you put _up_ with someone like that, Shepard?” 

“It’s complicated,” John said weakly. “She… she wasn’t always like that.” He ran a hand over his hair as he blew out a deep breath, willing the energy to recede- he didn’t need people seeing this. “Honestly, I don’t think she’s even xenophobic… it’s like I said- I just don’t think she took me leaving that well, ok?” 

“To put it mildly,” his partner replied. “Was she always this…this _hateful_ , though?” The turian glared in their direction for a moment, then let out an angry rumble. “Because right now, I don’t care what that asshole Kryik wants- that woman is not getting anywhere _near_ my wife, Shepard.”

“Calm down, you overgrown chicken cat,” John said quietly, successfully diffusing him a little. “Janey can handle herself- you know that. Come to think of it, she’d probably be more pissed at us for interfering.”   
  
“You have a point.” Vakarian gave a soft huff, then let his mandibles flutter for a moment before turning back to the council chambers. “This whole thing better be worth it,” he grumbled, tapping his foot anxiously. “Because this is a _lot_ to deal with right now and I’m not seeing any upsides.” 

“All we can do is trust that Janey’s got this under control,” John replied. “And believe me… if there’s ever an option, I’m always gonna bet on my sister.”

_ _

* * *

Jane walked out of the council chambers, working hard to keep her face neutral. She knew they wouldn’t believe her- Nihlus had warned her about that. She even knew that Saren would lie through his teeth- after all, she was basically charging him with treason. _But to run Uncle David’s name through the mud like that and act like he didn’t try to murder Nihlus is unforgivable,_ she thought angrily, her hands balled into fists at her side. _I have never wanted to punch a hologram in the mouth so fucking much before._

“Jane,” Anderson whispered in her ear, “we knew this would happen, remember? Don’t let it get to you- we have bigger things to deal with right now.”

“Still doesn’t mean I have to like it, Uncle David,” she grumbled, raising an eyebrow at the factions waiting outside for her. “I blame you,” she told the captain quickly, looking at the furious-looking turian and the indignant-looking woman standing on opposite sides of the room. “Whatever happened, you _know_ she started it.” 

“It could’ve been John,” Anderson deadpanned, smiling and running his hand over his head as Jane glared at him. “She’s a good soldier,” he said firmly, giving Jane a stern look when she let out a dismissive snort. “She deserves the chance to prove herself, Jane.”

“She deserves a punch in the throat,” Jane replied, rolling her eyes. “But fine. Fair warning- she’s got one time to say something to me before I hand her a piece of her ass.” 

“Whatever just happened doesn’t count,” he said quickly, taking note of John’s pinched face. “WIlliams,” Anderson called out as he walked toward them, “I need you back on the Normandy for a moment.” Then he turned to Jane, a ‘don’t argue with me’ look on his face. “We need evidence on what Saren was doing if we want to get through to the council- while I’m dealing with things out here, you need to see what we can do to convince them about what’s really going on.” 

John gave Jane a look, then cleared his throat. “My partner was just telling Pallin about some info he found on Saren, but the files were redacted and shot to hell. Maybe someone could help him take a look at them, see if we can make sense of it?” 

Jane nodded, folding her hands behind her back. “Vakarian,” she called out, trying to keep any emotion out of her voice, “you’re the one with the files, right?” Playing along, her husband nodded- even still, Jane could see the twinkle in his eye that clearly told her how happy he was to see her. “I’d like to see them if I could- I may be able to help you make sense of them.” When he gave her a look, she smiled. “You can keep anything that’s sensitive- I understand if you have protocols you have to follow.” 

“Nonsense, this is an investigation,” Garrus said smoothly. “I’m happy to help… _Commander_.” She bit her lip, knowing he wanted to call her by her name, but was clearly trying to be professional. “Please,” he said, gesturing to the elevator, “follow me.” 

But of course, Cardboard 2.0 decided that he had to insert his nose into things- ever since she’d knocked him out the way of the beacon, he’d been acting stranger than usual. “If it’s all the same to you, I think I should go with you, Commander- you need someone to watch your back in case things go wrong.” 

_Dude, if you only knew,_ Jane thought, doing her best not to glance up at her husband. “Thank you for the offer, but I’ll be fine. If it's all right with you, Anderson, I’m going to do some research, then I’ll head to John’s after this- I love the Normandy, but if I have the choice between a bunk and a real bed…” 

Anderson laughed. “Permission granted, though I don’t think you actually asked, Shepard.” She grinned, and he just shook his head. “I want everyone on standby and ready to leave at a moment’s notice- if anyone finds out anything, radio in.” 

“I think I could be of assistance,” Cardboard replied, staring at Garrus as if he’d suspected him of shoplifting. “I’m happy to help you comb through data.”

 _Over my dead body_ , Jane thought, trying to figure out a nice way to get the man off her back. She wanted to pawn him off on Anderson, but she knew he was already doing her a service by removing Ashley from the equation. “Alenko,” Jane replied, “I appreciate the assistance, but-”

“I could use the help instead,” John offered, giving the wooden man a megawatt grin and earning himself a scowl from Ashley. “I got a few files and a few leads I need to run down myself- if my partner is tied up with your Commander, I’d be happy to get the help.” 

Cardboard looked torn- on the one hand, everyone knew he wanted to stick with Jane. On the other hand, he’d also made it clear that he wanted to help- with John openly giving him the chance, he couldn’t back out without looking foolish. “Thanks,” he replied, not sounding the least bit thankful. “I’m sure we’ll be able to figure some things out.”

Jane held back a sigh of relief as she turned to Garrus, who was doing his best to keep his sub-vocals in check. “Now that we’ve got all this squared away, how about you point me at those files, big guy?” 

“The name is _Vakarian_ ,” he said pointedly, accidentally letting a tiny trill escape before turning away from her. “If we want to get started, we better hurry- the elevators up here are notoriously slow.”

“Then after you... _Vakarian_ ,” Jane replied pointedly as she gestured toward the elevator, taking great pains to surreptitiously watch her husband’s ass as he purposefully strode in front of her. 


	5. Different Routes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alenko comb through files; Jane and Garrus answer a distress call

_ _

* * *

As soon as the doors closed, Garrus pulled his wife into his arms and kissed her- his sub-vocals were rumbling so loudly that he was pretty sure that anyone on the floors as they passed could hear it, but he hardly cared. To him, all that mattered was that she was here, in his arms, and that she was safe- anything else was secondary, no matter what Nihlus said. “Spirits, I missed you,” he breathed, letting Jane up for air and resting his head against hers, delighting in the rosy flush on her cheeks. “I’m thinking this whole ruse isn’t worth it,” he grumbled, pressing her close and resting his head against the collar of her uniform, wishing he could take a moment and ground himself a little by touching her mark, “because if I see that man staring at your ass one more time, I think I’m going to shoot him.”

“I think that might be frowned upon,” she whispered, reaching up to stroke his fringe. “Besides, I hear I have a really nice ass in this uniform- I’d be offended if he didn’t look, actually.”

Garrus growled and cupped his hands around her ass, pulling her against him and nipping her neck. “You’re right- it _is_ a nice ass,” he murmured. “And I’d be happy to show you just how much _I_ appreciate it.” 

“You keep this up and I just might have to tell my husband,” Jane purred as she rested her head against his shoulder, her hands resting on his hips. “I hear he frowns on this sort of thing.” 

Though he couldn’t feel her through his armor, Garrus let out a moan, nuzzling her head with his own. “He’s a lucky man,” he replied, inhaling the scent that was uniquely his mate and cursing the knot her dark strands were pulled back into. “I need to get you home, Jane.” 

“Unfortunately, we’ve got a murderous Spectre on the loose that seems intent on cock-blocking us,” Jane replied, sighing as the elevator slowed and she sadly moved away. “So I think you better point me at those files, Officer Vakarian- I’ve got a husband to get home to.” 

Garrus gave her a wistful smile, then leaned his head next to her ear, quickly flicking his tongue delicately against her earlobe. “As you wish... Commander Shepard-Vakarian.” 

“I think I like the sound of that,” Jane murmured, caressing the nape of his neck and pulling his head toward hers for a kiss. “I’m also really glad this elevator is slow.”

“Not slow enough,” he grumbled, cursing his luck and pulling away as the car came to a stop. “Sure you didn’t leave anything upstairs? I’d be happy to come with you to get it…”

Jane rolled her eyes as they stepped out of the elevator, trying to put her commander face back on. Garrus realized that as happy as he was to get his wife back, he had to admit that she was damn sexy when she took charge. “Where to, Officer Vakarian?” 

He started to tease her, but the chime from his omnitool interrupted him. When he read the message, a frown crossed his face. “Hmmm… looks like I have a call to respond to.”

Jane extended her hand to him, her grey eyes glinting and her fingers twitching with excitement. “I _know_ you’ve got an extra gun," she said mischievously. "Want some backup?”

Shaking his head, Garrus tossed his wife his spare pistol and smirked as he ushered Jane into the nearest rapid transit vehicle. “If anyone asks, you’re Officer Shepard...got it?” 

“You know, I like the way you think,” Jane replied with a teasing grin, resting her hand on his lap as they took off toward the clinic. “Looking forward to working with you… Vakarian.” 

_ _

* * *

John was walking toward the C-Sec offices, trying to figure out just what he should do with this piece of human luggage following behind him. Most of his notes on Saren were at home, and there was absolutely no way that he was taking tall, dark, and possibly stupid with him- he had to find another way to occupy the man. _Janey and Vakarian are damn lucky I like them,_ he grumbled to himself. _Otherwise, I would’ve gladly let this lovesick puppy piss all over their parade._

“So,” John said brightly, desperately trying to make the most of a shitty situation, “you’re serving with my sister, huh? How’s that working out for you?”

“Commander Shepard is a fine soldier,” Alenko said stiffly. “Dedicated, driven, and capable- I couldn’t ask for more in an XO.”

John let out a snort. “Careful… don’t let Janey hear you talking like that, she’s liable to have your head for it.” 

Alenko’s eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed. “I’ll have you know that I would _never_ be inappropriate with my commanding officer.” The dark-haired man looked extremely offended as John moved in front of him to open the door and usher him into an unused C-Sec conference room. “You’re former Alliance- you should know that.” 

John sighed. “I do know that… what I was trying to tell you is being too formal is the quickest way to get on her bad side- if you don’t want my sister trying to smother you with your own shirtsleeves, I’d suggest you start treating her like a person instead of a regulation manual.” 

Alenko nodded, then headed to a nearby seat while John pulled up a few of the strange files. “She tells me you’re a biotic?” 

John nodded. “Cut the shit, man- you know I am. I know you saw me about to start an electrical fire back there.” He searched for one of the files with the weird data encoding- they’d grown more numerous over the last few weeks, and he wouldn’t be offended by the extra eyes on them. “Judging by the fact you knew the signs, I’m guessing you’re one, too.” 

The wooden man nodded, then rubbed his neck. “Good observation,” he replied. “I wouldn’t expect a decorated vet to lose control like that, though.” 

“Well, having those two in the same room tends to send my nerves through a meat grinder,” John admitted, pulling up one of the files. “You try dealing with two women determined to turn everything into a fight to the death and see how much control you have- glad I’m not wearing an amp anymore, or that might have been a fucking disaster.” 

Alenko raised an eyebrow at John. “That little light show of yours was without your amp?” When John nodded, the soldier let out a whistle. “So your sister wasn’t exaggerating.” 

“My _sister_? _Exaggerate_?” John scoffed, then grinned at the man before tossing the file on the screen. “Perish the thought, sir.” 

Alenko laughed good-naturedly, then turned his attention to the screen. “What are we looking at, officer?”

“John is fine,” he replied, not wanting the man to get into the habit of using his title. “I’ve been finding a bunch of these files, but there’s a strange encoding to all of them- they’ve been popping up more and more lately, so I wonder if it has anything to do with our mystery man.” John frowned, then pulled up another file. “And look at this- a bunch of dead mercs, seemingly random… all after this robbery was reported where nothing was listed as stolen.” He leaned back in the chair, folding his hands behind his head. “This can’t all be a coincidence- that shit sounds like a cleanup to me.”

Alenko nodded, rubbing his chin as he leaned back in his chair. “Well, there has to be someone out there who didn’t take the job, right?” 

John just stared at him, curious about where he was going with this. “Considering we’ve still got boatloads of mercs creeping around here, I’d say that’s a high possibility.” 

The soldier shrugged, peering intently at the file. “I mean, it would stand to reason that someone heard about the job and didn’t take it, right?" He turned to John with a thoughtful expression. "Maybe we can ask them about it and get some information?”

“No offense, but I am a cop and you scream “I preserve the law” even more than I do, Alenko- there’s not a shot in _hell_ any merc is gonna talk to me while you’re with me.” 

“Better me than the turian,” Alenko countered, crossing his arms. “I can blend… I just need to get out of this uniform first.” 

“Dude, I could roll you in gold paint and glitter and you’d still scream military,” John retorted. “I’m not looking to get shot to make you feel useful.” Now he was starting to get a headache- wincing, he rubbed his temples. “Fuck me sideways, I don’t need this today.” 

“Look, I know you don’t know me, but I can help,” Alenko said firmly. “If you’re that worried about it, I’ll cover you from a distance, but I’m afraid I can’t let the Commander’s brother go out to see a merc without backup.” 

Sighing, John flipped through his files. “Thankfully, this may be a moot point- there’s chatter about a krogan merc being detained by C-Sec as we speak.” Shrugging, John glanced over at the man. “Who knows- maybe he’ll have some info for us.” 

_ _

* * *

As she and Garrus approached the clinic, Jane could hear the sounds of glass breaking and a woman screaming. Instantly, she turned to her husband, her pistol at the ready. “How do you want to do this?” 

He looked at her like she had lost her mind. “The way that _doesn’t_ involve my wife running into a fight without any armor, thank you very much.”

“Okay, so the hard way then,” Jane replied, racing inside to find a group of thugs surrounding a tall redheaded woman. Deciding that crazy was the universal language of stupid, she popped into the room with a bright smile on her face. “Aww, If this is a party, why didn’t you guys invite me? I think my feelings are hurt.” Jane called out cheerfully while Garrus moved around behind her, no doubt angry as hell but knowing they had more important things to worry about right now. “And when my feelings are hurt, my gun comes out.” Jane casually waved her pistol, spotting Garrus positioning himself for a shot on the man nearest to her out of the corner of her eye. “Tell you what- how about you step away from the woman and I won’t be as mad about you forgetting to invite me.” 

As she suspected, the one holding the woman was not amused by her speech. “Lady, this doesn’t concern you, so I’d suggest you shut the fuck up before I make it about you.” 

Jane pretended to think about it, then gave the man a menacing grin as she watched his underling reaching for his gun, the glint of metal reflecting under the harsh clinic lights. “Wrong answer.” Before the man could draw his gun, Jane had whipped out a clean headshot, flipping over a nearby table and diving behind it while the others started opening fire on her.

There was a crash, and Jane could see her husband taking out one of the nearby thugs through a mirror. As another man’s screams rang out, the leader let out a howl of rage. _“SOMEONE GET THAT BITCH!”_

“I take offense to that!” Jane screamed, popping up from cover to take out another one of the men. In the corner of the room, she could see the terrified redheaded woman cowering with her head in her hands, and Jane breathed a sigh of relief. _At least the civilian is ok,_ she thought as she took a few more of the thugs down, then let out a hiss when she realized she was out of ammo. Cursing, she hoped like hell her husband would have her back. “I’m out!” 

In response, there was a loud crack that was quickly followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor. “Spirits _above_ ,” Garrus hissed, walking into the clinic, “have you lost your mind, Shepard?” 

“I got the job done,” she said cooly, turning her attention to the redhead who was staring at Garrus in awe. “Are you all right, ma’am?” 

However, the woman completely ignored Jane, rushing over to throw her arms around the turian. “Thank you so much,” she sobbed. “You saved my life!” 

Trying her best to not be angry at what was obviously a trauma victim, Jane raised her eyebrows. “Technically, I think I did that, but whatever,” she muttered. “Mind telling us why a cadre of armed thugs was trying to take you out?”

The woman continued to ignore her, choosing to bury her face into Garrus’s chest instead. _Ok_ , Jane thought irritably, _I’ll give you the first one for shock, but this is getting to be a bit too much, lady._ Clearing her throat, Jane caught her husband’s eye and looked down at the woman pointedly- thankfully, Garrus got the hint. “Doctor Michel,” he said gently, prying her fingers off his armor and guiding her to a seat, “can you tell us why there were armed thugs in your clinic?”

“Oh,” she said, sniffling and beaming at Garrus when he handed her a cup of water, “I treated a quarian who was looking for a place to hide- she said she had information on a Spectre working with the geth and she needed a place to hide, so I put her in contact with Fist.” 

Instantly, Jane stiffened, turning to look at her husband. “Did she give a name for this Spectre?”

Finally, the woman looked at Jane and blinked- it was almost as if she’d just now realized she was in the room with her. “Um… Saren something, I believe,” she replied, turning her attention back to Garrus. “But I don’t understand- Fist works for the shadow broker! Turning on him is suicide- why would he send people to kill me!”

“Looks like Saren turned Fist,” Garrus grumbled, ignoring the woman’s attempts to take his hand and clumsily patting her shoulder for a moment before walking over to Jane. “We have to find that quarian... and fast. It looks like he's trying to clean up loose ends around here.”

Jane nodded. “I'd agree… guess it's time to get back to John and Mr. Cardboard- we might need backup on this one.” 

Garrus sighed, then gestured toward the door. The expression on his face left no room for doubt- he was _definitely_ irritated with her little show back there. “I'm ready whenever you are, Shepard.” 

_ _

* * *

As John stared up at the krogan, he realized there wasn’t a shot in hell he was going to intimidate him into doing a damn thing he didn’t want to do. The red-armored giant was clearly enjoying watching the officers squirm- John did not doubt that he could leave at any moment and the only thing he’d see from his ‘guards’ was a trickle of urine escaping down their legs. “Ok, new plan,” John said, turning to the man next to him, wondering just how naive he really was, “you’re Alliance- you can question him.” When Alenko gave him a wide-eyed look, John just shrugged. “He obviously has no love for C-Sec,” he said breezily. “Maybe an Alliance member will have better luck.” 

Alenko sighed, then walked over to the Krogan. “Excuse me, I’d like to-”

The krogan didn’t even give him the chance to finish. “Piss off,” the krogan growled, leaning into the lieutenant’s face, his breath ruffling his short hair and making him close his eyes. “You’re bothering me.” 

_“All right then,”_ Alenko replied, turning on his heel and hurrying back to John, looking like he couldn’t get away from the red giant fast enough. “Yeah, that didn’t work,” the man replied, running his hand over his hair and looking warily back at the krogan. “Got a new plan?” 

“As a matter of fact, I do,” John said smugly, walking up to the krogan and listening to Alenko muttering about ‘stupidest idea ever’. “Urdnot Wrex,” he said casually, watching the krogan and not breaking his gaze. “Famed mercenary and bounty hunter… there’s not much that happens on the Citadel to warrant the big guns getting called out- what’s your story?” 

“Go away, human,” Wrex growled, his nostrils flaring. As John stared at him, he could see why everyone was terrified- his red eyes were piercing, and the wide maw of teeth sneering at him didn't exactly invite conversation. “You have nothing I want.” 

John didn’t move. “No, I don’t think I will,” he said casually, crossing his arms and staring up at the krogan. _You better hope you can activate your shields if this goes sideways,_ he thought, trying to keep his cool. “And until you actually talk to me, you won’t know what I have, will you?”

The krogan huffed, then leaned toward John, but John just stared back without blinking. After a few moments, the krogan chuckled, then leaned back. “All of the other humans would’ve pissed themselves by now.”

“Probably,” John said with a shrug, sounding a lot more casual than he felt. “But when you face down a slew of batarian slavers, one lonely krogan in the middle of C-Sec seems like a cakewalk.” 

At that, the krogan let out a roaring laugh. “A smart-ass pyjack with a quad!” Wrex thumped John on the back, rocking him on his heels a little- he shifted his weight to make sure he stayed on his feet. “What’s your name, human?”

“John Shepard,” he replied, smiling as Wrex gave him a slight head tilt- the krogan must have recognized his name somehow. “Looks like you know who I am.” 

Wrex chuckled again. “One of the great Shepards,” he said with interest, his eyes roaming over John and nodding with approval. “Seems like yours is a proud lineage- your clan seems to make great warriors.” 

“I wouldn’t say we’re a clan- it’s just me and my sister,” John replied, relaxing a little but being careful to not piss off the towering giant. “But I do appreciate the sentiment.”

“Unlike these others, you’ve earned your question,” Wrex said, crossing his arms. “What do you want, Shepard?” 

“Information,” he said simply. “There’s been a lot of dead mercs ever since this robbery job- I’m just trying to see if I can get some of the details.” 

“What job?” Wrex replied, his interest piqued. “I hear about a lot of jobs, and mercs don’t live long as a rule… unless you’re krogan, that is.” 

“A robbery on a Volus cargo ship,” John replied, watching the old krogan carefully. “Seems like every record is scrubbed clean, including anything from the manifest that might have been stolen. I’m looking for any details… figured a merc might know who was hiring for that job.” Wrex just stared, so John decided to continue. “If you help me, I might be able to help you find what you’re looking for- at the very least, I’ll be more helpful than my idiot colleagues.” 

Wrex laughed, shaking his head as they moved to a quiet corner of the room. “You’ve got honor, Shepard- I’m not going to let you make a deal you have no way to come through on.”

“You seem to have a rather high opinion of me,” John said wryly. “Honestly, I’m just an interesting combination of lucky and stupid- it seems to work, though.” 

The krogan just laughed harder, slapping John on the back and making him pitch forward. “Let me tell you what I’m looking for, and if you don’t run off crying to your superiors, then I’ll tell you what you want to know- how’s that sound?”

“Works for me,” John replied, glancing over at Alenko, who was doing his best to overhear their conversation without drawing attention to himself. “What do you need, Wrex?” 

“I’m looking for info on Fist,” the krogan rumbled, the sound jostling John's insides. “I have business with him.” 

John eyed the krogan with what he hoped came across as mild interest. _Great_ , he thought, _I'm getting myself tangled up in a bounty- this is going to go over swimmingly_. “I take it this interest doesn’t involve him knowing you’re coming.” 

Wrex just crossed his arms, letting out a soft snort. “Usually cleaner when they don’t, but it’s more fun when they do.” 

“Fair enough,” John replied, opening up a comms channel before the krogan told him something he shouldn't be hearing. “Let me ask my contact if they think they can dig up some information on him, and we can talk.” 

The krogan nodded, then leaned back against the pillar while John called Jane. “Eliza,” he said into the line, being careful not to give his sister's identity away. “I need some information.” 

Thankfully, his sister didn’t miss a beat. “You found a lead?” 

“Maybe,” John replied, wondering why she'd even answered the phone. In truth, he'd just made the call for show- he was pretty sure the two of them would be all over each other by now. “Depends on how good you are, though. Think you can find someone for me?” 

Even without seeing her face, John knew Jane was smirking. “Of course- ask me for something hard next time, Johnny.” 

John looked up at Wrex, then nodded, turning back to his call. _Of course, the one time I need her to say she can't do it..._ “I need info on a guy named Fist… think you can get me some?”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. “Who… who did you just say again?” 

“Fist,” John repeated, a frown crossing his face- her tone sounded odd. “Why, what’s going on?” 

There was silence, most likely due to her talking to Vakarian about his request- when she came back to the line, her voice was tight. “Why does your contact want him?”

“He’s got business with him,” John said evenly, not wanting to say anything that could be used against him later on. “Special business, Eliza.” 

“Then I need to meet this contact of yours,” she replied. “Because I think we have the same business… Saren has turned Fist- he’s trying to kill a quarian who’s got data on him working with the geth. We need to find this man, too.” 

“No shit?” John was surprised- he hadn’t expected Jane and Vakarian to actually accomplish a damn thing except ripping off each other’s clothes. “How fast can you guys get to C-Sec?”

“Fast as fuck,” Jane replied. “Keep your contact busy- we’ll talk more when we get there.” 

“Will do. See you in a bit.” He disconnected the call, then turned to Wrex. “You heard her- looks like we’re after the same thing,” he said incredulously. “Seems like he’s got some information we need, too.” 

“They need to hurry up and get here,” Wrex said impatiently. “The longer we wait, the longer that fucker keeps breathing.” 

“She’s going to need a few minutes to find him,” John replied, glancing over at Alenko, who was staring at him while making sure to keep a safe distance away from the krogan. “I’m sure-”

“I don’t need any help finding him, kid,” Wrex replied, looking him over. “I just needed to see if I could trust you… you are C-Sec, after all.” 

John just laughed, realizing the bounty hunter had handily played him. “True. But this case my contact is working on is a lot more important than me stopping you from a bounty on a thug- if you can help her, more power to you.”

“You’re an interesting one, Shepard,” Wrex said approvingly. “Now it’s time to see if I like your contact as much as I like you.” 

“That depends,” John replied, giving the krogan an amused look. “Do you like brilliant people who have a fascination for heavy artillery, more balls than common sense, and a smart ass mouth to match?”

“Those are the best kind of people,” the krogan rumbled, slapping him on the shoulder- by now, John was sure he was doing it on purpose. “Stop worrying, Shepard- if they’re as fun as I’m picturing, then I’m sure we’re gonna get along just fine.” 


	6. To catch a quarian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew meet up to find the missing quarian

_ _

* * *

As they headed over to C-Sec, Garrus looked at his wife “You need armor,” he growled, taking in her now-dusty dress blues. She started to say something but he instantly cut her off, the adrenaline still coursing through his veins from the firefight. “This isn’t a negotiation, Jane.”

Jane opened and closed her mouth for a second, then stared at him. “You’re worried.” When his only response was to let out a thrum of irritation, she sighed, trying to smooth the flyaway strands back into her bun. “Look, I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I know that was reckless-”

“And stupid,” Garrus replied, staring ahead as they approached the C-Sec offices. However, as soon as the words left his lips, he knew he’d offended her- in an instant, Jane had stopped moving and he could hear her breaths coming in short, small bursts. Without a second thought, he pulled her between two buildings, taking his mate in his arms and resting his head on hers. A steady rumble rolled through him, a mixture of apology, frustration, and relief. “You scared me,” he whispered, trying to keep his voice steady. “I saw them shooting at you, and-” Garrus swallowed as he closed his eyes, not even wanting to say the words out loud. “I was scared I was going to lose you, Jane- you can’t do things like that to me.”

“Hate to break it to you, but that’s part of the job,” she said sadly, wrapping her hands around his back. “But I promise, you won’t lose me like that, big guy- I could only do something that crazy because I knew you had my back.” She pulled away for a moment to pat his cheek, then leaned up to give him a kiss. “Besides, I knew your pride wouldn’t be able to handle me taking out a room full of dudes by myself with nothing but a pistol.” 

“You have some work to do,” he murmured back, closing his eyes and letting out a thrum of shaky amusement as they left their impromptu hideaway. “I seem to remember _someone_ wasting quite a few shots back there- maybe you aren’t as good as I thought you were.” She poked him in the side, and he gave her a smug little grin. “If that’s how you _really_ shoot, then I think we can safely assume that I win our little ‘who’s the better shot’ debate.” 

“One, I was improvising, and two, it wasn’t my gun,” Jane growled as he led her into the offices. “That’s your fault, Vakarian- you souped-up the rate of fire on that thing!”

“Excuses, excuses,” Garrus teased, leading her to the lower levels and looking for his partner. When he spotted him standing next to the krogan with Alenko, he frowned- he was not pleased to see that the little man was still around, but he did delight in the look of mild terror that appeared on his face every time the krogan spoke. _I can’t wait to find out what happened here_ , Garrus thought, letting Jane walk ahead of him- he knew he’d be too tempted to snap at the irritating lieutenant otherwise. “Shepard,” he said calmly, glancing between his partner and the towering krogan, “care to explain why we’re all hanging around a krogan mercenary?”

John looked up at the giant, then back at Garrus and Jane. “Because _this_ is Urdnot Wrex,” he said proudly, slapping Wrex on the shoulder and earning himself a withering look from the krogan. True to form, Shepard appeared not to notice the death glare- he continued his speech unabated. “This guy knows where we can find Fist.” 

Jane just stared at the giant, her expression thoughtful as she looked him over. Garrus, however, did not trust the brute in the slightest- instead, he moved behind his wife and crossed his arms, ready to jump in at the slightest provocation. “Not that I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth,” she said slowly, turning to look at her brother, “But I _am_ curious as to why a mercenary would be willing to partner up with a C-Sec agent?”

“Because this guy has a bigger quad than anyone else in this room,” the krogan rumbled, giving Garrus a look of disdain. “Not too many humans that have enough nerve to go toe-to-toe with me… your little pyjack of a friend over here certainly didn’t.”

Garrus glanced over at Alenko and let out a hum of dismissal. _Not my friend_ , he thought, shifting his attention to the krogan. For a second, he thought he saw a smirk flicker across the krogan’s face, but it was gone before he could comment on it. Deciding it was best to get this whole endeavor over and done with as soon as possible, the turian sighed. “Where do we find Fist?” 

“Chora’s Den,” Wrex boomed, looking over at Jane, who hadn’t moved- she was still taking him in. “What’s the matter- are you scared, little human?” 

Jane just shook her head, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Not at all- I’m just wondering if I could leap on your shoulders,” she replied, looking him up and down. “I might need a running start, but I bet I could do it- it might be fun.” 

John smacked himself in the face, and Garrus let out a loud groan. “Jane,” he said warningly, forgetting himself for a moment as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “How about we worry about finding the bad guy and _not_ talk about riding the murderous krogan, ok?” John cleared his throat and shot him a look that immediately caused Garrus to move his hand. “The longer we sit around, the more danger that quarian is in- we need to get moving.” Then he glanced at his wife’s dirty uniform. “And we still need to get you some armor, Commander.” 

The krogan glanced at Garrus for a moment and smirked before turning back to Jane. “ _Commander_ , huh… I take it this little one is your sister, Shepard?” 

“‘Fraid so,” Shepard replied as they started walking out of the offices. “But she’s the best damn tech you’ll ever see and one hell of a shot- you need help, then she’s your man… well, woman, but you get the idea.” 

“Call me Jane,” she said, extending her tiny hand to the krogan. Instantly, all Garrus could see was a scenario where the giant crushed every bone in her arm, and he couldn’t help but let out a small thrum of nervousness. “Looks like we’re going to be working together, Wrex.”

The krogan shot him a look before turning to Jane and giving her a toothy grin. “No fear in you, huh?”

“Nope,” she said firmly, staring Wrex straight in the eye before shrugging nonchalantly, “Why would I be scared? I know I can take you, so…” 

The two men standing next to her went white as sheets while Garrus let out a trill of surprise- however, Wrex just gave a booming laugh and rested a meaty hand on her shoulder. “The little human has more quads than all of you!” Then he shot a look at Garrus before turning back to everyone. “Time to get this little varren some armor, boys- looks like we got a job to do!” 

_ _

* * *

“You know you gotta ditch Lt. Planko,” John hissed in Jane’s ear. “Wrex is gonna kill Fist once you get your information- you _really_ want the boy scout with you when he does?”

She stared at her brother, forcing herself not to laugh and encourage the man. “And yet somehow I don’t see _you_ being so concerned about this same thing, Mr. Officer of the law.”

“Your hubby and I have been trying to nail this guy for _years_ ,” John said darkly. “Always involved in shady shit, but protected as hell by the Shadow Broker.” He stared at Garrus, who just nodded- Wrex was walking with Cardboard, and the krogan appeared to be taking no small measure of delight in torturing the soldier. “Now that he’s gone ahead and bitten the hand that feeds him, _I’m_ certainly not willing to make Wrex an enemy over that waste of space.” Then he shot his partner a look before turning his attention back to his sister. “Now, if _you_ don’t mind sharing what’s making you go along with this plot, dear sister, I’d be _highly_ appreciative.” 

Jane glanced at Garrus, who quickly turned away. _I guess I deserved that one,_ she grumbled to herself, letting out a deep sigh as she smoothed her dirty uniform. “Well, we answered a distress call... it turns out Fist’s thugs were trying to kill a clinic doctor, so…” she let her voice trail off, hoping this would be enough to get her brother off her back. “You know.” 

“And your _sister_ decided it was best to antagonize the crew into a firefight,” Garrus snarked, glaring at her- Jane squirmed a little under his gaze. “And she decided that armor was optional… you know, such as frail and tiny humans often do when going against a hail of bullets.” 

“It wasn’t like I planned it,” Jane complained as she made her way to the Normandy. “I saw a problem and I solved it- end of discussion.” 

“Not by a long shot,” her husband grumbled, crossing his arms. “But we can discuss this at home- hurry up and go get changed, and leave that _package_ of yours behind.” 

“Fine,” Jane groused, walking forward and tapping the terrified-looking cardboard man on the shoulder. “Alenko, I need you to stay here and report back to Anderson on what we found- I’m going to go see what I can do about this Fist situation.” 

He followed her onto the ship, tagging behind her as she raced to the armory. “You need backup, Commander,” he said plainly. His eyes went wide as she started to strip out of her clothes, then he quickly began looking for anyplace else to put his eyes. “You can’t _possibly_ be thinking about going there alone!”

“But I'm not alone, remember?” Finally free of her uniform, Jane slid into her undersuit, mentally making a checklist of the gear she wanted to take with her- she didn't have time to browse for anything. “I got John, Wrex, and Vakarian with me- I’ll be fine.”

“More backup wouldn’t hurt,” he said softly as he leaned against the wall, carefully following her with his eyes as she crossed the room. “Your brother doesn’t even have his amp anymore, and-”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Jane interrupted with a smile, patting the man on the shoulder as she went to get her armor. “I’ll have him put it in right away.” As she stepped into her suit, she took a deep breath and looked up, giving the man the kindest smile she could muster. “I appreciate you looking out for me,” she said gently, “but you’re the closest one to this- I need you here as backup, Alenko,” she said as she finished up the seals on her gear and grabbed her weapon. “Help me by eliminating some of the fucking paperwork I’m going to have to go through later, ok?” 

Finally, Alenko nodded, and Jane grabbed the last of her gear and raced off the ship, happy to be away from him- the wooden man looked like he was a lost puppy being left on the side of the road, and Jane did not have time to sort through his feelings right now. She could’ve just ordered him to stay, but she knew that doing something like that would only start to breed discontent- _best to let people come to the right answer on their own,_ she thought as she made her way to the waiting group. _It usually causes less drama later on._

“Johnny, put your amp in- I got close-range fire and since Vakarian is a goddamn sniping machine-” her husband preened a little at that, and she shook her head to hide her smile, “I want you as back up and barriers- nothing gets through to us, understand?”

John glared at her as they set off. “First of all, unlike you, I’m not stupid,” he retorted. “There was no _way_ I was going up against a merc without having it in.” Jane widened her eyes at his statement- John had made it a point to keep his amp as far away from himself as possible, so for him to put it in meant he was taking no chances. “And secondly, you do realize my biotics are good for more than just being a giant fucking shield, right?” 

“Possibly,” Jane teased as they followed Wrex toward the club. “But maybe I just really like the light show you put on when you use them.” Then she turned to the krogan. “What’s your style, Wrex?” 

“If it moves, I kill it,” the mercenary rumbled. “I’m versatile like that.” She laughed, but Wrex just nodded. “Don’t worry- between me and pretty boy, you and your mate are covered, Shepard.” 

Jane blanched for a moment, then looked at the krogan. “Um,” she said, looking over to John to see if he knew how this had become a topic of discussion- his stunned expression told her that he was just as lost as she was. “What gave you the idea that I had-”

“While it’s fun to watch you try to come up with a lie, I do have an asshole to kill,” Wrex replied calmly, glancing over to Garrus, who let out an undignified chirp of surprise. “But to answer your question, I can smell you on the turian, Commander- hell, even if I _couldn’t_ , anyone can see that the boy’s so far up your ass I’m surprised you can still walk.” He looked at Jane and chuckled. “Next time you want to pull something over on someone that’s not human, you _might_ want to make sure you take a shower first.” 

Jane nodded, then furtively sniffed herself- she didn’t smell anything out of the ordinary. “Whatever,” she grumbled, feeling a heat creeping up her cheeks as the krogan continued to laugh. “Let’s just find this fucker and get this done.” 

“Now you’re talking,” Wrex said proudly, adjusting his gun. “Looking forward to seeing what you got, kid.” 

_ _

* * *

“So, are we gonna talk about that back there?” Jane asked as she ran up to John, staring at him with concern as he wiped away the blood that had begun to trickle from his nose. “That was… quite a show you put on, Johnny.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he said gruffly, hoping his sister would let it go- this was the first time he’d really used his biotics in years, and he was a bit rusty. Trying to do anything with his abilities was like opening the valve on a fire hose- he’d only meant to hold Fist’s guards in a neat little group while Janey and Vakarian picked them off, but instead, he’d sent all the furniture in the room together as well, resulting in some very surprised and very flattened men. “It was an accident- won’t happen again.” 

“It’s not _that_ ,” Jane said with a huff as she unlocked the door, staring at her brother intently- there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she was trying to figure out what was going on with him. “It’s just… Jesus H. Christ on crispy toast, Johnny, that’s a lot of power- when did you learn how to do shit like that?”

Though he had a smile on his face, John was exhausted- the last push to hold Fist still so Jane could get the information they needed out of him had pretty much drained him dry. However, he didn’t have it in him to tell her that- no matter how he felt, the mission was way too important. So, instead of telling her the truth, John turned away from her, running his hands through his curls and watching as Wrex and Vakarian tried their best to ignore the siblings. “Always could,” he replied softly as the door opened, exposing the red lights of the hallway before changing the subject. “Fist said the quarian should be meeting Saren’s lackey any minute. Goddamn bastard,” he muttered, clenching his fists together and gritting his teeth. “I’m really not sorry Wrex put a bullet in his brain.” 

“Me neither,” Jane said darkly, glancing back at her husband before continuing down the hall. Instead of even trying to rely on his biotics, John readied his pistol, hoping like hell that he wouldn’t have to get up close to anyone- in this state, he was more of a liability than anything else. “I got movement down here,” she said quietly. “Garrus, you’re up- what can you tell me?”

Her husband crept forward, pausing to listen for a second. “We’ve definitely got company,” he replied, making sure to keep his voice low. “I can hear our quarian, and I know we’ve got turians down here- my scanners pick up at least three.”

“Anything we can’t handle?” Jane asked quietly. When Garrus shook his head, she nodded and readied her gun. “Let’s go.” 

Racing down the hall, John watched as his partner shot one of the assassins in the head- he could’ve sworn he heard his sister mutter ‘showoff’ as she put another one down, leaving John and Wrex to tackle the turian lunging for the quarian. Feeling like he was moving through mud but knowing he couldn’t stop, John yanked out his pistol and fired at the turian- the shot went wild, pinging off one of the nearby walls, and the krogan snarled in frustration. “You know, another one of your crazy light shows might be helpful, Shepard!” Wrex growled as he grappled with the assailant. _“Like now!”_

Without a second thought, John gathered the last of his energy and lifted the turian into the air- in response, the krogan hoisted his weapon and put a bullet between the assassin's eyes. As the sudden exertion sent the room spinning, John could see his sister talking with the quarian, and John breathed a sigh of relief. _At least we got here in time_ , John thought as his vision started to blur and he crumpled to his knees. _That makes this all worthwhile._

As he pitched forward and fell into a stack of crates, John felt like the world was moving in slow motion- he could see spots at the edges of his vision as he listened to the sounds of his sister screaming his name. _Shit, these fuckers are never going to let me hear the end of this_ , he thought as the floor rushed to greet him. _But I guess it’s only fair._


	7. Deep Breaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John recovers in the medbay while Jane and Garrus fill Sol in on what's going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note, the last section is NSFW, so if you want to skip it, feel free- you'll get caught up next chapter.

_ _

* * *

Nihlus walked over to the medbay, where he saw the female soldier standing outside the door. _She looks agitated_ , he mused, watching her posture as she peeked inside the room ever so often, glaring at Jane and Garrus as they both sat next to the prone man on the cot before looking down at the floor again. _Strange- all the intel I gathered tells me that this one and Shepard twin aren’t mates- why does she appear to be invested in his recovery?_ Curious as to what was going on, Nihlus cleared his throat, causing the woman in front of him to startle. “I don’t mean to bother you,” he said simply, trying to keep his tone as casual as possible, “but you seem rather upset, Williams.” 

She glared at him for a moment, then sighed. “You can leave me alone now,” she muttered as she turned away from him, but not before he saw her tear-streaked face. “Don’t you have more important, Spectre-like things to do than bother the shit out of me?”

Nihlus just smiled, ignoring the venom in her tone. “I would, but since Saren technically killed me, I’ve been given an impromptu vacation. It’s actually been rather nice- I can’t say I’m looking forward to being declared alive again.” 

Despite her desire to be angry with him, the woman gave him a half-hearted smile. “You think that quarian’s information is good enough to nail that son of a bitch?”

Trying to be patient with the woman, Nihlus nodded, shifting his weight painfully. The meds the doctor had given him were good, but he still felt terrible- being out of the field for a while was certainly not the worst thing for him. “Thankfully, miss Tali’Zorra nar Rayya’s information is quite sound indeed,” Nihlus said, making a point to give the quarian’s full name- he needed Williams to know that Tali was worthy of a title beyond her species. “Hopefully, Jane’s meeting with the council will go according to plan.” 

However, at the mention of the commander’s name, Williams began to scowl. “It’s Commander Jane fucking Shepard- _everything_ goes fucking great for her,” she said bitterly. “Notice it’s not the _princess_ laid up in the medbay,” she hissed, turning to stare at Officer Shepard’s sleeping form. “She won’t have to, because everyone else lays down their damn lives for her!” The soldier let out a strangled scream, causing Jane and Garrus to turn their heads to the doorway, but Nihlus just offered a curt shake of his head and they went back to tending to John- meanwhile, Williams kicked the nearby wall in frustration. “I don’t understand why he always _does_ this!” 

Realizing that this was about more than just the soldier’s irritation with the Commander, NIhlus paused for a moment to gather his thoughts, then returned his attention to the agitated woman. “Can you excuse me for a moment, Williams?” 

Apparently, that wasn’t the response she was expecting- Williams just blinked at him. “Um, yeah,” she replied, rubbing the back of her head. “Why would I care what you do, anyway?” She stuck her hands in her pocket and walked down the hall, grumbling to herself as she moved past him.

 _Now I know something is going on with her and the officer_ , Nihlus thought as he walked into the medbay, clearing his throat as he stood behind Jane and Garrus. “How is he?” Nihlus asked quietly. “Any change?”

Garrus just glared at him, his sub-vocals loud and angry. “As if you care,” he grumbled, turning back to his mate. “If you’d just stood up and talked to the council yourself, he wouldn’t even _be_ here right now.”

Nihlus sighed, running his hand over the back of his fringe. “I appreciate everything Shepard has done in service of justice,” he said stiffly, not knowing just how he should deflect a scathing truth. “However, we cannot lose sight of the fact that the blame for all of this rests squarely on Saren- in fact, I view John and Tali’s suffering as even greater than mine since this was a cause neither of them asked to be a part of.” 

When neither Jane nor Garrus responded, the Spectre turned to the commander, who was clutching her brother’s hand. “You have a meeting in the morning,” Nihlus said gently, then looked at the turian next to her. “Do you think you can make sure your mate arrives on time? We may need your testimony as well, so I’d rather be prepared than risk delaying this meeting any further.” He smiled, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “I have to rest in the medbay tonight anyway, so I would be more than happy to watch over him and report any changes to his status. Besides, I’d prefer you both to be well-rested for tomorrow, but you certainly won’t get that rest sitting here.” 

He could see the indecision in Jane’s eyes- she wanted to go home and be with her mate, but she also wanted to be at her brother’s bedside. _Both are valid feelings_ , he thought, _but there’s someone outside that needs to be here, too_. Placing a hand on Jane’s shoulder, he looked her in the eye, working to keep his sub-vocals calm and reassuring. “I _promise_ , I will call you if anything changes,” Nihlus told her. “You know I won’t lie to you,” he said quietly, resisting the urge to brush away a hair that had fallen into her face. “Go home and get some sleep with your mate, Jane.” 

Garrus sighed, nodding as he gave an irritated thrum. “I suppose,” he said begrudgingly. “I want hourly reports from you or doctor Chakwas,” he muttered. “But he's got a point- we should probably go check on Sol, anyway.” 

Jane snapped her head up, still holding John’s hand. “Sol is still here?” 

Garrus nodded. “Afraid so- apparently, she’s planning on being Shepard’s roommate for a while,” he replied, letting a small smile cross his weary face. “With both of us gone, I'm willing to bet that girl is probably worried sick right now.”

Nihlus smiled and patted Jane on the back, watching as she sighed and folded her hands behind her neck. “Go be with your family,” he said softly. “We’ll take care of John for you.” 

After a few moments of silence, Jane finally nodded, getting up from the bedside and placing a kiss on his forehead. “I’ll be back to check on you in the morning,” she whispered. “But you better believe that I’m gonna kick your ass when this is all over, ok?” 

She gave her brother one last look as they walked out of the room, leaving Nihlus alone with the sleeping man. After waiting for a few moments, Nihlus headed back out to the hall. Just as he’d suspected, the young soldier was sitting a few feet away, her head buried in a datapad. “Williams,” he said softly, causing her head to snap toward him. “Would you like to come and sit with me while I look after officer Shepard?”

The soldier rose to her feet, eyeing him suspiciously. “I would… but why are you being so nice to me? Won’t your _girlfriend_ get mad about you for-” she made a strange symbol with her fingers, causing him to cock his head at her with interest, “-‘ _fraternizing with the enemy_ ’?”

Nihlus just laughed as they headed back down to the medbay, sending a message to Chakwas to keep an eye on Shepard while he got her mandated rest. “Firstly, your Commander is a friend and my student- anything else between us would be impossible. _Secondly_ ,” he said as they entered the room and he settled on the cot across from John, adjusting the pillow beneath his fringe and staring up at the ceiling, “to be an effective soldier, you need to have a quiet mind, Williams.” He turned his head to watch her settle into the seat, taking John’s hand inside her own before resting her head against the mattress. “However, your mind is loud and torrential,” he said softly, turning away and closing his eyes. “So if I can offer you a chance to find peace, even if only for a little while, I would be remiss to not do it.” 

As he suspected, the woman didn't respond- the only sound was the steady beep of the monitor and the soft rises and falls of their breaths. Nihlus listened as they started out as separate cadences, then eventually fell into the same rhythm, their soothing sounds lulling the Spectre into a strange state of calm as he drifted off to sleep. 

_ _

* * *

As soon as Jane opened the door to John’s apartment, she could hear a string of rumbles and curses erupting seemingly from nowhere. “Where the hell have you _been_ \- I have been going out of my mind here, you big jerk! I’ve been calling and calling-” Sol stomped into the hallway, thrusting her finger in Jane’s face. When she realized that it wasn’t John stumbling home in a drunken stupor, the turian backed up and let out a confused trill. “ _Jane_? What-” Solana then looked around and frowned when she didn’t see the other man come inside with them. “Wait, where’s Johnny?” 

Jane looked at Garrus, who let out a deep sigh. “Hey, Sol,” she said, hugging the worried-looking turian. “It’s good to see you.” She moved to the couch, gently moving the sleeping ball of fur and placing it in her lap as she sat down. “It’s been a very long day.” 

“That may be true, but you guys still haven’t answered my question,” Sol snapped as she entered the living room. “Where’s Johnny?” 

“In the medbay on the Normandy,” Garrus replied, plopping down next to Jane. “He overused his biotics and wiped himself out.” Sol let out a chirp and clapped her hand to her mouth, but Garrus just shook his head and closed his eyes, resting his head against the couch. “Calm down, Sol- he’s fine. That idiot hadn’t used his biotics in years, so the doctor has him sedated for a while so he can recover- nothing to worry about.”

“If it was nothing to worry about, then he wouldn’t still _be_ there,” Sol huffed, stomping off toward the terminal. “Screw this- I’m calling mom.” 

Garrus instantly opened his eyes, twisting his neck to stare at his sister. “Why would you do something like that? I just told you he’s fine!” 

“And I just told _you_ ,” Sol retorted, glaring at her brother, “if he’s in the medbay, then he is not fine! Just because you don’t give a crap about keeping people in the loop, that doesn’t mean everyone else thinks that way, Gar!” 

At that, Jane got up, placing the kitten down on the couch so she could go comfort the agitated turian. “I get it,” she said quietly, wrapping her arm around Sol and guiding her to a seat. “It’s hard not knowing what’s going on, huh?” 

Sol leaned her head against Jane and let out a soft trill. “We heard you got hurt,” she said softly. “Those two were supposed to tell me what happened when they met you out there today, but no one called me,” she said bitterly. “And now, Johnny’s hurt, and once again, no one bothered to tell me!” She glared at Garrus, then let out a soft keen as she buried her face in Jane’s side. “You guys are our family too,” Sol whispered, clutching Jane tightly. “Johnny understands- I just don’t know why this idiot doesn’t seem to get it!” 

“He does,” Jane replied, hugging the turian back. “It’s just… he didn’t want to worry you, Sol- he’s your big brother,” she said with a smile, sitting down next to the distraught turian. “It’s his job to try and protect you.” When Sol just chuffed, Jane chuckled. “I know it sucks- older brothers are worst sometimes.”

 _So are you,_ a voice nagged at the back of her head. _You never thought about calling her when you got back, so what does that make you?_ Dejected, she placed a hand on her shoulder and let out her own sigh. “And I guess that makes me a pretty shitty older sister- I should’ve checked in with you, too. So even though this is totally our fault, do you think you can forgive your fallible siblings for this egregious oversight this time?”

Sol gave a soft hum and leaned over, letting her mandible lightly brush Jane’s cheek. “I suppose you can get a pass this time,” she mumbled as she wrapped her arm around her. “But if you do it again, I will not be so understanding.” 

“Crystal clear,” Jane replied, letting out a deep yawn. “Man, I wish I still had clothes here,” she mumbled, looking longingly at the shower. “I _so_ want an unregulated shower, but I have no desire to wear any of my brother’s clothes- I know where that man has been, and I want no part of it.” 

The turian next to her laughed. “So go home, then- I don’t need a guardian.” 

_If Nihlus is to be believed, you just might,_ Jane thought darkly. _Saren… that fucker is a piece of work,_ she grumbled to herself. _If he’s willing to send assassins after a kid, then I can only imagine what he’s got in store for me._ “Actually, I think you might,” Jane replied, folding her hands together. “I know you want to stay with John, but until we get this taken care of, it might be safer if you aren’t associated with me, Sol- this guy we’re tracking is a sadistic bastard, and I’ll be _damned_ if I let something happen to you.” 

“Jane’s got a point,” Garrus said from the couch. “I’d feel better if you were home with Mom, Sol- might be safer to just deal with dad for a while.” 

“And you can go fuck your feelings,” Sol spat, crossing her arms and glowering at the two of them. “If I leave, who’s going to protect John?”

Jane glanced over at her husband, then let out a soft chuckle. “Um, the saying is ‘fuck your feelings’, Sol- I think you and Johnny have been spending too much time together.” Her sister shot her a dirty look, making Jane bite her lip to keep from laughing. “But just so you know, John is pretty fucking badass… even more so than I remembered,” Jane admitted. “He can handle this.” 

“If he could handle this,” Sol said, thrusting a finger at Jane, “then John would be at home right now.” She leaned back in the chair, her face stuck in that same determined expression that Jane instantly knew meant any further discussion was as pointless as pissing in the wind. “I’m staying until John tells me to go- in the meantime, you two can do whatever you want. If you’re hungry, there’s levo and dextro dinner in the fridge- John and I were supposed to have a game night tonight, but I see that plan is shot to oblivion.” Then her expression softened a little, and she gave Jane a soft hum. “Good night, and don’t take off in the morning without saying goodbye, ok?” 

“We won’t,” Jane promised, fighting to keep a straight face. “Love you, Sol.” 

“And I love you,” Sol replied, heading to the couch and grabbing the kitten. She started to head into the spare room, but stopped in the doorway and rested her hand on the frame. “Look, if you two promise not to get all disgusting about it, you can have my bed- Johnny got me a turian one so I wouldn’t have to sleep on that monstrosity you humans call a mattress, but I can take John’s bed. It sucks, but I can deal with it for a night.” 

Jane just blinked, staring at the two turians with confusion. “Just how much _have_ I missed around here?”

“A lot,” Garrus admitted, standing up and opening his mouth into a wide yawn before heading over to place a kiss on Jane’s cheek. “But… since Sol is offering up a proper bed, how about you heat up dinner while I head back to the house to get you some clothes?” 

“I’m just being a brat,” she replied, caressing his cheek with her hand. “You don’t have to leave- I won’t die if I don’t get a shower tonight.”

Garrus just laughed, his voice rich and deep as he leaned in closer to her ear. “But I just might,” he whispered, tracing his tongue around her earlobe. “I believe you started something earlier today, Mrs. Vakarian.” 

“Shepard-Vakarian,” Jane murmured, running her hand lightly along his mandible. “I think someone needs a course in listening properly.” 

Garrus laughed, letting out a deep, throaty rumble. “Then I think I better hurry up and get back here... because I’m looking forward to you teaching me.” 

_ _

* * *

“So,” Garrus asked casually, putting his plate away and glancing over his shoulder at his mate, “are you done yet?” He checked his omnitool, noting that Chakwas had indeed sent him a status report on Shepard, and he breathed a sigh of relief when everything looked fine. Secretly, he thanked the captain for allowing the doctor to communicate with him- he had no doubt that any other crew would have sent John to a Citadel hospital, but there wasn’t a chance that Anderson was letting the man he called his nephew out of his sight at a time like this. _Sometimes, it pays to have friends in high places… especially when there’s a lunatic out there that might possibly want to murder your mate._

Under normal circumstances, Garrus would have taken his time to enjoy his sister’s cooking. She’d spent hours under their mom in the kitchen, and her food tended to reflect this fact. Though he’d never tell her, Sol’s meals were often one of the reasons he didn’t mind his sister staying with him- it was also the reason he made it a point to be at Shepard’s while she was in residence. However, he could care less about the quality of the food in front of him- all he wanted was his wife, and she appeared to be eating her meal maddeningly slow on purpose. 

But when he saw her let out a yawn, he finally understood what was happening. Heading back over to the table, he leaned down and placed his chin on her shoulder. “Chakwas just messaged me,” he whispered. “John is doing absolutely fine- she’s just keeping him under the sedation because Anderson warned her about how much of an asshole he can be.” Jane chuckled, and he gently pulled the elastic out of her hair, letting the long dark strands fall around her shoulders. “Turns out John is the type to insist he’s fine way before his body is ready.”

Jane chuckled softly, and Garrus smiled as her shoulders visibly relaxed. “That sounds like John.”

“And before you ask,” he said quietly, lightly nipping her neck and making her grin, “I’ve already sent a copy of the message to Sol, so,” he murmured, offering her a hand and helping her up from her chair, “do you feel like getting ready for bed with me?”

“I better,” she replied, allowing him to guide her to the bathroom. “If I stay up any longer, I’m liable to pass out.” She looked at him with a teasing grin as she turned on the showerhead, slowly moving over to him. “Looks like someone was listening earlier.” 

“I always do,” he replied, undoing the buckles on his clothes and letting them slide to the floor, enjoying the steam rapidly surrounding them. “And I pay very close attention to you, Jane.”

She moved closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Do you?” 

"I do." He began to slide her shirt over her head, frowning at the tight black band around her breasts. “I hate these cages,” he grumbled, hooking a finger underneath it. “They hardly seem useful.” 

“That’s because I switched it up on you,” Jane said teasingly, thankfully removing the offensive piece of clothing before he ripped it off. “One doesn’t wear lingerie into a firefight, you know.” 

“Judging by what I saw today, you also don't wear your armor to a firefight,” Garrus snarked, lowering his lip plates to her bondmark. “I think we need to work on your priorities, Jane.” 

“Right now, my priorities are to get in that water with you,” she replied as she ran her fingers down his sides, gently gripping the sides of his waist as he slid off her pants and underwear in one smooth motion. “Still think I need to work on them?” 

“Not at all,” Garrus said quickly, lifting her up and taking her into the shower with him. As the water washed over them, he let out a soft purr as Jane wrapped her legs around his waist, clutching him tightly between her thighs. “I think you’re getting it now.” 

“Good,” she murmured, running her hands over his fringe as the water began to saturate her hair, sending small rivers of water along the sides of her face. “Because I’m exactly where I want to be.”

“I’m not,” he whispered, darting his tongue along her neck and flicking it over her mark. “And that’s a shame.” 

“Oh really?” Jane lifted her head, then snaked one hand to his face to caress his mandible as he pressed her against the wall, groaning as he felt his plates start to shift. “And where else would you like to be, dear husband?”

“Inside you,” he murmured, his face twitching in consternation when Jane let out a soft giggle. “Funny,” he said huffily, “I don’t recall saying anything amusing.” 

“Well, you did,” Jane said with a smile, pressing her lips to his before moving to his mandible, taking the tip into her mouth and sucking it gently. “But it’s why I love you.” 

He felt his cock twitch at the sensation and he growled, lowering his head to her neck and feeling her pulse racing beneath his tongue. “Say that again,” he replied, feeling himself pressing against her entrance. “I think I misheard you.” 

“I love you,” she said, pressing herself against him. “Even when you make cheesy sex jokes and act like an overprotective asshole that gets us busted by a nosy krogan, I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world.”

“And I love you,” Garrus replied, causing his wife to let out a gasp as he entered her. “Even when you rush into rooms with armed thugs wearing nothing but scraps of fabric, I still think you’re amazing.”

“Ok, you can stop talking now,” Jane said breathlessly, pressing her mouth to his and wrapping both hands around his neck. Chuckling to himself, he decided to oblige his wife with his silence. Gently, he darted in and out of her, feeling the delicate walls stretching to accommodate his length. _Spirits, I can't believe this is my life,_ he thought with a moan as he rolled his hips into her and giving an ecstatic trill as she clenched around his shaft, her warmth and wetness sending his nerves into overdrive as she gripped his fringe. _I wouldn’t trade this time with her for anything._

 _This is what we should be doing,_ Garrus thought as they moved together, voices blending as they each chased their releases amid the gentle pulses of water against their skin. _We should be enjoying our bonding in the middle of nowhere, not stealing moments in the middle of shootouts or hunting for evidence against rogue spectres._ He pressed his hand against her hip, moving her body against him and savoring the warmth of her skin against his plates. _But if this is how I have to have her, then I’ll take it,_ he thought as he climaxed, feeling her body spasming as she came apart in his arms, gasping for breath as rivulets of water streamed down her face. 

And as he looked at the woman in his arms, Garrus knew that despite the chaos of the day, he had spent the day exactly where he’d wanted to be. _For the chance to keep her safe, I’ll go into every battle without a single complaint,_ he mused as he ran his talons over her hair and dreading the moment he’d have to let her go. _Besides_ , he thought as he pressed his head to hers, unwilling to let a single moment he could spend touching her pass him by, _we both know a love like ours is worth traveling into hell for._


	8. Assembling the Crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus makes John an offer; Jane meets with the Council and presents her evidence against Saren

_ _

* * *

When John woke up, he felt like he’d just taken part in the mother of all drinking games… and lost. _I think I would officially like to curl up into a hole and die,_ he thought as he tried to figure out how to stop his brain from tap-dancing in his skull. Then, as the fog slowly began to lift from his vision, he frowned- the turian sitting across from him was decidedly not Vakarian. “ _You_ ,” he grumbled, leaning back against the cot and closing his eyes. “It would be you.” 

The Spectre just sighed, shifting from his position next to the bed. “I promised your sister that I would watch over you until they returned- they are meeting with the council today about the evidence Tali’Zorah nar Rayya found.” 

At the sound of the strange words, John’s eyes snapped open. “Tali-whosit whatsit?” He was pretty sure he hadn’t scrambled his brain cells that badly, but the words coming out of the turian’s mouth were practically gibberish. “Come again?” 

“The young quarian you rescued,” Nihlus said patiently, almost as if he were talking to a small child. “She should be back shortly- your sister and the captain invited her to stay and continue her pilgrimage with us if she wanted to. Considering the fact that Saren may be out for her blood after this meeting today, I think she made a wise choice.”

John sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m just glad she’s safe, considering I did the dummy and passed out back there.” 

NIhlus just stared at him. “You did well, Shepard- from what I hear, you did an admirable job, considering your amp was in a pitiful state and you are woefully out of practice. The doctor had to remove the one you had- there was no way you were going to be able to use it again.”

“Welp, I guess that’s that,” John mused, staring up at the ceiling. Though he didn’t want to admit it, the thought of not having the little device anymore saddened him- he had no desire to end up on the radar again by purchasing one from a merchant, nor did the idea of getting a black market amp appeal to him. But instead of dwelling on it, he gave a dismissive shrug. “Hey, at least I know I still got some amount of talent, right? Not like it was going to be much use taking reports and issuing citations, right?” 

“While that may be true,” Nihlus said casually, “I took the liberty of requisitioning you a newer model at my expense- seeing as you blew the old one doing me a favor, it was the least I could do. I would appreciate it if you went to see Alenko and got it hooked up as soon as possible- he is getting it calibrated for you as we speak.” 

Though John was pleased that the Spectre was replacing his gear, he knew there was more to the offer than plain goodwill- he had to have an angle. “What are you playing at, Kryik- there’s no way you’re just going to do me a solid like a spiky fairy godfather. So, out with it- what is it that you want?” 

The turian smiled at him. “Perceptive,” he mused, nodding with approval. “You seem to ask more questions than your sister, John- it’s a good trait to have.” 

John sat up, wincing as he tried to get his bearings. “That may be true, but you haven’t answered my question.”

“Quite right,” Nihlus agreed, getting to his feet and crossing his arms. “I want you on this mission,” he said simply. “One reason is I don’t trust Saren not to send spies back here to try and get to Jane through you, but the real reason is I think you are a formidable warrior, John Shepard- bastard though he is, Udina was right to consider you as a candidate.” 

“Aww, shucks,” John said, rolling his eyes. “What, if I had a set of boobs, would I have made the cut?”

“No,” Nihlus said flatly. “You didn’t make the cut because you have the attention span of a gnat and the emotional intelligence of a toddler.” 

John blinked- he definitely wasn’t expecting the Spectre to tell him anything like that. “Well… um.. I guess that’s fair,” he said gruffly, running his hands through his hair. “Damn… is it too late to go back to work today and forget all of this ever happened?” 

Nihlus rolled his eyes. “Yes. Enough frivolity, John- I need your answer. Like it or not, your sister is stronger with you- I’d prefer to see her keep her head in the game than to be worried about you every five seconds.” 

John raised an eyebrow, not really believing what he was hearing. “Well, if you’re worried about me, then I certainly hope you plan on recruiting Vakarian... because there is no way in _hell_ Janey’s not going to be constantly shitting a brick about that overgrown partner of mine.” 

“I hadn’t planned on it, no,” Nihlus said stiffly, glaring at John. “He is impressive with weaponry, but Jane is a good enough shot to manage without his skills. Also, seeing as Saren does not know her marital status, her mate would be safe from repercussions- I see no need to include him in the mission.” 

John scowled right back. “Um, how about the fact that the two of them make a kickass team? She moved like fucking _water_ with him, Kryik- it was almost like they’d served together before.” When the turian let out a huff, John didn’t flinch. “We’re a package deal, Kryik- where I go, he goes.”

The turian just stared at him with an expression he couldn’t read. “And how do you know he’s willing to just drop everything and do a mission that has absolutely nothing to do with him? You’re former Alliance- like it or not, I can see that you are still a soldier, Shepard. What about him? This mission would mean him risking his job _and_ his life- what reason could he possibly have to do that?”

“The same reason I do,” John shot back. “That woman you’re content to play chess with? She’s not just a soldier, Kryik-that’s my sister and I’d move heaven and fucking earth to keep her safe. But him? That’s her _mate_ ,” he spat, disgusted with the turian for even suggesting that his partner wouldn’t come. “He’d be on this bitch before the words even left your mouth if you told him he’d get the chance to look out for her.”

“Your sister doesn’t need protection from either of you,” Nihlus said blandly. “She is more than capable of handling herself.”

“A soldier needs a team she can trust,” John retorted. “Who the fuck do you think that is? Lt. Planko down there is about as interesting as socks, and Janey and Ash are liable to kill each other walking down the hall- do you really think they’re going to be the team that helps her take down this bastard?” He crossed his arms, not taking his eyes off the Spectre. “We’re the best option and you fucking know it, so stop being a pompous dick and make the call, Kryik.”

For a moment, neither of them moved or spoke- John had no intention of losing this fight, so he just stared down the Spectre, waiting for him to give in. Finally, seeing that this was a losing battle, the turian sighed and turned away. “Go get your amp from Alenko and I will,” Nihlus said irritably. “The sooner we get this squared away, the sooner we’ll be able to head out and catch this bastard.”

“On that, we both agree,” John said as he slid off the bed, working to keep himself steady. “Now that we’ve got that settled, I need you to hurry up and take me to this man, because I have no idea where I am and I’m pretty sure I have two women that are ready to murder me right about now.”  


_ _

* * *

Garrus stood outside the Council chambers with the young quarian, shifting anxiously from foot to foot while trying to not give the appearance he was a nervous wreck. _This is it,_ he thought as he worked to keep his sub-vocals under control. _Jane’s got all the evidence- they can’t ignore her this time._

“You seem nervous,” the voice next to him said as she leaned against the wall. “Is it normal for officers here to be this involved in a case like this?” 

He just chuckled, shaking his head as he made his way to the bench. “With Commander Shepard, I have no idea what counts as normal.” After glancing at the door for a moment, he returned his attention to his companion. “So, Miss Zorah-”

She giggled, a lighter sound than he thought she’d be capable of through her dark mask. “Tali is fine, Officer. I am aware that my name is difficult for humans.” 

Garrus just stared at her with amusement, then brought his hands to his face. “Funny, I thought I was turian- go figure.” 

Tali laughed even harder. “Don’t be difficult,” she admonished. “You know full well what I mean.” 

“I do,” Garrus agreed, settling back on the bench. “But it doesn’t mean I can’t tease you about it… Tali.” Glancing back at the closed door, he let out a sigh. “I wonder what’s going on in there.” 

“I hope they’re _destroying_ that bosh’tet,” Tali grumbled, rubbing her side angrily before plopping into the seat next to him. “He deserves to be dragged beneath the bottom of a skycar.” 

“Not disputing that at all,” Garrus replied, resting his head against the bench and staring off into the distance, absentmindedly adjusting his collar. “One thing’s for certain- I’ll be glad to see the Captain and Commander bring him down.” He waited for a response, but the girl remained quiet for so long that Garrus turned around, wondering what had caught her attention. “Are you all right, Tali?”

She nodded, then pointed to his neck. “Does the Commander know?” 

Garrus was confused, staring at Tali, unsure as to what she was referring to. _What, did I get shot and not know it?_ However, as soon as he touched his exposed neck, he closed his eyes. “Ah,” he said knowingly, instantly realizing what she was referring to. “You saw that?” Tali nodded, staring at him intently. Hoping to deflect, he just smiled. “Do you know what that is?” 

Tali cocked her head at him, and though he couldn’t tell what she looked like at the moment, her silence clearly said she was judging him for his question. “Of course I do,” she snapped, crossing her arms. “It’s a bondmark!” 

Unsure of how familiar the quarian was with turian expressions, Garrus fought back an amused twitch of his mandibles. “And how do you know that?” 

“Fleet and Flotilla, of course!” Tali let out a huff of irritation and Garrus smiled to himself- he might not like the spotlight being on him, but at least she was no longer focused on her ordeal. “ _Anyone_ who’s seen the movie knows what a bondmark is!”

“I take it you’re a fan,” Garrus replied, laughing as the girl nodded enthusiastically. Taking in her excitement, he couldn't resist teasing Tali a little. “Truth be told, it’s one of my favorite movies too- my mate and I watched it together on our first date.”

Tali let out a squeal of delight, then almost immediately remembered she was trying to get information from him. “Don’t change the subject,” she snapped, poking him in the shoulder. “You never answered my question.”

Now, he couldn’t help it- he let out a trill of amusement. “Why is that even important?”

“Because!” Tali huffed, crossing her arms. “It’s not fair to lead her on, officer- if you have a mate, you need to let her know!”

“Garrus is fine,” he replied, his mandibles twitching with delight. “Now, _why_ would you think that the commander needs to know about my mate? I wasn’t aware that my personal life came up during the firefight or crew debriefing.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Tali gave a soft sigh, shifting her focus to the door. “She likes you, Garrus- anyone can see that.”

Trying to avoid preening, Garrus just smiled. “What makes you think the Commander wouldn’t want something a little closer to home?” Then he shook his head. “And I don’t even know _why_ I’m humoring this- you’ve only known the woman for less than a day!”

The quarian huffed, poking him in the shoulder again. “I do have eyes, you know.”

Now fully enjoying himself, he leaned closer to her helmet. “I thought you did… now I’m not so sure.” 

“Quit being a Bosh’tet!” Tali snapped, hitting him as he started laughing even harder. “It’s not funny!”

“Hmmm… assaulting a C-Sec officer,” Garrus replied, letting an amused hum escape as he settled back on the bench. “You know, I think you should be lucky that I find it so funny, Tali.” 

“I dislike you,” she grumbled, crossing her arms. “You’re a mean turian.” 

“I’d like to think I’m pretty nice,” Garrus replied, enjoying the agitated groan from the quarian. He started to say something else, but his attention was diverted by the sound of a door opening. Immediately, all traces of laughter left his face, and he stood up straight, taking in the faces of the two quiet individuals walking out of the chamber. _Here we go,_ he thought, taking in the faces of the captain and his mate. _Now we find out if Jane made history._  


_ _

* * *

“My sister,” John said proudly, staring at Jane’s retreating form as she led the young quarian on the ship. “First human Spectre…. I’d say I can’t believe it, but…”

Vakarian clapped him on the shoulder. “Anderson believed it- he wouldn’t have given up the helm otherwise.” 

“I know,” John said quietly. “It’s just… Brainy Janey, commanding officer of the Normandy.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Never thought I’d see the day, is all.” 

“I knew she could do it,” Vakarian finished proudly, a pleased-sounding rumble passing over them as he smiled. “My mate, off on a mission to save the galaxy,” he murmured as they walked away, shaking his head. “And the two of us, stupid enough to go with her.” 

“Hey, I didn’t have to stick my neck out for you,” John replied, mentally making a checklist of all the things he’d need- it had been so long since he’d shipped out that he’d forgotten all his tricks. “You can stay here, you know- no one’s forcing you to go.”

If John had been a smarter man, the look his partner gave him would’ve shut him up on the spot. “That’s not happening,” Vakarian grumbled as they headed to John’s apartment. “You’re going to have to come up with another way to get rid of me, Shepard.” 

“Well, if the fact my sister thought that bringing a krogan mercenary onboard was a good idea didn’t turn you off, then I don’t know what to tell you,” John quipped. “Hell, I thought the cardboard man was going to piss himself when Wrex walked inside.”

The turian chuckled. “Now that alone was worth the dirty looks from your ex, Shepard.” He paused for a moment, then sighed. “What exactly are you planning to do about that- those two women are like a live grenade right now.” 

John shoved his hands in his pockets and pretended the ground had become fascinating. “Ignore it and hope it goes away?” 

“It’s far more likely to come flying at your head,” Vakarian replied, standing back as John pressed the button for his floor. “I can’t seem to recall a single instance where that’s ever gone well for anyone.” He cocked his head for a moment, then twitched his mandibles as they rode to his apartment. “Also, what are we going to do about Sol? She’s not going to be pleased about this… at all.” 

John paused, staring at the ceiling. “Probably not,” he agreed. “The best thing to do would be for her to go home, but if she won’t-” the turian let out a soft sort and John smiled, running his hand over his hair, “fine, _when_ she won’t… you could probably just let her stay at your place- not like you and Jane need it right now.” 

Vakarian nodded. “We can only hope she’s in a decent enough mood to listen- you know how she is.” Then he let out an amused-sounding rumble, shaking his head. “You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t tie you to the chair to keep you here- my sister seems to have taken a liking to you… spirits _knows_ why.” 

“Probably because of my perfectly charming personality,” John retorted as they got to his door. “After dealing with _you_ for so long, she probably almost had a heart attack when she realized brothers actually came with a personality.” 

He started to punch in the code, but before he could enter the second digit, the door slid open and a hand flew into his chest, sending him crashing into the turian behind him. _“Johnathan Alexander Shepard, where the fuck have you been!”_

Wheezing, he looked up at Vakarian with wide eyes- the turian behind him just shrugged. “ _Sol_ ,” he pleaded, staggering into the apartment and wondering if she was going to hit him again, “I was in the hospital-” 

“Save it!” Sol snapped. “I know what happened yesterday, no thanks to either of you! But you’ve been awake for hours,” she said pointedly, thrusting a finger into his chest hard enough to leave a bruise, “but I still haven’t heard from you! You guys are dealing with all kinds of craziness right now- just what am I supposed to think!”

“I could do with a little more thinking and a little less poking, Tiny,” John groused, rubbing his chest as he opened his closet, grabbing his old duffel from a forgotten corner. “Squishy human over here, remember?”

“I don’t care,” she grumbled. When he turned around, she was glaring at him with her arms crossed. “I was worried about you, John!” 

“Sol,” he said teasingly, dropping his bag and picking up the kitten that had wound itself around Vakarian’s feet, extending it in front of him. “You should probably calm down- you’re scaring the children.” 

In response, JC let out a humongous yawn.

Unamused, Sol took JC from John, then thwacked the man on the shoulder again. “Stop torturing my kitten, Johnny- I’m still mad at you!” 

“Oh yes, he’s terrified,” Vakarian said drolly, leaning against the wall. “I’m sure mom is just going to love that thing- me, I’m just going to love being away from it.” 

Pausing, Sol turned to the two of them, her brother’s odd phrasing catching her attention. “John... what’s he talking about?”

Now it was John’s turn to glare at Vakarian, who sat on the couch and looked at him- his expression seemed to say _‘you caused this- time to deal with it’_. “Sol,” John said gently, “your brother and I have been asked by the senior Spectre on board to accompany Jane on her mission, so…” he let his voice trail off and looked at the floor. “It’s probably best if you go home.” 

Sol just looked at them, her expression murderous. “So… you want _me_ … to go _home_ … when my _entire_ family is on a dangerous mission? My family has to _risk_ their lives and I’m just supposed to _toddle off like a good little girl_? What kind of sense does that make!” 

“Oh, Tiny,” John said, looking up to see her anxiety-ridden face and feeling like absolute shit for being the cause of it. “C’mere,” he whispered, reaching for the angry turian and wrapping her in his arms. “We’re gonna be fine, ok?” When she started to keen softly, wrapping her arms around him and burying her head in his shoulder, he began softly rubbing her back. “I promise when we’re done, I’m even gonna deal with being a goddamn baked potato and spend a few weeks on Palaven with you and Mom… how’s that sound?” 

Sol nodded and pulled back, staring as she held her fist out to him. “Promise?” 

John bumped his fist with hers, and they both mimed an explosion, earning a soft chuckle from Vakarian. “Look, I gotta get packed, but you need to pack up too- you and JC need to go stay at his place until you can get a ticket back to Palaven, ok? 

“Um, sure,” she said softly, shuffling from foot to foot. “I guess I can do that- might take me a little while, though.” 

Her brother cocked his head as John headed toward his bedroom to pack up his things. “Sol, you weren’t supposed to be here that long- how much stuff did you bring?”

From the bedroom, he could hear her angry-sounding rumble as he threw open his drawers and shoved his clothes in the duffel. “Not that it’s any of your _business_ , Gar, but I like to make myself at home! Plus, I have to pack up JC’s things,” she said irritably. “It’s going to be his first big move and I want it done right!” 

His partner let out a rumble that sounded suspiciously like a warning. “Sol, you _need_ to go home- I get you not wanting to deal with dad, but you _cannot_ stay here when we leave, ok?” 

“Fine!” Sol let out an exasperated trill as she and JC went into her room, slamming the door shut behind her. For a moment, neither of the men spoke, but when an irritated trill came from the bedroom, Vakarian sighed. “Well, that went about as well as could be expected,” John remarked, staring at the closed door and wincing at the crashing sounds coming from inside as Sol yanked luggage from the closet. “Is she going to be ok?” 

Vakarian sighed, then shrugged as he got to his feet. “I certainly hope so.”  


_ _

* * *

Jane sank into the empty chair in the cockpit, spinning herself around. “This shit doesn’t feel real,” she said softly, turning to the scruffy pilot. “Am I dreaming, Joker?” 

“Nah- if you were, I’d have a perfectly working body and you’d be all over me by now.” He gave her a devilish grin as she rolled her eyes. “Admit it, Jane- you know you can't keep me off your mind at night.” 

Trying and failing to hide the giggle bubbling up inside her, Jane just stared at Joker, her mouth agape as he waggled his eyebrows. “I swear to god, I hate you so much,” she said, laughing out loud as she spun around in the chair again. “Remind me why I haven’t punched you in the face after all these years?”

“Because you know you’d break me in two if you did,” he replied, folding his hands behind his head. “Who knew that Vrolik syndrome would be the only thing saving me from the murderous rage of one Brainy Janey?” Jane shook her head, but the pilot just smiled. “You got this,” he said softly, not looking at her. “I know I give you a lot of shit, but if I gotta fly under anyone, I’m happy to be doing it with you.” 

Jane blushed, then looked away. “You’re just saying that so I don’t prank you too badly out there.” 

Joker laughed. “Don’t need to- I got John to back me up now, remember?” He twisted to look at her, then his face went serious for a moment. “How bad do you think it’s going to be out there?”

“I can’t say,” Jane admitted. “I mean, I got Nihlus here, and he knows what he’s up against, but man... this guy is a piece of work.” She played with the hem of her shirt, then sighed. “I’m supposed to be the stone-faced badass, but I’m grasping at straws here, man.” 

Joker shrugged. “He might be some hotshot Spectre, but can he say that he’s got two turians, two crazy strong biotics, the first _human_ spectre, a quarian, a Krogan mercenary that might eat us all if we look at him sideways, and a kickass ship with the best pilot in the galaxy on his side?” He puffed up, shooting her a mischievous grin. “I think we win.”

“He does have an army of geth,” Jane reminded the pilot, smiling despite her nerves. “Might be a fight, Joker.”

“Easy,” Joker replied dismissively. “All we have to say is that he thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread, and Ash will rip him apart for us with her bare hands- problem solved.” 

Jane snorted, then shook her head. “I can’t believe Uncle David made me promise to keep her on board,” she grumbled, then kicked her boot on the armrest of Joker’s chair. “I even made sure to wear my good boots so I could get a great ass-print when I booted her ass off the ship.”

Joker shoved her foot off his chair, then scowled. “Anyone else, I’d be sure they were joking- with you, I can never be too sure, Janey.”

“That’s just how I like it,” she teased, sticking out her tongue at the pilot and laughing as he rolled his eyes at her. “Keeps everyone on their toes.” 

“That’s enough, you two,” John called out from the doorway, strolling inside and picking Jane up, then unceremoniously dropping her on the floor. “Sorry, but you were in my seat, Janey.”

She rubbed her ass, then glared at her brother. “You know, you can’t do that kind of thing around the crew, jackass- I’m the commanding officer around here.”

“Hey, we’re still at the dock,” John replied, settling himself into the seat and grinning at his friend. “I have a few more minutes of not being your underling, so let me torture you and enjoy it- it's my god-given right for signing up to do this lunatic shit with you.” 

“Spirits above, is he even going to be able to take orders?” Jane turned as a rich voice drawled from the doorway, making her heart leap into her throat as her husband walked inside the room, closing the door behind him. “Because the John Shepard _I_ know couldn’t seem to follow instructions if his life depended on it.” 

“Well out here, it does so I can,” John shot back. “And since we’re all on this bird together," he said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin before turning back to his partner, "then I guess you gotta call me John- it's gonna get too confusing otherwise.” 

“In that case, I guess you’ll have to call me Garrus,” the turian replied, his mandibles twitching in that way she loved so much. “The sacrifices we all have to make for efficiency.” 

“You’ll live,” Jane replied, feeling her heart warm as she got up from the floor and headed into her husband’s arms, leaning her head to his. “Missed you,” she whispered in his ear, placing a kiss on his cheek. 

“Oh get a fucking room,” Joker retorted, making gagging noises. “I was wondering how long this whole ‘I’m totally not banging the super-tall spiky thing in the room’ charade was going to last- guess I found out. On the bright side, you owe me twenty credits, John- pay up.” 

“Seriously, Janey, you couldn’t have waited until takeoff?” John scowled, then reached into his pocket to pay Joker. “I was _sure_ I could’ve won that one.”

“That’s not my fault- you should’ve known better than to take that bet,” Jane teased, resting her head against her husband’s shoulder. “Better luck next time.”


	9. Should I stay or should I go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solana packs up her stuff from John's house; Ash discusses her future on the Normandy with Jane

_ _

* * *

“All right,” Solana told JC, who was staring at her with curious green eyes as she tossed her clothes into the suitcase, “I don’t care what Gar says- I am _not_ going home!” She gave a small huff, turning back to the closet and tapping her talon on the frame. “Jane is reasonable,” she mused, letting a smile creep across her face. “She’s got two turians on board- Jane's going to need a medic that’s familiar with how we work… but if I came with them, I could help- it’d actually be a service!“

The more Sol thought about it, the more she liked the idea. Even though she had no desire to be at home with her dad trying to play matchmaker at every turn, she also wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of being all alone on the Citadel for who knows how long. _Life on a ship won’t be so bad,_ she reasoned. _Gar and John decided to go, and they’re going to be doing a lot more than I would… and Jane wouldn’t even have to pay me- I just want to help._

Gathering her things, Sol sighed and glanced at the room John had worked so hard to make comfortable for her. She glanced at the human mattress he’d shoved under the turian bed, finding herself smiling at the memory. Long ago, John had been on a call with her and she’d looked at him with surprise when she saw him laying down on the completely flat surface. When she said her fringe hurt just watching him lay like that, he’d simply teased her about being the softest spiky creature he knew. In response, Sol just laughed, telling John that she was perfectly happy in her wonderfully comfy bed, and it wasn't her fault he didn’t understand true comfort. 

However, after the disastrous date with Vartus Bromil her father had sent her on, Sol would’ve been willing to sleep on a bed of rocks to get away from another dinner like that. Even though he was from one of the elite families on Palaven, Vartus was the biggest asshole Sol had ever seen- all through the dinner, he kept hinting at how lucky she was that someone so worthy would be willing to be seen with her. After the third thinly-veiled hint he’d dropped before the appetizers were served, Sol had finally had enough- against her better judgment, she exasperatedly asked him why being forced to listen to him drone on and on about himself was such a great thing.

In response, the bastard had leaned in and sneered that since her brother had mated with a human, the Vakarians were practically laughingstocks- she’d be lucky if anyone else took enough pity on her to breed, let alone bond. _No one will ever love you_ , he sneered, running a talon along her cheek. _The least you could do is be a good lay._

Refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he’d upset her, Sol had slapped Vartus in the face and stormed out of the restaurant, unwilling to stay in his presence even a moment longer. Eager to wash the stink of her date off, she had raced home- however, instead of finding a measure of peace, she was greeted at the door by her dad, who proceeded to scream his head off about how ungrateful both his children were. At that, the keen in her chest finally broke free and Sol raced to her room, throwing herself on her bed. _I can’t do this anymore_ , she thought bitterly. _I’d rather be barefaced rather than live with someone like that._

But then, as if by magic, John had called her up to tell Sol about Jane’s upcoming departure. When he’d asked if she wanted to come to the Citadel to see Jane off, Sol jumped at the chance to get away from Palaven for a while, asking if she could stay with him while she was there. Not thinking she was serious, John just laughed, saying that she’d be miserable in his spare human bed. However, Sol was still stinging from Vartus’s words in her ears- she bitterly told John she’d be happy sleeping on a bed of nails if it got her away from Palaven. When he asked her what was wrong she’d deflected, telling him it was nothing- trying hiding her anxiety over her horrible evening, she began to make plans with John, shifting her focus to her upcoming trip. If he knew what she was doing, John never questioned it- instead, he just teased her lightly, allowing his conversation with Sol to fall into their normal rhythms and letting the stress from the day slowly fade away.

But when he brought her to the apartment, she’d went into the room to put down her bags and did a double-take when she saw the turian bed waiting for her in the middle of the room. _John_ , she’d asked, _what is that?_

He’d only shrugged, giving her that casual smile of his. _Didn’t want you bitching about a pinched fringe or something, so I called in a few favors- no big deal. Besides,_ he told her with a wicked gleam in his eyes, _I hear Janey loves your brother's bed- maybe when you leave, I’ll just commandeer it._

 _You’ll do no such thing_ , she retorted, racing into the room and flopping on the soft mattress. _This is all mine, thank you very much_.

To her surprise, the human launched himself across the room, landing squarely in the bed next to her. _Technically_ , he teased, playfully shoving her away from him as he tried to sprawl across the mattress, _this is my bed- it’s still my house, Tiny._

She’d told him to go away, but he’d only teased her even more, causing her to break out into chirps of laughter. Finally, when she couldn’t take anymore, she gave up trying to remove the pesty human and lay down next to him, shaking her head in disbelief at his brashness. _How in the world am I going to deal with living with you?_

Folding his arms behind his head, John had cut his eyes over to her. _You knew exactly how I was and you decided to come anyway, so out with it, Tiny- what’s got you worked up enough to think hanging with me is the better option?_

And in the quiet and safety of his apartment, John listened as Sol told him the story of what happened on her disastrous date, wrapping his arm around her when she began to keen. _Fuck that guy_ , he told her, squeezing her shoulders. _He’s a goddamn idiot and he’s damn lucky I wasn’t there._ Sol snorted and looked away, but John continued anyway. _Listen to me_ , he said firmly, waiting until she turned and stared at him, her mandibles wavering as she tried to calm herself down. _You’re fucking incredible, Tiny- don’t let that jackass make you think otherwise, cause I can’t imagine a world without that incredible laugh of yours, ok?_

She’d felt the blush creeping up her neck and tried to blow him off, but John wouldn’t let her. _You think I’m joking, but I’m being serious,_ he’d insisted. _Look, if someone wants to judge you over what your brother does and can’t be bothered to see how amazing you are, then it’s their loss, understand? And if my squishy ass can see it, then I’m pretty sure there’s some tall, dark, and spiky guy just around the corner just waiting on you to give him the time of day._

And though she’d pretended to ignore him, John stayed with her in bed for the rest of the evening, telling her stories about his childhood and gradually shoving Vartus’s words out of her mind until she fell asleep, making her first night in the apartment a restful one. 

Now as she stared at the bed, Sol let out a sad little chirp. _I don’t want this to end,_ she thought wistfully as she scooped up the kitten and placed him into his carrier, turning off the lights as she left out the door. _For the first time in a long time, I finally feel like I belong somewhere._

_ _

* * *

As she waited for Wrex to make his way on board, Jane headed over to speak to Tali. The quarian was young, but she seemed determined to help, and Jane could respect that. According to Garrus, she had quickly made her way over to engineering, so Jane headed down to the engineering and storage levels, only to be joined by Ashley on the elevator. _Oh, for fuck’s sake,_ Jane thought to herself, trying to keep her expression neutral, _can I at least get off the goddamn ground without fighting with this woman?_

“Commander,” Ash said stiffly, making a point to stand as far away from Jane as possible and stare at the elevator doors, “congratulations on your new position.” 

Jane blinked, then nodded- she had no idea where this was going, and she was unsure as to how one dealt with Ashley Williams when she wasn’t kicking dirt in her face. “Thank you, Williams.”

Ash remained silent for a moment, then blew out a deep breath before turning toward Jane. “Permission to speak freely, ma’am?” 

_Welp, this is more familiar,_ Jane thought, gritting her teeth in anticipation. “Speak freely, Williams.” 

“You don’t like me and I don’t like you,” she began, making Jane raise her eyebrows- Ash hadn’t wasted any time mincing words. When Jane didn’t respond right away she frowned, putting her hands on her hips and looking at the floor. “So, since we both know you don’t want me around, why haven’t you kicked me off the ship?” 

_Oh_. “Do you want to leave the Normandy?” Jane asked, genuinely curious and slightly hopeful- if the woman decided to leave on her own accord, she’d be in the clear with Uncle David. “No one is forcing you to be here, Ash.” 

Ash sighed as the elevator doors opened, heading over to the workbenches. “No,” she said finally, resting her palms on the tabletop. “I don’t want to leave,” she said firmly. “I want to help catch the bastard who got my team killed- everything else can wait.” When Ash looked up at Jane, her dark brown eyes were hard and serious. “I _need_ to take him down,” she spat, her fingers clenching into fists. “And if that means I gotta kiss your ass for a little while to do it, so be it. Don’t kick me off,” she said, her voice shaking slightly. “I’ll do what you need out there… just let me stay, ok?” 

_Fuck_ , Jane thought with a sigh, smoothing her hair and turning toward the Mako, _that wasn't what I was expecting at all._ “I wasn’t kicking you off, Williams- Anderson already asked me to let you stay. No ass-kissing is necessary- all I ask is that you try to keep your mouth shut and kick ass out there when I need you too.” 

“Thank you,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief and letting her shoulders relax a little. Jane had no idea how long this modicum of peace was going to last, but she’d be damned if she didn’t take advantage- she had a ship to run and if Ash was willing to shut the fuck up for five minutes, she’d take it. “That means a lot.” Jane nodded and started to walk away, but Ash stopped her. “Before you go, can I ask you another question?” 

Jane paused, feeling her hackles starting to rise again. “That depends,” Jane said evenly. “Is it going to piss me off?”

“Not sure,” Ash said slowly, “but I’m serving on this ship, so I’d be stupid to not ask a question that pertains to security, Commander.” Her interest somewhat piqued, Jane turned back to the woman and inclined her head, indicating for her to go on. “Well,” she said slowly, “it’s about all the aliens we have onboard… are you _sure_ it’s a good idea to let them walk around freely like this?”

 _And there it goes,_ Jane thought as she closed her eyes, trying to keep her fists at her sides. “Have any of our guests been disrespectful or rude to you?”

Ash shook her head. “No, but-”

Jane didn’t let her finish. “Has any of them done anything that would cause you to view them as a security risk?” 

“No, but-”

“That’s because those _aliens_ are a _spectre_ and our _allies_ ,” Jane said irritably, fighting the urge to pinch her nose. “And we will treat them with the _utmost_ respect… is that clear?” 

Finally getting the hint, Ash let out a sigh, hanging her head for a moment before staring up at the ceiling. “Yes, Commander.” 

Grumbling to herself, Jane took a deep breath and closed her eyes- she had quickly concluded that there was never going to be a fucking scenario on this or any world where she wasn’t going to want to dropkick the woman in the throat. After a moment, Jane gave Ash a curt nod of her head. “Dismissed- we’ll be taking off shortly.” 

Trying to calm herself down, Jane walked off- she desperately needed to find someone to talk to that she didn’t immediately want to kill.

_ _

* * *

“But I _have_ to get on this ship,” Sol pleaded, staring in disbelief at the young man holding the datapad. “My _family_ is on here!” 

The young man smiled politely, but he didn’t budge. “I’m sorry,” he replied, “but your name is not on the manifest- I can’t let you on board.” 

“ _But_ …” Sol looked up and tapped her foot anxiously, not wanting to get Jane or Garrus in trouble but not seeing a way out of this otherwise. “But Commander Shepard is my _sister_ \- you have to let me see her!” 

Stunned, the man at the door just stared at her with disbelief. “ _You_ … _You’re_ Commander Shepard’s sister?” He smiled again, then shrugged apologetically. “Look, I know you’re trying to get a ride, but this is an Alliance vehicle, ma’am- I can’t just let you on.” 

“But-” Sol kicked a nearby piece of debris, letting out an irritated rumble. “ _UGH!_ ” 

Suddenly, a booming laugh came from behind her, and Sol jerked her head up at the sound. “You causing trouble over here, pyjack?”

“Who are you calling a pyjack, you…” She turned around, only to find the humongous red krogan staring at her, and the words died in her throat. “… _krogan_ ,” she finished weakly, craning her neck up to see him and feeling like she was in an incredibly bad position right now. “You can leave,” she said huffily, trying to mimic her brother’s carefree tone. “I have this under control.” 

“Really?” The red krogan let out a rumbling laugh, then crossed his arms and sniffed. “Cause from where I’m standing, the only thing you got under control is your luggage… _Vakarian_.” 

Startled by the use of her name, Sol swallowed and shifted her weight from foot to foot, a nervous thrum escaping her throat as JC let out a soft meow from his carrier. “How do you know my name?” 

The krogan laughed. “I can smell you, Vakarian- your scent is different, but there are hints of John Shepard and your brother all over you.” Sol grimaced, but the krogan just chuckled and continued. “Plus, only a Vakarian would be able to claim relation to the Commander, and seeing as your brother is already on board…” He peered into her face and Sol did her best to stand still, the only thing betraying her nerves were her fluttering mandibles. “Hmmm… maybe you are related to her- you’ve got some quads trying to barge onto an Alliance ship like that, little turian.”

“I need to get on to see Jane,” she replied, looking the old krogan in the eye and trying to keep her voice steady. “I want to go with them- she’s a Spectre, so I know she’d do it…” 

The krogan just stared at her, a smile creeping across his face. “That’s your sister- you know her contact information.” He leaned in a little and crossed his arms. “Why didn’t you just call her?”

Sol shifted uncomfortably, staring down at the cat carrier as if it was fascinating. “Because-”

“Because you didn’t want her to tell you no,” he finished for her. “Or worse, tell your brothers on you… right?” 

Sol scowled, reaching her finger inside the carrier- there was no way she was admitting just how right the old krogan was. “Who are you, anyway? Why do you care?” 

“Just consider me an interested party,” he replied. “Urdnot Wrex… Krogan battlemaster and mercenary who’s actually been _invited_ to board the Normandy, unlike you.” He shifted, then stared at her. “What’s your name, little turian?” 

“Solana Vakarian,” she said firmly. “Medical assistant and sister to the Shepards and Garrus Vakarian.” She glared at the man at the door, who was ushering packages inside. “I don’t care what that idiot says,” Sol growled. “I _need_ to get on this ship!”

“If you were able to stay, what purpose would you serve?” Wrex asked, glancing over her. “Can you shoot?”

“Well yeah, but I’m not a soldier,” Sol said feebly, playing with the hem of her shirt. “Dad taught me how to do it, but I never really liked it.” 

“Oh, so you’re not a soldier- you won’t be any help in battle,” Wrex rumbled, glancing over at the ship. “Well- we are on a ship, and you seem strong enough to hold a wrench. Are you a mechanic?”

“No,” Sol said glumly, getting a feeling as to where this conversation was going. “Look, I can be useful, ok? There are two turians on that ship, and I know turian medicine. And I can cook dextro food- how many humans besides Jane can do that? I can _help_ ,” she pleaded. “And I’m sure I can convince Jane to let me do it- I just need to see her!”

“You seem pretty sure about that, little turian,” Wrex rumbled. “What happens if she turns you down?” 

“She won’t,” Sol said quickly. “She _can’t_ ,” she muttered, letting out a nervous chirp. “I need to be on this ship with them… I can’t go back home.” 

“You could always stay here,” Wrex replied, glancing down at JC’s carrier with interest. “Citadel’s a pretty big place… easy to get lost and make your own way if you want.” 

“Not when your dad is C-Sec,” Sol said glumly, grimacing at the thought. “I’d be hauled off in the dead of night if I’m lucky.” 

Wrex chuckled. “And if you’re unlucky?”

“I’d have to see my dad first,” she replied, hanging her head and giving a sad twitch of her mandibles. “Trust me, I’d rather hide out in a box and sneak on board this ship than do that.”

The krogan just looked at her, then clapped her on the shoulder. “Put that bag on your suitcase.” She looked at the bag, then at JC’s container, unsure as to what she should do. “Give me the creature you’re smuggling,” he said, taking the carrier from her. “Now, carry my bag.” 

Curious but not willing to turn down a possible opportunity to talk to Jane, she did as she was told, grunting with effort as she wheeled the heavy bag down toward the ship. “Sheesh, what do you have in here,” Sol exclaimed, her mandibles twitching wildly as she struggled to carry the heavy bag. “It weighs a _ton_!”

“The necessities,” Wrex replied simply, continuing toward the irritating man with the datapad. “Follow me, little turian.” 

Sol dutifully followed behind the krogan, keeping quiet when he stopped in front of the guide. “Urdrot Wrex,” he boomed. “I’m supposed to be on this ship.” 

At the sound of Wrex’s voice, the poor man almost dropped his datapad- if Sol hadn’t been so angry at him, she would’ve felt sorry for him. “Um… you can go ahead… but she can’t go on- she’s not clear to board... _sir_.”

“She’s my assistant,” he rumbled, leaning down toward the man and flaring his nostrils. “Where I go, she goes.” 

The man was shaking- Sol could hear the datapad rattling against his fingers. “But-”

“You got a problem with me?” Wrex said menacingly, letting out a low growl. “Shepard told me to grab my gear- _that’s_ my gear-” he pointed to Sol and the heavy bag. “You got an issue with it, you take it up with Shepard.” Then he gave a threatening smile, cracking his knuckles and rolling his neck. “That is... unless you’d like to take it up with me- haven’t fought a decent human yet… but if you’re challenging me, this might be fun.” 

“ _NO!_ ” The man jerked back, gesturing toward the ship. “ _You_ …you can just go talk to the Commander,” he said shakily, glancing at Sol with wide eyes. Despite the weight of the bag, Sol was unable to help herself- she smiled and gave the man a shrug. “I don’t want any more trouble,” he pleaded. “Just _please_ … go away…” 

“Happy to,” Wrex rumbled. “Come on, little turian,” he said, grabbing the bag from Sol and hoisting it over his shoulder as if it weighed nothing at all as they walked into the storage bays. “I think it’s time to get you to your sister.” 


	10. Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sol and Wrex board the Normandy; Garrus finds his room

_ _

* * *

For the sake of humanity, Jane decided to walk away from Ash- dealing with the woman’s shitty attitude was taking a toll on her nerves, and she wanted nothing more than to get away from her before she leaped over the workbench and strangled her with her own gun. _Be reasonable_ , Jane grumbled, taking a deep breath. _You can’t murder one of your crewmembers on your first day as the commanding officer- it’s not a good look._

When she heard the doors slide open, Jane let out a sigh of relief- the old krogan had agreed to accompany them on their mission, and she was more than happy to get the help. _Hell, we all know I won’t be taking Williams out with me if I can help it- maybe Nih can deal with the bitch without wanting to scratch her eyes out, but I can’t._ However, when she heard Ash screech “ _Are you fucking kidding me?”_ Jane had to pause, trying to figure out just how she could get away with murdering the soldier and hiding her body. 

“Williams,” she said carefully, “I’d watch your tone if I were you.” Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Jane turned around and forced a smile on her face. “Wrex,” she said brightly, “how are you-” But before she could finish her sentence, she heard a soft chirp coming from behind the krogan- instantly, she realized what Ash had been screaming about. “Sol,” she said quietly, trying to keep her cool as she noticed the luggage the turian was carrying, “what are you doing here?” 

“Um,” she said quietly, looking down at the floor and shuffling her feet before moving further behind Wrex. “I was wondering… if you wouldn’t mind…”

“Spit it out, little turian,” Wrex boomed, shoving her forward and making her stumble in front of him. “You weren’t shy outside- why start now?”

Nodding, Sol twitched her mandibles and took a deep breath. “Jane… I want to come with you,” she said quickly, raising her bright blue eyes to hers. “I want to help out on the ship… like Gar and John.” 

Jane just looked at Sol, unable to believe the words that had just come from her mouth. She tried to say something, but every time she did, her brain short-circuited a little and the words died on her tongue. _This… this is not happening,_ she thought, finally finding her voice when she heard a tiny meow emerge from her sister’s belongings- instantly, her eye began to twitch. “Sol… this is a ship,” she said pointedly, pressing her hands to her temples. “I am on a _mission_ … to chase down a _Spectre_. This is not a trip to the grocery store to pick up a cup of milk- you can’t just pop up and decide to come along!” 

“ _Seriously?”_ Ashley spat, gesturing furiously at Sol, “What the fuck is wrong with you, Jane? Are you trying to replace the whole damn crew with aliens or something?”

“ _Hey!”_ Sol yelled, whirling around to point a finger at the fuming woman. “Who do you think you are? You can’t talk to my sister like that- she’s in charge of this ship, remember!” 

“Your _sister?”_ Ash squawked, turning a blazing shade of red before turning to Jane. “Cut the shit, turian,” she snapped, her eyes narrowing into slits. “I swear, you guys will say anything to-”

“Ashley,” Jane said warningly, trying to keep her composure and stop this situation from devolving into a three-ring circus, “stand down… _now!_ ” 

“I will _not!_ ” Ashley howled, getting in Sol’s face and thrusting a finger at the woman, coming dangerously close to poking her in the head. “I signed up to serve the _Alliance_ , not the hierarchy, so get her the fuck off our ship!” 

“Hey, the door’s right there,” Wrex rumbled, moving in front of Sol and nodding toward the closing cargo doors. “You got a problem with how Shepard runs it, don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out." Ashley snorted, but Wrex leaned in her face, causing the soldier to swallow nervously. "And if you even _think_ about touching the little one, then you and _I_ are going to have a problem, understand?” When Ash gave a curt nod, Wrex turned to Jane, crossing his arms. “The turian says she’s a medic, Shepard,” he said, glancing back at Sol. “That true?”  
  
Jane just blinked, her mind reeling from the fight that had just broken out in less than a minute- considering she hadn’t started it, that had to be a record. “Uh, yeah,” she said warily, glaring at her sister, who had picked up the carrier and was shooting Ashley a death glare, her sub-vocals rumbling angrily. “So what?”

“So? Send her upstairs with Chakwas,” he replied. “Doc could use some extra hands- might not hurt to have a set that knows how these guys fit together.” He glanced over at Sol, who gave him a grateful look. “Hell, seeing how you guys handle fights, I can’t see her staying idle too long.”

“Why? If they get hurt, they get hurt,” Ash spat, crossing her arms and glaring right back at Sol. “If it was one of us that needed a medic, I bet they wouldn’t give a shit.” 

“ _Spirits_ , how did John ever deal with you!” Sol exclaimed, tossing her hands in the air. “I’ve known you for all of five seconds and _I_ dislike you- if I had to marry you, I would have killed myself by now!” 

Despite her anger, Jane had to turn around to keep from laughing- Sol wasn’t wrong on that one. “Sol,” she replied, trying to keep her voice even, “I love you dearly, but be honest- are you capable of being anything more than a pain in my ass right now?” 

Sol let out a huff. “I’ve done my service,” she said flatly. “I’m trained in turian field medicine- if I say I can help, I can help.” 

_I’m going to regret this,_ Jane thought as she put her head in her hands. “Then go see Chakwas,” she replied angrily. “If she says she can use you, you can stay- if not, I’m calling Mom to figure out how to hogtie your ass and ship you back to Palaven before you can let out a goddamn chirp, understand?” 

Sol just stared at her, her face falling more and more by the minute- instantly, Jane had to fight the urge to rush over to the girl and hug her. “But Jane-” 

“No buts,” Jane snapped, trying to stay firm. “Like I said, I love you, but what you just pulled was dangerous and stupid!" The turian winced, but Jane didn't budge. "We’re headed out on a mission, Sol- this isn’t a pleasure cruise! And _you_ -” she pointed at Wrex, who was leaning against a storage crate with an amused look on his face, “-are responsible for her,“ she said irritably. “This whole thing is your fault, old man.” 

Wrex just shrugged. “Worth it,” he replied, glancing over at Sol as he guided her to the elevator. “C’mon- let’s go get the doctor to bless your skills so your sister can stop pissing a bitch around here.” As they left, he glared at Ashley- the soldier just stared right back. “Who knows, you might be more useful than that one.”

When the doors closed, Ashley let out an angry little huff, causing Jane to whirl around on her. “And you _will_ treat her with respect, Williams,” she barked, making Ash jump at the sudden noise. “That is my goddamn _family_ \- if I hear you say another fucking word about her, I will _personally_ make it so you don’t ever speak another one, do you understand me?” 

Ash just stared at her in disbelief. “No fucking way,” she said, leaning against the table and staring at Jane. “You’re fucking the turian upstairs- that’s _his_ sister, isn’t it?”

No longer giving a shit about who knew what and having the mother of all headaches, Jane just stared at Ashley. “Yep, sure am,” she said proudly, locking eyes with the woman. “Been riding that dick since before I even knew about the Normandy.” She fought back a smirk as the woman in front of her shuddered, taking a step back as Jane moved closer. “But it didn’t stop me from saving your ass, and it didn’t stop me from getting the info that’s going to catch that sonofabitch that killed your team,” Jane retorted, leaning her face inches away from Ashley’s. “So… is what I do on my own time going to be a problem _now_ , Williams?”

Ash closed her eyes and Jane took a step back, crossing her arms and rocking back on her heels as the soldier let out a sigh, turning back toward the workbench. “No,” she replied through gritted teeth, “It’s not a problem at all… _commander_.” 

_ _

* * *

Garrus was looking around the ship, trying to find his room. John had moved his belongings to the crew bunks, but Jane had told him to bring his stuff to the captain’s quarters. Teasingly, he’d asked her if this meant she was turning over command to him, but she’d only laughed, telling him to stop bothering her before she made him sleep in the garage. He'd decided that discretion was the better part of valor and left the matter alone, chatting with John and Joker and listening to their stories while Jane made her rounds with the rest of the crew. 

Realizing that Jane was probably going to be busy for a while, Garrus decided to make his way to their room with his bag, humming a song to himself as he waited for the elevator to arrive. _This wasn’t the way I pictured spending my bonding, but I’m not complaining- she's here with me... that's all that counts._

Suddenly, he heard a throat clear next to him, causing him to look up- it was Alenko, staring at him with a confused look on his face. Garrus was surprised at his appearance, but he just took it at face value- he had been hiding in the cockpit for a while with John and Joker, so the lieutenant might not have realized he’d made it on board yet. “Evening,” he said politely, trying to make casual conversation. “Are you ready to get started out here?”

“Yeah,” Alenko said stiffly, avoiding his gaze as he looked around the room, finally settling his gaze on a point just beyond Garrus’s head. “Pardon me, but do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Unsure of where this was going, Garrus nodded. “Sure.” 

The lieutenant pointed a finger down the hall, then looked back at him. “You do know that the crew quarters are that way, right?”

Garrus nodded, suddenly realizing just what was making the man so uncomfortable. “Yeah,” he said casually, rocking back and forth on his heels. “John is staying down there with Joker- says it’s going to be just like the old days.” He laughed, knowing full well this wasn’t the reason why Alenko was asking him the question. “Thanks for letting me know, though.”

“Well,” Alenko continued, reaching a hand out to rest against the frame of the elevator, “this leads to the captain’s quarters, and I think that room is already taken.” 

Trying his best to be cordial and not instantly start screaming at the man, Garrus smiled politely. “Thank you for the information- it saves me the trouble of looking it up on the map.” 

Alenko smiled again, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Maybe you can save the explorations for later,” he said politely. “I’m pretty sure you’ll want your own space, right? Might want to go claim your room- who knows who else we’re going to pick up along the way.” 

Fighting every urge in his body that was telling him to hurl the man down the hall, Garrus just smiled as he got on the elevator- to his dismay, the lieutenant decided to follow him. “I can understand that,” he said as he punched the button for the captain’s quarters, hoping the man would just get the hint and leave him alone- he didn’t want to cause any problems for Jane. “I’m sure I can find my way from here,” Garrus told Alenko, holding the door open so the man could get out. Finally, he cocked his head, staring at the man with mock concern. “Was there something you needed in the captain’s room, lieutenant?” 

Alenko blushed, then shook his head furiously. “No, but-” 

“Oh good,” Garrus replied, still staring at the man and waiting on him to get out of the elevator. “Because I should really get in there and put away my stuff now- this bag is getting kind of heavy.” 

Alenko’s jaw just dropped. “But-” 

Garrus just stared and smiled, taking note of the exact moment understanding crossed the lieutenant’s face. “Exactly.” He gave the man a polite little wave as Alenko staggered out of the elevator, smiling broadly as the elevator doors closed on the dumbfounded man in the hall.

_ _

* * *

“Why are you helping me?” Sol asked curiously, staring up at the krogan. Just as he said he would, Wrex had taken her to Doctor Chakwas- the kindly older human had been more than happy to have her on board, even joking that she could’ve used her help a few days ago. As it was, she had told her to find her in the morning so she could help her perform the follow-up exam. Sol wasn’t stupid- she knew it was a test, but she was so eager to prove to Jane that she could do the job that she hadn’t complained at all. “You don’t know me, Wrex- what’s in this for you?” 

Wrex just shrugged, carrying her luggage into the room next to medbay. “That’s my business,” he rumbled, setting down the bags and typing something on his omnitool. “Right now, it’s enough to see the look on your brother’s faces when they realize you’ve burrowed onto this ship like an untrained varren- anything else is a bonus.” 

Sol sighed, settling down on the hard human mattress. “Jane is mad at me,” she said glumly, letting JC out of his carrier once Wrex had closed the door. “I expected Gar to be mad… but not Janey.” 

“Why wouldn’t she be mad? You’re the little sister- it’s her job to protect you,” Wrex replied, leaning against the doorframe and watching the kitten walk around the room with interest. “You getting into a pissing match with the soldier down there put her in a bad spot, little one.”

“I wasn’t trying to,” she replied, scooping up the kitten and letting out a purr of her own as JC nuzzled her mandible. “I just wanted to help.” 

“No, you wanted to run,” Wrex replied, walking over and staring at the kitten in her hands. “If you’d really only wanted to help, you would’ve asked her first.” Sol thrummed dismissively, but Wrex just chuckled, his booming voice echoing off the metal walls. “Out with it, little one- what are you running from?” 

Sol just scowled, staring at the mattress and letting out an exasperated sigh. “It doesn’t matter.” 

Wrex just nodded, heading back over to the door. “Might want to share with the one who’s saving your ass,” he said casually as he opened the door. “Or Shepard… your choice.” 

“Thanks,” she said, staring up at him as he stood in the doorway. “I mean, you got me on the ship and helped with Janey… that was really nice of you, Wrex.” 

“Don’t go saying shit like that,” the krogan grumbled, his red eyes staring at her for a moment before turning to his omnitool. “People might hear you… then I gotta go killing folks all on account of you flapping your mandibles- it’s bad for business.”

Despite her sadness over her fight with Jane, Sol smiled at Wrex, letting out a happy little chirp. “I guess I’ll keep it under wraps.” 

“You better,” he grumbled, looking around the room for a moment. “Get your ass settled in so you can get to work in the morning- I’m not letting Shepard chew my ass out because you want to wallow in your feelings.” 

She started to say something else but Wrex left the room, leaving Sol alone in the empty ship that she was going to be calling home. _Time to prove you’re worth something,_ she thought as she unpacked her bags, setting up JC’s things in the corner of the tiny room. _I need to show them I deserve to be here._

Just as she was reaching under to bed to entice the kitten with his dinner, the door opened behind her. “For a stowaway, you’ve got a pretty sweet setup here, Sol.” 

Sol jerked her head so fast that she snagged her fringe on the bed, letting out a squawk of pain. “Jane- I mean, commander!” She scrambled to her feet, rubbing her aching head. “I’m sorry,” she chirped nervously, “I didn’t know you were coming, or I would’ve-” 

“When we’re alone, Jane is fine,” her sister said, sitting down in the small seat and clicking her tongue at the grey fluffball currently eating his foul-smelling paste. “Wrex told me that Chakwas said you and her will be working together?” 

Sol nodded enthusiastically, sitting down on the bed and glancing at her feet. “Yeah- I get to consult with her on the turian case she has in the morning.” She sighed, then looked up to Jane, letting out a sad little trill. “Janey, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she whispered, tapping her foot nervously. “I just… I couldn’t go home,” she whispered, hugging her knees and staring at the floor. “I’m sorry about how I did it, but I promise, I’m going to help you out here- whatever you need, I’m ready.”

Soon, she felt Jane sit next to her on the bed, and Sol looked up with surprise. “You have to call mom,” Jane said softly. “She deserves to know where you guys are, and you know your brother didn’t do it yet- might as well have you take the wrath for this one… it’s only fair.” 

Sol sniffled, placing her hand on Jane’s leg and letting out a happy chirp when Jane gripped her fingers. “But... can’t John do it? After all, he’s the oldest, right? We all know she won't get mad at him.” 

Jane laughed, placing a kiss on her cheek. “True, but she might and I need him out there, remember? You’re the sacrificial lamb… er, turian, as the case may be.” 

She laughed, then lightly gripped Jane’s hand. “Wrex told me that the crew didn’t know about you and Gar,” she said softly. “Sorry I told that mean old woman your secret- I didn’t mean to, but she just made me so _mad_ -” 

Jane just shrugged. “It was going to come out anyway- kinda hard to hide a turian in your bed.” Her sister’s grey eyes sparkled with mischief. “Besides, it was entertaining as hell- I am decidedly not a fan of the bitch, myself.” 

Sol rolled her eyes. “I don't understand- from the way he talked about her, I was expecting a nice person! How did Johnny ever deal with someone so awful? He’s so... _John_... and she’s so… _evil!_ ” 

“That’s because men are special,” Jane said simply, earning a laugh from Sol. “There are quite a few cases in recorded history with my brother making bad life choices by thinking with the wrong head… that one has just lasted longer and had a broader reach than most.”

 _That is an image I do not want in my head,_ Sol thought with a shudder. “ _Spirits_ , can we never talk about that again,” she said, letting out a disgusted thrum. “I would like to sleep at night, and this bed is going to make it difficult as it is.” 

“The secret is pillows,” Jane replied, hugging Sol as she stood up. “I’ll requisition you a few extras- that should stop your fringe from hating you in the morning.” 

“Thanks,” Sol said quietly, twisting her shirt in her hands and feeling quite small at the moment. “I don’t want to trouble you any more than I already have, though- if it’s a bother, I can manage.” 

“Meh, I’m the commanding officer,” Jane said nonchalantly as she stood in the doorway. “If I can’t snag my baby sister a few extra pillows, then I’m seriously fucking up already.” 

Sol let out a happy chirp, looking at Jane with wonder and adoration. “Thanks, sis,” she said quietly, glancing down at the floor again for a moment before returning her gaze to hers. “I love you.” 

“Love you too,” Jane replied, smiling with kind grey eyes. “But you still have to tell everyone else what you did, Sol- a deal’s a deal.” 

“I don’t recall agreeing to that,” Sol replied casually, hoping to get out of a nasty conversation with John and Gar- she wasn’t looking forward to that interaction at all. “You’re in charge, can’t you just fix it for me?”

“I could, but I don’t want to,” she said as she left the room. “Consider it your punishment, sis.”


	11. Aftershocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Garrus realize Sol is on the ship; Jane makes plans to go to Therum

_ _

* * *

John lay in his bunk and stared at the ceiling, trying to get used to the strangeness of being on a ship again. There was always something he found odd about feeling like you were standing still as you zipped past the stars, and it made him sigh as he tried to settle himself. _What a day_ , he thought, glancing around the tiny room. _I should probably message Sol and make sure that she got out ok- we did leave in a hurry earlier._

_JShep: Hey Tiny, how’s it going? Did you get to your brother’s place ok?_  
_SVakarian: Um… about that… where are you?_  
_JShep: Space- I hear it’s the final frontier._  
_SVakarian: Spirits, must you always be so obstinate, Johnny? It was a legitimate question!_  
_JShep: Well, since I’m obviously fascinating and a certain turian needs to know everything about my life, I’m in my room._  
_SVakarian: Hopefully not with that horrible woman._  
_JShep: Why? I could stand to have some company now and again, you know._  
_SVakarian: I’m quite sure you could find better company, John. That woman is a shrew and I don’t like her… at all._  
_JShep: Sol, you don’t even know her- have you been talking to Jane again?_  
_SVakarian: …_  
_JShep: If it will ease your jealous little mind, I’m rooming with Joker. Remember me telling you about him? I should let you meet him one day- I think you guys might get along._  
_SVakarian: I guess that’s a good thing._

After her last message, John frowned- it wasn’t like Sol to be this quiet. Figuring the girl must still be smarting from the events of the day, John sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

_JShep: Look, I’m sorry I had to leave like that, Tiny- I know we were planning on hanging out a lot more._  
_JShep: And I know you don’t want to go back and deal with your dad, but I just want to make sure you’re safe._  
_JShep: Sol? Are you still there?_  
_JShep: C’mon, don’t be mad at me… you armor cats start sounding like trains when you get upset, and I don’t want JC thinking he’s gotta keep up with you._  
_JShep: Seriously… I’m going to toss and turn all night if I have to go to bed with you mad at me._

Just as he was just about to ask Garrus for the code for the main terminal in the apartment, he heard a chime at his door. _Not in the mood right now_ , he thought as he checked his tool again, frowning at the lack of response. Frustrated, he sent another message.

_JShep: Sol, don’t do this, ok? This isn’t us._

The door chime rang again, and John growled in frustration, pulling on his tank top and hopping into his sweats. He knew it wasn’t Joker- he had the codes to get in, and he knew that Jane would just override any lock without asking him if she needed to get in touch. “I’m coming,” he grumbled angrily, padding over to the door. “But I swear to god, this better be important.” 

He slid open the door, only to find his jaw hitting the floor when Sol stood in front of him, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. “I couldn’t find your room,” she said quietly, staring at the floor. “No one would tell me where it was.” 

Blinking, John just stared at her for a minute, then looked back at his bed- had he fallen asleep since sending his last message? “Why are you in front of me?”

Sol glanced up at him, her strange blue eyes taking him in and roaming over his room. “Because I wanted to talk to you in person- is Joker around?” 

“Yeah, he’s flying the ship,” John replied, still not believing what he was seeing. Confused, he pinched himself- when she remained in front of him, he reached out and gave a light tug of her mandible, causing the turian to let out a squeal and hit him in the shoulder. When he felt the sting of her large hand against his bare skin, his eyes widened with shock. “Holy shit, you’re actually here!” 

Sol scowled, rubbing her mandible as she walked inside, flopping down on the unmade bed and glaring at him. “I am… you didn’t have to yank me to prove that, you know.”

Once he’d gotten over his initial shock, John stared at her, still trying to process what was going on in front of him. “ _Sol_ ,” he asked carefully, sitting down next to her on the bed, “why are you here? Did something happen while we were gone?”

Sol sighed, letting out a soft thrum. “No,” she said dejectedly, twisting her fingers together, “I just… I wanted to come. I couldn’t stay back there without you guys, so I decided to try and come with you.” He started to say something else, but Sol held up a hand, begging him to let her finish. “Janey didn’t want me here,” she said sadly, looking at her feet. “Almost kicked me off, but Wrex convinced her to let me help Dr. Chakwas- thankfully, the doc agreed that my skills might be useful.” Sol sighed, then turned to look at him. “I also _may_ have gotten into a _tiny_ fight with Ashely and outed Janey and Gar’s relationship, so…” 

John just stared at her in amazement, running his hands through his hair as he got up and paced the room. “Jeez, Tiny, do you ever think about anything before you do it?” The turian winced, but John continued, unabated. “And what about Mom, huh? How do you think she’s going to feel when she finds out that all her kids are now on a goddamn ship? What if something happens to us? Oh, and let’s not even talk about how your _dad_ is going to have an absolute shit fit, Tiny!” He groaned irritably, running his hands through his hair. “What the hell are we supposed to do with this?”

Then he paused, a cold realization creeping down his spine as he thought about the situation a little more. Sol was moving around the ship, but Vakarian wasn’t in here ranting and raving, which John found to be more than a little odd- there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that the turian would be any less pissed than he was. Slowly, he turned toward the girl, his mouth hanging open in disbelief. “Wait a minute… have you told your brother?” 

When Sol squirmed, John let out an angry groan. “Oh come the fuck on, Tiny! You haven’t told him yet either? Are you _trying_ to get the man to rip off your plates? What, did you think you were just gonna pop up after a firefight and say _‘have a bandage and a lollipop’_ and hope it would all be okay?” In response, Sol let out a sad little chirp and looked down again- John began to pace the room. “ _Fuck_ ,” John muttered, trying to figure out what to do next, “we gotta tell them… _now_.” 

“We?” Sol asked quietly, finally looking up at him. “You’d help me with this?” 

“Well, yeah,” John replied, not understanding the question. He scratched his head and stared at her, confusion etched across his features. “Name one time since you’ve known me that I ever left you to figure something out on your own?” She started to open her mouth, but John cut her off. “And heading to the Normandy doesn’t count, Tiny- you were supposed to go to Vakarian’s, remember?” 

Sol smiled sheepishly, her mandibles fluttering lightly- that look on her face usually meant she knew he was right but wasn’t going to admit it unless you strung her up by her leg spurs. “Whatever, Johnny.”

“Come on,” he said, wrapping his arm around her and ushering her out the door. “The sooner we talk to mom and Garrus, the less likely we all are to die.” 

She nodded as they headed for the elevator, resting her head on top of his and letting out a small sigh. “I guess you’re right… can’t get much worse, right?” 

“Don’t say things like that,” John admonished, smiling at her as they waited for the car to arrive. “It’s a human thing- the moment you do something like that, you invite all kinds of chaos to fuck with you. And thanks to a certain _turian_ who likes to sneak onboard ships, I think I have enough trouble right now, thank you very much.” 

“Fine,” she replied, settling against him as the doors opened. “I’ll leave the chaos to you, Johnny- you seem to be good at that.” 

“Johnny?” A voice shot back, its tone sharp and strangled, “Why the hell is she calling you Johnny?” 

“Because it’s what she’s always called me,” John said simply, ushering Sol into the elevator as Ash stared at them with disbelief. “I know I said we’d talk tonight, but I gotta go handle something with Sol and Garrus, ok? It’s kinda urgent.” He patted Ash on the shoulder and pressed the button for the captain’s quarters. “See you soon, ok?” 

With a stunned expression on her face, Ash glared at Sol and stormed off, leaving the two of them alone in the elevator. Confused at the level of anger radiating between the two women, John looked at Sol and raised his eyebrows. “Um, do you mind telling me just _what_ you said to make her look like she wants to turn you into soup, Tiny?” 

“All I did was tell the truth,” Sol replied darkly, crossing her arms and staring straight ahead. “It’s not my fault if she can’t handle it.”  


_ _

* * *

Jane frowned as she sat in the comm room with Nihlus and Wrex, looking over the data on the screen. “So what do we know?” 

Nihlus sighed, wincing as he moved around the room. Though she wasn’t happy about the fact her sister had barged onto the ship, Jane had to admit that Nih was in bad shape- having someone who might be able to help him get a little bit of his mobility back certainly wasn’t the worst thing. “We know that Saren is looking for Liara T’Soni… reports put her somewhere in the Artemis Tau cluster, but that’s all we know right now.” 

“Gimme a second,” Jane replied, opening up her omnitool. “So, since I’m a Spectre now,” she said carefully, finally remembering that she was with other people, “I’m supposed to have access to information, right?” 

Nihlus just laughed, settling carefully in a seat. “If you can find out anything to make this easier, please do,” he replied, giving Jane a sweeping gesture of consent. “I’d prefer our pilot to have an active destination instead of using ‘the middle of nowhere’ as a flight plan.”

Wrex just scoffed, glancing over the data on the screen and smiling at Jane. “Where’s your sense of adventure, Spectre?” 

“Back on Eden Prime with the rest of my chest plate,” Nihlus snapped irritably. “Any other helpful questions, or would you like to leave now, krogan?” 

Jane looked up from her omnitool, no longer even trying to hide her frustration. “Can I please, for _once_ today, have a meeting where the people inside of it _don’t_ want to murder each other?” She glared at Nihlus, who was thrumming irritably. “Look, Nih, I know you feel like shit, but can you at least _pretend_ to be a decent individual long enough for me to pull up this information?” 

“You’re overreacting,” the turian replied, but he stopped rumbling as she proceeded to sift through the data. “I just don’t understand- what does Saren want with an asari archeologist?” 

Jane frowned, staring at her screen for a moment, then looking up at the Spectre. “The other woman on the tape… that was Matriarch Benezia, right?” When Nihlus nodded, Jane sighed. “Then I know why he might be looking for her.” She tapped her screen, then looked at the others in the room. “Dr. T’Soni is her daughter.”

“Great, one big family reunion,” Wrex grumbled, and Jane was surprised to see Nihlus nod in agreement. “Think the kid is working for him too?” 

Jane shook her head. “Data says she hasn’t been in contact with her mom in ages- also pins her last known location… as Therum.” She tapped a few more keys, then smiled triumphantly. “ _That_ was the most fun I’ve had all day,” she said happily. “Finally, a straightforward question and answer.” 

Wrex chuckled. “You should probably tell flyboy up there where we’re going… before our friend here loses his damn mind- you know turians can’t function without a plan.” 

Nihlus let out another irritated thrum, but Jane just laughed. “I don’t think my sister got that memo,” she said with a grin as she pressed the button to call the pilot. “Hey, Joker.” 

“Commander,” he replied brightly. “So, do we have a destination yet or are we just taking in the sights out here?”

“Therum,” she answered, ignoring the pilot’s sarcasm. “What’s our ETA?” 

“One sec,” Joker replied, his voice muffled as he started to talk with someone else in the cockpit. “Twelve hours- should be more than enough for Brainy to get her beauty sleep.”

Jane laughed, shaking her head. “Thanks, Joker- let the crew know the plan for me, ok?”

“Oh look, you’ve got me doing your dirty work for you already,” the pilot replied teasingly. “That didn’t take long at all.” 

“Keep fucking with me and I’m going to have John make your breakfast,” Jane growled playfully. “We’ll see how much of a smartass you are when you’re puking your guts up- how’s that?” 

“Nope, you’re too smart to kill your pilot,” Joker chortled, making Jane roll her eyes. “Face it Brainy- for once, you need me!” He let out a loud laugh, making Nihlus twitch his mandibles in amusement. “Finally after all these years, I can get my revenge!” 

“Yeah, by doing your job,” Jane deadpanned. “Who would’ve thought it’d be that simple?” 

“I didn’t, that’s for sure,” he replied happily. “Over and out, commander.” 

Once the connection had dropped, Jane looked over at Wrex. “You ready for this, old man? I’m going down on a strange planet with a crazy on the loose- I could use a little crazy on my team.”

“Born ready,” Wrex replied, then looked over at Nihlus. “Looks like your turian is broken,” he said with amusement. “You swapping him out with the newer model?” 

“Definitely,” Jane replied, then thought about it for a moment. “I should probably take John, too-”

“Unfortunately, you can’t,” Nihlus replied, causing Jane to look at him strangely. “He blew his amp last time, remember? I want him training with Alenko before you take him in the field- we can’t afford mistakes like that again… not now.”

Jane gritted her teeth and nodded- just because Nih was right, it didn’t mean she had to like it. “Then we’ll go in small,” she said firmly, glancing at Wrex. “Nih, can you stay on comms in case I need you?” 

“You could take Williams,” Nihlus replied, earning him a look from Jane that could cut glass. “Or not,” he backpedaled, seeing the fury in Jane’s expression. “It was merely a suggestion.”

“Yeah, a shitty one,” she grumbled, ignoring Wrex’s laughter. “Oh yuck it up, you overgrown turtle- you saw how she is!” 

“I just find it funny,” he replied, getting up from his seat and stretching, “that the great commander Shepard lets a woman like that get under her skin.” He shook his head, smiling as Jane tried to burn a hole in his head with her eyes. “Guess everyone does have a weakness, after all.” 

Leaving Nih alone in the comms room, Jane walked out with Wrex. “She is not my weakness, she’s my _nemesis_ ,” she spat. “If you’re going to give her a title, at least give her the right one.”

“Nah, nemesis gives her too much power,” he replied, clapping her on the shoulder. “That little pyjack has nothing on you- don’t let her get to you so much, Shepard.” 

She started to say something, but she was interrupted by a ping on her omnitool that made her groan- lost in the mission planning, Jane had conveniently forgotten about the fuckery of earlier… until now. 

_GVakarian: WHY IS MY SISTER ON THIS SHIP?_

Unwilling to deal with that problem just yet, Jane turned to Wrex with a bright smile. “You know what,” she said, tapping her cheek with her finger, “I think I need to go and chat with Tali- feel like walking with me?” 

Wrex just laughed, draping his heavy arm over her shoulder and guiding her down the hall. “Your mate just found out about the little one, huh?” 

Scowling, Jane just shook her head and stared at the krogan. “How the fuck do you know so much, old man?”

The old krogan shrugged, leading Jane downstairs toward the engineering room. “Practice.”  


_ _

* * *

“Solana, why in the world would you do such a thing?” Garrus sighed as his mother’s face loomed over the three of them, her mandibles pressed to her face with irritation. Sol had gone stone silent, shrinking behind John, who was looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here having this conversation. _For once, I can’t even get mad at him,_ Garrus thought angrily, his mandibles twitching every time he looked at his sister. _There’s no way she should be on board- she should be home._

When he saw her and John walk into the room, Garrus had let out a squawk so high that John had covered his ears- he was pretty sure most of the ship had heard it, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. After ranting and raging for what simultaneously felt like forever and not long enough, he’d finally managed to calm down enough to agree with John that yes, the situation was fucked up, but no, there was nothing they could do about it right now- like it or not, Sol was with them and Jane had approved it, so all they could do was deal with it. 

But the more he watched his mother’s quiet fury at the girl, the more he knew that they didn’t have long until his mother’s laser-like focus settled on them as well. _John hasn’t been through this before, but I have,_ Garrus thought grimly as Yeloris hit Sol with the one-two punch of _‘you know better’_ followed by the low blow of _‘how could you make us worry like this’_. To his surprise, Sol held up well against the emotional onslaught, but when his mother dropped the _‘I expected more from you’_ bomb expertly linked with the sad little trill, it was over- his sister crumpled like wet rags, keening softly and apologizing as if her life depended on it. _Never fails,_ Garrus thought, shaking his head and watching as John tried to simultaneously comfort Sol and apologize to his mom, _that woman is a professional parent- Sol never stood a chance._

“And you two,” she said sharply, causing Garrus and John to snap to attention, “I believe you knew that you were leaving to accompany Jane, correct? Did you both forget that I would like to know where my children were heading?” She stated at them with sad blue eyes, shifting her gaze from Garrus to John with every word. “I’m worried enough about my Jane as it is- did you two think that adding even more worry would lessen my burden?” 

_And there it goes,_ Garrus thought, fighting that immediate urge that came up to apologize and do whatever he could to make it right- the one thing that he’d always hated was that feeling of disappointing his mother. She was always the one who supported him in every endeavor, who had his best interests in mind, and the one who stood up for him when his father seemed determined to make his life miserable- doing anything that felt like it would even remotely erode that bond always made him feel a sense of shame so strong that he’d be willing to sell his very soul to make her smile again. But for the first time, that shame was tempered by something else- his dedication to his mate. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he said honestly, “but my mate was named to be the first human Spectre in the galaxy and she needed me- I couldn’t abandon her.”

For once, he felt like he’d given the right answer- his mother gave him a soft smile and a trill of approval, gently nodding her head. “I understand and I love you,” she said softly. “Give Jane my love as well.” John and Sol started to breathe twin sighs of relief, but her gaze instantly shifted to then. “But John,” Yeloris said sharply, causing John to stand straight up and look as if someone had stabbed him in the ass with a hot poker, “I do not care that you do not share my blood- you are my son and I love you,” she said firmly, her bright blue eyes leaving the grown man pinned to the spot with the combination of fear and shame Garrus knew well- she was about to level an emotional bomb at the man. 

“I am _disappointed_ -” Garrus winced as he stared at John, knowing Yeloris was about to go in for the kill, “-in the fact that you didn’t trust me-” he watched as John flinched, glancing to Sol and Garrus for help- it was clear he wasn’t going to last long, “-to be supportive of your decision to help your sister! I thought I had made it perfectly clear that you are a part of this family, young man!” At that, Garrus just shook his head- he knew his mother had successfully broken the former soldier when John began stammering out hasty apologies, trying to do anything to get the woman to stop looking at him as if she expected him to tear out her heart and stomp on it every chance he got. 

_You wanted to be part of the family,_ Garrus thought with amusement, watching Sol and John fall all over themselves to get his mother to do anything but look at them disappointedly. _There you go, one full dose of mom guilt- easy on the anger and heavy on the worry._

Eventually, after multiple promises from John to watch out for Sol and call every chance he got, his mother calmed down, saying she’d do her best to put off their dad for a little longer. _However_ , she warned, _you know how your father feels about Spectres- be aware of that when you talk to him_ , she warned, looking at all three of them with concern. _I’ll stall him for as long as I can, but when Castis finally does realize what is going on out there, I’m afraid there will only be so much I can do._


	12. Unearthed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrex, Garrus, and Jane search for Liara; John takes lessons from Kaidan

_ _

* * *

Nihlus made his way into the medbay, groaning with every step. As much as he didn’t want to be there, he had to admit that he wasn’t feeling as well as he should’ve been- his side was still aching something fierce, making it nigh impossible to raise his arm, much less shoot. “Doctor,” he said tersely, stripping off his shirt and hopping up on the cot. “I’m hoping you have better news for me today.”

“I might not, but I’m hoping my counterpart might,” Chakwas replied, gesturing to the young turian female standing at her side. “Nihlus Kryik, meet Solana Vakarian- she’s offered to assist me today.” As the girl stepped forward, Nihlus watched Solana curiously- all the intel he’d gathered said that the young turian was flighty and boisterous, but the female standing in front of him was nothing of the sort. She remained quiet as she studied his every movement, her bright blue eyes missing nothing. _Definitely Vakarian’s sister,_ Nihlus thought as she walked around him, humming softly to herself as she tapped two of her talons together. _She’s got that same look he does._

“What seems to be the problem?” Solana asked, staring at him with polite interest. “I’ve read your chart, but nothing in there seems to give me an explanation for what I’m seeing.”

His curiosity piqued, Nihlus crossed his arms, wincing a little at the movement. “And what is it that you see, Miss Vakarian?” 

“All the evidence points to a plate injury,” she said calmly. “But the scans show that Dr. Chakwas treated those- considering the level of care you’ve been receiving, you should be recovering faster than you are.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Nihlus replied, watching her closely as she carefully approached him. “But so far, while I think you’re highly observant, you’re not offering us any new information, Miss Vakarian.”

“Call me Solana,” she said absentmindedly, staring intently at his chest. Instantly, Nihlus felt strangely self-conscious, wanting to shrink away as she seemed to catalog the scars that now crisscrossed his chest. ”Whoever did this certainly did a number on you,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” 

Nihlus looked at the turian and gave a surprised trill. “A surprisingly soft sentiment for a turian,” he replied, wincing as she took her hands and gently moved his head from side to side. “I can’t imagine your commanding officer approved of such things.” 

Solana gave a light laugh, then placed a hand on the center of the scarred plate- surprised, Nihlus drew in a sharp breath, making Sol cock her head at him. “Did that hurt?” 

Nihlus shook his head. “Not at all- I just wasn’t expecting that.” He frowned, then cocked his head a little, his mandibles twitching thoughtfully. “Which is actually surprising- considering how much pain I’m in, you’d think I’d be climbing the wall at your touch.”

“Careful,” Solana replied, offering him a polite smile. “With the week I’m having, I might just take that as a compliment.” 

“If that were the case, then I’d say you’ve had a bad week,” Nihlus replied, watching the doctor taking notes. “It was merely an observation with no untoward intent.” 

“Possibly,” she said thoughtfully, then gave an embarrassed chirp. “Nihlus, do you mind if I touch your sides? I realize it’s inappropriate for a female to do so, but-”

“Solana,” he said with a smile, “seeing as you and Doctor Chakwas are my only means of medical treatment at the moment and I’m fairly certain your week hasn’t been so terrible that you’d feel the need to grope a patient, I’d say that you have my consent to do what you need to do.”   
  
“Thank the _spirits_ ,” Solana replied, visibly relaxing for the first time since he’d stepped in the room. “I would’ve _hated_ calling Johnny in here to do this part for me.” 

“Now that would’ve been offensive,” Nihlus said dryly, watching with interest as she laughed, slowly sliding a hand down his left side. The pressure was light, but firm- he noted with approval her hand only skimmed his waist, not lingering any longer than it had to. “I prefer to leave my examinations to the professionals.” 

“You say that now,” Solana replied, moving to his other side. Just as before, she put her hands near his armpit, sliding down with light but firm pressure. Suddenly, she hit a spot that made him yelp with pain, jerking back and grabbing her wrist. Even though she was visibly surprised, Solana didn’t move- instead, she just gave a calming trill, placing her other hand on his. Soon, Nihlus relaxed, letting go of her hand and giving her an apologetic thrum. “I figured you weren’t going to be so pleased when I found that spot,” she said lightly, making sure to take a step back. “Have you ever had an injury there before?” 

Embarrassed at his reaction, Nihlus just shrugged painfully. “I’m a Spectre, Miss Vakarian- I’d be surprised if there was a bone in my body that _hasn’t_ been broken before.” 

“Fair enough.” She looked up at the doctor, who was looking at her expectantly. “He most likely has an old injury that this one aggravated,” she declared firmly, giving a Nihlus a disapproving look. “It’s common for soldiers to have a damaged plate and not tell us about it. Normally, it isn’t an issue, but sometimes when we set the new injury it heals too tightly, constricting the muscles near the old one- hurts like hellfire when that happens.” 

“In our defense,” Nihlus replied, staring apologetically at the young turian- he hadn’t meant to frighten her, “I wasn’t in any condition to talk to anyone when I was brought in, so if this is the only setback, I’ll consider myself lucky.” 

“Give him a muscle relaxant right here,” she said, ignoring him and turning to the doctor, pointing a small gap in his plates. “Once you do that, he should start to feel some relief- he might pass out, though.” 

Nihlus sighed sadly. “Then I suppose that treatment will have to wait- I have to be on comms for this mission and I can’t afford to pass out.”

Solana crossed her arms. “There are quite a few others on this ship, Nihlus.” When he gave a soft flick of his mandibles, she let out an irritated hum and punched in a code in her omnitool. “Janey, I need an executive decision,” she said firmly. “Nihlus needs treatment, but it might make him sleepy. I know you want him on comms, so do you have a backup plan or do we need to hold off for now?”

“Give his cranky ass the treatment,” Jane mumbled, her voice scratchy and thick with sleep. “Joker can handle comms. I need him better, Sol, so you do what you have to do.” 

“Right,” the turian chirped brightly, then nodded to the doctor, who had already prepped the syringe. “He should feel a million percent better in a few hours.” 

Jane chuckled. “Good.. and thanks, sis- sounds like you did good in there.”

When Nihlus heard the happy purr Solana let out at the praise, her demeanor that morning suddenly made a lot more sense. _She wants to impress Jane_ , he thought as Chakwas gave him the shot, the liquid inside burning for a moment as it entered his body. _That’s good to know- that eagerness of hers just might prove useful._

_ _

* * *

“I should be going with you,” John complained, fuming silently as Garrus and Wrex suited up to head out in the Mako with Jane. “You didn’t bring me all the way out here just to leave me on the ship, sis!” 

“So hurry up and work with Cardboard,” Jane replied in a voice too low for the other humans to hear. However, Wrex and Garrus had no problems hearing her, and they both grinned at the nickname. “The sooner you get that new amp under control, the sooner we can show them how Shepards get shit done.” She glanced over at Alenko, who was waiting for John near the elevators and frowning. “I know the man has the personality of paint, but he’s got some skills, Johnny- learn from him so I can take you with me and stick him with Nih and Ash as a punishment.” 

John laughed, kissing his sister on the top of her head. “Devious, aren’t we?” Jane shrugged casually before winking, making John chuckle. “You stay safe out there,” he murmured, trying to keep his voice steady- every time she left, it reminded him of what happened on Akuze and it made it that much harder to let her go. “I’ll go kick this guy’s ass right quick so the Spectre can get the stick out of his ass and know I’m ok to head out with you.” 

“Be nice,” she admonished, slapping him on the shoulder. “You know it’s killing him to have to sit these missions out- you’d be a dick too if the shoe were on the other foot.” 

John gave his sister a light snort, then caught Garrus’s eye- from the look on his face, he could tell he was pretty much on the same page as he was. “Sis, I get that you’ve got it in your head somehow that he’s got a shred of decency and fun inside that thick skull of his, so I hate to be the one to tell you this, but full disclosure… your boy is an asshole.” 

At that, Wrex let out a booming laugh, then walked over to John and gave him a crushing hug. “I knew I liked you for a reason, Shepard!” John grinned, then winced as Wrex punched him in the arm. “Now go train with that piss-ant over there so we can get you invited to the party- I’m looking forward to seeing what you can do when you won’t start passing out on me every five seconds.” 

“Please,” John replied dismissively, “I bet my fam is gonna be running circles around your old ass- don’t come back crying about how bad they beat you out there.” 

“More like I’m gonna be carrying these two whelps back under an arm,” Wrex chortled, adjusting his armor as he made his way to the Mako. “Might want to tell your mom to have a box of tissues ready for them.” 

Garrus rolled his eyes, then made his way for the driver’s seat, only to get stopped by Jane. “What are you doing, big guy?” 

“Driving,” Garrus replied, crossing his arms. “If you’re anything like your brother, we’re all going to die if you drive- if I’m going to die, I’d prefer to at least let the bad guys take a shot first.” 

“I’m nothing like John,” Jane retorted, rolling her eyes and smacking her husband on the arm as she headed to the driver’s seat. “Give me a little credit!”

John caught Garrus’s eye, then mouthed _‘she’s worse’,_ earning a chuckle from the turian. John frantically mimed buckling a seatbelt, then put his hands behind his back when Jane whirled around to him. “Good luck out there!” he sang out sweetly, his smile a mile wide as she glared at him. “Be sure to buckle up for safety!” 

“Fuck you,” Jane retorted, flipping her brother off and sliding into the vehicle. “Just do your damn job and keep an eye on Sol for us, would you?” 

“Aye aye, _Commander_ ,” John replied, giving her a snappy salute. Once she was in the vehicle, he turned to Garrus and gave him a pointed look before he got inside. “Seriously… wear a seatbelt- I used to own a bike back in the day, but it met my sister. Needless to say, I no longer have a bike, and a report for massive property damage seems to have vanished into thin air… just saying.” 

A look of understanding and horror crossed the turian’s face, then he nodded and swallowed. “Thanks for the heads up,” he said hoarsely as he gingerly headed toward the vehicle, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like a prayer. “We’re going to have a serious talk when I get back, John,” Garrus grumbled from the doorway, glaring at him as Wrex chuckled from the backseat. “Possibly centered around some things that someone might have wanted to mention a _long_ time ago.” 

John smiled, waving as he headed toward the elevator. “Whatever you say, buddy.” 

_ _

* * *

After way too many near misses with pools of boiling lava to count, Garrus made a mental note to thank the man for his warnings and never let his wife get behind the wheel again in life. “Sweetie,” he said carefully as Wrex blasted a geth trooper with the machine gun, laughing with delight, “maybe next time you should… let me drive, perhaps?”

Jane scowled as she banked the Mako, making Garrus infinitely glad he’d not had lunch yet. “Honey,” she growled as a blast rocked the vehicle, jostling him against the ceiling of the cabin, “are you implying that I’m a bad driver?” 

“Implying? No,” Garrus said, wincing- he saw his life flash before his eyes as Jane ran over a squadron of Geth, then backed over them again for good measure, “I’m outright _telling_ you! Spirits _above_ , are you trying to kill us all?” 

“Trouble in paradise?” Wrex called down, laughing as he took down a trooper aiming at them with a rocket- between her driving and his maniacal glee at shooting anything that moved, Garrus was pretty sure that he was ten seconds away from having a stroke. “Calm down, turian... I think Shep’s doing just fine- she’s giving me lots to shoot!” 

“At least someone appreciates my skills,” Jane called back, staring at the narrow slit in front of them with interest. “Hmmm... looks like it might be tight, guys.”

“No, it looks like it might be time to _walk_ ,” Garrus croaked, looking at the hole his wife was no doubt planning to try and squeeze through, “Jane,” he warned, “this is a _tank_ … and that is _rock_. _We do not fit in that hole!”_

“Calm down- we’ll fit just fine,” Jane replied, banging on the ceiling to signal Wrex. “After you have your fun, you better get inside- we’re about to have a tight squeeze in a second.”

“Or _not!_ ” Garrus yelped, watching as a body ricocheted off the wall and flew past his window. “Love, are you doing this because of what I said back there?” 

Jane didn’t look at him- she just lined up the nose of the mako with the walls. “Maybe.” 

“Sweetie,” Garrus pleaded, frowning as Wrex slid back into the seat and started chuckling. However, he did take note of the fact that the old krogan immediately buckled his seatbelt. “I take it back- you are the better shot. Please stop trying to kill us now.”

She didn’t even look at him as she gunned the engine, sending the sounds of screeching metal in the air. “What’s the but?” 

“The but?” Garrus was gritting his teeth, trying to ignore the terrible sound and picturing the amount of damage his wife was causing to this beautiful machine. “Jane, please, for the love of all that is holy, please stop!” 

“Nope,” she replied, pressing forward. “I know you too well, Vakarian- you wouldn’t say something like that without a caveat.” The sound of creaking metal echoed throughout the cabin, and Garrus looked at Wrex with fear in his eyes- with each passing moment, he grew even surer he was going to die in this car smashed between two rocks. “So what, am I the better shot with a pistol? An assault rifle?”

“Um…” Knowing that he was caught, Garrus gave a terrified trill as the Mako hit the center of the hole- there was no way they would be able to back out of here now. “I think we need to do a fairer test,” he said weakly. “Maybe you were just too focused on driving to concentrate and that’s why you missed a few really easy shots.”

Just then, Jane sent his side of the vehicle into the wall, hard. Garrus screamed, but Jane just placed a hand on his leg, the smile on her face a mile wide as she lightly gripped his thigh. “Ooops,” she said casually, staring straight ahead. “My mistake- I must not be _concentrating_.”

 _“Jane, I love you and I’m sorry!”_ Garrus howled, clutching at the dashboard. “Just please, whatever you do, _do not let me die in this car!”_

“Calm down, you big armor cat,” Jane said breezily as she sent the Mako through the final segment of rocks, the tires spinning rapidly with their newfound freedom. “Like I told you… we fit just fine.” 

_ _

* * *

“Okay, I have to admit, this new amp is a fuckload better than my old one,” John said as he munched on a protein bar. The lieutenant had dropped a handful near him as they started to train, and as he fired wave after wave of energy at the training dummies they’d set up in the cargo hold, he instantly remembered why. _Been a long time since I fought like this_ , he thought as he sat on the crate, trying to ignore the fact that the bar tasted like vanilla-flavored sand. _Never thought I’d be doing something like this again._

“You did well,” Alenko replied, opening a bar of his own and wincing as he sat down on the crate across from him. “I’m sure Spectre Kryik will be pleased with your progress.” 

“Yeah, I just needed to practice with the new toys,” John said easily, then frowned as he saw the man rubbing his temples. “You all right over there? You look like someone just curb-stomped your brain, buddy.”

Alenko just smiled, taking another bite of his chalk-flavored bar. “Nothing to worry about- I just get migraines… that’s all.” 

John paused for a moment as he finished the last of his snack, then stared at the lieutenant. “It’s ‘cause of the implant, right?” When he looked at him with confusion, John grinned sheepishly. “Look, I’m a little vain, so when Kryik asked me to train with you, I decided to ask around about your skills- you’re an L-2, right?” 

“That’s correct,” he replied, his face completely neutral. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t affect my performance- I just get migraines from time to time.” He looked over John, then turned back to his food. “If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think you were one, too- you’ve got a nice amount of power, Shepard.” 

John just stared at his hands for a moment, then smiled. “Nah... I had a teacher who didn’t take no for an answer,” he replied with a small laugh. “When you discover your biotics and almost level a city block on the same day, you kinda don’t get to use the 'I can’t do it' excuse all that often.” 

The lieutenant let out a low whistle. “I can see that.” Then he paused, obviously thinking about something. “The commander mentioned something about that incident… said you did it to defend her?” 

John nodded, wincing at the memory. “Yeah, some jackwad tried to grope Janey… last time he made a mistake like that, that’s for damn sure.” He looked down, trying to shake off the memory. “Turns out being a good brother was our ticket into the Alliance.” 

“Yeah,” Alenko said thoughtfully, then cleared his throat. “Look, you and Vakarian were partners at C-Sec, right?”

John nodded, unsure of where this was going. “Yeah… best partner I ever had, honestly- everyone else was too by the book, not willing to see around the corners. He was the only one who got it,” John said, offering the man a sincere smile. “It was nice to have someone else that realized that sometimes it’s ok to deal with the shades of grey… just as long as you strive toward the white.” 

“Sounds as if you respect him quite a bit,” Alenko replied as they headed out the storage room, then let out a deep sigh as they got to the elevators. “Look,” he said quickly, looking around to make sure no one else was around, “I don’t know if you know this or not, but Vakarian is quite… _familiar_ with the commander- I caught him going to the captain’s quarters with his things the other day.” He sighed again, then stared at the ceiling as they got in the elevator. “I know how rules are and I don’t want the commander to get in trouble- do you think you could maybe talk to your partner, get him to see that engaging in something like this is a bad idea?” 

John just stared at him, trying to mentally wade through the levels of stupid the man next to him was no doubt drowning in. _Does he honestly think I don’t see that he’s got the hots for my sister?_ “Well,” he said slowly, trying to be as diplomatic as possible, “Janey’s a Spectre now- I don’t necessarily think those regs apply, and even if they did, Garrus isn't Alliance,” John replied. “Plus, I’m pretty sure Anderson would’ve warned her about it if it was a problem.” 

Alenko’s eyes went wide. “You mean the captain _knew_ about this?” 

John sighed- his patience with this whole thing was wearing thin and he was starting to run out of ways to be polite. “They’ve been together for a while,” he said, hoping to put the matter to bed. “Believe me, she could do much worse than Vakarian… I’m her brother, remember? I’ve seen some of the bad decisions she’s called ‘dates’ before.”

Alenko just chuckled nervously, staring down at the floor. “I suppose you’re right.” 

_Finally._ John just nodded, anxious to get the hell out of the elevator and end this awkward conversation. “Yeah, anyway… thanks for the session today- it really helped a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied good-naturedly, walking off toward the mess hall. “Come see me if you want to train again sometime.” 

_Not fucking likely._ “Will do,” John replied, heading off toward the cockpit, desperate to talk to Joker. “See you around, Alenko.”

As he waved and left, the man said something that made John pause in his tracks, trying to discern if he’d heard what he thought he did. _There’s no way,_ he thought, staring after the retreating figure. _That would be some crazy fucking shit… he’s dry, but he's a decent guy- there’s no way he’d be that stupid… and especially not with me._

 _There’s no way that douche just said ‘it’s only because she hasn’t found anyone better’,_ John thought as he entered the cockpit, his face a thundercloud as he plopped down next to Joker. _Because if it is, I think we’re going to have a problem._

_ _

* * *

_Can any mission be easy_ , Jane thought to herself as she stripped out of her armor, watching as Wrex helped the tiny asari to the medbay. To her right, Garrus let out a soft keen at the sight of the scarred and battered Mako, trailing his hands along the damaged sides and shooting daggers at Jane with his eyes. _At this point, I’m kinda starting to wonder if I’m the problem here._

“ _Keelah_ , what happened down there?” Tali asked, peeking her head out from the engineering room. “You guys almost roasted the ship!” 

Jane sighed, staring at the young quarian. “Yeah, we already got this speech from Joker,” she said, placing her armor on the table. “Not my fault that our Prothean expert got herself caught in a stasis field… or that a krogan who was decidedly not as nice as Wrex decided he wanted to say a very painful hi while the mines were exploding.” 

Even though her mask obscured her expression, Tali’s voice conveyed every bit of her disbelief. “You’re kidding.” 

“I wish I were,” Jane replied, rubbing her arm. “Did you know krogan can regenerate? I thought that shit was a myth. I will officially be sending Wrex in front of me as a meat shield in every fight from here on out because that was the freakiest shit I’ve ever seen.” 

“I was going to say I’m sorry you didn’t take me with you,” Tali said warily as she followed Jane to the mess hall, “but now I’m not so sure I feel that way.” 

“Aww, come on- there were tons of geth,” Jane said cheerily, grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it down in one gulp. “Our missions have something for everyone!" Tali huffed, but Jane beamed at the girl. "See, I’m sure I can make you feel plenty bad about not coming on a life-threatening mission on a lava planet- it’s a superpower of mine.” 

“You are a strange one,” Tali replied, cocking her head to look at Jane as they sat down at the table. “Are you sure you didn’t take a rock to the head down there?”

“Nope, this is all me,” Jane replied, tapping her fingers on the tabletop. Soon, Garrus came upstairs and she waved, waiting on her husband to grab his drink and head on over to them. “Garrus, Tali thinks I’m being flippant because I got hit in the head- can you tell her this is normal?”

“Yes,” he said seriously, shaking his head as he sipped his drink. “She is every bit as insane as this on a normal basis- In fact, I think a hit to the head might actually do us a favor.” He turned to Tali, his palm outstretched. “Got a rock so we can test this theory?” 

Tali just shook her head. “I really don’t understand you,” she said, her tone strangely pointed as she turned toward Garrus. “I can't believe this is how you behave all the time- nothing would ever get done!” 

"You'd be surprised." Jane started to say something else, but Wrex came into the hall, sitting down next to Tali- next to him, the quarian looked like a kid’s toy. “How’s Liara?” Jane asked, shifting back into responsible adult mode. “When should I go up and talk to her?” 

“Doc says to give her a few hours,” he rumbled, watching as Garrus got up to get Jane another bottle of water before settling his gaze back on Jane. “She’s a little banged up, Shep- not everyone gets off on charging into battle and pistol-whipping a geth.”

Tali whipped her head back to Jane, who just shrugged and took the bottle from her husband. “I ran out of bullets,” she said sheepishly, purposely ignoring the exasperated thrum coming from the turian sitting next to her. “So I decided to improvise.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought it was kinda crappy that you just kinda dive right into interrogating the bejeezus out of Liara... decided to fix that here.


	13. Reshuffling the deck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane talks with Liara; Nihlus proposes a contentious team formation

_ _

* * *

“So,” Jane asked the asari, who was staring at her in shock, “did you get anything from that freaky mind mishmash of yours? Cause I gotta tell you, all I got from that was one hell of a headache and the distinct feeling you should have bought me dinner first.” 

Liara shook her head, her eyes fluttering as she sank back against the mattress. “I’m so sorry, Shepard… there was nothing concrete, only-”  
  
“Flashes,” Jane finished for her, knowing exactly what the young woman meant. “Same as what I saw.” She smiled, then patted her on the shoulder. “I get it. Does it at least give you a clue as to what your mother might be doing in this mess?” 

She shook her head. “No, I’m afraid not.” Liara leaned back against the cot and closed her eyes, exhaling as Sol handed her a cool towel. “My mother and I were not that close,” she admitted. “I preferred to stay far away from her and study in solitude- it made my life that much easier.”  
  
“I can sympathize,” Jane replied as she patted the girl on the arm. “For the longest time, John’s friends used to ask if I was mute because I never spoke- it was just easier to let him have the spotlight, so I did. It was easier to fade away than be Johnny’s little sister all the time- it took a long time for people to recognize me as my own person… hell, sometimes even I forget that I have an identity outside of him- getting caught up in Johnny’s orbit is way too easy to do.” 

Liara smiled, not even opening her eyes. “You do understand,” she said quietly. “Thank you.” 

“It’s no problem, Dr. T’Soni,” Jane replied, smiling softly and hoping that the girl would feel better shortly. “I know it’s been a rough day, but is there somewhere we can take you?” 

The girl opened her eyes, gripping Jane’s hand. “If it’s possible, I’d like to come with you,” she said firmly. “My dig site is destroyed, my mother is working with a madman, and the geth are reappearing after hundreds of years- if my skills and knowledge can offer even a little bit of assistance, I would like to join you.”

Jane frowned, then glanced over at Nihlus, who was sitting quietly in a chair across from them. “I’m not sure if you want to do that,” she said slowly, trying to figure out how to dissuade yet another civilian from getting into this fray. “This mission is turning out to be a lot more dangerous than I’d initially planned for, Dr. T’Soni-”

“Liara is fine,” she said, sitting up and staring directly at Jane. “I can assure you, outside of my unfortunate circumstances back there, I am more than capable of protecting myself- dig sites are hardly unprotected, after all.”

Nihlus looked Liara over, then gave a soft trill. “Her pedigree would make her a powerful biotic,” he replied. “And if we find the Matriarch, having the support of her daughter may very well make her amenable to helping us, not to mention it would be much safer for her to remain on board. We know that Saren is looking for her- at least this way, we can offer the doctor some protection.” 

Liara frowned at the turian, then turned back to Jane. “I know I haven’t spoken to my mother in quite some time, but I do know that she is a proud asari- there’s no way she’d help a madman like that of her own volition!” 

“Be that as it may, we’d have to get more information first,” Jane replied softly. “But, I can see Spectre Kryik’s point- if you still want to help, then the Normandy is happy to have you aboard.” 

Liara nodded, then lay back down. “I do… thank you,” she replied, closing her eyes again. “I’m happy to help in any way I can.” 

Jane glanced over at her as she left the medbay, with Nihlus following behind her. “This is terrifying, Nih,” Jane said darkly. “These are civilians out here- I don’t want them getting hurt.” 

“Leaving them to their own devices is a worse fate,” Nihlus replied as they headed toward the comm room. “However, you’re thinking like a human, Jane- I need you to open your eyes and see the bigger picture.”

“This type of thing could get them killed,” she whispered, trying to fight down the flashes of memory zipping through her mind- her breathing started to come in short, raspy breaths, and the walls started to feel like they were closing in all around her. “What… what if I’m not strong enough to protect them? What-” 

“This is not Akuze,” Nihlus said softly, shutting the door to the comms room and placing his hands on her shoulders. “Jane… _Jane_ … look at me.” When she finally dragged her eyes to his, Nihlus let out a loud thrum, letting the vibrations roll over her until she was able to calm down. “Feel better?” 

Jane blew out a shaky breath, then wrung her hands at her sides. “Yeah… uh, I guess I lost it for a second,” she said nervously, running her hands over her hair. “Sorry about that- it won’t happen again.”

Nihlus chuckled, then pulled Jane in for a hug. “Don’t say things you know aren’t true, Jane,” he murmured as she buried her face into his plates, letting out small, hiccuping sobs as he stroked her hair. “It happens to everyone.”

“Not to you,” she mumbled, feeling the heat creep up her cheeks as she pulled away, wiping her face on her sleeve. “You got your teeth kicked in by your bestie and you aren’t out here sobbing like an idiot.”

“Mentor, not ‘bestie’,” Nihlus corrected, guiding her to a seat. “There is a marked difference in the relationship he and I had versus the one you and I have, Jane.” 

“What, you wouldn’t comfort Saren if he had a meltdown in front of his crew?” Jane teased, trying to get a little of her own back. “Some friend you are, Nih.” 

“You are trying in the best of times, Jane Shepard,” Nihlus replied, shaking his head and giving her a soft trill. “But it makes you unique, and I’d have you no other way.”  
  
“Thanks,” she said softly, staring at the screen. “You know,” she said carefully, “I think I want to clear our flight plan- since the planet is a flaming heap, no sense in letting our sneaky Spectre tap into what we’ve been up to, right? Seeing as I’m out of ideas as to what to do next, I’d like to not be a sitting duck out here.”  
  
“Clever girl,” Nihlus replied, giving her a hum of approval. “However, there is no need to use your wonderful skills for that one, seeing as you now have clearance to rewrite files- just use your Spectre codes.” 

Jane paused, looking at Nihlus for a moment. “We can do that?” 

He nodded. “Oh yes- comes in handy when we need to track our targets. We can’t exactly have our movements being broadcast at every turn, can we? Having a master rewrite code comes in handy- we only use it in conjunction with our activities, anyway.” 

Suddenly, Jane’s eyes went wide, and she turned to the turian at her side. “Nih, I need you to get John and Garrus while I talk to the council,” she said quickly. “I’m pretty sure I know what was going on with those files of John’s now.” 

_ _

* * *

Sol was in the kitchen, humming to herself as she cooked dinner- after an evening of being forced to suck down nutrient bars, she had quickly located the dextro rations and set out to make something that didn’t remind her of the sludge JC ate. _It won’t be world-class, but it should do nicely,_ she thought as she watched her pot simmering on the stove. The cook had long since given her a wide berth, which made her a little sad- she was hoping to learn a bit more about levo cooking from the man. _Oh well, there’s always tomorrow_ , she thought with a smile, just before she noticed the fully-suited figure walking past the mess hall. “Wait!” Sol called out, hopping over the counter and racing over to the doorway. “You’re a quarian, right?”

The figure paused, then nodded. “I am,” she replied carefully, looking up at Sol with concern. “May I help you?” 

“Uh,” Sol looked around, realizing she probably looked more than a little odd at the moment. “My name is Sol,” she said, extending her palm to the quarian. “I’m Garrus’s sister, and I know that quarian’s are dextro- the rations here kind of suck, so I’m making a dextro stew.” She realized she was rambling, but she just wanted at least one person outside of her family that she could talk to. “I was wondering if you wanted some!” 

“Tali,” the girl replied, taking Sol’s hand and shaking it. “And I’d love to have a decent meal.”  
  
Sol let out a happy chirp as she stared at the purple figure in front of her. “Great! Let me go turn this off and we can sit down together… if you want.”

Tali nodded, making her way over to one of the tables as Sol went back to serve up the food, sending a message to Garrus and Nihlus about dinner. “Um,” she said, staring at the soup and then back at the fully masked quarian, “not to be rude, but…”

“Oh, that’s right!” Tali got up, then walked over to the cabinet, pulling down a small food processor. “I forgot you wouldn’t know- I just process my meals into paste or liquids.”

Sol watched as Tali prepared her dinner for consumption, then walked back to the table. “You know, if you show me how you need that done, I’ll be happy to prepare things for you- I’m always on the lookout for ways I can help out around here.”

Tali inclined her head slightly, then rested her chin on her hands. “There’s no need to trouble yourself on my behalf, and besides, aren’t you here as a guest of your brother? I know I don’t know her that well, but the Commander doesn’t seem like the type to put guests to work- she almost threw a fit when she thought Engineer Adams was forcing me to help with the drive core.”

Sol idly stirred her soup, then gave a sad sigh. “Janey- I mean, the Commander isn’t making me do it, but I want to… I kinda just showed up on board without clearing it with her first, so…” 

At that, Tali shifted positions- Sol got the feeling she was staring at her. “Why would you do a thing like that?” 

“Because Johnny and Gar were going, and I didn’t want to be left alone on the Citadel,” Sol said with a sigh. “So I packed up JC and came down here- luckily, Wrex convinced her to let me stay, so I’m trying to show her I can be useful.” 

“I guess.” Tali paused for a minute, then tapped her fingers on the table. “Wait, who’s JC?”

“My kitten,” Sol said proudly. “He’s in my room napping right now- if you want to go meet him after dinner, I’d be happy to let you.”  
  
“What’s a kitten?” Tali asked curiously, leaning forward in her chair. “Is it dangerous?”

“Oh no!” Sol said, shaking her head furiously. “JC is amazing! He’s soft and he purrs- Jane- I mean, the Commander says our sub-vocals sound like him. I didn’t think so at first, but I’m starting to see where she might think that.” Sol finished the last of her soup, then stood up with her bowl. “Would you like to come and see?”

“Of course!” Tali exclaimed, following Sol to her room by the medbay. As they walked down the hall, Sol and Tali began to chat. But when Sol mentioned that she’d gotten JC just before the commander was leaving for the Normandy, the quarian paused. “Sol… how well do you and your brother know the commander, anyway?”

“I should think pretty well,” Sol replied, laughing as she opened her door, bending down to scoop up the ball of fluff that greeted her at the door. “She is my sister, so…” 

“Your sister?” Tali stood stock-still, her head following Sol as she sat on the bed. “So, does that mean that you and John are…” 

“Spirits, _no!”_ Sol gave a strangled chirp, shaking her head furiously. “Jane is Gar’s mate!” 

The quarian sat on the bed next to her, grumbling furiously. “That bosh’tet- he made me think that he… oooh, I am I so angry at him! I thought he was leading the commander on!”

Sol laughed, stroking the kitten lightly on the back of its neck, then offering the purring ball to Tali. “That sounds like something he’d do,” she chuckled. “But in all fairness, I don’t think anyone was supposed to know- I sort of accidentally told one of the crew when she was being horrible to Jane.”

Tali laughed, then squealed with delight as JC crawled into her lap, purring furiously. “I love this little guy!” When JC began to flex his paws against her suit, Sol let out a concerned trill and reached for the kitten, only to have Tali shake her head. “He’s fine,” she replied. “If my suit couldn’t take a beating, I’d never have made it outside the flotilla.”

“I just don’t want him to mess up your suit,” Sol whispered. “Most of the crew won’t talk to me- I’d hate for JC to accidentally hurt one of the few people who’s actually being nice to me.” 

“You’re fine,” Tali replied, then she suddenly let out a gasp as she looked around the room. “You have a vid screen in here!” 

Sol nodded. “I needed a secure place to review patient files,” she said softly, leaning over and letting JC lightly swat at her mandibles. “That’s why they gave me this room.”

“Well,” Tali said thoughtfully, tapping her leg and laughing as the kitten chased her finger. “Are you busy right now?” When Sol shook her head, Tali squealed with delight. “We should watch a movie!” 

Feeling grateful for the company, Sol nodded eagerly. “I’ve got a ton on my omnitool,” she said happily, extending her wrist to the girl. “See anything on there you want to watch?” 

Tali scrolled for a moment, then shrieked with joy. “Oh, Keelah! You’ve got the Fleet and Flotilla vid series on here… and the movie!” She pressed a few buttons, then scooted backward on the bed, letting out a happy sigh as the opening credits began to roll. “And here I thought I was going to be alone for most of this trip!” Then she turned to the turian and gave an embarrassed laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to just take over your room, Sol.” 

“You have done absolutely nothing wrong,” Sol replied, grabbing a dextro snack bar from her nightstand before sitting next to Tali. “In fact, thank you… you have no idea how much better you’ve made me feel.” 

_ _

* * *

After receiving the curt message from the turian, John headed up to the comms room. When he got there, he leaned in the doorway and looked at Jane, watching his sister mutter to herself and pace anxiously around the room. “‘Sup, sis?" John said casually. "What’s so important that you had to have tall, dark, and spiky come find me?”

As he'd suspected, Jane ignored his teasing, looking behind him and frowning. “Where are the others?”

“Your husband was still under the Mako, and Wrex was cleaning guns and staring at folks in an intimidating manner, so... the usual?” John shrugged as he walked inside, settling into a nearby seat. “Why? Did the doc tell you anything about our renegade friend?”

Jane shook her head. “No, but I think I figured out something," she said slowly. "Remember those files we were looking at when you were at C-Sec? You know, the ones I said were too clean? Well, I think I know why… turns out _spectres_ have clearance to rewrite files, Johnny.” 

Instantly, he got what his sister was saying, and he felt his stomach start to churn. “Holy shit… you think _he’s_ been the one behind these?” 

Jane nodded. “It’s worth a look. All the council could tell me was that there were reports of geth interest on Noveria, which means dick all. However…”

“You think there might be something in the files that might give us something to go on,” Garrus replied from the door, walking inside and heading over to Jane. When he leaned over to kiss her on the forehead, John noticed him wrinkle up his nose, then glare at Nihlus. _Wonder what that’s all about_ , John thought as the spectre took a seat next to him. “John, was there anything in there about Noveria?” 

John nodded. “I think so- I tried to do some digging, but I got shut out every time.” He pulled up a few files on his omnitool, then displayed them on the screen so everyone could see. “They’re a private planet, so anyone that’s not an investor tends to get told to fuck right the fuck off.” 

“Unless you’re a spectre,” Nihlus interjected, placing his hand under his chin. “No offense to C-Sec, but they tend to be the only agents of the council that can get anywhere out there.”

“Only been there for jobs,” Wrex said gruffly, leaning against the wall. “Getting information out there is like pulling teeth… only not as fun.” 

“Wrex isn’t wrong,” Nihlus replied, glancing around the room. “If we’re going in there, we’d be better off having a plan- just because spectres are allowed, it doesn’t mean we’re welcomed.”

John didn't answer right away- he was too busy reading the documents. “There’s your connection,” John replied, pointing to a file on the screen and enlarging it. “This file has been repeatedly scrubbed- it’s an arrival manifest… for Peak 15.”  
  
“That place is shady,” Wrex said darkly, moving next to John to take a closer look at the data. “Lots of rumors about some wild crap going on up there- think your boy is involved in it?”  
  
“Well, Matriarch Benezia is,” Jane replied, squinting at the file. “That’s enough for me to say that we need to visit.” She glanced around the room, then sighed. “We should probably bring Liara for this one- if her mother is there, she might be able to get the woman to talk to us.”

“Agreed. However, you might want to sit this one out, Vakarian,” Nihlus replied. “Noveria is… a bit chilly. As a turian, it is not my favorite world to visit.”

“I’ll manage,” he grumbled, glaring at the spectre and moving closer to Jane. “I’m not letting Jane go without me watching her six- if you have a problem with it, kindly fuck off, Kryik.” 

“What the hell is going on?” John muttered under his breath, glancing back and forth between the two turians. “Is everyone _trying_ to get into pissing matches around here?” 

“Your _spectre_ seems to have gotten a little too close to your sister recently,” Wrex said softly, never taking his eyes off the two turians. “I can smell him all over her… and he can too.” 

“Seriously?” Jane looked at her husband with an exasperated look, but he didn’t back down. “Is that what this is about? For fuck's sake, my friend hugged me when I was having a moment- is that a crime?” 

“No,” Garrus said flatly, his tone and the glare he shot at the spectre making the denial feel hollow. “I trust you, Jane.” 

John let out a whistle before he looked at Wrex, who just shook his head and chuckled. The meaning in his partner’s words couldn’t be more clear if he spelled it out- _I trust you, but I don’t trust him._

“Can we take two teams?” John asked, hoping to ease some of the tension. “Dream team and a B-team, maybe?” 

This finally got a laugh from Garrus and Jane, who relaxed slightly. “Who’s the dream team?” Garrus asked, glancing over at his wife. “Me and you for sure… who else can keep up with us?”

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled at the krogan. “Wrex.” Aghast, John cleared his throat, earning a laugh from his sister. “Fine, I guess we can see how you do, Johnny- maybe you won’t pass out this time.”

“I’m going as well,” Nihlus replied, then let out a weary sigh. “I suppose this makes me the leader of your B team, Jane.” 

“Cool- that means you get Liara,” Jane replied. “I’ll feel better with you taking her anyway- I have no idea how good she is in a fight.” Nihlus cleared his throat, then looked at John for a moment before turning to Jane. “Though I defer to you, Jane, I just want to be clear- the B squad is mine to use, correct?”

“Yep,” Jane said quickly. “I’ll fudge your ID a little so you can move about freely, but wear a helmet, ok? I don’t want people picking up on the fact that I’m working with a dead man.”  
  
“Noted,” Nihlus replied, then cleared his throat. “If I’m to take the ‘B’ team, I would like to bring Williams,” he said quietly, earning a gasp from Jane, a groan from John, and a roaring laugh from Wrex. “I need a second gunner,” the turian said simply. “If she chooses to serve under a turian, she’d be a valuable addition. Personally, I don’t think her hatred is directed at aliens… I think it just mainly applies to you, Jane.” 

“For what it’s worth…” John said slowly, ignoring the hole that his sister was staring into his head, “I think the spectre is right.” When Jane scoffed, John sighed. “Look, give her a chance, Jane- the woman can shoot and it’s not like you’re going to have to deal with her.” 

“Call me paranoid, but I’m worried about your fuckbot _shooting my crew in the back!”_ Jane spat, turning redder and redder in the face. “When are you finally gonna stop thinking with your dick and realize that the woman is a goddamn _leech_ , Johnny?” 

“Then I’ll go with them,” John said firmly, struggling to ignore his sister’s reaction. While he didn’t think she was right, he would be an idiot if he ignored her warnings completely- there was no way he was letting anything happen to anyone if he could prevent it. “You take Liara, Janey- hell, nothing but a goddamn tank is gonna get past Wrex, right?” 

Wrex just nodded, smart enough to know what he was doing. “The whelp has a point,” he replied, walking over to Jane and putting his arm around her. “Between me and the turian, I think your asari will be just fine- you can just sit there and be pretty. Personally,” he rumbled, looking over at Garrus, “I’d prefer it if you shot at things with me so your mate can drive, but you do whatever floats your boat, commander.” 

“I like his plan,” Garrus replied, resting his head on Jane’s and letting out a soft hum before turning back to him. “John, you think you and that one can keep up with us? We are pretty impressive, you know.”

“Whatever,” John said dismissively, putting his hands behind his head. “We got this- between us, there’s not a stitch of information we won’t find on that fucking rock.” He smiled at Jane, who finally gave him a half-hearted smile back. “And when I come back with the keys to the goddamn planet, all I want to hear is how wonderful I am, Jane.” 

Jane rolled her eyes. “And when I have to bail your ass out of jail, just know the first words out of my mouth are gonna be ‘I told you so’.” 

“Promises, promises,” John replied, getting up and tweaking his sister’s nose before sticking out his hand. “May the better team win, Jane Brain.” 

Finally grinning, Jane shook his hand- he hadn't intended on making it a competition, but if it got Jane to smile and forget about Nihlus taking Ash with them, he'd take it. “You’re on, asshole.” 


	14. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John talks with Nihlus and Sol; Jane and Garrus get interrupted before bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garrus's section has NSFW content, so... feel free to skip it, but you know how we do with things. You'll just miss a little funny.

_ _

* * *

After their conversation, Nihlus walked out of the comms room and headed to the mess hall- Solana had informed him that there was food for him. Though he wasn’t keen on making others take care of his personal needs, he had to admit that the gesture was nice- he made a mental note to thank her in the morning for her kindness. _It’s strange to be around so many people_ , he thought as he heated his food and settled down at the table with his files. _Working alone is much quieter._

Lost in his notes, he didn’t realize when John pulled up a seat next to him, munching on a protein bar. “Getting a head start on the mission tomorrow?” 

_Spirits, does this man always talk so much?_ “Yes,” Nihlus replied tersely, hoping to dissuade the man from continuing his conversation. “I find that I like to be prepared… when I am ill-advised on the parameters of the mission, the outcome doesn’t go as smoothly.”

“Like Saren kicking the snot out of you,” John said quietly, his grey eyes focusing on him. “First mission back after something like that has to be rough, huh?” 

“It is of no consequence,” Nihlus replied, trying to shove aside the man’s insinuations. “I’ll be fine out there- my skills have not deteriorated in any way.” 

“Geez, you sound like a robot,” John said as he got up, moving to the coffeemaker and brewing himself a cup of coffee. _“My skills have not deteriorated in any way,_ ” he said mockingly, then went to the dextro side of the cabinet and started making a cup of kava. “ It’s ok to admit that you’re nervous, you uptight bastard.”

Eyeing the kava, Nihlus let out a curious hum. “You didn’t have to make me anything, John.”

“I wanted to,” John replied simply. “See, there’s this thing people do on teams… it’s called ‘bonding’. Works out a lot better when you talk to people instead of skulling their files for information like a goddamn stalker.”

He sat the cup down in front of Nihlus, who begrudgingly took a sip and let out a surprised trill. “This is rather good,” he remarked, staring at the cup with interest. “You and your sister seem to have quite the handle on dextro foods.” 

“Yeah, well you try dealing with a Vakarian in the morning without a decent cup of kava.” John gave a soft snort. “Learning to brew this stuff became a survival skill.” 

“You hide your compassion with humor,” Nihlus said quietly, staring at the young man with interest. “I see why they had you tapped to be the first human spectre, John- you’d be a fine representative of humanity.” 

“Nah- I don’t do well with unchecked power and freedom,” John replied, staring down into his cup. “Plus that whole being a leader thing? Too much responsibility for me.” He took a sip of his beverage, then sighed. “Jane might be prickly as a cactus, but when shit hits the fan, she’s the one you want- she’s always been the mastermind behind the plans and the one to see through shit.” 

Nihlus chuckled. “And yet, you’re the one who asks all the questions.” 

“Hey, someone has to keep her grounded- might as well be the one who’s going to watch her back no matter what, right?” John gave the turian an easy smile, and Nihlus could immediately see why the two of them were so effective together- he had an ease and a charm about him that seemed to draw people to him. “So, care to share why you’re so hell-bent on putting fire and gasoline together?”

Nihlus cocked his head at the man- the reference didn’t make sense to him. “I don’t follow you.”

“Janey and Ash,” John said pointedly, tapping the datapad that had William’s file on it. “You have to know that those two hate each other- why would you even suggest it?” 

“Because Williams is a good soldier,” Nihlus said firmly, looking back down at the file. “I think she deserves to be in the field, not sitting in the hold silently fuming. Keeping her back is only going to increase her resentment for your sister- I hope to let her prove herself in combat.” He glanced over at John, then folded his hands. “And I can tell you agree because you wouldn’t have agreed to serve with me instead of your sister otherwise- your dedication to Jane is too strong.”

“I do think Ash is a good soldier,” John said slowly. “But I also know that she’s jealous of me and Janey, which is a problem.”

“Is having you and Williams together going to be an issue?” Nihlus asked, tilting his head with concern. “I understand that you two shared quite a serious relationship- will you be able to perform under these circumstances?”

“And yet I don’t see you asking if Garrus and Jane can work together,” John snapped, glaring at him and crossing his arms. “ Ash and I haven’t been together in a very long time- I can assure you, us working together won’t be an issue.” 

“You two still care for each other,” he said mildly, watching the redness creep up the man’s face. “Why are you not mated?”

“Because we aren’t,” John said flatly, all humor gone from his tone as he pushed away his chair. “So if you’re done prying and sticking your talons in old wounds, I’m going to try to get a few hours of sleep- enjoy your drink.”

 _That's a definite sore spot for him... there must be a story there_ , Nihlus thought as the man stormed off, taking a sip of his drink as he switched over to review John’s file. _And I fully intend to find out what it is._  


_ _

* * *

Garrus watched his wife from the bed as she stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her waist, her hair dripping wet and hanging down her back in long, damp waves. “Care to share why wasn’t I invited in there with you?” 

Jane laughed, walking over to the drawer and grabbing one of his old C-Sec shirts and pulling it on. “Because I only have a fifteen-minute timer,” she replied, laughing as she crawled into the bed and snuggled against him. “If you were in there, I’d never get clean.”

Laughing, he nuzzled her neck and inhaled her warm, citrusy scent, rubbing his head against her shoulder to mark her with his own. “But it would’ve been more fun,” he teased, running his tongue along her neck and letting out a soft thrum as he heard her breath hitch in her throat. “You scared me today, Jane.” 

“I scare you all the time,” she murmured back, resting her hands on his cheek. “If it’s a problem, maybe I need to have a new ground team- I’m sure that Nih won’t mind-”

“Don’t you even finish that sentence,” he growled, lowering his head to her bondmark. “The last time you did something like this, we ended up bonded.” 

“Exactly,” Jane replied, kissing his mandible and running her hand along his fringe. “You aren’t exactly giving me a reason to stop, you know.” He growled and nipped her mark, letting his hands slide under her shirt as she ran her hand over his exposed chest plates. “I find it funny that you keep forgetting that I’m yours, big guy.”

“Oh, I never forget that,” he replied, tracing a finger up her spine and frowning when she winced. “Stop that,” he admonished, pressing his palm against her scars and pressing her closer to him. “I love every inch of you… even when you are being a brat and trying to kill me by destroying expensive machinery.” 

“I wasn’t trying to kill you,” she replied, wrapping her arms around his cowl. “I was proving a point, that’s all.” 

He rested his forehead against hers, letting out a soft purr as she draped a leg over his side, the warmth from between her legs slowly coaxing his plates open. “And what point would that be?” 

“That you need to trust me,” she replied, settling back onto the bed as he nestled himself between her legs. “Trust that I’m never going to do anything that takes me away from you on purpose… and there is no one else in the galaxy that compares to my husband.” 

“You’re reckless,” he said softly, lowering his head to let his tongue glide down the curves of her belly. He loved seeing the curves and shapes her body could make- the softness of her skin was so different from his hard plates that he made sure to touch and taste it whenever he could. “And hotheaded,” he murmured, dipping his head between her legs and letting his tongue trace her folds. As his sub-vocals hummed with excitement, he could see her pulse racing- the muscles in her thighs began to twitch and the scent of her arousal began to fill his nostrils, making his plates slide all the way open. “And stubborn.” 

Jane started to protest, but he pressed his lips to hers, letting the taste of her overwhelm his senses- _this is mine_ , he growled, feeling the softness of her walls pulsate around his tongue. She started to jerk forward as he explored her, darting his tongue inside and lavishing the attention on that bundle of nerves he knew turned her into jelly. _I love you, Jane._

Unable to keep her composure, his mate started to shake- undaunted, Garrus held her tight, letting out a trill of ecstasy as she began grasping frantically at his fringe, her hands sliding all around his cowl. _You’re always so cool and composed_ , he thought, his heartbeat thudding in his ears as he took in the sight of his mate, watching her chest heave as he used his mouth to make her writhe against the bed. _So strong for everyone else, but I love how you fall apart for me._

He was so engrossed in her orgasm that he barely heard the intercom. “Um, guys,” Joker’s wary voice said slowly. If a disembodied voice could sound like it wished it were anywhere except where it was, his voice would be the benchmark for it. “I understand you’re _busy_ … but you may want to get the door- he’s starting to make a scene out there.”

“Who is?” Garrus growled, watching as reality and embarrassment crept across his mate’s face- he instantly wanted to strangle whoever was at the door for taking away the joy in her eyes as he got up from the bed. “Is there a problem on the ship, Joker?” 

“No,” he replied warily, “Um, Alenko just heard that you were splitting into teams- he tried to call you...” The pilot’s voice trailed off, leaving Garrus without a doubt in his mind that they’d at least heard some of what they’d been up to. “He kinda dashed off after that.”

“No fucking way,” Garrus muttered, storming toward the door and fuming as his plates slid closed. “This is going to stop… _now_.” 

Jane adjusted her shirt, then stared at him, agape. “Um, don’t you want to put on some clothes before you-” 

“No, I don’t,” he said curtly, opening the door and standing in front of Alenko, who stopped his pounding in mid-air. Garrus gave the man a look that would have melted steel. “Is the ship on fire, Alenko?” 

The man’s eyes went wide, taking in the very angry and very nude turian standing in front of him, then glanced past him to see a very disheveled Jane sitting in the bed behind him. “No, but-”

Garrus wasn’t done. “Is someone sick?” 

Alenko tried to move forward, but Garrus blocked him with his foot. “Is the council on the line?” 

“No, I just-”

“Good,” Garrus snarled, leaning down and glaring at the man, letting a loud and angry rumble echo down the hall. “Then you can _leave_ ,” he growled, his mandibles pressed flat to his face with rage. “My _mate_ and I were getting ready for bed.” 

He had to give it to the man- he was either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. “I just wanted to make sure the commander was all right!” 

“Get out,” Garrus said flatly, closing the door in his face, ignoring the laughter coming from the bed as he walked toward her “You’re laughing, but you’re going to have a problem to deal with in the morning,” he said gruffly, sitting on the bed and chuffing as she wrapped her hands around his shoulders, nuzzling his head against her chin. “That man is… _spirits_ , I don’t even have the words for him.” 

“Dipshit is probably the best word I got right now,” Jane replied, working hard to hide her laughter. “And I always have problems to deal with in the morning- why should tomorrow be any different.”

“It’s not funny,” Garrus grumbled, giving a soft hum as she pressed her blunt teeth against his neck plate. “I’m so irritated right now I can barely think straight.” 

“Then get un-irritated,” Jane said softly, sliding her hands along his side and lightly squeezing his waist. “Because if you don’t finish what you started, then you’re going to have a problem with me… and you know I hold a grudge.” 

“Good point,” he murmured, turning around and pressing her against the bed and growling playfully as she wrapped her legs around him. “I suppose it is my job to make sure the commander is taken care of, after all.” 

Her grey eyes glinted with mischief. “I mean, if you aren’t up for it, I’m sure Alenko would be willing to-”

“Stop talking,” Garrus growled, pointedly ignoring the laughter coming from the woman pressed against him as he lowered his lips to hers. “You already know I take my duties very seriously, Jane.” 

“I’m counting on it,” Jane replied with a smile.   


_ _

* * *

John was fuming when he left the mess hall, barely even noticing when Alenko raced past him. _How the hell am I supposed to survive on a mission like this,_ he muttered to himself. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he realized the turian had a point- he and Ash hadn’t been together in years, but there were definitely some unresolved issues between them. He thought back to when Anderson told him about her status and his mini-breakdown that day- just hearing her name had brought back a flood of emotions he thought he’d long since buried, making him nostalgic for the days where the two of them were together. However, seeing Ash snipe at Garrus also made him remember their last fight, the one that made him call it off, and John found himself struggling to find a happy medium between the two sets of memories.

He’d been reeling from the news about Jane, or, to be more accurate, the lack of it- for days, all he could do was walk around their house in a stupor, replaying the last conversation he’d had with his sister in his head. _You can’t keep doing this_ , he’d said to Jane after she and Ash had gotten into a row at dinner that caused Ash to storm out of the apartment. _This is my life- you have to respect that!_

 _But she’s wrong for you,_ Jane yelled, tears streaming down her face. _Do you even see yourself when you’re with her? Seriously, are you so desperate for a fucking white picket fence that you’re willing to give up who you are to get it? A real family loves you no matter what, Johnny- I love you no matter what you do, don’t you get that!_

 _I just want to be normal!_ John screamed, swiping the dishes off the table and sending them to the floor with a crash. _Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you just be happy for me?_

 _If she was right for you, I would be your biggest supporter,_ Jane cried, reaching out for him and shaking when he backed away from her, throwing up his hands in disgust. _Johnny_ , his sister said softly, _don’t do this… not to me, ok?_

 _If you can’t be happy for me, then maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore_ , he said stiffly, opening the door and staring coldly at his twin. _It’s time for you to grow the fuck up, Jane- we’re not kids anymore._

 _I’m always going to be your sister_ , Jane said quietly as she gathered her things and walked toward the door. _And I’m always going to look out for you, whether you want me to or not._

 _Maybe you should worry about yourself_ , John replied, ignoring the hurt on her face as Jane walked out the door. _Because I’m tired of worrying about you._

That conversation kept replaying itself over and over in his head after he’d heard the news about her team, but every night when he went to bed, that look she’d given him before she walked out that door haunted his dreams. _This can’t be the last time I see my sister,_ John told himself, finally taking a good long look in the mirror at the type of person he’d become. _I can’t do this anymore,_ he told her, trying to tell her the truth of everything, but she couldn’t understand.

 _How can you throw all this away?_ Ash screamed, begging him to reconsider. _How can you throw away your career, your life, your future? How can you throw us away? This isn’t going to change anything, John- your sister is a grown woman! She knew what she was doing! Everything is about your goddamn sister- when are you going to start thinking about you, John!_

John knew he’d hurt Ashley, but he’d ended up hurting his sister more, which was something that he couldn’t live with. _Janey wouldn’t have gone it if it weren’t for me,_ John replied as he left, giving Ash one last kiss goodbye as he left out the door. _I was pretending to be someone I’m not, and my sister almost died to teach me that lesson, Ash- I’m not going to make the same mistake again._

“Are you okay?” a voice asked, the low purr rolling over him as a three-fingered hand rested on his shoulder. “You’ve been standing here for a while, Johnny.” 

Snapping his head up, he saw Sol staring at him, her bright blue eyes filled with concern. “I’m fine, Tiny,” he said hoarsely, hurriedly wiping his face and trying to find a place to hide. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“You’re not fine,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around him. “You won’t let me lie to you, so what makes you think it’s ok to do it to me?” 

“I’m older,” he retorted, smiling as she leaned her head against his. “Seriously, Sol, you don’t have to worry- I’ll be fine.” 

“I’m sure you will be,” she replied, gently guiding him across the hall. “And once you tell me what the hell is wrong with you, you’re free to go.” 

“I’m pretty sure this is kidnapping,” John said as he walked into her room, stopping to pet JC for a moment. She scoffed as he lay down on her bed, emotionally spent from the torrent Nihlus had dredged up within him. “I think the Alliance frowns on this kind of thing, Sol.”

She lay down next to him, ignoring the fact that their foreheads were almost touching. “Good thing we’re not Alliance, huh?” When he finally laughed, Sol let out a soft chirp, her mandibles fluttering as she smiled back. “Out with it,” she said quietly. “What’s got the great John Shepard out here showing the world he has feelings?” The sides of his mouth turned up into a smile as he started to say something but she stopped him, putting a finger to his lips. “I’ve never lied to you, so please don’t lie to me- we’re better than that, remember?”

He glanced at her face, taking note of the blue bands that danced across her plates and how blue her eyes were- _she reminds me of her mom_ , he thought, letting a smile cross his face before he lowered his gaze. “I’m a shitty person,” he said sadly, shifting to get up from the tiny bed. “There- that should sum it up.” 

“See, I don’t think you are,” Sol replied, wrapping her arm around him before he could get up. “Do you do shitty things and do you act like you haven’t an ounce of home training most of the time? Of course.” He glared at her, but Sol just laughed. “But you’re also one of my best friends, Johnny- you listen without judging, you’re kind, and you’ll do anything for the people you care for. If that’s a shitty person, then I hope I get to be one too someday.”

“You don’t know me,” he replied sadly, trying to fight the lump in his throat. “I hurt Ash, I hurt Janey… It’s only a matter of time before I do the same thing to you, Tiny.” He sighed, trying to turn away, but Sol stopped him. “I guess I just don’t know who I’m supposed to be anymore.” 

“You’ll only hurt me if you lie,” she replied, chirping softly as she tilted his chin, forcing him to look up. “Every time I’ve needed you, you’ve been there for me, Johnny- will you let me do the same for you?” 

He thought about lying to her and playing things off like he normally would- _it’d be easier_ , he told himself, hoping that he could just get out of this whole conversation. But seeing her look at him like that reminded John of Janey that day, sending his heart lurching into his throat. _I can’t do that to Sol_ , he thought as he stared into those blue eyes of hers, feeling like he was falling right back into the memory. _I’m leaving on a mission tomorrow… I don’t want this to be the last memory I have of her, either._

So, in the quiet of the room and wedged against the wall in the tiny bed, John began to talk. He told Sol about him and Ash- how she used to make him feel like he wasn’t a degenerate from the streets, how she was so proud every time she looked at him. He told her about how it felt to be part of a family that didn’t know what his life used to be like, and how he used to hate that Janey never hid where they were from, and how he used to resent her for embracing their past. He’d used his sister to digitally scrub out that old part of his life, and when she wouldn’t stop reminding him of the times he’d wanted to bury deep inside, he’d lashed out at Jane, telling her to grow up and leave him alone. 

And just when he expected her to run away, Sol stayed with him, listening quietly as he told her about how he’d swung from one extreme to the other, detonating his new life after Jane got hurt, hoping to hide from everything he’d become. She didn’t say a word as he told her how much he wanted to just stop the world and get off, too afraid to save the world when he couldn’t protect what really mattered. _I needed to disappear,_ he told her, burying his face in her shoulder, feeling like an idiot for his breakdown but unable to stop himself, too lost in the comfort of her arms to care. _I had to leave to find out who I really was again._

As usual, Sol never judged- instead, she just rested her head against his and let him hold her in the darkness, just like he did with her all those nights ago. When he said he should go back to his room, she removed her arm but he never moved. _I’ll leave in a few minutes,_ he said, closing his eyes as she nodded, neither of them wanting to disturb the quiet that had fallen over her room. 

But he never left, and she never made him go- instead, John stayed in the tiny bed with her, their arms around each other as he fell asleep, soothed by the soft purrs of the turian sleeping next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame @Rosebud1773 for scarring Alenko- that was her fault, LOL


	15. Miscommunications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus evaluates Ash; The Normandy crew lands on Noveria

_ _

* * *

Nihlus sat in the mess hall, brewing a pot of human coffee and waiting for John to emerge from the turian’s room. He’d been curious about what the man would do after he’d stormed out, but he hadn’t expected Solana to take him back to her quarters, and he certainly hadn’t expected Shepard to stay the night. _Interesting development_ , he thought to himself as he made his way to Ashley’s room, knocking lightly on her door. “Williams,” he called out, bracing himself for the tirade but needing to get this done, “may I speak with you, please?”

After a few moments, the door slid open, revealing the disheveled-looking brunette leaning against the doorframe. “What do you want?” Ashley said, glaring at him. “I said I’d be there- I never said that I had to like it or talk to you.” 

Nihlus just stared at her, blocking her view of the outside hall- the sounds of shuffling were finally coming from Solana’s room. “I just wanted to speak with you first- I don’t normally work with teams, so I need to assess how you work.” 

“And you couldn’t do this at a normal fucking hour?” She crossed her arms, then snorted. “Hell, maybe this is normal for you- who the hell knows how you turians work.” 

“Is this how you normally speak with your squad leaders?” Nihlus asked, cocking his head at the soldier. “If that’s the case, I see why your file is lacking in promotions.” 

The woman turned a bright shade of red, then her eyes narrowed. “What concern of yours is my service record?” 

“Quite a bit, actually,” Nihlus replied, hearing the man walk back to his room. “Can you please come to join me for a cup of coffee, Williams? As I was saying before you rudely interjected, I need to determine if you’re fit to go on this mission today- I’m not taking anyone with me I’m not confident I can use.” 

The shift in her expression was drastic- she went from practically frothing at the mouth to surprised in seconds. “Oh,” she said flatly, her eyes roaming across the hall and trying to find anything to focus on but him. “Is… is it possible to give me twenty minutes?” 

“You have ten,” he said curtly, turning away from her door. “I’ll be in the mess hall- if you aren’t there in the allotted time, I’ll interview other candidates.” She started to respond, but he had already begun walking away- he had no desire to entertain her protests or questions at this point. _I can see where Jane would find her… difficult_ , he mused as he headed back to the mess hall, trilling with amusement when he saw Sol sleepily padding into the kitchen. “Good morning,” he replied, settling down at the table. “Thank you for dinner, miss Vakarian- it was much appreciated.” 

Startled, Sol looked up, then smiled. “Oh hi, Spectre Kryik- didn’t see you there.” She moved to a cabinet, pulling out ingredients and frowning. “We’re going to run out of things soon- I guess Janey didn’t plan on so many dextros being on board… or they thought we were just going to eat those crappy bars the entire time.”

“To be fair,” he said playfully, “if you hadn’t stowed away, I think your brother and I would have been grateful to just receive those ‘crappy bars’, miss Vakarian.” 

Sol smiled, putting a hand on her hip- Nihlus did his best not to stare at how slender her waist was and keep his eyes on her face. “I thought I told you to call me Solana.”

He let out an amused hum, tapping his talon on the table. “So you did... Solana. If that’s the case, I think you can safely call me Nihlus,” he said with a light flick of his mandibles, grateful the soreness had faded quite a bit. “Cooking again, I see?” 

She nodded. “Yep- you guys are heading out early, so I wanted to make sure you guys had something to eat.” She paused for a second, then frowned. “I wish I was better at cooking levo stuff- I feel bad that I can’t make anything for Janey and Johnny.” 

_Hmmm… just how much did Shepard tell her?_ “I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” he said carefully, trying to see how he should play this. “I’m sure John can make his own food- they seem to be versed in it.” 

Sol laughed, furiously shaking her head. “Oh spirits, no! John can’t boil water without almost setting the house on fire- the most he can do is make coffee. However,” she said thoughtfully as she puttered around the kitchen, “he has gotten better about making kava- I was surprised that it wasn’t inedible when he made it for me.” 

Nihlus let out an interested-sounding hum, looking down the hall and noticing Ashley emerging from her room. “You two seem close,” he said casually. “That must be nice, seeing as how your brother is mated to his sister- some families don’t get along with mates that well.”

“It is nice,” Sol said absentmindedly, then glared when she saw Ashley walking into the mess hall. “It seems we have company,” she said pointedly, turning away when she saw the human. “Have a pleasant day, Nihlus- I’ll leave your food in the kitchen when it’s done.” 

“Thank you again for your kindness,” he replied, standing and ushering Ashley to a seat across from him, then turning to the soldier when Sol went back into the kitchen. “Williams,” he said kindly, sitting down and folding his hands in front of him. “It seems you can follow orders after all- considering your interactions with Shepard, I was unsure if you would be able to.” 

“You told me to come, so I came,” she said gruffly, glaring at Sol’s back as the turian worked. “Now, what’s so damn important to talk about that you dragged me out of my room at this hour?”

Nihlus just smiled, getting up to pour the woman a cup of coffee. “By coming when I asked, you’ve already told me what I wanted to know.”

Ashley just stared at him, confusion replacing the anger that she’d walked in with. “And what’s that?”

“That even when you don’t agree with or see the value in orders, you can follow them,” he said mildly, handing her the steaming beverage. “I look forward to seeing you in action, Williams- I hope you don’t let me down.”

Grasping the cup of coffee and taking a sip, Ashley gave the turian a curt nod. “I’m not planning on it.” 

_ _

* * *

John made his way to the cockpit, running a hand through his shaggy hair. “Morning,” he said gruffly, sliding into the open seat next to the pilot- thankfully, Alenko was nowhere to be found. “How long till we land?”

“About two hours,” Joker replied, glancing over at John and raising his eyebrow. “Rough night or a good night? Are you and Bitchy back on good terms again?”

“Not you too,” John groaned, leaning his head against the seat. “I thought that was just Janey’s nickname… that needs to never be uttered again.” 

“It fit rather well,” the pilot replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Figured it shouldn’t go to waste.” He glanced over to John, who was glaring at him. “What? You’re the one who wasn’t in the room last night- I’m allowed to ask if you were dipping your wick in the crazy.”

“I was not with Ash,” he retorted, stretching and letting out a deep yawn. “If you must know, I spent the night in Sol’s room.”

Joker let out a whistle, then shook his head. “You are living dangerously, my friend- new girlfriend and the ex on the ship together… I know my bones are like glass, but you must have balls of steel.”

John snorted, then glared at his friend. “Sol is not my girlfriend,” he said tersely. “We’re just _friends_ , Joker… you know, those things that people like to have sometimes?” Joker just smirked, causing John to let out a frustrated huff. “Females do come in the _‘I’m not having sex with you variety’_... as I’m sure you’re well aware of.” 

“Oh, the burn… it _burns_ ,” he replied, clutching his heart and cackling as he leaned back in his chair. “Tell that shit to someone who doesn’t know you, Shepard- we called you the carpenter for a reason back in the day.” 

John groaned, leaning his head against the dash. “Though I never heard this, I’m scared to ask why you… and I know it was you, Joker- no one else would come up with such a stupid ass nickname- would say something like that.”

The pilot just gave him the smuggest look possible. “Because… you _nailed_ anything that moved,” he replied proudly, ignoring the grimace on John’s face.

“I hate you,” John said simply, crossing his arms and staring out the window. “Anyway, where’s your cardboard co-pilot? Not that I’m complaining, just trying to figure out how long I have before I need to scurry and hide.” 

“Oh,” Joker said, turning in his seat to look at John with a wide grin on his face, “you haven’t heard yet, have you?” 

“Now I’m afraid,” John replied, looking at his friend and trying not to roll his eyes. “What’s that dickwad done now?” 

“I’m just saying, today might not be the day you want to tell your brother-in-law that you’re getting it on with his sister,” Joker said carefully. “Considering Alenko barged up to your sister’s room while they were… _indisposed_." The pilot shook his head. "Dumbass thought he was ‘saving’ Janey… all it ended up netting him was a crash course in naked and angry turian anatomy.” 

“I’m not…” Before he could continue his protest, what the pilot had said finally sunk in. “No shit? He did that?”

“Yep,” Joker affirmed, fiddling with the instruments on the dash. “We accidentally buzzed the room and turned on the intercom while they were in the middle of it… if it wasn’t Janey it might have been interesting, but since it was I’m scarred for life now- be glad you weren’t up here or we might need a two-for-one therapy special.” 

“And he didn’t get the fucking hint?” John was incredulous- he knew the man was oblivious, but this was at a whole new level. “Jesus Christ, what the fuck is _wrong_ with him?” 

“Not my issue, not my show,” Joker replied, shaking his head. “All I do is fly the ship, Johnny boy.” 

“Stop lying,” John retorted, glaring at the pilot. “You gossip worse than an old asari, Jeff- if there’s news to be had, I know you’ve got the details.”

“That’s only because everyone ignores the cripple,” he replied smugly. “You’d be surprised what you hear when people think you’re invisible.”

“Well, _I_ know better,” John retorted, glancing around the room before staring at the monitors again. “Think you can keep your ear to the ground for me? I don’t want to jump the gun, but I’m getting a bad feeling about Lt. Planko… just watch him for me, all right? I don’t trust him with Janey, but I’m also not going to wreck a man’s career because of a gut feeling.”

“Fair enough,” Joker replied, extending his fist to John, who lightly bumped it. “You know I’ve always got Janey’s back… even if I do owe her for that stunt of hers.” 

John just laughed, getting up from the chair so he could go and get dressed. “We deserved that and you know it,” he said lightly. “Honestly, I was kinda impressed she put that much effort into that prank- she usually just resorts to outright violence.”

“Whatever,” Joker grumbled, waving John out of his cockpit. “Go on, go get dressed- if Janey or Garrus catches you doing the walk of shame, I’m _so_ not covering for you.”

“Can’t do the walk of shame if you didn’t do anything shameful,” John retorted, leaving the room. “But you’ve made your point, Joker- I’ll see you when we get ready to land.”

_ _

* * *

“Liara, I just want to make it clear, you don’t have to come with us,” Jane said, looking at the nervous-looking asari. “I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

“Shepard, I’m fine,” the asari replied, placing a hand on Jane’s arm. “You said you needed my help- I’m more than happy to give it.”

“Well, between all of us out there, we gotcha covered,” John replied, looking over at Wrex, who leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Instantly, her brother went as white as a sheet, but the old krogan just let out a roaring laugh. “Um,” he said nervously, trying to back away, “I think I left something upstairs… I’ll meet you all back here a little later.”

“Not a chance, whelp,” Wrex said, clamping a hand on his shoulder. “Take your lumps like a man, Shepard- you weren’t that concerned when you did it.” 

“But I didn’t-” he started to say something else, but when Ash walked up and gave him a nod, the words died in the air. “Whatever,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and looking at Jane, “what’s the plan, sis?” 

“Well, we couldn’t get clearance to land in advance, so we’re just going to have to exert some authority,” Jane replied, looking over at her team. “From the intel that I've gathered, we’re gonna have to drive up to Peak 15- the train systems seem to be out at the moment.”

“And I highly doubt they’re going to let us bring our vehicle in,” Nihlus remarked, slipping on his helmet. The metal muffled his normally warm voice, making her feel like she was standing with a stranger. “We’re going to need to procure a vehicle, Shepard.”

“Then we have our jobs,” Jane said brightly. “B-team, you guys focus on getting us transportation while the Dream team looks for intel- we’ll meet up when we finish and head up to the peak. I don’t want us going in there blind- everyone got the comms channels I set up?”

“Told you she was efficient,” John said proudly, earning a nod from Nihlus and a glare from Ash. “Hey, Vakarian- keep my sister safe out there till I get back, ok?”

“Until you guys do your part, no one’s driving,” Garrus replied, earning himself a light tug on the mandible from Jane. “So we should all be fine until then. However, afterward is a different story…” 

“Jane, you will not be driving,” Nihlus replied, earning a collective sigh of relief from Wrex, John, and Garrus. “I’ll be driving- I want you and Garrus on weaponry- I’d like to _not_ be on the hook for massive amounts of property damage, Jane.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” Jane grumbled, earning a light chuckle and nuzzle from her husband. “You guys are overreacting.”  
  
“Janey, the car looks like a dented can of tuna,” John said pointedly, wincing as he shook his head. “It’s gonna take Vakarian _weeks_ to get that thing back to normal.”  
  
“You’re underestimating my skills,” Garrus said smoothly as they made their way to the exit. “I just need a few uninterrupted days to work and she’ll be good as new.”

“I think I’ll take that bet,” John said, sticking his hand out to Garrus. As the turian took it, his nostrils flared and his eyes went wide- before Jane could comment, John jerked his hand back as if it were burnt, then flattened it to his side. “We’ll talk later,” he said pointedly, earning a curt nod from Garrus. “It isn’t what you think, Vakarian.”

“I’ll be interested to know just what it is,” Garrus said pointedly, his eyes narrowing at her brother. “In the meantime, let’s get moving.” 

As the others walked off, Jane grabbed her husband’s arm, forcing him to slow down. “Hey, big guy,” she whispered, trying to make sure that Nihlus or Wrex wouldn’t hear her, “what’s going on with you?”

“Your brother has my sister’s scent all over him,” he growled, glaring at John’s form up ahead. “He tried to wash it off, but it’s still there… which means it was strong to begin with.” 

“Hypocrite much?” Jane asked, leaning up to put her hand on his neck. Though it was covered, she knew exactly where his mark was and trailed her fingers over it, earning a soft rumble from her husband. “You married his sister, remember?”

“You seem to forget that he tried to drown me,” Garrus replied, resting his hand on hers. “And I hadn’t even slept with you yet.” 

Jane raised an eyebrow as she stared at her brother for a moment, then turned back to Garrus. “You think they…”  
  
Garrus nodded. “Seems that way to me… but I’ll give him a chance to explain before I kill him.” 

“No killing my brother,” Jane admonished as they exited the ship. “I need him for things around here. Otherwise,” she said teasingly, “I’m going to have to have Alenko come on missions with us.” 

“Then I guess John can live,” Garrus grumbled, squeezing her hand lightly. “For now, at least.” 

Jane laughed, only to have her laugh die in her throat when they rounded a corner and were greeted by two very angry-looking women and a turian blocking the entrance to Port Hanshan. Confused as to what the problem was, she glanced over at Nihlus, who just gave an imperceptible shake of his head. _Guess it’s on me,_ she thought wearily, putting on her Commander Shepard face and turning to the woman in front. “Spectre business,” she replied, crossing her arms. “I need to get inside.” 

The woman, however, was not impressed at all. “Convenient,” she said derisively. “Hand over your weapons- we have a strict policy about carrying weapons in port.” 

“And _I’ve_ got a strict policy of no one touching my guns but me,” Jane shot back, glaring at the woman in front of her. “Like I said- I’m here on spectre business. Let me through.”

“And like _I_ said,” the woman growled, drawing her gun and giving Jane a smile that could practically be considered feral, “this is my port... if you want to enter my house, you’re going to have to play by my rules, little girl.” 

“If you want to play, we can play,” Jane replied, her finger resting dangerously close to her gun. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her husband reaching for his pistol and she grinned. _Of course he’s got my six_ , she thought, working through the nervous tension coiling in her gut that always preceded a firefight. “But I can assure you... I’m the _wrong_ one to fuck with, lady.” 


	16. The way the game is played

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets a few leads on Noveria; Nihlus has a chat with Ash

_ _

* * *

“Stand down!” A voice screamed over the loudspeaker. “Her codes check out- she is a spectre!” When the woman didn’t move, the voice over the intercom got even louder. “Matsuo, stand down… now!” 

Garrus heard a huff coming from the nearby krogan. “Just as it was about to get interesting, too.”

“Not helping,” he growled, glancing over at his mate, who was moving her hand away from her gun. “Honey, we’re going to have to have a talk about your negotiating skills- I think you might be a little rusty.” 

Jane shrugged, watching the woman in front of her move to the right to let them pass. “Can’t be rusty if you never learned it,” she said breezily. “Johnny’s the negotiator, not me.” 

“Then take a page from his book,” Garrus snapped, trying to calm his nerves a little. “Spirits above, do all of your interactions with people end in gunfire? Are you part krogan or something?” 

“Would explain a lot,” Ash muttered, earning a sharp look from Nihlus as they made their way into the port. “What? The girl is practically feral- she always has been.” 

“Oh, I’ll show you feral, you uptight barbie bitch,” Jane growled, balling her fists at her side and turning toward the soldier. “Gimme two minutes and I’ll be _happy_ to enlighten you on the subject.” 

Sensing the upcoming conflict, Garrus instantly picked her up and walked a little ahead of the others. “No killing your teammates,” he whispered, waiting for his mate to stop seething before he set her back down. “Think of the paperwork, Jane.” 

“I hate her,” Jane growled, her body vibrating with rage. “She’s always talking down to me… acting like her my first soldier family was better than us- I’m fucking _sick_ of it!” 

“You’re better than this,” Garrus rumbled, glancing over at Nihlus and John, hoping they’d get the hint. “We’ve got a job to do, Jane- don’t let her distract you from that.” 

“Just let me shoot her in the ass,” she grumbled. “She doesn’t need it, I promise- with the stick she’s got wedged so far up there, she won’t even notice a tiny little flesh wound.” 

“I think we’re going to go and have a word with our friendly helper voice,” Garrus said calmly, addressing the others as he clamped a hand on Jane. “Can you guys see if you can find anything out about getting up to Peak 15?” 

“Sure can,” John replied breezily, walking over to Jane and pressing his lips to her forehead. “Keep it together, sis,” he whispered. “We’re counting on you out here… _I’m_ counting on you, ok?” Jane blew out a deep breath and nodded, making her brother smile and pinch her cheek. “Show everyone why you’re the best person for this, Jane Brain… we’re Shepard’s, remember?” 

“I got this,” she whispered, then looked up at Garrus- he just smiled. “B team, you have your orders, she barked, her voice sharper than usual. “Move out!” 

Nihlus nodded, not taking offense at her tone- he understood the reason. “Understood, commander. Shep, stop running your mouth so we can go,” he said sharply, his sub-vocals the only thing giving away his true feelings on the matter. “The commander has better things to do than to deal with your foolishness.”

“Right away, captain tightass,” John snarked, giving Nihlus a snappy salute as he walked over to the turian and the sullen-looking woman. “Catch you on the flip side, guys.” 

As John walked off, poor Liara looked as if she’d been dropped into the middle of an asylum, no doubt wondering if it was too late to change her mind and go back to the ship. “And is this normal?” she asked, glancing over at Jane for a moment before watching Ash’s retreating form. “Does this type of thing always happen on missions with you?”

Garrus thought about it for a moment, then let out a deep sigh. “Surprisingly, yes,” he replied, glancing up at the young woman standing at the head of the second landing. “Congratulations- it looks like you’re officially a member of the Normandy crew, Liara.”   


_ _

* * *

As they made their way through the port, Nihlus glared at the woman with him, trying to debate what was the best course of action. Finally, he let out a low growl, his patience at his limit. “Walk with me,” he said curtly, moving ahead and leaving Shepard wisely trailing behind. “ _Now_.”

Ashley rolled her eyes. “What, is this the portion where the big, strong, turian comes to the rescue of itty bitty Jane? Why am I always the bad guy for pointing out the obvious?”

“No, it’s the part where your commanding officer tells you that you’ve been dismissed,” Nihlus said cooly. “You sow dissent, Williams- I’d rather work alone than deal with someone that could get me and my team killed because she can't be bothered to keep her opinions to herself. I’ll tell Anderson that you were unable to thrive in this environment, and we’ll make a stop on the Citadel to drop you off as soon as possible.” 

The soldier went white as a sheet, stopping dead in her tracks. “You can’t be serious,” she whispered. “But… _Saren_ ,” she stammered, whipping her head around to look for John- the man had wisely moved over to talk to someone nearby. “You need me,” she said shakily, turning back to Nihlus, her fists clenched at her side. “You said it yourself- you need another gunner.” 

“I’ll manage,” he said curtly, crossing his arms and glaring at her through his helmet. “As you’ve so rudely pointed out, my loyalties are to Jane- she is my mentee and a friend.” Nihlus cocked his head, then leaned over to Ashley. “What exactly do I owe you, Williams? You can’t even give me your silence when you’re on a mission- why should I trust you not to sell out the commander to the enemy if it’ll offer you the petty revenge you seem to desire so badly?”  
  
The woman lost the last of her composure at that. “Because I’m a good soldier, that’s why! I would _never_ do anything like that!”

Nihlus gave a soft snort as he turned away. “You could’ve fooled me- all I see is a spoiled brat of a woman who seems to put some petty grievances above the mission. The commander doesn’t even utter your name, yet that doesn’t seem to stop you provoking her at every turn.” He glanced around the port, noticing that John had made his way over to the hanar shopkeeper. “Why is that, Williams?”

For a moment, he was sure she wasn’t going to answer- then he watched as her face screwed up with rage, turning redder and redder by the second. “Because she ruined my _life,_ that’s why!” 

Trying to hide his surprise, Nihlus pulled her to the side and nodded to himself when Shepard didn’t join them- the man must’ve heard the ruckus and decided to stay out of it. When they finally reached an out of the way corner, Nihlus sat down on a stack of crates and removed his helmet, staring at the fuming woman in front of him. “And how did she do that, exactly?” 

“Johnny and I had a _life_ together,” she hissed, pointing furiously at her chest. “We were about to get married, but _no_... his precious Jane could never accept that her brother had room for someone else in his life besides her! Every chance she got, that bitch kept wedging herself in our relationship, and I thought… I finally _thought_ that John could see what she was doing! He’d cut her off and decided to do things for him for once.”

Nihlus said nothing- he just sat there, patiently waiting until Williams decided to continue. “You know, I really believed that he was actually ok and ready to do what was right! But then Akuze happened, and all of a sudden he got the idea in his head that his life wasn’t good enough… that _I_ wasn’t good enough!” 

“This sounds like a fight you should be having with John,” he said flatly. “Not Jane.”

“But it’s because of _her_ ,” Ashley insisted, her face getting redder and redder by the minute. “She never liked me, always accused him of trying to change for me! She never _once_ stopped to think that maybe he was better with me!”

“You sound stupid,” Nihlus said, growing more and more irritated with the woman’s foolishness. “If you have a problem with the way your mating went, talk to John. Jane owes you nothing and your jealousy and bitterness are going to lead you to ruin, Williams, not to mention you have the actions of your family hanging over your head.” He glared at her, watching the weight of his words sink in as the muscles in her face began to twitch. “Now I’m willing to let you prove your worth in the field, but I’ll _not_ have you doing it at the expense of my mission.” 

Ashley stared at him with shock- she started to say something, but Nihlus wasn’t done. “After this mission, you will talk to John- after that, I expect you to keep your opinions to yourself,” he growled, thoroughly disgusted with her behavior. “If not, you will find yourself with a lot of time to ponder those opinions elsewhere… do I make myself clear?” 

“As crystal,” she said softly, finally appearing somewhat contrite. “I… apologize for my outburst, spectre- it won’t happen again.” 

“See to it that it doesn’t,” Nihlus replied, replacing his helmet and getting to his feet. “Because I’ve grown quite sick of the petty human squabbles on this mission… and you always seem to be the cause of them.”   


_ _

* * *

Jane sighed as they left the administrator’s office, flexing her fingers and trying to keep her breathing even. _This is why I deal with computers_ , Jane thought. _They don’t talk back and I don’t usually want to punch them in the face._

“I didn’t know you had it in you,” Wrex replied proudly, slapping her on the shoulder so hard she pitched forward. “I was pretty sure you were going to shoot Anoleis in the face back there.” 

“I thought about it,” Jane grumbled, then turned to look at her husband. “But I didn’t want to deal with the paperwork.” 

Garrus gave a soft chuckle, but Liara turned pale. “At the very least, Gianna was helpful,” she said tentatively, glancing over at Jane as if she was sure that she was about to bite her head off at the slightest provocation. “She was at least able to confirm my mother is here, so we know we’re on the right track.” 

“True,” Jane replied, smiling at the woman and hoping to put her at ease- it wasn’t her fault this whole thing was headache-inducing. “Maybe Johnny and Nih found something out- they can’t have done much worse than us.” Taking a deep breath and hoping her brother hadn’t gotten himself arrested, Jane called John on the comms. “Whatcha got for me?” 

John let out a sigh. “Not as much as I would like,” he admitted. “Turns out there’s some sort of incident going on up there- they’ve shut down all traffic to and from the research facility. Our friendly neighborhood Matriarch was the last to visit- I tried to get more info, but we need a garage pass to get up there.”

“Meshes with what I’ve heard so far,” Jane grumbled. “Gianna told me I might want to speak with someone named Lorik Qui’in… maybe he can help us get one.” 

“Lorik will be useful,” Nihlus interjected over the comms. “He’s the manager of the Noveria branch of Synthetic insights. He’s also a shrewd businessman and a dealer in secrets- getting him on your side wouldn’t be a bad idea.” 

Jane smiled at the interest in the turian’s voice. “Sounds like you’ve had some dealings with him before,” she replied, ignoring the eye roll from her mate. “Maybe I should have you come and do an introduction for us.”

“I don’t think that would be the wisest idea, seeing as I’m not supposed to be around,” he replied smoothly. “You may do well to have your brother come and assist you, Jane. Williams and I will continue to look for information around here- can I ask that Miss T’Soni come and assist us?” 

“Are you implying that I can’t handle a negotiation?” Jane asked with a smirk, ignoring the cough coming from her husband. “I’ll have you know that I got through our meeting with Anoleis without a single threat of violence, thank you very much.” 

“I’m sure you did,” Nihlus said smoothly. “However, I’m also sure I would not like a shootout with one of the most prominent turian business leaders around… take your brother, Jane.” 

“You really don’t trust me, do you?” Jane asked, glaring as Wrex started chucking and Garrus hummed softly, staring off at a point just above her head. “Liara,” she said, giving the asari a wide smile, hoping for a little support, “you think I could do it, right?” 

“Well,” she said tentatively, glancing over at the other two for support, “I think you are quite formidable, commander… but I think your strengths lie in areas outside of diplomacy.” When Jane scowled, Liara placed a hand on her shoulder. “That’s not to say I don’t think you could` do it,” she said quickly. “I just think having assistance might be… less messy.” 

“Good save,” Jane grumbled, rolling her eyes as the three of them strolled up. She caught Ash’s eye and immediately tensed up, but raised an eyebrow in surprise when Nih placed a hand on her shoulder, causing the young woman to look away. _Wonder what went on there,_ Jane thought, smiling as John came over, the smile on his face instantly telling her that he was happy to get away from the two of them. “I still think I’d do just fine,” she retorted as Ash and Liara walked off with the spectre. “I _do_ know how to talk to people, you know.”

“Yeah, but it just so happens that you like to finish conversations with gunfire,” John replied as they headed to the mezzanine. “Maybe we should try to keep our guns in their holsters for a while? You know, maybe use our words like real people?” 

“I hate you,” Jane muttered, glaring at her brother. “Just so you know, I’m getting you back for this.”

“Love you too, Jane Brain,” John said lightly, whistling as he strode ahead of them. “Let’s get this show on the road.”   


_ _

* * *

  
“Lorik Qui’in?” John asked, glancing at the turian sitting at the table in front of him. “Do you mind if I take a few moments of your time?” 

The turian looked him up and down for a moment, making John wonder just how the last meeting with Nihlus and this turian had gone. “I could be persuaded,” he answered, his voice thrumming with something John had no intention of identifying- with every passing second, John was starting to feel more and more like the sacrificial lamb. “Why are you looking to speak with me, mister...?”

“Shepard,” John said smoothly. _No need to clarify, let him think what he wants to_. “My team has an issue that we hear only you can help us with,” he said as he settled into the seat across from him, watching as Garrus and Jane stood behind him. “We’re trying to catch someone who’s hiding out on Noveria… they told us that you might be able to assist us with getting a garage pass so we can get up to Peak 15.”

The turian nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “I do have a garage pass,” he said thoughtfully. “But why should I give it to you?”

“Because we’re trying to stop a madman,” Jane interjected, earning herself a scowl and a kick in the shin from John as Lorik stared at her. “Would you be willing to help?”

“That depends,” the turian replied, returning his attention to John. “I might be willing to help… but I find that I require assistance myself.” 

“So,” John said, working hard to appear oblivious to the turian’s overt flirting. _I respect him playing the game_ , John thought as he glanced over at Jane, _but I don't have time for this right now_. “what is it you need assistance with, Lorik?” 

“Quite a few things come to mind,” the turian purred, leaning closer to him. “But most pressing among them is making sure I stay out of prison and Aneolis gets into it.”

His attention piqued, John raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” 

Lorik leaned back in his seat, his mandibles twitching with irritation. “First and foremost, I am a businessman,” he replied. “I take my dealings _very_ seriously… and I expect those I work with to do the same.” 

“Understandable,” John replied, trying to figure out the threads of his conversation. “Go on, please.” 

“Anoleis is… not on the straight and narrow,” Lorik replied, glancing around at the nearby patrons. “He’s been accepting bribes to make some… less than favorable decisions.” 

“I knew I couldn’t stand him for a reason,” Jane grumbled. “Makes me wish I had punched him in the face.” 

“As tempting as that is,” Lorik said with amusement, “I prefer to do things a bit more… _thoroughly_.”

“You’ve got evidence,” Garrus said, looking at the turian with approval. When Lorik nodded, Garrus cocked his head. “I don't understand- why not just use it?”

“Because Anoleis is a slippery bastard,” he growled, taking a sip of his drink. “One with spies everywhere. Turns out when he found out that I had evidence against him, he started accusations against _me_!” 

“That’s shady,” John remarked, looking over at Jane. “And quite smart- putting the heat on someone else is a decent way to take the heat off himself.” He sat for a moment, then turned back to Lorik. “There’s just one thing, though- you have evidence. Why is this even an issue?” 

“Because,” Lorik said irritably, “he’s locked me out of my offices- I’m fairly certain he’s sending in teams to look for the evidence against him as we speak.”

“And you want us to find it first,” Jane finished, earning herself a smile from the turian. “Sounds interesting… _if_ you can help us get a garage pass.” 

The turian just smiled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out an ID card. “You mean _this_ garage pass?” When Jane nodded, he laughed and quickly put it away before turning back to John. “So, what do you think, Shepard? You’ve seen that I have the means to help you… are you willing to help me?”

 _Man, I’d forgotten just how quid pro quo things were out here_ , John thought as he gave the turian a beaming smile. “You’re just lucky that my sister and I enjoy breaking into buildings,” he said casually. “Got any advice for us?”

“Though I understand that things might get a little… _violent_ ,” he said with a chuckle, “I’d appreciate it if you tried to keep the bloodstains to a minimum,” he said wryly, shooting a glance at Jane, who grinned and looked away. “After all, I just had the carpets done.”


	17. Does anyone have a plan?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teams raid Synthetic Insights to get Lorik's data

_ _

* * *

“So,” Wrex said as they made their way back to the upper levels, “do we have a mission does or is John gonna be too busy getting ready for his date tonight?”

“Yuck it up, battle turtle,” John grumbled, ignoring Jane’s laugher. “I’m having words with Kryik when I see him again," he said tersely. "I think that bastard set me up.” 

“I did no such thing,” Nihlus replied over the comms. “I just sent in what I thought would yield us the most information. I can hardly be at fault if Lorik found you… _appealing_.” 

Jane just smirked at her Garrus, who was doing his best not to laugh. However, when another voice piped up over the comms, she raised an eyebrow. “He always said everyone found him attractive… I guess you’ve got your proof, Johnny.” 

Wide-eyed, Jane couldn’t stop the snort that came out. “She’s got you there,” she replied evenly. Garrus just stared blankly, sure that his comm had malfunctioned- he hadn’t realized that the woman was capable of not being a horrible human being. _I never thought I’d see the day where words coming out of that woman’s throat didn’t send my mate into a spiral of rage._ “That being said, Johnny’s new boyfriend gave us a mission,” Jane said, glancing at the men with her. “So, we gotta get into these offices. I know you guys were listening down there- whatcha got for me, B team?” 

“There’s a bank of terminals in a small room over here,” Liara’s voice said in her headset. “Nihlus said that you would be the best one to see if there was any information we can use.” 

“And there are security controls in here,” Ash said begrudgingly. “If we’re hitting the offices, it might make sense to shut them down first… commander.” 

Jane blinked, no doubt unused to hearing a statement that wasn’t dripping with vitriol. “Good work, Williams- may as well take a look at all of them while I’m in there. Garrus, you handle the security controls- I’ll look into the other terminals, see if we can mine any data that might be of use. Where should we meet up?”

“Smaller crews are better,” Nihlus replied. “We’ll stay around here to distract from what you’re doing- I’ll go requisition some supplies and see if we can find anything else out around here. If Anoleis is as dirty as Lorik thinks he is, I’m sure we’ll be able to find some information.”

“Gotcha,” Jane said. “Dream team, let’s go check out these terminals- B team, keep your comms on and wait for us outside the offices- if we run into any problems, we’re counting on you.”

“Understood,” Nihlus replied. “And Jane... _do_ try not to destroy the place- they barely like us spectres as it is. I'd hate for you to give the planet a valid reason to call for bloodshed.”

“You never let me have any fun anymore,” Jane grumbled, laughing as Wrex nodded with approval. “Whatever- Dream team out.” 

As they walked towards the terminals Liara told them about, Garrus couldn’t take it anymore. “Jane,” he said, turning off his comms for a moment, “what’s that saying you humans use when something seems like it will never happen?” 

Shutting off her mic, Jane thought about it. “Um… when pigs fly?” 

Garrus nodded, letting his mandibles flutter with amusement. “Yep, that’s the one.” He looked at Jane, then cocked his head. “And after what I just heard back there, I’m pretty sure the pigs are flying right now.” 

“Haha, just laugh it up, you two,” John grumbled, no doubt still smarting from the jokes at his expense. “The room is this way- the sooner we get this done, the better.” 

“Someone’s in a mood,” Jane said lightly as they crept inside the room and headed to their respective terminals. “Maybe you should discuss it with Lorik over dinner.” 

_ _

* * *

“We’ve got a problem,” Garrus said softly as they approached the entrance to the building. “Guys... take a look at what’s out front.”

Fighting the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, John looked over and groaned- the figures standing at the door were wearing ERCS uniforms. _Cops_ , John thought bitterly. _Cops on the take… this is just great- no wonder Lorik was so pissed about this._ “I see ‘em,” he said darkly. “What do we do about them?” 

Jane looked up at Garrus, who just shrugged- if his expression meant anything to her, he couldn’t tell. “I say we talk to them and give ‘em the chance to exercise some common sense.” 

Inwardly, John let out a sigh of relief- dirty or not, he didn’t want to get into a shootout with law enforcement if he could help it. “And if they don’t?” 

His sister just smirked. “Then we let Wrex convince them that fucking with us is a bad idea,” she said, turning to the krogan. “What do you think, Wrex?” 

“I like the way you think, Shepard,” Wrex rumbled, rolling his neck and cracking it loudly. “Let’s hope they’re stupid," he said happily. "I could use a good fight.” 

Nodding, Jane strode up to the woman at the entrance, then frowned when the woman put up a hand. “You’re not supposed to be here,” she said firmly, looking at the rest of them and swallowing when she saw the hulking krogan with them. “I need you to leave… _now_.”

“That’s funny,” Jane said seriously, staring at the woman with that glint in her eyes that usually meant shit was about to go down, “because you see, I’m a spectre- I’m _supposed_ to be here. However, I don’t think _you’re_ supposed to be here… which means that we have a problem.” 

The woman glanced at her partner for a moment, then straightened up. “You’re a spectre,” she said nervously. “You wouldn’t kill a cop.” 

_Lady, you are barking up the wrong tree right now_ , John thought, praying with all his might that Jane would keep her cool. Knowing that he was asking for it but willing to take the risk, John jumped in. “I wouldn’t make that bet if I were you,” he warned. “If you guys are working for Anoleis, then that means you’re on the take… which doesn’t exactly bode well for you. I’d leave,” he said pointedly. “Trust me… it might be in your best interest.” 

Luckily, Jane didn’t seem offended by his outburst. “I’d listen to him,” she said breezily. “My option wasn’t going to be as reasonable.” She leaned forward, giving the guard a menacing grin. “You see, I was just going to let my big friend over here eat you.”

As if on cue, Wrex let out a deep growl. “This is why I go out with you, Shepard- you always get me the best gifts.”

Weighing her options and deciding that whatever they were paying her was not worth the possibility of becoming dinner, the guard threw up her hands. “Um... I think we can come to a reasonable conclusion,” she stammered, eyeing Wrex with trepidation and taking a step back when the krogan began to growl. “How about we just… head out that way? I didn’t see you, you didn’t see me? How’s that sound?”

“Like a plan,” John replied, narrowing his eyes at the woman. “I’d hurry if I were you- this guy looks hungry.” 

Swallowing, the two guards nodded, racing out of the facility as fast as their feet could carry them. “Idiots,” John said, shaking his head as they started to head inside. “I can’t believe they thought you’d really eat them, Wrex.”

Wrex just shrugged. “I might’ve,” he said casually, winking at Jane and earning a broad smile from the woman in return. “Could’ve been fun.” 

Garrus just glared at Jane, then turned to the krogan, shaking his head in disbelief. “Just when I think I’ve got a handle on things, there you two go with something _new_ to terrify me with.” 

“It's part of our charm," Jane said cheerfully as they approached the entrance. "Now, let’s just hope we can make the rest of them piss their pants- that little exchange was almost as fun as shooting them.” 

Unfortunately, no one else had the same levels of self-preservation- as soon as they entered the building, the ERCS guards had immediately opened fire, and his sister and Wrex had immediately responded in kind. John didn’t know if Lorik was serious about not decorating his facility with humans, but he certainly hoped he wouldn’t hold it against them- after they finished, there were definitely going to be some hard to remove stains in the carpets. Also, the look of maniacal glee on Jane’s face as she and Garrus began keeping score was slightly disturbing, but John chose not to comment on it- _to each their own,_ he thought as he took down a guard that had crept up while Jane was accessing the terminal. _Fuck it- as long as you two like it, I love it._

“You can finish with that terminal anytime, Jane Brain,” John called out, slinging a singularity and suspending the guard who had rushed in while she was working- Garrus quickly finished off the man, giving John a nod of thanks before aiming at his friends down the hall. _This amp really is a crapton better than my old one,_ he thought as he watched Wrex mow down a contingent of unfortunate guards. “Your krogan is running out of things to play with out here!”

“Got it!” Jane cried triumphantly. “Let’s get the hell out of here!” 

_ _

* * *

“Good work back there,” Nihlus remarked as they made their way to the Synthetic Insights headquarters. “I’m impressed, Williams.” 

“Why? All I did was relay the necessary information,” she said curtly. Though her words were sharp, Nihlus could see the satisfaction in her expression. “You don’t have to praise me for doing my job, Kryik.”

“Apparently, I do,” he replied, not missing a beat. “I must admit, I was expecting to have to send you back to the ship already- you’ve surprised me.” 

"You were testing me." Williams stared at him, her eyes narrowing. “You wanted to see if I could talk with the commander without getting mouthy with her.” 

Nihlus nodded. “I did… and you did well. Funny how that works- when you’re left to your own devices, you tend to do the right thing.” He gave a soft trill, then gestured for them to take cover behind some crates. “There may be hope for you after all.” 

Ashley scowled. “You’re a dick, you know that?” 

“That may be true, but I’m the only one that’s even remotely on your side out here,” Nihlus said evenly. “You’d do well to remember that.” She started to say something else, but Nihlus put up a hand in warning, cutting her off before she could continue. “Stay down,” he hissed. “We’ve got company.” 

For once, he was thankful the woman chose not to argue. She dipped down next to him, her pistol out of the holster- to his right, the asari was staring ahead and taking slow, controlled breaths. “Be ready for anything,” he murmured. “Someone is coming.”

“ _Fuck!_ We gotta tell Stirling,” the woman hissed as she ran past, her partner hot on her heels. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not getting paid enough to deal with spectres and krogan- she can handle this shit herself!” 

When he was sure the guards were gone, Nihlus stood up. “Looks like we’re going to have incoming soon. However, this position isn't tenable- there’s not enough cover down here for my liking.” 

Ash looked around for a moment, then pointed to a large rock sculpture by the window. “Looks like that’s the best we got.” 

“It’s better than nothing,” Nihlus grumbled, making his way over to the section Williams had pointed out. “If guards are running outside, it would seem the Shepards are inside and making life miserable for anyone remaining- be ready for the reinforcements.”

“So what do we do when they arrive?” Liara asked quietly, wedging in between Nihlus and Ash. “Do we take them out as soon as they come through the door?” 

“Tempting, but no,” Nihlus replied. “We don’t know who it is- best to do as much recon as we can before the shooting starts.” He cocked his head, hearing the faint sounds of screams and gunfire drawing nearer. “Sounds like our friends didn’t choose to talk for much longer.”

“We’ve got movement,” Ash whispered, gesturing to the door. “Holy shit,” she whispered. “Doesn’t that sound like the lady from the port this morning?” 

Nihlus whipped around, listening closely to the conversation outside the door- sure enough, the woman in the doorway was one of the guards they had encountered this morning. “Shepard,” he whispered into his comm, “you’ve got company at the exit.” 

“We’ve got company here, too!” Jane yelled back. “Goddamn it, I _knew_ I should’ve let Wrex eat those guards!” There was the sound of gunfire, followed by a string of curses. “Get us a path, Kryik!” 

“Will do.” Nihlus turned to Liara, who stared up at him with a determined look on her face. “Can you cover me and Williams?” Then he turned to the human, praying that she would continue her recent streak of following orders. “Williams, you’re with me.”

_ _

* * *

Garrus had to give the woman credit- while she was an absolute shrew, Ashley was somewhat passable in a firefight. _Even so, she’s got nothing on Jane,_ he thought with pride as his wife took a shot at the blonde who’d been hurling insults and singularities at them with reckless abandon. However, Stirling hadn’t counted on John and Liara- the two biotics were countering at every opportunity, freeing up the rest of the team to take down her guards. 

After dodging a particularly nasty attack, Garrus dove behind cover, reloading his gun and glancing at Jane. “You got a plan?”

Jane wiped a hair out of her face, then blew out a deep breath. “Um... shoot really well and hope I don’t die?”

“We need to talk about how you plan,” Garrus grumbled, prepping his weapon. “Ready?” 

“Born ready,” Jane replied, peeking carefully out of cover to get a glimpse of Stirling- thankfully, she was too busy fighting with Nihlus to notice that the two of them had gone missing. “I say we headshot this bitch- what about you?” 

“Now _that_ sounds like a plan,” Garrus purred, not taking his eyes off the biotic in the center of the room. “You ready?”

“You’re the sharpshooter,” she replied, taking out a guard that had foolishly decided to get too close with deadly efficiency. “Take the shot.” 

“You get me the nicest things,” Garrus said happily, sighting the woman in his scope. Without a second thought, he’d aimed and sent a bullet into the back of her skull, sending Stirling to the ground in a heap. With the last threat eliminated, he turned to his mate and gave her a proud little trill. “I think I like this mission _much_ better than the last one.” 

“Meh,” Jane replied, walking out from their hiding spot. “Everyone ok?” 

“Wiped, but we’re good,” John said, wiping a sheen of sweat from his forehead. From his side, Liara tapped him on the shoulder, handing him a protein bar. He nodded in thanks as he took the bar, opening it and grimacing as he took a bite. “Man, I did _not_ miss this,” he grumbled, shoving the entire thing in his mouth, looking as if he'd just made a horrible mistake. “The Alliance never was one to give us anything decent to eat out here.” 

“Your diet is the least of our concerns,” Nihlus said dryly, checking over his gun. “Shepard, the way out is clear- I suggest you get back to Lorik.” He looked over at Ash and Liara, who both nodded and made their way over to him. “We’ll be waiting for you in the garage,” he said quickly, looking around at the bodies strewn across the floor. “Personally, I’d prefer to get as far away from this carnage as possible.” 

“I can’t say I blame you,” Garrus replied, looking over at his wife, who was scrounging around and collecting items strewn around the room. “We _do_ have a requisitions officer,” he said pointedly, raising his brow plates at her. “I’m pretty sure you can request what you need instead of pulling it from the dead, Jane.” 

“Force of habit,” she said sheepishly, plucking the shotgun from the dead turian and eyeing it appreciatively. “However, seeing as we aren’t going back to the ship anytime soon, and it’s not like _these_ guys are going to need them...” Her voice trailed off, then she gave Garrus a mischievous look as she tossed him a sniper rifle she’d found. “I mean, it really _is_ a nice gun- it’d be a shame for it to go to waste.” 

Catching the rifle, Garrus looked it over for a moment before letting out a sigh. “It _is_ a nice gun,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “I suppose we could take a few things with us.” 

“After all these years, you’re still a goddamn magpie,” John mumbled, shaking his head as he started looking around the room for anything of value. “Nice to see that some things don’t change, Jane Brain.” 

_ _

* * *

“So I see discretion isn’t necessarily part of your repertoire,” Lorik remarked, examining the OSD in his hand before slipping it into his pocket. “I suppose I don’t want to know the state of my office, do I?”

“Not really,” John replied, glancing over at Jane- the woman just looked away, her face the picture of innocence. “But, the job is done- that’s all that counts, right?” 

“In this case, I’ll reluctantly agree,” Lorik said wearily. “But, a promise is a promise,” he purred, reaching in his pocket and handing John the garage pass, his fingers brushing lightly against the palm of his hand. “I trust you’ll use this wisely.”

“About as wisely as you’re going to use that data,” John replied, staring back at the turian and ignoring the laughter coming from his comms. “We did have a better offer for that, you know.” 

“And I’m sure your motives for giving it to me were completely selfless,” Lorik replied, glancing over at John with interest. John looked at Jane, but she just gave an imperceptible shake of her head. “Oh, I kept myself busy with a little information gathering while I waited,” he said casually, stretching out against the bench. “Turns out our dear _Jane_ is the Spectre here… color me surprised.” He leaned forward, then tapped his finger in front of John. “You neglected to tell me that fact.”

“Since you didn’t ask, I didn’t think it was all that important to tell you.” John shrugged casually, then smiled right back at the turian. “No big deal- everything worked out in the end, so…”

“So it did,” Lorik replied, nodding as he settled back in his seat. “While I don’t relish the mess I’m inevitably going to find, I do have you to thank for having an office to come back to.” He reached over to John, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “I'm fairly certain I can think of a few ways to show my appreciation.”

John gave the turian a polite smile. “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to decline, but I’m sure there are quite a few other lucky individuals that would be more than happy to grab a little of your time.” 

Lorik just chuckled. “Well played,” he replied, patting John’s hand lightly. “Most would have taken me up on my offer for the potential opportunities alone- she must be someone quite special, Shepard.” 

John just stared at him, not quite understanding what he was talking about. “I’m afraid I’m not following,” he said slowly, giving Jane a confused look as her eyes went wide. “Care to explain?”

“Your girlfriend,” Lorik said simply, gesturing to John. “I can tell you’re not mated, but it seems to be pretty serious- I could smell the female on you the moment you walked in.” 

_Oh fuck me sideways,_ he thought as his sister turned redder and redder by the minute and groaning when he heard the hiss of rage coming from his comm- immediately, John wondered if it would be possible to fry every single one of them where they stood. “It’s not what you think,” he said weakly, knowing that no one was going to believe him. “We’re just-”

“Oh, you don’t have to justify your relationship to me,” Lorik replied, waving a hand dismissively at John. “Blowing off steam is common for us turians- just make sure you don’t get too attached unless you plan to mate this girl.” 

“This is not fucking happening,” John growled, watching as his sister collapsed against the table, her shoulders shaking with laughter. “I swear to god, I should’ve stayed on the goddamn ship.”


	18. Layers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets into Peak 15 and decides to do a favor for a scientist in there

_ _

* * *

“I should be driving,” Jane grumbled, sitting next to Garrus, who was shivering profusely. As she glanced over at the obviously freezing turian, she placed a hand on his leg. “You didn’t have to come, you know,” she said quietly. Wrex was sitting on his other side, trying his best to not look like he was sandwiching Garrus between the two of them to keep him warm- no matter how low her voice was, she knew he would hear her anyway. “I would’ve been fine, big guy.” 

“I’m not leaving you,” he ground out, pulling her closer to him. “My job is to be at your six, Jane- I can’t do that if I’m on the ship.”

“You also can’t do that if you’re a turian popsicle,” Jane replied, carefully checking him over. His mandibles were stiff and barely moved when he talked, letting her know just how miserable he really was. “What matters most is that you’re safe.”

“While this is all very touching,” John called out from the seat across from them, glaring at them from the other bench, “don’t we need to be figuring out what to do when we get inside? Something happened up there… and I’m quite sure it’s not an influx of cuddly kittens.”

“Judging by the fact that we’ve been popping geth left and right, I’d agree.” Jane glanced over at Ash, who was manning the canon while Nihlus worked to keep the car steady through the treacherous conditions. “Something is definitely going on out here.”

“And with Kryik driving, we might all live to figure out what it is,” John retorted, earning himself an eye roll from Jane. “These roads are a shitshow- look, that vehicle over there is down… and you weren’t even driving it, Jane Brain.” 

“Go to hell, you big baby” she retorted, earning a chuckle from the two men next to her. Though she’d never admit it, Jane was glad Nihlus was driving- from where she was sitting, her husband did not look good. They’d gotten out the car once to handle some troops that were giving them a bit of trouble, and though she’d insisted he stay inside, the stubborn bastard had hopped out after her. While he was still just as deadly as ever, she could tell he was being affected- his hands had started to shake and his normally sharp eyes were somewhat glazed over. Petty squabbles be damned, she’d instantly assigned Ash to the cannon and taken a seat- their usual pissing matches could wait until after they were safely out of the storm. 

“How much further?” Liara asked nervously, glancing around at the eerily quiet conditions. They hadn’t encountered much resistance in a while, which was putting them all on edge. “If this is happening out here, I shudder to think about the state of the facility.” 

“My advice? Don’t,” Nihlus said darkly. “There are too many unknowns and we’ll find out what’s going on soon enough.” He sighed, then glanced back at Jane for a moment. “Looks like the garage is up ahead… is everyone ready?”

“Ready as we’ll ever be,” Jane remarked through gritted teeth, watching as the turian next to her nodded as well. “Time to get inside and ask your mother some questions, Liara.” 

_ _

* * *

“This place was wrecked,” Ash said in a low voice as they crept through the quiet facility. “Whatever happened, happened quick.” 

“And it’s not the geth,” Nihlus remarked, heading into the center of the room and watching his breath solidify in the air. “For a lockdown this massive, something had to have escaped… and it’s alive.” 

Jane looked at him for a moment with concern, but she took a moment to reload her gun. “What makes you say that?” 

“Because this is a human facility,” he replied, looking around the disheveled room and listening closely for any unusual sounds, “and they turned off the heat.” 

“Maybe they just wanted to save money,” John muttered, cramming the last of his protein bar in his mouth. “Villany isn’t cheap, guys.” 

He almost told the man to stop wasting rations and focus, but Nihlus realized that John had to be extremely nervous- _he doesn’t want to take a chance on passing out in the middle of a fight,_ he mused as he reloaded his gun. “Maybe so… but geth don’t care about temperature.”

“Shit,” Williams muttered, glancing around the room nervously. “What do we do?”

“We push on,” Jane replied grimly, her face pinched and her posture rigid. “We know the matriarch is here, so we’ve got no choice- everyone ready?” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” John grumbled, cautiously moving forward. “Let’s get this done.”

As soon as they began to move, Nihlus paused, glancing over at the turian and the krogan- from the looks on their faces, they had heard the same thing he did. “Everyone, take cover!” 

From his left, he heard an ear-splitting shriek. _“SPACE ROACH!”_ John screamed, using his biotics and tossing the creature across the room, causing its body to hit the wall with a sickening thud, leaving a slimy green trail as it slid to the floor. “Nope,” John spat, his face completely pale as he began to shake furiously, “none of you fuckers said anything about giant fucking space roaches- I’m out. Thanks, but no thanks- I’ll be waiting for you in the Mako.”

Nihlus headed over to the carcass, his nostrils burning with the scent of the creature’s blood. After examining the body, he glanced over at the others. “Technically, it would be closer to a spider, John.” 

“Don’t. Care,” John retorted, standing behind Wrex. “ _That_ is a roach. I didn’t like them as a kid and I _damn_ sure don’t like them when they can eat me!” 

“Then don’t let it eat you,” Wrex said simply. “Problem solved.”

“Your biotics seem to be quite effective against them,” Nihlus said, glancing at the dead creature again. “Commander, I would suggest John and Liara will take point.”

John just looked at Nihlus as if he'd lost his mind. “What part of ‘I’m not fucking going’ are you missing?” he yelled, looking aghast. “Did your translator stop working or something- pick someone else!” 

“No,” he said simply, taking a protein bar from Liara and tossing a piece of it into the puddle of blood. He watched with dismay as the bar instantly began to dissolve, then turned back to the others. “We must be careful- their blood is poisonous.”

“Are you fucking _kidding_ me!” John screamed. He tried to head back outside, but Wrex clamped a hand on his shoulder, rooting him in place. “I _hate_ this,” he moaned, shaking furiously. “I _hate_ bugs- you know this, Janey!”

“I know,” Jane said, walking over and whispering something in his ear. After a few moments, the man shot her a look, but she gave him one right back. “I need you with me, Johnny,” she said, her voice so soft he could barely hear it. “Keep me safe, ok?” 

“I should be asking you to keep _me_ safe,” he grumbled, gripping her hand tightly. “Out of _all_ the things, it had to be fucking space roaches…”

“Space _spiders_ ,” Nihlus corrected, ignoring the scathing look the young man gave him.

_ _

* * *

Now that they had gotten all the systems back online and killed wave after wave of the bugs the scattered notes called rachni, the team was finally able to access the tram and leave the station. As they took a seat and tried to catch their breath, Jane glanced around the car, trying her best not to laugh at her brother- the man was doing his best to hide it, but everyone could see that he was shaking like a leaf. However, to Jane, his reactions weren’t all that surprising- ever since they were kids, John had been terrified of bugs. _Having to deal with wave after wave of these bastards has to be doing a number on his nerves_ , Jane thought as they got off the tram. I _think we’re all going to have to sit down and have a drink after this._

“You!” A man shouted suddenly, causing Jane to whip her head around to find the owner, “what are you doing here- this facility is locked down!”

“Trying to figure out what’s happening down here,” Jane called back, looking over at Nihlus. “We need to find the matriarch- is she in here?”

The man stared at her for a moment, then nodded. “She’s in the hot labs,” he said, only to be interrupted by a scream from one of the guards. “Shit- we've got incoming!”

Suddenly, the insects began to swarm the tunnel- without another word, Jane turned to her team. “Rachni!" she screamed, pistol at the ready. "John, Liara, take these bastards out!” 

Before she could blink, John and Liara had gotten most of the rachni handled. “I _hate_ these fuckers,” John howled, slumping against the wall. “If I never see these bastards again, it will be too soon!” 

“You and me both,” the man replied, looking her over with interest. “Name’s Ventralis," he said, his voice sounding dry and shaky- even though they had just come out of one heck of an encounter, Jane could tell it wasn't the fight that had caused it. "Thanks for the assist…” 

“Shepard,” Jane replied, glancing around at her team- something about this whole situation wasn’t sitting right with her. “You were saying something before the attack?” 

“Yeah, Benezia,” Ventralis replied, reaching in his pocket and producing a card. “She’s down in the hot labs.” 

“What’s this way?” Nihlus asked, pointing down the corridor.

“The science station- it’s the only place besides the labs we managed to secure,” the guard said, slumping against a crate and wiping his brow. “We’ve been here for days trying to hold those bastards back. We’d move, but some people are under quarantine back there- can’t take the risk of transporting them- got some eggheads back there working on a cure.”

“I’d like to see if I can help,” Jane replied, glancing over at Nihlus- the turian gave a slight incline of his head. “Can you send word if you see the Matriarch before I get back?” 

“Might want to get down there yourself,” Ventralis said, glancing over at her team. “I can’t spare anyone to leave this post.” 

“He’s a scientist,” Jane said, pointing to Nihlus. “I’ve been trying to get him to this facility for a long time- I assume it’s so he can help.” She stared at the captain, her arms crossed. “If he can help save lives, then the matriarch is just going to have to wait.” 

“Understood,” Ventralis replied. “Just know that if you go into the quarantine area, I can’t let you out until you’ve been scanned and cleared- there’s no way I’m letting that bug run through any more folks out here.” 

Jane nodded, then turned around and headed into the corridors. As usual, John and Liara took the lead, while Wrex, Ash, and Garrus brought up the rear. “Did you see what I saw, Nih?” Jane asked quietly, knowing the ones who needed to hear could still do so. “Tell me I’m not crazy.” 

“The heavy stim usage? The twitchiness? The eagerness to get us in the labs?” Nihlus nodded, then glanced back at the guards for a moment. “Your instincts aren’t wrong- something is amiss with them.” 

“I want to see what’s going on with everyone back here,” Jane murmured, watching as John and Liara paused at the entrance. “If people are sick, we do need to help, but if it’s all a trap…” 

“Then we take ‘em all out,” Wrex replied, confirming that they had heard every word of their conversation. “Best to do it in batches, anyway.” 

_ _

* * *

Garrus was uneasy as they headed into the quarantined lab- the team had scattered around the station, trying to figure out just what was going on around there, but all they could determine was that most of the people there were a bunch of scared and tired scientists. “This mission just keeps getting better and better,” he muttered as the door locked behind them. “Now that we’re all alone and locked in the creepy biohazard, does anyone care to share why we just lied and said our dead spectre is a scientist?” 

“Because I am an unknown, and your mate thinks those guards are hiding something,” Nihlus said smoothly. “And I agree with her- the heavy stim usage, the eagerness to get us in the labs… it doesn’t add up.” 

“Great,” he replied, sighing. “And now you mean to tell me that we’re locked into a potentially toxic lab- I’m starting to wish I’d sided with John and waited at the Mako.”

John let out an exasperated sigh, then threw up his hands. “That’s what _I’ve_ been saying this entire time!” 

“Pipe down,” Jane said as they made their way deeper into the labs. Garrus scanned the room, but found nothing- the air was still and heavy, making him even more nervous. “Personally, I’m inclined to trust the scientist who says the place is safe instead of the over-stressed junkie with a gun.”

Garrus didn’t argue- instead, he moved closer to Jane’s side and relaxed a little as she placed a hand on his arm while they moved through the dimly lit labs. “What are we looking for,” he asked, scanning the room. “I don’t suppose anyone here is an actual scientist and just happens to know how to create a cure for a biotoxin.” 

“The doctor said the notes for it should be in a terminal somewhere,” Jane said, glancing around the room. “Everyone pair up- let’s search this place and grab anything that might be useful,” she said, turning to look at the turian next to her. “We got a boatload of sick people upstairs that could probably use some things from down here.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Nihlus replied, turning to Ash. “Williams, you’re with me, Liara, you go with Wrex and John.” The spectre turned to Jane with a slight nod of his head, his expression obscured by his helmet. “We’ll keep our comms on in case you need us.”   
  
Jane nodded, then turned off her mic as she and Garrus began to make their way toward the back of the lab. “Have you noticed that Nihlus keeps pairing himself up with Ash?” Jane asked quietly as she stopped in front of a storage locker, examining the lock with interest. “Why he keeps doing that to himself is beyond me.”

Raising his brow-plates, Garrus turned off his mic as well. “Turian military technique,” he replied. “You stick close to troublesome recruits- they’re less likely to challenge or mess things up if they’re being watched over.”

“Sounds like a lot of work- we just drum them out,” Jane remarked as she got the locker open. “Saves everyone time.”

“Waste of good resources,” Garrus replied, working on opening a locked crate- after he bypassed the security, he collected the meds that were inside. “Everyone serves in the Hierarchy, remember? If you can reform them with a little supervision, you gain an asset- if that happens, it’s worth the work.”

“If he can do that, the man is a miracle worker,” Jane replied. “Right now, I’m just shocked he’s managed to get her to keep the peace.”

“That’s mostly because he’s been keeping her separate from your brother,” Garrus said as he scanned the small room. “Is it terrible that I want to be there when they finally do get to chat?”

“You and me both,” Jane replied, then turned her mic back on. “Any luck?”

“I think we may have found something,” Liara said. “There’s a terminal with some research notes on it.”

“We’re on our way over,” Garrus replied, shaking his head as his wife stuffed her armor compartments with her newfound gains. “Any trouble out there?”

“Silent as a tomb,” John answered, his voice flat over the comms. “I feel bad saying this, but I don’t think that’s a good thing, guys.”

“Me neither,” Jane said as she settled into the terminal to read the research notes. She paused for a minute, muttering to herself as she skimmed the information on the screen, then sighed. “Liara, do you think we can do this?” 

“You’re asking me?” the asari squeaked, backing away from the terminal. “I study history, not chemistry, Shepard- I’m not that kind of scientist.” 

“Give it to me,” John said wearily, giving Jane a miserable look as he walked over to the terminal. “You know I can do it.” 

His mate turned to her brother, her eyes sad. “Johnny,” she said quietly, “I didn’t mean-”

“Hey, you always told me to own my shit, right?” Reluctantly, Jane got up from the seat and let John slide in. “Time to put some of those old skills to use, I guess.” 

Garrus gave Jane a look, but this was clearly something of importance. Instead of answering, she just shook her head, resting a hand on John’s shoulder and whispering in his ear. “Do you think you can do it?” 

“Yeah,” he said quietly, glancing over to the machine next to him. “The doc was right- long as we have the ingredients, mixing it should be pretty simple.” John moved over to the machine, then glanced over at the compartments. “All we have to do is make sure we have the right concentration of ingredients- I can do that.” 

“Do you need anything?” Garrus asked, hating to see his partner look so upset- _looks like there’s going to be a line for conversations with John Shepard,_ he thought. _Seems like there’s a lot we don’t know about the boy scout._

“Nah,” he said, staring at the machine. “Just some quiet… and no more bugs,” he added quickly, fiddling with the machine for a minute, then sighing when the machine beeped, ejecting a vial of liquid. “Like riding a bike,” he said sadly, tucking it into a compartment in his armor. “It’s amazing the things you don’t forget.”

“I know, but it’s for a good cause,” Jane said softly, hugging him around the waist. “Come on… we gotta get that upstairs.” 

Suddenly, the room wasn’t silent anymore- Garrus could hear the sounds of movement. Cutting his eyes to the spectre, Nihlus nodded, grabbing Liara and yanking her into one of the back rooms. “We’ve got company,” he said quietly, not trying to alert the intruders to their presence. “Be careful, Jane.” 

Stiffening up, Jane let out a deep breath as the elevator doors opened, revealing two asari and some geth troopers brandishing weapons behind them. “You ready?” 

Garrus nodded, training his attention on the asari who had been upstairs with the scientists. “I’m always ready, Jane.”


	19. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finds the Matriarch in the labs... and some other things as well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy N7 day- woot!!!! I had to make sure I got this chapter out- I just couldn't let a day like this go by without a post!

_ _

* * *

The Asari just stared at them, a cold smile on her face. “How nice of you to gather here for me… saves me the trouble of trying to lure you somewhere else to kill you- Benezia will be most pleased with me for eliminating the threat.” 

Williams rolled her eyes- for the first time, Jane found herself agreeing with her. “Kinda funny you actually think you and your bullshit army have a shot against us.” 

The scientist smiled. “And _I_ think it’s funny that you think Saren would station me here if I wasn’t capable of taking out a minor annoyance like yourselves.” She prepped her biotics, a cold sneer spreading across her face. “I would have _far_ more respect for an asari commando if I were you, child.” 

“Go to hell,” John spat vehemently. From the corner of her eye, Jane could see the angry energy rolling over her brother and she cautiously took a step back- she could see that the man was at the limits of his nerves and patience, which never boded well for anyone. “If you were smart, you’d have more respect for a spectre.” 

Before the woman could utter a word, he sent out a wave of energy that ripped the combatants off their feet, flinging them against the wall. Garrus didn't waste a bit of time- taking advantage of the opportunity John had given him, he aimed for the asari and sniped the two commandos, dropping them in a matter of seconds. _Showoff_ , Jane grumbled to herself as she and Ash took out the remaining geth, giving her husband a wink of approval before walking over and inspecting the bodies. “Damn, Johnny,” Jane remarked, glancing over at John as Nihlus and Liara emerged from the room. “Remind me not to piss you off.”

“I’ve been telling you that since we were kids, Jane Brain- why should you start listening now?” He tried to move and stumbled, only to be caught by Wrex. “This doesn’t count,” he grumbled, looking at his feet. “It’s been a long fucking day.”

“Whatever you say,” Wrex replied, helping to steady the man. “All I was gonna say is that you could’ve left some for the rest of us.” 

“I’m sure there will be plenty more,” Nihlus replied, emerging from the back room with Liara in tow. “But, did I hear her correctly?”

“If you heard the crazy assassin say that Saren sent her here, then yes, you did,” Garrus said irritably. “Jane, when we get back, can you pull any of the employment records and see if they’ve been scrubbed?” 

“Happy to,” Jane replied as they headed out, checking to make sure there were no other surprises waiting around the corner for them. “Now I _really_ want to talk to your mom, Liara.” 

“That makes two of us, Commander,” Liara replied, looking back at the lifeless body of the asari scientist. “I don't understand- what would make her do such a thing?” 

“Not sure,” John said darkly as they made their way back to the science lab. “But why don't you make sure to ask the bitch for me?” 

_ _

* * *

As they made their way into the secure labs, Garrus watched the asari standing on the stairs in front of a tank that contained the biggest rachni he’d ever encountered. _John is going to lose his mind,_ he thought, glancing over at the shaking man to his right. _Let’s hope that thing stays inside that glass- otherwise, this man might level this building to kill it._

“They were to be ours,” Benezia said, her tone cool and icy as she turned toward them. “The children of the mother, raised by us to hunt and slay Saren’s enemies.” She glanced over them, her eyes flickering over to the outraged asari standing next to Jane, then gave a derisive laugh. "You may bring whoever you want, Shepard, but it is pointless- I will not be swayed from my path.”

“I didn’t bring your daughter,” Jane hissed, her fists balling up at her sides. “She came because she said the mother she knew wouldn’t stoop so low as to do something like this- is she right?” 

The matriarch sneered. “Oh really?” Benezia looked at Liara, her expression filled with indifference and disdain. “What else have you told them, Liara?” 

Liara stiffened as if she’d been poked with a stick. “What could I say? I already told them that the mother I knew would never do something as heinous as this.” The asari looked at her mother, disgust written on her face. “I don’t need to tell them you’re insane- if I, your naive daughter can see it, I’m sure they can too.” Her face twisted in pain, and Garrus saw Jane rest a hand on her shoulder. “What do you expect me to say? Do I need to tell them how to kill my mother?”

“Might be useful,” Wrex muttered, his eyes darting around the room. “Right now there's too much talking and not enough killing, kid.”

When the krogan’s nostril’s flared, Garrus immediately got the hint and went still- _there’s someone else here_ , he thought as he inhaled, catching the scents of other asari skulking in the shadows. “Kryik,” he said quietly, barely moving his mouth, “we’ve got company.” 

The matriarch continued to belittle her child, enraging Jane and John more and more by the minute. _Thank the spirits for turian hearing._ “I know,” the spectre replied. “She’s giving her team time to set up.” 

Garrus felt his hand twitch at his side, working to keep his body still as he looked around the room. “Plan?” 

“Get ready to kill anything that moves,” the spectre replied tersely. “She’s sending asari commandos after us- I can hear them now.”

“I like the way you think, Kryik,” Wrex rumbled, drawing his gun as the troops stormed into the room. “This sounds like my kind of plan.”

_ _

* * *

“Just how many of these bastards are there!” John yelled, using his biotics to toss a pair of asari commandos into the pit- he was starting to feel the strain of using so much power today, and he could tell he was rapidly approaching his limit. “I’m getting a little tired of doing this by myself, guys!”

“Well, we’re a little bit busy!” Jane shot back, jumping up from cover and taking out one of the snipers above them. “If anyone else feels like jumping in here and taking some of these fuckers down, feel free to do so!”

“Sounds like someone is forgetting who’s ahead,” Garrus said over the comms. Suddenly, two geth tumbled to the ground and John heard his partner chuckle. “Scratch two.”

“You’re all crazy!” Ash screamed as she fired on a sniper, her shot knocking the rifle out of its hands- Nihlus finished it off. “Stop fucking around and kill these bastards!”

Wrex charged a geth, flipping it over his broad shoulders and into the pit below. “Looks like you’re the only one fucking around,” he yelled happily. “Quit playing with your food, Williams!”

Suddenly, they heard the sound of rushing footsteps- before John could move, Liara had raced past them, screaming with rage. “You will not get away with this, Mother!”

John glanced over to his sister, who nodded. Immediately, they rushed toward the platform near the tank, but the matriarch used her biotics and lifted the girl where she stood, drifting her dangerously close to the edge of the bottomless cavern they had been using to dispatch her troops. “Take another step and I toss her into the pit!” Benezia screamed. “Saren is unstoppable and I am filled with his light!” 

John felt powerless- he had no idea if he could catch the girl in time if the matriarch dropped her. “Benezia, that’s your daughter!” Jane screamed, her eyes going wide with panic as Liara dangled helplessly in the air. “Don’t do this!” 

“Foolish girl,” the matriarch snarled. “You think I would betray Saren for _you?_ I will not betray him!” Benezia took a step forward, her gaze focused on Liara. “You will pay for your insolence with your life, child! You will-”

Before they could make a move, the matriarch’s eyes went wide. _“LIARA!”_ She swung the girl away from the pit, sending her crashing into Wrex as she crumpled to her knees, her hands pressed against the sides of her head. “You must listen,” Benezia croaked, holding out a hand to stop them. “Saren is in my mind- I’m fighting the indoctrination, but I won’t win.” Slowly, she staggered to her feet, her eyes wide as she scanned the room. “Liara! Liara, where are you?”

“With me,” Wrex growled, helping the shaking asari forward and snarling at the matriarch. “Gimme one good reason why your mate shouldn’t put a bullet in her head, Commander.” 

John was inclined to agree, but Jane put up a hand. “What the fuck is indoctrination? Looks to me like you were dead set on killing your kid, Benezia.” 

The matriarch grimaced. “It is Saren,” she wheezed. “People are not themselves around him. You idolize him, worship him- your only purpose is to serve him.” She glanced at Liara, the regret clear on her face. “You would do anything for him.”

“That’s strange,” Nihlus replied, walking forward and taking off his helmet- at that moment, John knew without a shadow of a doubt that the asari had no chance of leaving this room. “I’ve known Saren for years- this doesn’t sound like an ability he has.” 

The matriarch must’ve realized the same thing John had- her eyes went wide as she stared at the turian she’d thought to be dead. “The key is Sovereign,” she said quickly. “It’s a dreadnought of incredible size and power- but the ship... does things to you. The angles and rooms make your thoughts echo strangely- the longer you’re there, the more you believe Saren is correct… it twists you, bends you to his will.” She dropped her gaze, her eyes twitching. “It’s subtle- it happens too fast to stop it… I knew the danger, but I thought I could resist… I thought I could stop him.” Benezia shook her head, then took a deep breath. “Instead, I became his tool.” 

“Why are you here?” Jane asked, her hand hovering above her pistol- while he was proud of his sister for trying to gather intel, he was also glad to see that her trigger-happy edge was still intact, just waiting for this to go sideways. “What did Saren want?” 

“The location of the Mu Relay,” Benezia said, handing Jane a disk. “The rachni queen knew the location… I took it from her by force.”

“But why does he want it?” Nihlus asked, his voice more strained than John had ever heard it. “What’s so important that would make him go through all this?” John could hear the unspoken question in the spectre’s voice- _what would make him betray me?_

Judging by the look on her face, Benezia could hear it too. “He’s looking for the conduit,” she replied, giving Nihlus a look of regret. “If I could tell you more, I would, but he did not share his counsel with me.” She gestured to the disk in Jane’s hand. “That disk contains the coordinates- I sent them to Saren just before you arrived… I am sorry.” Suddenly, the matriarch let out an ear-piercing scream, then dropped to her knees. “He is clawing at my mind!” Benezia screamed, her eyes going wide. “You must stop him… and me.”

“Mother!” Liara screamed, trying to rush forward- Wrex put out a hand to stop her. “Mother, please fight!” 

“I cannot fight anymore,” she wheezed. “I will never be free of his fingers in my mind- my only option is death.” 

“You _can’t!_ ” Liara yelled, doing her damndest to move the krogan. Thankfully, Wrex didn’t budge- instead, he used his meaty arm to keep Liara back, though she fought and struggled against him. “You can’t leave me like this, Mother!” 

“You have always made me proud,” Benezia replied with a sad smile, her body convulsing with the strain. “Live well, Little Wing.” 

“Die well, Matriarch,” Nihlus replied, aiming his pistol at the asari. “May the spirits guide you along your final journey.” 

She nodded and closed her eyes- without another word, Nihlus took the shot, sending a bullet right between her eyes and ending the asari, the light from her eyes fading as she slumped over against the tank. _I don’t know if I could’ve done it_ , John thought, turning to Liara, who was quietly sobbing into Wrex’s chest. _That’s not a shot I think I could take._

Swallowing, John looked around at the others. “Um, I think we should leave,” he said quietly, unable to look at Liara anymore. “Let’s… just go, ok.” 

Jane walked over to the girl, putting an arm around her and holding her as she continued to sob. “Yeah,” she said softly, looking up at Nihlus- no doubt she had questions about what had just happened back there. “I’m done with this whole thing.”

Suddenly, there was a thump from behind them- they turned around, only to see one of the dead asari women slide up against the tank. _First space roaches and now zombies,_ John thought, grabbing his pistol and aiming it at the dead woman. _I swear to god, I fucking hate this place._

_ _

* * *

Jane saw the body slide up the glass, but didn’t take the shot- she had no idea what kind of liquid was inside that tank, and she didn’t want to take the chance of cracking the glass and spraying them all with it. _The spider things had poison blood_ , she thought as she stared at the dead asari, her eyes open yet lifeless. _Who knows what that thing is swimming around in?_

“This one serves as our voice,” the dead asari intoned, staring at Jane. “We cannot sing in these low spaces- your musics are colourless.” 

“Um… why is there a dead woman talking,” John croaked, looking back and forth at the asari jittering like a fish on a hook. “We shot her… I saw you do it, Janey.”

“But _I_ don’t miss,” Garrus growled, his pistol at the ready. “Step back from her, Jane.” 

“This one is on the edge of life and death,” the dead asari replied, her voice stuttering across the words. “We cling to that edge and use her.” 

Jane held up a hand to silence the crew. As terrifying as it was, the dead woman hadn’t made any moves to attack them- she had been a far greater threat in life. Soon, curiosity got the better of her, and she turned back to the corpse. “Who is we?” 

“We are the mother,” the asari replied, her eyes trained on Jane. “We sing for those you silenced… the tainted ones who can no longer hear the songs.” The body jerked for a moment, then shifted to place its hand on the glass. “We are rachni- we are their queen.” 

A low moan left John’s throat, then he staggered back against the wall, his face pale as death. “ _Are you fucking telling me that the space roaches can take over dead bodies now!"_ He whirled to Jane, then back to the group. “For fuck's sake, would someone _please_ kill this thing with fire already!” 

“This one is not dead,” the rachni replied. “But her song is ending. The children we birthed were stolen before they ever learned to sing- they are lost to the silence.” She turned back to Jane, her movements halting. “You must end their suffering- they will only cause harm as they are.” 

“Gladly,” John muttered, earning an elbow from Jane. “What? I don’t understand why we even have the murder bugs around here in the first goddamn place,” he grumbled. “Who thought it would be a good idea to let these fuckers loose at all?” 

“The needle-men,” the queen replied. “They stole our eggs to turn them into beasts of war. They cannot sing- they go mad from the silence. I am the oldest and the last- I am comfortable with the quiet. However, they are but children- the fear of the nothing has shattered their minds.” 

Despite the monstrous appearance of the creature in the tank, Jane felt an overwhelming sense of sorrow. “Makes sense,” she said slowly. “We were like that too, Johnny,” she said quietly. “If it weren’t for you… I wouldn’t have made it. I would’ve been like them… scared, lost, and alone.” 

Thankfully, John didn’t say a word- instead, Liara put a hand on her shoulder, her presence calming and reassuring. “Your children don’t reason like you- we’d have to put them down anyway,” Jane said quietly. “And I think you know that… so what else do you want?” 

“To be free,” the queen replied. “We want to know the color of your song, young one. Will it be bright and hopeful, or will you condemn us to silence? What will your music be?”

Jane looked around, but John just stared at her. “Are we really even having this fucking conversation?” He threw up his hands, then spun around in a circle. “There is a _guarded fucking facility_ here because of the murder bug- _for the love of all that is holy, you cannot release the space roach, Jane!”_

“The rachni wars were bloody, Shepard,” Wrex said darkly. “Took the krogan to wipe them out before- who’s to say she won’t go nutty and try to pick up where the others left off?”

The queen shook her head. “I was only an egg during the war- I do not hear the sour notes of my ancestors,” the rachni replied. “I only wish to find a place to teach my children harmony, one that is hidden away from the noise. If they understand the harmonies, learn the songs, perhaps we can return. But only then.” 

Nihlus looked at the rachni queen with interest. “What is this sour note you speak of?”

“It was… _oily_ ,” the queen stuttered. “A tone from space hushed one voice after another. It forced us to sing its song, the bitter melody reaching from one end to the other.” She turned back to Jane, her unseeing gaze focused on her. “I do not hear the note- no one remains from the singing planet. The sky is silent.”

Closing her eyes, Jane sighed- John let out a gasp. “ _No_ ,” he said furiously. “You cannot do this, Janey- that is a species that started a _war_! We can’t let it go!” 

“What do you think humans do,” Jane asked, staring at her brother. “Do you think we all deserve to die for the wars our ancestors started? Do all turians deserve to die because of Shanxi?” She turned to the queen, then let out a deep breath. “I can’t murder a whole species, Johnny, and deep down, I don’t think you can, either… or could you?” 

John stared at her for a moment, his breath coming in ragged bursts. His eyes were so wide that for a second, Jane thought he was going to leap over her and hit the controls anyway- instead, he turned to the wall, punching it furiously and sending a metallic clang echoing throughout the facility. _“Fuck this shit!”_

John stormed off down the hall- Wrex followed him. Garrus, however, came close and rested his hand on her shoulder. “It’s your call, Jane,” he said quietly. “I’m with you either way.” 

Nodding, she turned to the queen, closing her eyes. “You have your freedom,” she said quietly. “Use it well.” 

The queen paused, tilting the head of the asari to look at them with confusion before bowing to Jane. “We will remember,” it intoned. “We break the quiet by singing of your forgiveness to our children. We will show them the kindness you have shown us.” 

“I certainly hope so,” Jane replied, watching as the dead asari keyed in items on the terminal, then crumpled to the ground. As the tank drained, the rachni skittered away, leaving them all alone in the silence. “Did I do the right thing?” Jane asked quietly, staring up at Garrus before glancing over to Nihlus and Liara. “Or did I just fuck us all over?” 

Garrus held her tight as they started to walk away, placing a light kiss on her forehead. “I don’t know the answer to that,” he said softly, glancing back at Nihlus for a moment. “But could you have lived with yourself if you’d done it?” 

Jane didn’t even have to think about the answer. “I couldn’t,” she replied, her voice barely a whisper. “I deserved to live,” she croaked, finally able to say the words out loud after all this time. “She did too.” 

“Then it was the right call,” Garrus said quietly, lightly rubbing her back as they made their way to the tram. “We may all have to deal with the consequences, but no one else has to live with making that call but you. As long as you made the choice you can live with… then I’m proud of you for it.”


	20. In the quiet spaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is back on the Normandy, but they're all a little shaken by the events from earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a great N7 day- it was my first time celebrating it, and I can safely say it did NOT disappoint (REMASTER 2021!!)
> 
> Here, enjoy a little time with the Normandy crew- we deserve it!

_ _

* * *

Sol stood in the hallway, dumbfounded- she’d tried to say hi to John, but he just stormed past her without a word, heading straight into his room and closing the door before she’d even had the chance to speak. _What the hell happened down there?_

As she stared at the door with hurt and confusion, a deep sigh came from behind her. “It’s not you, little turian,” Wrex said quietly, guiding her back to her room. “Today wasn’t exactly the best day.” 

“What happened?” Sol glanced up at the old krogan for a moment, then let out a nervous-sounding trill. “Is he hurt? Does he need the doctor?”

“Calm down,” Wrex replied, chuckling as he took a seat in the chair, the metal creaking under his weight. “Your boyfriend is fine... physically.”

Sol scowled. “He’s _not_ my boyfriend.” The turian let out a soft huff, causing the kitten to let out a soft meow- Wrex just laughed as she picked up JC and began petting him softly. “So what’s wrong with him?”

The krogan sighed, then held up a hand. “Old memories, space spiders, talking dead people…” Then he looked Sol straight in the eye, making her swallow under the intensity of his stare. “You.” 

“ _Me_?” Sol’s voice came out as a high-pitched chirp. “What did I do?” 

“I think that’s the million-credit question,” Wrex replied, his red eyes glued to Sol. “What’s going on with you and the whelp, little turian?” 

“Nothing,” she replied, looking down at the kitten. “We’re just friends, Wrex.” 

“That so?” Wrex shifted in the chair, then took a deep sniff. “So why’s his scent all over your bed… and on you?” Sol stared blankly at him, but Wrex just laughed, ignoring her confusion. “I smelled you on him this morning... your brother did too. Now, I’m not judging,” he said as she started to hum with embarrassment, “the runt isn’t bad… for a human, but you might want to put that on pause for a while- he and Williams have a history, kid.” 

“We didn’t do anything,” she mumbled, feeling the sides of her neck start to burn. “Johnny was in a bad place last night- we just stayed together and talked. Nothing happened,” she said firmly, crossing her arms and staring at the old krogan. “We just slept… that’s _all_.” 

“Hmmm... was that all you wanted?” Wrex asked, looking at her with interest. “Cause it seems to me like you two pyjacks are protesting a whole lot over nothing.” 

“Because it’s _embarrassing_ ,” Sol said grumpily, glaring at her feet. “I’m allowed to have friends. I’m allowed to be there for my friends- I don’t see what the problem is.” 

“Did I say there was a problem?” Wrex asked, his tone tinted with amusement. “I just made a statement- you’re the one getting bent out of shape about it.” Then he leaned forward and grinned. “Plus, you never answered my question, little turian.” 

“That’s because I don’t have an answer,” Sol said honestly. “Johnny is my best friend- he’s been the only one around that listens, cares about me, doesn’t have an agenda, and trusts me with stuff. For now, that’s all that matters. If he still wants to be with that… _woman_ ,” Sol spat out the words, barely able to let such a thought enter her head, “then I’ll be there for him… and I will claw her damn eyes out if she even _thinks_ about hurting him.” 

“If that's the case, then you’re probably the one he needs to talk to right now,” Wrex said mildly. “Like I said… lotta shit went down today… the runt could use a friend.”

“He didn’t want to talk to me,” Sol said miserably, lowering her head. “You saw him- he blew right past without saying a word. Johnny’s never like that with me,” she whispered, smiling only when JC headbutted her. “He must be furious about people thinking he’s sleeping with a turian.” 

“I don’t think so,” Wrex replied, getting up and patting her on the shoulder. “Look, the commander and your brother have a lot to deal with after the crapshow down there today, and I know you don’t want that woman downstairs piling even more shit in his lap when he’s already in a mood- so you need to go check on the kid.” The krogan just stared at Sol for a moment, then shook his head as he headed for the door. “Cause if you don’t, then I'm starting to think you’re not as good of a friend as you say you are.”  


_ _

* * *

Jane watched as John stormed back onto the ship, pushing past her without a single word. _He’s really upset_ , she thought sadly, watching him head toward his room. _I wish he’d talk to me._

“Do you need me here?” Garrus asked, startling her out of her thoughts. “I know you have some things to look over, but…” He gave a shrug, his calm demeanor betrayed by the rumble in his chest. “I just want to make sure you’re ok.” 

Jane finally gave her husband a real smile. “I know you’re dying to fix the damage I did to the Mako,” she teased. “Go- Nih and I have to look over these coordinates anyway.”

“It’s ok,” he replied, wrapping his arm around her and letting out a soft hum. “I can help- we’ve got a few files to go through, so I might as well make myself useful.” 

_You just want to keep an eye on Nihlus_ , Jane thought with a smirk, leaning her head against his chest and sighing. Though she knew her mate's true motives, it didn’t change the fact that as usual, Garrus was right- the day had been trying for her as well. “I won’t say no to the help,” she replied, craning her neck to stare up at him. “You’re at least _somewhat_ decent with tech.” 

Before he could offer a response, Nihlus cleared his throat. “Williams, can you take Miss T’Soni to the mess hall and get her something to eat? I’m sure she could use something after all of this.”

For once, Ash didn’t argue- she simply placed a hand on Liara’s shoulder and smiled. “C’mon- I know the food sucks down there, but I think I can manage to get something to taste decent.” She gave the asari a soft smile, ushering her down the hall. “At least it’ll be better than those protein bars, right?”

As they walked away, Jane glanced at Garrus before turning to Nihlus, her mouth practically dragging to the floor. “What… the fuck… was that?”

Nihlus just chucked as they headed into the CIC, letting Jane and Garrus go first. “Contrary to popular belief, the woman is not a monster… she just has an irrational amount of distaste for you.” When Jane scoffed, Nihlus raised his brow plates as he settled into a seat. “For the life of me, I can’t imagine why.” 

“Very funny,” Jane shot back, glaring at the turian. Her traitor of a husband had turned away from her, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “You two are assholes,” she grumbled, putting in the disk and staring at the screen. “So what do we do now?” 

“You need to call the council and report the death of the matriarch,” Nihlus replied. “And also let them know about the rachni.” 

“You know, you could spring back to life,” Jane said pointedly. “You are the senior spectre- shouldn’t this be coming from you?” 

“This is your mission,” Nihlus replied softly. “I’m only here to help.” He sighed, then tapped his finger on the console for a second. “However, something the asari said concerned me- she said she was appointed to the facility by Saren. However, he’s not listed anywhere in the documentation.”

“Betcha if I pull up those files, I’m going to find that data scrub,” Jane grumbled- sure enough, there was a marker in the employment files. “Seriously? You mean to tell me that no one stopped and went “hey, maybe we should look at how much shady shit this one guy seems to be into?”

“He was a spectre, Jane.,” Nihlus said wearily, avoiding her gaze. “Doing things that others won’t is part of the job.” Suddenly, Nihlus frowned, turning his head to Garrus, who had been looking over files. “What’s wrong?”

Jane looked at her husband, who had a strangled look on his face. “I can’t believe it,” he hissed. “That bastard was in on this, too?” 

“I’m not following,” Jane said, resting a hand on his shoulder- when he flinched, she instantly jerked away from him. “I’m sorry,” she stammered, “I didn’t mean-”

Realizing what he’d done, Garrus let out a soft trill, reaching out to rest his hand lightly on hers. You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said firmly, returning his gaze to the screen. “But look at this.” 

“It’s a case file,” Jane remarked, staring over the contents. “And it’s… one of yours?” She glanced over it for a second, then frowned. “This is from before John joined- what’s so special about this one?” 

“It was the case that got me assigned to work with John,” Garrus replied, looking down at the screen. “This bastard…Dr. Saleon… was growing organs inside of his workers. Did he care if it killed them? Nope- he’d just hire more. It didn’t matter to him because they were all too poor and desperate to do anything about it.” 

Jane looked horrified. “What the hell? You guys couldn’t catch this son of a bitch?” 

“Oh, I caught him,” Garrus said darkly. “Bastard ran as soon as he got wind that C-Sec was onto him and hopped in a ship. I tried to get them to shoot him down, but C-Sec overrode my order- said he was too close to the Citadel.” When he shook his head and banged his fist on the table, Jane leaned over and wrapped her arm around him. “They let him get away and they transferred me to Chellick’s team so I would shut up about it,” he said hoarsely. “All those people died for _nothing_ because those bastards in charge were too scared to do anything about him!” 

“But they were right not to,” Nihlus said quietly. Jane snapped her head to him, watching as the spectre looked over the file. “The ship _was_ too close to the Citadel- the crash would’ve resulted in hundreds of human casualties.”

The look on her husband’s face was murderous. “Do _not_ talk to me about casualties,” he spat, rising from his seat and leaning over the spectre. “Were _you_ in the interrogation room when the guy started bleeding from the eyes right in front of you? Were _you_ the one who had to tell his wife that her husband died so he could try and make sure they made the rent that month? Did you have to tell a mother her son was found dead in an alley because he’d gotten a ‘job’ with this sadistic son of a bitch?” 

Garrus was practically growling at this point, but Nihlus remained silent, simply staring and letting him continue. “So if you weren’t in there, don’t you _dare_ fucking talk to me about casualties,” he screamed, only stopping when Jane placed a hand on his arm. “I want this bastard,” he seethed, turning to look at Jane. “He’s connected to Saren- you know this data has been scrubbed raw! We need to find him!” 

“And we will,” she replied, glancing over to Nihlus, who nodded. “Go- take a minute and work on the Mako,” Jane said, resting her forehead against his- his heart was beating so fast she was scared he was going to have a heart attack. “I’m going to talk to the council about what we found today, then I’ll go over these files and see what I can find, ok?” He started to protest, but she held his head in her hands. “Look at me,” she commanded, forcing him to stare back at her. “Who am I?”

“My mate,” he said softly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, resting his hands on her waist. “You’re my mate.” 

“That’s right,” she replied, lightly stroking his face. “I will always have your back, understand? Just trust me… let me do this, Garrus- if he’s out there, you know I can find him. Trust me and let me help you, ok?” 

After a few tense moments, Garrus nodded, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Okay,” he murmured, working to keep his voice steady. “I trust you, Jane.”   


_ _

* * *

John was trying to keep himself calm, but his body felt as taut as a guitar string as he laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. _It’s just nerves,_ he told himself, taking a deep breath and trying to relax. _You’ll get over it._

Glancing at the stand next to his bed, he saw the datapad he’d sat there- it was the book he’d been reading with Yeloris for the last few weeks. John often looked forward to their chats- the story was trash and they both knew it, but having a reason to talk to the woman was well worth suffering through the story during his downtime. _I should call her,_ he thought, glancing at the book. _She’d want to know we’re all okay._

Decision made, John dialed Yeloris, hoping that it wouldn’t be too late. When the call didn’t connect right away, he almost hung up. _This was a bad idea,_ he told himself. _I’m not Sol or Garrus- what right do I have to bother her at this time of night.?_

Just as he was about to disconnect, Yeloris appeared on his screen, her bright blue eyes smiling back at him. “John,” she said kindly, “to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?” 

“Um,” he said, staring around the room and feeling embarrassed. _I’m not her kid… there’s no reason for me to be talking to this woman._ “I just wanted to check-in, you know… give you a call so you knew everyone was fine.” John felt his cheeks going tomato-red with every word- calling her out of the blue was a bad idea. “Um, I didn’t mean to worry you, Yeloris. I’ll… I’ll just tell Sol and Garrus to give you a call tomorrow.”

“ _Or_ ,” she said firmly, staring directly at him, “you could just tell me what’s making my son feel like he can’t talk to me.” 

“Huh?” John just stared at her, trying to figure out what she was talking about. “ Um, Garrus knows he can talk to you, and I know Sol talks with you all the time- what would make you say something like that?”

“You’re being obtuse,” Yeloris said gently, giving him a soft smile. He looked around the room and noticed she was in her favorite chair, a datapad resting nearby- she had probably been reading before he called. “We both know I was referring to you, John.” 

John lowered his head, letting out a deep sigh. “That’s nice, but you don’t have to do that- I know that Janey’s part of the family, not me.” 

She cocked her head at him, then pressed a finger to her lips. “Funny, I seem to remember telling you that you were part of my family… are you calling me senile, John?” 

“No ma’am,” John said quickly, shaking his head. “Not in a million years, Yeloris.” 

She smiled back, and the look was so warm that John wished he could hug her right then. “That’s good... because I’d hate to yell at you for it when you so obviously need someone to talk to.” She shifted in her seat and folded her hands, her gaze unwavering. “What’s troubling you, son?”

“It’s been a long day,” John admitted, sighing as he ran his hands through his hair. “I feel like I’m the biggest fu- freaking joke out here, and all my old mistakes seem to be coming back to bite me.” 

Yeloris didn’t immediately comfort him- she just nodded. “Why would you say that?”

“Well to start, we had to fight a bunch of space roaches,” he grumbled, scowling when the woman started to chuckle. “What gives? I thought moms weren’t supposed to laugh at their children.” 

“If we didn’t laugh at our children, then they wouldn’t live to become adults,” Yeloris replied teasingly, laughing a bit louder when John rolled his eyes. “My apologies,” she said, not sounding the least bit sorry. “Please continue... tell me, why do these ‘space roaches’ upset you so, John?”

“Because,” John replied, his voice wavering. “They remind me of our foster homes.” He paused for a minute, unsure if he should actually continue. “When I was younger, I got in trouble and the woman we were staying with decided to punish me by locking me under a sink.” The turian let out a soft trill and put her hand to her mouth, but she stayed quiet, waiting on him to continue. “I was there for hours, screaming my head off and pounding on the door for them to let me out, but no one came- she’d left,” he said bitterly, wrapping an arm around himself. “Janey was the one who finally found me.” He shuddered, then stared back at his screen, suddenly feeling foolish for even opening his mouth. “Now, every time I see a bug, I just…” John sighed, letting his voice trail off. “It’s stupid, I know.” 

“Oh, darling,” Yeloris said sadly, shaking her head. “I wish there was something I could do to make that all go away, but I cannot… all I can do is offer you my love and support right now.” 

“Yeah, well, past is past,” John replied, desperately trying to shrug off the memory. “But today… it just didn’t feel that way,” he admitted, looking down and picking at a fascinating piece of lint on the bed. “It was like those damn labs were designed to bring up all sorts of creepy little goodies in the back of my mind- every single thing in there felt like it was trying to let out a version of me that I thought I’d buried a long time ago. ”

Even though he couldn’t stop talking, John couldn’t bring himself to look at the woman- he was too scared of what he might see if he did. “I don’t know if I told you this, but I was the one who stayed on Elysium till the troops got there,” he said quietly. “I know I could’ve run- hell, no one would’ve blamed me for it. But even when I knew there was a good chance I was going to die, I still _stayed_!”

John felt like his insides were on fire, but he couldn’t stop- the words were just rolling off his tongue like someone had opened a spigot. “So if I could do _that_ , then why the hell did I try to run today? I don’t understand,” he said pleadingly. “When my _sister_ , the one who saved me, _needed_ me to stand with her, why was my first thought to run? It was a _stupid_ fucking bug- I’m better than that!” 

Finally spent, John looked up, expecting the turian to stare at him with judgment or worse, pity- to his surprise, neither of those emotions was present on her face. “Did you run?” 

He blinked, completely caught off guard by her question. “What?” 

Yeloris didn’t move- her gaze was steady and firm. “The question is the same, John- when confronted with the thing you fear, did you actually run? You said you thought about it- did you do it?”

“No,” he said sullenly. “Wrex stopped me before I could go anywhere.” 

“Oh, I see…” Yeloris nodded, slightly cocking her head as she stared at him. “So, this Wrex carried you all day, did he? That’s strange- you seem rather tense for someone who did not have to fight at all.”   
  
“Very funny,” John replied, frowning at the turian on the screen. “If that were the case, that old battle turtle would still be in here laughing at me.”

“So that means you didn’t run,” Yeloris said, her face breaking into that soft smile again. “You had many opportunities to abandon your duties, but you did not. John, you must remember that bravery comes in many forms.” She let out a soft hum and closed her eyes for a moment, her hands clasped in front of her face. “Being brave is not just standing up in the face of impossible odds, but it is also seeing your fears and standing strong, even when every cell in your body tells you to run away and never look back. You, my son, are brave- never, ever, doubt that.” 

John looked up at the ceiling, willing himself not to cry. “Thanks,” he said hoarsely, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. “That’s really nice of you to say.”

“It’s the truth,” she said firmly, the sharpness of her tone forcing him to look at her. “Perhaps you should become better at listening to the good in you instead of dwelling on the parts you don’t like.” When he winced, Yeloris let out a soft laugh. “You should find my daughter- I’m sure she and that strange creature of hers can offer you a welcome distraction.” 

John gave a grimace, then put his head in his hands. “That’s… been part of the problem with today, actually.” 

Instantly, Yeloris looked concerned. “What’s wrong? Did the two of you have a fight?” 

“Nope,” John said quickly. “It’s just that… everyone on the ship thinks we…” He let his voice trail off, unwilling to even touch on that kind of topic with the woman. “We didn’t,” he clarified, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “We were talking and I fell asleep in her room- apparently, her scent is all over me. People have been teasing me about it all day.”

The turian just gave him a thoughtful look. “Would it be such a bad thing for it to happen?” 

_“Oh, come on!”_ John stared at the woman, aghast. “I am _not_ talking to you about sleeping with your daughter!

“Why? I don't see what the problem is.” Yeloris gave him an innocent look, her mandibles twitching lightly. “She’s done worse, John.” 

Immediately, John stuck his fingers in his ears and closed his eyes. “La la la... I’m not listening to this!” 

“Oh, very well,” she said, giving him an exasperated sigh. “All teasing aside, are the thoughts of others worth more than your friendship?” 

“Hell no,” John said quickly. “Tiny is one of my best friends- she’s one of the few people here that really gets me.” He rubbed his wrists nervously, cringing at the memory of how he blew past her on the way in. “But I was a little bit of a dick to her when I came back today- I might’ve pissed her off.” 

Yeloris just stared at him. “Have you seen her father? I highly doubt that any conversation or lack thereof between the two of you in a brief interaction is even remotely on her emotional scale. Spirits above, it’s far more likely that she thinks _you’re_ upset with her- you know how she is, John.” 

“Yeah, I do,” John said wistfully, staring at the door for a moment, then returning his focus to the screen. “Guess I should go and apologize to her, huh?”

“I knew you were brave.” Yeloris let out a pleased-sounding hum and smiled, her blue eyes staring at him proudly. “John Shepard, you’re a good man,” she said seriously. “I don’t ever want you to think otherwise, understand?” 

“Understood,” John answered, staring in awe at the woman who had made his world make sense again. “Thanks, Yeloris… for everything.”

“Anytime,” she replied, her sub-vocals rumbling with amusement. “Now get off this call and apologize to Sol… but call me again whenever you like.”

“I will,” John said quickly, smiling at the turian on the screen. “I promise.” 


	21. Popcorn is a snack best served with butter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tali and Sol go to the mess hall, but run into some trouble along the way

_ _

* * *

Sol made her way to John’s room, but she could hear voices inside- not wanting to disturb him, she sighed and turned around, practically running face-first into Tali. “I’m so sorry!” Sol cried, anxiously patting at her friend. “I should have been more careful!” 

“It’s ok,” Tali replied, laughing as she placed a hand on her shoulder. “I was just wondering if you and JC wanted to come and chat with me for a little while- it's getting a little lonely down there by myself.” 

“Sure,” Sol replied, turning to her room and opening the door, grabbing the harness and placing it on the kitten. “I was waiting to talk to John, but he’s a little busy- maybe I should make myself a cup of kava in the meantime.” She smiled at the quarian, feeling grateful for the company. "Would you like to have some with me?"

"Of course," Tali replied, crouching down to pat JC on the head. “Is everything ok?” 

“I suppose,” she said wearily, leading the kitten down the corridor, earning a few stares from the crew as the three passed by. “Seems as if the mission was stressful, but there were no injuries- couldn’t have been that bad, right?” 

Tali shrugged, leaning down to pick up JC as they entered the mess hall. “I guess.” She sighed, running her hands gently over his head. “You know the Commander fairly well,” she said slowly. “I was wondering if she’d be willing to talk to me… or let me go on a mission or two with them- I’m hoping to find something that might be suitable for a pilgrimage gift out here.” The quarian turned her head to Sol, letting out a soft giggle. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to let me take JC as my gift, would you?” 

“A flotilla is no place for a kitten,” Sol retorted, swatting at her playfully. “And anyway, why do you need to bring back a gift? I’m afraid I’m not really clear on the concept of the pilgrimage.”

The quarian just laughed. “When we are old enough, we leave our birth ships to find a new crew to live with- the gift we bring back is our way to show that we won’t prove to be a burden on the new ship.”

Sol cocked her head at the girl as she headed over to the kava machine. “So...it’s a gift you give your new clan leaders, then.” As the drinks began to brew, she grinned at her friend. “I adore you, but I’m not giving you my friend, Tali.” 

Tali just chuckled, leaning against the counter. “I suppose… besides, I don’t think they’d appreciate another mouth to feed, even one as cute as this one- he has no value.” 

“I beg your pardon!” Sol said, giving Tali a mock angry glare. “JC has plenty of value- he keeps me warm and is a wonderful companion, thank you very much!” 

“I don’t dispute the merits of this one,” the quarian replied, stroking the cat under his chin and laughing as he purred loudly. “However, our gifts tend to be those that serve the entire flotilla… like schematics, data, or machinery- it was what I was searching for when I stumbled upon Saren’s plans.” 

“Ah,” Sol replied, reaching for one of the finished beverages and taking a sip. “I’m sure Janey would be happy to help- that evidence of yours was exactly what she needed, after all.”

“True.” Tali started to say something else, but the doors to the mess hall opened, revealing Liara and Ashley walking toward them. “Hmm,” Tali replied, her head shifting between Sol and the human woman, “you know, I think I’ll just take JC and go-”

“You will do no such thing,” Sol hissed, glaring at her friend- there was no way she was staying in this room alone with the irritating woman. She had no issues with Liara- the asari had been perfectly pleasant, choosing to work in the lab with Sol and keep to herself. The soldier, however, was another story entirely, and Sol didn’t trust the woman to not start a fight with her. _I will not start trouble on Jane’s ship,_ she thought, fighting the low growl rumbling in her throat. _I will be decent… unless she says something nasty to me._

Ashley looked the two of them over, not saying a word as she guided Liara to a seat. Hoping to start over and not complicate things even more for John, Sol let out a sigh before putting a smile on her face. “Is there anything I can help you with,” she asked politely. “I hear it was a bit rough out there today.” 

“Like you’d know anything about that,” Ashley growled, pushing her way past Sol and heading into the kitchen. “Just stay out of my way.” 

Tali let out a gasp of shock, but Sol just cocked her head and closed her eyes, trying to find every ounce of patience she could muster. “I was only trying to be nice,” she said pointedly, unable to fight the growl in her throat, calming down only when Tali placed a hand on her arm. “You don’t have to be so _rude_ , you know.”

“And _you_ didn’t have to fuck my fiance and throw that shit in my goddamn _face_ ,” Ashley snarled, leaning so close to Sol their noses almost touched. “It’s bad enough to be around his sister, but to have to deal with this shit too…” The look on the soldier’s face was murderous “Stay… the fuck… away from him,” she spat, her eyes blazing with fury. “I have to be on my best behavior with your sister-” she hissed, stumbling over the word as if it were poison, “but there’s nothing stopping me from kicking your ass- remember that.” 

Sol rolled her neck, the last of her control ebbing away- this woman was challenging her, and she had no intention of backing down. “Firstly, Johnny is _not_ your fiance anymore- I think you’d do well to remember that,” she said angrily, feeling insulted about the entire encounter. “And secondly, even though it’s absolutely _none_ of your business, John and I are just friends!” She shook her head, her sub-vocals rumbling with irritation- in response, Tali gently squeezed her hand, her presence forcing her to calm down a little. “ _Spirits_ , why are you determined to be so difficult?”

“It just isn’t _fair_ ,” the woman said quietly, her body vibrating with emotion. “After all this time, I _finally_ get another chance, only to deal with you throwing yourself at him every fucking chance you get!”

Sol was just about to say something, but she heard a throat clear from behind them. “Um,” John said sheepishly, looking back and forth between the turian and the soldier, “Sol, do you mind…” 

“Of course not,” Sol replied, her smile shaky as she tossed her cup in the sink- she had no desire to drink it anymore. Tali, however, had no such qualms, quietly sipping her kava and watching the scene unfolding in front of her. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

She tried to push past him, but John reached out and placed a hand on her arm. “Actually,” he said quietly, running his hand through his hair, “I wanted to talk to you… do you think you could take a walk with me?” 

Sol just swallowed, trying to ignore the giggle that came from her friend and the growls from the soldier. “Um... I have to take JC-” 

“Oh, don’t worry about him,” Tali replied happily, holding up the tiny kitten. “I’ll take care of this guy.” She turned to Ash for a moment and shook her head before turning back to Sol, shooing her away. “Go- we’ll talk later, Sol.”

“Well-” She started to decline, but when she locked eyes with John and saw his face, his expression soft and pleading, Sol knew there was no way she could say no, despite the furious human at her back. “Yeah, ok,” she replied, offering him a hesitant smile and a soft chirp, taking his outstretched arm. “Let’s go.”   


_ _

* * *

Garrus was heading for the storage area, trying to calm himself- he knew that Jane wouldn’t let him down, but just knowing that Saleon was connected to this whole thing made the spaces between his plates itch. _That bastard had someone helping him the entire time,_ he growled, making his way over to the dented vehicle. _Who else knew about this?_

Focused on his task, Garrus slid under the Mako to check the undercarriage, only to immediately slide back out when he heard a soft meow. “Sol?” He slid back out, only to find the quarian, who was heading to engineering while holding JC in her arms. “Tali,” Garrus called out, his sub-vocals rumbling with surprise, “why do you have that grey monstrosity with you?”

Tali laughed, heading over to Garrus and leaning against the vehicle. “Would you like the short answer or the long answer?”

Garrus raised his brow-plates with interest, his irritation forgotten for the moment. “That depends- which one best explains why Sol let that thing out of her sight?”

“Well,” Tali replied, pulling up a chair and settling into it, “the short answer is that Sol and John are talking with each other.”

Garrus let out a deep sigh, leaning against the Mako as he watched the quarian shift in her seat. “And the long version?”

“She left after she and that soldier got into a fight in the mess hall,” Tali answered, causing Garrus to let out a groan. “But in her defense, that woman was being insufferable! I mean, Sol didn’t even do anything- we were having kava when that bosh’tet started screaming about her sleeping with her fiance!” She gave a tiny huff, impatiently tapping her foot. “And I know for a _fact_ that Sol hasn’t done anything like that- she’s not like that… plus, she would’ve told me about it if she had.”

 _Hmmm… so John wasn’t lying about anything happening between the two of them._ “Knowing Sol, I don’t doubt that at all,” he replied, closing his eyes. “Spirits above, Jane is going to have a fit when she hears about this.” 

“Jane, hmm?” Tali leaned forward to look at him. “Don’t you mean… your mate?”

When he grinned at Tali and rubbed a hand over his fringe, she let out a scream of irritation. “Why did you lie to me about bonding with the commander?”

Garrus shrugged, his mandibles flickering smugly as he watched the quarian pout. “I never lied,” he said teasingly. “Technically, _you_ never asked who I was mated to.”

 _“UGH!”_ She swatted at him, making the kitten shift in her lap. “That wasn’t funny!”

“I think it was,” he replied, crossing his arms and letting out a self-satisfied rumble. “In fact, it was one of the funniest things to happen to me on this ship so far.”

Tali held up a hand as if she was going to yell at him some more but suddenly stopped short, cocking her head at him instead. “Wait,” she said curiously, “what was the funniest?”

Without missing a beat, Garrus gave the quarian a smile that was a mile wide. “That’s easy… getting to chase Alenko out of my room naked wins every time.” 

“This ship is full of lunatics,” Tali replied, holding the kitten up to her face and letting out a sigh as he yawned in her face. “How no one is in jail right now is beyond me.”   


_ _

* * *

Nihlus entered the mess hall, only to find a fuming Ash and a shell- shocked Liara sitting down at a table. “Something tells me your time back hasn’t exactly been uneventful,” he said carefully, settling in a seat across from them. “Care to share?” 

Ash just glowered at him, her hands wrapped around a cup that held something that smelled suspiciously like alcohol. “Not really.” 

He turned to Liara, who glanced over to the soldier before swallowing nervously. “Chief Williams and the young turian… exchanged words a little bit ago,” she said slowly, earning a groan from Ash. “It seems that the two of them are not on the best of terms.” 

“That’s putting it lightly,” Ash grumbled, taking a sip of her drink. “He’s a dick and she can fuck right the fuck off,” she muttered, slamming her cup down and sloshing some of the contents on the table. “I never thought I’d find someone I hated as much as Jane, but she’s climbing right up there!” 

Liara shot Nihlus a look, glanced back at the cup, then turned back to him- understanding what she meant, he nodded. Surreptitiously, he pointed at the cup, then held up a finger, silently questioning just how much of the beverage the woman had consumed already. To his surprise, Liara shook her head and held up five fingers, causing Nihlus to let out an impressed hum- judging by the smell, the beverage had to be quite strong. “Liara,” he asked, remembering his initial reason for his visit, “how are you doing?” 

“Better than her, surprisingly,” Liara replied, gesturing to Ashley. “It’s been quite a day.”

“I can only imagine,” Nihlus replied, letting out a deep sigh. “I… wanted to apologize for what happened back there,” he said quietly. “It was a terrible situation, and I’m sorry you had to witness it.” 

Liara sighed, taking a sip of her own drink- Nihlus could smell the same alcoholic spiciness coming from her beverage. “I’m… not in the place to process this right now,” she admitted, running a hand over her tentacles. “In the morning, I’ll know that we did the best for her- but right now…” she let her voice trail off, shaking her head as she sat her cup on the table. “Right now, I hate you,” she replied, her voice devoid of emotion as she stared at him. “I know it’s irrational, but it doesn’t change how I feel.” 

As her eyes filled with tears, Nihlus looked away and let out a sad rumble. “You killed my mother,” Liara said sorrowfully, taking another sip of her drink. “Tomorrow, I’ll be able to accept that you put her out of her misery, but today… today I hate you,” she whispered. “Today, I wish it was you that died instead of her.” She put her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide with regret. “By the goddess, that was horrible of me to say... I’m so sorry, Nihlus- I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t be sorry,” he replied, nodding at the asari who was handling her world being torn asunder much better than the foolish woman in front of her. “I deserve whatever your feelings might be- they are yours to feel and not mine to dictate.” Nihlus smiled, placing a hand on hers. “Again, you have my regrets,” he said softly. “Take your time, Liara- whenever you wish to talk to me, I will be willing to listen.”

“I appreciate it,” she said, sighing as she stared at Ash, who had slumped over on the table. “Can you… can you take care of her? She’s been… _brash_ to the others, but she’s been pleasant to me... and I hate to see her like this.” She sighed, looking at her cup for a moment before cutting her eyes back to him. “I don’t think anyone else would help her,” Liara admitted, resting a hand on Ash’s head and stroking her hair. “I didn’t want to leave her alone.” 

“Go get some rest,” Nihlus replied, standing up and walking to the other side of the table. “I’ll make sure she gets to bed.” 

“Thank you,” Liara replied, getting up from the table, wobbling slightly from the strong drinks. “Your compassion means a lot to me.” 

He nodded as the asari made her way to her room, finally noticing just how quiet the ship was. “Williams,” he said softly, leaning close to her ear, “can you stand up?”

“Mrrhgh,” she replied, waving her hand listlessly at him. “G’way.” 

“I’m going to pick you up,” he told Ash, unsure of just how much she could understand right now. “You’re in the mess hall right now and you need to be in bed,” Nihlus said slowly. “I’d like to take you back to your room so you can get some sleep- is that ok with you?”

“Hate everything,” she grumbled. “Hate this ship, hate Jane, hate John, hate you…” She swatted at him, but he took that opportunity to drape her arm over his neck, gently lifting the woman from the chair. He thought she’d fight him, but instead, she just wrapped her other arm over him, resting her head against his chest. _That went better than I expected_ , he thought, walking down the hall toward her room. _At least she didn’t start screaming her fool head off- I’d have gladly left her right on the floor if she had._

As Nihlus opened her door, he could hear soft cries coming from Ashley- to his surprise, she was quietly sobbing, her face buried in his chest and staining his shirt with her tears. “Why does everyone else get to be happy,” she choked out, holding his neck tightly. “ It’s not fair- it’s never been fair! Why do they always get to have everything they want while I get nothing?”

“I can’t answer that,” he replied, sitting down on her bed and giving the woman the opportunity to untangle herself from him, working to hide his shock when she wouldn’t let him go. “But it’s not good for you to hold on to anger like this, Williams.” 

“I thought… I thought he might change his mind,” she said sadly. “I thought… I thought if I talked to him, we might be able to try again, but every time I want to, he always chooses her over me.” Ashley sobbed again, wrapping her arms around him. “What does she have that I don’t?” Ashley asked, leaning up and staring at him. “Why won’t he ever choose us?” 

“I don’t think you should be asking that question,” Nihlus replied, gently removing her arms from his neck. “Why are you so upset about someone who doesn’t want your affections,” he asked softly, guiding her to the mattress and placing her feet in the bed. “You’re better than this, Williams- this behavior is beneath you.” 

“You don’t know me,” she said softly, gradually moving closer to him on the bed, the alcohol on her breath wafting up to his nose. “Do you know what it’s like to have your whole future just snatched away without a goddamn warning?”

Despite the circumstances, Nihlus just chuckled, shaking his head. “Considering the person I looked up to and trusted the most in the world tried to murder me, beat me within an inch of my life, and left me for dead, I can actually say I _do_ know what that’s like,” he said quietly. “And even with all that, I’m not carrying on as much as you are.”

“Fucking turian,” Ashley muttered, draping her arms over his lap and resting her head on his thigh. “Grandpa said you guys were soulless bastards- guess he was right.”

“Stupid human,” Nihlus replied softly, resting his hand on her arm. “You’re always _yelling_ ,” he said, shaking his head. “Spirits above, when will you learn that you don’t have to scream to be heard?”

He waited for her smart-mouthed reply, but the only sounds were her soft breaths on his leg. When he tried to move, Ashley pressed her arm against him, stopping him from getting up. “Why are you the only one who’s nice to me?” Ashley asked quietly, not letting him move. “Are you trying to make me feel bad?”

“You’re drunk,” Nihlus replied, ignoring the question. Instead, he moved her over, letting the soldier lay face-down on the bed. “How much did you have to drink, Williams?” 

“A lot,” she mumbled into the mattress. “Not enough, though.” 

“And I think you’ve had more than enough,” he replied with a laugh. “You’re going to feel terrible in the morning.”

“Probably,” she replied, her voice muffled. “Don’t care.” 

“I can see that.” He stood up and looked at the woman, sighing when he noticed she was still in her boots. “I’m going to take off your boots- everything else is your problem.” She gave him another listless wave and he sighed, moving over and taking off her shoes. “I understand being inebriated, so if it helps, we don’t have to talk about this in the morning, understood?” 

“Thanks,” she mumbled, shifting her head to look at him. “For everything.”

“I couldn’t very well leave you in the mess hall,” Nihlus replied, placing her blanket over her. “It’s not a good look to have my team member drooling all over the table- it reflects poorly on me.”

“Whatever, Kryik.” She rolled her eyes for a moment, then settled into the bed as he walked away. “Just… thanks. You could’ve been a dick, but you aren’t… so, thanks, I guess.” 

“I expect more from you, Williams- stop letting this petty personal behavior get in the way of what you should be doing out here,” Nihlus replied, standing in the doorway. “So if you remember any of this, you can thank me by apologizing to Solana in the morning- if you can do that, then maybe there’s hope for growth in you yet.” She started to say something, but Nihlus left the room without waiting for an answer. _I swear, this woman is going to be the death of me._

Even so, Nihlus came back a few hours later, quietly leaving a glass of water and some aspirin on her nightstand for the inebriated woman to find when she woke up.


	22. Whatever you want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sol and John talk in the observatory; Jane and Joker plot a course to their next destination

_ _

* * *

John looked at Sol, feeling miserable as they walked out of the mess hall. “I’m sorry about that,” he said quietly. “It’s bad enough that she and Janey get into it all the time, but I never wanted you to have to deal with that kind of thing, Tiny.” 

Sol blew out a deep breath, staring straight ahead as they made their way to the observation deck. “I just don’t understand,” she said after a moment, walking over to the window. “Why is she just so _mean_? She’s been downright nasty to me since the minute she saw me, and I never did _anything_ to her!”

John raised an eyebrow at Sol, then leaned against the glass. “Tiny,” he said, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice, “you mean to tell me you didn’t do anything at all in this whole thing?”

Sol rolled her eyes. “I never _started_ anything,” she said pointedly, then gave him that grin he found so endearing. “But you know I’m not above finishing things, Johnny.” 

John broke out into a wide smile, shaking his head. “That’s my girl,” he said proudly, wrapping an arm around Sol and guiding her to a seat. “Look, sorry I was a dick to you when I came back in… I was just going through a lot out there.” 

“S’ok,” Sol said as she sat next to him, staring out the window. “I’m sorry I scented you… I didn’t know it was going to cause so much trouble.” Suddenly, she frowned, glancing over at him before moving away. “I’ll try to keep my distance from now on.” 

The look on her face as she moved away made his heart twist in his chest. “Tiny,” John said, reaching out and wrapping his arms around her, “fuck everyone else, ok?” He brought his hand to her cheek and rested his head against hers, causing the turian to let out a surprised chirp and immediately go stiff in his arms. Startled and wondering if he’d hurt her somehow, John pulled back, scanning her face. “You ok?” 

“I… um… you…” Sol began looking around the room, her eyes landing anywhere but on his face, making him more and more nervous by the second, “I don’t think we should do this, Johnny,” she stammered, letting out an embarrassed-sounding hum. “I mean, you still need to talk to Ashley, _clearly_ you’re feeling a little emotional right now, and-” 

John just stared at her- he had no idea what she was talking about. “Sol,” he said carefully, lightly holding her hands so she would stop twitching, “could you stop looking like you’re about to jump off this ship and talk to me?” 

Sol looked at him as if he’d just lost his mind. “Are you serious? You really have _no_ idea why I’m so confused right now?” 

John sighed and rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t be standing here wondering what the hell I did if I had even an iota of a clue why you’re looking at me like that. Hell, you’re looking at me like I just told you I wanted to sleep with you… which, by the way, everyone thinks we did, and yet I’m not the one backing away from you like you’ve got some sort of plague!”

“You just _kissed_ me!” Sol screeched, poking him in the chest. “What the heck am I _supposed_ to think when my best friend up and starts kissing me out of the blue?” 

John blinked- it was now his turn to stare at her as if she’d lost her mind. “Um… I didn’t kiss you, Tiny… I think I’d know if I did something like that.” 

Sol reached back and hit him in the arm, hard. “You know damn well that you did!” When he yelped and rubbed his arm, she glared at him and hit him again. “You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed Gar and Janey making out in front of us all the time!” 

“Yeah they make out a lot, but I haven’t made out with you!” He rubbed his arm for a moment before flicking her mandible, making her squeal and glare at him again. “Seriously, have you lost your mind or something? I’m pretty sure I’d know if I kissed you!”

“You just did it!” She let out a frustrated-sounding rumble, then forcibly pressed her head to his. “ _THIS_ is how we kiss, you idiot!” She pulled away, glaring at him. “That’s what you just did!”

John just stared at her, understanding crashing over him like a wave as he replayed the events of the last few minutes. “Oh,” he said sheepishly, rubbing his jaw and looking away. “Um… I guess I did just do that, huh?” 

“You _think_?” Sol gave a slightly angry-sounding chirp, then flung herself back against the bench. “ _Spirits_ , Johnny, you can’t _do_ that sort of thing to me!” 

Blinking, John tried to wrap his head around what just happened, then gave her a mischievous grin as he leaned back, folding his arms behind his head. “Well, at least we’re even now.”

“We are _not_ even!” Sol squawked, turning toward him and shoving him in the chest. “We are nothing even _close_ to even, Johnny!”

John tilted his head to grin at her, feeling a ton better about the situation now. “I think we are,” he teased, reaching over to tap her on the nose. “See, I had no idea what I did… but you definitely kissed me, Tiny.” Then he leaned closer and hovered just above her forehead, making a concerted effort not to brush against her. “But maybe I’m missing something…”

Instantly, Sol let out a squeak and clasped her hands to her mouth. “Oh no,” she moaned. “I didn’t mean… I was only trying to... “ She lowered her head, letting out a nervous hum. “I’m so sorry, Johnny.” 

John just smiled, resting his hand on hers. “No worries… we’re just gonna chalk that up to a bit of horrible inter-species awkwardness- had to happen sometime, right?”

Sol nodded, looking relieved. “Yeah,” she agreed, looking a lot calmer as she leaned back, not running away when he placed his arm around her again. “At least it was just here, right? It’d be a real mess if Williams came up and saw us like that, huh?” She sighed, then looked away. “Are you going tell her about it? Because I’d like to know if I need to hide in my room for the next few days.”

"Fuck that," John retorted, chuckling as Sol let out a barking laugh. “I mean, yeah, I was a bit taken aback by the scenting thing, but like I was saying before I committed the ultimate fuck-up-” Sol let out a happy chirp and John smiled back, grateful to know that the two of them were still ok. “Everyone else can go to hell, Tiny- I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything. And if the price for spending a great night with one of my best friends is smelling like her and letting the whole world know she cares about me, then fuck it- I can think of worse things.” He shrugged his shoulders, then stared at the turian next to him, desperate for her to understand just how important she was to him. “Like never getting to do it again.”

_ _

* * *

Joker just stared at Jane as she twirled around in the co-pilot’s chair, her legs draped over the armrest as she stared at him “Spill,” she said, a wicked gleam in her eyes. “I haven’t seen anyone hanging around, and quiet with this bunch never means anything good- where is everyone?” 

“Well, you missed the mini-explosion earlier,” he said, tapping on a screen that showed the now-empty mess hall. “Kinda sad your brother broke it up- I was all set to see who would win between Tiny and Bitchy Barbie.”

Jane stopped spinning in the chair and stared at him, her expression full of disbelief. “You’re kidding.”

He shook his head. “‘Fraid not, Brainy,” he said happily, turning back to his console to check over the flight plan she’d given him. “I only knew to check because Johnny was looking for Sol… and boy, did he find her.” Once the coordinates were confirmed, Joker snorted and turned around. “The look on her _face_ when John and Sol left together… that shit was priceless. At least she didn’t run after them and cause a scene this time.” 

“Like when we all went out for Hilary’s birthday,” Jane replied, shaking her head as Joker nodded. “God, even back then, that bitch could fuck up a wet dream- anyone who got close to John was always a fucking threat.” She punched angrily at the air, making the pilot chuckle. “Probably didn’t want anyone helping John figure out what a waste of space she was.”

Joker smirked. “Careful there, Brainy- you’re supposed to be in charge here,” he teased. “We can’t have that kind of language from our fearless leader- how will the rest of us ever learn how to behave?”

“Whatever,” she growled, ignoring his laughter. “She didn’t hurt Sol, did she?” 

“Nah, unfortunately, no punches were thrown- I was very disappointed, too.” He turned back to the screen for a moment, then glanced at Jane. “Your husband isn’t gonna come up here and bite my head off for talking to you, is he?”

Jane just laughed, spinning in the chair again. “I think that’s only reserved for Lt. Planko,” she said lightly. “Speaking of the human piece of driftwood,” she said, glancing around the room, “where is he?”

Joker winced at the nickname- true, the man was an absolute idiot when it came to Jane, but he’d been a decent bit of company for him. While the others were on the ground, he and the lieutenant had spent some time in the cockpit, trading stories while getting to know each other. “The man isn’t that bad, Brainy,” he said gently. “But he does have a crush on you… might want to shoot that down sooner rather than later.”

“You’re fucking kidding me,” she said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest. “He knows I’m married, right?” 

Joker turned around, then gestured to her unadorned hands. “Not to him you aren’t- probably just thinks you’re just killing time or something.”

Jane made a disgusted noise, then lightly swiped at his hat. “On that note, can you send a note to Tali and tell her to be ready when we land? I couldn’t find out too much about this place except for the fact it’s supposedly crawling with geth- maybe she can help me figure something out.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m your pilot, not your secretary,” Joker retorted. “Go find her and talk to her yourself- it’s not that big of a ship, Brainy.”

“Do I _have_ to?” Jane whined, making Joker laugh. “You know that people-ing is Johnny’s department, not mine- I’m much better with computers and shooting things than I am with talking to people.”

“Well, no time like the present to practice,” he replied brightly. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right- it had taken him years to get the woman next to him to even smile in his presence, let alone talk to him like this. “You trained a really long time for an opportunity like this, “ he said seriously. “It’s ok to get to know people, I promise.” 

“Easy for you to say,” she grumbled. “You guys are cool and fun to be around- I was just the extra appendage Johnny brought everywhere. No one ever wanted me there… they just knew they had to be nice to me if they wanted him around.”

“I think you’re forgetting that I was just his crippled sidekick,” Joker said bitterly, adjusting his hat as he leaned back in the chair. “But that’s not who we are anymore, is it?”

“Guess not,” Jane replied, taking out her ponytail holder and letting the dark strands hang over the chair. “It’s just _hard_ ,” she said softly. “I want to be like him… but I don’t know how.”

“Here’s a tip- not punching people and pretending like you care about what people are doing is a start,” he said pointedly. “Be honest- how many people, besides me and your family, have you ever made the effort to talk to?” She thought about it for a moment, but Joker cut her off. “And the zombie spectre doesn’t count, Brainy.”

She let out a deep sigh. “No one, I guess.” 

“So, take a lesson from your brother,” he replied, watching to see if she was actually listening to him. “What did John used to do when he was leading anything?” 

Jane rolled her eyes, then sat up in the chair. “He did rounds,” she said exasperatedly. “The talkative bastard made sure to chat up each and every person each night- it was fucking annoying.” 

Joker nodded. “I’m not complaining- that’s how he met me, remember?” She rolled her eyes again, but he just laughed. “You’ve got it in you, Brainy,” he said softly. “I like you… a little. And if you can make that miracle happen, I’m pretty sure you can take a little time to get to know the people that are serving with you.” 

“When did you get so wise,” Jane grumbled, twisting her dark hair around her fingers. “I didn’t think you gave a shit about what I did.”

“That’s because I don’t,” he said happily, laughing as she spun his chair around. “I just really like this ship and I don’t want your moody ass ruining this for me.” 

_ _

* * *

“Do you feel better now that there are no more bugs around?” Sol teased, poking John lightly in the side. “Do you need me to protect you just in case we find a spider on board?” 

“Yes,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his head into her plates. “I require all the saving… use those big feet of yours and kill anything that moves, will ya?”

“You are so _mean_ ,” Sol chirped, lightly pushing him off of her. “My feet are _not_ big, she retorted, lifting her leg and twisting her foot from side to side. “I’m actually rather small for a turian, I’ll have you know.” 

“Scoot back and raise your legs on the bench,” John said, getting that glint in his eye that usually meant trouble. Wanting to see where this went, she shook her head but did as he asked, letting out a shriek as he lifted her leg, putting her foot by his head. “Your foot is bigger than my head, Tiny.” Before she could protest, he took off her shoe and wiggled one of her toes. “See? Even this thing is huge- face it, you’re just a gigantic dino cat, Sol.”

“I am not a… _‘dino cat’_ ,” she squawked, shoving him with her covered foot and ignoring his laughter. “Spirits, why do I even talk to you, anyway?” 

John pretended to think about it, tapping the bottom of her foot and making her squeal with laughter at the sensation. “ _Oh ho ho,_ someone is ticklish!” 

“I don’t even know what that is,” she shrieked, trying to get away as he sent that strange sensation up her foot again. “Stop that this instant, you untrained varren!” 

Laughing, he lifted her legs and let them rest on his lap, gently sliding her shoe back on. “Admit it, who else makes you laugh like I do, Sol?”

“No else annoys me like you do, either,” she retorted, leaning forward and running her hand through the short hair on the top of his head. John’s hair was always so fascinating to her- she’d once asked if it hurt when it turned in on itself like that, but he’d just laughed. He even showed her a picture of him with barely any hair at all and she’d practically screamed from the shock. _I like it longer,_ she thought as she lightly pulled one of what he called curls, watching with amazement as it snapped back into its original position. _It makes him look happier._

“It’s part of my charm,” he said breezily, closing his eyes as she swung her legs down- the position was pressing on her spurs, but she didn’t have the heart to tell him that. Instead, she slid closer, letting him rest against her as she continued to play with his hair. “Sol, just take your gloves,” he said as he shifted to take up his usual position of resting his head in her lap as she played with his hair, propping his feet up on the bench. “You know I don’t care.” 

Sol let out an uncomfortable chirp, then looked around the observation area nervously. “I don’t know,” she said hesitantly. “What if someone else sees-”

John just rolled his eyes and took her hand, yanking off the glove and placing it on his stomach. “Other hand,” he said firmly, reaching his palm out. “C’mon, don’t be shy, Tiny.” 

“But someone might think that I’m going to hurt you if they see me like this,” she whispered, shifting uncomfortably as he slid off her other glove, watching as it fell to the floor. “I don’t want to cause you any problems.” 

“You’re helping,” he insisted, placing her hand in his soft curls. “I’ve had a shitty day, and I’m sitting here relaxing with you and watching the stars- if someone has an issue with it, they can bite me.” 

Sol just stared at him. “I don't understand- why would they do a thing like that?” 

John paused for a moment, then laughed. “It’s an expression, he said quickly, patting her leg. “It means I could care less what they think.” 

“How do you do that?” Sol asked, allowing herself to feel the silken strands under her fingertips and letting out a satisfied hum. “It must be so freeing, to not be beholden to the expectations of others.” 

He shrugged, letting out a contented sigh as her talons raked lightly across his scalp. _I could hurt him like this,_ she thought, _but he trusts me_. “When you grow up as trash, you get used to not caring, cause if you care what everyone else thinks, you’ll never make it out,” he said quietly. “It was a hard lesson to learn.” He shifted slightly, tilting his face so he could stare up at her. “Better question...why are _you_ so easy to talk to? Why aren’t you ever upset when I tell you all the crap I used to do?”

Sol shrugged, letting out a soft hum. “Because… it doesn’t really matter to me, I suppose. Everything you’ve done, you’ve learned from- you wouldn’t be you without those experiences… and I like who you are.” She gave a nervous chirp and closed her eyes, desperate to get the words out. “You don’t care who my parents are, you listen, and even when you tease me, you’re never nasty.” Sol stared out the window, watching the stars as they moved through the sky. “You always try to make me happy,” she said with a smile. “Like how you brought a kava maker for your apartment so I could have a drink when I woke up.” 

He gave a dismissive wave. “I had that way before you got there, Tiny.”

She raised her brow-plates at him. “Then why did you not know how to use it until I showed you how?”

“Because your brother was too nice to correct me,” he deflected, closing his eyes again. “I just needed proper instruction, that’s all.” 

“And the bed?” Sol prodded, wondering where she was going or hoping to get him to say. “You didn’t have to do that for me.” 

“I didn’t want to hear you complaining,” he replied. “Besides, I figured I could use it if you didn’t want it- it’s really not that bad once you get used to it… it’s kinda like sleeping in an egg.” 

Spurred on by something she couldn’t name, Sol continued to press him, her eyes darting back and forth across his face. “And the stuff for JC?” 

“It’s a cat,” he said, sitting up and laughing as he smoothed his hair. “I wasn’t going to let it go crazy in my house because you didn’t know what to get for it.” Finally, he turned to her, his grey eyes roaming over her face. “C'mon, enough with the questions- what’s all this about, Tiny?”

Sol sighed, then looked down at her ungloved hands, feeling the emotions well up in her throat. “I just don’t get it! How can you be such a great person and still be in love with someone like… _that_!” She shook her head furiously, clenching her fingers together. “It’s unfathomable, and I keep trying to understand, but I just can’t see why you’d _do_ something like that!”

For a second she thought she’d offended him- John stayed silent, then sighed. “I think this is another one of these inter-species awkward conversations we need to have, Sol.” She groaned, but he just smiled and took her hand. “I’m not going to lie to you- I had a lot of my life with Ash. And yeah, there’s always going to be a part of me that loves her.” Sol tried to move away, but he didn’t release her hand. “But to answer your question, I’m not in love with her- I realized a long time ago that the person I needed to be and the man she wanted weren’t ever going to be the same… so I left.” He gave a soft laugh, the sound almost regretful. “Did I do it the best? Hell no- if I had, you wouldn’t have gotten caught up in my shit… and I’m super sorry about that, Sol.” 

“You need to talk to her,” she repeated. “She still loves you, John.” Then she paused, cocking her head as she remembered his distinctions. “I think she’s still in love with you.” 

No, she’s in love with the _idea_ of me,” he said bitterly. “I figured that out when she started ragging on you and Garrus- I let her convince me that I didn’t need Janey around and it was the worst fucking decision of my life. When I heard her going off on him and Janey, it was like a light switch went off- it made me remember why I left in the first place.” 

He gripped her hand, his stare intense and firm. “I don’t to be with someone who’s going to make me choose,” he said, closing his eyes. “I know I don’t have to do that anymore- Janey loves me no matter what. Garrus knows way more about me than he should, and he’ll still throw himself in front of a bullet for me. Joker is a mess, but that man has always had my back.” Then John smiled and shook his head. “And then… there’s you, Sol.” He let out a laugh, then threaded his fingers in hers. “Can I tell you something?” 

Sol felt like her mouth was coated in sandpaper- she could only nod as John stood up, using his hand to help her up. “Um,” she croaked, her sub-vocals flanging wildly, “of course.” 

John smiled, wrapping his arms around her and resting his face against her chest plates. “I was actually really glad your date turned out to be a dick,” he admitted, still not looking at her. “Mind you, I still want to punch him in the throat for the way he treated you, but you have no idea how glad I am to have you here.” 

“I like that you don’t care,” Sol blurted out, causing John to raise his head and look at her strangely- she shook her head and let out a hum of embarrassment. “I mean that you don’t care that I’m a turian, that you don’t care how awkward and weird I am, that you still like me even when I embarrass you-” 

“Stop right there,” he said firmly, staring up at her with a look she didn’t ever remember seeing on his face. “You can annoy me, you can tease me, and you can even make me mad, but nothing you do could ever embarrass me, Sol- you’re perfect just the way you are.” 

She tried to say something, but no words would come out- her mandibles just twitched, leaving nothing to listen to except the even, steady thump of his heart and the racing beats of hers. “I… I need to go get JC,” she stammered, not sure where she should put her face. “We… we should go back now… before it gets too late and you have to get up and I have to get up…” She knew she was rambling, but she couldn’t help herself- if she stopped talking, she had no idea what she was going to do. “And you know sleep is important… I mean it’s so much more important for humans because you need at least eight hours and we only need four..”

John just laughed, gently stepping to the side. “I’m not trying to make you freak out, Sol- seriously, just say the word and I will leave you alone, go get piss drunk somewhere, and I will never mention this ever again… well, I’ll definitely mention and use the tickling part again, but we can forget everything else, ok? No hard feelings whatsoever- your friendship means more to me than anything.” He extended his hand, his fingers outstretched and waiting for hers. “Whatever you want- you have my word, Tiny.” 

Sol paused for a moment, staring at his hand for a second before looking back up at him. “Whatever I want?” 

John nodded, then gave her that wonderful crooked smile of his, bending down to pick up her gloves. “Whatever you want- may I have to clean that furball’s litter box every day from now until the end of time if I’m lying.”

Sol laughed, closing her eyes. “You do that anyway, Johnny.” 

“That’s because you make such a goddamn mess that it’s easier for me to just do it, “ he shot back, grinning up at her as he folded her gloves in her hands. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it, though.” 

_It’s up to me… he’s leaving it up to me._ Sol balled up her fists at her side, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes, brought her ungloved hands to his cheeks, feeling the stubble beneath her fingertips as she pressed her head to his, feeling a steady sigh of relief as he wrapped his arms around her, bringing the other up to lightly stroke her faceplate, trailing down to gently trace her mandible. She let out a soft rumble at his touch, running her hands through his hair as she felt his lips come to rest on the tip of her nose, his finger tracing a line down her cheek. “Another accident?” John asked softly, closing his eyes- she could feel the long hairs rimming his eyes brushing across her plates as their heads rested together. “If so, how would you feel about us having another one?” 

“No… that one was on purpose,” she said softly, slowly untangling herself from him and walking away, smiling to herself and purring loudly as she left the room.


	23. Getting to know you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane goes on a mission with Tali and Kaiden; Sol asks Garrus how to make tea

_ _

* * *

Sol looked through the files on human physiology Chakwas had given her, trying to make herself scarce that morning. Tali had left with Jane on a mission, so unless she wanted to go talk with Garrus or John, she was on her own for the time being. _I should probably make some lunch,_ she thought, idly flipping through screens. _Spirits knows that the boys won’t do it._

“Dr. Chakwas, do you need me for anything?” Sol asked, staring at the doctor, who was reviewing something on a terminal in front of her. “I was going to go to the mess and make something for lunch.”

The older woman just smiled at her. “You’re allowed to take a break, Solana- you’re not a prisoner, you know.” 

Sol gave a shy chirp, rubbing the back of her neck. “I know… I just want to make sure I’m helping, that’s all- I know I’m not supposed to be here, so…”

Chakwas just smiled, leaning back in her chair. “I know your sister, dear,” she said kindly. “If Jane didn’t want you here, then you wouldn’t be here… trust me.” Sol started to protest, but the doctor just gave her a stern look. “Enjoy yourself, Solana- knowing soldiers, you’ll be busier than you want to be soon enough.”

“I suppose.” Then she grinned at the doctor, shuffling her weight from foot to foot. “Can I get you anything?”

“If it’s not any trouble, I’d love a cup of tea,” she replied, glancing up from her screen. “But don’t rush back on my account- I can wait.” 

Happy to have a task, Sol gave a happy little hum. “Happy to do it,” she said cheerfully, leaving the medbay. It only occurred to her after she left the room that she had no idea how to make tea- John and Jane preferred coffee, so she’d never had a reason to make any other beverage. She thought about asking John but then shuddered- the man was more likely to poison the only person on the ship that could save them from his endeavors in the kitchen. _Maybe Gar knows,_ she thought as she made her way to storage bays. _He can cook a lot of levo stuff now._

When she got down there, she found her brother cleaning his guns. “Working hard, Gar?” 

Letting out a miffed rumble, Garrus looked up, wiping his brow plates. “I’m taking a moment to enjoy myself and not think about what my mate is doing out there- last time we were out, it was like she was trying to hit every single rock and creature on the surface of the planet,” he groused, glancing over at Sol. “I’m terrified to see what’s going to happen when she brings it back today.”

Sol laughed, tapping a talon lightly on the tabletop. “Janey can’t be _that_ bad,” she chirped, smiling over at him. “I mean, you guys all made it back ok.”

“It wasn’t for lack of trying,” he grumbled. “I love her to death, but she’s a worse driver than her brother… and I didn’t know that was possible.” 

“Johnny isn’t that bad,” Sol replied, wincing when she noticed the way her brother looked over at her. “Our skycar didn’t look as bad as the Mako when he was done taking me around the presidium.” 

“Really? When was this?” Garrus asked, standing up and staring at her as he leaned against the bench. “I didn’t know about this.” 

“Why would you? You and Janey were busy when I came in for a weekend, so we hung out- unlike you two, we actually like leaving the apartment,” she teased, poking him in the side and getting a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach when his expression remained serious. “Um, you look like Dad right now,” Sol said quietly, taking a step back. “What’s going on, Gar?” 

Her brother’s blue eyes were fixed on her as he crossed his arms, his lip plates pressed together tightly. “What’s going on with you and John, Sol?” 

Instantly, Sol felt the sides of her neck burst into flame as she stared at the floor. _I should’ve asked John about the tea_ , she thought miserably, hoping Garrus would just let this go. “Gar,” she said quietly, “I’m not a kid anymore.” 

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say- her brother’s mandibles flattened to his face and a low growl began to rise from his throat. From the other side of the room, Sol could hear Wrex’s rumbling laugh, causing her to let out a groan. “Sol,” he said warningly, “are you sleeping with John?” 

Embarrassed about being put on the spot and angry about the judgment in his tone, Sol scowled. “If I was,” she said pointedly, “it wouldn’t be any of your business, Gar.”

“You’re my little sister,” he growled, looking around the room for a minute before returning his focus to her. “When my sister sleeps with my mate’s brother, it damn well _is_ my business!” 

“John is a good guy!” Sol shot back, instantly realizing that she hadn’t denied the insinuation when Garrus’s eyes went wide and his sub-vocals started to reach a fevered pitch. “Gar, calm down!” she pleaded. “It’s not like that!”

“But you want to,” he replied tersely, his stare so sharp that she had to take a step back. When she didn’t respond, he let out a rumble so irritated that it made her want to go hide back in her office. “Spirits, Sol, out of all the people in the galaxy, did it _have_ to be him!” 

“Why is this such a bad thing?” Sol screamed, leaning into his face. “I trust Johnny… you trust Johnny- what’s the big deal?”

He started to say something and paused, a horrified expression spreading across his face. “You know dad won’t care about this, right?” Garrus reached out to place a hand on her shoulder but Sol jerked away. “You’re not bonded to him,” he said quietly. “Sleeping with John won’t stop dad from trying to find you a mate, and using him like this isn’t right, Sol.” 

Sol stared at her brother, her expression furious. “Do you _really_ think I’d do something like that? Is that what you did? Did you bond with Jane to stop him from trying to get you to mate with Ilya?”

Garrus let out an indignant huff. “Of course not!” 

“So why would you think I’d do such a thing!” Sol felt a rage-filled rumble rising in her throat. “You got the chance to be happy, so why don’t I get the same chance? Why is it ok for you and not for me!” 

“Because you still care what he thinks.” Garrus reached out for her again and this time, she accepted his hug, hearing his sub-vocals filled with sadness and comfort as they rolled over her. “Even if she wouldn’t want me to, I was willing to give up everything for Jane,” he said softly, guiding her over to a chair. “Are you willing to do the same for him? And if you aren’t… is that fair to him?” 

“I don’t think either of us knows what we want yet,” Sol admitted, looking down at the floor. “But I think we both deserve the chance to find out.”   


_ _

* * *

Jane was instantly regretting listening to Joker as she drove the Mako- Garrus had thrown a mini-snit when she said she was leaving without him or John, but he’d practically erupted when he found out that only Tali and Kaiden was going with her. _I have to evaluate him_ , she told her husband. _Besides, it’s just a recon mission- I’ll be fine._

Now, trapped in the Mako with him and Tali, Jane was wishing that she’d brought someone else instead of the dry lieutenant- his presence was making her uncomfortable. Thankfully, Tali was a passable shot and able to man the canon- as the quarian began clearing a swath through the enemies, Jane tried to focus on the road and ignore the presence of the man next to her as they searched for the outpost Hackett sent her to find.

“Thanks for having me with you,” Alenko said stiffly, rubbing the back of his neck as Tali took out more of the geth littering the surface of the planet. “I was wondering if I’d done something to offend you, Commander.”

 _Oh, you mean like try to barge in my room when I’m having sex with my husband? Can’t imagine why I’d be offended by that,_ Jane thought, trying her best to not look as if she’d just swallowed a bug. “Different missions require different skills,” she replied, hoping that she sounded convincing. “I wanted to see what you could do out in the field, but I didn’t anticipate this- sorry about dragging you off the ship just to sit in the car, Alenko.” 

He gave her a bright smile, running his hand through his hair as he checked over the data she’d downloaded. “Not a problem at all- it’s been nice to get the chance to sit and talk with you.” 

_Really? I’m glad this is nice for you... because it’s awkward as all hell for me._ “Beats trying to have a conversation while I’m in my bedroom,” she quipped, hoping to make the lieutenant a fraction as uncomfortable as she was. “At least I’m dressed this time.” 

Instead of squirming, Alenko just frowned. “I haven’t had the best of experiences with turians and their treatment of humans,” he replied, his tone clipped. “I was worried.”

Jane’s eyes narrowed and her hands gripped the wheel tightly. “Do you have a problem with turians, Alenko?” 

He shook his head. “No ma’am,” he said, and to her surprise, she didn’t hear any sarcasm in his tone. “They’re jerks and saints, just like us… I just know that things can get out of hand without people intending it.” 

Jane blinked, not expecting the well-reasoned response- she drove along, grateful for the respite in the fighting. “Makes sense,” she replied. “My mother-in-law is a saint, but my father-in-law is a dick… two sides of the same coin, I guess.” 

Even without looking at him, she could feel his eyes on her. “You’re married?” Alenko stammered. “But… to who?” 

She nodded, then smiled wryly at the man next to her- there was no way on earth he could possibly be this dumb. “The naked turian in my room wasn’t enough of a clue for you?”

“So… you and Garrus?” His voice was pinched, but Jane didn’t give a damn- someone had to set him straight. “How long?” 

“A while,” she replied, absentmindedly rubbing her neck as they approached the outpost. Hoping to shift the subject, she tapped on the ceiling, hoping to get the quarian’s attention and end this awkward encounter. “Hey Tali,” she said cheerfully, shifting to stare at the masked woman, “I think this is the outpost coming up... think you can take it down?”

“Of course,” she replied. “This is remarkably easier than I thought it would be- however, I don’t think this outpost is the signal you were searching for.” The quarian must have noticed her pinched face because she paused for a moment. “Alenko, you can drive the Mako, right?” 

He nodded. “I’m trained to do so, ma’am- I was just informed that the Commander prefers to drive.”

“And _I_ was informed that we should’ve been praying for our safe return the entire time she was behind the wheel,” Tali quipped. Even though the joke was at her expense, Jane couldn’t help but let out a soft snort- she wondered just how much of their conversation the girl had heard. “Maybe Shepard will be in a happier mood if I switch with her for a minute- I hear she enjoys shooting things.” 

_Tali, I don’t know you that well, but I could kiss you right now_ , Jane thought, driving carefully down the path and finding a shielded outcropping. “You certainly know how to win a girl over, Tali,” she teased, parking the Mako and crawling over the seats, well aware that the man was probably staring at her ass. “Who clued you in?” 

Tali laughed, lightly squeezing her shoulder. “Your bondmate,” she said brightly. “He told me if I wanted to get on your good side, it’s best to either let you drive or shoot a gun, so I’m trying to cover all my bases.” 

For the first time that day, Jane let out a real laugh as she settled into the seat. “Thanks a lot,” she said teasingly, immediately understanding why her sister enjoyed the girl so much. “Now he’s going to think he knows everything when we get back.”  


_ _

* * *

John walked into the mess hall, only to find Ash sitting at a table with her eyes half-closed. _Guess that snack will have to wait,_ he thought wearily. D _oesn't look like I can put this off any longer._ “I know that look,” he said casually, sitting in the seat across from her. “Let me guess… half a bottle of the cheapest whiskey you could get your hands on.”

“Wasn’t cheap,” she grumbled, turning away from him. “Costs way too much to get stuff imported from home.”

“Stop lying,” John replied. “You pick up a bottle whenever you find it and store it for whenever you have a really shitty or a really good day, Ash.” Realizing that he was probably the cause of it, he winced. “Guess I owe you a new bottle, huh?” 

“You owe me a shitload more than a bottle,” she grumbled, finally looking up at him. “But we could start with an explanation.”

John sighed. “Ash, we’ve been over this,” he said softly. “It wasn’t you- it was me. I… I was lying to you,” he admitted, looking down and running his hands through his hair. “Wait, lying isn’t exactly right… I just never told you everything about me.” He looked up, grimacing when he noticed her stoic brown eyes staring at him. “I wasn’t as good as you wanted me to be… or needed me to be." John sighed, looking away and feeling ashamed. "I couldn’t keep pretending I was this perfect soldier anymore- I had to leave.” 

“You were perfect for _me_ , Johnny,” she said, reaching out to touch his hand- instinctively, he flinched, causing the woman to stare at him with wide-open eyes. “No,” Ash whispered, trying to reach for him again, “don’t do this,” she pleaded. “I… I don’t care what you did back then… I want to try again… I want us again, Johnny.” 

“There never really was an us, Ash,” John replied, moving slightly away from her- this wasn’t how he wanted this to go, and he wished he’d planned this a lot better. “Look, I was young and stupid- I should’ve been honest with you from the beginning.” He shifted in his seat, instantly feeling uncomfortable. “But we’re done… be honest- we were done a long time ago.”

“You’re only saying that because of that turian you’re fucking,” she spat, getting up from her seat. “What... is the great John Shepard trying to fuck his way through the council races now?”

John sighed, looking down. “It’s not like that, Ash- don’t make it about her, ok?” 

“Isn’t it?” Angrily, she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and causing him to jerk his head up in surprise. “Did you miss us that much that you have to slum it with some naive little bitch to make you feel important again?” 

“Ash, this isn’t you,” John said hoarsely, trying to unwrap her arms from his shoulders- he felt like he was being smothered. Desperate to end this before it got any worse, John stood up from his seat. “This isn’t funny,” he growled, turning to look at her as he grabbed her wrist. “Ash, you need to stop this shit… _now_.” 

Suddenly, John heard a low growl from the doorway. “What the hell is going on in here?” 

Ash let out a fake gasp as John yanked her arm away, moving back and trying to catch his breath. “Don’t be like that,” she said, her voice dripping honey as she stared at Sol and Garrus, who were standing stock-still in the doorway. “You used to _love_ when we’d do this kind of thing, remember?” 

From the other end of the room, Sol started to growl. “Let him go,” she hissed. “ _Now_.” 

“Why? We were just… _talking_ , “ she replied, making John’s eyes go wide when she grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his ear- he shuddered with revulsion as she darted her tongue inside. “My mistake- we didn’t know you were there.” When he tried to jerk away, Ash yanked his arm behind his back and dug her nails in, hard. “I’m sure you know how that is, right?”

“Sol,” he said hoarsely, letting out a hiss of pain as she yanked his arm upward and her nails dug deeper into the back of his hand- there was a reason Ash was known as a damn good fighter, “I promise, I am not-” 

The woman at his back cut him off, placing a kiss on the back of his neck. “That’s not what you were just saying a few minutes ago,” Ash said quickly, turning her head to smile at Sol. “Why don’t you tell her the truth, John? I hear you’re all about that nowadays.” 

John looked at his partner, then over to Sol- the pain in his arm was blinding at this point, and he knew his biotics were about to go haywire. _Please get her off me before I kill us all,_ he thought, wincing as blood started to run down his palm. “You need to get off him,” Garrus replied, his voice completely even. “He’s trying his best not to hurt you, but you’re going to end up getting all of us blown to bits if you don’t stop.” 

“No,” she hissed, yanking his arm upward and causing John to let out a grunt of pain- black dots were creeping across his vision and he felt energy start to rise to the surface. “He _deserves_ it… every _bit_ of it! I did _not_ spend the last few years of my life clawing back to a state of normal, only to have this _bastard_ come in and flaunt his new fucktoy in my face every chance he gets!” She moved her other hand, pointing angrily at Sol. “She shouldn’t even fucking _be_ here!” 

As soon as she said that, all hell broke loose- suddenly, Sol raced forward and punched Ash in the face, causing her to release her grip on his hand and stagger back. Gasping with relief, John dropped to his knees, unable to do anything except try to breathe and not pass out from the pain in his arm. “Sol,” he wheezed, trying his best not to scream from the pain in his arm. “Sol… don’t-”

At that point, he might as well have been talking to a brick wall- Sol wasn’t hearing a word he was saying. All he could hear was Sol growling as the soldier staggered to her feet, screaming bloody murder as she tried to charge the turian, but Sol was quicker- she swept her legs from under her, sending Ash sprawling on her back. Before Ash could get back to her feet, Sol had leaped onto her chest, baring her teeth as she leaned in her face. “Touch him again and I promise, I will fucking _murder_ you, you evil, monstrous bitch!”

“Enough,” Garrus replied, grabbing Sol and plucking her off as easily as he’d brush off a fly. “I know you're not that bright, but I’d stay down if I were you,” he told Ash, holding Sol next to him and watching the soldier until Nihlus came over to grab her. “You think they’ve gotten it out of their systems now?”

Nihlus looked over at the two women, his mandibles twitching as he took in their disheveled forms. “Not as good as a normal sparring match, but considering where we are, I suppose it’ll have to do.” He glanced over to John, who was still struggling to move his arm. “How are you doing, Shepard?”

Groaning, John just glared at the spectre. “Fucking terrible- how the hell do you think I’m doing?” 

“You’ve got more control than I thought,” Nihlus said cooly as Garrus helped him to his feet. “I was pretty sure I was going to have Vakarian shoot you.” 

“ _Or_ ,” John said through gritted teeth, “you could’ve, I don’t know, stopped her from jamming my arm into my back… just a thought.” 

“You deserved it,” he said simply. “And besides, they needed to get it out their systems- Williams got to release her rage on the right party for once, and your mate got to stake her claim- as you humans say, it was a win-win.” The spectre nodded at Garrus, then over to Sol. “Take him over to the medbay,” he said, glaring at Williams. “I’ll clean up in here.” 

Garrus nodded, then turned to John. “All right, loverboy,” he said as he glanced at John, “time to go.” 

“Wait,” John said, pausing to look at Sol, who was still panting with rage, “Tiny, you have to know that I didn’t want-” 

“Shut up,” Garrus said, cutting him off as he opened the door to the medbay, gesturing for Chakwas to come over. “Sorry we didn’t bring your tea,” he called out, “but we brought you a dumbass human instead- hope that makes up for it.” He looked at John, then shook his head. “You are a lucky bastard, John- I don’t ever want to hear any more wisecracks about my hearing ever again, understand?”

John blinked as the doctor cut off his sleeve and let out a hiss as Sol applied medi-gel to the wounds on his hand, causing Liara to peek out from around the corner to see what was going on. “You heard all that?” 

Garrus nodded, leaning against the wall and giving a soft hum. “Of course I did,” he said smugly. “The two of you were loud enough- all three of us heard that idiocy.” 

“So if you heard all that,” John retorted, grimacing and letting out a scream as Chakwas popped his arm back into place, “then why the _fuck_ didn’t you stop this shit sooner!” 

He shrugged, giving John a smug little grin as the doctor prepped a shot of pain reliever. “I was going to… but then I remember I owed you from our trip to the lake.” 


	24. Pointing out the obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone retreats to separate corners to patch themselves up

_ _

* * *

Nihlus walked over to the soldier, leaning down and trying to stop his displeasure from seeping into his sub-vocals. “Was it worth it?” Heading over to the first-aid station, he grabbed a tube of medi-gel and proceeded to squeeze some on the bruise blooming over her nose and cheeks. “You’ve been searching for a fight ever since you’ve boarded this ship- are you happy now that you've gotten one?” 

Ash just glared at him, taking the tube from him and wincing as she gingerly touched her face. “Fuck off,” she grumbled. “You can go now.” 

Nihlus just stood there, watching her with interest- despite her injuries, the woman was still proud and defiant. “No," he said casually, tapping his talons on the table, "I don’t think I will.” 

“Why not?” He watched closely as she staggered to her feet, making sure she didn’t wobble or fall- he hadn’t expected the turian to get so territorial. “I don’t need your pity,” the soldier spat. “Or your goddamn judgment.” 

“I wasn’t offering you pity, and I’m your commanding officer- my judgment is part of the package,” Nihlus replied, making his way over to a seat. “I need you to sit down.” 

“You’re not my CO,” Ash retorted, glaring at him. “Why do you give a shit about me?”

“Sit _down_ ,” he replied, adding a note of force in his tone- the disrespect the woman exuded was exhausting. “Jane has assigned you to my team, and I am a Spectre- therefore, until further notice, I am your commanding officer. _Unless_ ,” he said quickly, watching the soldier settle into the chair across from him, “you’d prefer to let Commander Shepard decide your fate- I’m sure she’d be _more_ than fair in her handling of someone who assaulted her brother and her sister unprovoked… while they were on duty.” 

Ashley winced, then sighed. “Fuck,” she muttered, running her hand through her hair. “I’m screwed, aren’t I?” 

“You’re not in the best of positions, no,” he admitted, settling back in his chair. “What in the world possessed you to act in such a way, Williams?”

She glared at Nihlus, crossing her arms and resting them on the table. “I’m the one who got punched- you’re not going to question why the turian launched herself at my face and tried to eat me?”

Nihlus rolled his eyes. “You seem to be glossing over the part where you threw yourself all over the turian’s mate while damn near tearing his arm out of his socket,” he replied. “Considering your treatment of him, I’d say you were lucky that your only real injury was a blow to your face- she could’ve done worse.” 

“So he _is_ fucking her,” she grumbled, crossing her arms. “I _knew_ the bitch was lying.” 

“What Shepard and Vakarian are or aren’t doing is no concern of yours,” Nihlus said firmly, his eyes carefully checking her over. “You two are done, Williams- if you weren’t before, your actions today have made certain of that. If anything, I’d be more concerned about the status of my career if I were you.”

For once, the woman sounded contrite as she looked away, rubbing at the side of her face. “I know,” she said softly, glancing down at the table. “Wasn’t like I was going to go anywhere anyway, though- I'm Alliance dead weight, no matter what I do.” 

“Is your lack of promotions the reason you lash out at Jane so much?” Nihlus asked, earning a glare from the soldier across from him as he got up to hand her a bottle of water. “Coupled with the fact that you seem to perceive nothing as a fault of your own, I can see why her achievements might bother you.” 

“They only promoted her because of _Johnny_ ,” she said bitterly. “So not _only_ did she get everything handed to her spoiled ass, but she also made it her goddamn _mission_ to ruin our relationship. He sat the beverage in front of her and she glared as she took it down in a few gulps. “Looks like she won... just like always.” 

“Even though your career was sabotaged, it's not the same for Jane- her achievements were as well-earned,” Nihlus pointed out. “The two are not mutually exclusive. And,” he said pointedly, “she was right- you and Shepard were not and are not a good pairing- the sooner you realize that and move on, the sooner you can stop making the rest of us miserable.”

“I… didn’t mean to do it,” she said softly, staring at the tabletop. “It... It was like I saw her standing there and I just… I just saw _red_ , man.” Ashley looked up at him and snorted, placing her head in her hands. “Whatever,” she muttered. “It’s not like you care.” 

“Try me,” he said, leaning back in the chair. “What is it about this thing that has you acting like an utter idiot at a moment’s notice, Williams?” 

“I’m… I’m just _angry_ ,” she hissed, pressing her hands into her palms. “How does everyone else get to move on like nothing ever happened, and I’m always stuck back here?” 

“Because no matter what you say it seems you like being the victim,” Nihlus replied, watching her closely. “And sooner or later, the victim has a choice- they can become the victor or the villain.” He rose from his seat, then shook his head at her. “So, if you ever get tired of being the victim in your own story, come see me down by the weapons lockers.” 

Ashley stared at him, shock written all over her face. “I’ve been a bitch to you,” she said incredulously. “Why are you helping me?” 

“Because I don’t want to see you become the villain,” he replied as he left the room.

_ _

* * *

Garrus sat by John’s cot, waiting for Chakwas to give him the all-clear. “So, do I need to tell my mate that we need to get her a new brother, or will this one be ok?” 

Chakwas laughed, squinting at John for a moment before shaking her head. “I think he doesn’t need to take up space in my medbay,” she replied with a grin. “He should probably go lay down, though- those pain meds are going to leave him a bit out of it.”

Sol chirped softly, slowly moving forward. “I can help him get back to his room,” she said shyly, her eyes flickering up to John’s for a moment before settling back on his. “In all the commotion, I never actually got lunch, after all.” 

“You can go eat,” Garrus replied, his sub-vocals making the statement come out sharper than he’d intended. “I’ll take John back to his room.” 

“Um,” she replied, glancing back and forth between the two of them before shooting a pleading look at the doctor, “it’s no trouble, really-” 

“It’s no trouble for me, either,” Garrus shot back, his tone curt and unyielding as he glared at the younger turian. “Go get your lunch, Sol- you might want to eat something before Jane gets back, seeing as how you’re going to need to give her a report… complete with your _expert_ medical opinion, of course.” 

His sister shrank back, letting out a sad little rumble. “Yeah,” she said finally, flickering her eyes up to John, who just stared back blankly. The poor man’s eyes were glassy, but Garrus wasn’t fooled in the slightest- he was faking. _I’ve been drinking with you for far too long, Shepard_ , Garrus thought as he watched the man on the bed across from him. _You might be able to fool her, but it won’t work on me- you’re not getting off that easy._ She reached over, then patted John on the shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later, ok?” 

John just nodded, his movements slow as he turned his head to Garrus. “I can stay,” he slurred, trying to lean back on the cot. “I don’t mind.” 

_Oh no,_ Garrus thought, grabbing the man before his head hit the mattress. _Not this time, you sneaky bastard._ “Time to give the doc back her room, Shepard,” he said as he hooked his arm over him and lifted the man off the bed. “You’ve got a perfectly good bed… _of your own_.”

His meaning was not lost on Sol, who winced as they left the room. When Garrus was sure Sol couldn’t hear them anymore, he turned to Shepard, who was still trying to act as if he was under the influence of the pain meds. “You can quit acting now,” he said quietly as they entered his room. “Save that act for Sol, Shepard- I already know you can run down a suspect on foot after drinking half a bottle of liquor, so one little shot isn’t going to put you under like this.”

John sighed, instantly straightening up and heading over to sit on his bed. “You couldn’t let me just have this one, Vakarian?”

Despite his irritation, Garrus smiled. “I’m a better detective than that,” he replied smugly. “I’m also highly curious as to what exactly you think you’re doing with my sister, Shepard.”

“Do we have to do this _now_?” John whined, holding out his injured arm. “I’m broken, Vakarian- I need time to recover.”

“My sister won’t admit it, but she’s on the verge of mating with you,” he said firmly. “And I’m inclined to tell her she’s making a mistake.” 

At that, John bristled, his grey eyes hard and angry. “This isn’t your business,” he growled. “This is between me and Sol… not you.” 

“No,” he said firmly, crossing his arms and glaring at him. With the way John was glowering, Garrus was actually glad that the man was injured- he might have held back with Ash, but he had no illusions of him pulling any punches with him. “I don’t think you understand,” he said tersely. “This isn’t one of your little ‘flings’, John- this is my sister… and this is her life.”

John twisted his face with rage. “What the fuck is _that_ supposed to mean? Are you fucking implying that I’m not good enough for your sister?”

Garrus sighed. “I’ve seen you, Shepard- I’ve seen you dump women for trivial reasons, I’ve seen you hit on everything with legs… and even some that didn’t have any.” John looked away, but the turian wasn’t done. “And I don’t judge you, John- you’re young and you’re allowed to have fun. But…you can’t do that with Sol,” he said firmly. “She’s not like you- she doesn’t work that way. She never took to things like that, even when it would benefit her.” He stared up at John, then crossed his arms. “So, yes- I guess I am saying that my sister is worth more than being John Shepard’s object of the week because I don’t want to see her swept up in the aftermath of it… like _Ashley_ ,” he said pointedly. “You caused that situation, Shepard… no matter how much I care about you, I’m not letting something like that become her future.”

He thought John was going to start screaming at him, but the man just gingerly laid down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Do you really think you’re telling me something I don’t know?” He turned his head, then let out a soft huff. “I know exactly what I’ve done… and I know I don’t deserve Sol,” John said quietly. “But it doesn’t change a damn thing.”

“She cares about you,” Garrus replied, watching his reactions closely. “She doesn’t do that lightly, John.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” John replied, running his hand over his hair. “She told me the stories about some of her old boyfriends- how they didn’t realize what they had is beyond me.” He shook his head, letting out a shaky laugh. “God, those guys were idiots.” 

Garrus stared at him, not sure how he wanted to proceed. “Do you care about her?” 

“Yeah,” John replied quickly- despite the meds in his system, there was no hesitation in his voice. “She’s my best friend,” he said as he turned to look at Garrus, his expression completely serious. “And I don’t know what this is with us, but I want to see where it goes,” he admitted, looking a little embarrassed. “But I know one thing- if it means that I’m going to lose her friendship, then we can stop this right now,” he said firmly. “I care about her way too much to fuck that up.”

Garrus sighed, running his hand over his fringe. “Say, for the sake of argument, you do continue this… what happens, John? She’s got a life back on Palaven- what are you going to do when she has to leave? And let’s not even talk about how my dad is going to tear off his own plates when he finds out- are you willing to take her in when he disowns her? Because you know he will.” He shook his head and let out a dejected hum, then stared back at his partner. “I’m not even sure my mother can stop that one.” 

“Why are you making this so hard,” John asked, his tone sharp and angry. “You and Janey are fine… you two got the space to make your own decisions- why can’t we be left alone to see where this goes?” 

“Because I don’t think you understand just how much I was willing to give up for Jane,” he replied, staring sadly at his friend. “My dad still won’t speak to me,” he said bitterly. “Not like I’m complaining, but Sol is different, John- what he thinks is still important to her.”

“ _Sol_ is important to me,” John fumed, pointing angrily at Garrus. “Your dad needs to realize that what she wants matters, Vakarian- his daughter isn’t a fucking pawn or a goddamn piece of property!” The man gritted his teeth, then flopped angrily against the pillows. “And I’m sorry, but with all due respect… _fuck your dad_ ,” he growled. “I swear, that man is lucky your mom is amazing because I might have just flown out there to kick his teeth down his throat.” 

Garrus paused, leaning back in the chair. “Funny, I thought only _I_ was this irritated with him… am I missing something?” 

John thought about it for a moment, then sighed. “It’s Sol’s business,” he said finally, looking over at him. “But suffice it to say that the way he handled the outcome of her last date did not win him any points in my book.” Garrus cocked his head, but John held firm. “Again, not my place to share- it’s her story, man.” 

Garrus sighed- instantly, he realized that the man in front of him might just know his sister a little bit better than he did, and the thought was more than a bit sobering. “You know if she bonds to you and you leave or let her down, it’s going to destroy her,” he said, staring at the floor. “Knowing that, could you really do that to her? That’s my sister,” he said quietly. “I might not act like it, but I care about her- I can’t let you break her heart, John.” 

“Honestly?” John laughed and stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to Garrus, a sad little smile running over his face. “I’m way more scared of her breaking mine.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane climbed into bed, watching her husband shift uncomfortably before reaching out to her and burying his head in her chest. “Hey,” she said softly, running her hand over his fringe, “what’s going on?” 

He let out a deep sigh, his sub-vocals louder than normal. “I take it you didn’t talk to anyone when you got back, did you?” 

Jane shook her head. “Nope- after spending all goddamn day trapped in a car with Lt. Planko, I was peopled out.” She smiled, then lowered her head to his. “I had to come straight up here and cuddle with my favorite spiky boy to decompress,” she said teasingly. “But it _has_ been strangely quiet,” she noted, thinking about it for a moment. “Even Ash didn’t say a word to me, which was surprising- I think I’m actually getting used to her bitching, believe it or not.” 

“I guess it is true,” Garrus said with a laugh, his mandibles tickling as they fluttered against her skin. “You humans really _can_ get adjust to just about anything.” 

“We’re adaptable,” Jane said proudly, tilting his chin up so she could kiss him. “But that doesn’t explain why my husband is so distracted that he didn’t even grill me about a mission with his rival.” 

“That man isn’t even _close_ to being my rival,” Garrus retorted, lifting his head to place a kiss on her bondmark. “He can play stupid all he wants, but I know who you’re out there trying to come home to.”

“Damn right,” Jane replied, tracing her fingers over his bondmark. “So, since we've got that settled… what’s got you so flustered, big guy?” 

Garrus sighed. “I wanted Sol to have to do this… not me. Figures she’d make herself scarce when I actually need her to run her mouth.” Jane just stared at him, not quite sure what he was talking about, but feeling more and more intrigued by the second. “Long story short, Ash dislocated John’s arm, so Sol punched her in the face.”

Jane froze against her husband, unsure as to what she should do. “You mean to tell me,” she said coldly, “that bitch downstairs not only put her hands on my _brother_ …” She felt her voice rising and her heart beginning to pound in her ears- no matter how much she fought against it, her hands kept clenching into fists, “... but she had the _audacity_ to look me in my face like nothing happened?” She started to get up from the bed, but her husband gripped her around her waist. “Let me go,” she said coldly, resting a hand on his arm. “I need to go kill her now.” 

“No need, remember?” Garrus said lightly, his sub-vocals rumbling as he ran his hands over her arms and sat up, pulling her against his plates. “As I said before, Sol already beat you to it- if she’s got even an ounce of a brain in her head, then I’m pretty sure she’s going to think twice before opening her mouth again.” 

Jane grumbled, shifting to settle against him and run her hands over his chest plates. “I still want to kill her… and I want to buy Sol an ice cream.” When Garrus let out a soft laugh, Jane finally allowed herself to smile. “How’s Johnny?” 

“Nothing a good torture session with the doc and a dose of medi-gel couldn’t fix,” he replied. “However, we have a bigger problem than Sol and Ash, actually.” 

“You must mean Saren,” Jane said teasingly. “Cause I can’t imagine any of our problems being bigger than that bitch, honestly.” 

“You would think,” Garrus said with a sigh, running his hand up and down her back- for the umpteenth time, Jane wished he could actually feel him touching her back there. “It’s Sol and John, Jane.”

Jane thought about it for a minute, then gasped. “Holy shit,” she breathed, staring at her husband in amazement. “They _are_ sleeping together!” 

Garrus shook his head. “If it was just stress relief, I don’t think I’d be this worried,” he admitted. “I think she cares about him, Jane.”

Jane just sighed, snuggling against her husband. “Good,” she replied, absentmindedly stroking his mandible. “She’s good for him.” Her husband shifted, so Jane moved to get a better look at his face. “Why? What’s wrong with you?”

“You’ve been at war with your brother’s ex for years,” he said carefully, watching her as if he expected her to explode at any given moment. “Is there a reason you aren’t ready to tear my sister’s plates off right now?”

“Yep,” Jane replied, kissing Garrus and running her finger across his lip plates, making him let out an approving hum. “Because Sol is good for him, that’s why.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Garrus said cautiously, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger. “What makes you say that?” 

“Because I watch them when they’re together,” she said firmly. “He’s still Johnny- he’s not putting on this front of ‘I gotta be the perfect guy that everyone loves’ when he’s around her. He’s not afraid to be wrong and he cares about her- you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed that.” Garrus chuffed, but Jane just laughed. “Think about when everyone was teasing him- did he ever once look like ‘ew, this idea is terrible’, or was it more like ‘fuck, I don’t want to get into this with everyone right now’?”

“I don’t exactly recall,” Garrus said stiffly, pressing his hands to her waist. “I was too busy being irritated to notice.” 

“Trust me,” Jane murmured, placing a kiss on his chest, “he cares about her, and so do I- if I thought he was going to be a dick about it, I’d be the first one to say so. Besides, your mom has been trying to hook them up for a while now.” When Garrus let out a strangled chirp, Jane looked up and grinned. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice?” 

“No,” he ground out, “I certainly had _not_ \- I would’ve said something if I had… _to my mother_.” 

“Who do you think convinced her to come to the Citadel?” Jane asked teasingly, running her hand across his cheek and laughing as he buried his face in her hair. “I swear, you men can be so oblivious sometimes.” 

“Only where women are concerned,” he murmured into her hair, rumbling as she rested her hands on his waist. “I think your species does it on purpose.” 

“Shhh,” Jane whispered, climbing on top of him and resting her forehead against his. “Keep that quiet, big guy- I don’t want to get in trouble for clueing you in.” 


	25. Rounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane makes some rounds onboard the Normandy

_ _

* * *

As he was getting ready, Jane stormed into Nihlus’s room, her face twisted with rage. Before he could say a word, Jane was in his face, her grey eyes blazing with fury. “I want her off my ship, Nihlus.” 

Nihlus sighed- he was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. “Jane,” he replied, getting to his feet and trying to reason with the angry woman, “I know that what happened yesterday was... _unfortunate_ , but rest assured that I assume responsibility for her actions-”

“Good,” she snarled. Before he could even blink, Jane had hauled off and punched him in the eye, hard. “Assume _that_ responsibility- get the bitch off my ship, Nih.” 

Tampering down the urge to fight back, Nih brought his hand to his rapidly swelling eye and sighed- her blow was precise and strong, just as he’d taught her. “So you did remember something from our training,” he replied, sitting back down and rubbing his face. When Jane didn’t respond, he sighed again. “She needs structure and discipline, Jane.” 

“She needs to get ready to pry my foot out of her ass,” Jane growled, pacing back and forth. “Not _only_ did she try to break my brother’s arm, but she tried to fight Sol!” She kicked the nearby trash can, scattering the contents across his floor. “God, what the fuck is _wrong_ with that bitch!” 

“I know you don’t want to hear this,” Nihlus said slowly, knowing that he might have to stop her from coming at him again, “but your brother bears a high level of responsibility for how this has progressed, Jane.” When she whirled around with wide eyes and pinched lips, Nihlus held up his hands to stop her. “Granted, he didn’t do anything that would warrant that level of behavior, but his ineptitude in handling the situation between them allowed it to progress to that point.”

Jane rolled her eyes, then plopped down on the bed next to him. “John never did like handling conflict,” she grumbled. “Always tried to avoid it or talk his way out of it- usually worked, though.” 

“Well, it didn’t this time,” Nihlus said dryly. “The state of my face right now is a testament to that.” 

Finally, Jane looked at him and winced, gingerly touching the rapidly swelling tissue around his eye. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry, Nih- I didn’t mean to do that…” 

“Neither did she,” he said pointedly, making Jane put her head in her hands. “The situation between them just escalated to a level beyond what anyone had planned for… just like this one.” He reached over, wrapping an arm around the mortified commander. “The only difference is that you’re a bit more aware of your actions than she is- I believe that with time and instruction, she can reach that level of awareness as well.” 

“You’ve got a lot of faith in her,” Jane griped, folding her hands in her lap. “Why are you sticking your neck… and your face out for her? You’ve been covering her ass this entire time and she’s dead fucking weight, Nih- let the bitch go!” 

He sighed, running his hand over his fringe. “I can’t,” he admitted, looking over at Jane and trying to ignore the disbelief on her face. “I… see too much of myself in her- I know that she can change… because I did.” 

Jane just stared at him, the confusion evident on her face. “You can’t have been that bad, Nih.” 

“I was,” he replied with a laugh, shaking his head. “I was good, but no one wanted to recognize that there was more than one way to get things done. No one wanted me- no matter what I did, I got shuffled from team to team… until I met Saren.” He sighed, then stared at his hands. “He was the first person to see that I _mattered_ , Jane… he saw something in me that no one else did, and he helped me.” Nihlus looked up, his normal aloofness gone and replaced with a rare showing of genuine emotion. “You’ve always had John to believe in you, but I read her file, Jane- Ash and I are both outsiders. I was shunned because of my birthplace- she was shunned because of her grandfather’s actions. With help, I grew to become something more… I believe she could do the same, Jane.” 

“You have a good heart, Nih,” Jane said wearily, placing her hand on his leg. “Are you sure you want to deal with all of this for her? Will she even appreciate it?”

“I didn’t appreciate it at the time,” Nihlus admitted, resting his hand on hers. “But I do now." When she just stared at him, Nihlus gave a long sigh. "Look, I am aware that this is your ship, and you have every right to dismiss her for her actions. But, I am asking you… _as your friend_ … to please give me the chance to repay what may be the only ounce of good Saren has left me with.” He swallowed, letting out a dejected rumble. “I _need_ to prove he saw something good in me instead of wondering if it was just the potential to become a monster like him.” 

Jane stared at him for a moment, then wrapped her arms around him. “You’re on the ground today,” she replied, briefly pressing her lips to his cheekbone before lightly patting the side of his face. “Take Williams and Tali- see if you guys can find that Geth outpost and bring it down while I do some digging on Saleon for Garrus.”

Nihlus closed his eyes and sighed, _She doesn’t know,_ he told himself, letting out a soft rumble as he wrapped an arm around her. _Spirits help me, I hope she never does_. “And you would pick _today_ to land a perfect hit on my eye,” Nihlus replied irritably. “I think my depth perception is sorely lacking at the moment… thanks to a certain commander.” 

Jane’s eyes widened- she gently touched the rapidly swelling tissue and winced. “Oh shit, Nih- let me go get some medi-gel and an ice pack for that, ok?” Before he could stop her, Jane had raced out of the room, coming back moments later with the appropriate supplies. “ _Fuck_ ,” she said as she gently applied the ointment to his eye and held the cool compress against it, “do you think it’ll be okay in a few hours, or-” 

He just smiled, taking the compress from her and pressing it to his face. “I’ll be fine, Jane- if I got taken out by one little punch, I’d be disappointed in myself.” 

“ _Hey_ ,” she retorted, lightly poking him in his chest, “I gave you a pretty good punch, Nih- recognize my accomplishments, ok?”

At that, Nihlus finally laughed. shaking his head and trying to ignore the pang of jealousy that threatened to rear its head. “Fine… it was a very fine punch indeed, Jane.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane headed down to watch the Mako rumble away, still somewhat miffed. _Part of me hopes he leaves her out there,_ she thought, grumbling as she headed back toward the elevators. Just as she was about to hit the button, she heard a rumbling laugh from behind her. “Letting them take your baby out without you, huh?” 

She turned, seeing the krogan leaning against a pillar and staring at her. “Figured dividing and conquering wouldn’t be the worst thing,” she admitted. “I have to look into a shady doctor for Garrus, and Nih wanted to prove that Ash wasn’t a waste of space, so…” she shrugged, then smiled at Wrex. “Win-win, right?” 

“So you’re taking requests, huh?” The krogan walked over, punching the call button for the elevator. “Or are jobs on the Alliance dime only for your mate?”

Jane rolled her eyes as they got into the car, craning her neck to look up at the mercenary. “Depends on how fun they are,” she replied, offering Wrex a sly grin. “Does it involve me getting to be nosy and peek inside someone’s stuff?” The krogan gave a roaring laugh as they got off the elevator, passing Kaidan and Jenkins playing cards in the mess hall. Trying to be polite, Jane gave the two men a bright smile and a wave. “Enjoying the afternoon, guys?”

Kaidan’s face lit up at the greeting. “Just debating on a game of poker, but we seem to be short some players.” The lieutenant gestured to her and the krogan. “I don’t suppose you two play?”

“Whelp, I’ve fleeced so many of you humans at this game that it’s barely fun anymore.” Wrex glanced over at Jane, then sat down. “You in, commander?” 

_Fuck it- this counts as bonding, right?_ “You guys might regret this,” Jane said, settling into the open seat between Kaidan and Wrex. “Fun only- can’t exactly go stealing my crew member’s money.”

“Can’t play poker without stakes,” Kaidan said with a grin. “Any suggestions? Protein bars, maybe?”

“If that’s the case, I’d lose on purpose- I’ll save those nasty chalk logs for you biotics,” Jane said with a laugh. “Here’s a thought- let’s play for information then,” Jane glanced over at Wrex, who gave her a slight nod. _Smart guy_ , she thought, watching as the krogan dealt the cards. _He can tell I’m trying to be nice_. “I’m sure you guys have a lot of interesting stories- I know I do.” 

“I’m in,” the krogan replied, settling into his seat. “If I’m stuck on this tin can with you, I might as well see what makes you guys tick- might make me less pissed about putting my job off.” 

Jane stared at the krogan, a frown crossing her face. “I didn’t know I was keeping you from work, Wrex- why didn’t you say something?”

“Eh,” the krogan replied, making his bet. “It’s more personal than professional, anyway- I’ll find it eventually.” 

“Then I hope you find what you’re looking for,” Kaidan said, glancing over at Jane for a moment before returning to his cards. Soon, all bets had been placed- Jenkins folded, but the others remained, staring at each other as intently as if credits had been on the line. “Call,” the lieutenant said, glancing at his opponents. “And I hope you’re ready to share something good.” 

“Cocky, aren’t we?” Jane asked, letting her expression go flat. “Since you’re so certain, show us whatcha got, LT.” 

He lowered his cards, revealing two pairs- Jane let out a low whistle. “Impressive,” she murmured, leaning back and stroking her chin, causing Jenkins to chuckle as he got up to get something to drink. “But can our big, bad krogan do better?” 

“Always,” Wrex replied, his hand- he also had two pair. “See here? _This_ is better, kid.” The krogan turned to Jane and snorted- Jenkins laughed as he returned to his seat. “Beat that, commander.” 

Jane looked back at her hand, then grinned. “Your stories are mine,” she said in a deep throaty voice, dramatically sweeping the tokens toward her. “Pay up, boys.” She turned to Wrex, tapping her finger against her cheek. “So, oh great mysterious krogan, what is it that you’re looking for out here?” 

“My family armor,” he replied, gathering the cards and handing them to Jenkins so he could shuffle. “Some asshole pirate has it holed away in his private collection- I intend to get it back.”

“Well,” she said slowly, “having a spectre as your backup might not be the worst thing.” The old krogan looked at her, then nodded. “Maybe we should go over some strategies to… _liberate_ sed armor.” 

“Why commander,” Kaidan said teasingly, showing a glimmer of a personality for once. “Do my ears deceive me, or is our newest spectre talking about thievery?” 

“Hey, it’s not thievery... it’s returning stolen property,” Jane retorted, making the man next to her laugh as he collected his cards. “And don’t think you’re getting off that easily- you owe me a story too, Alenko.” 

“Rules are rules,” he replied, folding his hands together and staring at her. “What do you want to know, commander?” 

_Hmm… what do I want to know while the puppet is acting like a real boy?_ She looked up for a moment, then gave him a wicked grin. “How do you get your hair to stand up like that? Are you hoarding a lifetime supply of gel we don’t know about?” 

Jenkins let out a snort, and Wrex gave a bellowing laugh, slapping Jane on the shoulder. “Way to ask the burning questions, Shepard.” 

She shrugged, a wide grin on her face. “ _What?_ I’m curious- he’s the only one who always looks fresh when the rest of us roll out of the bed looking like death.” She crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair. “I just want to know if he’s secretly awake an hour before the rest of us crafting his look- if so, I want pointers.” 

Alenko just stared at her for a moment, then shook his head, laughing. “Um... it’s a side effect of my implants,” he admitted sheepishly. “The static buildup makes it stand up like this- I just stopped trying to fight it and made it work for me.”

“Maybe _that’s_ why Johnny always has better hair than me,” Jane groused, making the others laugh. “On that note, I’m getting some water- does anyone else need anything?”

“Have a seat, commander,” Kaidan replied, placing a hand on her shoulder and offering her a polite smile. “You won the round- I’ll volunteer as the help and get it,” he replied, getting up from the table. “Wrex, would you like something?” 

“Alcohol,” he replied, earning a punch in the arm from Jane. “But our commander is being a pyjack, so I guess water is fine.” 

While Kaidan was in the kitchen and Jenkins was focused on dealing, Jane leaned over to the old krogan. “I know you cheated for me,” she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. “Thanks, Wrex.” 

“Anytime, Shepard,” he replied, taking care not to disturb the private at the other end. “But now it’s time to see just how well you do when you’re on your own.”

_ _

* * *

The ship was fairly quiet- Tali and Liara had left on a mission, and Garrus and John were both in the cockpit, talking with Joker. She’d spent most of the day hiding in the medbay, conspicuously not talking to John and actively avoiding Jane- she didn’t want to face either of them about her behavior just yet. _I’ll give her a day to cool off,_ she thought as she ran an errand for Chakwas. Slowly, Sol crept past the comms room, hoping that her sister wouldn’t notice her- she fervently wished that some new, more pressing problem would emerge and Sol’s territorial behavior over John would take a backseat to them saving the galaxy. 

However, she wasn’t to be so lucky- as soon as Sol moved past the door, she heard Jane call out to her. “Hey, Sol- you got a minute?” 

_How rude would it be if I said no_ , Sol mused, letting out a dejected little hum as she crept into the comms room. “Hi, Janey,” Sol said brightly, looking around the room furtively. She was unsure as to what she should do, so the turian did what she always did when she was nervous- she rambled. “Been a long day, huh? Maybe you’re hungry? I can always ask Gar to help me make you something to eat- I haven’t had as much practice with levo food, so getting help won’t be the worst thing, right?” The turian let out a nervous chirp, then stood next to the door. “In fact, I’m sure a nice meal would be perfect- I’ll go leave and do that now!”

“Sol, would you sit down and talk to me, please?” Jane replied with a laugh, raising her head to smile at her. “Seriously, you look you’re about to keel over in front of me- what gives, Sol?” 

The look on her sister’s face was too much- the turian let out a loud groan. “I’m so sorry!” Sol pleaded, reaching out for Jane. “I didn’t mean to hit her, I promise- she just made me so mad when I saw her hurting Johnny, and-”

“Sol, please calm down.” Jane reached over, gently squeezing her hand, “I’m not mad, I promise- I’m more concerned about you,” she said kindly, her eyes searching her face. “You know, I’ve been staring at this screen for hours- want to come back to my room and hang out for a little while?” 

Sol nodded eagerly, then her face fell. “I was on an errand for the doctor,” she said wistfully. “I need to and report back to her.”

“Cool,” Jane replied with a shrug, getting up and stretching. “Mind if I walk with you? I miss you, kiddo,” she said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “What good is having my sister on this ship if I never get the chance to talk to her?” 

“I guess that’s true,” Sol said, getting up from her seat. “Honestly, I thought you might hate me,” she said quietly. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Jane.” 

“You say that a lot,” Jane mused as they walked down the hall. “Sol, why do you always think you’re embarrassing someone? Has someone here told you that- if they have, let me know who did it and we can talk to them-” 

“No one here, but Dad always says I’m an embarrassment,” Sol said glumly, staring at her feet as they walked down the hall. “Says I’m not serious enough and I need to ‘respect the family’ and ‘prepare for my role’, especially since…” Realizing who she was talking to, Sol let her voice trail off, then gave a nervous chirp. “Well, he’s been saying that a lot lately.” 

Jane nodded. “Since Garrus and I bonded, right?” When Sol nodded miserably, Jane sighed, shaking her head. “Sol, you have to know that he’s wrong, ok? You are _not_ an embarrassment,” Jane said firmly, taking her hand as they entered the medbay. “You are strong, confident, funny, and sweet- I can’t imagine having a better sister.” 

“Don’t forget smart,” Chakwas replied as she examined the readings Sol had given her. “You’ve made these days a bit brighter by being here, Sol- I learn just as much from you as you do from me.” The doctor rested an arm on the turian, making the sides of her neck flush. “I’m grateful that the commander was smart enough to let you stay.” 

Jane hopped up on a cot, her legs swinging back and forth. “Same here... especially since you did me a solid and punched Ash in the face.” Sol winced, but the other two women just chuckled. “What?” Jane asked innocently, folding her hands and batting her eyelashes. “Did I say something wrong?” 

“Jane,” Chakwas said warningly, shaking her head, “you should be nice… even if the woman in question has the manners of a toddler and the social skills to match.”

Sol clapped a hand to her mouth and stared at the older woman, who just shrugged as she sat back down. “Doctor! You can’t say things like that!” 

“She’s right,” Jane replied, leaning back on the cot and closing her eyes. “Let’s just hope that Nih can drill some sense into her head… otherwise I might have to send you back into the ring, Sol.” 

“I wasn’t trying to fight, honest!” Sol looked at the other two women, then blushed when they started chuckling. “It just happened!” 

Chakwas cleared her throat. “Sounds like territorial behavior to me,” she teased, shooting a look at Jane. “Nothing to worry about, darling- it’s common for turians to be protective of their mates.” 

Jane grinned, but Sol was mortified. “I... we… I haven’t…” She turned to Jane, who still smiling at her. “I’m not _mated_ to John, I swear!”

“Do you want to be?” Jane asked kindly, glancing over to her. “And while I am enjoying teasing the crap out of you, I’m one-hundred percent in favor of this- I will have your back no matter what, and if my brother steps out of line, I will happily kick his ass for you.” 

Sol just blinked. “Really?” 

Jane nodded. “The most important thing is that you both are happy- fuck everyone else. So, that being said,” she said seriously, staring at the turian so intently it made her throat go dry, “if you guys decide to try this out, do you promise to look out for him, Sol?” 

“I do that now, Janey,” she whispered. “Johnny is my best friend- I don’t want that to change.” 

“Good,” she replied with a soft smile. “Because that’s exactly what he needs, Sol.”


	26. Can you handle the truth?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is winding down from the events of the day

_ _

* * *

As they got back on the ship, Nihlus watched as the soldier headed to the cargo bay, stripping off her helmet as she went. “You did good today,” Nihlus remarked as Williams took off her dirty armor and placed it in her locker. “Considering the state of my eye, I can safely say I couldn’t have done that mission without you.” 

The soldier frowned at him as he took off his armor, neatly resting it on the bench to clean it. “You gonna tell me what happened yet or you still trying to pretend that nothing’s wrong?” 

Nihlus laughed, sitting on the bench and wiping off the grime from his chest piece. “The only thing wrong is you putting your armor away without cleaning it first- bring it back out here, Williams.” 

“I was going to do it after I ate,” she huffed, putting her hands on her hips. “It can wait.” 

“ _Or_ ,” he said pointedly, staring at the soldier and trying his best not to laugh at her, “you could do it now.” She groaned but did as he asked, flopping loudly into the seat next to him. “Start cleaning, Williams.” 

“So,” Ashley said as she gave her armor a half-hearted swipe, “since you’re making me sit with you, how about you tell me why you look like you’re one step away from rocking an eye patch?” 

He gave an amused hum, settling in his chair and cocking his head at her. “I didn’t know you even knew what I looked like on a normal basis, Williams.” She glared at him but he just laughed. “Suffice it to say your performance today was worth any discomfort on my part.” 

For all her faults, he was proud to note the soldier was not stupid- she paused for a moment, then frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing you have to worry about,” Nihlus replied, dodging her question. “What you should be concerned with is how terribly you’re cleaning that armor, Williams- do it right or don’t do it at all.” 

Williams, however, was not fooled. “I thought you said turians don’t lie,” she retorted, her posture tense as she glared at him. “What aren’t you telling me, Kryik?” 

He looked at her and let out a deep sigh. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

She shook her head. “No sir,” she replied, standing up straight. “You’re hiding something from me and I want to know why.”

“ _Fine_ ,” he said irritably. “Since _you_ didn’t deem it necessary to own up to the consequences of your rage and ineptitude, I took the punishment for your little temper tantrum the other day. That’s what a good CO does, Williams- they deal with the ramification of their squad’s actions.” Nihlus hadn’t intended to get angry, but his irritation was quickly rising to the surface. “Because of _you_ , I got into an altercation with my friend, who was well within her rights to summarily dismiss you- the state of my eye is the price I paid for you to stay on this ship.” He glared at her, fighting back the growl rising in his throat. “Are you happy now? Is your burning curiosity satiated?” When she just nodded, Nihlus threw down his rag and got up from the bench. “Clean these up,” he snarled. “I don’t want to see you until they’re both sparkling, understood?” 

“Yes sir,” Ash replied quietly as Nihlus stormed off, unsure why the encounter had irritated him so. 

_ _

* * *

“I’ve officially decided that I’m done being the commanding officer,” Jane replied as she walked into the cockpit, making the three men’s heads turn toward her. “Between punching my friend and making nice with the crew, I’m exhausted- I need to be mean now.” 

John just smirked, getting up from the co-pilot’s char. “So, everyone else gets nice Jane and we get her evil twin?” John laughed as he grabbed her face, placing a loud and exaggerated kiss on her cheek before settling back in his chair. “How is that fair, Janey?” 

Jane stuck out her tongue at her brother before heading over to Garrus, leaning against his chest and sighing as he wrapped his arms around her. “Because I won’t make you guys burst into tears if I say the wrong thing,” she grumbled. “Commander Shepard is off the clock right now- Brainy Janey is reporting for duty.”

Joker snickered. “Before the commander punches out, do you mind telling me where the hell I’m going? I find it kinda nice when I don’t have to fly around with my head up my ass.”

“Tuntau,” Jane replied, glancing up at Garrus for a second before shifting her attention back to her pilot. “We’re apparently keeping Wrex from some very important thievery- I don’t know about you, but I like to keep the krogan that could break me in two happy.”

Joker didn’t look at her- he just punched in the coordinates. “And the council is ok with you taking our favorite mercenary on what you just know is going to be a murder spree?” 

“Hey, I’m out here… well, Nih is out here destroying those geth outposts for them,” she retorted, walking over to John’s chair and trying to push him out of it. When her brother kept resisting, she plopped down on his lap, hard- without a second thought, he shoved her to the floor. “Hey,” she yelled, glaring up at him, “that hurt, you evil bastard!”

“Well, you just crushed my nuts!” John howled, gripping between his legs and hissing. “Not everybody has a retractable dick, Jane!” 

“I really want to know how you know that… and yet I really don’t,” Joker replied, not taking his eyes off the screen. “Do you guys ever plan on growing up?” 

“I’m going to say no,” Garrus replied, helping Jane to her feet and placing a kiss on her forehead. “But even so... good job, honey.” 

“I hate you both,” John wheezed, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “You can go away now, Jane- I was so much healthier without you.” 

“Anyway,” Jane replied, ignoring her brother, “I need some more time to sift through these files of yours, Garrus- that doc is slippery as fuck, and Saren wiping data left and right isn’t helping.” 

“We don’t have any other leads?” Garrus asked, pulling the ponytail holder out of her hair and letting the long strands feather around her face. “Were you able to find anything?”

“There’s a few promising ones,” Jane replied, moaning softly as he lightly scratched her scalp with his talons. “But I want to be sure before we go- this thing for Wrex is pretty concrete, so that should give me some time to do some digging.”

“While you're sitting around conversing, is there any word on Saren?” a voice asked tersely from the doorway. “Or are we no longer focusing on that?” 

“Dude, what the fuck happened to your face?” John asked, gingerly touching his own eye. “You look like you got hit with a brick!” 

Nihlus rolled his eyes, then leaned against the wall. “Your _sister_ happened,” he said irritably. “Because _you_ can’t keep your dick in your pants, you’ve turned your ex-girlfriend into a rabid varren.”

“Well, thanks to Janey, we don’t have to worry about John sticking it into anyone anytime soon,” Joker muttered, earning a snort from Garrus. “Janey, didn’t we just have a talk about not punching people in the face? I could’ve sworn those words came out of my mouth.” 

“He earned it,” Jane grumbled, chuckling as Garrus let out a satisfied-sounding rumble. “Ash is a fucking waste of space.”

“She did good today,” Nihlus replied, ignoring her growl. “We destroyed the outpost and got a good lead on the next one- I think we might finish this foolish errand for your Admiral shortly.” 

“Glad to know they’re comfortable with us running around and blowing shit up,” John grumbled. “So, do they plan to let us know where this fucker is at any point?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Jane replied, glancing down at her omnitool. “Just rumblings- Uncle David is going to let me know when he finds something more concrete.” She turned to John, who no longer looked like he wanted to kill her. “Can I count on you two to help with this mission for Wrex?” 

Nihlus cleared his throat, then raised his hand. “I’d be happy to help, Shepard- It’s no trouble.” 

Jane shook her head. “I need you to rest up- if Williams isn’t fucking up your missions, then you get to keep her.”

“You realize I _am_ the senior spectre, right?” Nihlus rolled his eyes. “You could show me just a smidgen of respect, Jane.” 

“Well, you should’ve thought about that before you decided to be dead,” she retorted, giving him a broad grin and finally getting a playful flick of his mandibles in return. “Dead guys get scrap missions- it’s a rule.” 

“Now you’re just making things up,” Nihlus replied, earning a laugh from Joker. “At any rate, I’m going to see the doctor about getting something to reduce the swelling of my eye- I trust I won’t be awakened with another bout of fisticuffs in the morning?” 

“Nope,” she replied, feeling a little embarrassed for her actions but not sorry in the slightest- he earned that punch fair and square. “I’ve said my peace- she’s your problem now.” 

“Well on _that_ cheerful note, I’m going to go take a shower,” John replied, getting up and stretching. “I don’t want to be the last one in there again- taking a cold fucking shower is not fun, my friends.” 

“That's funny,” Garrus rumbled, looking him up and down, “I think a cold shower is exactly what you need- in fact, you might want to take two, John.”

“You hypocritical spiky bastard,” John sputtered, waving his hand in front of Jane, then back to Garrus. “You’re shitting me, right?”

“Unlike you, I’m _bonded_ ,” Garrus purred, placing a kiss on Jane’s neck and staring pointedly at John. “You got plans to mate with my sister anytime soon, Shepard?”

John just raised his middle finger at Garrus, then walked out the room, leaving a stunned Nihlus looking around the cockpit. Finally, he turned to Joker, confusion written on his face. “Is this normal?”

“Lately, yes,” he replied, folding his arms behind his head. “I’m surprised they lasted this long- we tend to have a fight every fifteen minutes these days.” 

Jane rolled her eyes, then hit her husband in the arm. “You need to stop,” she admonished. “He’s not doing anything wrong- stop meddling.” 

“ _Yet_ ,” Garrus said pointedly, nuzzling her neck. “He’s not doing anything wrong _yet_.” When she glared at him, Garrus let out a deep sigh. “Just let me bother him for a few more days… _if_ he’s still serious about being with Sol after that… then I guess I’ll leave him alone.” 

“You’re all idiots,” Nihlus said, shaking his head before patting Jane on the shoulder. “I’m leaving now- Jane, can you _please_ try not to break anyone else in the meantime?”

“I make no promises,” she replied with a sly grin.

_ _

* * *

Sol was sitting in her room and giving JC his dinner when she heard the door chime. Too engrossed in what she was doing, she didn’t even glance to see who it was. “Come in.”

“You in the habit of just letting everyone in here, Tiny?” John gave a soft laugh and Sol snapped her head up, staring at the man leaning casually against the door frame. “And here I thought I was special- go figure.” 

Sol immediately got to her feet, blushing as she lowered her head- they hadn’t talked to each other since the fight, and she was unsure as to how he would react to seeing her behave in such an awful manner. Deep down, she knew he wasn’t that mad at her- there’d been signs of him coming by her room and taking care of JC for her while she was out, but actually talking to him about what happened made her want to curl up into a hole and die. “Um,” she said nervously, shuffling from foot to foot, “hey.” 

“Hey yourself,” he replied, letting out a soft laugh. “Mind if I come in, or is the doorway close enough?” When she stared at him, he apologetically raised his hands. “Look, I promise that I will sit far, far away from you- I know you’ve been avoiding me, so...” 

Instantly, Sol’s jaw dropped and she clasped her hand to her mouth. “No, it’s not that!” Sol let out a tiny squeak, then glanced around the room. “Well, _yeah_ , I’ve been staying out of the way, but it’s only because I know you don’t want to see me and I feel so bad about everything and-” 

Shaking his head, John crossed the room, wrapping her in his arms. “Just breathe, Tiny,” he said, rubbing her back as he guided her to the bed. “Calm down and talk to me, ok?” 

_He must’ve just gotten out of the shower,_ she noted, glancing over him- his dark curls were plastered to his head, and he was wearing his old C-Sec t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. As they sat down, she tried not to focus on how close he was or the scent of what he called shampoo wafting off him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, closing her eyes and fumbling with her fingers, “I didn’t mean to get like that, I promise.” 

John just laughed, reaching over and pulling her close to him- forgetting herself for a moment, Sol leaned against his chest, inhaling the scent of grass and fresh air that seemed to cling to him. “Tiny, why would I be mad about you saving the day,” he asked, lightly pressing his lips to her forehead. “I’d have been a lot worse off had you _not_ showed up.” 

“Yeah, but...” Sol stammered out, trying to get her bearings- keeping a coherent thought in her head with him so close was difficult. “I was acting like I was your mate,” she said remorsefully. “That wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry- I didn’t have a right to do that.” 

“Wow… I didn’t realize being with me was such a bad idea,” John quipped, running a hand through his hair. Though his tone was light, she knew him better than that- there was an undercurrent of disappointment in his words. “Good to know- will file that away for later.” 

Sol glanced up at him and frowned. “That’s not fair and you know it, Johnny,” she retorted. “You already know turians mate for life- I can’t force something like that on you.”

“Who said you’re forcing it on me?” John leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers and gently stroking her fringe. “All I’m seeing is my best friend willing to take on the world for me... just like I’m willing to do for her. Anything else…” he shrugged, then gave her a smile. “Anything else, we can figure out later, right?”

Taking a deep breath, Sol nodded and closed her eyes, trying to control her rapid heartbeat as she pressed her forehead to his again. “Right,” she whispered, letting a contented sub-vocal roll over them. “Thank you,” she whispered. “That means a lot… _you_ mean a lot… and I don’t want that to change.” 

“Neither do I,” John replied, tilting her chin and brushing his lips across her lip plates- even though the sensation was strange, she found that she didn’t want him to stop doing it. “No matter how awkward or weird it might be, promise that we’ll always talk to each other about whatever’s bugging us, ok?” 

“What was _that_?” Sol asked quietly, looking at him in amazement and running her hands through his damp curls. “Was that how you kiss?” 

“Sure was,” he replied, gently running a finger over her mandible and smiling as Sol nuzzled her face into his hand. “Man, I missed you these last few days, Tiny- is that strange?” 

“If so, then I'm also strange... because I missed you too,” Sol admitted, then frowned when he got to his feet. “Wait, what’s going on?” She reached out for him, pressing her lip plates to his hand. She was coming to like this strange new method of kissing and started to wonder if she was doing it right. _I bet Ash could do it,_ she thought bitterly. _I bet he’d rather be kissing her than me._ “Did I do something wrong?”

“Never,” John replied, cupping the back of her neck with his hand as he leaned over to kiss her again. “I’m just trying to be responsible... cause if I stay here any longer, I’m liable to crawl into that bed with you.” 

“You’ve done it before,” Sol blurted out, then pressed her mandibles to the side of her face. “I mean, I just meant that-”

“I know,” he replied, resting his forehead on hers and making her gasp. “But I just want to give you your space- it’s been a rough few days.”

“But…” Sol paused for a minute, then blew out a deep breath. “But what if I don’t want space anymore?”

John raised his eyebrow at her. “Hate to break it to you, but you’re going to get it anyway, Tiny.” 

“I…” She laced her fingers in his, still marveling at how well his five fit with her three. “I just don’t want you to go… that’s all.” 

“I can’t stay,” he replied, brushing his thumb across her face as he rested his head against hers again, filling her body with warmth as they touched. “I’m going to spend all night kissing you if I do, and then I’m gonna wake up in the morning and have to have all kinds of awkward conversations with you…”

“I thought we promised to have all those awkward talks,” she said lightly, feeling a pleasant rumble in her chest as he brought his hand to the back of her neck. Hoping she was doing this right, Sol placed a hand on his cheek, then pressed her lip plates to his, lightly darting her tongue across them for a moment before letting out a soft hum. “Besides, if I get to spend the night with you, I think it might be worth it.”

He gave a sharp inhale as he squeezed her hand tighter, making her pulse start to race as he climbed into bed with her, draping his arm over her and resting his head against hers. “You’re making it pretty damn hard to say no to you, Sol.” 

“You never have before,” she whispered, snuggling closer to him and savoring the warmth coming from his soft skin. “Are you planning to start now?” 

“Never,” he replied, pressing his lips to hers and stroking her fringe as they lay together in the tiny bed, listening to the sounds of the ship settling down around them. “Never in a million years, Sol.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to @Rosebud1773 for staying up and helping me edit, even thought I know they're probably ready to punch me in the face... love you!


	27. Awkward Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew has a series of awkward encounters before heading out to get Wrex's armor

_ _

* * *

John woke up with his head resting against Sol and her arms draped over him. “Morning,” she whispered, her eyes checking him over as she played with his hair, which had to be sticking up in all kinds of ways- he hated sleeping on wet hair, but spending the night with her was worth it. “Did I wake you up?” 

John just smiled, feeling incredibly happy while simultaneously dreading the conversation Joker was going to initiate when he got back to his room. “Nah… I’m an early riser- you know that.” 

Immediately, Sol scrunched up her nose, then giggled. “You smell like JC right now, Johnny- why is that?” 

Groaning, he rolled on his back, glaring at the turian to his left before poking her in the side. _Has it really been that long since I stayed the full night with anyone?_ “Morning breath, Tiny- part of the package when you date a human.” He put his hand over his mouth, which only made her giggle even more, trying to yank it away. “Nope,” John retorted, shaking his head from side to side, “fun’s over- I’m going back to my room to sulk now.”

Sol nuzzled her face into his shoulder, finally making him break down and chuckle, resting his head against hers. “But what if I don’t want you to go?” 

“Should’ve thought about that before you compared me to that furball of yours,” John replied playfully, then groaned- he knew he had to be downstairs soon. “And as much as I want to spend the day in bed with you, I think Janey and Wrex might murder us both if I’m late.” Being careful not to breathe on her, he placed a kiss on his forehead and was only mildly surprised when she lifted her head to press her lips to his. “You picked that up fast,” he remarked, sitting up and trying unsuccessfully to fix his hair. “Were you holding out on me the whole time?” 

“I’m a fast learner,” Sol said proudly, leaning against him when he draped his arm around her shoulders. “And…” she murmured shyly, letting her mandibles fluttering against his arm, “I like it.” 

“You’re terrible,” he whispered, resting his head against hers. “I’m going to need you to stop being so adorable so I can go save the galaxy, Tiny.”

She let out a soft little hum, wrapping her arms around him and pressing herself against him. “But you’re warm,” she murmured, rubbing his back. “Can the galaxy wait a little while?”

He laughed, kissing her again before standing up. “I’ll be sure to tell all the bad guys that we’re going to have to reschedule because my girlfriend didn’t want to let me out of bed- I’m sure they’ll be accomodating.” Instantly, Sol froze and John groaned, putting his hand to his head- his last words were dancing around his head and teasing him mercilessly. “Shit, Tiny- I didn’t mean… well, I did, but I don’t... _fuck!_ ” 

_Way to go, dumbass,_ John thought, shaking his head as he desperately racked his brain for a way to fix this. “I’m sorry,” he pleaded, forcing himself to stay rooted to the spot when every nerve in his body was telling him to run and not look back. “I’m not trying to make this hard for you, I promise- I know what something like that means, and I… I won’t joke like that again… I’m sorry.” He glanced over at the door, wondering what was an appropriate amount of time to wait before dashing for the exit. “And cue one John Shepard, professional asshole, entering the situation right on time to fuck shit up for everyone.” 

Sol just stared at him, crossing her arms and twitching her mandibles. “You know, you’re cute when you’re flustered, Johnny.” 

He paused for a minute then stared at her, trying to make his brain work again. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Sol replied, getting up and placing a kiss on his cheek. “You can calm down, Johnny… I’m not going to tie myself to you for life just because you called me your girlfriend.” 

John felt like his brain was short-circuiting- he opened and closed his mouth a few times and pointed at Sol, but he just couldn’t get words to come out. “But...I thought…” 

“I have to _want_ to be mated to you, silly,” Sol said teasingly, walking over and placing a kiss on his cheek before twitching her mandibles with amusement. “Trust me, I think you’re safe.”

“So,” John said slowly, his eyes trailing across her face as she pressed her head to his, “what would I have to do in order to make you want to mate with me?” 

Sol stepped back, resting her chin on her hand and looking him over- as he squirmed under her gaze, John realized that he hadn’t felt this stupid since he was a kid, and he was sure his face had to be on fire. “Hmmm,” she remarked, tapping a talon against her mandible, “didn’t you just say the galaxy wouldn’t wait for your girlfriend to be done with you?” He started to say something else, but Sol gently guided him to the door, laughing the entire time. “We can talk about it over dinner, Johnny.” 

As she guided him out the door, his brain finally began working again- before she could close the door, he leaned over and kissed her, getting a little of his own back when he felt her purring against him. “Promise?” 

“Go away,” she said teasingly, stepping back and closing the door. “You’ve got work to do, remember?” 

_ _

* * *

“Glad to see you finally made it down here,” Garrus said drolly as he rested against the elevator, rolling his eyes at John. “I thought we were going to have to replace you with Alenko for a second there.” 

“Trust me, you don’t want to do that,” John said darkly. “I might be mad at you, but you’re still family, Vakarian- unlike _some_ people, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Garrus frowned, hearing the hidden meaning in the man’s words. “What do you know, John?”

“Maybe something, maybe nothing,” he replied, watching as Alenko and Jenkins walked through the mess hall. “But if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer to be the one watching your back.” 

He looked up and saw his mate coming toward them, a sleepy look on her face as she clutched her cup of coffee like it was a lifeline. “We can talk about this later,” he said quietly, smiling brightly at Jane. “Maybe you can see what you can dig up before we do?” 

John nodded, then let out a loud yawn. “Um, you got enough in that mug for two, sis?” He tried to swipe it from her, but she yanked it away and growled. “Guess that’s a no, then.” 

“You’re lucky you still have a hand,” Garrus joked, kissing his wife on the top of her head and laughing at her snort of acknowledgment. “You know your sister barely knows words when she doesn’t have coffee in her system.” 

“Someone is usually nice and brings me a cup in the morning,” she said pointedly, making John snicker as he made his way off to the coffee machine, giving the lieutenant and his friend a polite greeting. “Why no coffee?” Jane asked, waving her cup at him. “Are you mad at me?” 

“I had to talk to mom,” he replied, knowing that the mention of the woman would mollify her. “I wanted to do it when I knew dad was going to be out of the house, but I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

“Hrmph,” she replied, leaning against him. “I guess.” She looked around the mess hall for a moment, then frowned. “Where’s Wrex?”

“Downstairs in the cargo bay choosing the biggest gun he could find,” Garrus replied as John grabbed a handful of protein bars and shoved them in his pockets. “He’s been chomping at the bit ever since Joker announced we entered this planet’s airspace- I had to stop him from storming into the room to wake you up.” 

Jane sighed. “This is really important to him, huh?”

Garrus nodded. “To him, it’s a symbol of honor- it represents his clan’s strength… and my people’s ignorance.” He sighed, lightly stroking his mandible as they all made their way to the cargo bay. “Even though I wasn’t involved, I hope we can get this back for him- he’s a decent guy... for a krogan mercenary.”

Jane grinned, looking decidedly more awake and like she was ready to cause a plethora of mischief. “Admit it… you like Wrex.” 

Garrus rolled his eyes, trying to ignore his mate's teasing. “No, I _tolerate_ him… there’s a difference.” 

“You _like_ him,” she wheedled, poking him in the side and squealing as he lightly nipped her neck- John rolled his eyes. “I saw you two talking the other day while you were working on the Mako.” 

“And whose fault is that... hmmm?” Garrus raised a brow-plate at his grinning wife. “I wouldn’t be down here with the Mako so much if you didn’t drive like a maniac, Jane.”

“I drive just fine, thank you,” Jane replied, ignoring the coughing fit from her brother behind them. “You guys are just sensitive, that's all.”

“No, we’re just partial to _living_ ,” John mumbled, earning a punch in the shoulder from Jane and an amused rumble from Garrus. “I swear, I’ve never been happier to be on foot in my life.” 

“Remind me to make you sit up front the next time we go out,” Jane replied sweetly, patting her brother on the cheek. “I think you need a front-row seat, dear brother.”

“For my death? No thanks- Vakarian has that covered,” he said, dashing out of the way and waving to the krogan. “Yo, you ready to get this party started, Battle Turtle?” 

“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood, whelp,” Wrex replied, muffing John and tousling his hair. “Otherwise I might just say fuck it and eat you.” 

_ _

* * *

Sol tapped the quarian on the shoulder as she sat in the mess hall, grinning from ear to ear. It had been a minute since she'd had the chance to talk to Tali, and she was happy to see her friend. “Hey, want some lunch?” 

Tali turned her head toward Sol and laughed. “You don’t always have to feed me, Sol- I’m fine.” 

“You make it sound like I’m trying to fatten you up,” Sol said teasingly, poking her friend in the shoulder as she grabbed some food. “Fine- be that way. See if I feed you the next time Nihlus tries to sell you on the merits of dextro paste.” 

“Keelah, _no_ \- that stuff is horrid!” Tali retorted, shuddering and happily taking the cup Sol offered her. “Sometimes I wonder about the state of his taste receptors- that turian can eat almost anything!” 

“Maybe we should test that out,” a voice said from behind them. The two women turned around and saw the pilot limping toward them, a teasing smirk on his face. “I’m always down to see a good show.”

Sol just watched as the pilot made his way to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water and something to eat. Granted, she knew he was close with Janey and John, and lately even Garrus had been spending more time in the cockpit with the man, but she had yet to really speak to him. Wanting to be nice, Sol just smiled, gesturing to the seat next to her. “Aren’t we all, Mr. Moreau.” 

The pilot made a face. “I think we can safely go a lifetime with you not calling me that again, Little V- Joker will do just fine.”

“Little V?” Sol glanced over at Tali, then cocked her head at him. “That’s a new one.” 

“My newest creation,” he replied, letting out a horribly fake evil laugh as he rubbed his hands together. When the girls just stared at him, he rolled his eyes. “Ugh- everyone’s a critic.” 

“I think it fits,” Tali said helpfully, patting him on the shoulder- though he didn’t say anything, Sol noticed him flinch and frowned- _does he not like aliens?_ “We could all stand to have a bit more levity around here.” 

“I dunno,” Joker replied, staring pointedly at Sol. “Between Little V and BB, I think we’ve got entertainment for days, don’t you?” 

When Tali didn’t say anything, Sol let out a sigh, her mandibles twitching with annoyance. “He means _Ashley_ ,” she said dejectedly, glaring at the pilot. Instead of looking contrite, the man just grinned. “Spirits _above_ , is anyone going to let that go?” 

“Nope,” he replied, taking a bite of his rations. “You, my friend, have done what Janey and I have been dying to do for years, so you’re just going to have to deal with us heaping our praise upon you for a little while longer.” 

Tali snorted. “I find it hard to believe that Commander Shepard and that… _woman_ … have not come to blows before.” 

Joker made a noncommittal gesture with his hands. “I guess that just depends on how you want to define blows,” he replied thoughtfully. “They’ve been at each other’s throats since the day they met, and I don’t blame Janey one bit.” 

“But you’re Johnny’s friend,” Sol said curiously. “Why are you on Jane’s side?”

“I’m not on _anyone’s_ side,” Joker said pointedly. “I’m a realist- Ash has always been… _protective_ of John. Like, if John wanted to grab a beer or something with us, she’d have to come to police him and make sure he didn’t get into trouble. If he got frustrated by something, she’d take care of it so he wouldn’t have to.” He shook his head as he angrily ate the rest of his ration bar. “It was almost as if she was going to make damn sure he was the perfect person, whether he wanted to be or not.” He took a swig of his water, then shook his head. “I’ve known Johnny a lot longer than almost anyone except Janey- he is many things, but perfect, that boy ain’t.”

“I know,” Sol said quietly, absentmindedly stirring her now-chilled soup. “I don’t think he’d be Johnny if he was.” She smiled at the people at the table, but Sol was lost in her own head. “I like that he can’t cook, but tries so hard anyway because he wants everyone to sit down to dinner together, and I like that fact that even though he thinks he can, that man _cannot_ dance- it’s practically a crime to put him on the dance floor,” Sol said with a chuckle, bringing her hand to her face. Then she cocked her head to Joker, who was smiling at her. “Has he always been that way?” 

“Oh yeah,” he agreed. “Ever since I’ve known him, Johnny Boy has had two left feet- hell, my _bones_ barely work and I can dance better than him.” 

Tali shifted in her seat, and Sol could tell she was staring at the pilot. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s wrong with your bones?” Even though Sol was curious, she was glad Tali had asked- the quarian had no social filter and she usually had no qualms asking exactly what she wanted to know. “Would wearing a suit help? I’d be happy to help you design one if it would.”

Joker laughed, taking off his cap for a moment and running his hand over his hair before putting it back on his head. “Not unless it’s made out of foam and cotton balls,” he said lightly, shifting in his seat. “I’ve got super brittle bones with a really smart mouth- not the greatest combination.” He flashed Sol a bright smile, then sipped his water. “Going out with Johnny and Janey has saved my bacon more than once.” 

“And almost gotten it cooked a few times too,” a soft voice said from the doorway. “You relied way too much on those two, Joker.” 

“BB,” he said flatly, crossing his arms. “To what do I owe the displeasure?” 

Ash rolled her eyes and leaned against the doorframe. “If I were looking for you, I would’ve checked the cockpit or the septic tank- since I’m somewhere respectable, you can pretty much fuck off, Moreau.” 

Bristling at the woman’s presence, Sol stood up and tapped Tali on the shoulder. “Let’s go take JC to see Adams,” she said, trying to keep her tone light. “He asked about him the other day, right?” Then she turned to the pilot, giving the man a genuine smile. “Do you like cats, Joker?” 

He shrugged. “They’re all right- my sister had one when we were growing up.” He raised an eyebrow, then his eyes went wide. “That little grey monster Johnny’s been walking around is _yours?_ ” 

Sol nodded proudly. “We taught him how to walk on a leash so he could go outside with us and not run away- JC is a very good boy.” 

“That’s kind of cool,” Ash said shyly, causing everyone to look at her. “All the cats I knew would just look at you stupid if you tried to get them to do anything.”

“That’s because they know you’re the fucking devil,” Joker muttered, earning him a snort from Tali. “ _Look_ ,” he said irritably, “everyone here was having a grand old time before you showed up, BB.” He gave Sol a sly look, causing her to roll her eyes. “Since you seem to turn every place you go into a barroom brawl, the man that’s made of glass is going to get the fuck away from you.” Shakily, he got to his feet, then tipped his hat at Sol and Tali. “Ladies, it’s been an absolute _pleasure_ ,” he drawled with exaggerated politeness before turning to Ash for a moment, then returning his attention back to Sol. “A real pleasure, Sol.” 

He walked out the mess hall, making sure to give Ash a wide berth. Tali, obviously unsure about what to do at the moment, placed a hand on Sol’s arm. “Yeah… let’s go get JC,” she said nervously. “It’s a good time- Adams shouldn’t be all that busy right now-”

“Sol, can I talk to you?” Ash interrupted, causing Sol to snap her mandibles to her face with shock. Eyes wide, she turned to the woman, who was twiddling her fingers together as she looked at the floor. “I promise, no fighting.” 

From the speakers above their heads, Joker’s voice rolled over the room. “Sol, I’m watching you guys- be sure to not throw the first punch this time or Janey might lose her shit.” 

Tali crossed her arms, her attention focused on the woman in the doorway. “I can stay too.” 

Sol sighed- she knew they meant well, but this was only serving to make things worse. “We can talk in my room, Ash,” she said wearily. “You can meet JC.” 

Glancing back and forth between the two women, Tali gave a soft huff as she placed a hand on Sol’s shoulder. “Message me if you need me,” she whispered loudly, then turned to Ash and pointed a finger at her furiously. “And if you hurt JC, I will _personally_ break your face,” she hissed, turning on her heel and leaving the room with a huff.

Shaking her head, Sol glanced up at the ceiling. “I appreciate the assistance, but Joker, please don’t spy on my room, ok?” 

“All right,” he said warily. “But you know how to reach me if you need me- I’m happy to send backup at a moment’s notice.”

She closed her eyes, trying to stifle her laughter. “I appreciate it,” she said kindly, then turned to Ash. “We can leave now if you like.”

“Yeah,” she said brusquely, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Thanks.”

The two of them walked in silence until they got to Sol’s room and she opened the door, picking up the tiny grey kitten as it wound itself around her ankles. “This is JC,” she said, picking up the kitten and holding him in front of her, watching the woman’s eyes light up for a moment before dulling and shoving her hands in her pockets. “You can hold him,” Sol said softly, taking a careful step towards her, “he likes snuggling in my cowl, but he often headbutts humans in the chin- just be aware of his talons.” 

Slowly, Ash took the kitten from Sol- just as he always did, JC went straight for her face, nuzzling his whiskers across her cheek. Instantly, Ash let out a gasp, then turned to look at Sol. “He’s adorable,” she whispered, closing her eyes and rubbing her face against the purring kitten. “How long have you had him?”

Recognizing that this was the first civil conversation that she’d ever had with the woman, Sol smiled and sat on the bed. “A few weeks now,” she admitted. “He was the brightest one of the kittens at the store- I admired his fearlessness, so I took him home.” 

Ash nodded, glancing down at the kitten again and letting him try to eat her finger. She was quiet for a few moments, but Sol wasn’t rushing her. Her dad had often told her that silence was a detective’s best tool, so she let the room settle around them, letting the only sounds come from the contented kitten in the woman’s lap. Finally, Ash sighed then looked up at Sol, her expression curious. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Sol shrugged. “What do I have to gain by being mean to you?”

Ash winced as she looked down, lightly stroking JC’s fur. “Look, I’m sorry for how I acted,” she said morosely. “I’ve been a bitch to you, and you didn’t deserve that.”

The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop herself. “From the stories I’m hearing, it sounds like you’ve been that way with everyone.” Instantly, Sol let out a squeak, then clamped her hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she said frantically, “ _please_ don’t hurt my cat!” 

The look on the soldier’s face was one of pure horror. “ _What?_ Do you really think I would-” she glanced down at the kitten, hugging it gently. “I’m not a monster,” she whispered, burying her face in his fur to hide her face. “Even though everyone thinks I am.” 

Sol sighed, cocking her head to the side and letting out a sad little hum. Though the woman had her head down, she could see tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. “I don’t think you’re a monster,” Sol said quietly, getting the box of tissues Liara had left in her room after an impromptu movie night and handing them to Ash. “I think you can be mean, and I think you’re angry, but I don’t think you’re a monster.” 

“You, Liara, and Kryik are probably the only ones on this ship that feel that way,” she said bitterly, taking a piece of tissue and turning away to wipe her eyes. “What does that say about me that the only ones on this ship that have been even remotely nice to me are aliens?” 

Ignoring the xenophobic undercurrent of her statement, Sol sighed and settled back on the bed. To no one's surprise, JC was purring furiously, headbutting the woman under her chin in an attempt to get her to resume petting him. “It just means we’re a little more willing to look past certain things,” she said matter-of-factly. “Normally, Gar would be like that too, but you kind of put a stop to that when you said something bad about Janey- turians don’t take too kindly to those who threaten their mates.” 

“So I noticed,” she said, her voice somewhat wavery. “Is that why you tried to eat me back there?”

Sol rolled her eyes. “I do not _eat_ people,” she said hotly. “But you were hurting Johnny, and I couldn’t let you do that to him- he’s my best friend.” She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes, working to calm herself down. “I’m not going to let _anyone_ hurt him if I can help it.” 

Ash sighed, then resumed petting the cat. “Best friend, huh?” She chuffed softly, shaking her head. “I was almost married to the man and I don’t think he once called me that.” The soldier looked up at her, her eyes sad and hard. “What makes _you_ so special?” Sol looked at her sharply for a moment, but Ash just sighed, running a hand over her hair. “I don’t mean that in a bad way this time,” she said apologetically. “I’m honestly curious- he… he never looked at me the way he looks at you,” she admitted. “I just… I don’t know what I did wrong.” 

Sol thought about it for a moment, then folded her hands- tact wasn’t her strong suit on a good day, but since the woman was being civil, she decided to try. “I don’t think it was you,” she said carefully, tapping her foot against the floor. “I think… maybe you just didn’t really know him.” She glanced over at Ash, hoping she wasn’t going to cause her to have a fit at any moment. “He thought he had to be perfect for you, but that’s not Johnny,” Sol said quietly. “He’s a shameless flirt, and he’s loud, pushy, and irritating- and that’s not even getting into the fact that he’s got an ego so large I’m surprised the ship can hold it all.” 

The woman across from her gave a soft snort, shaking her head. “Accurate,” she said softly, glancing up at Sol. “But he’s always been like that.” 

“But I don’t want to change it,” she said quietly, staring at Ashley, who didn’t reply- instead, she just stared at the floor. “I like these things about him, because when he shows me the other stuff, I know he means it,” Sol said. “And he knows he doesn’t have to change for me- it's why he’s my best friend… and _that’s_ why I’m always going to look out for him.”

“Are you-” Ash started to say something but decided against it, looking down at the cat in her lap instead. When the soldier finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper- if Sol wasn’t turian, she would have barely been able to make out the words. “Is he happy?” 

Sol sighed, letting out a deep rumble as she folded her hands in her lap. “I hope so,” she said softly, tapping her foot and letting the quiet settle around them again. “Because that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him.” 


	28. Parental Guidance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana and Yeloris have a chat; Anderson checks in with Jane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to @rosebud1773 for allowing Nana to come play for a little while!

_ _

* * *

Natearus T’Loak was settling down in her overstuffed chair, glancing around the sparsely furnished apartment. “Tired, that’s what this is. So much junk to move- no wonder I travel light,” Nana grumbled, looking around at the small stacks of crates. “Ah well- taking a nap in this threadbare monstrosity sounds ideal... Feels good to sit down.” Nana mumbled to herself as she licked her lips and snuggled in the chair- it was ugly as sin, but at least it was comfortable.

Just as she was dozing off, the soft notifications of a call coming through jostled her awake. “Natearus,” Yeloris said, her expression calm and composed as her face appeared on the screen, “how are you? I haven’t heard from you in awhile…” 

”Well… I guess that’s because I was moving, girl. Omega is a cesspool, but..." Nana sighed in irritation. "It’s home for now.”

“Ah...leave it to you to make the inhospitable hospitable,” Yeloris replied with a laugh, taking a sip from the cup at her side. “I wasn’t trying to disturb you… I was just calling to see if you'd heard what our chicks have been up to.” 

Nana rolled her eyes and watched for changes in the turian’s expression, but Yeloris's face was unreadable. “Do tell, girl- what have they done now? There’s always trouble with that lot. _Goddess_ … those Shepard twins…” 

“Funny you should ask,” Yeloris replied, a faint glint evident in her eyes. “Seems that my children have decided that Jane’s mission was the appropriate place to run off to… did you know anything about that?”

“They’ve done… _what?"_ The asari stared at the screen, eyes narrowing dangerously. “You’re _sure_ they took off on that monstrosity that young man Anderson was going on about?” 

“Oh yes, quite sure,” Yeloris replied, grinning at the asari’s growing discomfort. “I got a call from them the other day… also, turns out that your boy is getting back into the swing of things out there.” Then her eyes darkened, casting a shadow over her formerly smiling face. “He also happened to share with me a few things about their old foster family… you wouldn’t happen to have been involved with that, would you?” 

Nana’s eyes widened a fraction and she ran a hand across her damnably twitching scalp tentacle. “You know better than that, girl. I know how that horrible woman treated him. It was an unspeakable thing she did to that boy- he’s had nightmares as long as I’ve known him over that incident.” The tentacle finally stopped twitching and she continued. “But you say he’s ‘back out there’? So he’s training again?”

“Not just training,” Yeloris said mildly. “Working with that Jane and that spectre- poor John seems determined to be in the thick of it.” She laughed, shaking her head. “No wonder he and Garrus get along so well.”

Nana frowned, scratching lightly at one of her scalp tentacles, “I can understand your boy joining them, but not Solana. Why… by the _goddess_ , would she even consider hopping on a ship and galavanting around the galaxy?”

“When in doubt, the answer usually comes back around to their father,” Yeloris said with a sigh, lightly stroking her fringe. For a moment, her eyes looked tired and unfocused, then they snapped back to her old friend with clarity. “He’s been pushing for her to mate… the last ‘introduction’ did not go well, I’m afraid.” Then she got a small smirk across her face, grinning at the elder asari. “At least John was able to offer her a place to cool off… I suppose she just didn’t want to come home.” 

“I _still_ say I should have flayed your mate’s plates clean off his hide years ago. Castis… _goddess_ … that boy never knew when to leave well enough alone. I can’t imagine your girl would want to be anywhere near him if he’s pushing her so hard.” Nana growled and rubbed a hand over her face. “You say John gave her a place to stay? I’m not at all pleased with that idea- that boy doesn’t know how to keep his… _extra bits_ … to himself.”

Yeloris just shrugged, then looked down at her hands. “He’s a better match than some of the idiots Castis has found… now, if he’d just get his head on straight and look at what’s in front of him, he’d be much better off.” 

“His head on straight… _ha!_ Therum will freeze first. But," Nana said thoughtfully, "Solana might be a better match for him than that flea-bitten harpy he was seeing not long ago- at least she’s not as vicious or overbearing.” The mere mention of the lava world made her friend roll her eyes and Nana chuckled- reminding Yeloris of the place never failed to crawl under the turian's plates. “Well, maybe it’s for the best- I just hope this isn’t another of his ‘itches’ he’s looking to scratch. Boy really should see the ship’s doctor over that…. _Way_ too much dipping in that little viper he was seeing.” 

“Out of curiosity,” Yeloris said casually, “just how close were they? John mentioned it in passing, but I get the sense there’s a little more there.” 

Nana ran a hand over that twitchy tentacle and huffed an irritated sigh at the question. “Dammit, girl, tell me we’re not begging for trouble here- those two mismatched varrens were engaged, or so he claims. I find it hard to believe he was thinking with anything above the waist with that.”

“Oh, dear.” Yeloris frowned for a moment, then gently stroking her mandible. “That could prove to be a problem.” 

“That _girl_ is trouble…” The asari gave Yeloris a hard look then as a thought occurred to her. “Tell me Ashley Williams is _not_ on that ship- Janey calls her ‘bitchy barbie’ for a reason, you know.”

Yeloris gave a slightly apologetic sounding hum. “It appears so… and it seems that Sol is not that fond of her, from what I can gather.” She laughed softly, then glanced up at the asari. “I’m curious… just how much trouble would my daughter get into if she finds herself… _unable_ to keep her temper in check?”

“Well, dear, your Sol isn’t Alliance… at least there’s that, but... Williams is." Yeloris got a concerned look on her face, but Nana held up a hand. "I wouldn’t worry about that though- Williams was never one to pursue the legal side of things. Always ran her mouth and swung her fists.” Nana shook her head, closing her eyes in thought for a minute. She glanced back up at the turian woman, giving her a critical look. “You called for a reason, girl. Spill it.”

“To the point as always, I see.” Yeloris smiled, then glanced around the room for a moment before settling back in her chair. “It seems that Sol and the girl got into an altercation the other day… I think my daughter might be a bit smitten with your boy, Natearus.”

Groaning, Nana just shook her head. “By the _goddess…_ no female of breeding age is safe around that boy. Next… he’ll try to bed a hanar.”

Yeloris let out a deep, throaty chuckle. “I think Sol might take offense to that, dear.” 

The elder asari sobered and locked eyes with Yeloris. “Oh… this is not good at all, child. You know your girl, and you know she’ll bed him if she feels threatened by that Williams girl.”

“I don’t think she has to bed him to feel threatened," Yeloris replied casually. "It seems that the two girls got into a scuffle already. It seems that Williams girl dislocated his arm… apparently she took offense to Sol scenting John the other day.” 

“Sol scent marked him _and_ Williams dislocated John’s shoulder?" Nana shook her head in dismay. "By the Goddess, this just gets better and better, doesn’t it?”

“It appears that this ship is not lacking in entertainment, that’s for certain.” Yeloris reached over to her right and picked up a cup, taking a sip of the steaming beverage. “Truth be told, I think she wants to mate with him… poor thing is just scared about it.” 

“Entertaining to a krogan... maybe… And what’s to be scared of? A male is a male, no matter his species.” Nana grumbled, then looked her friend in the eyes. “Your girl has… what is it your people call it…. ‘ _Blown off steam_ ’… before, right? Surely to the goddess, that isn’t what’s got her in such a twist...”

Yeloris made a tutting sound as she shook her head. “Sol was never all that interested in it… and I don’t think that’s what she wants here.” The turian sighed, folding her hands together. “I suppose she’s just scared about what her father will think… and truth be told, so am I.” 

“Hmmm… a virgin then… and smitten with a male of another species at that.” Nana sighed with a faint smile, trying not to chuckle at the thought. “Alright… nothing a few toys and an education can’t fix.”

“ _Natearus!_ Be serious for once, you filthy old bat!” Yeloris scowled at her for a moment, then broke out into a grin before letting out a deep sigh. “Unfortunately, Castis is already… less than pleased with Garrus, and I’m _not_ looking forward to telling him that not only are both his kids are on a ship, but that his only daughter is preparing to mate with the young man he’s decidedly not too fond of- suggestions would be appreciated, darling.”

“Filthy old bat, is it?” Nana chuckled. “Well now, dear girl… I didn’t hear you complaining when I… _instructed_ … you in the finer points of pleasing your mate.” 

“We aren’t referring to me at this point,” Yeloris replied with a haughty little sniff- Nana just chuckled. “I’m seeking your counsel, woman.”

“Then out with it, girl. What counsel are you seeking?” Nana growled and pointedly stuck her tongue out at the turian. “You need to be specific with this old ass asari.” 

“So I do.” The turian gave a light laugh, shaking her head at her old friend. “Natearus, what can I do for my kids? How do I keep my mate from losing his mind over this whole thing?” She sighed, then dipped her head. “I just want them to be happy… they both deserve that much.” 

“Well... “ Nana sighed thoughtfully, tapping her lower lip with a finger. “You could book a cruise of the planets… and toss him out an airlock.”

Yeloris rolled her eyes. “ _Helpful_ ideas,” she said pointedly. “I’m sure you’re familiar with those.”

“Oh.. haha… very funny, girl. Of _course_ I’m familiar with helpful… and _sensible_ ideas, but that mate of yours is difficult at best.” Nana rolled her eyes, irritation showing on her face. “You know as well as I do, he’s not gonna accept both of his children mated to genetically incompatible people, but… there _are_ options available.”

“My children will be free to do as they wish,” Yeloris said harshly. “If I was given that freedom, then they should have the same.”

“Well, dear, it seems you have some trouble in your talons. The cloaca named Castis you’re bonded to... seems like he's already taking a great big shit on Sol's parade by trying to force her into mating.” Nana hummed and shook her head. “Tell him his daughter isn’t a broodmare, and if he doesn’t like that… have him come see me.” She let out a cackle at that. “I’ll gladly take him down a few notches.”

“He’s a good mate, but sometimes he can just be so… _rigid_ ,” Yeloris said with a sigh. “I’m just afraid he’s going to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.”

“Well… I would say something about the use of the term ‘rigid’, but… that applies to all turians anyway.” Nana snickered, her mind sinking into the nearest sewer system before she caught herself. When she did, she cocked her head sideways at the turian woman on the screen. “You do know John is a biotic… strongest the Alliance has seen, in fact. You know your girl’s a biotic, Yeloris- if she mates with John, his biotics will double hers and any offspring she produces afterward will all be biotics, Cabal bound- best make that mate of yours aware of that.”

“But Sol doesn’t even know she _has_ biotics.” Yeloris frowned. “Would you be able to do anything about it?”

“It just means she’s a latent biotic, dear. Doesn’t matter if she’s aware of it or not, it will still happen… and when it does, she’ll become aware of it.” Nana huffed a faint laugh at the last question and shook her head. “I’m skilled, girl, but I’m not the goddess. I don’t hold sway over nature like that.”

“I suppose not.” She hung her head and let out a deep sigh. “Try as I might, it seems there is nothing I can do except offer my love and support.” 

“That’s the only thing a parent can ever do- anything more and your brats see you as a tyrant. Less… well, you end up with Aria.” Yeloris gave a soft chuckle and Nana sighed. “So.. my best advice? Keep Castis out of the loop, for the moment, at least- when the time comes, some kind of compromise can be reached.” Nana paused, a devilish grin spreading across her face. “Or if you like, I could just flay his hide off along with his plates.”

“Your fascination with the removal of our plates always makes me question why we've remained friends this long,” Yeloris remarked wryly. “I’m noticing a bit of a fixation from you.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that, dear- I’ve never actually peeled a turian’s plates, doubt I ever will. It’s more… a scare tactic meant for that mate of yours. _He_ doesn’t know I won’t flay him,” Nana snarked evilly. “What he doesn’t know keeps him in line around me.”   


_ _

* * *

When the vid call came through, Jane couldn’t help beaming with happiness at the sight of the man on the screen. “Uncle David,” she said brightly, “how’s it going over there?” 

“Quite interesting,” he replied, his dark eyes glinting with amusement. “ _Especially_ since you decided to take your brother and husband with you.” Jane grinned and he looked at her reproachfully. “Remind me why you couldn’t have reminded Garrus to talk to his father before he left?” 

Jane winced, wondering just what had prompted that question. “Oh… it must’ve slipped his mind- we told Yeloris.” She gave the man what she hoped was an innocent look, folding her hands as she settled back in the chair. “Why? Did something happen?” 

Anderson, however, wasn’t fooled. “ _Somehow_ , the records of their new assignment seem to have been sealed… Castis wasn’t too pleased about that fact, and especially not when he heard it was requested by a Spectre.” 

A groan escaped from Jane’s throat. “And why do you know about this, Uncle David?”

“Funny you should ask,” he said, leaning forward and staring at her. “You see, I was the proud recipient of a visit from a certain furious turian when he discovered that I was listed as one of John’s emergency contacts.” She grimaced and Anderson nodded, his expression grim. “Also, he made a point to tell me that he filed a missing person’s report for a Solana Vakarian? Says she was last seen with Johnny?” 

Jane groaned, placing her head in her hands. “Fuck me sideways, I _hate_ that man, Uncle David.”

“Can’t hate your father in law,” he said pointedly. “Be honest, Jane- is that girl with you?” 

“If I said _no_ ,” Jane replied carefully, twisting a stray curl around her fingers and trying to figure out a way to maneuver the situation, “would that help or hurt right now?” 

Anderson hung his head. “You two certainly know how to make my life complicated, don’t you?” She looked down apologetically, and the older man ran his hands over his head. “Janey,” he said warningly, “whatever you’re thinking of doing, _don’t_. You can’t go snooping in those files.”

“Why not?” Jane asked, already trying to think about how she could alter the documents. “It would be easy, all I’d have to do is…” 

“It’s bait, Jane,” Anderson said pointedly. “He told me for a reason- he wants it to get back to John and he knows you’re a spectre, Jane. I’d bet money he’s got someone monitoring that file- first sign of unauthorized activity, it’s on you.” 

Jane tapped on the desk irritably. Like it or not, Anderson was right- she had to let it stand. “We’re at a check-mate,” she grumbled. “Castis is a high-profile pain in the ass- John won’t be able to step foot on the Citadel without a swarm of turian detectives tossing him to the ground, and if Sol calls him now, he’s going to know she’s with us no matter what she says.” She hung her head on the console, letting out a tiny scream of frustration. “Fuck me sideways, I do _not_ need this right now!” 

“Calm down, Janey,” Anderson replied with a chuckle. “Now that you know what’s going on, I’m sure you can think of something… _Eliza_.” 

At the sound of her alias, Jane’s ears pricked up- Anderson was never one to mention things without a reason. Curious, she raised her head and stared at him. “You think that’ll work?” 

“Best shot you have to get that girl back on the Citadel without your brother going through a heap of red tape.” He shrugged, then looked nonchalantly at his paperwork. “Just thought you might want to know. Also, I've heard rumblings of odd activity on a planet called Feros- you guys might want to look into it and see if it's connected with all this mess you're involved in.”

She nodded, then twiddled her hands. “ _Well_ ,” Jane said carefully, “since we’re sharing, I have good news and bad news- figured you might want to hear it from me.”

Anderson eyed her warily, instantly put on alert by her polite tone. “I’m listening.” 

“On the positive side,” she said quickly, “I found the outposts for the geth that Hackett told me about- they've all been destroyed and I even have data to send back- should be useful, right?” 

“That _is_ good news,” he said cautiously, folding his hands. “And if you led with that, I’m scared about the bad news- Jane, what did you do?” 

She twiddled her fingers, then grimaced. “I _may_ or may not have let Johnny level a pirate base because he stole my krogan’s family armor,” she said quickly. “But on the bright side, we got back what the pirate stole first, so that’s good news, right?”

Anderson just stared at her blankly, then put his head in his hands. “Jane, _why_ are you like this? Did I do something wrong? Did you need more hugs?”

“I just believe in keeping my crew happy,” she replied, beaming at the older man. “You taught me that, Uncle David.” 

“So I did,” he replied, shaking his head. “So I did.”


	29. Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus finds Ashley in the cargo bay; Jane has news for Garrus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to me! Getting to spend time with this crew is a pretty decent consolation prize for a stay-at-home birthday, right?

_ _

* * *

Nihlus was resting in bed, examining the coordinates from the matriarch for the umpteenth time when someone approached his room. Confused as to who would be looking for him at this time of night, he put down his datapad and lifted his eyes to the door. “Enter.”

“You need to get your hellspawn,” Garrus said flatly, crossing his arms and ignoring the naked turian in front of him as he stood in the doorway. “I’m ready to kill her, but I thought you might want to talk to her first.” 

Nihlus frowned, not even hiding the irritated rumble. “Who is she arguing with now?” 

“No one,” Garrus replied, letting out a frustrated sigh of his own. “But she’s punching things in the cargo bay- Wrex finds it funny for now, but if she finishes destroying her locker and moves on to his, I’m willing to bet his opinion will change.” 

The spectre put his head in his hands. “How long has this been going on?” 

“About an hour,” Garrus replied. “I’d hoped she’d either get tired or break her hand, but she appears to be quite dedicated to irritating the shit out of me.” He glanced down at his omni-tool, then frowned. “And now Jane is looking for me, so I’ll leave you to it. But just so you know, if she punches the Mako, I’m letting my wife kill her- I’ve spent way too long fixing that thing.”

“Is one more dent really going to make that much more difference when Jane gets behind the wheel of that thing again,” Nihlus asked, teasing the younger turian. “I’m willing to bet you won’t be able to tell it’s there after your mate brings it back in a rattling heap.” 

Garrus rolled his eyes, but his sub-vocals made it clear that he wasn’t offended. “We’re trying to stave that off, not accelerate it.” When Nihlus chuckled, Garrus relaxed a little. “She’s going to hurt herself,” he said quietly. “I can smell that she’s got cuts on her hand, but she’s not showing any signs of stopping.” 

Nihlus sighed as he got up from the bed, throwing on a casual shirt and pants- while Garrus wasn’t offended by his state of undress, the humans on board might be. “I’ll go see what’s going on,” he replied, nodding at Garrus as he left the room. _It’s been quiet all day,_ he thought as he made his way downstairs. _What’s set her off now?_

When he got downstairs, he could hear the sound of metal being struck- he rolled his eyes. _Well, he wasn’t exaggerating_ , Nihlus thought mildly, settling back and watching Williams pound furiously at the locker. She was clad in a black tank top and a pair of sweatpants, her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. _She reminds me of Jane_ , he thought with amusement as he cleared his throat, startling the woman before she could land another blow. “Is there a reason you’re hell-bent on punishing that locker, Williams?”

“Shit!” Ashley jumped about a foot in the air, wiping the sweaty hairs out of her face. Even from here, Nihlus could see the scratches and welts blooming around her knuckles, and the metallic scent of her blood was hanging in the air. “What- what are you doing here?”

“I was called to put an end to your wanton property destruction,” he said casually. “Come here.” When she balked, Nihlus crossed his arms and stared at her. “That wasn’t a suggestion,” he said firmly. “Come here, Williams.”

Swallowing, Ash did what she was told, nervously walking toward him. Noticing her trepidation, Nihlus sighed. “I’m not going to hit you,” he said irritably, taking her hands and looking them over. “Follow me.” 

For once, she stayed silent, holding her bloody hands and trailing behind him as he grabbed a tube of medi-gel and some bandages from a nearby first-aid station. “I needed to get away from everyone,” she said quietly as he led her up to her room, sitting her on the bed and quietly tending to her hand. “It was too quiet… and I didn’t want to disturb anyone.” 

Intrigued at the rare show of consideration, Nihlus just nodded. “Understandable,” he said after a moment, wrapping the bandage around her knuckle. “But what seems to have gotten under your plates enough to make you want to slice up your hide, Williams?”

“I don’t have plates,” she said pointedly, flexing her fingers- the medi-gel was probably working already. “And I figured if I was angry, I needed to go take it out on something that wouldn’t get my CO punched in the face for it.” She sighed, then looked down at the floor. “I feel shitty about that,” Ashley said quietly, twisting a piece of hair around her fingers. “No one’s done anything like that for me before, and let’s be honest, I damn sure don’t deserve it.”

Not wanting to confirm or deny her statement, Nihlus just sighed as he settled in the tiny chair across from her. “You still haven’t answered my question,” he said politely. “What’s bothering you?”

“I want to _hate_ her,” she said bitterly, folding her arms. “I want to punch her stupid little face and break her goddamn pointy things,” she huffed, causing Kryik to raise his brow-plates. “But I _can’t_ … she’s too fucking _nice_ \- why the fuck did she actually have to be _nice!_ ”

“I assume we’re talking about Solana Vakarian,” he said gently, waiting to see her response. Sure enough, Ashley gave a miserable little nod. “Why is Ms. Vakarian being a decent sort a problem, Williams?” 

“Because she’s _better_ than me!” Ashley howled, swiping the covers off her bunk in frustration. “I kept hoping she was going to get nasty or be all smug about her and Johnny, but she wasn’t! She’s all _‘I just want the best for him’_ and _‘I love him for who he is’_!” She threw her head in her hands and groaned. “God, even when I’m _saying_ it, it sounds stupid.” 

Nihlus sighed again. “So, you went looking for a fight with her… but when you couldn’t provoke her into one, what did you do?” 

“We talked,” she said bitterly. “And she let me play with her cat.” When Nihlus stared at her with confusion, Ashley let out a sigh of her own. “She has a kitten,” she said wearily, running her hands over her hair. “She let me hold him… even though she was scared I might hurt it- she trusted me enough to hold something she cared about, even though I’ve been a bitch to her!”

“Well, that was stupid of her,” Nihlus said simply, causing Ash to jerk her head up in shock- the turian stared back unflinchingly. “According to your logic, if it was reversed, she should have been willing to do anything to harm you, and she gave you the perfect opportunity to destroy what matters to her.” Ash made a strangled sort of noise as she put her hand to her mouth, but Nihlus wasn’t done. “And yet… you didn’t take it- why? You said you wanted her to hate you- that would’ve done it for sure.” 

“Because I’m not _like_ that,” she croaked, her eyes wide with horror. “I _couldn’t_ … that would be…”

“And yet you dislocated John’s arm when he didn’t provoke you or pose a threat to your safety,” he said pointedly. He watched the soldier for a moment, letting the words sink in. “All the evidence would seem to say you are like that… but yet…” 

He got up from the chair and sat next to her on the bed, noting that the woman didn’t flinch or run away. “In this case, the evidence lies,” he said quietly, staring ahead as she looked at him. “A monster doesn’t have a conscience, but you do- you know what’s right… you just don’t always do it.” He turned to her, pleased with her stunned silence. “You’re making me prouder by the day, Williams.” 

Ashley just stared at him, her expression full of surprise and confusion. “I don’t understand,” she said slowly. “I thought you were going to yell at me for wrecking the lockers, not be-” she waved her hands around frantically, then let out a huff, “-like _this_! What gives, Kryik?” 

“You’re learning,” he said simply. “Why would I be mad at you for learning?” She stared at him with confusion, but he just laughed. “You’re frustrated, but you searched for an appropriate outlet for that anger instead of lashing out at others- granted, I wish you’d just asked me to spar with you or found a crewmember to have sex with, but I’ll take what I can get.”

The soldier went bright red, her mouth opening and closing without making a sound. “I... that’s against regs,” she said quietly, twisting her hands together. “Fraternization with the crew can get you drummed out, Kryik.”

“Oh, and breaking someone’s arm won’t?” When she flushed even more scarlet, Nihlus just sighed. “You humans and your hangups,” he said sharply, his mandibles fluttering with irritation. “I’d bet this whole vessel would run that much smoother if everyone took the chance to blow off steam now and again- you see how much easier Jane is to deal with-” 

Ash groaned, holding up a hand. “I don’t want to even _discuss_ those two having sex, thank you very much- personally, I don’t see how it’s even possible.” 

“I assure you, it’s possible,” he replied mildly, ignoring her gasp. “What? I don’t know why you’re so surprised- your species isn’t that much different from asari, Williams… you’re just... less blue.” 

She swallowed, staring at him as if he’d grown a second head. “You’re my CO,” she said slowly, looking over his face as if she were trying to see what he might do next. “You shouldn’t be talking to me about this, Kryik.” 

Nihlus cocked his head at her, not quite following her logic. “I don’t see why not,” he said simply. “You’re of legal age, and judging by your previous relationship with Shepard, you’ve clearly been intimate with others before- I fail to see why you humans have so many hangups about the subject.” 

Instead of calming down, she just continued to stare at him with shock- Nihlus sighed. “I wasn’t propositioning you, Williams,” he said tersely. “I’m merely pointing out that you need to find a way to release that tension. But, if you won’t go find someone to satisfy those urges, either take care of them yourself or come see me when you want to fight.” The turian smirked, taking note of her stiff posture. “I promise, I’m much better to spar with- unlike the locker, _I_ actually fight back.” 

“I… I can’t do that,” she said, shaking her head furiously. “I can’t fight with my commanding officer… it’s-” 

“So you humans can’t fuck and you also can’t fight- no wonder your species are such wrecks,” Nihlus said snidely as he got up from the bed, pressing his mandibles to the side of his face. “You’re under my command now, Williams, so I suggest you find some way to get that stress of yours under control because I promise our conversation won’t go so well the next time I hear about you doing something like this... _understand_?”

“Understood,” she said shakily, exhaling deeply as he left her alone in the room.  


_ _

* * *

Garrus walked into his room, only to find Jane sitting cross-legged on the bed and wearing nothing but one of his shirts. Laughing to himself, he took a moment to appreciate how flexible she was- he could never imagine his legs moving in such odd ways, but his mate always made it look like it was the simplest thing in the world. She’d long since shed her commander persona- her hair was falling over her shoulders as she absentmindedly bit her nail, her focus solely on the datapad in front of her. _Spirits, you’re beautiful,_ he thought as he stared at her, letting his sub-vocals hum with his love and devotion for the woman in front of him. _I love you, Jane._

Unable to keep his distance, Garrus strode over to Jane, lightly nuzzling his face into her neck. “So you call me up here to ignore me,” he purred, “And here I thought I was more interesting than that.”

“You’re always interesting,” she replied, running her fingers across his cowl as he sat down next to her, smiling when he pressed his lip plates to her neck. “In fact, I called you up here because you were so interesting, big guy.” 

“Is that so?” Garrus hummed contentedly as he took off his shirt, watching her face intently for a reaction. When she got a faraway look in her eyes, he hummed as he settled in the bed next to her, gently plucking the datapad from her hands. “Care to share what’s got my mate so distracted this evening?”

She sighed, scooting forward and resting against him- the citrusy scent of her hair wafted up and tickled his nose, making him hum with contentment. “That depends,” she said carefully. “Would you like the good news or the bad news first?”

Garrus frowned, then leaned over- her wide grey eyes were staring up at him as she gently traced the lines of his markings. “The bad news,” he said quickly, chuckling when he saw her scrunch up her nose. “What? You gave me a choice, Jane.” 

“You were supposed to pick the good news,” she pouted, tracing her finger along the ridges of his chest plates. “Way to make my job harder, you evil old armor cat.” 

“It’s not my fault you haven’t figured out that I’m a pessimist- expecting the worst allows you to always be prepared,” he replied, laughing as he nuzzled his chin in her hair. “What’s the bad news?”

“It’s your dad,” she said carefully, wincing when she felt him stiffen under her fingertips. “He’s pissed about you leaving C-Sec… and he’s looking for Sol.”

“That’s not news,” Garrus replied, watching her reaction carefully. “What else is going on?”

“He filed a missing person's report,” she said, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger. “And… he said that she was last seen with Johnny.”

Garrus groaned, letting his sub-vocals fully mirror his displeasure. “That bastard,” he hissed, glancing up at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to Jane. “How did you find out about this?”

“He made it a point to tell Anderson about it,” she said grimly. “Uncle David says it’s a bait file, so I can’t go in and change it.”

“Anderson is right,” Garrus replied, lightly running his talons across her scalp. “My father is hedging his bets- he thinks all humans are impetuous and foolhardy, so he’s just waiting on you two to make a mistake.”

“Well, I can’t say he was wrong,” Jane mumbled, shifting against his side. “I’m not giving him Sol,” she said firmly, “but I’ve been racking my brain for ways to keep Johnny from getting tossed in for ‘questioning’ the moment we land. The best I got is to run my bio-program and hack the DNA scanners so they don’t know he’s back yet, but I’m terrified C-Sec is gonna swarm our ship the moment we dock. Honestly, that’s the part that’s got me the most worried,” she admitted, biting her lip. “I’m scared that no matter what I do, this whole thing is gonna go tits up, and I don’t want that for Sol and John.”

 _She’s not wrong,_ he thought grimly, stroking her hair. _My father on a mission is a sight to behold… and she just waltzed right into it._ “We’ll figure out something,” Garrus replied confidently, pressing his forehead to hers. “You’re Brainy Janey- this is what you do.” She huffed, but he just wrapped his arms around her. “Also, this is why you tell your dashing and brilliant mate about these kinds of things- two heads are better than one, right?”

“I suppose,” she grumbled, squeezing his waist and letting out a deep sigh. “Not like I’m complaining- I could use the help.”

“And you’ve got it,” he said brightly, hoping to shift the subject a bit. “But now that I’m sufficiently dejected,” he teased, lightly poking her waist, “how about you tell me what the good news is?”

“I’m actually not sure it was all that good- it was just better by comparison,” Jane admitted, trailing her fingers over his fringe. “I… just wanted to tell you that I found him,” she said quietly, reaching over and handing him the datapad. “It was harder because he’s going by Dr. Heart now- Saren wiped out all traces and connections to his old name. But,” she said confidently, “All the info points to him being on the MSV Fedele… so I told Joker to set a course for it.”

For a moment, Garrus felt like he couldn’t breathe- it was as if all the air had been kicked out of his lungs. “You did it,” he croaked, closing his eyes. “After all this time… you found the bastard.”

Jane nodded, leaning up and pressing her forehead to his. “It was important to you and those families,” she said quietly. “I wasn’t going to give up until I found him.”

Finally, he swallowed, looking down at his mate and trying to figure out just what he’d done to get this woman to fall in love with him. “What’s our ETA?” 

“Twelve hours,” she said quietly. “I already pinged Wrex and John- they’ll be ready in the morning.” She reached up, cupping his face gently with her hand. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? I can send someone else, big guy- you don’t have to go.”

“I want to,” he said firmly, nuzzling into her hand to keep himself calm. “I’ve been waiting on this for years, Jane- I need to be there for this.” 

“Fine by me,” she replied, wrapping her arm over him. “I promise I’ll support you no matter what, ok? Whatever you want, I’m there for you.” 

“Hmmm,” he murmured, settling down in the bed and pulling her close to him. “No Shepard without Vakarian, right?” 

“Damn right,” she replied, pressing her head to his and placing a kiss on his nose. 


	30. Fifty-three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One little error is all it takes.

_ _

* * *

Jane was suiting up when she heard a distinctive dual-toned voice from behind her. “I’d like to come with you,” Nihlus said, leaning casually against the lockers. “I think this could be the break we’ve been looking for- it’s a connection to Saren.” 

“I agree,” Jane replied with a smile. “But no need to worry- we got this handled. Between me, Wrex, Garrus, and Johnny, we should be fine.”

“Should be is the operative word,” Nihlus retorted, looking her up and down. “This is important, Jane- I need to go... I need to question that doctor- his knowledge could be the key.”

Jane paused, but before she could say a word, Wrex walked over and let out an exaggerated yawn. “You know, I’m still a bit tired from the other day, Shepard- maybe you should let the dead man head out in my place.”

Knowing what he was doing, Jane scowled playfully. “Admit it Wrex, you just want to go and caress that hunk of tin we found, don’t you?” 

“Hey, it was hidden in that pirate’s collection for years- you see the condition it’s in.” He shot a glance over to Garrus, who playfully flicked his mandibles at him. “The least the turians can do is give me a few moments to myself, Shepard.”

“Just… try to behave,” she said playfully. Shaking her head, she gestured to Nihlus. “You heard our friendly neighborhood krogan- looks like you’re up.”

“Good,” he said firmly- his face was stoic, but she could hear the relief in his tone. “I’ll make sure Williams is ready to go.” 

At that, Jane snapped her eyes to him. “Um, I didn’t clear-” 

“It’s fine,” Wrex said, clapping a hand on her shoulder. “Besides, you really think one of him is gonna replace me? Let the turian take the human- it still won’t come close, but I’ll feel better.” 

She stared hard at the krogan but he stared right back, his red eyes locked to hers. I don’t like him sometimes, Jane thought, trying her best not to feel like a child being told to share their toys. “If she fucks up, I’m leaving her out there, Nih.” 

Nihlus got a look on his face that told Jane he wanted to say more on the subject, but he just gave her a flick of his mandibles instead. “Understood,” he replied, walking off to get the woman. “We’ll see you shortly.”

This is going to be a nightmare, Jane grumbled, letting out a groan as John made his way over to her and Garrus, looking around for a moment before turning to Jane. “Where’s the turtle?” 

“Sitting this one out so he can caress his new pile of garbage,” Garrus snarked, dodging when Wrex threw something at his head. “We’re taking Kryik and Williams today.” 

John winced, rubbing his arm as he looked at his sister. “We sure that’s a good idea?” 

“I can be professional,” Jane grumbled, rolling her eyes as the two men exchanged looks over her head. “I haven’t started any fights, remember?” 

“No, you just punched a spectre in the face,” John shot back, leaning against his locker while Jane shot daggers at him with her eyes. “Or did we forget that part?” 

“God, I wish I’d eaten you in the womb,” Jane grumbled, slamming her locker shut and trying to ignore the sounds of a chuckling krogan coming from the other side of the room.   


_ _

* * *

The ship was eerily quiet, magnifying the sounds of their footsteps and sending John on edge. _I’m already living on a talk show,_ he thought as he looked around the empty hallway, biotic energy rolling just beneath the surface of his skin. _Did we have to go and add horror vid to the menu as well?_

“Do you think he found out we were coming and left?” Ash asked softly, glancing around the hallway. “Based on what Kryik was saying, I was expecting more mad scientist and less haunted spaceship, honestly.” 

_Same_ , John thought, turning away from the soldier- he made a promise to Kryik to be professional, but the thought of being buddy-buddy with the woman set his nerves on edge. “I’m kinda glad Wrex didn’t come with us,” he joked, hoping to lighten the tension. “He’d be pissed about leaving his tin can and not getting anything to kill.”

“We may well get that chance yet,” Nihlus replied darkly, making John roll his eyes. “There’s still quite a bit of ship left to explore, so stay alert.”

John shot Jane a look- his sister just shrugged. “All the info suggests he’s here, but this doesn’t make sense- the manifest suggested a full staff,” she said cautiously. “If that’s the case, then why is this a ghost town?” 

“Ten to one the doctor got bored,” Garrus growled, checking his gun for the umpteenth time. “I told you what happened to his staff at the clinic, Jane- the bastard is a psychopath.”

“Who’s working with Saren,” Nihlus grumbled, cautiously opening the door and peeking around the corner. “Clear,” he called out, gesturing for them to proceed. “Looks like this way leads to the cargo hold- maybe finding out what they were hauling on this ship will give us some clues.” 

Garrus just nodded, pushing past him and making his way down the hall, leaving the rest of them to follow behind him. “Well, this mission is turning out to be a barrel of laughs,” John muttered, shaking his head as Nihlus and Ashley moved ahead of them. “So glad you brought me along, sis.” 

“Are you ok?” Jane asked quietly, her voice so low that he was sure only the two turians would be able to hear. “Not gonna lie, but I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who looks miserable with this arrangement.” 

John sighed, somewhat relieved to find his sister commiserating with him. “I get why she’s here,” he said quietly, watching as Ashley moved forward to cover Garrus as he made his way to the hold, “but I don’t trust her… and that makes me so goddamn _angry_.”

Jane frowned. “I don’t see why.”

“Because I was with her for _years_ ,” John said bitterly. “That kind of history should mean that I know her inside and out… but I don’t,” he admitted. “All I’ve learned is that I almost married someone who could hate me enough to do that… and it’s twisting me up right now.” 

“Well, she never really knew _you_ …” Instantly, John shot her an icy look, causing her voice to trail off. “Are you going to be alright?” Jane asked, glancing ahead at the others as they huddled by the door. “You don’t have to stay, you know.”

He just sighed and waved her off, making his way to the others. “What do we have?” he asked, signaling to his sister that the conversation was done. “Why are we waiting here?”

“Door’s stuck,” Garrus replied, looking over at him for a second before turning his attention back to the panel. “Almost got it... and-” 

He didn’t get a chance to finish- as soon as the door opened, a snarl tore through the air and the turian was knocked on his back as the greyish looking creature leaped on top of him. Before anyone else could react, Ashley had whipped out her pistol and shot it in the head, letting the force knock the monster back into a nearby crate with a crash. “Holy _fuck_ ,” she breathed, staring at the creature for a second before offering Garrus a hand, “you ok?” 

If Garrus was as surprised as John was, he didn’t show it- _hell, maybe his sub-vocals are screaming and I just can’t hear it,_ he thought as he watched the turian get to his feet. “I’m fine,” he replied, glancing over at the dead creature slumped on the ground. “Nice shot, Williams.” 

_That was instinctive_ , he noted, watching her shrug off a nervous tremor as she moved to the side. Even though it was Garrus that went down, she didn’t even hesitate to take the shot- _funny, I never thought I’d see the day that a Williams would save a turian._

As John shook himself out of his thoughts and checked on Garrus, Nihlus walked over to the body, peering carefully at the weathered skin. “Jane,” he said carefully, “were there any asari on the roster for this ship?”

Frowning, Jane looked down and punched a few keys on her omnitool. “Yeah, there were… why?” 

Nihlus sighed, rising to his feet. “Because it seems that this was once an asari,” he replied, pointing to the creature. “Look at the head… there are the remnants of tentacles on there.” 

“Shit,” Jane muttered, running her hand over her hair. “I’ve got the sinking feeling I know what happened to the rest of the crew, guys.” 

“How many _were_ there?” Ashley asked, her eyes going wide and her hands balling into fists at her sides as she looked around at the others. “And do you think they all ended up like that?”

“Judging by the last crew report, there were fifty-three,” Jane said with a sigh, scrolling through her omnitool. “And I hope to god that some didn’t go through that.”

“Don’t waste the hope,” Garrus said darkly, readying his pistol as he moved further into the room. “I don’t think it has a place here.”   


_ _

* * *

Garrus felt numb as they made their way through the ship. _Fifty-two,_ he thought miserably, wandering through the halls. He’d counted every creature they’d had to put down, knowing that it was one more soul that shouldn’t have had to die. _Fifty-two lives lost, all because no one wanted to take a chance that day… who gets to tell their stories? Will anyone care?_

“Only two rooms left,” Jane said quietly, startling him out of his melancholy thoughts and snapping his attention to the present. “He’s got to be in one of these.” 

“I didn’t see any salarian bodies,” Nihlus agreed, looking over at Garrus. His sub-vocals were rumbling, and he could hear his question as plain as day- _are you ready?_

He nodded, and Garrus headed to one of the doors. “It’s this one,” he said flatly, his pistol at the ready this time- he refused to be taken by surprise again. “He wouldn’t be in the cockpit.” Glancing around at the faces of his party for a moment, he collected himself before turning back to the spectre. “Ready.” 

When he opened the door, he found the salarian cowering in the corner, his body curled into a tight ball. As they made their way into the room, the doctor looked up, his face hopeful. “Thank goodness you came! Those… _things_ … took over- they attacked the crew and I holed up in here.” He looked around at everyone, locking eyes with Garrus for a millisecond before turning to Jane. “I… I think I’m the only one left,” he whispered. “I don’t know how much longer I would’ve made it.” 

Thankfully, his mate wasn’t buying his story. “Doctor Saleon,” she said, her tone clipped and angry- he could tell that the carnage on the ship was weighing on her too. “We’ve come to take you in.” 

The salarian gasped, looking around at all of them with a horrified expression. “Saleon? No… I’m Doctor _Heart_ ,” he said quickly. “Was he someone that was supposed to be on the ship?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Garrus snapped, stalking forward and getting stopped by Jane. “I know exactly who you are- I should’ve put a bullet in your head when I had the chance!” 

“What! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He turned back to Jane, his expression pleading. “Your crew member is crazy,” he wailed. “Keep him away from me- I haven’t done anything wrong!” 

Jane rolled her eyes. “Save it- I already did the digging on you before we got here,” she said furiously. “What are you doing here, Saleon? Why are you working with Saren?” 

He started to deny it again, but Nihlus leaned over, placing his pistol against his head. “I’d think carefully about what you want your answer… or your last words… to be, doctor.” 

Realizing he was beaten, the salarian let his shoulders slump and glared at them. “Fine,” he said tersely. “You win- I’m Saleon… are you happy now?”

“Not yet,” Garrus replied, cocking his pistol and aiming it at his head while Nihlus made his way over to the terminal. “But give me a few minutes and I certainly will be.” 

Jane put a hand on his arm, making him lower his weapon. “Why are you working with Saren,” she asked, ignoring Garrus’s look of outrage. “What could possibly be worth all this?” 

“The science,” he replied coldly. “He allowed me to continue my work in exchange for notes on the genophage- I sent him data, and he referred subjects to me.” The salarian smiled, locking eyes with Garrus. “I saw no reason to turn down his offer.” 

“So that little thing about, you know, _not_ murdering everyone you could get your hands on didn’t stand out as a no-no?” John shot back- Garrus could see the hairs on the back of his neck starting to stand on end. “Did you happen to miss that part where your crew didn’t sign up to become your lab rats?”

“They had no worth,” the doctor spat, making Garrus see red. “At least this way, their miserable existences are worth something.”

“I’ve heard enough,” Garrus growled, raising his gun again. “I’m not letting you walk away from this- this time, there’s no spectres, no civilians, and no C-Sec.” He leveled his pistol at the Salarian’s head, but before he could pull the trigger, Jane put her hand on his arm- furious, he jerked away. “What? Why do you keep stopping me, Shepard?”

She bristled at him calling her by her last name- _that’s going to be a problem for another time_ , he thought as she stared him in the eye. “No one knows what’s been going on here,” she said, not taking her eyes off him. “If we kill him, he doesn’t get to pay for what he’s done here… or back there.” 

“He can pay with his life,” Garrus spat, not taking his eyes off the Salarian. “That would be a start.” 

“ _Or_ he can help us take down Saren… and save lives while he serves,” she replied, reaching out for him again- this time, he didn’t move away. “This isn’t you,” she said quietly, her eyes never leaving his. “The man I married would want justice, not vengeance.”

He started to say something, but the look in her eyes made him pause for a moment. _I never want to give her a reason to look at me differently_ , he thought, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh. “You’re one lucky salarian,” he hissed as he closed his eyes, letting the shudder of rage roll over him as he took a step back. “Get him out of my sight before I kill him.”

“Thanks- you’re too kind,” the doctor sneered. “Too bad you’re also stupid.” The doctor reached in his coat for a gun, but before his fingers could clasp the weapon, his wife had sent a bullet between his eyes, sending the salarian sprawling to the ground.

Wide-eyed, he turned to his mate, his sub-vocals rumbling with fury. “You could’ve been _killed!_ If we had to shoot him anyway, you should’ve just let me shoot him in the first place!”

Jane just sighed. “I can’t control what he chose to do, but I can _damn_ sure try to stop my husband from spending the rest of his days wondering if he did the right thing.” She stared at him, her eyes daring him to contradict her. “You’re better than that.”

John nodded in agreement before placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to head back while you guys do your data hunting,” he said slowly, glancing around the room. “I’ve seen enough death for one day, thanks.” 

“Agreed,” Ash replied, shivering as she looked around the lab, her eyes lingering on the rainbow of bloodstains on the floor. “I… I can go start the report, Commander.” 

Jane blinked for a moment, shooting a quick glance over to her brother- John just gave a slight inclination of his head. Silently reassured that her brother was ok with the arrangement, she nodded curtly. “That would be helpful- thank you, Williams.” The two left the room, leaving them alone in the silent lab, staring around the room. “Were you able to get into that terminal?” Jane asked, walking over to where Nihlus was standing.”

He shook his head. “Can’t,” he said irritably. “I’ve tried everything- nothing works.” 

Instantly, his mate got a grin on her face. “You haven’t tried me,” Jane said, tapping a few keys on her omnitool. Soon, the screen began to flicker, and she looked up at the two turians. “Copying the data,” she replied, her tone matter-of-fact. “No sense in trying to do it here… plus they need a copy of what went on here.” Jane looked around, then dropped her head. “I refuse to let all this be for nothing.” 

Garrus nodded, resting his hand on her shoulder- he knew he had some apologies to make when they got back, but for now, they were ok. “I appreciate it,” he said quietly. “That means a lot, Jane.” 

She started to say something else, but a scream tore through the air, followed by gunshots. In a split second, Jane’s eyes went wide as saucers. _“Johnny!”_ The data forgotten, she and Garrus raced out of the room, only to find a pale Ash underneath a screaming John, the back of his armor a smoldering mess as she held her pistol, the gun trembling in her hand. Racing to her brother, she tried to grab him off the woman, but he howled with pain at her touch. “Ash!” Jane barked, “what the fuck happened!”

“The cockpit,” she stammered as Garrus hoisted John off her, ignoring his screams and the smell of burning flesh coming off his back. He was scared she was going to protest, but Jane just nodded. “That bastard must’ve opened the door before you shot him- it spat acid at me, but John knocked me out of the way.” She swallowed, shakily getting to her feet. “I should’ve checked,” she said bitterly. “This is my fault- I should’ve swept the place and checked!”

“Garrus,” Jane shouted, all the color drained from her face, “I need you to get him back to the ship, now!” 

He didn’t even respond- his pulse was pounding in his ears too hard to form a coherent thought. _It’s not your fault, it’s mine,_ Garrus thought as he raced back to the ship, cradling his friend’s body in his arms. _I knew there were fifty-three._


	31. Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sol treats John; Nihlus spars with Wrex

_ _

* * *

Sol raced to the elevatory, anti-toxin in hand as she fought to calm her rapid heartbeat. _Almost there- he’s going to be fine._ The elevator felt slower than cement drying as she descended to the cargo bay, anxiously pacing around the car. _Come on,_ she thought, impatiently tapping her foot, _I need to get down there._

After what seemed like an eternity, the doors slid open and Sol raced out, letting out a keen as she saw Garrus cradling a screaming John in his arms. Part of her wanted to panic, but seeing John writhing in agony made the nerves slide away as her training kicked in. “Hold him tight- I need to get him the anti-toxin before he starts convulsing,” she said flatly, working to keep the distress out of her voice. Without a second thought, she stuck him in the neck, keening softly when he let out a scream so loud that she was scared that the very walls would vibrate. The woman standing next to Garrus shot her a look filled with fury, but Sol didn’t flinch. “We have to get him to the med-bay now.” 

“If it’s a painkiller,” Ashley growled as they raced to the elevator, “then why is Johnny screaming like his blood is on fire?” 

Sol forced herself to calm down- she knew that she didn’t know the whole story, and right now there wasn’t time to get into it. “Because it probably feels like it is- I had to lace the anti-toxin with a painkiller.” She ran her hand over his face, working to let her sub-vocals roll over him to help calm him down. “It’s going to take a few minutes, but he should be fine once the toxin works its way out of his system.” She glanced over at John, the scent of acrid metal stinging her nose. “We have to get him out of this stuff... and quickly.” 

As they raced into the medbay, Garrus began immediately taking off the outer portions of his armor and Dr. Chakwas raced over. “Get as much of that off of him as possible,” she told Sol, running a scanner over John, who had finally stopped screaming. When Garrus snapped off what was left of his back piece, she frowned. “That patch of his undersuit is melted in his skin,” she said, looking a little green. “Sol, cut him out of as much of it as you can, but don’t yank anything that appears to be stuck to him- I’ll handle that.” 

Sol nodded, then turned to Ash. “You have to leave,” she said, glancing at the woman. “I need room to work.”

“Then kick him out!” Ashley yelled, jerking her hand at Garrus. “I need… I _have_ to stay,” she stammered, her face going pale at the sight of the smoldering skin. “It’s all my fault,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “I have to stay.” 

“You have to leave,” she replied, firmly yet politely as she proceeded to cut his suit. “Gar can lift Johnny for us- you can’t. If you want, you can go watch at the door, but you need to leave… now.” 

Ash started to say something else, but Chakwas placed a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll let you back in later,” she said kindly, guiding the woman toward the door. “But my assistant is right- you have to leave now.”

Thankful for the doctor’s intervention, Sol and Gar continued to cut John out of the suit. By this time, the toxin had finally worked through his system and painkillers had started to work- she had lowered her head to check his pulse when she felt his hand limply start to caress her face. “I love you,” he slurred, his eyes glassy as they stared down at her. “I love you so fucking much it hurts, Tiny.” 

“That’s just the acid- you can shut the fuck up now,” Garrus grumbled, pulling off whatever he could of his suit, leaving the man as naked as the day he was born- desperate not to look, Sol tried to focus her eyes anywhere but on John. 

“That hurts too,” John mumbled. “Well, used to hurt… now, I don’t have a back.” He got a goofy grin on his face and pressed his head to Sol’s, making her gasp with the sudden contact. “She loves me,” he said, pointing listlessly at Sol before nuzzling his brow against hers. “She’s my… whatchamacallit?” Stunned, Sol just stared at him, patting his hand while Chakwas prepped a large tank and filled it with medi-gel. _Please don’t say it,_ Sol thought, glancing over at Garrus, who looked like he couldn’t figure out what to do or where to put his face at the moment. _I didn’t want to hear it like this… please don’t do this._

But, John Shepard did not give one iota about tact in his inebriated state- it was at that moment she realized she might have taken Jane’s advice about his pain tolerance too seriously and given him a bit too much medication. _“Mate!”_ John yelled, leaned back as he happily touched her cheek. “That’s the one- you’re my mate, Sol. Mate… man, that’s a really funny word! It sounds like those people in one of Janey’s vids… ” He threw his head back and laughed, lightly tugging her mandible with each word. “Mate… mate, mate, mate, blimey, mate!” 

“And he’s finally lost his mind,” Garrus muttered, glancing over at the doctor. “What can we do about this idiot, doc?”

“Unfortunately, nothing,” she said with a grin. “It’s for the best, actually- now, let’s get the happy man into this tank, shall we?” 

“Gladly,” her brother grumbled, carefully lifting the giggling man and carrying him over to the tank. Sol followed her brother, her mind still reeling from the ramblings of the intoxicated man. “In you go, Shepard,” Garrus said, his voice tinged with exhaustion. “Time to get you straightened out.”

Instantly, all the mirth left John’s face, and he went completely pale. “No,” he whispered, struggling to get away and trying to hook his hands into Garrus's cowl, “you can’t put me in there.” 

“John,” Garrus said patiently, trying to stop the man from fighting in his arms, “your back looks like a crater covered in fabric- you have to go inside.” 

_“I WON’T GO BACK IN THERE!”_ John screamed, launching himself from his grip and draping himself over Sol. “You can’t,” he pleaded, staring at her with tears in his eyes. “You can’t let them lock me back inside, please! Sol, you won’t do that to me... I know you won’t! Please,” he cried, burying his face in her shoulder, “don’t put me back in there.” 

“Johnny, it’s ok… I’ll be right here,” Sol murmured, stroking his hair and giving a soft hum like her mom used to do when she was upset. “I’m not leaving you, I promise- you won’t be alone.” 

“I can’t be in there,” he stammered, his heart beating so fast she was scared he was going to use his biotics on them all out of panic. “I _can’t_ … I won’t…” 

“Then hold my hand,” she said, guiding him slowly toward the tank. “I’m not going to let you go- I’ll be here the entire time.” She looked over at Gar, who nodded and picked him up, placing the man inside the tank. “Lay back and take my hand,” she said, looking down at him. “Just breathe, Johnny.”

Slowly, without taking his eyes off her the entire time, John let Garrus guide him on his back, submerging him into the gel. “I love you,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “Don’t leave me, Sol.” 

Knowing he probably wouldn’t remember in the morning, Sol closed her eyes and sighed, taking his hand as he finally settled down. “Love you too, Johnny.”

_ _

* * *

Garrus watched as his sister held his partner’s hand and stroked his hair, singing a song their mother used to sing to them when they were kids. _Sol wasn’t just humoring him,_ he thought as she sat next to the tank. _She’s in love with him._

Not wanting to disturb them, he walked out the medbay, only to see a distraught looking Ashley staring at him as he walked out the room. “So,” she said, her voice shaky, “it’s true, huh?” 

Unsure as to how he should answer that, Garrus just stared, wishing that he could just be done with this series of awkward events. “I think he cares for my sister,” he said finally- as much as he hated to admit it, the words felt true. In his current condition, the man could barely stand, much less lie- more likely than not, whatever he said in that room was probably the truth. “I’m sorry, Williams- I know... “ Garrus paused, not sure what to say- eventually, he just sighed. “I know this has to be hard for you.” 

“You can’t know,” she said flatly, all the fire gone out from her tone. _At this point, I think I might prefer her angry,_ he thought as he watched the woman. “You guys get everything you want- why would you know?” 

Ashley turned on her heels and left, leaving Garrus standing alone in the hallway. Looking up, he saw Jane and Nihlus leaning against a back wall, watching the interaction closely. “You could’ve come over,” he said, walking over and wrapping his arms around Jane. “You didn’t have to hide out back here.” 

“Seemed easier,” Jane said softly, resting her head against his chest. “If she wasn’t getting in, I figured something was going on and you’d let me know- no sense in both of us going inside and getting in the way of Sol and the doc.”  
  
“True.” Garrus nuzzled her head, then sighed. “It was… rough. He’s higher than anything right now- if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’d gotten a faceful of Red Sand.” 

“Well, I had to warn Sol that he’s got the pain tolerance of an elephant,” Jane said, shifting her gaze to the now-quiet medbay. “If he was screaming like that, it must be torturous- I advised her to up the dosage on whatever they gave him. Problem is, Johnny hates drugs, so…”

“And so we get a version of John that is so high that he just proclaimed to be mated to my sister,” Garrus said flatly. “Who is, incidentally, sitting at his bedside watching over him at this very moment.” He looked over at his mate, then frowned. “Why did you send me instead, Jane?”

“Because I knew they were going to need you,” she said quietly, reaching over and running her hand over the scarred tissue on the back of her neck. “If anyone knows the treatment for acid burns… it’s me.” 

Garrus felt the skin between his plates start to itch. “You knew how he’d react.”

Jane nodded miserably. “I had a pretty good idea,” she said, playing with her fingers. “Haven’t you noticed how he always paces on an elevator, never sits in the middle of anything if he can help it, would always rather drive…” Her voice trailed off, and Garrus felt his blood run cold. “John… _hates_ enclosed spaces- he has ever since we were kids.” 

He wanted to ask her more, but something in her expression told him that it wasn’t a good idea- instead, he sighed. “And you figured it would be best to have me in there in case he didn’t do so well.”

“Yeah,” she admitted, looking up at him. “Was I right?” 

“You already know you were,” he replied, taking her hand and running his finger over her knuckles. “I’m sure you could hear it.” 

“Yeah," she murmured sadly, leaning against him and squeezing his hand. “I wanted to be there, but I was scared that if he saw me, he’d go right back to that day… I didn’t want that for him.”   
  
“But now that you know he’s ok,” Nihlus said, glancing over at Jane for a moment and letting out a nervous hum, “you need to go check on Williams- she needs you too, Jane.” 

Jane looked at him as if he’d offered her a pile of varren shit. “And why do I care?” 

“Because she’s part of your crew,” he said simply. “And he’s in this mess because he saved her life- judging by the injuries on John and the position we found them in, the acid would have gone into her face- she wouldn’t be as lucky as he is.” 

His mate’s tone was as cold as ice. “I don’t consider my brother reliving the worst trauma of his life with a fuckton of poison coursing through his veins as lucky, Nihlus.” 

“He’s alive,” he said quietly- Garrus noticed the spectre was being careful to keep his voice even. “That’s the important thing, yes, but he’s in there because of her.” Jane sighed, but Nihlus continued, ignoring her discomfort. “She needs to know that it wasn’t her fault, Jane. That can’t come from me- it has to come from you.” 

“I don’t care if she _is_ uncomfortable,” Jane snapped. “Hell, _I’m_ fucking uncomfortable- why do I give a shit what she thinks right now?”

“Stop acting like a spirit's damned _child_ ,” Nihlus snapped back, startling Jane enough to make her flinch. “You’re a commander and a spectre- grow up and act like it for once! This feud of yours? It might have meant something before, but there are stakes out here- at least pretend like you understand that!” He stood up from the table, his sub-vocals rumbling angrily. “You were chosen for a reason, and I’m _done_ catering to your fucking pride, Jane. You need to start acting like the leader you’re supposed to be or step the fuck out of the way- I already have one soldier acting like an infant- I don’t need two.” 

As he stormed off, Garrus looked over to Jane and sighed. “I hate to say it… but Nihlus is right, Jane- this is your ship,” he said pointedly. “We’re here to follow you- like it or not, people are looking to you for guidance, but that means you have to lead.” 

“I’m… I’m not in the place to care right now,” she admitted. “Just… let me make sure my brother is ok first, all right?” She exhaled and lowered her head into her hands, her posture weary. “I just need a minute.”

“We all do,” Garrus replied. “I just don’t know if we’re going to get the luxury of getting it.” 

_ _

* * *

“You’re even weaker than usual, turian!” Wrex bellowed, swiping Nihlus out of the way. “Either hit me or stop wasting my time- I could be in bed right now!”

Growling, Nihlus fumed, dodging the charging krogan and sweeping him as he passed. “Stop taunting and fight like the battlemaster you are- take a decent swing at me for once!”

“Oh, looks like someone’s upset,” Wrex yelled, taking a heavy swing at the turian’s head, which he easily dodged. “Still pining over what you can’t have?” 

“Shut it, krogan,” Nihlus snarled, kicking Wrex in the chest- the blow barely made him blink. “You talk too much.” 

“I say enough,” Wrex replied, circling him. “Not my fault you don’t like it, princess.” 

Nihlus narrowed his eyes, but that was all it took- seeing the opening, Wrex immediately wrapped an arm around his chest and slammed him to the floor so hard he saw spots. He started to debate going again, but the rattle in his chest made him think otherwise. Nodding to the krogan, Wrex reached over and gave him a hand, pulling him to his feet. _Nothing puts things into perspective like being driven into the ground by a krogan_ , he thought as he walked shakily to the bench. _I need to train more._

As he took a moment to collect himself, Wrex moved next to him. “You only get like this when something’s wrong, Spectre,” he said as he found a seat next to him. “What kicked you in your quad this time?” 

“Shepard is in the med-bay after taking a hit for Williams,” he replied, staring at the ceiling. “However, Williams is too much of a child to get over this obsession with her past, and the commander is willfully ignoring the damage her childish behavior is inflicting on the crew.” He sighed, then turned to the krogan, his sub-vocals laced with irritation. “Some days I wonder if I made the right choice,” he said flatly. “How could I have nominated someone so stubborn and petulant to be the representation of humanity?” 

“Because the kid is human,” Wrex replied. “She’s just showing you that.” Nihlus snorted, but Wrex just laughed. “Look, you and I both know what humans can be like- what would you expect a person with the commander’s credentials to be like?”

Nihlus started to give a sarcastic response, but he paused instead, taking a moment to think about what the krogan was saying. “Pompous,” he said finally. “Unwilling to listen, convinced their position has taught them everything there is to know.” Wrex just looked at him, so Nihlus continued. “Uncaring and opportunistic… constantly searching for their next conquest.” 

Wrex nodded. “And our commander?” 

Nihlus sighed. “Young,” he said simply. “Unsure of herself, so she doubts her abilities- she looks to others for guidance. Doesn’t hide from confrontation, but will try to de-escalate it first.”

“True.” Wrex cracked his neck, letting his massive muscles ripple as he moved his head around. “Does she care, though?” 

“Too much,” he said tersely. “Every fight we’ve had on this damnable ship is because-” suddenly, his eyes went wide and he turned to the krogan, who had a satisfied look on his face. “She cares too much,” he repeated, turning the words over in his mind. “She’ll move the world for those she cares about… and heaven help you if you’ve wronged them.”

“Like you,” Wrex said simply, staring at the turian. “She cares about you too- from the info I’ve gathered, I don’t think you’d be here if she didn’t.” 

“It’s a fair assumption,” Nihlus replied, his mandibles fluttering as he tried to process this new information. “I’m starting to see why the humans have such strict rules around fraternization,” he said irritably. “This relationship between Shepard and Williams is liable to tear this whole crew apart. John and Jane inspire loyalty, whereas Ash brings nothing but enmity- for us to succeed, this bickering has to stop!”

Wrex just shrugged. “You decided to keep Williams- why are you making it the commander’s problem?” 

“Williams saved her mate today,” he snapped back. “You would think that would garner the woman some goodwill, but no- I told Jane to talk to her crewmember and she threw a fit like a fledgling being denied its favorite toy.” Working to tamper down his irritation, Nihlus dug his talons into his palms. “How is she ever supposed to lead if she won’t act like a leader?”

“She’s too busy being a sister,” Wrex replied evenly. When Nihlus rolled his eyes, Wrex chuckled. “Look- when Williams was on board, did the commander lose her cool with her?” 

“No,” he admitted, replaying the events of the day in his head. “She wasn’t pleased with her, but she didn’t do anything that would cause strife today, either. Come to think of it, neither did John- they both did their jobs… in his case, admirably.” 

“So, why are you asking for more than that right now?” Wrex asked, fixing the turian with his strange red eyes. “You got them to not claw each other’s eyes out- isn’t that enough?” 

“Because Williams will not grow like this,” he insisted, turning to the krogan. “She’s stuck, and I feel like I’m at an impasse with her- every time we make progress, she slides right back.” His sub-vocals thrummed with frustration, but Wrex just nodded. “I was hoping that if the commander showed her how her growth was appreciated-” 

“Williams is a big girl,” Wrex said firmly, cutting the turian off. “She needs to understand her own damn worth and let this shit with Shepard go- the sooner she does that, the sooner they’ll all stop acting like pyjacks.” The krogan let out a huff and shook his head. “Those two Shepards are cut from the same cloth, turian- do you really think the male would let it go if Vakarian was sniping at the commander at every turn?” 

Nihlus chuckled. “He’d blow us all to hell first,” he admitted, running his hand over his fringe. “Their memories for slights against their family is long and deep- loyalty needs to be earned with them.” He sighed, thinking about his previous deceptions. “I know that first-hand.” 

“Then get Williams to stop losing her fucking mind every chance she gets,” Wrex replied, glancing over at the spectre. “You get your bony ass handed to you by me to clear your head- do the same with her.” 

“I tried, but she’s too caught up in citing regulations she flaunts when it’s convenient for her to do anything about it,” he said irritably. “Spirits above, that woman is stubborn!”

“So be the leader,” Wrex said simply, causing Nihlus to cock his head with confusion. “Initiate it,” he said, rolling his eyes as if the very concept should’ve been apparent the whole time. “Show her what she needs- use that anger against her. She’s a powder keg,” the krogan said, getting up from the bench. “Get her to the point where she’s got no choice but to lash out or cry- hell, either one would do her a world of good.” He slapped the turian on the shoulder, then laughed. “G’night, turian- think about it, all right?” 

Nihlus nodded as the krogan shuffled off to bed, sitting on the bench and staring at the ceiling. _Use her emotions against her_ , he thought, shaking his head at how simple the solution could be. _I suppose that’s easy enough._


	32. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus and Ashley have a sparring session on the observation deck

_ _

* * *

After changing into a light shirt and workout pants, Nihlus rapped on Ashley’s door, causing the soldier to stare at him with confusion when she opened the door. She was dressed for bed, but Nihlus could tell that she’d been crying- her eyes were puffy and rimmed with red, and he could see the faint indentations where the pillow had been pressed into her skin. “Get dressed,” he remarked, leaning in the doorway and looking her up and down. “Now.” 

“Why?” Ash asked, causing him to roll his eyes- desperate to keep his cool, Nihlus just looked away. “What did I do? I didn’t get into an argument or a fight and I did my job- what do you want with me?” 

“Just… get dressed and meet me on the observation deck in ten minutes,” he said again, turning on his heel and walking away before she could respond. _Spirits, does she have to question everything? Is there nothing she can just do without needing to test me first?_

However, as he headed to the deck to wait for Williams, Nihlus realized that he actually didn’t mind her questioning him- it meant that she still had her own mind, and any decisions that she made were done because she wished to, not because she was coerced into it. No, what he minded was the fact that she was willingly blinding herself to the truth of the matter, and it was sending ripples through the tenuous familiarity amongst the crew. 

_She has to do it on her own,_ he thought, watching as she made her way over. _It’s just a matter of getting her to face it._ “At least you can still follow instructions,” he said mildly, looking her over- Ash looked sleepy, but her face went tight at the sound of his voice. “There’s that, at least.” 

“You’re the one who called me up here,” Ashley said, looking around the observation deck for a moment before settling her gaze on him. “What is it now?”

"I did," he said evenly, staying completely still. “I was wondering- are you done sniveling over what you didn’t have yet? I’d like to get back to work without worrying about you flying off the handle like a despondent fledgling next time we all work together.” 

She cocked an eyebrow, clearly not expecting such a brash statement from him. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me.” Nihlus got up from his seat, walking over to her. “Are you done pining for what you can’t have, Williams?” 

“Shut up, Kryik,” Ash muttered, trying to move away, but he blocked her with his foot, halting her path. “Leave me alone.”

“Why? So you can go back into your room and wallow in self-pity, wishing that you were there with him instead of Miss Vakarian?” He leaned over towards her face, then let out a laugh. “I don’t know why- it’s not like you deserved to be.”

“I said... _shut...up_ ,” she growled, her eyes narrowing at him. “What the fuck business is it of yours anyway?”

“As I said before, you _are_ my business, Williams,” Nihlus replied, watching and smelling her agitation rising. “And you sitting there pining away for a life that neither of you ever wanted is not only irritating but outright disgusting- it’s as if you have no self-respect.” 

“Where the fuck do you get off?” Ashley snarled, leaning in toward him. “You weren’t there- you don’t know what it was like! What the hell makes you think that you get to tell me what I wanted?” 

“Because I can see it,” he replied, pacing around her and leaning closer to her ear. “I see it in your eyes, I saw it when you fought. You wanted control, Williams- you wanted a puppet that would cater to your every whim.” Ash went stock still, and he smiled, letting out a slightly menacing hum. “And when Jane threatened to take John off your leash, you couldn’t handle it… he had to be everything you wanted- nothing else.” 

“I... _loved_ … _John_ ,” she said furiously. “I still do- you… you don’t know what you're talking about.” 

“Oh?” Nihlus moved, lightly checking her with his shoulder and jostling her. “You know what I think?” He stopped in front of her, tapping the side of his face with his talon. “I think you loved the _idea_ of John… you loved the fact that he was the one the Alliance loved- he was just your ticket to getting out from under your grandfather’s shadow.” 

“ _Fuck you._ ” Ash was turning redder and redder by the minute, and Nihlus smiled down at her, the mocking expression fixed on his face. “You don’t know shit about what happened!”

“Don’t I?” He started circling her again, watching the vein in her neck start to pulsate- if she’d been a biotic, he might have started to grow concerned at this point. “You saw John as your shining star, the way for the Alliance to see you as more- no longer the cursed descendant of that failed general, but the right-hand of the Hero of Elysium- you wanted that, _craved_ that… and anything that threatened to take that from you, you tried to stamp out… like Jane.”

“She was meddling! Always saying that he wasn’t really like this, or that he wasn’t happy- how the fuck would she know? She wasn’t there- she didn’t get to see what I saw!” 

“Then why does Solana see it?” He watched her face, noticing the slight hitch in her breath- the inhale was subtle but conveyed the impact of his words as surely as if he’d slapped her. “Miss Vakarian sees him every day- in fact, she’s with him right now. Was it _you_ he cried out for, Williams? When faced with the most terrifying fears he’s ever known, was it you he looked to for comfort... or was it her?” Her breath was coming in raspy pants right now, and her fists were balled at her side, but he pressed on. “I heard it, plain as day- he fought for her to stay with him… what happened when you tried, Williams?”

She opened and closed her mouth, but no sound came out, just the strangled sounds of air filled the room. “They kicked me out,” she rasped, blinking rapidly as if she were trying to fight off tears. “The doctor told me to leave.” 

“As she should,” Nihlus replied, leaning into her face, leaning close enough to almost touch her face- he could see his breath rustling the stray hairs surrounding her cheeks. “Because you… _don’t… belong… there,_ ” he said coldly, his green eyes boring into hers. “Or maybe you’re just too stupid to figure that out.” 

At that, Ashley let out a scream of rage and headbutted him in the face, causing the turian to stagger backward. “ _FUCK YOU!_ ” she screamed, charging forward and ignoring the reddening welts on her face. “ _YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT!”_

Laughing, Nihlus sidestepped her, pushing her to the ground. “I know _you_ ,” Nihlus purred, his smile dripping with condescension. “Poor little Williams, too scared to accept the truth- has to try to rage against everything… only to end up with nothing.” He crouched down and leaned over her body, watching as she glared at him. “Face it... You’re alone- no one wants you, Williams... least of all John.” 

She let out a guttural cry and reached for his legs, sending Nihlus crashing to the ground- instead of being angry, he just grinned, turning his head to her and baring his teeth. “Still trying to fight? Why can’t you ever accept that you’ve lost, Williams? What’s it going to take for you to realize that there are some things you just can’t fight for?”

Screaming with rage, she leaped on top of him, only to get the wind knocked out of her when he grabbed her by the arms and flipped her on her back, pressing her tight against the floor. “You can’t beat me,” he whispered, leaning into her face, this time making sure to stay just out of her reach. “Stop fighting and accept it- you’ve _lost_. You lost this fight, you’ve lost John, and you’re going to lose your job... aren’t you tired of fighting these losing battles?”

She just screamed again, but he held her firm, ignoring her writhing in his grip. “You… _lost_ ,” he said pointedly. “Accept it.” 

“I _didn’t!_ ” Ashley glared at him, her expression murderous. “Get _off_ me!” 

“Once you admit you lost,” he replied. “I’m already on top of you, there’s no sense in me working to get back here again.” Then he looked at her and smiled. “But then again, it’s just you- it’s not like it would be that much work anyway.”

 _“I didn’t lose!”_ Ash screamed, trying to buck him off her. “I lost my _future_ , Kryik! Why can’t you fucking see that!”

“Because you always think you’re the victim,” he snarled back, this time leaning his face into hers. “You want to fight? Then fight for your future, Ashley! All I ever hear from you is what happened in the past- when are you going to start fighting for the life you actually deserve!” 

Stunned, Ash went stiff in his arms- her eyes went wide for a moment, then finally shut. “Because I don’t deserve one,” she said quietly. “Hell, look at me- I’m fighting with you over bullshit.” She snorted, then rested her head against the floor. “I’m done,” she said flatly, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. “You can let me up now.” 

“I don’t think I can,” he replied, his tone less cutting now. “I need you to look at me.” When she didn’t, he sighed and shook his head. “Look at me, Ashley.” 

Finally, she dragged her eyes to his, her expression weary and listless. “What.” 

“You _are_ worth something,” he said firmly, watching as she gave a derisive snort. “I wouldn’t be here pushing you if you weren’t. All those things I just told you were absolutely true… but you need to just stop dwelling on the bad ones- I need you to focus, Ashley- you have so much more potential and you’re squandering it by living in the past.” 

“Whatever,” she replied, her tone dry and flat. Though she was being stoic, he could tell she was a wreck- her pulse was racing beneath his fingertips, and he could feel her heartbeat thudding rapidly beneath him. “LIke I said, I’m done.” 

“You’re _more_ ,” he said firmly, staring directly at her. “You are _not_ some simpering mess that cannot move on from a past incident. You can learn… you can grow.”

“Obviously, I _can’t_ ,” she said, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. “Every time I try, I end up right back here- what’s the goddamn point?” 

“Unlike you, I don’t waste my time,” Nihlus said sharply. “You want to be the victim? Fine- you are well within your rights to do so. But you’re going to do it off this ship- I can’t have you pulling everyone into your spiral of misery when I know full well you’re capable of so much more.”

“Why do you care?” Ash asked- she was no longer struggling at this point, so he relaxed his grip on her wrists. “I came at you for no reason- why do you give a shit about me?” 

At that, he finally smiled, letting her go of her wrists and sitting back- to his surprise, she stayed right where she was. “Technically, I provoked you- you were never going to do it on your own.” 

Her eyes went wide, then she propped herself up on her elbows. “Why would you do that?” 

“Because you have this stupid rigidity about your alliance rules,” he said pointedly. “I spar all the time with your krogan when I get stressed- you seem to think it's a bad thing… until you get so mad you can’t think straight.” Rolling his neck, he chuckled. “Seems that sparring with you is actually quite interesting, Ashley.” 

Ash just stared at him, wiping the trickle of blood off her face. “And you do that to release tension?”

He shrugged. “Either this or sex- I had hoped to release tension with Miss Vakarian, but I don’t see that being an option, so sparring it is.” Getting to his feet, he picked up the tube of medi-gel he’d left on the table and sat back on the floor next to her. “Come here.” 

Sighing, she moved closer, letting him dab the gel on the cuts on her face. “You’ve got a sharp fucking face,” she grumbled. “That usually doesn’t hurt so much when I do it.” 

“It was unexpected,” he said with a laugh. “I must say, I didn’t expect you to attack me with your head.” 

It was her turn to shrug. “Well, I had to work with what I had, “ she said with a smile, finally relaxing a little. “I saw an opening, and I took it.” When he laughed, she let her smile widen a little more. “You know, this wasn’t that bad, all things considered.” 

“Yes, because I’m in the habit of recommending things that are detrimental to your health,” Nihlus replied, rolling his eyes. “I seem to remember telling you to either spar or have sex with someone long before it got to this point.”

“Whatever,” she replied, all heat gone from her tone. Suddenly, she got quiet, staring off into the distance. “You really aren’t going to bust me down for fighting with you?” 

He laughed, then rolled his eyes again. “As I’ve said before, hierarchy rules are different from your Alliance- these types of measures are encouraged to keep recruits composed in high-stress times.” 

She just scoffed, reaching up and smoothing her hair- at the sudden motion, the woman let out a hiss. “Might not be the worst thing.” She paused, then her face turned red. “How…” Before she could finish her thought, she shook her head. “Never mind.”

Noticing her stiffness, he reached down and lifted her to her feet, eyeing her as she moved to make sure she was steady. “Stop being a child, Ashley- what’s on your mind?” 

Ash began to blush furiously as he looped an arm around her waist, guiding her back to her room. “It’s nothing.” As they got into the elevator, she paused and moved against the wall, looking up at him curiously as he punched the button for the crew quarters. “Why did you start using my name?” 

Nihlus looked over at her, surprised at the question. “Should I not?” 

She shook her head. “Honestly, it just surprised me… no one here calls me by my name- just Williams or BB.” 

“BB?” The doors opened and they headed out, him carefully walking behind her. “I don’t understand.”

She got to her room, then paused at her door. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “Stands for Bitchy Barbie… Jane used to call me that- said I was a perfect bitch.” He chuckled, but she scowled and crossed her arms. “It’s not _funny_ , Nihlus.” 

It was his turn to raise his brow-plate at her. “Nihlus, is it?” 

“Yeah, well,” she looked down, her face starting to flush. “I thought… since you weren’t calling me Williams and you weren’t officially my CO, we might have a shot at being friends.” When he didn’t respond, she sighed. “You know what- you can just forget I said that... it’s stupid.” 

Nihlus just looked at her. “Either we can head inside your room or we can continue this conversation at another time- considering you look like you can barely stand, yammering in the hall feels rather asinine, don’t you think?”

“Oh,” she replied, glancing at her door and turning red again- he hadn’t meant to chastise her, but the damage was apparently done. “Yeah… you can come in.” 

She walked inside, and he followed behind her, making his way over to the tiny chair in her room. “Why would you think the idea of being friends was stupid?”

“Because I don’t have any,” she replied. “You’re the only one who gives a shit about me, and even though I can’t exactly figure out why… it’s nice,” she admitted, twisting the hem of her shirt. “I don’t ever have to worry about offending you for some reason.”

“Trust me, you offend me plenty,” he replied, then laughed as her face fell. “It’s just not enough to make me take any action on it.” Watching her shift on the bed, he frowned. “Are you all right?” 

“Yeah… it’s just I came down hard on this side twice today,” Ash said, wincing. “Hurts like a sonofabitch.”

Realizing what she meant, he nodded, getting up to sit next to her on the bed. “Lift up your shirt,” he said, earning a look of horror from Ash. “I’m not trying to seduce you,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes. “I need to see if you’re bruised.” 

Understanding and embarrassment crossed her face, but Ash did as she was told, taking off her shirt and sitting stiffly in her undergarments. He tried not to focus on her waist as he lightly prodded her side, stopping when she let out a hiss of pain. “There,” he noted, squeezing the gel onto her skin and massaging it in. “That should help you sleep- had I remembered that from earlier, I wouldn’t have done this with you today.”

“S’ok,” she said, letting out a sigh of relief as he worked the substance into her skin, carefully working out the knots in her muscles. “How’d you learn how to do this, anyway?”

“As I said before, you’re not that much different from an asari.” She glared at him, but he just laughed, kneading her skin gently and making her give an involuntary moan of relief. “Some of us aren’t as closed-minded or squeamish when it comes to inter-species interactions, Ashley.”

“So,” she said carefully, “how does that work, anway?” When he stared at her, she huffed. “Not _that_ part, you pervert- I meant how do you turians handle things when you… blow off steam together?” Ash blew away a stray hair out of her face, then frowned. “Don’t people ever get _weird_ around each other?” 

He shook his head. “No- we mate for life, remember? Most of us aren’t looking to mate with someone we’re going into battle with, so the desire for such a thing isn’t there to begin with- it’s simply a release, nothing more.” A smile spread across his face as he finished his task, reaching over and handing her the discarded shirt. “It’s just more _satisfying_ than doing it yourself.” 

“Oh,” she said thoughtfully, pulling the shirt on over her head. “And no one minds? That’s normal?”

“Why, are you curious? Actually considering breaking your precious regulations to keep that temper of yours under control?” She blushed a furious shade of red, but he just smiled. “But to answer your question, yes, it’s perfectly acceptable. In fact, some squads advise their members to do so when fights get too heated- it tends to stop things from escalating.”

She started to ask another question, but let out a yawn instead. Realizing that it was late in the night cycle by this point, Nihlus stood up and stretched. “It’s late- you should get some sleep now.” As he walked over to the door, he paused, looking at the woman for a moment. “Do you feel any better?” 

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “It’s strange- I feel… more grounded, I guess- like a lot of the little shit that was poking at me is gone, you know?” 

“And that’s why we do it,” he replied, letting out a soft hum of satisfaction. “Contrary to what you may think, I want you to succeed, Ashley. So, I need you to promise me something- consider it a pact amongst new friends.” 

She smiled, sitting back on her bed. “What do you want… Nihlus?”

Letting his mandibles flutter with amusement, he crossed his arms. “Promise me that if it ever gets to be too much, you won’t take it out on the others- I don’t want to hear about that kind of behavior again. If you need to take it out on someone, you come see me- whatever you need, no questions asked.” 

“I… well, yeah, I could do that,” she said slowly, taking a deep breath. “But you never answered my question,” she remarked, her eyes scanning his face. “Why did you start calling me Ashley instead of Williams?”

“Because you looked like you needed a friend,” he answered honestly. “And truth be told, I don’t have all too many of those, either.” 


	33. Night Cycle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John recovers in the medbay; Jane has a nightmare and can't sleep

_ _

* * *

Jane was sitting in the mess hall, nursing a cup of tea. She’d tried to fall asleep hours ago, but the nightmares were so bad that she eventually gave up and left, choosing to let her husband rest for a few hours without her screaming her fool head off every time she closed her eyes. _Every time I see him in that bed, I start to remember,_ she thought with a shiver, clutching the mug in her hands. _It’s like I’m back on Akuze all over again._

But instead of losing herself to terror and panic, Jane forced herself to calm down, focusing on the warmth of the cup in her hands instead. _Johnny is fine,_ she reasoned, glancing over at the medbay doors. _Sol is with him… and she won’t let anything happen to him. It wasn’t as bad as what happened to you- the doc says he’ll be perfectly fine in a few days._

Mulling over the thoughts swirling in her head, Jane barely registered the footsteps plodding behind her. “Commander,” Alenko said sleepily, “I didn’t expect to see you down here this late.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” she admitted, holding up her cup of tea. “Lots on my mind.” She looked over at the cardboard man, surprised to see him showing those rare glimmers of a personality. “What’s got you up so late?” 

“Headache,” he admitted, reaching over to grab a mug from the shelf, filling it with water, and grabbing a teabag.”I find that tea helps- I’d rather do that instead of popping pills all the time.” 

Jane smiled, taking a sip of her beverage. “Can’t argue with that.” Figuring she should take advantage of the opportunity, she gestured to the seat across from her. “There’s space if you want to stay- don’t feel like you have to leave on my account.” 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Alenko replied, settling into the chair. “Nice to not drink alone for once.” 

She frowned, looking over at him. “You do this kind of thing often?”

Alenko smiled sheepishly, running a hand over his hair, still perfectly coiffed at this time of night. “Afraid so… perks of being an L2- great power, greater headaches. But,” he remarked as he took a sip of his tea, “it’s better than going absolutely insane from it- I’m lucky, I suppose.” 

“You people have strange ideas about luck,” Jane mused, bringing her cup to her lips. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand.”

“Yeah, well…” He smiled, and the gesture was surprisingly warm compared to what she was used to seeing on his stiff face. “When you’re given what most people think is a death sentence, you tend to be a bit more gracious about what you have.” 

Jane snorted. “I guess I can see that.” He laughed and she smiled, shaking her head slightly as they both sat in comfortable silence, lost in their thoughts. Finally, Jane looked over at the man across from her, resting her chin on her hand. “So, how are you doing, Alenko? I know we haven’t been out much together- I appreciate you keeping things moving around here, though.” 

He smiled, running his hands over his dark hair. “Nice of you to say, Commander.” Then his face fell a little and he sighed, looking down at the table. “Funny you should say that.”

“What?” Jane looked at him quizzically. “Out with it- what’s on your mind, Alenko?” 

Alenko sighed, rotating his cup nervously in his hands. “Heard a transmission today… there’s a situation between a group of L2’s and the chairman… they’re pissed about the reparations for L2’s… or the lack of it, I suppose.” 

She watched him closely, trying to see if there were any changes to his expression, but the only thing she could find was weariness. “You agree with it?” 

“I agree that something needs to be done, but I don’t think taking a hostage is the way to do anything about it,” he said bitterly. “That being said, I’m not holding my breath that the Alliance is going to do the best job of handling this type of situation.” 

Jane grunted in agreement as she started to take her cup to the sink, but before she could move, Alenko reached out and took it from her. Grinning, she settled back in her chair. “I’m a big girl, LT- I’m more than capable of doing my own dishes.”

“I’m sure you are,” he replied, his voice taking on a slightly teasing lilt. “But in this case, you don’t have to.” 

Sighing, Jane settled back in her chair, watching as he stood at the sink, rinsing out their cups. “Alenko, you’re an L2,” she said carefully, “If it were your call, what would you want to see happen?” 

“Negotiate,” he said quickly. “I know the policy isn’t to negotiate with terrorists, but…” Alenko sighed, leaning against the sink and staring at Jane for a moment before averting his gaze to the floor. “In this case, they’ve got a point,” he said softly. “They did this to these people, and sweeping it under the rug without listening to what they have to say....” The LT shook his head angrily, then glanced over at Jane. “It’s not _right_ \- they deserve justice, Commander. At the very least, they deserve to be heard.”

“I can see that… but who would they listen to?” Jane leaned forward in her seat, genuinely curious- she’d never seen the man actually sound passionate about anything before, and it made her pause and take notice. “From the way you’re acting, it doesn’t sound like it’s going all that well right now.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, then gave her a half-hearted smile. “You could probably set them straight, Commander.” 

Jane shook her head. “Doubtful- if you want motivation, I think you want Johnny, not me. Plus, he’s the biotic- wouldn’t it make more sense for him to do it? Or, what about you? You’d understand- you’d make more sense than I would, Alenko.” 

“With all due respect, I don’t think this is going to wait for your brother to recover, Commander. And I’m not a speaker- I know my limits.” When she frowned, he walked over and sat on the table in front of her. “Besides, not only are you a spectre… but you _understand_ ,” he said firmly, resting his hand on hers. “You know what it’s like- you’ve seen Shepard go through it. Knowing that you stood by him and never abandoned him, never looked at him differently…” His voice trailed off, then he gave her a soft smile. “Most of us L2’s don’t get that, Commander- sometimes just knowing someone cares regardless makes all the difference.” 

Jane carefully slid her hand away and looked at the lieutenant, trying to figure out what she should do. On the one hand, this was a delicate situation- though she was a spectre, she was not a negotiator. She hadn’t been lying when she said that this was more Johnny’s area of expertise. But on the other hand, Alenko wasn’t wrong- she knew that sometimes, the Alliance took a more ‘shoot first and file paperwork’ later type philosophy when it came to ‘handling’ their mistakes. “I might be able to hack into their systems,” she said slowly. “Maybe they might be willing to negotiate with us.” 

“If you could do that, then that just might work,” Alenko replied, his shoulders sagging with relief. “Thank you, Commander- I know you have more important things to do, but I just don’t think people should be left to their fates when we have a chance to save them.”

“Neither do I,” Jane agreed, smiling as she stood up from the table. “Talk to Joker and have him see if he can find out where they’re holed up- I’m going to see if I can break into their signal.” 

He nodded, then frowned. “Don’t you need to get some sleep, Commander?” 

Jane shrugged. “Eh, I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” she replied casually, stretching as she let out a yawn. “Besides, this is more important, right?”

“If you say so,” Alenko replied, his smile brighter than any she’d ever seen on his face before. “I’ll go talk to Joker right now.”

_ _

* * *

The monitor next to John’s bedside beeped softly, its soft rhythm making Sol’s head drop to the mattress. _I have no idea how late it is,_ she thought as she closed her eyes. She hadn’t left his side since he got into the tank- she’d been too scared of the poor man having a heart attack. Even though he’d finally fallen into a fitful sleep, she couldn’t bring herself to leave- after Chakwas had left, Tali had come in to bring her a dextro nutrient bar and a cup of kava, sitting with them and talking with her. Liara, spirits be praised, had gone into her room to take care of JC, and Jane had come by to check on them as well. She’d started to ask her sister about just what had happened to make him react so badly, but she stopped, thinking it best to just ask John about it when he came to. 

Just as she started to doze off, she felt a hand rest lightly on the back of her head. “Tiny,” John breathed, smiling sleepily at her as she raised her head to look at him, “you’re still here… you should be in bed.” 

“You asked me to stay, so I stayed,” she said lightly, resting her hand on his. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like shit,” he admitted, closing his eyes as he lightly squeezed her fingers. “But I’m a bit better knowing you’re here.” 

“Flatterer,” she said, feeling a blush creeping up the side of her neck. When he laughed weakly, Sol tried to stand up. “Um... you’re going to be out of commission for a few days,” she stammered, looking around the room. “You don’t have to stay in here, but the doctor wants you off duty until your back has a chance to heal.” 

“Ah,” he said thoughtfully, gingerly bringing a hand to his side and pouting when Sol swatted it away. “That explains why you guys have me propped on my side like a newborn.”

“It was the best we could do,” she admitted. “The medi-gel worked, but…” Sol swallowed, then looked away, only returning her eyes to his face when he lifted her hand to his lips. “Johnny, it was bad,” she admitted. “You were in bad shape when Gar brought you in.” 

“I remember the pain,” he replied, closing his eyes. “I also remember a beautiful woman running to my rescue… so at least it wasn’t all that bad.” 

Unable to answer, Sol just smiled at him- the need to tell him what happened, to ask him if he remembered what he’d said was so strong it made Sol’s heart hurt, but she had no desire to hear him say he didn’t remember, or worse, that he didn’t mean it. She supposed that he might lie to protect her feelings, but deep down, she knew that wasn’t true- John had never lied to her before, and she didn’t expect him to start now. So instead, she plastered a smile on her face, cursing the sadness that thrummed loudly through her sub-vocals and hoping he couldn’t tell how she felt- if she were human, she knew there would be tears in her eyes, and she’d never been happier to not be able to cry as they did. “It’s late,” she said finally, getting up from his bedside and staring at the ceiling. “I should let you get some rest- do you want me to help you to your room, or do you want to stay here for the night?” 

“I want to stay wherever you are,” he said quietly, not letting go of her hand. “Sorry, but I think you have to help me,” John said sheepishly, a sleepy smile creeping across his face. “I want to kiss you, but you’re really fucking tall, Tiny- mind coming a little closer and helping a guy out?” 

Despite her mood, Sol laughed and did as he asked, lowering her head and resting it against his. When her brow-plate connected with his head, John let out a soft sigh and brought his hand to her face, lightly guiding her mouth to his. “That’s better,” he murmured, his fingers trailing over her plates. “And now that I have you here,” John said, pressing his lips to hers, “how about you tell me what’s got you so sad, huh?” 

Sol’s eyes went wide, but John just chuckled. “C-Sec, remember? Pays to have turian partners, Tiny- I’ve learned a lot about what those rumbles of yours mean.”

She sighed, closing her eyes and letting out a hum when he pressed his lips to her brow. “We can talk about it later,” Sol whispered, trying to keep her voice steady. “You need to recover first,” she said brightly, pressing her lip plates to his and moving to stand. “It can wait.” 

Even coming down from the meds, John was no fool- the manic man from earlier was long gone, replaced with the serious-looking face of the man that she, spirits help her, loved. _I’ll wait,_ she thought, allowing herself to reach out and run her hands through his damp curls. _The truth can keep for another day._ “Sol,” John said warningly, “I’m in an assless gown, so I know you’ve seen everything I was born with by now- if anyone should be embarrassed or upset about anything, it should be me. And since I’m _not_ ,” he said firmly, his eyes roaming over her face, “I’m kinda scared about why my best friend looks like she wants to be anywhere but with me- did I do something wrong, Tiny?”

_If only,_ she thought, letting out a soft hum as she pressed her lips to his. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” Sol said quietly, running her hand through his hair and savoring the feeling of his damp strands under her fingertips. “I promise.” 

Sol could’ve sworn she saw his eyes widen a fraction, but it was gone before she could confirm it. “You never told me where you’re going to stay,” John said lightly, running his hand over her fingers. “I want to be where you are.”

“My bed is too small,” she said quietly, kissing his forehead and smiling as he closed his eyes. “I’ll hurt you if I get in bed with you like this.” 

“Then stay here,” he murmured, resting against the pillow. “Stay with me, Tiny.” 

She laughed, tracing her finger along his cheek. “Where would I sleep, Johnny?”

“Pull up a cot,” he replied, not opening his eyes as he gestured loosely around the room. “I seem to be the only dumbass in here at the moment, so…” 

Even though it was against her better judgment, Sol nodded and got up, pulling another cot to his and starting to wrap the privacy curtain around his bed. “Um,” he said casually, bringing his hand to his hair, lightly twirling a curl around his fingers, “do you mind waiting till you come back to shut that?”

Wincing, Sol nodded, leaving the curtain where it was as she moved to turn down the lights. When she came back, she started to pull them closed, paying attention to him the entire time. “Is this ok?”

“It’s fine with other people or if I can get up to move around,” he admitted. “But with my back like this…” He let his voice trail off, and Sol crept into the cot next to him, resting her hand on his bed. “Thanks for understanding.” 

“Always,” she answered honestly, feeling a slight pang of wistfulness when she realized just how true that was. “Now, I’ve done everything you asked,” she said lightly, running her hand over his arm. “You need to get some sleep, Johnny.”

“Sure,” he said, his features barely visible in the low light of the medbay. “I just have one last question, though.” 

Sol sighed, then rolled her eyes. “If I answer you, will you finally get some rest?”

“Scouts honor,” John said, rubbing her arm with his fingertips as he stared at her.

Sol narrowed her eyes. “I thought you were infantry, Jonathan Shepard,” she said cautiously, watching his expression. “Are you trying to con me?”

“Never,” he replied, chuckling as he brought her hand to his lips. “It’s a human expression from one of Janey’s old vids- people said it when they meant that they would tell the truth no matter what.” 

“Oh,” Sol replied, mollified for the time being. “Then I suppose… as long as you adhere to your scout’s honor.” 

“Gladly,” he replied, staring at Sol for a minute before closing his eyes- he never let go of her hand. He was quiet for so long that she thought he’d fallen asleep, but he opened his eyes and sighed. “Did you mean it?” 

Confused, Sol just stared at him. “Did I mean what, Johnny?” 

“I keep telling myself that turian’s don’t lie, but I also know you guys bend and twist the truth like pretzels, so I didn’t want to ask,” he said quietly, closing his eyes again. Sol didn’t know what a pretzel was, but it didn’t seem important so she kept quiet, waiting for him to finish. “So… I gotta know, Tiny- when you said it, did you mean it?” 

“When I said what?” She stared at him but he didn’t move, his form frozen to the bed. Curious, she moved closer, her eyes moving over his face. “What did I say, Johnny?” 

“That you loved me,” he whispered, his body still and his eyes pressed shut. “And if you ever could lie to me, please let this be the time to do it... because I guarantee the alternative is going to feel worse than that fucking creature spit.” 

“Even if I could, I’d never lie to you,” Sol whispered, carefully leaning over and pressing her brow to his. “I love you too much to lie to you, Johnny.” 

“That’s good,” he said, letting out a shaky exhale as he closed his eyes, tightly gripping her hand, “because I love you too, Tiny.” 


	34. Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane goes on a mission with Alenko while Johnny recovers

_ _

* * *

Sol was sitting next to Liara, spinning around in her chair and humming to herself. “Someone seems to be in a good mood,” the asari remarked, folding her hands and leaning against the desk. “I trust everything went well with John’s recovery?” 

“Yep,” she said brightly, letting out a happy chirp and coming to a stop when Chakwas gave her an amused look. “For now, everything is perfectly fine.” 

“Keelah, you didn’t think to come get me?” Tali’s voice shouted, startling the two women as she appeared in the doorway. Without another word, Tali flung her arms around Sol’s neck and Sol nuzzled her head against her friend. “So Johnny’s ok?”

Sol nodded, resting her head on Tali's shoulder. “He’s stiff and too stubborn to stay in bed like he should, but he’s going to be fine- I might need help keeping him from trying to follow Janey off the ship, but I’ll take him healthy and stubborn any day.” 

Tali lifted her head slightly, and Sol could tell that she was looking over at Liara. Frowning, Sol turned around to the asari, who was turning a deep shade of blue. “Liara,” Sol said carefully, “what was all that about?” 

“Nothing,” she said quickly, cutting her eyes to Tali and frowning. “ _So_ … did you guys get the chance to talk about things? You know, now that he’s better?”

“Yeah,” Tali said eagerly, shifting so she was between the two women. “Did you two guys talk at all when he woke up?” Her butt shifted some of Liara’s papers, but the scientist didn’t seem to care- she was too focused on Sol. _Liara is insane about her notes,_ Sol thought, narrowing her eyes at her friends. _She should be threatening to flay Tali right about now- something is up._

“His recovery was more important,” Sol said stiffly, trying to figure out what the two women were getting at. “I figured we could talk later.”

Liara sighed, then looked at her hands. “I had hoped your exuberance meant that you two had discussed his professions of affection.” 

“You big _bosh’tet_ ,” Tali hissed, slapping Liara on the arm. “You weren’t supposed to tell her that you heard that!” 

“You heard what?” Sol squawked, her eyes going wide. “ _Liara!_ Were you hiding in this room the whole time?” 

“It wasn’t like he was quiet, dear,” Chakwas remarked, making Tali snicker. “I’d be surprised if there was a person on this ship that didn’t hear him saying how much he loved you.” 

At that moment, Sol wondered if it would be possible for her to sink into the floor and die. “I dislike you all,” she said, glaring at her friends and letting out a sad hum. “There is _no_ reason for you to be mean about this.”

Chakwas walked over, giving the turian a hug around the shoulders. “It’s only mean if it didn’t turn out well,” she said kindly. “But judging by the way you’ve been bouncing around here all morning, I’d say things turned out fine. Also, don’t forget that I’m the first one in this room in the mornings, dear- seeing the two of you on those cots pretty much summed it up for me.”

Tali grasped her hands together and squealed with delight. “Oh! He _did_ mean it!” She turned to Liara, for a moment, then turned back to Sol. “Wait, which part did he mean? The ‘I love you part’, the ‘mate’ part, or… _both?_ ” 

Realizing that all the women in the room were now hanging on her every word, Sol lowered her head and tried to fight the flush in her neck- she was sure it had to be almost as blue as Liara at this point. “He asked if I meant it when I told him I loved him.”

Liara practically shot out of her seat, placing her hands on Sol’s legs. “ _And?_ What did you say? Did you mean it?” She gushed, turning to Tali and Chakwas. “I so hoped they meant it- it was so romantic!” 

“Romance usually doesn’t happen in a tank full of medi-gel,” Chakwas replied, leaning against the doorframe. “But then again, this whole ship is living proof that stranger things have happened, so I’m inclined to reserve judgment.” Her eyes sparkled with interest, and when Sol remained quiet, the woman leaned over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Well? You’ve got me invested now- inquiring old minds want to know.” 

Laughing, Sol shook her head. “I told him yes-” she didn’t get any further than that, because a collective cheer rose up from the three women- Sol stared at them in shock. “Is it really that surprising?”

“Pay up,” Tali told Chakwas happily, extending her hand. “I told you she’d fess up! Sol is a big armor-plated kitten… she's just like JC, but spikier- I _knew_ she couldn’t keep that inside.” 

“Not so fast,” Chakwas replied, turning back to Sol. “Does he know that he said it first?”

“And did he mean it as well?” Liara asked, her face eagerly awaiting Sol’s answer. “I bet that he did!” 

“Why are you guys betting on my love life?” Sol huffed, crossing her arms and glaring at her friends. “I’m quite sure you all have better things to do?”

“We really don’t,” Chakwas said helpfully, earning a snort from Tali. “However, I have a nice chunk of credits riding on this answer, so I’m quite eager to know the outcome.” 

Sol smiled, looking down at her hands. “He did,” she admitted, unable to hide the smile from her face. “He told me he loved me.” 

Chakwas just laughed, placing a kiss on her forehead. “I’ve never been so pleased to lose credits to Tali,” she whispered, squeezing her shoulders. “I’m happy for you.” 

“So are we,” Liara said softly. “I’m sorry to have intruded on such a private moment, but it warms my heart to know that you and John will know happiness together.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head. “May the goddess bless your upcoming union.” 

“I don’t know if it’s getting that far,” Sol said quietly. “He’s human, remember? I mean, he tried once with Ash- who’s to say he won’t fall out of love with me?” 

“You are _not_ Ash,” Chakwas said firmly, resting her hands on her shoulders. “What you and John have is completely separate- you need to trust in that.” 

“I do, but… I just don’t want to put that kind of pressure on him,” she said sadly. “I know Janey and Gar did it, but who’s to say he wants that kind of thing?” 

“I saw the way he looked at you,” Liara said, her voice soft yet steady as she took Sol’s hand. “I did not see inside his mind, but I could tell that he cares for you more than he has the words to say- I think you may be worried for nothing, dear friend.” 

“I certainly hope you’re right,” Sol said with a sigh, letting out a nervous little hum. “But it looks like we’ll just have to see.”  


_ _

* * *

“I don’t like this,” John muttered, looking over at Alenko suiting up. “Just you and the plank, sis? Why not either of the tall, dark, and spiky bros or the battle turtle? At least I know these guys can shoot… or eat anything that looks at you cross-eyed.” 

John was stiff and sore, but he’d refused to stay in bed when he heard what was going on, threatening to levitate himself downstairs if no one helped him. He wasn’t sure if he could do it, but he’d been damn sure ready to try. Garrus had been quite happy to help him get to Jane, no doubt hoping he could talk some sense into his foolish sister. “I’d feel better if you took anyone else along with you, Jane Brain- this kind of thing could be dangerous.” He frowned, looking over at Garrus. “And you can’t _possibly_ tell me that you’re ok with this.” 

“Not even remotely,” Garrus replied darkly, glaring at the lieutenant. “You need someone at your back in case this goes sideways, Jane.”

“We’ve been over this,” Jane said irritably. “It’s a negotiation, not a firefight- if I show up in there with a massive squad, that hostage is gonna be dead before we hit the docking bay. And the only reason Alenko is going is that he’s an L2- it was the only reason the man agreed to meet with me in the first place.” She frowned, then crossed her arms. “Trust me, this is more your skillset than mine, Johnny- if you were well, I would’ve sent you in instead.”

John sighed. “I get that, but…” His voice trailed off and he sighed, looking over at his sister. “I’m just worried- I don’t like the idea of you going out there without family, Janey.” 

His sister just smiled, placing her hands on her hips. “So you _do_ give a shit about me, huh?” 

“Well, yeah,” John answered, shrugging and ignoring the chuckle from the turian next to him. “You’re my little sister- it’s my job to look out for you. Besides,” he said, smirking over at Garrus before the mood got too serious, “your track record is a mess, Jane.” His sister scoffed, but he just laughed. “What? The last few times I let you out of my sight, you almost died, came home with this bastard, or got blasted with a freaky mind beam- face it, sis, you’re hopeless without me.” 

“Whatever,” Jane replied, rolling her eyes and placing a kiss on his cheek. “Fine- you two worrywarts can stay on comms and be my second set of ears.” She turned to Garrus, who gave a worried-sounding rumble- she just stroked his face. “You still got my six, big guy- I just need you to do it from here.” When her husband nodded, she pressed a kiss to his head and turned to Alenko, who was waiting by the door. “See you guys in a bit.”

As she walked away, John couldn’t help but notice the way the lieutenant’s face went from creased to excited as Jane made her way over, his hand hovering dangerously close to her shoulder. “Garrus,” John muttered as he watched them walk away, “just how fast can you get over there if something goes down?”

“As fast as she needs me to,” he growled, letting the angry-sounding rumble fill the air- _he must’ve seen what I did_ , John thought irritably. “I know you’re always saying I’m paranoid, but something isn’t right, John- I don’t trust him.”

“Glad it’s not just me,” John replied, leaning on the turian as they made their way to the cockpit. “Because I sure as hell don’t.”

Garrus paused, looking over at him. “What do you know, Shepard?” 

“It’s…” he sighed, pausing to catch his breath- the toxin had made his lungs burn like paper, and he often felt like he was breathing through cotton. While Chakwas had assured him this would get better over the next few days, it still irritated him to find himself winded after walking just a few feet. “It’s the way he looks at you, honestly- like…” John paused, trying to find the right words as his friend helped him into the elevator. “It’s like he hates that you’re here, man.”

“Interesting,” Garrus replied, looking over at him as the car started moving. “What makes you say that?”

John squirmed, trying to find a comfortable position to stand in. “At first, I thought he was just a racist prick,” he admitted. “But then I notice him around everyone else and he’s fine… even Kryik... it’s just you, Vakarian- it’s like he just wants you out of the way or something.” 

“So you’ve noticed it too,” Garrus murmured, his sub-vocals rumbling when John nodded in affirmation. “Keep an eye on him,” the turian said tersely, flexing his fingers as they stepped out the door. “I don’t like it- have you noticed that the only time he talks to Jane is when we aren’t around?”

“Yep,” John replied, wincing as the pain in his back moved from nagging to insistent. “So tag Sol, Kryik, and Wrex,” he said, reaching in his pocket and popping the pills Chakwas had given him into his mouth. “He’s good, but he can’t fool all of us- that bastard is bound to slip up sometime.”   


_ _

* * *

“You ok, there?” Joker asked, looking over and eyeing Garrus carefully. The turian was focused on the window, staring at the docking bay as if he fully intended to leap through the glass at a moment’s notice. “I like you and all, but I kind of like the idea of having an intact ship more.” 

“I’d watch it if I were you,” John replied casually, trying not to look like he was keeping an eye on his friend. “He’s in a bit of a mood today.”

 _I don’t know what you’re going to do if the dino chicken goes apeshit,_ Joker thought, watching as John shifted uncomfortably in his chair. _You look like you’re in worse shape than me._ “On the bright side, since Alenko has such a goddamn crush on Janey, you know he won’t let anything happen to her.” 

Judging by the growl that ripped through the air, this was the exact _wrong_ thing to say. “I don’t want that man anywhere _near_ my mate,” he snarled. “Joker, you need to get those comms turned on right now because I am not moving a _spirits-damned inch_ until I know what’s going on with my mate!”

Joker flipped a switch, then put up both of his hands in apology. “All right! No need to bite my head off- you got audio now, see?” The pilot shook his head as the voices of Janey and Alenko filled the room. “I can’t believe you got Tali to broadcast the comms in here- was it really that serious?”

“Yes,” they both said in unison.

Garrus turned back to the window, but John looked over at him and sighed. “You can’t tell me that Planko doesn’t rub you wrong?” He frowned, then let out a huff as they heard Jane talking to the man. “He’s up to something… I know he is.” 

“He’s intense, but so is this dude over here and I don’t see you calling for his head every fifteen minutes,” Joker snapped back. “Alenko isn’t a bad guy, John- he just doesn’t trust the big guy… that’s all.” 

“I trust _Garrus_ with my life,” John said firmly. “Alenko…there’s something about him that makes me nervous, guys- I never get the sense that I’m seeing the real him. It’s always like… like he’s showing you just what you want to see.” 

“He’s not good around people...especially turians,” Joker admitted, looking apologetically at Garrus. “He hasn’t had the best luck with them in the past.” 

John raised an eyebrow, then shifted in his seat. “Spill it, old woman- what exactly do you know?” 

_I don’t know if I’m supposed to share this,_ Joker thought as he tapped the console, glancing over at his friend. _But if it keeps everyone from sniping at each other…_ “You know he’s an L2, right?” John nodded and Garrus growled, so Joker took a deep breath and continued. “So… from what he told me, he was one of the first few sets of biotics with real power- when they found him and noticed that he wasn’t just a spoon-bender, they shipped him off to brain camp.”

“I heard of that,” John replied, turning to look at him- Garrus did not take his eyes off the window. “Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training- out in Jump Zero, right?” When Joker nodded, John shivered. “Fuck… that’s rough- the stories about that place made me glad I didn’t find my abilities until later.” 

“If what he says is true, then you better thank your lucky stars you didn’t go,” Joker said darkly. “Turns out there was a girl there he liked… who got her arm broken by a turian instructor.” John’s eyes widened a little and the pilot nodded. “Jumped in to save her and ended up killing the guy.” 

“And this is supposed to make me feel better?” Garrus asked, finally shifting to look at the pilot. “So not only is the idiot infatuated with my mate, he’s got a hero complex as well?” 

“I’m not saying it was the best story,” Joker said pointedly. “I’m just saying that he’s got some reasons to be skeptical of turians when they’re hanging around humans.” Garrus started to rumble, so Joker cut him off. “Now do I agree? Hell no- I know you’d murder anything and everything in your path that looked at Janey cross-eyed. But _he_ doesn’t know that, because you two jackwads are too busy dick-waving to take your heads out of your asses and just talk to the guy!” 

“We are _not_ dick-waving,” John said huffily, crossing his arms. “I’m looking out for my sister… that’s all.”

Joker’s jaw dropped with shock. “Are you fucking _kidding_ me?” He pointed furiously at Garrus, who had turned back to the window by this point. “He _literally_ waved his dick at him, Johnny- you know this!” 

“ _Technically_ , I was sheathed,” Garrus remarked, not even looking at them. “But in my defense, he came into my room and tried to barge in on me and my mate.” 

“Look,” Joker said wearily, rubbing his face with his hand- talking to these two was like talking to a brick wall. “I’m not saying you’re wrong- I mean, you have been playing detective these last few years, so maybe you’ve learned a thing or two. But what I _am_ asking you to do is just talk to the man instead of doing that evil eye thing you do.” He leaned over and mimicked his friend’s face, making the man next to him chuckle. “If you’re right, I’ll stand behind you. But can you at least fucking try to get to know him instead of acting all creepy and hovering over your sister like she’s a goddamn piece of meat?”

“Fine,” John mumbled, crossing his arms and settling into the seat. “You up for a stakeout, Vakarian?” 

“Only if you’re not making the kava,” Garrus replied, earning himself a punch in the arm from John.


	35. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane comes back from her mission with Alenko; Sol gets some help making dinner for John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: suggestive content in Nihlus's section

_ _

* * *

Jane took a sip of water and leaned against her husband, feeling relieved to be back on the Normandy. “I don’t know how you do it,” she told John, who was sitting in the chair and trying to look like he wasn’t in excruciating amounts of pain. “Every time I opened my mouth, all I could think was ‘yep, that’s going to be the thing that makes that other guy stop listening and start shooting’. I’ve decided- I think I like being the strong, silent type of leader instead.” 

Garrus just laughed, placing a kiss on her head as he got to his feet. “I had no doubts in your ability to handle the situation,” he replied proudly, making his way over to the cabinets and pulling out a dextro chocolate bar for himself. Staring at the bar, he let out a sad little sigh. “Think we can get some more of these when we resupply, Jane? There are only two of these delicious little things left, and I don’t think you took into account the love that Tali and Sol have for chocolate when you stocked up initially, dear.”

“Chocolates, huh?” John leaned back in the chair, putting his hands behind his head. “Toss me one of those- might come in handy in case I need to offer Tiny a peace offering.” 

“I thought you couldn’t eat chocolate,” a voice said from the doorway. “Isn’t that levo food?”

Garrus sat down next to her, carefully watching Alenko as he made his way into the room. He looked like he wanted to tell the man to buzz off, but he just sighed instead. “I can’t eat their chocolate,” he said patiently, “but dextro chocolate is delicious… when my sister stops eating it all.” 

Jane leaned over and took a sniff, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh. “It smells like chocolate, too,” she remarked, leaning her head over and preparing to take a bite- Garrus snatched it out of her grasp and playfully nipped at her wrist instead. “Meanie,” she pouted, sticking out her bottom lip at him. “I only wanted a bite.”

“And I don’t want my mate getting sick,” he chided, tapping her on the nose. “There is no rule on the ship that there has to be a Shepard in the medbay at all times.” 

“And this one is not trying to head back in there any time soon,” John agreed. When Alenko laughed, her brother plastered his professional smile on his face. “What brings you down to slum it with the dregs of the crew, lieutenant?”

Alenko smiled as he headed over to the snack drawer, rummaging around for a bit before shoving a few protein bars in his pockets. “I’d hardly call the hero of the Skyllian Blitz the dregs of the crew, Shepard- besides, I just came to get a bite to eat… and congratulate the commander on a job well done today.”

Jane was about to address the slight to Garrus, but she felt her husband’s hand grip her thigh under the table- instead, she just plastered a smile on her face. “You helped, Alenko- thanks for vouching for me.” She looked down, trying to calm her breathing before glancing back up at him. “I think it made a big difference.” 

“All I did was follow your lead,” he said with a smile. He started to touch her shoulder, but the low rumble coming from Garrus’s throat made him pause- Jane thought she saw him scowl at Garrus, but if he did, it was gone in seconds. “We made a good team out there, Commander- we should do it again.”

The rumble coming from Garrus was almost loud enough to rattle her bottle of water. “I’d prefer if you didn’t,” he said tersely, looking the lieutenant up and down. “She’s got a very good team that’s happy to help her out there.” 

“Not saying she doesn’t,” Alenko replied mildly, giving Jane a beaming smile. “Just saying that it’s an honor to serve at the side of the woman who saved my life- you don’t get to do something like that too often.” Then he gestured to John, whose face was fixed in a permanent state of mild interest. “And since our other favorite Shepard is out of commission because he saved the chief, I’m starting to wonder if heroics are just a part of your DNA.”

John shrugged casually, then grinned at Jane. “If it is, she gets it from me.” When Jane shot him an evil look, John just leaned over and pinched her cheek, causing the other two men to chuckle. “At any rate, sis, do you and el Spiky mind helping me back to the medbay? I’ve been gone all day and I’m pretty sure Tiny is gonna have my head if she doesn’t get the chance to look me over.”

Garrus nodded. “Can’t have that, now can we?” He got up from his seat and walked over to John, gently lifting the man out of his chair. “Want me to grab you one of your nasty little bars to take with you?”

“I’ll get it,” Alenko said quickly, heading back over to the cabinets. “Here… a strawberry crunch.” He grinned, then handed it to John. “I was hiding that in the bottom of the bin, but I figured you probably needed it more than me.” 

To anyone else, John’s smile would’ve appeared genuine- to Jane (and probably Sol and Garrus) it was a little too straight and bright for it to be sincere. “Appreciate it,” he replied as he opened the bar, taking a bite. “Never one to turn down a protein bar that doesn’t taste like ass and sawdust.” 

Jane just shook her head, refusing to give her brother the satisfaction of a reaction. “And that’s our cue,” she said lightly, hooking her arm around his waist while Garrus walked behind them. “Enjoy your evening, Alenko.” 

“You too,” he replied, settling down at the table with a datapad and his snack. “See you in the morning.” 

“Spirits, I hope not,” Garrus grumbled as they slowly trudged down the hall. “That man makes my plates itch, Jane.” 

“That’s because you’re a jealous and territorial turian,” she teased, helping John onto the cot. 

When she heard them approach, Sol got up from her desk and walked over to John, her mandibles pressed to her face as she peered over the groaning man. “Look at you! This is why you weren’t supposed to be on duty, Johnny!” 

“But I wasn’t,” he pouted, looking like a roguish little boy as he took her hands in his. “I didn’t do anything strenuous- your brother can vouch for me.” 

Garrus tried to look away, but Jane poked him in the waist. “He’s right,” the turian said begrudgingly. “He just sat in the cockpit with me and Joker- the moron is probably just stiff from sitting up so long.” 

“See? Told you, I wasn’t going to disobey your orders, Tiny.” Sol huffed, but John pulled her closer to him, pressing his forehead to hers with a beaming grin on his face. _Now that’s a real smile,_ Jane mused as she looked over at the two of them. Her brother’s eyes were locked on the woman in front of him, and there was no hesitation whatsoever in his smile. _He loves her_ , she thought with a smile, looping her arm around the waist of her husband. 

“Is that how we looked when we were dating?” Jane whispered, knowing that Garrus would have no trouble hearing her. “For all they care, we could be on a different planet right now,” she teased, ignoring the eye roll and hum from her favorite turian. “Come to think of it, I’m trying to remember if you ever looked at me like that.”

“I still do,” Garrus replied, pulling her close and pressing his lips to hers, his sub-vocals rumbling over her with every word. “Every single day.” 

_ _

* * *

Despite his insistence that he was fine, John was confined to bed rest for the remainder of the evening, complete with the threat of sedation by Chakwas if he moved an inch from his cot. The doctor also made it a point to threaten Garrus that if he aided and abetted his friend in any escape attempts, she would make certain to make his life a living hell. Sol, not wanting to go against her superior’s orders, just laughed and kissed John on the cheek, telling him that she’d go find him something to eat. 

Now, she was in the mess hall, looking through the cabinets with utter confusion. Spirits, there are so many options, she thought anxiously, letting out a hum of nervousness as she scanned the rows upon rows of items. W _hat am I supposed to make for dinner? What if you can’t eat a certain thing at a certain time of day? I know I can make coffee, and I know which bars he likes, but… s_ he lowered her head, then tapped her foot with frustration. _This should not be so hard!_

“You look lost in thought,” a voice said from behind her, almost making her jump out of her plates. “Do you need help with something?” 

“Um,” Sol replied, not knowing how to broach the topic of John without sending the woman in front of her into a nuclear tailspin. “Hi, Williams… uh, I’m just…” She turned around to look at the cabinet again, then sighed, letting her shoulders slump forward. “Screwing up,” she admitted, letting out a dejected chirp. “I should have let Jane do this.” 

Ashley walked over to the cabinet, then gave the turian a shaky smile. “Um… you’re not Alliance,” she said quietly as she opened the door. “So, uh, you can call me Ash… if you want.” 

Surprised, Sol looked up- she still wasn’t used to civility from the woman, but she definitely wasn’t going to turn down a chance to ease some of the tension that seemed to radiate from Ashley. “Everyone calls me Sol,” she replied, extending her hand to her. “Pleased to meet you, Ash.” 

Ash looked at her strangely, but she took her hand. “You’ve met me before, Sol.” 

Sol shrugged. “But that was when everyone was being angry- I figured we should start over, so re-introducing ourselves seemed like a good place to start.” 

“You… have a point,” she replied, shaking her head. “So… Sol… why are you hanging around the levo stuff- you can’t eat it, right?” 

She shook her head. “It’s not for me, it’s for…” Wincing at what was about to come out of her mouth, she let out a tiny groan. “Sorry… I wasn’t trying to be mean, I promise.” 

“You can say his name,” Ash said softly, reaching in the cabinet and pulling out a can. “Johnny liked this kind of soup- said it was the least crappy choice out of the crap we always got saddled with on duty.” She handed it to Sol, then blew out a deep breath. “Best choice we got at the moment, anyway.” 

Sol stared at the can, then felt her neck flush as she sat it down. “I… don’t know how to cook this,” she admitted. “Janey and Gar have only taught me how to make a few levo things so far… I don’t want to mess this up.”

Ash paused for a moment, then bit her lip. “It’s not hard,” she said, her voice shaky. “I can show you… if you want.” 

Sol looked at Ashley, noticing her tight fists and her stiff posture. “Ash, you don’t have to do this,” she said quietly. “I know this has to be difficult for you… and I don’t want to make this harder on you, really.” 

“No, I _need_ to do this,” she said firmly, leaning on the counter. “We’re… starting over, remember? Someone told me I have to start working toward the future I want,” she mumbled, gripping the can in her hand. “And I want a life where people don’t automatically assume I’m the crazy bitch that’s going to fly off the handle at every little thing.” She looked up at Sol, her eyes pleading. “Let me help,” she whispered. “I want to try and be the good guy for once.” 

“Okay,” Sol said, letting out a soft chirp. “But I don’t want you to just do it for me- I want you to show me how to do it, so I don’t have to bother anyone in the future… and then maybe I can ask you to help me with something else?”  
  
“Cooking with Ashley, huh? Never thought I’d see the day that would happen,” the soldier replied, letting out a chuckle. “You’ve got a deal, Sol- under one condition.” 

Her words instantly sent her nerves on edge, but Sol was unwilling to break the strange truce they had going. Pausing for a moment, Sol cocked her head. “Name your terms, Ash.”

The woman looked down, twisting the hem of her shirt in her hands. “Um… I’d like to play with your kitten again sometime... if you don’t mind, that is. He… reminds me of a cat my sisters and I used to have- honestly, it’s kind of nice to be around a pet again.” 

Sol smiled, a happy chirp escaping before she could stop it. “You have yourself a deal, Ash, but truth be told, I feel kind of bad- I feel like I’m taking advantage.” 

She shook her head, pulling out a pot and setting it on the burner. “You’re really not,” she replied as she opened the can and dumped the contents inside. “See how high I have this?” Sol nodded, and Ash grinned. “That’s all you have to do- now we just wait until it starts bubbling.”

“Are you sure?” Sol peered warily into the pot, trying not to gag at the smell of the thick red sludge. “That’s a meal for you guys?”

Ash just shrugged. “We usually eat it with a grilled cheese sandwich, but… yeah- tomato soup in a can- you’re supposed to add water to it, but he’s not a fan.” She shook her head, chuckling to herself. “Said it tasted like tomato juice when I added it.” 

“I have no idea what that is, so I’ll take your word for it,” Sol replied with a smile. When her stomach started to rumble, she dug in the dextro drawer, hoping to snag a chocolate bar- to her dismay, there were none left. “I guess I should make my own meal, so if you want to take that to him-”

“No,” Ash said quickly, her voice so sharp it made Sol look at her with confusion. “Sorry… I just… I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”

Without thinking, Sol rested her hand on her shoulder. “It’s ok,” she replied, quickly removing her hand from the woman. “It’s an awkward situation- no one’s really ready for it.” Hoping to ease some of the tension, Sol shrugged. “As it stands, I’m happy to be your test pig - we can let JC oversee our experiments.” 

Ash let out a giggle, the light sound surprising the turian. “I’m pretty sure you mean guinea pig, Sol… but thanks. I appreciate it,” she admitted, running her hand over her dark ponytail. Suddenly, she bit her lip, pausing before she spoke again. “Not that I’m not incredibly grateful for you not trying to bite my head off, but…” 

Sol nodded as she poured the now-bubbling soup into a bowl. “But why am I not mad at you?” When Ash nodded, Sol just smiled. “There’s no reason to be- as long as you’re not hurting me or Johnny, I’m ok. I know this situation is painful- spirits know that if I were in your shoes, I’d be keening my fool head off at random intervals. So, as long as you’re willing to be civil, I’m willing to listen- being at each other’s throats serves neither of us, right?”

“Uh, right… I guess.” Ash just stared at her for a moment, then shook her head. “Is this whole being super-chill about everything until you decide to murder anything that looks at you funny deal a turian thing? Because at first, I thought it was just Nihlus… but now you’re doing it too.” 

Sol just smiled as she turned to leave the mess hall, bowl and spoon in hand. “Maybe it is,” she said thoughtfully. “I suppose we’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

_ _

* * *

Nihlus was walking out of his room when he saw Williams walk into the mess hall with Solana. Curious (and a little nervous), he stood at the end of the hallway, silently listening to the conversation. Others had told him that this was a rude habit of his, but he’d found more often than not, information overrode politeness- it tended to be worth more. 

To his surprise, he noted that the two women were engaged in a civil discussion- if he didn’t know the history between them, he’d almost call it friendly. _Solana has a high amount of self-control,_ he thought approvingly. _I only hope Williams can gain even a modicum of it one day._

When he saw the turian leave the room with a dish in her hand, Nihlus made his way into the mess hall, cocking his head when he saw Ashley standing at the counter with her head lowered. “Are you all right, Ashley?” 

Raising her head, Ashley wiped her eyes and blew out a breath so forceful it ruffled her hair. “Sneaky Nihlus,” Ashley replied, her voice wobbly as she smiled shakily at him. “How long you been here?”

“Long enough,” he admitted, feeling a flush creep up the sides of his neck at being called out for his behavior. “Just wanted to see if you were ok.” 

“That’s actually kind of sweet, in a stalker-ish way,” Ash replied, tilting her face up to the ceiling. “Thanks, Nihlus.” 

If this had been Jane, Nihlus would have reached over and hugged her- they probably would have laughed about the situation, grabbed something to drink, and talked about whatever was on their minds right then. But, Ashley wasn’t Jane- though the commander was prickly, she always made sure that Nihlus knew that she cared for him. His friendship with Ashley, however, was fresh and raw- he didn’t know where he stood, what was acceptable, or what would make her uncomfortable. So, out of options and not liking being in uncertain territory, Nihlus did what he always did in situations like this- he told the truth. 

“I don’t know how to help you,” he said honestly. “I don’t know if you want physical comfort, emotional comfort, space... “ the turian shrugged helplessly, leaning against the counter next to her. “So, I’m here for whatever you need… but you should know I’m proud of you- you did well back there.” 

Ash smiled softly, then leaned against his shoulder. “Is this ok? Or should I not be angling for hugs from my CO? I’m still trying to learn these rules of yours, Nihlus.” 

“Hugs are fine…just as long as you don’t try to give me one on the battlefield.” He laughed, amused by her openness and the lack of hostility. “You know, you’re actually not that bad when you aren’t raving around here like a lunatic, Ashley.”  
  
Rolling her eyes, Ash poked him in the waist, making him close his eyes and collect his thoughts. “I thought we were trying to be nice to each other?” 

“This is me being nice to you,” Nihlus retorted, tapping her on the nose before wrapping his arm around her. “Do you think I let everyone come up and hug me?” 

“That was a lean,” Ash insisted, then wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. “ _This_ is a hug.” She stayed there for a few seconds, and he could hear the thump of her heart beating against his plates. “Thanks… thanks for being there.” 

“I told you,” he replied, letting his arm rest on her back, “I’d like to try to be your friend, Ashley- you don’t have to thank me for something like that.” 

“Not used to that,” she admitted, glancing up at him for a moment. “It’s just hard,” she said softly, twisting her hands together. “I feel like I’m ready to snap or scream, but… I don’t want people to look at me like that anymore- I’m tired of being the bad guy, Nihlus.” 

“Finally... an appropriate response,” Nihlus said quietly, lightly poking her in the side. However, Ash still hadn’t moved- her arms were still wrapped around him and her head was resting lightly against the side of his chest. “What do you need?” 

She paused, then tapped her fingers against his chest plates. “Do turians hook up with their direct reports?” 

Nihlus nodded. “No one cares- as long as you can do your job, what difference does it make?” Taking a minute to process what she’d said, Nihlus widened his eyes a fraction. “Wait...what are you asking, Ashley?” 

She scowled, then let out an irritated groan. “Are you really going to make me spell this out for you?” 

“You’re damned right I am,” he replied, looking down at her and trying to determine if she had lost her mind. “Because it sounds like you’re saying words that I never thought would come out of your mouth while you were sober.” He leaned over, taking a deep inhale. “Yeah, still sober… so I’m wondering where this is going, Ashley.” 

“Geez, never mind,” she muttered, trying to untangle herself from him as her face flushed red. “I’m sorry the idea is that fucking terrible to you.” 

Nihlus rolled his eyes and pressed his arm on her shoulder, stopping her from moving. “I didn’t make a decision one way or the other, did I?” When she just glared, he sighed. “If a sexual release is what you’re looking for, not being able to talk to me about it isn’t exactly boding all that well for you, is it?” 

“You don’t have to make this difficult,” she huffed, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s like… a friends with benefits situation- just sex, that’s all.” 

“That’s better,” Nihlus replied, looking over at her. “Now that you mention it, I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea," he mused. "It’s been far longer than I would’ve liked, and as I said before, your species is remarkably similar to the asari- knowing that other pairings are perfectly successful, this should be fine.”

“You make it sound so clinical,” she retorted, glaring at him. “I thought this was supposed to be fun for you guys- you make it sound like a goddamn torture session.”  
  
“To the contrary,” Nihlus replied, gently guiding her out of the mess hall and toward her room. “I assure you, sex with me is not torture…but I hear stopping is.” 

Her eyes went wide as she gaped at him- Nihlus thought about remaining serious but decided against it, playfully flicking his mandibles at her instead. “You’re a dick, Kryik.” 

“I’ve been told that, yes,” he mused, standing at the doorway and waiting for her to go inside first. When she looked over her shoulder at him, he followed. “I just want to make this clear, Ash- I like you as a friend, but at the end of the day, I am in charge. Whatever we do or do not choose to do will not affect that in any way- is that clear?”

“I wouldn’t expect it to,” she replied. “You don’t let me get away with anything now- honestly, I think you’d be worse afterward just to prove a point.” 

“Correct,” Nihlus said, nodding as he moved to stand across the room. “Also, this needs to be clearly stated- I do not want a relationship with you.” She blinked, but he continued anyway. “If another opportunity presents itself, however unlikely, I owe you no explanations or reasons for my behavior. While you are my friend, you are not my mate, Ashley- I need you to understand that.”

She sighed, crossing her legs and hugging her knees before looking up at him. “Guess I deserve that, huh?” 

“You do,” he agreed. “Your track record leaves a bit to be desired- I also have no interest in you fighting with everyone about some perceived slight that doesn’t exist.” 

“Way to set the mood,” Ash retorted, tossing a pillow at him. He dodged it easily, then grinned at her as he tossed it back. “I get it- we do have a concept like this, you know. Whenever one person feels the need to... ” she made air quotes with her fingers- “blow off steam, they call the other up, no questions asked. Everyone knows what it is, we all go home happy.” Thinking about what she said, she smiled, then looked him up and down. “Well, hopefully.” 

“Don’t test me,” he purred, crossing his arms. “I think if you tried this, you’d be more than pleased, Ashley- it’s my favorite method of stress-relief for a reason.” 

“All I’m hearing is a lot of talk,” Ash shot back, standing up from her place on the bed and leaning against the wall in front of him. “Put your money where your mouth is, Nihlus.” 

“Then I guess that depends,” he replied, getting up and placing his arms above her head, leaning down so he could whisper in her ear, “on just where you want my mouth to go.” 


	36. It's just business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Nihlus blow off steam together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, being forewarned... there is like NO plot in here that you cannot pick up from the previous chapter and this would fall under the NSFW content umbrella. If Ash and Nih isn't your thing, feel free to tune back in tomorrow for actual plot!
> 
> That being said...in the words of the late and great Marvin Gaye... let's get it on :)

_ _

* * *

As Ashley taunted him, Nihlus strode across the room and stood over her, leaning her against the wall. _She can still stop this,_ he thought as he teased her back, making sure to let his sub-vocals roll over her as he leaned next to her ear. However, he couldn’t help but notice the unmistakable scent of arousal creeping toward his nostrils as she closed her eyes, running her hands along his sides and gripping at his waist. 

Nihlus let out a gasp and went stock-still, trying to keep his composure. “If you don’t want this,” he hissed, trying not to focus on the sensation of his plates starting to spread, “then I’m going to need you to remove your hands, Ash.” 

“So it’s Ash now?” She smiled, then slid her hands up his sides, her fingers tracing over the lines of his plates through his shirt. “Is teasing you a little all it takes to get you to loosen up?” 

The smell of her was dizzying- against his better judgment, he flicked out his tongue and dragged it across her neck, tasting the salt on her skin and feeling her pulse beating in his mouth. _It’s been way too long,_ he thought as he tried not to think about how her scent was growing stronger by the minute. _I’m acting like an idiotic fledgling here._ “You have to tell me what you want,” Nihlus said, pressing his hands into the wall. “In turian culture, women control the situation, and if we do this it would be no different.” He leaned down and cupped her chin in his hand- there was no doubt she was interested, but he needed her to be sure. “This is for you, Ash- I’m here to give you whatever you need.” 

“Really?” She stared at him, her eyes hard and unflinching. “You mean that?”

He nodded. “Everything out there? You can’t control that, Ash, and it’s destroying you when you try. This… this you control.” He traced a talon on her cheek, noting that she shivered but didn’t run away. “Wherever and however this goes is up to you.” 

“I want this,” she said, tightening her grip on his waist. “I haven’t…I haven’t been with anyone since Johnny,” she admitted, closing her eyes. “I don’t want that to be the last memory I have of being with someone, Nihlus.” 

“So why haven’t you taken another in bed,” he asked, sliding his hands down her sides and reaching under her shirt. Her skin was soft and warm, and he could feel the bones of her hips as he pressed her against him. “I’m sure there are many who’d have jumped at the opportunity.”

“You’d be surprised,” she huffed, biting her lip as he traced his nails along her side. “It just never happened.”

 _Good to know,_ Nihlus thought as he slid off her shirt. “What are your limits?” 

“Damn, you go at it like that, huh?” Ash looked at him with a smirk, but he just flicked his mandibles at her playfully and frowned as he pressed his lip plates to her neck. “Fine- what do you mean?”

“Turians are rough,” he replied, snaking his hand down her stomach and deftly sliding down her sweats. “There’s a reason sparring and sex work in equal measure for us.” 

“So,” Ash said carefully, bringing her hand to his face, “when we sparred the other day, did that turn you on?” 

“Yes,” Nihlus admitted- he had no reason to hide it. “If we’re being honest, had you been turian, we’d have fucked as soon as I’d pinned you down,” he said with a grin. “I could smell you, Ash. Admit it… you’ve been thinking about this ever since then, wondering what I could do to you.” He dipped his hand inside her underwear, noticing the warmth and the wetness pooling between her legs. He always loved this part about sex with other species- though he prided himself on being able to coax plates open with ease, he found it immensely satisfying to have his partner ready and waiting for him. “Are you ready?” She nodded and he paused for a moment, glancing up at her. “Is biting ok?” 

Ash bit her lip as he began to stroke the outsides of her folds, and he could feel her body shiver. “Will I like it?”

Her answer surprised him, and he looked down at her with interest, cupping her ass and pressing her closer to him as he began to press against her with his finger, being careful not to enter her. “That’s an interesting answer.”

“I want to forget,” she murmured, running her hands over his head- he closed his eyes as her fingers found his fringe, and he took his other hand and wrapped it over hers, showing her how to stroke it. “John was considerate and sweet in bed… I don’t want that, so…” she looked up at him, her cheeks flushed as he moved his hand, sliding it beneath her bra. “Would medi-gel fix it… if you get too rough?”

“I will never do anything that will actually hurt you,” he said firmly, pausing so she could see. “But yes… nipping and scratching would leave marks on your skin, so we can avoid that or fix it afterward.”  
  
Ash paused for a second, then exhaled. “Fix it afterward,” she said firmly. “I don’t want you to hold back.” 

“I think I might have to just a little,” he replied, leaning over and nipping at the side of her neck, dipping his fingers inside of her at the same time. _Spirits, I forgot what this type of thing felt like_ , he thought as he felt her soft flesh around his fingers, clenching against him. Nihlus hooked his other finger around the band of fabric over her chest, continuing to nip lightly along her collarbone.“Do you have more of these?” 

“What, bras?” He growled, biting her a little harder- instead of jerking back or protesting, Ash moaned. “Yeah.” 

“Good,” he replied, using his nail to poke a hole in the back of the fabric and shred it, sending the fabric fluttering to the floor. “When we do this again, I don’t want to see them… understand?” 

“Again?” Ash was barely able to speak as he carefully pressed his finger deeper, angling for that soft knob he knew lay deep inside her. “You think we’ll do this again?”

Letting his pride take over for a moment, Nihlus lowered his head, using one hand to cup her breast as his tongue flicked over her nipple. “As many times as you want… I’m willing to bet that you’ll tire before I will, Ash.”  
  
“Someone’s full of himself,” she stammered, her words barely audible as she shook in his arms. 

Nihlus just laughed as he removed his hand, earning a glare from her and a squeeze to his fringe. “No, I plan to be full of you in a second,” he purred, moving his head down and trailing his tongue along her stomach. “But to clarify, I’m pretty sure you’ll prefer this method of stress relief over any other.” 

She started to say something else, but he’d slid her underwear down her legs and brought his face between them, his rough tongue slipping inside her folds to taste the wetness pooling there. As soon as he connected, Ash let out a gasp and arched her back, but Nihlus grabbed her ass and pressed her to him, lapping at her with a fervor that sent her body into spasms.

“Scream and I stop,” he commanded, inhaling the scent and swirling his tongue around. He could feel her pulsating around him, the shudders and heat building in intensity as he continued his ministrations. As she started to whimper louder, he made good on his threat, pulling his face away and lightly nipping her thigh. “Do you want me to continue?” When she nodded furiously, he nipped her again, harder this time. “Use your words.”

“I want it,” she panted, her eyes glassy as she dug her nails into his shoulder. “Please, don’t stop.” 

He smiled, moving his head back and resuming what he was doing with renewed vigor. As he glanced up, he noticed one of her hands had moved to her mouth and he smiled, letting a rumble move through him made her hands flail wildly, finally settling on his arm and digging in. _She tastes like a mix of salt and larsel_ , he thought, dragging his tongue over the cluster of nerves and watching as she started to whimper and mewl. _Asari don’t taste like this,_ he thought, thoroughly enjoying the taste and sensation of her pressed against his mouth. _If this works out, I may have to do this again sometime._

By this point she was threatening to collapse where she stood- only his hand pressing her to his face was keeping her upright. As he moved faster and faster, she began alternating between beating him with her fist and scraping her nails against his plates- if he’d been undressed, she might have even left a mark. The thought that the little human in his arms might be tough enough to actually do some damage sent a ripple through him, causing his plates to fully slip open. Eager to see what she’d do, he brought a finger back inside her, causing her to forget herself entirely and let out a scream as she started to shake, her walls vibrating around his tongue and hand, coating him in her delicious juices that he proceeded to lap up. When he raised his body, Ash draped her hands around his cowl, her head lolling against his shoulder. 

Moving her sweaty hair out of her face, Nihlus grinned and pressed his lip plates to her neck. “Feel better?”

Ash nodded, wrapping her arms around him as she tried to catch her breath. “Much better,” she murmured, then frowned as she stared at him. “How am I fully naked and you haven’t taken any of this shit off yet?” 

Nihlus laughed, hooking his arms underneath her hips and carrying her over to the bed. “That’s because I know how to remove your clothes,” he said as he lay her down and kneeled over her, his erection straining against his pants. “You need to learn how to do the same.” He guided her hands to his shirt, then paused, his green eyes sparkling with amusement. “That is... if you want to continue.” 

“I do,” she rasped, her eyes darting everywhere as he guided her hands over his clasps. “I don’t know how to undo this… it’s too complicated.” 

“You just need some incentive,” he told her, running his hands across her skin. _She’s so warm,_ he thought, trailing the pads of his fingers over her breasts, the rough texture making her flex into his touch. _I wonder how she’s going to feel when I slip inside her._ Struggling to focus, Nihlus gently moved her fingers, quickly undoing the buckles. Once the last one was free, he lowered his head to her chest, his tongue tracing patterns up around her skin. “Take it off.”

Ash slid her hands under his shirt, her palms sliding over his plates. “It’s hard,” she murmured, pulling the fabric over his head and tracing over his ridges. “I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“And you’re soft,” he replied, unbuttoning his pants- he’d wanted her to do it, but he was growing impatient. “Your move, Ash,” he said, watching her closely. He knew she was still aroused, but he was also well aware of her hesitation around things that were different- _she has to make the choice,_ he thought, his sub-vocals rumbling as she slid her hands to his waist, resting just above the tops of his pants. “Only one thing standing in the way of what you want… what are you going to do?” 

She grinned, pushing him over so he was on the bed and straddling him. “I’m going to remove it, of course.”

Nihlus gave a pleased hum, then leaned up to give her a human kiss. The gesture meant nothing to him, but the flush that crept across her skin pleased him. “As you should,” he replied, squeezing her ass as he settled back on the bed and letting his talons trail up her spine. “I might scratch you,” he warned. “And I’m not going to stop until you tell me to.” 

“Who said I’m going to tell you to,” Ash replied, giving him a look of lust and mischief. He’d never seen her look so relaxed before, and he paused for a moment, looking over at the woman sitting on him. _Definitely a fun way to spend an evening,_ he thought, watching as she slid his pants down and gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth. “Um,” she said, not taking her eyes off his cock, “it’s blue.” 

Nihlus nodded. “As it usually is,” he said placidly, still watching to see what she would do. “Take your time,” he said, settling back on the bed and shoving a pillow beneath his fringe. “What do you want to do, Ash?” 

Slowly, she reached out, trailing a finger lightly over his shaft. “It’s slick,” she said, looking at it with wonder. “And it's got swirls,” she noted, following the pattern with her hand. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” Then she blushed, and lowered her head. “Well, on a person, anyway.” 

“Works the same way, I’m told,” he said, guiding her back to the bed and shedding his pants. He wondered if she would stop, but she just lay there, her legs open and waiting for him. Unable to resist, he trailed his fingers over her center, watching as she closed her eyes and bit her lip, throwing her head back as he moved inside her, adding another finger and making her clench onto him. “I should just make you come again right now,” he said, stroking her harder. “It’s a nice look on you.” 

“I want you,” she panted, staring as she gripped his wrist. “But I don’t know how this goes.” 

“It goes how you want it to,” he said, positioning himself over her. “You tell me.” Taking himself in hand, he watched her closely as he lined himself up with her entrance, making her quiver as he brushed his tip against her. She gasped and let out a moan as he pressed himself inside for a moment, only giving her a little bit before pulling out again. “How was that,” he asked, leaning over to her ear. “Think you can handle more?”

“I can handle it all,” she said, defiant even when she was naked and spread open beneath him. “I want you to fuck me, Nihlus.” 

Amused by her language, he chuckled and lined himself up again, his tip hovering just outside her entrance. “You do, hmmm? Do you want something you can forget,” he asked, pressing it through her lips in short, fluttery strokes, “or do you want to remember me inside you every time you sit down tomorrow?”

“You’re good, but I don’t think you’re that good,” she growled, arching her hips to try and guide him inside, her hands restlessly clutching for him until he grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the top of the bed. “Would you stop talking and just do it, goddamn it!” 

Her excitement was making him anxious to sheathe himself inside her, but he also knew that despite her bravado, there was no way she could handle something like that without a very interesting trip to the medbay in the morning. “Careful what you wish for,” he chided, moving inside her and making her cry out as he started to stretch her. “When it’s too much, just tell me… it’s ok if you have to stop.” He pressed in even further, groaning at the warmth and tightness enveloping his cock- every instinct was telling him to go deeper, faster, and harder, but watching her writhe under his arms was making him twitch inside her. “I don’t know if you’re ready for this, Ash,” he teased, nipping her neck as he gave a few tiny thrusts then went still. “I don’t want to ruin you, you know.” 

“Stop… _fucking…_ _playing_ with me,” she gasped, struggling to get him to move again. “This isn’t funny, Kryik!” 

“Oh, we’re back to that again, are we?” He gave a deeper thrust, feeling her walls stretch around his dick as her eyes rolled back in her head. “Too bad- I think i was just getting the hang of it too.” She moaned and he moved deeper, rolling his hips and guiding one of her hands between her legs. “And here I was, wondering how much fun it would be-” he took her fingers and started pressing them against her lower lips, gently moving in and out the entire time- “to feel you cum over my cock… Williams.” When she got the hint and started moving her fingers on her own, he moved his hand up and traced his talon over her cheek. “But I guess I’ll just have to wait… I was told that this was only something that friends did… not my squadmate.” 

She started to protest and he plunged in deeper, making the words die on her lips. “Not in here, he murmured, rolling his hips again, desperate to have himself fully seated between her legs. “While I’m fucking you, we leave that shit out there...understood?” She nodded, then he moved again, groaning with the effort of restraining himself. “If I do you how I want to, you’re going to be sore,” he warned, resting his head against her shoulder. “But I want to bury myself in you so deep right now,” he murmured, shuddering as he moved out a little, feeling her body desperately trying to keep him in place. “You’re going to have to tell me to stop, Ash… because I’m ready to take you right now.” 

“Do it,” she breathed, making her walls tighten around him and he groaned, digging his talons in her hips. “Show me what you want.” 

“You are not turian,” he warned, pressing his lip plates to hers. “If it’s too much, I’ll stop.”

“Nihlus,” Ash growled, yanking his fringe and biting at the soft skin of his neck, “you talk too fucking much- I asked for you to fuck me, not read me a goddamn book!”

 _Spirits, I wish she’d let me do this weeks ago,_ he thought as he bit her back, dragging himself out of her. _We could have saved this whole crew a lot of trouble_. “You asked for it,” he growled, hovering at her entrance for a moment before burying himself fully inside her, making her squeal for a moment before he stilled, savoring the sensation before moving again. “You feel amazing,” he told her, snapping his hips into her with a fervor he hadn’t indulged in a very long time. “Fucking you is perfect, Ash.” 

“Oh god,” she moaned, her hands moving wildly and yanking at him, her nails looking for purchase over his plates and burying themselves in the spaces between them, “I’m-” 

“Stop talking and do it,” he rumbled, his pace quickening as he chased his release. “I want to feel you do it- what do you need?” 

“Just… keep… going,” she panted, her skin reddening beneath him. “I’m... almost…” 

He didn’t give her time to continue- he pressed himself into her, going so deep his slit was pressed against her entrance. Suddenly, he felt the dual sensations of her body going completely stiff beneath him while her insides were a flurry of delicious motions, pulsing and dragging against him as he tried to move. _Spirits this is different,_ he groaned, pumping a few more times before spilling inside her with a roar, his body shuddering from the effort. Instinct told him to move away, but he remembered she was different, and he lay between her legs, their climaxes still slick and clinging to them. 

Taking a moment to clear his head, he glanced at the woman beneath him- she was staring at the ceiling and breathing rapidly, her chest rising and falling with each breath. Reluctantly, he slid out of her, coming to rest at her side. “You ok?”

As if she had only just realized he was there, Ash dragged her gaze over to him, her eyes wide with amazement. “That’s stress relief for you guys?” 

“It sure is,’” he replied smugly, running a talon lightly between her breasts. “Why? Don’t you feel relaxed?”

“Well, yeah,” she admitted, her body giving intermittent shudders as she tried to settle down. “But I was expecting something a little more…”  
  
“I needed to know how much you could take,” he replied, getting up and handing her a towel that was sitting on her floor. “Consider it an evaluation of sorts.”

Ash grinned, then propped herself up on her elbows. “Well? Did I pass?” 

“If you wanted to go again, I wouldn’t mind the release,” he answered simply, looking at her and giving a playful flick of his mandibles. “But again, it’s up to you- once I leave, I’m not even going to acknowledge this unless you bring it up.” 

“You can ask too, you know,” Ash said quietly, looking at him as he gathered his clothes. “It doesn’t always have to be me- I kinda don’t want to be using you like a walking dildo, Nihlus.” 

“I should hope you know by now I’m much better than that,” he said haughtily, ignoring the laughter coming from the woman in the bed. “But I’ll keep it in mind-I just don’t want you to feel as if you’re under any obligation to say yes, so I won’t put you in that position.” 

“What if I like being underneath you,” she teased, glancing down at him as he reached for his clothes. “I gotta say, it wasn’t a bad position to be in.”

Unable to resist, he headed back to the bed, nipping lightly at her neck and slapping her ass. “Keep talking like that and I’m going to have to show you a few other positions I could put you in.” She started to say something, but he held up a finger. “And before you say a word, I’m only restraining right now because I need to know how sore you are in the morning.” He glanced over at her, noticing how she was biting her lip as she stared at him. “Where’s your medi-gel?”

She gestured over to the nightstand and he reached inside, pulling out the tube and coating her body with it. He knew his plates had rubbed her raw- he hadn’t been all that concerned with it at the time, and she did have some nasty little cuts on her side. “This should help,” he said, rubbing the substance over her legs and pushing away the thought of what would happen if he took her again. “I’m going to leave now- you need to get some sleep, anyway.” 

As was her nature, Ashley started to contradict him, but she was cut off as a loud yawn left her lips. She glared at him, but he just raised his brow-plate at her, letting out a satisfied rumble as she hit him in the back. “Smug bastard,” she grumbled. “You think you’re so goddamn smart, don’t you?” 

“That’s because I am,” he teased, his mandibles fluttering with surprise as she pressed her lips to his lip plates. “See you in the morning, Ash- if you have any problems, let me know.” 

“Night,” she murmured, laying back down and staring at him as he got up. “No weirdness tomorrow, right?” 

“It’s only going to be weird if you make it weird,” he replied, gathering the last of his things and getting dressed. “But that’s a worry for another time- get some sleep.” 

“You know, you aren’t so bad,” she murmured, her eyelids drooping closed. “Thanks, Nih.” 

Pausing at the woman using the nickname Jane often used, he leaned over to her bed, pressing his lip plates to hers. “I like that,” he said, looking over her body as she pulled the covers up to her chin. “We’re Nih and Ash in here- we can leave everything else out there, ok?”

“Got it,” she replied sleepily. “Night, Nih.”

“Night, Ash,” Nihlus remarked, taking one last look at the woman in the bed before he left the room. 


	37. Adrenaline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting the news about a bad assignment, Garrus gets breakfast for Jane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you skipped the last chapter- Ash and Nih tried out the 'friends with benefits' thing.   
> Yay, you are officially caught up, welcome back to the story!

_ _

* * *

Nihlus walked into the cockpit, chuckling to himself as the pilot pretended to be awake. _If I didn’t know how good he actually was, this might make me nervous,_ the turian thought as he silently crept closer, waiting until he was right next to the man’s ear to clear his throat. Just as he suspected, the pilot shot straight up and fumbled, looking around in a panic as he acclimated to being awake again. Chuckling, Nihlus leaned against the console and crossed his arms, his mandibles twitching with amusement. “So,” he said politely, “now that I have your _undivided_ attention… what can you tell me about our current course, Moreau?” 

“ _Asshole_ ,” Joker grumbled, wiping his face and glaring at the turian. “You just _had_ to be a sneaky bastard, huh?” 

“I wasn’t sneaking,” Nihlus said mildly, knowing he was stretching the truth to the limits, “I was merely silent and not making a cacophony of noises as I approached you… unlike _everyone_ else on the ship. However, the question still stands- where are we heading?”

“Not sure,” he replied, letting out a yawn. “There was a message for Janey from Hackett, so I assume there’s going to be some fuckery and fallout from that today- feel like taking bets on how long it takes for her to go from zero to pissed after she gets off with him?”

“I think you don’t give your friend enough credit,” Nihlus replied, laughing. “Jane is not as bad as you’re making her out to be- yes, she’s hotheaded, but she is proving to be capable when she needs to be.”

Joker pretended to look shocked. “Jane Brain? _Hotheaded_? Why I’d _never_ say such things about her…” Nihlus rolled his eyes at him, but the pilot just grinned. “Yeah, she’s doing pretty damn good out here, all things considered. Hell, she’s better than that goddamn BB, that’s for sure.” 

Now that he understood what the nickname meant, Nihlus frowned. “Why must you call her that?” 

Joker just stared at him. “Look, just because she’s polishing _your_ knob- which, by the way, I would totally get checked out, since I’m convinced she’s part demon, it doesn’t make her any less of an asshat to the rest of us.” He turned back to the console and Nihlus watched as he glanced over at the security feed that showed the mess hall. “The woman is a goddamn bomb- she always has been and it’s gonna take a shitload of credits and whiskey to convince me otherwise.”

Nihlus flinched for a moment, then cocked his head. “Polishing my what?” 

“Human term,” Joker replied, then tapped the screen showing the mess hall. “I saw you guys getting all cozy there the other day,” he said with a smile. “After BB lost her shit on Tiny and Johnny, I keep it on in case I need to direct traffic- even though it’s been quiet, I’m finding that leaving the comms on is better than a vid most days.”

“That’s an invasion of privacy,” Nihlus said witheringly, rolling his eyes. “Do you not have anything better to do?” 

“Hey, everyone else seems to be having themselves a grand old time while Joker just, you know, makes sure we don’t fly off into the nearest sun and die a fiery death,” he sniped, turning his attention back to the screen. “And by the way, you _seriously_ couldn’t do any better than BB? Are you that hard up for options, Kryik?” 

“Don’t call her that,” he snapped, his mandibles fluttering with irritation. “She’s got issues, to be sure, but she doesn’t deserve to be taunted at every turn, either- if Miss Vakarian can give her the benefit of the doubt, I’m sure you can as well.” 

“Well, _I’m_ not Sol,” Joker shot back coldly, tapping a few keys. “I got a history with that woman and a memory to match, so she’s gonna have to _damn_ near move mountains if she wants to get right with me.”

_ _

* * *

Garrus watched as his mate’s face grew more and more pinched every second the admiral talked to her. She was fine when he initially asked her to check on what was happening with the scientists, but the moment Hackett mentioned they worked on Akuze, it was as if Jane grew tenser and tenser with each passing moment. He started to say something but the look in her eyes made him pause. “It’s too early for this,” she grumbled as the call disconnected, putting her head in her hands. “I haven’t even had my coffee yet.” 

“Now _that_ I can help you with,” Garrus replied, gently squeezing her shoulder. “You go talk to Joker and tell him where we need to go- I’ll go make you a cup of coffee and bring it out to you.”

For the first time since they’d entered the comms room that morning, Jane smiled. “You’re the best,” she murmured, draping her hands around his cowl and pressing her lips to his. “What would I ever do without you?” 

“Live a hopelessly mundane and un-caffeinated existence?”Jane started to grumble, but Garrus just laughed. “Go… I’ll get your breakfast and some coffee for you.”

She smiled again as he headed over to the mess hall, frowning to himself the minute she was away from him. _It always comes back to that place_ , he thought irritably, reaching in the cabinets to find a breakfast bar for her. Finding a chocolate granola bar and grabbing a dextro chocolate bar for himself, Garrus let out a happy little chirp as he started to prepare her coffee. _This should brighten her morning,_ he thought, putting her bar in his pocket and starting to munch on his. 

Soon, the smell of coffee began to fill the room, and a sleepy-looking John stumbled into the mess hall. “Coffee sure smells good, Vakarian,” he mumbled, running his hand over his tousled curls. “Did you make enough for the rest of us, too?”

Garrus just smiled smugly at his friend, leaning against the counter and scratching absentmindedly at his neck. “Fortunately, making sure _you_ are wide awake is not my issue, Shepard- getting breakfast for my mate after hearing a shipload of bad news _is_.” 

“What the hell, man?" John huffed at Garrus as the turian poured two cups of coffee and headed to the table, setting one down in front of his grateful-looking friend. "We just woke up and the world is going to shit _already_?”

“It was already shit- we just got saddled with more of it.” The itch was becoming more and more irritating by the minute, and he wanted to take off his gloves and scratch at his plates. “Hackett is sending her to the Newton system- something about scientists going missing after working on a project… on Akuze.” He frowned as he scratched under his chin, then cleared his throat. “Spirits above, I think I’m allergic to Jane’s shampoo or something- this damnable itching is driving me _crazy_.” 

His friend peered at him, and then his eyes widened. “Um… I don’t think so, my guy,” John said carefully, setting down his cup and walking over to him, running his finger over his neck. “You have a nasty rash racing up the side of your neck right now.”

Garrus tried to swallow, but it felt like he was swallowing a wad of cotton- his throat was on fire and it was getting harder to breathe. “Go get Chakwas,” he croaked, clutching at his chest. “ _Now_.”

“Holy shit!” John leaped to his feet, his injuries forgotten for the moment. “You’re coming with me, _right now!”_ John instantly moved over to Garrus and draped his arm around his shoulder, then yelled into the air. “Hey Joker, you nosy motherfucker! I know you’re watching! Go tell the medbay we’re coming and it's a goddamn emergency!” 

If Garrus wasn’t struggling to breathe, he would’ve found that funny- as it was, he was too busy trying to make sure air was getting into his lungs. Every step he took felt like it was a massive effort, and by the time he made it to the doors of the medbay, he was wheezing and seeing spots. _I feel like I’m about to die,_ he thought as he stumbled inside the room, barely able to see straight. He knew that people were talking around him, but he was too busy trying to stay awake as John helped him to a cot. All he wanted to do was breathe, but it felt impossible- every time he tried and couldn’t, his pulse started to race, making his head swim even more. _Someone needs to tell Jane,_ he thought, clawing at the mattress while someone injected something into his neck. _She needs to know how much I love her._

_ _

* * *

As Chakwas shoved a needle in Gar’s neck, John collapsed against the wall and stared at the turian on the cot in front of him. “What the fuck just happened, doc?” 

Chakwas frowned, then looked over at Garrus, who was now gasping for air. “From the looks of it, a severe allergic reaction.” She turned to John and narrowed her eyes. “What _happened_ out there?” 

“Beats the hell out of me, doc- one minute he’s fine, the next he’s out here gaping like a dying fish.” He turned to Sol, who had come out of the back and was now holding her brother’s hand. “Sol, is Gar allergic to anything?” 

She shook her head. “No- we all get tested before we go into the military. It’d be stupid for us to have allergies that enemies could exploit. The only thing that could’ve done something like this is eating levo food- we can’t avoid being allergic to that, but Gar isn’t that stupid.” 

“No,” he rasped, coughing as he tried to sit up- immediately, the doctor put a hand on his chest and pushed him back down. He glared at her for a moment and coughed again, which only resulted in Sol pressing his shoulder into the mattress. Finally, Garrus looked as if he came to the conclusion that there was no way to fight the two women, so he let his head slump backward and sighed. “I’m adventurous, not stupid.” 

“Could’ve fooled me,” Sol muttered, peering into his face and ignoring her brother’s murderous glare. “Are you feeling better? Can you walk us through what happened right before this?”

“I was making Jane coffee like I usually do,” he slurred, his words running together. “Got her a breakfast bar and ate mine while I waited for the coffee. Then this man comes in, I pour him a cup, and then… _this_.” Garrus exhaled, then closed his eyes. “Spirits, it felt like I was going to _die_.” 

“If John hadn’t been there, you may very well have,” Chakwas replied, looking up as Jane burst into the medbay. “Smart thinking... getting him over here when you did.”

“Someone better tell me what the hell is going on!” Jane thundered, looking around the room. “What the _fuck_ happened to my husband!”

“You don’t have to yell,” Garrus mumbled, reaching for her hand. “Everything is _fine_ now, Jane- no need to worry.” 

_Wrong thing to say,_ John thought, waiting for his sister to lose her mind. Sure enough, Jane did not disappoint, her face turning red and angry. “So, I don’t have to worry about the fact that my _husband_ is in the medbay looking like he’s about to die? _That’s_ what I don’t have to worry about?” Then she turned to John and he groaned, knowing that she was about to let him have it. “ _And_ the fact that neither my _brother_ nor my _sister-in-law_ saw fit to tell me something was happening? I had to find out from _Joker_ that my husband almost collapsed in the mess hall!” Furious, she swatted at John, barely missing his sore patches of skin. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

John ignored her anger and wrapped his arm around her, guiding her back to Garrus. “He is going to be _fine_ ,” he said firmly, hoping she was finally in a state to listen. “Look man, do you think it’s possible you ate her breakfast by mistake? I know you wouldn’t do something like that on purpose, but we’ve been under crazy stress lately- anything could happen.” 

Garrus looked at John for a moment, then shook his head. “Go in my pocket- Jane’s bar should be in there.” Jane looked at John for a moment, then did as he asked. Sure enough, the granola bar was there, just as he said it was. “Sol,” Jane said, holding Garrus’s hand- he looked better, but his rashes were still there and his breaths were still raspy, “can he develop an allergy all of a sudden? I know that happens to humans sometimes.” 

Sol frowned. “It’s not _likely_ , but it’s also not impossible.” She turned to her brother, her face completely serious. “What did you eat, Gar?” 

Despite his injuries, John could see a blush creeping up the sides of his neck as he looked at his sister. “Chocolate,” he said sheepishly. “I know it’s a terrible breakfast, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Well, if you’ve developed an allergy, I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about it anymore,” Jane replied, gently kissing his hand. “I don’t care how good it is- no chocolate is worth all this.” 

Sol glanced over at John, then back to Garrus. “Did you eat the whole thing?” When he nodded, Sol sighed. “Where did you get it?” 

“From the cabinet,” Garrus replied, looking at her strangely. “Why? Do you know anywhere else on the ship I could find dextro food?” 

“Smartass,” Sol mumbled, then frowned again. “Jane, can you stay with Gar for a moment?” When Jane nodded, she turned to John. “Johnny, can you come with me? I want to see if the wrapper is still in the kitchen- might be able to test any residue and see what he’s allergic to.” 

“There’s another bar in the kitchen, unless Tali or Nih took it,” Garrus interjected, then shivered. “Spirits, I feel _terrible_ ,” he moaned, burying his face in Jane’s hand. “I’m _freezing_ , but it also feels like my plates are on fire.”

“You’re going to feel like that for a little while,” Chakwas said gently. “Sol, John… please go and see if you can get a sample of whatever he ate for me, ok?”

Sol nodded, then practically dragged John out of the room and into the mess hall, making a beeline for the dextro cabinet. Sure enough, there was one bar left, just as her brother had said. Picking it up, John squinted at the wrapper, then handed it back to her. “Looks like what you two normally eat, Tiny- could that kind of thing really just happen all of a sudden?”

“Johnny,” she whispered, pulling him into an out of the way corner, “something is wrong here.” 

“No shit,” John replied, wondering where this was coming from. “Your brother is out here developing allergies to shit in the middle of nowhere- with as much of this crap as you eat, I’m kinda scared that this kind of thing might happen to you.”

“No, it’s not that,” she said, holding the bar out to him. “We haven’t stopped anywhere to resupply in days, right?”

“Ri-i-ght,” John replied, wondering what she was getting at. “Gar told me there were only a few of these things left- I was going to stash one away and give it to you when I pissed you off.” 

Sol rolled her eyes, then hit him in the arm. “Johnny,” she said insistently, “there were _no_ chocolates left when I went in this drawer the other day!” 

John felt his blood run cold and his jaw started to clench. “Tiny,” he said warningly, “are you sure about this?” 

“Positive,” she replied, looking down at the bar in her hand. “I remember because I was looking for something to eat while I was making your dinner- if this had been there, I would’ve eaten it for sure.” 

Glancing up at the ceiling for a moment, John frowned- realizing what he had to do, he turned and gave Sol a bright smile. “Come with me for a second, would ya?”

Confused, Sol did as he asked, not saying a word as John ushered her into her room. Once they were inside, he pulled up his omnitool and shut down all communications, thankful for the turian’s paranoia after the Alenko incident. “There,” he said shakily. “I trust Joker, but I need to make sure it’s just us now.”

Sol started to say something, but John pulled her in his arms, his body flooded with a mixture of terror and relief. “I’m glad you didn’t touch that shit,” he whispered, clutching her tightly to him. “I damn sure don’t think I’d be as cool as Janey’s being about it if it was you laid up in there.”

“I’m glad to know you care,” Sol replied, kissing his forehead before stepping away. “But I think I need to know what’s going on here more.” 

Ignoring her statement for a moment, John caressed her face. “Can you do me a favor? Look, I get that you’re all really tight with everyone back there, but I need you to not tell _anyone_ else about this except Chakwas, ok?” 

Sol nodded, looking up at him with concern. “Of course.”   
  
He handed her back the candy, then sat down on the bed. “Run a test on that and let me know if you find anything strange, will you? And if anyone asks about the big guy… tell them I just overreacted and he’s absolutely fine.” 

“Johnny, you _know_ I don’t lie,” Sol said with a frown. “Why are you asking me to?” 

“Then just say he’s fine,” he said, trying to keep his nerves and exasperation out of his voice. _It’s not her fault,_ John thought, blowing out a deep breath as he sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s important, Tiny- I don’t want anyone to know how bad it was.” 

“Why?” Sol asked, sitting next to him. “What are you thinking, Johnny?” 

He sighed, turning the candy over in his hands and shuddering at the thought of Sol gasping and panicking like Garrus was. “I’m thinking that we need to test this candy,” he said slowly, closing his eyes. “Because based on what you’re telling me, I think someone tampered with it… and I don’t want them to know how close they came to killing your brother.”

_ _

* * *

Jane sighed as she leaned her head against his side, trying to calm herself down. Only she, Sol, Garrus, and John remained in the medbay- her brother had made a point to kick everyone else out, including the doctor, which Jane found to be odd. Sol was in the back, working on something, so they were sitting at Garrus’s bedside. “So,” she said warily, “I think you need to explain real fucking fast why you don’t want my husband recovering where people can keep an eye on him, but you _also_ want me to go on a mission and pretend like nothing fucking happened?”

“Because that’s exactly what I need you to do,” John said calmly, looking over at Garrus- Jane knew that there was more to this, but she also knew that John was nothing if not methodical. Ever since they were little, John hated arguing- he’d always preferred to have an airtight argument against you so he could end the disagreement with as little fuss as possible. _He’ll tell me when he’s ready,_ she thought, knowing that prodding him would only serve to irritate him further. “And I need Vakarian to pretend that this was just something he could easily walk off.” 

Jane raised her eyebrow at him. “Do I get to know why?” 

“You will,” he said darkly. “Just not right now… I can’t have you sitting around here any longer, Jane Brain- it looks worse and worse the longer you stay.” 

“Fine,” she huffed. “But who the fuck am I supposed to take with me today? You’re still out of commission, my husband is out… me and Wrex can’t run this by ourselves!” _And I don’t want to be alone for this_ , she thought with a shudder, trying to hide her discomfort at the thought of facing anything regarding the worst time of her by herself. “Maybe I should just-” 

“Take Nihlus,” Garrus wheezed, taking a breath from the inhaler Chakwas had given him. “I trust him… he’ll help you out there, Jane- you know that.” 

“I know,” she said weakly, running her hand over her hair. “I just don’t want to do something like this in front of Ash,” she admitted. “If it gets bad and she says something…” Jane let her voice trail off, angrily flexing her fingers. “I don’t think I could handle it… not today.” 

John paused, then glanced at Garrus for a second before continuing. “Take Planko,” he said firmly, ignoring the reedy howl coming from the turian next to him. He shot Garrus a look, his expression clearly telling his partner to shut the fuck up. “Between Nih, Wrex, and the board, you should have what you need out there.”

“You’ve lost your mind,” Jane said flatly. Between her husband’s condition and now this foolishness, Jane didn’t know how much more she could take. Considering she’d never even gotten a cup of coffee, she was pretty sure she was bordering on insanity. “You _cannot_ be serious, John- why would I do something like that?” 

“Because I need you to,” he replied. “I need you out there… and I need at least two people in your squad I can trust.”

“So why send the plank?” Jane asked, her eyes narrowing as she scanned her twin’s face. “Out with it, Johnny- what do you know?”

“Maybe something, maybe nothing,” he said casually, glancing back at the lab where Sol was working for a minute before turning back to them. He fiddled with his omnitool for a minute, then turned back to Jane. “I just need a little more time to be sure.”

“You’ve got until I get back,” Jane growled, getting up from her chair. “After that, you better be ready to talk... or I’m raising holy hell around here until you do.” 


	38. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sol helps with Garrus; Jane goes on mission

_ _

* * *

Sol sat in the chair, nervously tapping her talons against the nightstand. _I need to call mom_ , she thought, trying her best to rationalize a decision she knew was going to piss her brother off. _Mom can tell me if he ever had a predisposition to something like this._

“Gar,” she said carefully, trying to not irk her brother any more than he already was- he’d been in a terrible mood ever since Jane had left, and nothing she or John had done seemed to make him any more comfortable or less irritable. “I… I need to call Mom,” she said quietly, waiting for him to explode- to her chagrin he remained silent, which Sol almost thought was worse. “She might know more about what happened… or if it’s ever happened before.”

“I don’t want you worrying her,” Garrus grumbled, not even opening his eyes. “It can wait.”

“It really can’t,” Sol replied, placing a hand on his arm. “I need to make sure you stay safe, Gar." The turian sighed and let out a sad little chirp, bumping her face against his. "I know you don't want to bother her, but you being ok is more important to me.”

"Hey," Garrus said, his tone softening as he stared at Sol, “I’m the one that's supposed to worry about you,” he mumbled, resting his hand on hers. “That’s my job.”

Sol nuzzled her head against his again, then looked up as John came back into the room. “How’s our shitty patient,” he asked, looking carefully over at Garrus. “He been giving you any problems?” 

“Other than not letting me call Mom, no,” Sol replied, leaning against John. “He’s just being foolish and stubborn.” 

“So… he’s fine then,” John said teasingly, earning himself a slap on the wrist. “And sorry to leave you alone with this grouch, but your shift is over now, Sol- I’ll take the heat in here for a while.” 

“No, _both_ of you can leave,” Garrus grumbled, rolling over in bed. “I feel like the Mako ran me over and you two nattering about everything isn’t helping, so would you both _please_ get out so I can get some sleep?” 

John just rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Can you lock this room so only us or Jane can get in here?”

Garrus let out a derisive-sounding snort, forcing Sol to hold in her laughter. “Obviously.” 

“Then do it,” John shot back. “We’ll be in the lab- I need your sister to run some tests for me, anyway.” 

His statement made Gar roll over in his bed, eyeing John suspiciously. “You have an idea what might have happened?” 

“I do,” John replied, glancing over to Sol. Instantly, she felt a sudden sense of fear and shivered- _Then that means... someone really did try to kill us dextros._ The thought seemed like it was far-fetched, but with her brother laid in the bed as proof... she couldn’t dismiss it as a ridiculous theory. “Tiny,” John said cautiously, placing a hand on her arm, “are you ok?” 

She thought about saying she was fine, but then she thought about the way Garrus looked when he came into the medbay and the only thing she could manage was a strangled chirp. “I… I need to get out of here,” she gasped, feeling her stomach start to lurch. Before the boys could say a word, Sol pulled away from John and raced into Janey’s bathroom, dropping to her knees and violently ejecting the contents of her stomach into the toilet. 

_ _

* * *

As Wrex stood guard over Dr. Wayne and Kaiden stood with Toombs, Jane leaned against the wall and tried to calm down. _No one needs to see you break down,_ she thought, digging her nails into her palms- if she wasn’t wearing gloves, she would have drawn blood by now. _Keep it together, Jane- you can’t let them know this is getting to you._

She was so lost in her mania that it didn't register when Nihlus made his way over to her. He was silent for a moment, no doubt noticing the tension in her shoulders. “Hey,” he said quietly, pulling her close to him so no one else could hear their conversation, “How are you doing?” Jane tried to focus, but the corporal’s words were swimming around in her brain, making her stand still with terror. _That could’ve been me,_ she thought, trying not to heave. _Cerberus… was responsible for Akuze,_ she thought frantically. _They sent the maws… they killed my team._

Just as her pulse was racing and her heart was threatening to escape from her chest, Nihlus squeezed her shoulders. “All right, he said softly, nuzzling her face lightly and drawing her eyes to his face, “that’s enough of that- you’re coming with me, Jane.” Looking over at the others, Nihlus cleared his throat. “Commander,” he said, his voice loud enough for the others to hear, “I need to speak to you about the transfer of Doctor Wayne- can I borrow you for a moment, please?”

Mutely, Jane nodded, letting him guide her away from the others. She could vaguely hear Alenko calling out to her, but the sounds were muted compared to the thudding of her heartbeat in her ears. _I feel like I’m going to pass out,_ Jane thought weakly, glancing up at the turian across from her as he led her away. _I thought I could do this… but I can’t._

“Jane, I need you to focus on my voice,” Nihlus said firmly, gripping her face in his hands- they were now in an empty corridor, and the turian was standing in front of her, his eyes roaming over her with concern. “You are okay,” he said soothingly, resting his head against hers and rubbing her hair. “You are not on Akuze and they didn't take you… it's terrible, but that happened to _him_ , not you.” 

The panic was rising in her throat- Jane gazed around the room frantically, but he let out a rumble and brought her focus back to him. “It could’ve been me,” she hissed, the fear painfully clawing at her chest. “They killed _everyone_ … for a fucking _science experiment_ , Nih- they killed my team!”

“Shh,” he said, pulling her close and holding her tight, letting his sub-vocals rumble and vibrate against her armor. “I know. They could have, but they didn’t. You are safe, understand? I need you to breathe and be the commander again, Jane- if you don’t, he’s going to get away with it… and I know you don’t want that, right?” 

She shook her head, finally noticing the hardness of his armor and the green eyes staring at her with worry. “No,” she said hoarsely. “Honestly, I wish I’d let him shoot the bastard.” 

“Your team deserves more than that, Jane,” Nihlus said calmly, moving back and giving her a bit of space. “And his team deserves more than that, too.” When she nodded, he smiled, clipping her lightly on the chin with his finger. “We have to wait for the Alliance to pick these two up… will you be able to handle going back in there?”

“Why today?” Jane asked pitifully, staring up at Nihlus with tears in her eyes. “Why do I have to do this _today_ , when I don’t know if my husband is even alive back there? How am I supposed to be the goddamn Alliance poster child when that... _man_ … is the fucking embodiment of the _worst fucking time_ of my life, Nih?”

“Don’t do that to yourself,” Nihlus said firmly, grabbing her hand. “Garrus is fine- he was fine when you left, right? Seeing as John sent me and Wrex messages to come here with you, I’m sure he’d get a message to you if something serious had happened. And yes, I know it’s stressful, and no, it’s not fair to put this on you, but _life_ is not fair, Jane- you know this. When you get back to your room, you can run into your mate’s arms and cry for everything you are worth, but out here, you are Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre. As far as the galaxy knows, I _died_ to make that happen, Jane- show them why it was worth it… why _you_ were worth it.” 

Taking a deep breath, Jane nodded, shaking her hands at her sides. “I think I can do this,” she said nervously, working to calm herself down. “Be the commander… don’t think, just do, Jane… you can do this.”

“You can,” Nihlus said calmly, squeezing her shoulders. “But just in case, I’ll be right by your side...for as long as you need me.”

Giving her friend a grateful look, Jane nodded. “Thanks, Nih… this means a lot.” She ran her hand over her hair, then exhaled sharply. “I don’t think I could’ve done this without you… and definitely not today.” 

“You would have done fine on your own,” Nihlus assured her, guiding her back into the room. “But thankfully, I’m here to make sure you don’t have to.” 

_ _

* * *

Nihlus watched as Jane talked with the officers and explained what happened, frowning as Alenko hovered by her side the entire time. “Well, this was a shitshow of a day,” Wrex muttered, standing next to him and crossing his arms. “Did you get the whelp’s message?” 

“I did,” Nihlus said evenly, watching the lieutenant carefully. “And I’m inclined to agree with his suspicions- something is definitely amiss with him.”  
  
“He almost pissed himself when you took the commander out of here earlier,” the krogan said quietly, watching as the soldiers led the scientist and the corporal away. “Seems like he thought it should’ve been him helping her out,” he said mildly. “Think he knew this mission was going to be rough for her?”

Nihlus just watched as Alenko tried unsuccessfully to put his arm around Jane and guide her somewhere, only to have her move away at the last second. _Clever girl,_ he thought, nodding with approval. _You know when something isn’t right._ “The cockpit is fairly close to the comms room,” he mused, watching the man glower at her rebuke. “It’s not outside the realm of possibility.” 

Wrex growled, his agitation loud enough to make an officer on the other side of the room turn around and back away slowly, eager to get out of the vicinity of the krogan. “Think he did it?”

“Did what?” Nihlus knew exactly what the krogan was referring to, but better to hear it from Wrex instead of guessing- with something this large, it was best to be on the same page. 

“Don’t play dumb,” Wrex muttered, his red eyes darting across the room. “Do you think he was the one that poisoned the kid? I mean, he’s been sniffing her ass this entire time we’ve been out here… he might not be above taking things a step further.”

Nihlus let his mandibles flutter as he leaned against the wall, trying to make sure that no one looked too closely at him. Though he wasn’t pleased about the reason, he had to admit that he was happy that Garrus wasn’t there- people just assumed the turian with her was the one that never left her side, so no one questioned him. “It takes a certain kind of person to be able to murder someone that you know,” Nihlus mused, glancing at Wrex out of the corner of his eye. “Not everyone lives our kind of lives, Krogan.” 

“And not everyone respects what others have,” Wrex said mildly, his words making Nihlus flinch. “That’s a trait some never learn.” 

Staying silent, the spectre watched as the man tried to make small talk with Jane. Though Jane was being polite, Nihlus found himself growing slightly irritated with the lieutenant. _Can’t you tell she’s not comfortable with you,_ he thought angrily, his sub-vocals rumbling with irritation. _The day is trying enough- she doesn’t need this lummox pawing at her on top of everything else._

“Simmer down, turian,” Wrex said quietly, not taking his eyes off Jane. “You’re getting a bit loud there… keep that kind of thing up and I might start wondering if _you_ were the one angling to take the boy out of the picture.” 

“I would _never_ ,” Nihlus growled, glaring at the krogan. “Vakarian is her bond-mate- such a thing would be unforgivable!”

“Not everyone has your level of honor,” the krogan replied, glancing at Nihlus out of the corner of his eye. “Some are downright scum.” He glanced over at the lieutenant, then turned his attention back to Nihlus. “Do you think she knows John’s theory?” 

Nihlus shook his head. “Not a chance.” 

“You sound awfully sure about that,” Wrex said, his tone full of mild interest. “Got some insight you want to share? What makes you so certain?”

“Because I know Jane,” Nihlus remarked, watching as the two made their way over. “And I know for a fact that she doesn’t know… because Alenko is still breathing.” 

_ _

* * *

Sol didn’t know how long she sat there, holding the toilet and softly keening to herself, but she soon felt a hand rubbing her back. “Hey,” John replied, settling down next to her, pulling her close to him, “what’s wrong… talk to me, Tiny.” 

Sol was keening so hard that her eyes were squeezed shut and her breath was coming in fits and starts- whether she wanted it to or not, all the stress of the day was coming out and she couldn’t control it in the slightest. “Someone… wants us dead, Johnny,” she gasped, her body shaking. “Someone on this ship almost killed my brother today… what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to _sleep_ or _eat_ or-” 

“Stop that,” John said sharply, pressing his head to hers. “No one is going to hurt you, Tiny- I am _personally_ going to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again.” 

“But… but…” Sol could barely get the words out- instead, she just clutched him tighter as the spasms wracked her body. “I’m terrified,” she whispered, trying to pull herself together. “I don’t know what to do, Johnny.” 

“Look at me,” John said, running his hand over the back of her head and holding her tight. “You mean the world to me, Sol, and I will go through hell and high water to keep you safe. I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop this from happening, but I will be _damned_ if I let something like this happen to my family again, understand?” 

She nodded, and John smiled, helping her to her feet. “C’mon, this is gross, Tiny- you know what those two probably do in here.” When she laughed weakly, John pressed his lips to her nose. “Have you eaten today?” 

Sol shook her head. “I… I couldn’t do it,” she said with a shiver. “I was too scared to do it… I didn’t want to eat something and collapse… like Gar.” 

John nodded. “Then let’s fix that- let’s get you something to eat and then we can head over to the lab and figure out what’s going on together, ok?” He gently rubbed her back, then smiled. “Two brains are better than one, right?”

Sol frowned, a fearful hum escaping before she could stop. “But I _can’t_ ,” she whispered, looking around the bathroom and trying to suppress the panic coursing through her veins. “What if it’s poisoned too? What happens-” 

“No,” John said firmly, squeezing her hand and forcing her to look at him. “That’s not going to happen, understand?” 

“But how can you _know_ ,” Sol cried, her eyes going wide and her breaths growing shallow. “Gar didn’t know, so how can you? Everything in there could be tainted, Johnny!” 

“It’s not,” he said firmly, holding her hand tightly. “You can trust me on that, Tiny.” Before she could speak again, he placed his hands on the side of her face. “I think the only reason Gar wasn’t able to tell was that chocolate tastes the same for both of us.” John smiled, moving one hand to gently rub her back. “And, since we don’t have the levo equivalents of kantog or vorsin, we know for sure that those things are ok to eat. And I’m sorry to say that there isn’t much left except those and a few other bars I have no idea how to pronounce, so you’re safe.” He stared at her, his grey eyes serious. “That’s why I told you to make sure you said it wasn’t a big deal- I don’t want this asshole to know how bad it was… it’ll make it seem like it wasn’t worth the effort.”

“But it _was_ ,” Sol stammered, letting John finally lead her out of the bathroom. She could feel Gar’s eyes on her but she forced herself to focus on John, quietly letting him lead her out of the room. “What if they try again?”

“They won’t, I promise,” he said soothingly, lacing his fingers in hers. “Tiny, do you trust me?” When she nodded, he led her toward the mess hall. “Then follow me… I have something I need to show you.” 

Trying to calm herself down, Sol followed John, looking curiously as he led her to the dextro cabinet. “I don’t understand,” Sol said quietly, looking around the room. “Everything is the same.”

“Not everything,” he said softly, pulling on the door and showing her that it was locked, then pointing to a tiny pin pad next to a lock. “Enter your birthday, Tiny.”  
  
She did as he asked, her eyes widening when the door made a tiny click and swung open. “What… how?”

John smiled. “I had Tali do it while you were with Gar,” he said softly. “I told her that a levo chocolate accidentally got into your cabinet, so I wanted to set something up to stop that from happening again. She gave each of you dextros a unique code.” Then he closed the cabinet, waiting for the click- before she could do anything, he leaned over and punched in a code. “And me and Janey got a code too.”

Glancing over at John and marveling at the amount of work he’d gotten done in such a short time, Sol just stared at him. “But why do you and Janey need a code,” she asked curiously. “You don’t need to be in here.”

“How else am I going to bring you food when you’re tired or not feeling well?” John asked casually, shoving his hands in his pockets and grinning at her. “I told you I was going to look out for you,” he said quietly, pulling her to him and resting his head against hers. “And I’d do it forever if you’d let me.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane couldn’t get back to her room fast enough, trying her best to not look like she was racing away from everyone. When they got back on the ship, Alenko tried to talk to her about something or other, but Nihlus deftly stepped in, blocking his path so Jane could make her way to her room. _I owe that turian a drink,_ she thought as she got into the elevator, the lieutenant’s distressed face clearly visible as the doors slid shut. Rationally, Jane knew she needed to find John and figure out just what the hell was going on, but she couldn’t make herself do it- the overwhelming fear that Garrus wouldn’t be in their room, or even worse, not okay, was gnawing at her nerves. _I have to see him_ , she thought anxiously, her foot tapping frantically against the floor. _I need to know he’s ok._

As soon as the doors opened, Jane flew into their room, collapsing on the floor with a sob of relief when she saw Garrus laying on the bed with a datapad in his hands. “You’re okay,” she cried, bringing her hands to her mouth and sobbing, unable to stop the flood of emotions from erupting. Jane knew she’d been holding on by a thread the entire day, and seeing her husband staring at her with concern in his bright blue eyes made her weak with joy and exhaustion. 

Garrus started to say something, but when he saw Jane drop to her knees, he slowly got out of the bed and made his way over, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “Hey,” he said softly, nuzzling his head to hers and wiping her tears with his finger, “I thought the great Jane Shepard-Vakarian doesn’t cry?” Then his nose scrunched up, and he tapped her on the forehead. “And why does my mate smell like a certain spectre?”

Jane laughed through her tears, throwing her arms around him. “I guess it’s because I didn’t have my husband there with me. Hell, you know how I get,” she quipped, wiping her eyes as she tried to calm down, “I had to make do with the only turian I had access to when I lost my shit out there,” she joked, tracing the markings of his face and convincing herself that he was real. “Gotta tell you, it doesn’t compare to the one I have here, though.” 

“I certainly hope not,” Garrus rumbled, pressing his face into her hair. “I was worried about you,” he murmured, pulling her against his chest plates. “I hate not being there with you, Jane.”

“I was worried about _you_ ,” Jane countered, clutching him tightly. “Are you ok? Do you need anything? What can I do?”

Garrus chuckled, pressing his lip plates to the top of her head as he picked her up. “Now that you’re home and you’re safe, I’ve got everything I need, Jane.” He smiled as he walked over to their bed, never taking his eyes off her face. “It’s ok,” he whispered, letting a soothing-sounding hum as he held her close. “I promise, you can relax now... I’ve got you, Jane.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the holiday season, y'all, and this year sucks, for real. So, I'm doing a little Shakarian Crafts giveaway for anyone reading! Wait, what is this witchcraft- are you really giving _free stuff_... for reading a _free story_... during my _free time_?
> 
> Damn straight I am- everyone deserves a little happy these days. Not that my internationals don't need it, but I can only open this up to US residents, cause of shipping, but know that I love you all to bits and pieces.
> 
> The deets:  
> I'm giving away 10 Mass Effect themed prizes to 10 random winners next week! 
> 
> Are you serious?  
> Totally. 
> 
> So, since this isn't a joke, how do I do it? How do I get stuff?  
> 2 things: you can a) leave a kudos, b) a comment, or c) a follow on Tumblr AND ENTER [using this entry form!](https://airtable.com/shrZ74xm3S68DqyTx)
> 
> What if I already do follow you/left kudos?  
> Works for me! The more you do, the more chances to win!
> 
> Can I gets info? What happens if I win?  
> [Check out the deetz on the entry form!](https://airtable.com/shrZ74xm3S68DqyTx)
> 
> Good luck, hope this seems fun to you guys, and I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes!


	39. Interrogations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John mulls over some details after getting a message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @rosebud1773 for the Nana convo... and putting up with my crazy getting this chapter together. I appreciate you not virtually hitting me upside the head :)

_ _

* * *

John lay in his bed, trying to relax a little. The events of the day had left him tired and exhausted, but he was trying to move past it. _I'm going to have a fuckload of crap to deal with when Janey wakes up_ , he thought as he placed a kiss on Sol’s head, gently stroking her cheek. The doctor had given her something to help her calm down and get some rest, so he'd stayed with her until she'd fallen asleep. However, John knew he still had things to do, so he begrudgingly untangled himself from the sleeping turian and made his way back to his room, his emotions a complete jumble. 

Sighing, John sat on the bed and ran his hands through his hair. _This whole situation is nuts_ , he grumbled to himself, bringing up his omni-tool and sending Sol a quick note to let her know where he was. But as John checked his unread messages, he saw one in particular that made him chuckle. 

_The Newton System? Are you really that stupid, boy? And what’s this I hear about the Vakarian girl? Little birds tweet and I’m listening. I expect some news… and soon._

_That crazy old bat... s_ _hould’ve known nothing was going to get past her for too long. Guess I better give her a call,_ he thought, punching in the code on his terminal for the asari. _She’s probably gonna be extra pissed I waited this long to reply, anyway._

Sure enough, the asari picked up right away, looking sleepy but no less alert. To his surprise, the area behind her looked old and comfortable, not sharp and cutting- _it looks like somewhere a grandma in one of Janey’s old vids would be,_ he thought with a frown. _What the fuck is she playing at this time?_

Before he could go any further, Nana’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Well… look who _finally_ decided to give ol’ Nana a call. Took ya long enough,” Nana grumbled, running her hands over her scalp tentacles. “Could’ve chosen a decent hour, but… well… this is _you_ we’re talking about.” 

He smiled, the familiar voice both irritating and soothing at the same time. “At least I bother to call your angry ass at all, right? Can a guy at least get points for trying?” 

"No." Nana stifled a yawn and scratched absently at her scalp. “What’s got your panties in a twist? Has to be something big or you wouldn’t be calling out of the blue.”

John winced. “Not out of the blue- you sent me a message, remember? Or are you finally going senile after all this time?”

Grumbling, Nana glared at him for a moment. “I have no intention of going senile, boy. I remember that message perfectly, but I sent it _hours_ ago. Thought you’d have had the sense to return it sooner.”

“I would’ve, but it’s been a shitshow around here,” John admitted. “Checking messages hasn’t exactly been high on my list today.”

“A shitshow, you say?” Nana asked, rubbing the back of her neck in an attempt to soothe some ache. “Your sister alright? Can’t imagine being so close to Akuze is doin’ her much good.”

“Considering the fact that I think someone onboard just tried to kill her husband, I’d say we’re due for a breakdown when she gets back on board,” John replied with a sigh, his nervous fidgeting undermining his casual tone. “Did you happen to send popcorn when you were stalking us? I think it’s gonna be quite the show.” 

“ _Excuse me, please!_ What do you mean ‘someone tried to kill’ Garrus? What kind of soldiers do you have serving on that bucket? _Goddess!_ ” Nana snapped, eyes narrowing as she leaned closer to the screen. " _Popcorn_ … ugh… must _everything_ be entertaining to you? I wouldn’t call this a show, boy.”

“The human term for it is ‘laughing to keep from crying’,” John replied wearily. “And if I take it any more seriously, I’ll be beating people within an inch of their lives, so yes, I’d say it _needs_ to be a goddamn show to me right now!” 

“How? You’re sure someone actually tried to off the boy?” The asari growled, her tone low as she locked eyes with him, her glare steady as she took a deep breath. “You were C-Sec… you have any ideas? I want him… or her… I’ll have their hide for messin’ with you kids.”

John grinned, shaking his head at the riled-up asari. “I _do_ have an idea as to what happened,” he replied, folding his hands and looking down. “Garrus had a nasty allergic reaction this morning… and it was serious, Nana. Like, life or death serious.” John blew out a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Like, if I wasn’t around types of serious…”

“ _Goddess!_ ” Nana breathed and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her hands over her face for a moment before her gaze returned to the screen. “Allergic reaction, you say? What kind of coward would stoop so low?” 

“Someone who thought it would be a good idea to lace the dextro chocolates with something,” John replied irritably. “Tiny said that they weren’t there the other day, but they were magically back this morning... and here we are, one half-dead turian later- you do the math.” 

She locked eyes with him again and nodded. “Good thing you were there, boy. Sounds like they laced it with the levo version. Few things between the two food groups that taste, smell, and look the same. _Chocolate… dammit_ … and of course, that’s one of them too. Just our luck that our boy has an evil sweet tooth for it,” the asari growled, tapping a finger against her lower lip. “You keep that boy away from the chocolate. Keep his sister away from it too.”

“Oh, I intend to,” John said darkly. “I _also_ put a lock put on the goddamn dextro drawer- this shit is _not_ happening again, I’ll tell you that fucking much.” 

“Good call, boy. Yeloris doesn’t need to lose one of her chicks like that. You figure out who… and I’ll peel their hide _clean_ off their bones.” a slow smile spread across her face then and she nodded. “Tiny, huh? That your new pet-name for Solana?”

Before he could stop it, John felt his face go flame-red. “I’ve always called her that,” he said cagily, not necessarily wanting to get into this just yet with the old woman. “She doesn’t mind.” 

“You keep an eye out, boy- you got more than one dextro on board that tin can of yours," Nana grumbled, scratching at a tentacle along the back of her neck. "Your Alliance doesn’t need another interspecies incident to add to the list.”

“You’re stressing, old woman,” John remarked, peering at her closely. “Not too much gets to you, but I can see you scratching at that scalp of yours like you got fleas- what’s on your mind?” 

“Watch it boy- I ain’t got fleas! And you’re damn right I’m stressed- I may not have squeezed the lot of you out, but you’re all _my_ brats! I’ll be _damned_ if I let anybody hurt one of you.” Smoothing her hands down over that twitching tentacle, she let out a sigh of frustration. “I can see it in your face- you got an eye on somebody, I know you do. Who is it, boy?”

Dodging the question for a moment, John tapped his fingers on his nightstand, trying to decide how he wanted to ask the question. “Nana, you’ve been around since the beginning of time, so I know you’ve seen how us lowly humans have managed our biotics over the years… what do you know about Brain Camp?” 

“Brutally strict, poorly managed, and begging for trouble,” Nana answered thoughtfully, giving him a suspicious look. “What could that barbaric excuse for a biotics training facility have to do with this?”

“Maybe something, maybe nothing,” John mused, waiting to see if she’d tell him anything else. As usual, however, the asari was holding the cards close to her chest, but he needed more information- John chose to bite the bullet and press her further. “Did you ever work there?”

“Straight and to the point… about time,” the asari grumbled, giving him a look that might have peeled the bark off a tree. “I was there. Replaced a turian instructor. Pain in the ass got himself killed by one of his students.”

Unwittingly, John raised an eyebrow and stared at Nana. “Did you ever meet this student?”

“I met a lot of students, boy… including Vyrnnus’ group.” Nana glared at him then, the light seeming to go on in her eyes. “You interrogating me?”

“I would never,” John said politely. “Just mulling over a few things… thought you might be able to shed some light on a few items I’m having trouble putting my finger on, that’s all.” He smiled back at Nana, then let his face relax even more. “Nothing to worry about.” 

“ _Ha!_ Famous last words, boy. Call it what you will then.” Nana barked a short laugh and settled back in her seat, clearly realizing he was going to continue questioning her. “There’s a question burnin’ in those eyes of yours. Spill it.” 

“What were those students like?” John asked thoughtfully, watching the asari closely. He knew that Nana realized what he was doing, but as long as she was willing to engage, he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. “Was there anything off about any of them? Anything that might have indicated something that big might happen?”

“Well… now, let me see…” Nana breathed, tapping her finger against her jaw. “Been awhile… but… There was a girl, a shy little thing… I think her name was Rahna. Heard Vyrnnus broke her arm before one of the boys killed him. Tenko? Linko… something… Maybe it was Stenko… Said it was an ‘accident’, but… I doubt that. The boy was infatuated with her. Wouldn’t surprise me if he did it out of spite.”

“You know exactly who it was,” John said mildly, watching her face. “You’ve never forgotten a single detail about _anything_ in all the years I’ve known you, Nana… why start pretending now?”

"Is that boy on that ship with you?" When John didn't reply, Nana made direct eye contact, letting a faint shimmer of biotic energy roll over her flesh. “He the one that poisoned the turian boy?" John swallowed, watching as her face hardened even more. "You know what I’ll do to him if he’s on that ship.”

“It’s a very distinct possibility,” he replied, trying very hard not to think about the hell Nana might raise if she ever got on board the Normandy. “Yes… he’s on the ship… and he’s got his eye on Janey. We’ve all told him she was married, but… he doesn’t seem to care.” 

“Well... I can’t say I’m thrilled to hear he’s ranked up enough in the Alliance to earn his way onto the Normandy, but he’s there… Explains why he’d poison Janey’s mate." The look on her face was one of pure disgust and contempt. "Sick little bastard got his eye on her… like that other girl, huh?” 

“It seems that way,” John said carefully. “Something’s off about the guy, Nana- I know I put on a good front, but _everything_ with him feels… _flat_. Like he’s pretending to do the appropriate thing at the right time. I mean, he even barged in on Janey and Gar when they were getting it on- he doesn’t seem to give a shit at all about what Janey wants, either. It’s just…” he let out an involuntary shiver, then returned his focus to the screen. “It’s not settling right. I don’t have proof, but… it’s like he wants Gar out of the way.” 

“Good… nothing about that boy should set right. He's a cold-blooded murderer if you ask me.” Nana grumbled, the gears in her head turning hard enough to be seen in the set of her face. “Hrmph… bargin’ in on those kids…. That just proves he’s got his sights set on her. Watch him, boy- he’ll make another play to bump her mate off when he realizes he’s failed.” 

“I told Tiny to tell anyone that asks that it was nothing too serious,” John replied, watching Nana closely. “Even let him go on the mission with Janey… with backup from Nihlus and Wrex, of course. Figured if anything was off, those two could smell it, right?”

“Well now…” Nana breathed with a nod, her face paling just a little. Her voice, when she spoke again, was tight. “Would that be _Urdnot_ Wrex?"

John raised an eyebrow at the asari, clearly interested and yet scared about where this might be going. “Yeah… big ass battle turtle, tries to eat anyone and anything that pisses him off?” He shrugged, glancing back at Nana. “He seems to like Janey and Sol just fine, though- I get the feeling he wants to shoot me in the face most of the time, but I take it in stride.”

“Uuugh… _goddess_ ….” Nana let out a breath as if someone had punched her in the gut. Bowing over, she rested her elbows on her knees and shook her head with a chuckle. “That’s Wrex, alright… I know for a fact, _he_ can handle anything that idiot boy might do on a mission with Jane.”

“Nana,” John said warningly, a sinking feeling in his gut as he watched her squirm in front of him, “did you boff my battle turtle?”

“I.... uh… well, _fuck_ , boy. Nosy much?” Nana growled as she stammered for a moment. “Tell your ‘battle turtle’ his former mate would like to hear from him… Asshole let me believe he’s been _dead_ since the Krogan Rebellion.”

He couldn’t help the smirk crossing his face. “Well well well… looks like _Nana_ got ghosted,” John mused, ignoring the death glare coming across the screen and secretly thanking whatever deity that might be listening that there was a galaxy between him and the old woman. “I’m not getting into that with him, Nana- I like my head right where it is, thank you very much. But, if he could survive going for a round with you, then I’m pretty sure he can handle a douchecanoe like Planko.” His face darkened a little, then he let out a sigh. “I want the asshole to think he won for a minute.” 

“Laugh it up, boy,” Nana grumbled and gripped her twitching tentacle roughly, frustration clear on her face. “He _survived_ more than a single round with me. He’ll deal with your little… well… whatever a _douchecanoe_ is… The boy steps out of line, Wrex may well eat him. Might eat you just for annoying him… _Ha!_ ”

“Don’t remind me,” John quipped, feeling a little better after talking with her. “So, level with me, Nana- how worried do I need to be here?” 

“On a _galactic_ scale? Shoot his ass now and be done with it.” Nana snapped, narrowing her eyes in speculation.

John frowned. “I’m not Alliance or a Spectre, Nana- I kind of like not having my ass in jail for murdering a lieutenant.”

“That Alenko boy’s dangerous. If he’s tried it once, he _will_ try again. Next time… well, you might not be there to save the Vakarian boy.” Nana sighed with a nod, obviously thinking about how best to handle the situation. “Accidents happen on missions all the time, boy. _Or_ …" her voice was practically a purr, reeking of the promise of bodily harm, "you could just put him off the ship, but give _me_ his location.” 

“You're a pain in my ass, but I’m not letting you get sent away for murder, Nana,” John said quietly. “I need to get rid of him… but I need a good enough reason that won’t come back to me, Gar, or Janey… or you.” 

“I’m a Justicar, boy. Untouchable… but… you wouldn’t know how the Code works. Make Alenko disappear… or _I_ will.” Nana reminded him. The smile she gave him a moment later was a clear change of gears. “That girl bondmark you yet? Those Vakarian kids seem to have a taste for humans… hell, maybe they just like the way you taste.”

His breath hitched at the statement, catching him off guard. “Haha, very funny, Nana.” John scowled at the Asari, not knowing where to put his face. “Anyway, I don’t think Tiny’s ready for something like that.” 

“If she’s anything like that brother of hers… it won’t be long," Nana snarked, obviously quite satisfied with herself. "Trust me in this- first time you bed her… she’ll mark you…” 

“I don’t know if I should,” John remarked, not hiding behind humor for once. “I know that turians get together for life, and I’m not sure if she’s gonna want to be tied down to me forever.” 

“Unless..." Nana laughed, nearly in tears at her own snark, "you have a serious case of dicky-don’t…”

“My dick works just _fine_ , thank you very much,” John shot back, his face turning scarlet- even if he deserved it for needling her earlier, it didn’t make the conversation any less embarrassing. “I’m just saying that I don’t want to hurt her.” 

“Then where’s the problem? You love the girl, don’t you? I know your track record sucks balls, boy… well… I hope, for her sake, not literally… Unless you plan to stick that little thing in your pants in every hole you can find, I doubt you’ll hurt the girl," Nana snarked, laughing hysterically. "Turians are tough. She’s more likely to hurt you."

“Yes, I love her, and _no_ , I don’t plan on fucking around on her,” John growled, instantly regretting every one of his life choices. “It’s just… Garrus made a good point- what happens after this is over? Does she go back to Palaven? What about her dad… is he going to disown her?” He grimaced, then let out a loud exhale. “For once, can something I touch _not_ go to absolute shit? Just _once_!” 

“Well, boy… if she loves you, she’ll sacrifice everything she holds dear for you. That’s just how turians are. Will she want her father’s approval? Sure. Will she get it? Well.. that remains to be seen… especially if I threaten to rip his plates completely off his hide… Idiot, pompous asshole that fathered those two.” Nana grumbled the last more to herself than him, but then she nodded and locked eyes with John. “Have you bothered to ask what _she_ wants?”

John shook his head, then sighed. “I’m terrified I’m going to say something wrong and fuck this all up… so I haven’t said too much of anything.”

“Idiot boy….” Nana sighed and shook her head. Her hand tugged at that twitching tentacle. “You humans and your communication constipation! _Talk_ to the girl! You know… that thing you do when your mouth develops a case of the runs. By the _goddess_! Do I have to come out there and wipe your ass for ya, boy?”

“You can stay exactly where you are,” John said dryly, rolling his eyes. “Look, I get it- I’m a dick. But Tiny is different… hell, if she came back with me and asked to stay, I’d do it without a second thought. Janey’s better at this than I am… she just accepts things. Me, if I can’t figure it out, I let it go...and I don’t want to do that with her.” 

“ _Talk to the girl_. She’s not a rabid varren, and she’s not likely to _eat_ you… you’d make her sick. Wrex… now he’d eat ya and not feel bad about it at all, but Sol… she’s a _girl_ \- what’s so different about that? Oh, and don’t you dare say you’re just gonna ‘let it go’," Nana scolded him. "I know you better than that- you get your teeth in somethin’ and you gnaw at it till you figure it out... should be the same with your relationships.”

“What if she says no?” The words finally came out, and hard though they were, they felt right. “What if this isn’t it for her?” 

“Well… then she says no… and you move on. I think you’re more afraid of her saying yes.” Nana hummed softly, resting her chin on her fist and smiling sweetly at him. “I can almost see it. The girl says, ‘ _yes, Johnny, yes, oh… yes_ ’... And….” the asari had raised her voice an octave and really laid it on thick, sighing, raising and flipping her hand at him. “You jump out the nearest airlock in complete and utter terror.”

“ _Ha_ fucking _ha_ ,” he growled, glaring at her. “Actually, if you _must_ know… I’d take a yes from her in a goddamn heartbeat- I just don’t want to do something that’s going to cut her off from her family. Garrus didn’t give a shit… she does.” 

Nana locked eyes with John as she rested her chin on her fist once more. “So… instead of owning up and actually talking to her about what she wants… you’d rather just sit there… like a bump. Or is it a pimple?”

John shrugged, staring at the floor. “It’s working so far.” 

“Oh yeah, I see just how well that’s working out for you. You’re miserable because you don’t know what she wants. She’ll be miserable because she doesn’t know what you want… Sounds like emotional constipation to me. Maybe… you should ask her what she wants and stop fucking around… or should I message her? Have her write you an entire log entry about her feelings, hmmm? Would that help?” 

John looked hopeful. “Do you think that would work?”

“Are you _three_ , Johnny? C’mon, boy… What is it you humans say… _man up?_ Do something or you _will_ lose her. She’ll walk away thinking you honestly don’t want her…. Because, wonder of wonders, you have forgotten how to run your mouth. _Goddess_ , I never thought I’d see that day,” Nana grumbled in exasperation. A heartbeat later, she smiled again and locked eyes with him. Obviously, a thought had struck her. “If you can’t talk to her… _show_ her. Turians _blow off steam_ all the time. A little sex never hurt anybody… certainly can’t hurt the two of you. Might even decide things for you both.”

John looked at the woman, aghast. “I’m not gonna ask the girl I’m trying to figure out _how to marry_ if she’s down to fuck, Nana!” He watched as the asari began to howl with laughter, tears streaming down her face. “ _Jesus fucking christ,_ why would you… you know what, never mind.” 

“Well… if you can’t bang her before you marry her…. How are you gonna bang her afterward? See, there’s a problem. Go do the girl… find out what she wants from you- relieve some stress.” Nana had an almost reasonable tone to her voice, but the smile from ear-flange to ear-flange said otherwise- she was enjoying watching him squirm.

“ _Fine_ ,” John snapped, getting her point. “I’ll ask her, ok? I’ll just sit on this goddamn tin can and hope to fucking high heaven that she doesn’t rip out my heart and shred it? Happy now?”

At that, Nana gave him a look that would melt dry ice. “Be tactful about it, boy… damn. I’m sure you didn’t just throw the concept up like so much vomit to the last girl you were with.”

“I just... with humans, it’s easy- you get a ring, some flowers, a dinner… but I’m on a _spaceship_ , Nana- hell, we know the candy out here is poison, there’s a million and one people around, and someone is trying to murder her brother- I’m not feeling like I’m setting the right mood, you know. I mean, do I need rings? Do I need-”

“Turians don’t care much for finger rings,” Nana purred, her eyes twinkling with mischief, “but… a mandible piercing, maybe...” 

“I’M NOT PIERCING MY GIRLFRIEND’S MANDIBLE!” John squawked, horrified by the thought. “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Well… don’t get your panties in a twist. They don’t all pierce a mandible. Some just wrap bands around the outer flange.” Nana laughed and sobered for a moment as she stared at him. “Look, someone is trying to _kill_ her brother… don’t you think she’s _terrified_ , looking at _all_ of you and wondering who she can trust?”

“She is,” he admitted, thinking back to her breakdown the other day. “But Tiny knows that she can trust me,” John replied without a second thought. “I’d never let anything happen to her.”

“She _doesn’t_ know that for sure, boy- you make your intent clear now… and _maybe_ she won’t look at _you_ with suspicion as well,” Nana said simply, giving him a hard look. “Honesty… from the heart is your best defense here, boy. In the meantime, you need to use those detective skills of yours to _prove_ … beyond a doubt… exactly who poisoned her brother- mark my words, you’ll win more than her trust with that kind of honesty.”

John blew out a shaky breath, staring at the old woman on the screen. “Yeah,” he said firmly, working to settle his nerves. “That’s something I can definitely do.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The giveaway is live- woot!  
> The deets:  
> I'm giving away 10 Shakarian/Garrus themed prizes at random next week! 
> 
> Are you serious?  
> Totally. 
> 
> So, since this isn't a joke, how do I do it? How do I get stuff?  
> 2 things: you can a) leave a kudos, b) a comment, or c) a follow on Tumblr AND ENTER [using this entry form!](https://airtable.com/shrZ74xm3S68DqyTx)
> 
> What if I already do this?  
> Works for me! The more you do, the more chances to win!
> 
> Can I gets info? What happens if I win?  
> [Check out the deetz on the entry form!](https://airtable.com/shrZ74xm3S68DqyTx)
> 
> Good luck, hope this seems fun to you guys, and I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes!


	40. Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is sowing discontent on the Normandy

_ _

* * *

Garrus didn’t know which was worse- recovering from the meds Chakwas had given him or the absolute nuclear meltdown Jane unleashed when John refused to tell her his suspicions the next day. He’d hoped they could have a civil breakfast, but that was dashed when his mate practically lept at her brother’s throat- thankfully, Garrus realized that she was not joking just in time to prevent her from slamming the recovering man into a wall. _Thank goodness we’re in here,_ he thought, watching as she stormed angrily out of the room. _That little show of hers would have made us the talk of the ship._

“Well, that went well,” John muttered, slowly exhaling as he turned to Garrus. “She didn’t pull a knife on me, so it already went better than most of our childhood fights.” He went back to eating his breakfast, ignoring the stunned expression on Garrus’s face. “What? When she calms down and realizes I’m right, she’ll be fine- no sense in worrying about it.” 

Garrus frowned. “You don’t think you want to tell her what you found?”

“You really want _me…_ to tell _her…_ that I think the lieutenant poisoned _you_? _And_ could’ve hurt or killed her sister or her friends?” John scoffed, his eyes going wide. “We’re still on this ship, Vakarian- you honestly mean to tell me you honestly think she’s just gonna take it with a smile and say “good work, Johnny, let’s nip off to the nearest Alliance planet and let them take him in for questioning?”

 _Spirits_ , Garrus thought, shuddering as he remembered how Jane handled Linia for _attempting_ to slap him. “She might shoot him on sight,” he admitted, glancing nervously at the door. “Though I don’t disagree with it, I think the Alliance might frown upon that.” 

“As do I,” John replied, folding his hands. “Just keep an eye on him,” he warned. “Nih and Wrex know what’s going on- I don’t want him to get the chance to be alone with her… or you.” John sighed, looking over at Garrus, his features dark, sallow, and tired- the turian could see that he was exhausted. “It’s not that I don’t think that she can’t handle herself,” he clarified, popping his pills and rolling his neck, “it’s just that I know what she’ll do- she’ll lash out first and worry about it later… which is exactly the wrong thing to do here.” 

“I’ll keep an eye out,” Garrus promised, nodding at his friend. “Go… get some sleep- I’ll call you if I hear where we’re heading.”  
  
“You better,” John replied with a yawn. “I’m cleared for duty, so I need to be out there with you guys instead of bench-warming in here.” 

“You know we can’t leave him on this ship,” Garrus warned. “My sister is here, John- I don’t want him to try to get to me through her. And if he so much as _looks_ at Sol…” 

He couldn’t stop the rumble from his sub-vocals, but it didn’t seem to matter- John’s mouth was set in a sharp line. “Already ahead of you, dino cat,” he said mildly, his tone at odds with the stiffness of his posture. “Nih agrees with you- he’s taking the plank with him and Ash when we head out again.”

“Good,” Garrus said, instantly feeling relieved. Though Kryik wasn’t his favorite companion by a long shot, he did trust him to do his job… and eliminate threats as necessary. “One less thing for Jane to worry about.” 

“That’s the goal,” John replied, yawning and patting him on the shoulder as he got up from his seat. “We just gotta hang on until we can get back to the Citadel… that shouldn’t be too bad, right?” 

At the mention of the Citadel, Garrus felt his stomach sink- in all the chaos, neither he nor Jane had gotten the chance to talk to him about his father’s machinations. _Now is not the time,_ he thought, looking at the bags under his friend’s eyes. _Let’s focus on the immediate fires… the rest of these problems will certainly be there later._

_ _

* * *

Jane was in the CIC, digging through files when a call came through on the comms. “Yes,” Jane snapped, not even looking up to see who it was. “What is it?” 

“Janey,” Anderson’s voice came over the speakers, causing her to look up and bite back a curse, “you doing all right over there?” 

“Just fucking peachy,” she growled, running her hands through her hair. When the man on the screen winced, Jane sighed. “Sorry, Uncle David,” she said wearily. “Been a rough go of things over here right now.” 

“Anything you want to talk about?” Anderson didn’t say anything for a few moments, no doubt trying to gauge her mood. When she didn’t respond, he nodded. “I have news on new geth movements,” he said, shifting the subject and getting to the reason for his call. “Remember that colony on Feros we were talking about?” 

“Yeah,” Jane said cautiously, sitting up straight and folding her hands. “What about it? I know they were out there building a new colony, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“The last transmission we got noted reports of geth activity in the area. The colony’s gone radio silent since then though,” he said darkly. “Think you might be able to check it out?”

“Only new lead I’ve got, so yeah,” Jane remarked, looking back at the captain. “Any idea what might be out there that Saren would want?”

“The colony is being built on the ruins of an old prothean city,” Anderson replied, ignoring the grumble coming from Jane’s throat. “Think you might be able to do some digging and see if there’s anything there he might be looking for?”

“Yeah,” she replied, forcing herself to think. Data… digging… recon… those are things I can do. “I know those goddamn trails of his by heart now- now that I have a direction, I can look while we travel out there. “  
  
Anderson nodded. “Good plan. Keep me in the loop- I might not be out there with you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not invested in what happens, Janey.”   
  
Finally, Jane smiled. “I know, Uncle David… knowing you have my back means a lot. I appreciate it… even if I’m a pain in your ass most of the time.” 

The older man shrugged, smiling kindly at her through the screen. “I’ve grown used to it by now,” he said with amusement. “If I want friendly and personable, I’ll reach out to John.” 

“Hey,” Jane said indignantly, scowling as Anderson laughed at her, “I can be friendly… when I want to be!” 

“Oh really?” Anderson looked at her with amusement. “How did you meet your husband, Jane?”

Feeling her face flush, she looked down at the table and tried not to bite her lip. “Mutual interests,” she replied huffily. “I fail to see how that’s relevant?”  
  
Anderson wasn’t letting up, clearly enjoying the opportunity to tease her. “So, you mean to tell me that the most meaningful relationship outside of ours and your brother starting because you can’t handle someone being better than you at something doesn’t seem a little bit telling to you?” 

“Now you’re just being mean,” Jane grumbled, crossing her arms. “I’m done being your punching bag- I’m leaving now.” 

“That’s right, leave right when I start turning the screws,” Anderson teased, laughing. “Give ‘em hell out there, Janey.” He paused, then smiled back at her. “Love you, kiddo.” 

“Love you too, Uncle David,” Jane said with a smile as she disconnected the call. _Guess I should get us out there_ , she thought, hitting the intercom. “Hey, Joker, I got a destination for you.” 

“Sorry commander, he stepped out for a minute,” Alenko replied from the comms. “Anything I can help you with?” 

“Nah, I need him to do his pilot-y thing,” Jane answered. “I’ll just wait for him to come back.” 

“Sure thing, but…” Alenko’s voice trailed off, then he sighed. “Do you have a minute to talk? Something’s been bothering me, Commander.” 

Jane wondered just what the man was about to say- he’d attempted to be a bit too touchy-feely with her while they were on the mission, and she didn’t want to have a conversation with him about it right now. _If he pulls that shit again, I will definitely tell him about it, but I’m really not in the mood to be gaslit today._ Sighing, she ran a hand over her face and put on a bright smile, hoping to settle into her commander persona. “What is it, Alenko?” 

“Um,” he said, then paused. “It’s going to be better if I show you.” 

Jane silently counted to five, then put on the brightest smile she could muster. “Well, you know where I am,” she replied, her voice full of false cheer. “Come on by when you have time.” 

“I’ll be right there,” he said, cutting the comms so quickly that Jane didn’t have time to blink. _And of course you’re heading right over,_ she thought irritably, tapping her hands on the console. _Why wouldn’t you give me a minute of peace or, you know, wait until I actually get a chance to talk to the pilot?_

“Commander,” Alenko said politely, walking into the comms room. “Look, I know this is bad timing, but I heard something… and I think you should know about it.”

Arching her eyebrow at the lieutenant, Jane settled back in her chair, crossing her arms. “I’m listening.”

Alenko sighed, then handed her a datapad. “I feel bad about this, I really do, but I found this near the CIC the other day… it was unlocked,” he said quickly, “but when I was looking to see who I should return it to, I found a few things.”

Her eyes narrowing, Jane slowly took the device. “Who’s is it?”

The lieutenant shifted uncomfortably under her stare. “It’s…Pressly’s, ma’am. I… thought you should know… in light of what happened with Vakarian the other day.”

Jane folded her hands and watched the man’s face for any clues- she wasn’t as good as John, but she had been known to terrify people. “What exactly do you think happened to my husband, Alenko?” Jane asked pointedly, noting his imperceptible flinch. “Do you have some information I need to know?” 

Alenko shook his head. “Just a feeling,” he replied, not meeting her eyes. “But that didn’t sit well with me, so I thought you should know.” 

Jane looked through the log, which mainly consisted of the navigator bitching about the ship being overrun with aliens… dated back when they first started. Nodding, she looked up, watching as the man in front of her stared expectantly. “This is interesting,” she mused, trying to sift through information and keep an eye on the lieutenant at the same time. “I appreciate your concern and bringing this to me…and I’m sure John will want to know about this.” 

_Judging by the smile on his face, you’d think I just gave him a commendation_ , Jane thought as she looked over Alenko. When he didn’t make any moves to leave, Jane cleared her throat. “I really do have to talk to Joker,” she said politely, shifting her gaze to the door. “Thank you again for your help, lieutenant.”

“Oh,” he stammered, his face turning red as he shuffled his feet. “Anytime, Commander.”

_ _

* * *

When the lieutenant made his way out of the comms room and headed back toward the cockpit, Nihlus slipped inside, making Jane jump. “You sneaky motherfucker!” Jane hissed, glaring at him angrily as she set the datapad on the table. “Ever hear of announcing yourself?”  
  
“That would defeat the purpose of stealth,” Nihlus purred, sitting across from her. “What did your lieutenant want?”

“If you saw him here, then I’m willing to bet you heard every goddamn word,” Jane replied, a small smile creeping across her lips as she punched a few buttons on her omni-tool. “Here.”

Wordlessly, Nihlus took the datapad from Jane, reading over the contents. _Yet another human holding baggage from the Relay 314 Incident_ , he mused, chuckling at some of the navigator’s more colorful observations about their alien members of the crew. Realizing where they were, he got up from his seat and walked over to Jane, draping his arm over her shoulder. “We should probably have this conversation elsewhere,” he said carefully, his voice low and next to her ear. “The walls in this ship have ears… namely your pilot’s.”

Jane grinned, then showed him her omni-tool. “Ordinarily, you’d be right, but John and I have a little insurance against that… this room is now completely secure… until I say otherwise.” 

Nihlus chuckled, then settled back into his seat. “Impressive,” he murmured, nodding at the smug-looking woman in front of him. “When this whole debacle with Saren is over, I may have some jobs for you, Jane.”  
  
“Always good to be appreciated,” Jane said teasingly, then leaned over to tap the datapad. “In the meantime, tell me what you think about this.”

“Just the ramblings of an old man,” Nihlus remarked, handing Jane back the pad. “There’s nothing here that would indicate the level of malice needed to commit a crime of this magnitude.”

“Is that a gut opinion or a fact?” Jane asked, her eyes hard. “I checked- the date on that is real. If there is even a possibility that he might have had something to do with this, then I need it looked into… quietly.” 

Nihlus raised his brow-plates at her and smiled, his mandibles twitching with interest. “Any reason you’re bringing this to me instead of John?”

“Just considering the source,” Jane replied, staring at the door and rubbing her arms. “He creeps me out, Nih...I’m constantly trying to tell myself that I’m overreacting, but…” She shivered, then looked back up at him. “If I tell John or Gar, they'll fly off the handle.”  
  
“But you trust me to get to the truth without killing him.” He didn’t bother to phrase it as a question since they both knew it wasn’t. “And if it is Pressly?” 

“Handle it,” Jane said tersely, typing something on her omni-tool. “Whoever did this tried to kill my husband, and they could’ve killed you, Tali, or Sol- I’m not exactly in a forgiving mood, Nih.”

Nodding, he got to his feet, then cocked his head at Jane. “Temper that anger of yours, Jane,” Nihlus warned, patting her on the shoulder. “The battle is still raging outside… we don’t need to start fires in here as well.” 

_ _

* * *

Joker glanced at the message from Jane, then started to enter in the coordinates to the Theseus system. “Looks like we finally got marching orders,” he said brightly, hoping to engage the irritated looking man in the chair next to him. “Good thing, too- all this sitting around was making me go soft.” He shifted in his chair, then grinned. “Be honest- did my ass get bigger?”

Alenko, however, was having none of it- he was too busy staring at the darkened screen. “What happened to the cameras and audio in the comms room?” 

“Hmm?” Joker leaned over, then nodded with understanding. “Oh, that… that’s a Jane Brain blackout- nothing to worry about.” 

Kaidan looked at him with confusion. “What do you mean?”

Joker raised his hand, then tapped on his omni-tool. “Our commander takes privacy very seriously around here… thanks to you,” he teased. “After you embarked on your rescue mission, Janey figured out how to turn off every comm and camera at will- even though it’s annoying as hell, I gotta admit... it’s pretty smart.”

The lieutenant frowned. “But what if we need her? What if it’s an emergency?”

Joker shrugged. “Shipwide comms are fine- I just don’t have eyes and ears, that’s all.” He laughed, settling back in his chair. “Besides, you did cause it- I should be mad at you for it.” 

Kaidan’s face darkened. “He was-” the man paused, then took a deep breath. “It looked like he was hurting her,” he said finally. “I didn’t want anything to happen to her.”

Looking over at the lieutenant and realizing that he really didn’t see anything wrong with what he’d done, Joker frowned. “Dude, she’s married,” he said slowly. “You do know that, right? Like, disgustingly happily married- I hate to break it to you, but you don’t have a shot in hell with her.” 

For a moment, the look on Alenko’s face was murderous, but it disappeared so fast that Joker couldn’t be sure he’d actually seen it. Instead, the man tapped the screen. “I get that,” he said slowly, “but have you seen how Kryik is with her?”   
  
Joker just stared at him. “Um, like a very murderous turian with the patience of a saint? I’m not quite following.”

Alenko shook his head. “Not just that…I was out with them the other day, and he was super protective of her, putting his arm around her, hugging her… I don’t know… it seems like they’re more than friends… and if she’s like that with him…” The lieutenant let his voice trail off, then turned away. “It’s just not the behavior I’d expect from someone as happily married as you say she is.” 

The pilot scoffed. “Trust me… there is nothing going on between her and Kryik- I know that for a goddamn fact. He’s just protective of her- they’ve known each other for a long time, that’s all.” 

Alenko smiled, but Joker noted that it wasn’t quite reaching his eyes. “That must be it, then- good to know our commander isn’t like that.”

“Yeah…I guess,” Joker replied warily, then turned back to his omni-tool. “Looks like you’re going to get the chance to ask him yourself- Jane just sent down team assignments.” 

“Huh?” He glanced down at his tool, then frowned. “Looks like I’m going to be on a team with Kryik and Williams,” he remarked. “Funny, I thought we all worked well together last time- I was hoping I’d get the chance to learn more from her in the field.”

“Hey, I don’t make the calls,” Joker replied. “Plus, John and Gar are back in action, so it looks like the dream team is back in rotation- looks like you’re on the B-team this round.” 

“B-Team?” Kaidan looked offended, but Joker just laughed- when the man next to him got enraged, he quickly shut up. “It’s not funny! I did not sit here and hone every skill I have to be replaced by that half-dead turian just because he plasters himself to her side every minute of the day!”

“Dude, chill,” Joker said nervously, holding up a hand. “They call Nihlus’s team the B-team- it’s a running joke between Johnny and Janey… you know, funny? Haha, no need to go human bomb and blow us all out of the sky, right?” 

“Oh,” Kaidan said shakily, running his hand over his hair. “Yeah, a joke… right. Sorry, I’m a little on edge lately- that last mission was a bit rough, you know?” He flashed a smile at Joker, who returned it. “Between that and my migraines, I’m running on fumes- not trying to take it out on you.” 

“It happens,” Joker said casually. “Water under the bridge.” He glanced over at the lieutenant, then cleared his throat. “You should probably get prepped and go talk to the turian- according to BB, he’s a bit of a hardass, so finding out what he needs upfront won’t be the worst thing, right?”

“Yeah, thanks… that’s smart thinking, Moreau,” Kaidan replied, giving him a bright smile as he got up out of the chair. “Guess that’s why you’re the one with the car keys, huh?”

“Damn straight,” Joker answered, turning back to the console. “Good luck out there today.” 

Kaidan waved as he left the cockpit and Joker sat in his chair for a few minutes, mulling over the events that just taken place. Finally, he sighed, taking off his hat and resting his head against the console for a few minutes before opening his omni-tool and sending John a message:

_I’m not saying anything one way or the other, but… you might just want to tell the big guy to be careful out there today._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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	41. Assignments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets their assignments for the mission on Feros

_ _

* * *

Sol just blinked at Jane, who was leaning against the wall with a smug look on her face. “I’m sorry,” Sol said carefully, looking at her sister and trying to see if she was being even remotely serious, “you want me to do _what?”_

“I don’t _want_ you to do anything,” Jane corrected, looking over at Sol, Tali, and Liara in turn. “I _need_ the three of you down there. That colony's been radio silent for way too long and someone could be hurt- you’re the best field medic I have, Tali’s the only one of you three I trust to aim a shotgun properly, and Liara has proven she’s strong enough to cover you. Plus, I know there’s not a shot in hell that you can’t work a gun, Sol.”

“I can, but that’s beside the point!” Sol stammered, turning to her friends for help. Unlike her, however, the two women seemed to be more than eager to get on the ground, which only made Sol even more nervous. “I’m not a solider, Janey!”

“That’s good… because I don’t _want_ another soldier,” Jane replied, patting her on her shoulder. “I _need_ a kickass medic with a team to keep her safe… and I trust these ladies just as much as you do.” She winked, then kissed Sol on the cheek. “Free ride’s over, sis- time to pay the piper.” 

“But…” Sol thought about it for a moment, then brightened as an idea came to her. “I don’t have armor! You can’t expect me to go down there without it, right?” 

“Oh, my dear, sweet sister,” Jane replied, her voice oozing honey, “did you really think I couldn’t find out your measurements and get you some ordered?” She crossed her arms and smiled. “If you ever bothered to visit the cargo bay, you’d have noticed that you have a locker just like the rest of us.” When Sol frowned, Jane softened. “I can’t have you on this ship without making sure you’re prepared for anything, kid- you’re family.” 

“I know,” she replied. “I’m just nervous… like you said, I’m not a soldier, Janey. What if I mess up or-”

“You’re a Vakarian… that’s good enough for me,” Jane said firmly, staring directly at her. “Can I count on you out there? I need to know if my sister can handle this part of the mission so I can focus on everything else.” 

Despite the rolling dread in her stomach, Sol nodded. “I can do that for you.”

Tali put a hand on her shoulder, then turned to Jane. “We can help her out- you go do what you have to do, commander.” The quarian then turned back to Sol, who was trying to stop her pulse from racing. “It will be fun!” 

Liara nodded, but Sol frowned. “You and I have vastly different definitions of fun,” Sol grumbled as Jane walked away. “I’m not sure I’m the right one to do this.”  
  
“Jane wouldn’t let you do it if she didn’t think you were capable,” Liara replied, gathering her notes into neat little piles. “Or if it weren’t important.” 

“And the concentration of geth in the area must be high indeed,” Tali mused, twisting around in the chair. “Otherwise, she would have made you go with Nihlus.” 

“This is sounding better and better by the minute,” Sol grumbled, shutting down her reports and letting out a small chuff. “I’m thinking I’d rather stay onboard the Normandy, thank you very much.”

“Too bad,” Tali said lightly, getting up and practically bouncing around the room. “It looks like we’re up for a mission, and I, for one, don’t intend to mess up the chance to get out there because you’re being all morose!” When Sol sighed, Tali put her hands on her shoulder, forcing the turian to stare at her face mask. For the umpteenth time, Sol wished she could see what her friend looked like beneath the tinted glass, and she made do with imagining a face looking back at her with warmth and concern. “We can do this, Keelah,” she insisted, her voice strong and firm. “I know we can.” 

“I’m glad you think so,” Sol replied, looking down at her feet and chirping softly. “Let’s just hope you’re right.” 

_ _

* * *

John pulled on his armor, watching the turian spectre with disbelief. “Did that asshole really just start finger-pointing at the racist grandpa?” 

Nihlus raised his eyebrow, then nodded. “I have to admit, it might have even been a viable alternative… if his scapegoat had any idea dextros ate chocolate.” 

John finished getting into his suit and stared at Nihlus with confusion for a second, then turned to Garrus, who was checking over his rifle. “This shit is getting crazier by the second- looks like he’s also trying to shift fingers at you too, Kryik.”

“Really?” The spectre crossed his arms, a displeased-sounding hum rumbling through the room- from behind Nihlus, John could hear Wrex chuckling. “How so, John?” 

“Garrus and I talked to Joker while you were briefing everyone,” John replied, glancing over at Vakarian- the turian was quiet, but he was paying attention to every word and watching Nihlus closely. “Apparently, he made it a point to note how close you and Jane were on the mission the other day.” 

“The turian is in the clear,” Wrex interjected, walking over to them and leaning against the bench. “Smells like that pyjack is trying to play us all against each other… which is fucking stupid.”

“It seems that he thinks that just because I don’t like Kryik, it means that I don’t trust him… or my mate.” Garrus rolled his eyes. “Nihlus may be insufferable, but he is a turian… and he has honor- I trust him with Jane’s safety because _she_ does… and I trust her judgment.” 

John blinked, staring at the turian for a few moments. “Not that I disagree, but that’s… incredibly reasonable of you, Gar… it’s a far cry from the guy who was ready to bite this asshole’s head off back in the day.” 

Nihlus let out an amused-sounding hum as he looked over the three of them. He opened his mouth to say something but then shook his head, obviously thinking better of it. “Good to know I’ve earned your trust… and I will not abuse that,” he said stiffly, looking down at his feet. “Times are too turbulent right now, and we have enough discontent in our ranks as it is.”

“Eh, don’t mention it,” John said casually, knowing Nihlus wasn’t talking to him but wanting to save the turian the embarrassment. “Anyway, I can’t have you going soft on me right now- looks like you’re up, Kryik.” He slapped him on his shoulder, earning a piercing glare from the spectre. “Time for you to show the weasel some of our cards.” 

Garrus frowned. “Not clear on what you mean, Shepard.” 

Wrex let out a laugh, then shook his head. “The whelp wants the turian to tell Alenko he knows what he did… he’s trying to test the waters a little.” Then the krogan looked at Nihlus, his expression serious. “You know he’s not gonna take too kindly to that… might even ‘forget’ to give you cover out there if something goes wrong, Kryik.” 

“I don’t doubt it,” John replied darkly, then turned to Nihlus. “So, I hate to do this to you, but I gotta saddle your team with one more, Nih.”  
  
Rolling his eyes, Nihlus sighed. “Who else do you _possibly_ want me to deal with- I’m already managing Williams-” Wrex started to laugh, but Nihlus shot him with a scathing look and the krogan looked away. “-and you’re asking me to deal with the idiot lieutenant as well. What other inane ideas do you have stored in that brain of yours, Shepard?” 

“Jenkins,” John replied, earning a chuckle from Garrus- the private was enthusiastic on the best of days, but when the subject of Nihlus came up, the man was downright effusive. “He’s Alenko’s friend but he adores Kryik, so even if the asshole _wanted_ to do something, he won’t risk the private leaping in front to save him.”

The spectre rolled his eyes, but then he nodded. “Duly noted. But, that also brings up a different problem,” Nihlus said casually, then lowered his voice. “If he is guilty, how do you propose I... _handle..._ the situation with Williams and Jenkins around?” 

“Oh, I don’t want _you_ to handle it,” John replied evilly, knowing the smile on his face didn’t match the steel in his eyes. “I want you to bring him to me.” 

_ _

* * *

Sol’s sub-vocals were all over the place as they made their way to the comms room. _You’re trained to be in the field,_ she told herself, checking to make sure her medical equipment was secure and in place. A _nd Chakwas has taught you a lot about the differences in humans- you know enough to help… Janey wouldn’t bring you out here if she didn’t think you could do it._

“Oh man, this is so exciting! We’re on a team with _Kryik!_ ” The soldier, _Jenkins… that’s his name_ , was effusive, the lightness of his steps directly at odds with the heaviness of hers. “Man, this is going to be awesome- I finally get to get back out there and _do_ something!” 

The man next to him just smiled, pausing to glare at Sol as he walked past. Noticing his nasty look, Sol frowned, her mandibles twitching in confusion. _I don’t understand,_ she thought, watching the two men walk past. _I’m always nice to him when he comes into the medbay… did I do something to offend him?_

“Don’t think too hard on it, Little Turian,” Wrex said quietly, placing a hand on her arm. “The human is just throwing a temper tantrum…” His red eyes followed the man and he let out a low growl. “...like the pyjack he is.” 

“Thanks,” Sol said, looking up at the krogan with relief. Grateful for his support but knowing he needed to be with Jane, she sighed. “I thought Janey was doing roll call- don’t you need to be up in the front with her?”

Wrex just laughed and shrugged. “I leave the ship with her,” he rumbled. “If the commander doesn’t want to lose her gigantic shield, then she can wait…cause I had business to attend to first.” He smiled at her and she let out a chirp of relief, relaxing for the first time since Jane had informed her of the plan. “You’re gonna be fine, kid- we wouldn’t have you out here if we didn’t think you could handle it. Just do your job, that’s all… and call us if you need anything- your sister hooked up the comms in your suit so we’re all on the same channel by default.” He started to say something else but Jane had started to speak, so he punched her lightly in the arm and made his way to the front, leaving her alone with Tali and Liara. Giving the women a shaky smile, they all found seats, watching intently as Jane started to speak.

“Okay, listen up,” Jane called out, looking over the large group. “I usually don’t run missions this big, but we got a host of fucking problems out here. This was a big colony… and it’s gone silent after we heard about a slew of geth attacks- for all we know, they’re still attacking.” Jane looked around the table for a moment, letting her eyes rest on everyone- Sol swallowed nervously. “Yes, we’re here to stop Saren, but we cannot let these colonists down- if there’s a way to save them, then we’re doing it.” 

“Understood,” Nihlus replied, tapping his talon on the table. “But the question remains- why is Saren interested in this little Alliance colony?”

“Because of this,” Jane replied, broadcasting an image on the screen. “Turns out-” 

“It’s on a prothean ruin,” Liara breathed, cutting off Jane and standing up from her seat, hovering her hand over the images. “Imagine the history this place must hold!” 

At that, Jane paused, then looked over at Johnny for a minute before turning back to Liara. “Change of plans- Liara, you’re with me. Johnny, you’re with Sol and Tali.”

Kaidan went red in the face. “Commander," he said, his voice strained, "if you want your brother to stay behind and assist the medical team, I’d be happy to accompany you-”

“I have what I want,” Jane said pointedly, fixing her attention on the lieutenant. “Thank you for your concern, but I need your skills on Nihlus’s team, Alenko.” 

He started to say something else, but the look on Jane’s face must’ve made him reconsider. “Understood, Commander.” 

Sol didn’t want to look at anyone- she was sure her neck had to be bright blue right now. _I’m on a mission with Johnny,_ she thought. _I have to show him I can do this…_ ”

“Keelah,” Tali whispered as Jane started to go over the notes she had for the colony with Liara, “are you going to be able to focus if your mate is assigned to assist us?”

“Janey and Gar do it all the time,” Sol replied without thinking, only realizing her mistake when the quarian just paused, a smugness radiating off her. “He’s _not_ my mate,” she hissed, hitting Tali in the leg. “You need to stop doing things like that!” 

“Sure he isn’t,” Tali teased, going silent when the room went quiet and Jane shot the two of them a scathing look. “Sorry,” she said apologetically, lowering her head. “Our apologies, commander.” 

“No worries,” Jane replied, the sternness of her tone only undercut by the teasing glint Sol recognized in her eyes- by the looks of it, her sister knew exactly what they’d been discussing. “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.” 

_ _

* * *

Seeing as there hadn’t been a completely smooth mission yet, Garrus had expected problems. Between Alenko’s treachery, Sol and Tali’s inexperience, and the tension simmering between Jane and John, he wasn’t exactly surprised at his mate being on edge as they left the ship. The man greeting them to the colony wasn’t exactly putting him at ease, either. He was polite enough, but there was a twitchiness to him- it was as if his words were coming through a filter. 

What had surprised him, however, was the geth swarming the dock, shooting the man in the back before anyone had the chance to react. “Take cover!” Garrus yelled, dragging Jane behind a cement pillar and taking out two troopers without a second thought. _Thank the spirits for these comms,_ he thought as the voices of their crew filtered through his ears, allowing him to relax when he heard his sister report in. He took two more shots and killed the remaining troopers, noting with pride that Jane had handled most of the remaining enemies in the nearby vicinity. 

“Dream team, in front,” Jane barked. “B-team, you’re bringing up the rear, medical, stay in the middle- Johnny, I want you blasting whatever you find like it fucking owes you money, understand?”

“Got it,” John replied, and Garrus noticed that the man had extended his shields to cover Tali and Sol as well. _She’s safe_ , Garrus thought with relief, watching as John blocked Sol as she loaded her gun. _He’s not going to let anything happen to her._ “Ready when you are, Jane Brain.”

“Good,” Jane replied, reloading her gun. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

They raced toward the steps in formation, taking out the straggling geth that popped up in their path. Garrus had forgotten how efficient Tali was- the quarian was doing more than her fair share of work in destroying the interlopers, and he was also pleased to note that his sister hadn’t frozen under the stress. Sol was quiet, but she was using all the tricks that their father had taught them- the young turian didn’t take many shots, but when she did, she made them count. “Nice shooting, Sol,” Garrus said playfully, taking aim at a geth scuttling down the stairs at them. “I might actually believe you’re a Vakarian for a minute.” 

“Shut it, Gar,” Sol shot back, taking aim and blasting a trooper coming up over the railing. “Some of us are actually trying to work here!”

“And you _both_ can be quiet,” Alenko snapped, earning a confused look from Liara and a glare from Jane as they made their way to the stairs. “Unlike you, some of us are trying to-”

Before the lieutenant could continue his rant, Garrus saw John let out a burst of biotic energy nearby, grabbing something that had leaped down on them from the ceiling. _“Jane, skeet!_ ” John yelled, using his biotics to launch the offending geth into the air. Without a second thought, Jane raised and fired her gun, sending a bullet into the creature that caused it to tumble harmlessly to the ground. “Whew,” John huffed, resting against the wall. “Glad you still remember that, Jane Brain.” 

“Saved our asses then, saved ‘em now,” she replied, taking his hand and clapping him on the back. “You alright there?”  
  
“Just surprised,” John replied. “Those things were fucking fast- wasn’t expecting that.” 

“Well, good looking out,” Jane replied, frowning over at Alenko- immediately, Garrus knew why. _You’re in the rear position,_ he thought angrily. _You should have been able to see that… and you might have if you weren’t so busy snapping at Sol and me_. “Looks like the way ahead is pretty clear- we’ll take point, but I need the rest of you to pick off any stragglers. John, as much as I hate to give up trade secrets, maybe you should cue in the other biotics on that move- looks like that tactic might come in handy out here.” 

“If I must,” John said teasingly, earning a slap on the arm from Jane as he gestured for Alenko and Liara to come over. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t already do everything for you around here.” 

“Asshole,” Jane mumbled, but there was no heat behind her words. As the biotics talked amongst themselves and Wrex and Nih scanned the area, she looked over to Garrus, switching off her comms. He paused for a moment, but when she glanced at his omni-tool and looked back up at him, he got the hint and did the same. Once she was sure it was off, she looked back at him. “You caught that, right?”

Looking over at the others and making sure no one was actively paying attention, Garrus cocked his head, pretending to reload his gun. “That based on position, Alenko should’ve seen that thing before Johnny?” When Jane nodded, Garrus let out a low growl. “I don’t trust him, Jane- he’s not playing for the team.”

“Me neither,” Jane grumbled, getting to her feet. “I’ll tell you one thing- I’ll be glad when Nih takes him… that man makes my skin crawl. I don’t like leaving Alenko with Nih, but… and I can’t believe I’m about to say this… at least I know Ash will watch his back.”

Happy to know her instincts were spot on, Garrus nodded. “Just keep your eyes open and stay sharp, Jane,” he murmured, watching as the others returned to their positions. “But, in the meantime,” he replied as he switched back on his comms, nodding at Jane to do the same, “it seems like we found the rest of the colonists.” Garrus frowned as his eyes swept the area, taking note of the bedraggled-looking people and sparse fortifications. “And based on the state of their defenses… it looks like we got here just in time, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The giveaway is still going, but it closes on 12/2!
> 
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	42. Reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teams split off and handle tasks on Feros; Nihlus has discussions with some of the members of his squad

_ _

* * *

NIhlus looked around at the decimated colony, trying to take stock of everything going on around him. The people were all shell-shocked, trying to cope and lashing out at Jane and John. _They expected the Alliance to help them_ , he mused. _Colonies like this never seem to realize that they’re not as important as they hoped they were._

“Gotta hand it to these guys,” Ash mused, walking up to his side and looking around the crumbling structure, “they’re some tough bastards for surviving like this, I’ll give them that.” 

For the first time since they arrived, Nihlus allowed himself to smile. “They would have to be,” he replied, bumping her lightly with his shoulder. “This life isn’t for the weak, Ash.” 

She raised an eyebrow, then bumped him back as she turned off her comms. “Thought you were all prim and proper outside of the bedroom?” He shrugged, then gave her a slight twitch of his mandible, causing her to chuckle. “You talk as if you know this shit first hand, Nih.”

Sighing, he nodded and turned off his as well. “Grew up in something similar to this, actually… it seems a turian outpost isn’t that much different from a fledgling human colony.” 

“You did alright,” she remarked, looking him over. “Couldn’t have been all that bad, right?” 

“Better than some, worse than most,” he replied, folding his arms. “I made it out.” Staring ahead, he hoped she would drop the subject- it was one he hadn’t focused on in a very long time, and he had no intention of delving into those memories here. “Are you ready?” 

“Hey, no arguments from me,” Ash said with a wink. “I’m just following orders like a good little soldier today- I’m taking advantage of the fact that no one seems to be pissed at me for once.” 

The turian turned to her at that, curious about her statement. “What do you mean?”

She snorted. “C’mon, Nih- everyone knows you get the rejects,” she said dismissively. “Jenkins is so green I could plant the motherfucker, and every time I see Alenko, he looks like something just crawled up his ass and died- you can’t tell me something isn’t going on around here.”

Nih turned to her, feeling a sense of pride as he stared at the soldier- _she may be brash, but she isn’t stupid,_ he thought proudly. “Clever girl,” he mused, letting a pleased-sounding rumble escape his sub-vocals. “You’re observant, I see.” 

“If you aren’t observant, you end up dead,” Ash said quietly, watching Alenko and Jenkins as they talked to the colonists. “And any fool with eyes can see you’re planning something.” 

“What do you think you know?” Nihlus asked, leaning down toward her ear and lowering his voice. “Tell me… what do those senses of yours tell you, Ash?” 

To his surprise and delight, he saw the woman shiver- he took a deep inhale, delighting in the scent of her arousal wafting up to his nostrils. “He missed that geth earlier because he was bitching on the comms,” she said quietly, subtly shifting her stance. “If I had done something like that, I’d still be pulling your foot out my ass, but here you are, letting it go like nothing happened.” She turned to him, her brown eyes searching over his face for any indication or confirmation, but the turian refused to give her one. “What’s your game, Nih?”

“Can I trust you?” Nihlus asked softly, dodging her question and letting his eyes focus on her face for a moment. “If something were to happen, could I count on your support?” 

“Damn straight,” she replied firmly, her gaze locked tight to his. “You’re the only one out here looking out for me- no matter what, I’ve got you covered, Nih.”

“Good,” he replied, looking over at the lieutenant. “Because I need you to put those observation skills of yours to work now, Ash- keep an eye on things out here… and if you see anything, no matter how insignificant… let me know.” 

_ _

* * *

Even though he knew that it was the best thing to do, John couldn’t help but feel a sense of trepidation. They had repelled yet another attack from the geth, but the leader of the colonists informed Jane that more geth were hiding in the tunnels. _I should be with her,_ he thought as he watched them head out. _This just feels wrong._

“We’re glad you’re with us,” Tali remarked, startling John out of his thoughts. “Having you help us get these people back on their feet will be useful, John… and I’m sure _Sol_ appreciates having you around as well.”

Blushing slightly at her words, John ran a hand over his hair. “Yeah, well, I’m happy to help,” he said politely, watching the quarian carefully. Her mask made it impossible to tell what she was thinking, but he noted from the way she was shifting from foot to foot that something was on her mind. “Out with it,” he said mildly, making sure to keep an eye on Sol as she talked with the leader. “What’s on your mind, kid?”

“Who, me?” Tali asked innocently, her voice light and sweet. “Oh, _nothing_ … just wondering if you needed to go help Sol at all… I’m _sure_ she could use your help.”

John just laughed, shaking his head at the quarian. “And you’re trying to play matchmaker during a mission because…” 

Tali gave a frustrated huff. “Because you’re being a bosh’tet, that’s why! Everyone around here knows she wants to be your bondmate, but you’re dragging your heels around here like a wounded varren!” She slapped him in the arm, then squared her shoulders- John got the distinct feeling she was glaring at him. “Go! I’m going to talk to the woman about her generators, so _you_ can go _talk to Sol!_ ” 

“But-” he started to protest, but the quarian was already pushing him toward the turian and grunting with the effort. Unwilling to let the girl hurt herself, John laughed and started walking on his own. “I get it, I get it! I’m going right now, no need to give yourself a hernia, kid.” 

“Hmmph,” Tali replied, crossing her arms as she turned on her heels. “Stupid male… doesn’t even realize…”

Her voice trailed off and John shook his head, walking over to Sol and resting a hand on her shoulder. “‘Sup, Tiny,” he said cheerfully, then gave her an exaggerated bow. “I am but your humble servant today- what does milady need me to assist with?” He extended his elbow out to her, smiling when she laughed and took it. “Who’s first on the doctor’s list today?” 

“Um,” Sol replied, looking around, “it seems like we have a few injuries from the geth attacks… I should probably start there, right?”

“You’re the lead,” John said, gesturing for Sol to show him where to go. “I’m trusting you on this one.” 

She let out a nervous little chirp but guided him toward the wreckage of a downed freighter. “They’re all in here,” she said softly, her voice barely a whisper. “I’m… I’m supposed to look them over, but I’m not a human doctor, Johnny- what if I miss something? What if-”

Pausing for a moment, John guided Sol to an out-of-the-way corner. Once he was sure they were alone, he pressed his forehead to hers. “You were an amazing doctor to me,” he murmured, kissing her and holding her face in his hands. “You’re gonna be fine... I know you will.”

“Do you really think so?” Sol’s bright blue eyes were nervous, darting across his face. “I just don’t want to mess this up, Johnny.” 

“You can’t,” he assured her. “We’re the ones they’re counting on for hope and help- no one else is coming, Tiny. These people are counting on us to keep them healthy and safe, so no matter what, you coming in and trying is better than the Alliance doing nothing. But,” he said quickly, rubbing her shoulders as he guided her inside, “I’ve seen you work- you’re good at this. And I’m not just saying this because I love you and I don’t want you to hurt me… I’m saying this because it’s true.”

“Okay,” she said, straightening up and looking around. “I can do this… I am still a medic, and I know what to look for…” Then she turned to him with an apologetic look on her face. “Do you mind coming with me? You know, just in case they say something I don’t know?”

“Tiny,” John said happily, pressing a quick kiss to her brow, “you should know by now that you don’t ever even have to ask me that.”

_ _

* * *

As they descended into the tunnels, Liara and Jane were in front, while Garrus and Wrex were watching the rear. By this point, seeing the swarms of geth no longer phased him- he’d learned how to take them down efficiently, working to keep his mind steady. Nihlus and his team had taken another path, but the comms were on- as far as he could tell, everything was going just fine… which made him even more nervous. 

Switching off his comms and gesturing for Wrex to do the same, Garrus glanced over at the Krogan. “Does the fact we haven’t heard anything yet unnerve you a little?” 

“Calm down, Vakarian,” Wrex huffed, watching as Liara lifted a geth and Jane quickly finished it off. “The whelp has a plan.” 

“I understand that,” Garrus said tersely. “However, I would like to know for sure if the man we’re living with is a murderer!”

“Hell, that’s easy,” Wrex replied. “We already know he is- we just need to know if he’s trying to kill you.” 

“Very funny,” Garrus said dryly, taking out a geth that was trying to snipe at them from the balcony. “You know what I mean, Wrex.”

“I do, but what does it change if you know now or later?” Wrex asked as they moved forward. “Whether the pyjack confesses or not, you’re still in here and he’s still out there- you can’t help the turian from here, so why stress about it? Save that focus for your mate out there- she needs it more than he does.” 

“You’ve got a point,” Garrus replied, halting as he switched his comms back on and noticed Jane and Liara holding at the doorway. “What’s going on?” 

“There are three big-ass krogan hanging out in there,” Jane whispered, looking over at Wrex. “Friends of yours?” 

“Only if I get to kill ‘em,” the krogan replied, smiling menacingly as he prepped his gun. “What’s the plan, Shepard?” 

“Ultimately? Destroy that beacon,” Jane replied, looking over the room. “That’s gotta be what’s signaling them to come down here- we destroy it, we stop these fuckers from making this place their newest vacation spot.” Thinking about it for a moment, she paused, then looked between him and Wrex. “Think you two can take out those three bastards while we destroy that beacon?” 

Garrus looked over at the krogan, then nodded- though he didn’t want to see her go off on her own, he knew that she was strategizing. _The last thing I want to do is have her think I don’t trust her decisions… no matter how worried I am._ “If Wrex can keep up with me, then no problem,” Garrus replied, glancing over at his mate and trying his best to look confident and reassuring. “Go… I know you can do this, Jane.” 

“Damn right I can,” Jane said with a grin as she charged off, dragging the confused-looking asari behind her. 

“Your mate should’ve been a krogan,” Wrex said with a laugh, prepping his gun. “Why’d a woman with such a quad end up with a whelp like you, anyway?”

“I ask myself that same question every day,” Garrus replied, taking a shot and nailing one of the krogan warriors. “But I’m happy that she did.” 

_ _

* * *

Nihlus looked at the yammering man, wondering just what was wrong with him. He’d been speaking nonsense ever since they found him in the tunnels, making him more than a little uneasy. However, even though he was uncomfortable, Nihlus was never one to turn down an opportunity when it presented itself- so, he decided to take the chance, circumstances be damned. He looked over at Ash for a moment, then cleared his throat as he typed something on his omni-tool. “Jenkins, this man needs medical attention- I need you to go and bring Miss Vakarian back here, quickly- We’ll hold the position here in case any more Geth show up.” 

The private gave a snappy salute and a beaming grin spread across his face before he caught himself. “Yes sir! Right away!” 

As Jenkins scampered off, Ash moved to stand with the chittering man, but Alenko frowned. “Why are we bringing them here? Shouldn’t we just take him back to camp and be done with it?” 

Nihlus raised his brow-plates and turned to the man, his expression hard- from his right, he heard Ash let out a low whistle, and he could’ve sworn he heard the woman mutter ‘your funeral, buddy’, but he chose to ignore it. Instead, he let out a low growl that sent an involuntary shiver down the lieutenant’s spine, walking over to him and leering down at him, dropping something near his feet. “Are you questioning my orders, Lieutenant?” Alenko started to say something, but the rumble coming from Nihlus made him snap his mouth shut. “Williams,” he said tersely, “when I run ops, does my team question my orders?” 

“No, sir,” Ash said quickly, glaring at the man. “Questions get you killed- moving as a unit gets the job done.” 

“Exactly,” he purred, letting a predatory smile creep across his face. “So, what makes you think that you, a man who barely goes out into the field, have the authority to question my orders, Alenko? Were you secretly made a spectre without me being aware of it?” 

“No,” he replied tersely, his jaw set in a firm line. “I was only trying to point out that-” 

“Oh, so you have a medical degree now, is that right?” He moved to the right of him, checking his scent the entire time- as he hoped, the scent of sweat and eezo was pooling around the man’s collar. _He’s getting frustrated,_ Nihlus mused, clasping his hands behind his back as he made his way to Ash, turning off his comms. _He doesn’t like being talked down to… and especially not when it’s done by a turian._ “Turn off your comms and be ready to draw if need be,” he whispered as he passed her. “Tap your finger against your side if you understand.” 

Without a word or hesitation, Ash tapped her finger against her side, and Nihlus prayed to the spirits the woman would play along. “Good girl,” he said loudly, watching Alenko the entire time. “She’s not stupid enough to question an order from me… are you?” Watching as the lieutenant grew tenser by the second, Nihlus grabbed Ash by the neck, holding her face between two talons. “You see, we’ve had these kinds of discussions before…” Pausing for a second to fix Alenko with a wicked-looking stare, he dragged his tongue across Ash’s neck, making her shiver. “She’s… _learned_ how to listen.” 

“You… _bastard_ ,” Alenko hissed, letting his biotics start to flare up around him. But before he could do anything, the proximity mine next to him detonated, causing the lieutenant to go as still as a statue and making his face turn murderous. “What did you just do to me?”

“Special mine for human biotics,” he replied, watching as the man struggled to move. _Works just like she said it would_ , Nihlus thought appreciatively. _I really do owe that quarian and John a drink when we get back._ “Now that you’re a bit more amenable, I’d like to ask you some questions.” He turned to Ash, who nodded. “Sorry to use you in such a way, Williams, but I needed to be sure he’d react- can you please get behind him? Oh, and if he makes one wrong move… you are under my authority to shoot him.”

“You got it, sir.” Ash moved behind Alenko, her pistol at the ready. “I’d start listening if I were you,” she hissed in his ear. “Kryik doesn’t _ever_ get this pissed- whatever you did must be pretty damn bad.”

“Why are you doing this?” Kaidan pleaded, his eyes going wide. “All I did was ask a question- why are you trying to kill me!” 

“Oh, you’ve misunderstood,” Nihlus purred, leaning into Alenko’s face. “I’m only going to do that if you lie to me… and you should know by now that turians hate liars, Alenko.” He took a deep inhale, carefully watching as the man’s eyes went wide with terror. “And I’m pretty good at telling when someone is lying to me.” 

“But I haven’t lied about anything,” the man howled, his cries echoing off the cavern walls. “Williams,” he pleaded, “I know he’s making you do this… please don’t let him hurt me- you don’t want something like that on your conscience, right?”

“Oh, but poisoning the commander’s mate is an acceptable act to have on yours?” Nihlus asked mildly, watching as Ash’s eyes went wide. “You knew they’d think it was her, right? If it weren’t for me being able to vouch for William’s character, Detective Shepard would have had every reason to suspect her.” He watched as Ash’s fingers twitched around her pistol, but he placed a hand on hers and lightly shook his head. “I’ll admit, Pressly was a good touch, but he’s so anti-alien that he wouldn’t have taken the time to learn what poison to use… unlike you.” 

“I- “ he started to say something, but Nihlus stood in front of him and growled, flaring out his nostrils. “I only wanted him to sit out the mission!” Kaidan yelled, his eyes frantically darting around the cavern. “I just needed the chance to prove to the commander that she could use another team! Vakarian never gave me a chance- he was always jealous and he never left her side! I figured with her brother and him out sick, I could show her how well we could work together… like on Eden Prime!” 

“You stupid motherfucker,” Ash snarled, hitting him upside the head with the back of her gun. “That stunt of yours could’ve killed someone! What the fuck were you thinking?” 

“I wasn’t,” Alenko admitted, his voice shaking as a trickle of blood ran down the back of his head. “I was just tired of being seen as the reject… I wanted to be more! I just needed the chance, that’s all! I swear, I never meant to seriously hurt him- I didn’t, did I?” 

“No, you didn’t, but you did successfully give Vakarian a very ill-timed stomach ache,” Nihlus replied, shooting Ash a look. “After this mission, you’re leaving the Normandy, Alenko- say you can’t handle the stress, say you want to work on something closer to home, whatever… but if you don’t… I’ll be happy to share this recording with Jane and the higher-ups- I’m quite sure that they’ll be very interested in the attempted assassination of a turian C-Sec officer.”  
  
Kaidan’s face went pale. “But you just said-” 

“I know what I said,” NIhlus replied coolly. “But I also know what it looks like. And I also know that Vakarian is Jane’s husband- I’m sure she’d take very kindly to knowing what actually occurred.” He pretended to think about it, tapping a talon against his mandible. “But, seeing as she almost broke a turian woman’s arm for attempting to strike her mate, I somehow doubt she’d be that understanding.” 

“Yeah, Jane can be a bitch,” Ash piped up, earning a glare from Nihlus. “What? It’s true,” she retorted, shrugging her shoulders. “Tough as goddamn nails too- I’m just glad it’s not me in her fucking crosshairs this time.”

“We’ll talk about your tone later, Williams,” Nihlus replied, crossing his arms and turning back to Alenko. “So, do I have your word you’ll behave honorably… or do I just have to shoot you now and be done with it?” 

“Give him the chance,” Ash said quietly, earning a look from both of them. “There’s enough creepy shit out here that we can use the backup- he wants to prove himself, then I say let him… after all, we are the reject squad- might as well live up to the name, right?”

Nihlus sighed, pinching his nose between his fingers. “I don’t trust him.”

“I’ll fight! I’ll do whatever you ask- just… don’t tell the commander,” he pleaded. “I don’t want her to think I’m like that… I need to show her I’m a good soldier.” Alenko shifted his eyes to Ash for a moment. “You know I can do it- you’ve seen me out there!”

“I’m giving you this chance,” he said, releasing the lieutenant and watching him drop to his feet. “Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t,” he wheezed, rolling on his back just as Sol, John, and Jenkins made their way back into the chamber. “I won’t do it again.” 

“I know you won’t,” Nihlus said firmly, watching as Jenkins raced over to his friend. As Sol went to see about the babbling man in the corner, the spectre quietly made his way over to stand next to John. “Were you able to switch the channel?”

John nodded, watching as Ash and Jenkins helped Alenko to his feet. “Sure did. Got it all,” he replied, tapping his finger against his omni-tool. “Nice work, Kryik.” 

“Do you think he’ll play nice out here?” Nihlus asked, watching as the lieutenant limped along. “He’s dangerous, Shepard- you know this.” 

“I do,” he replied, watching Alenko closely. “But I also know my uncle staffed this bastard on our ship- I don’t want this shit coming down on him. Hell, you know Udina already has it in for Janey and Uncle David- all we need is to murder a golden boy on top of it and we’ll have ourselves a shiny shit sandwich.” He plastered a smile on his face as Sol looked over, gently guiding the babbling man out of the cave. “We’ll drop his ass off right after this- you got lucky, Kryik- for all anyone hearing this recording knows, he could be talking to anyone.”

“Fortuitous indeed,” he replied, following Ash, Jenkins, and Alenko out of the cavern. “Let’s just hope we can handle the rest of this mission without incident.” 

“Famous last words, Kryik,” John said darkly. “For fuck’s sake, when have you ever known our rag-tag crew to be that goddamn lucky?” 

“Never,” Nihlus replied sadly as they made their way out of the tunnels. “I’m afraid luck doesn’t seem to be a word that lives in our vocabulary these days.” 


	43. unprepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Sol analyze the samples while Jane and team explore ExoGeni

_ _

* * *

“Johnny,” Sol said slowly, not taking her head out of the microscope, “I need you to come here for a second.” 

“Sure,” he said casually, walking over and placing a kiss on the top of her head. “Whatcha need?” 

“Your blood,” she replied absentmindedly, still peering inside the lens. “Can you roll up your sleeve, please?” 

“Um, I love you and all, but that sounds a bit much, don’t you think?” John leaned against the desk, then cleared his throat, causing her to startle and look up.”Care to share your thought process before you try and kill me?” 

“I need a sample to compare these to,” Sol answered, frowning as she glanced over at the vials. “Chakwas is decidedly not helping me right now because she says I can ‘figure this out’, so that’s what I’m doing. And since I know this looks weird, but I don’t have human blood to compare it to, I need your help.” 

“Well, if it’s for science,” John said with a sigh, extending his arm to Sol. He noted how warm and soft her hands were against his skin as she deftly pricked him with the needle, staring up at him while his sample filled the vial. “Just so you know, we humans don’t count this as romantic, Tiny.” 

“Oh really?” Sol replied, a faint smile on her face as she withdrew the needle and swiped a tiny bit of medi-gel over the small wound before placing the vial into the machine. “What do you count as romantic, then?” 

“A nice dinner, flowers, candles, soft music…” John looked at her, feeling his throat go dry all of a sudden. “Or just going somewhere you both enjoy and being with each other.” 

She looked down, then trilled softly, running her hand over his. “I think I’d like that,” she said quietly. “Maybe we should try it sometime.”

“Sol,” he said, then cleared his throat as the words felt like wood slivers in his throat, “what would you think if I asked you to make this official?” 

The turian’s hand clamped down on his, her eyes going wide as she stared at him in shock. “Johnny… what are you asking me?”

“I…” his voice trailed off, and he blushed, awkwardly trying to find the words that seemed to evaporate in his mouth the moment he tried to say them. “If you were human, I’d know exactly what I’d do,” he admitted. “I’d have started trying to date you so long ago you would’ve probably tried to shoot me by now. But the moment I found out you loved me as much as I love you, I would have done everything I could to get you to spend the rest of your life with me.” 

“But I’m not human,” Sol said quietly, relaxing her grip a little but keeping her focus on him. “So again, what are you saying?” 

“I’m saying I’m an idiot,” John replied honestly, wrapping his hand over hers. “I don't know how to do this, Tiny- if you want to do this... if it’s too soon for you... if you even think we could get that far, or…” He blew out a deep breath, then squeezed his eyes shut, no longer wanting to see her face if this was going as horribly as he thought. “Solana Vakarian,” he said slowly, gripping his hand in hers, “you are the best friend I could ever have- you know me, the real me, and for some inconceivable reason, you love me anyway. You are a badass, brilliant, and wonderful soul, and I love you so much it hurts.”

Sol just blinked, not saying a word- instantly, John felt a flush creeping up his neck and turning his face red. Not wanting to continue but too scared that if he stopped he’d never start again, he plunged on. “Look, if you need me to go and stay on Palaven with you, I’d do it. If you wanted to stay with me, then you have a house there because what’s mine is yours. Whatever you need, whatever you want, that’s what I’m going to do… because my life is damn empty without you in it, Tiny.” He inhaled for a moment, then brought his eyes to her face. “I said I know what I’d do if you were human, but I don’t know how this goes for us- I damn sure wasn’t going to ask your brother, and I just-”

Sol finally laughed, but it wasn’t cutting or angry or teasing- it was his favorite laugh, the one he often got when she thought he was overreacting or being silly about something. “Johnny, why don’t you just ask me what you want to know? Either I’ll say yes or I’ll say no- it’s as simple as that.” 

“Yeah, I’m well aware of that,” John grumbled, looking down at the floor. He wasn’t going to raise his head, but a gentle finger under his chin made that impossible, so he closed his eyes instead. “This sounds really stupid, Tiny,” he complained. “Any chance you want to just put me out of my misery now?” 

Sol laughed, resting her head against his. “Not a chance,” she replied, pressing her lips to his. “I kind of like this version of the great John Shepard- you make me look positively suave right now.” 

“I dislike you sometimes,” he groused as he pressed his head against hers, sighing as she ran her hands through his disheveled curls. “Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this in the medbay while you’re working,” he said cagily, looking around. “I could probably come back later, maybe-” 

She pressed her lips to his, then ran a talon across his cheek. “Johnathan Alexander Shepard, you have never been scared to ask me anything a day in your life. You’ve asked me things that would make a whore blush without a second thought… in front of my _mother_. Why in the world are you acting like an idiot right now? If you ever wanted to know something, all you’ve ever had to do was ask me… this is no different.”

“Marry me,” John blurted out, slapping his hand to his mouth. “Jesus fuck, that came out wrong.” Bringing his other hand to his face to hide his embarrassment, he peered through the cracks of his fingers. “Can I start over?” 

“No,” she replied, laughing as she pulled down his hands, “no, I’m afraid you do not get to start over. What is that rule you told me about… no takebacks?” John gaped at her, but she just bopped him lightly on the nose with a finger. “I’m invoking that right now.” 

“I’m pretty sure I can do better than that,” he said meekly. “I can do this again- we can arrange for dinner, go out somewhere nice, maybe-”  
  
“Don’t you want to hear my answer first?” Sol asked coquettishly, cocking her head to the side and staring at him. “Seems like that might be important, right?” 

John wanted the entire galaxy to detonate right then in order to save himself from this conversation. “I suppose it might be, yeah.” 

“Did you mean it?” Sol asked, the expression in her blue eyes serious. “Turians… we don’t say things like this lightly, John- when we do, we mean it as a lifelong commitment. You… you’re young… and human- is this really what you want?” He started to say something else, but she cut him off. “You keep saying ‘what I want’ or ‘what I need’... I’m not asking if you think it’s what I want... I’m asking what _you_ want.”

“You,” he answered honestly, no hesitation in his words whatsoever. “I want to be by your side for the rest of my life or as long as you’ll have me, Sol.”“Okay,” Sol replied, getting up to check her sample, ignoring the dumbfounded look on his face. “See? Was that so hard?”

“Um, yeah!” John stammered, gaping at her like a fish as she went back to her microscope. “Tiny, I’m not sure how turians work, but I can tell you that you’re about to give this human a goddamn heart attack!” 

“Why?” Sol asked, blinking up at him. “What’s wrong?” 

“Are you fucking kidding me!” John stared at her, waiting to see if she was joking. When she didn’t respond, he let his jaw drop. “Can I please have an answer, Tiny!” 

“I gave you one,” she replied, then frowned. “Hmmm…. this is odd.” She cokecked her head at John, then looked him up and down. “You’re perfectly healthy, right?”

“Yeah, but that shouldn’t affect your answer!” John felt like his world was reeling- right now, nothing made sense to him. “Sol, what the hell is going on? Did I do something else wrong?” 

“Johnny, I was already your mate- I knew that as soon as you started talking,” Sol said absentmindedly, turning back to the slide. “The problem is in the samples- if you’re healthy, and they’re human like you… then this says there’s an anomaly in every sample I’ve taken from the colonists today.” 

Trying to cope with the words coming out of her mouth, John blinked. Forcing himself to focus on the more pressing problem, he swallowed. _Guess I’m engaged,_ he thought, taking a breath and wrapping his arm over his soon-to-be wife’s shoulders. “What is it, Tiny?” 

“That’s the problem,” she said cautiously, looking up at him and humming nervously. “I’ve never seen anything like it before.” 

_ _

* * *

After Tali helped the woman repair the generators, Nihlus sent her back to the ship, calling out for Ash on the comms. “Status, Williams.” 

“Water supply restored,” she said quickly. “Just saw Jenkins and Alenko- the food issue is being resolved as we speak.” 

He nodded, watching as the woman walked over. “Good work,” he replied, noting the slight smile on her face when he praised her efforts. Tapping off his comms for the moment, he paused, watching the two men carrying items to the downed freighter. “Any issues?” 

Ash shook her head. “None- everything’s been quiet out here. Should we try to meet up with Jane’s team and see if they need any help? They’ve been quiet for a really long time- shouldn’t they have checked in by now?”

Nihlus shook his head. “No- I can’t see a scenario where all four of them would neglect to check in with us in the case of an emergency- It’s far more likely they switched channels to remove our chatter. However, I’ll call her up and get her status- if anything changes, I’ll let you know.”

Just then, John walked over to them, his posture stiff as he stood next to Williams. “Anyone hear from Janey yet?” 

Ash shook her head. “Was just asking about that- Kyrik was just about to call her.” 

John nodded, pressing his lips together- clearly, he was uncomfortable around the woman, but the man looked determined to remain professional. “You need to- Tiny found something.” 

“Your mate seems to be doing well today,” Nihlus replied, looking pointedly at Ash- he wanted to see if the woman would lose her composure at the mention of their status. However, Ash remained as still as a stone, her face flat and unmoving. “What did she find?” 

“She went over it with Chakwas, but… it seems like everyone here has some kind of infection,” John said carefully, looking over the colonists. “We’re fine, or at least I am, but they all have super high levels of some weird substance in their systems- might be why everyone here looks a little like a pod person when you ask them a question.”

“I have noticed that their behavior was a bit… askance,” Nihlus said slowly, thinking back to the man in the tunnels. He’d asked the leader about it, but the man simply dismissed him as ill, quickly shifting the subject to offer them extensive praise on finding the items they needed. “Do you have a private channel for your sister?”

“Yeah, one sec.” John fiddled with his tool, and suddenly the sounds of gunfire assaulted their ears- Nihlus held his head at the sudden noise. “What the fuck is going on over there, Jane Brain!” 

“We stole a Mako!” Jane yelled back. “Wrex, stop fucking around and shoot those bastards, would you?” She huffed, then came back to the line. “We’re headed up to ExoGeni\- we found a bunch of people holed up in a tunnel out here. Apparently, finding out that a rogue spectre is sending the geth after your shit seems to make bureaucrats nervous- go figure.”

“Jane, be careful,” Nihlus replied, shaking his head at her obvious enthusiasm. “Your sister has done scans on the colonists here- it seems they’re all infected with something.”

“Are they contagious?” Jane asked quickly. “Are you guys safe?” 

“We’re fine- Miss Vakarian ran tests on your brother- he shows none of the same infection in his bloodstream as the colonists. Whatever happened to them happened before we got here, thank the spirits.” 

“Good, keep it that way,” she muttered. “Look, I can’t talk long- we’re coming up to the facility. I’m trusting you guys to keep things together while we’re out.”

“You got it,” John said, his face and voice flat- by now, Nihlus knew it was a defense mechanism. _If he can’t use humor, he tries for nothingness,_ he noted. _The man never shows himself if he can help it._ “We’ll manage things over here.” 

“I know you will,” Jane replied, pausing as the sound of an explosion rang out over the comms. “That’s my cue- dream team out.” 

_ _

* * *

Dazed, John walked around the compound, checking in with everyone and making sure things were moving along. The lack of news from Jane’s team was unsettling, but he knew how his sister was- she liked small teams. _Too many variables,_ she’d say when they asked her about running with a larger squad. However, John knew what this really meant- _when there’s too many people, there’s too much interaction and I can’t focus_. 

After trading with the merchant for a few items, he was making his way back to the ship when he heard an unholy screech erupt all around him. John winced and covered his ears- it was as if the entire colony had begun screaming all at once, and he got the sinking suspicion that whatever Sol had found earlier was not as benign as they hoped. _Maybe it’s not that bad_ , John told himself as he quickened his pace. _Maybe I’m imagining things… I am under a lot of stress, after all_. 

But then the sweet old lady that was writhing in pain earlier heaved a chunk of concrete at his head and John got the message loud and clear- _run_. 

“Something’s wrong with the colonists!” John screamed, scanning the area for his teammates. “I think whatever Sol found is causing them to go fucking nuts!” 

“No shit!” Ash yelled, dodging a colonist swinging a piece of metal at her and punching him in the face, knocking him out cold. “What the fuck is going on?” Ash wheezed, staring around in horror at the chaos unfolding around them. “Do you think Sol and Chakwas can fix this?” 

“I don’t know, but I know we aren’t going to find out anything standing out here getting our brains bashed in, ” John shot back. “And until I know if they’re perma-crazy, I’d like to not kill grandma!” He grabbed her hand, but she dug her heels into the ground. “And I’m not getting my ass kicked twice for you, Ash- let’s hurry the fuck up and get out of here!”

“Nih is in the freighter- I have to go get him!” Ignoring her cries, John tried to drag her toward the ship, but she jerked her arm away. “Either come with me or take your ass back to the ship,” Ash hissed as she took off toward the ship, “but I’m not bouncing without Kryik!”

Too stunned to even process the words coming out of her mouth, John just raced after the soldier. _This day is going to take a shitload of booze to unpack_ , he thought as he used his biotics to clear a path for Ash. _I am not equipped to deal with this much shit sober_. 

“Kryik, where the fuck are you,” Ash shouted over the comms, her head swinging wildly from left to right as she scanned the halls. “If you don’t answer me _right fucking now_ , I’m plucking off your goddamn fringe when I see you!” 

“Geez, Ash,” John replied, wincing as he scanned the hall, “dramatic much? Besides, I thought you hated the guy? Not that I’m complaining, but shouldn’t you be pretty much doing a victory dance right now?” 

“I don’t _hate_ him,” she snapped, whirling around in a circle and opening her eyes wide when she saw the turian crawling out from a pile of debris. “Nih!” Ash screamed, racing over to him. “Johnny, stop fucking gawking and help me get this shit off him!” 

_Nih?_ Shaking off this line of thought for the moment, John used his biotics to remove some of the rocks, allowing the turian to crawl over to them. “What the fuck happened?” John asked, noticing the relief on Ash’s face. _I have so many questions,_ he thought as he looked at the two of them. “Where’s Alenko and Jenkins?” 

“We’re outside the Normandy- is Spectre Kryik ok?” Jenkins yelled through the comms- in all of the chaos, John had forgotten they were on. “Miss Sol and Miss Tali are already on board- we’re just waiting on you so we can put the shields up! Alenko’s holding these folks back, but I don’t know how much longer he can do it!”

“Got it- we’ll be right there!” He looked over at Kryik, who nodded- the turian looked winded, but otherwise ok. “Again, inquiring minds need to know,” he said as they raced down the hall, “what the fuck happened to you?” 

“Apparently, I poked my head where I shouldn’t,” Nihlus replied. “Fai Dan didn’t approve of it and sent an avalanche of rocks on me to make sure I got the message.” The spectre glanced up at the Normandy in front of them, and frowned at the crowd in front of the weakening lieutenant. “Shepard, do you think you can clear those people for us, since it looks like we’re not shooting them?” 

“Can do,” John replied, gathering his energy and sending out a biotic blast that scattered the gathering crowd. “Coast is clear,” he wheezed, trying to pull himself together and ignore the fact that the air now smelled like eezo and hair. “Time to run!” 

No one argued as they raced to the ship, pulling in Alenko and Jenkins behind them- the private had a nasty gash in his leg and the biotic was clutching his temples, practically howling in pain. “What the fuck is wrong with him?” Ash asked, glaring at Alenko as soon as the doors slid shut. “This fucker-” she jerked a thumb at Nihlus, who was leaning against a pillar, “-was almost crushed to death and he’s not even looking at anyone funny, so what’s this idiot’s deal?” 

“Unlike this dickwad, Nihlus isn’t having his brain vibrate against his skull,” John said irritably, angry to find himself even having a trace of sympathy for the man. “It’s a biotic migraine- happens if you use too much power and don’t have the good sense to pass out.” He fought the urge to roll his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Get these two to medbay- Chakwas can handle them from here...I’m done with this shit.” 

“Hey, definitely not trying to shovel even more shit on this pile,” Joker called out over the intercom as Tali and Sol escorted the two men away, “but we’ve got a problem, guys.” 

“When _don’t_ we have a problem?” John growled, staring at the ceiling. He knew the pilot could hear him, so he didn’t even bother heading to the cockpit. “Don’t you think the rabid villagers _that we just saved_ trying to kill us is enough for one day? You do realize I’m not the commander, right? I _literally_ do not get paid enough for this shit.”

“While I’m not responsible for how you negotiate your contract, I still need you to follow up on this,” Joker said nervously. “Brainy isn’t here, and Kryik looks like a walking doorstop- you’re up, Johnny.”

“Why? What the fuck is it?” John growled, feeling his nerves fraying more and more by the second. “What is so _fucking_ _important_ that it can’t wait for my sister?” 

Joker audibly swallowed, then cleared his throat. “Well, it can’t wait for Jane… because I can’t reach her… or her team,” the pilot said slowly, no doubt watching all the blood drain from John’s face, “… and I’ve tried every comm channel possible.” 

_ _

* * *

Joker was desperate to raise someone from Jane’s team on the comms, but every trick he tried was failing. It also didn’t help matters that John was staring over his shoulder, glaring at him the entire time. “Would you fucking take a seat? It’s not going to go any faster with you looking like you’re going to tear my head off at any moment!” 

“We have people… that a moment ago were perfectly sane, if a little weird, banging on the outside of our ship and trying to murder us. I have a psychotic biotic that is currently in the throes of a migraine from hell and he’s a dipshit on a normal basis. My best fighter is pretty much a walking tin can that refuses to die, and the only other coherent people are the goddamn chihuahua recruit with a chunk missing from his leg and the woman I used to bang that wants to kill me… so forgive me if _I’m fucking on edge right now!_ ” 

“Calm down,” Joker said, trying to figure out if there was a way to get his friend to get his foot out of his ass so he could think for a second- the banging on the hull from the colonists was doing him no favors, and Nihlus and Ash were standing guard at the entrance, just in case someone figured out how to get in. “Look, I’m trying everything I know, but unless you can figure out how to locate your sister, we’re stuck.”

“Fine,” John shot back, his face pinched. Suddenly, his eyes went wide. “Tali! Maybe she can help us figure out what to do!”  
  
“Worth a shot,” Joker replied, punching in the comms for the medbay. “Yo, Tali, you in there?” 

“She went to engineering,” Sol replied, her voice barely audible over the din. “Try down there!” 

“Roger,” Joker replied, turning to John. “Welp, that answers your question- feel like making a trip down there? I can barely hear shit on the comms down there on a normal day- with the zombie horde trying to eat us, good luck getting anything out of there that isn’t complete garbage.”  
  
“Fuck!” John spat viciously, punching the back of his chair. “Just… just keep trying. I’m going to find Tali… maybe she can figure out some way to boost our signal or something.”

“Hey,” Joker said, placing a hand on John’s arm, “Janey is fine… you know your sister is too mean to die without telling us all to kiss her ass five ways from Sunday.”

For just a moment, John’s face softened. “Yeah… you’re right. Plus, she’s got Vakarian and Wrex with her… they’ve got her back.”

“Damn right,” the pilot replied, relieved to see his friend gathering his composure. “Now go, handle this shit, Johhny- everyone knows you’re second in command anyway.” 

John just shook his head and flipped him off, racing out of the cockpit. _I hope they can figure something out,_ Joker thought as he tried once again to raise anyone on Jane’s team, _cause this shit is fucking nuts._

Just as he was about to bang his head against the console, a throat cleared behind him. “Mr. Moreau… have you forgotten about your meds this evening?” 

He swiveled in his seat to see the disapproving face of Chakwas, leaning against the door with a syringe in her hand. “Um, kinda busy here, doc,” he said, pointing around at the ship. “Zombies outside the door take precedence!”

“There are no…” Then the doctor peered outside the window and her eyes went wide. “Oh dear,” she gasped, looking at the colonists that had moved away from the ship- every person on the surface was standing stock-still, their heads turned upward toward the ship. “Is this what Sol was studying?” 

Joker nodded. “Yep… zombie horde,” he said quietly, unsure as to the cause of the sudden cease-fire. “And we can’t reach Jane at all.” Then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye and frowned. “Did you guys shut off the comms in the medbay?” 

Chakwas shook her head. “Why would we do something like that with all this racket going on outside?”

“Then that’s extra strange,” he said slowly, punching a few keys and frowning, “because all the doors just locked in there, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The giveaway is still going, but it closes on 12/2!
> 
> How to participate  
> 2 things: you can a) leave a kudos, b) a comment, or c) a follow on Tumblr AND ENTER using [this entry form!](https://airtable.com/shrZ74xm3S68DqyTx)


	44. Explosive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone isn’t as nice as he pretends to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: TW- violence against females, misogynistic language. 
> 
> However, the women on the Normandy are all badasses and will not let this stand.

_ _

* * *

In the back of the lab, Sol was trying every combination of chemicals she could think of in order to isolate or destroy the unknown pathogen in her samples, but the thudding and banging against the ship was doing nothing for her concentration. Suddenly, she heard a loud bang and a thud, startling her away from the microscope. _What just happened?_ Sol wondered, looking around wildly. _Did they get into the ship?_

Wishing desperately that she hadn’t left her gun in the cargo bay, Sol took off her gloves- while her talons weren’t sharp (she’d kept them trimmed and rounded in order not to maim Johnny and JC in her sleep), they were still stiff and looked menacing- hopefully, she would be able to convince whoever or whatever that she was an actual threat. 

Peeping around the corner, she saw Alenko sitting on the floor across from Jenkins, his breathing wild and erratic. “Miss Vakarian,” he rasped, holding his throat and staring at the downed private on the floor, “thank _goodness_ you’re all right!”

“I was in the lab,” Sol replied, frowning as she looked down at the man sprawled out on the floor. Concerned, she kneeled down next to Jenkins, checking his pulse- he was knocked out cold, but he was alive. “What happened in here!” 

“He… he went _crazy_ ,” Alenko stammered, his breathing loud and raspy. “One minute he was fine, then the next he tried to strangle me- I had to knock him out to get him off me!”

“But why would he do that?” Sol asked, turning her head and staring at the man. “Whatever’s affecting them isn’t contagious,” she mused, turning back to Jenkins. “It shouldn’t have done anything to him…” Suddenly, Sol felt her plates start to crawl and she tensed up, very aware that something wasn’t right here. “Wait a minute…” she said slowly, “where’s Chakwas?”

When the man spoke again, his voice was no longer raspy and heavy. Instead, it was deep and firm, full of anger and menace as his hand clamped down on the back of her neck. “You just _had_ to be smart, didn’t you? Why couldn’t you just be as dumb as the other turian, huh?”

“What are you-” Before Sol could say another word, she was flung across the room, crashing through the cots as she was pinned against the wall, unable to move against the unseen force. “Help! Someone help me!” 

“ _Damn…_ I couldn’t have gotten a better opportunity if I _planned_ this,” Alenko mused, rising to his feet and staring at her, his smile more terrifying to Sol than any of the geth she’d seen today. “Poor little turian, all alone in the medbay with the _crazy_ soldier,” he said sarcastically, walking over and staring at her, his eyes roving over her face. “And I _tried_ to save you, but he just…” He ran his hands over her neck and squeezed, using his power to exert so much force it made her gasp for air. “ _Strange_ how that toxin out there just made him _so_ strong- I had to use the last of my power to stop him… too bad I couldn’t save you, though.” 

The pressure on her throat was increasing by the second, and her panic was growing more and more with every strangled breath she took. “Don’t… do this…” Sol rasped, desperate for air. “You aren’t like this… Jane wouldn’t...”

Apparently, that was the right thing to say- he let go of her throat for a second, allowing her to take a raspy inhale. Wild-eyed, Sol let out an ear-piercing shriek, causing the lieutenant to punch her in the nose, sending a river of blue blood trickling down her face. “Shut up,” he hissed, leaning into her face and yanking her fringe, causing her to scream again. “Scream _one more time_ and I will crush your goddamn throat, you ugly skullface bitch!” Unable to speak, Sol just stared at him, eyes wide with terror- he yanked her fringe again, sending a jolt of pain through her body. “Do you fucking understand?” 

Sol swallowed, trying to ignore the blood running into her mouth- he released the pressure on her head just enough for her to nod, and she began to keen softly. “Understand.”

“Good…” Alenko said, smiling back at her as if nothing untoward was going on. Then the man tilted his head and stared at her, tapping his finger against his face. “You’re right… Jane won’t want you dead… she’s going to be happier if I could save you from his attack…” Then he brightened, rushing toward her again so fast she couldn’t help but close her eyes. “That’s _it_... I saved you from his attack,” he purred, stroking her cheek and making her shiver. “He beat you, broke a few of your bones, but I came to just in time to save you.” He smiled, then hit her again, laughing the entire time. “Of course, there’s no _way_ you can be on a ship after something like that, right? You just _have_ to leave… and _insist_ your brother comes with you- there’s no way he’d leave you alone after something that traumatic, right?”

Sol’s blood was boiling at this point- she narrowed her eyes and growled. “I’m going to kill you,” she hissed, never taking her focus off him. “There is no way in hellfire I’m leaving you on this ship with my sister!”

 _“She’s not your sister!”_ Alenko roared, leaning into her face. “Jane wouldn’t do that! He’s forcing her to be with him and you know it, you stupid bitch!” His hand met her face with a resounding crack, causing her to bite her tongue and send blood dripping down the back of her throat. “You _will_ leave and take him with you,” he hissed, his eyes boring into hers, “or I’m going to kill that little skullfucking brother of hers.” 

“You wouldn’t,” Sol whispered, but even she knew her words were hollow- she could see it in his eyes that the man had every intention of doing whatever he could to get to her sister. “John’s her brother,” she choked out, struggling in vain against the pressure holding her to the wall. The banging on the ship had finally stopped, and Sol looked around the room, hoping for something, anything, that would get her out of this. Desperate, she thought of what her dad had taught her- _look for their weakness,_ he’d say. _Use it against them._ “She loves John too much,” she croaked, feeling her throat starting to swell. “She’d hate you if she thought something happened to him… and he loves me too much to let me leave.” 

“Then you’ll convince him,” Alenko seethed, leaning in her face. “Or _I’m_ going to stop his fucking heart… I can do it too, see?” Suddenly he thrust his hand against her chest, sending a bolt of energy inside that made her scream with pain. “You’re tougher than he is,” he whispered in her ear. “But just imagine… me, crushing the life out of her poor, defenseless brother… he thinks he’s _so_ fucking smart,” he growled, clutching her throat again. “You know what- fuck it… I’m going to kill you anyway,” Alenko sneered. “I want to see the look on his face when I squeeze his goddamn chest and take his _last fucking breath_ … and just as he’s about to die, I’m going to tell him his cuddle-bone _bitch_ knew about it the entire time… and she let me do it.” 

As the air left her lungs this time, Sol felt a burning pressure inside her body- it was as if the very blood in her veins was superheating, pulsing, pushing, constricting every cell to the absolute limit. _I will kill this man,_ she thought as spots began to cloud her vision. _I will strip the meat from his bones… he will not hurt my sister… he will not hurt my mate!_

Just as the last gasps of air receded from her lungs, Sol let out a scream as white sparks clouded her vision- there was a blast of heat and a crash as she dropped to the floor, her plates feeling like they were on fire. Finally free from the pressure, Sol continued to scream, not caring that her lungs were going raw from the sound. No matter what she did, she couldn’t stop the fire blazing through her body- it was as if electricity was being shot through her veins. 

Curling into a ball, Sol barely noticed when someone raced up and shot her in the neck- _it doesn’t matter anymore,_ she thought sleepily. All that counted was that the fire crawling over her plates was receding, and Sol drifted off into the darkness, thankful for the cool blanket of sleep enveloping her. 

_ _

* * *

John felt like everything in his body was on fire, but the sight of the slumped over turian in his arms made it worth it. Once he’d heard her screams, he’d yanked Tali upstairs- the quarian had overridden the lock on the door in seconds. “I shouldn’t have left,” Tali kept saying, shaking her head and pacing back and forth. “Oh, Keelah, I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have left you.” 

“It’s alright,” John said quietly, gently cleaning the blood from Sol’s face and trying not to think about Nih and Ash hauling away the piece of human garbage behind them. “It’s my fault,” he whispered, caressing her cheek and resting his head to hers. “I should’ve killed him… I was trying to do the right thing for _fucking once_ and look where it got me… got her!” 

“You didn’t do this,” Chakwas said firmly, standing in front of him. “It’s no one’s fault but Alenko’s- don’t let him off that easy by taking his blame.” She kneeled down next to him, scanning the girl in his arms. “I know you don’t want to do this,” she said quietly, “but you have to put the dampeners on her, John.” 

“She’s not a criminal,” he shot back, glaring at the doctor and holding Sol tight. “I’m not going to have her wake up after that bastard did who knows what to her and start thinking I’m shipping her off to prison!”

Chakwas sighed. “Did you know she was a biotic, John?” 

John shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. “She’s never mentioned it once… and I know Tiny- she would have told me.”  
  
“Or Liara,” Tali said sadly, twisting her hands. “She’s always asking about how she does things and asking her to do tricks- if she knew she could do that-” Tali turned her head to the dented and overturned cot leaning against the wall, “then I don’t think she’d ask Li to pick her up as a party trick.”

The doctor just nodded. “Then that means she’s an untested biotic, and we are on a _ship_ , John.” He started to protest, but Chakwas held up a hand. “I am _not_ sedating her for the entire flight to the Citadel, John- she needs to be evaluated and looked over.”

“You’re a doctor,” he replied, looking down at Sol and dabbing medi-gel over the blooming bruises on her throat. “Can’t you do something?”

“I am,” Chakwas answered, her expression sad yet firm. “I like Sol… she’s a wonderful girl and I am kicking myself for leaving her alone with that bastard. However, it’s done now, and we have to do what’s best for Sol… and _us_ , John- if she’s not restrained, she’s going to pick right back up where she left off… you _know_ this.” She kneeled down and placed a hand on his shoulder, then sighed. “If you want to help her, then be with her when she wakes up, John. Explain what’s happening so she doesn’t feel scared… make sure she’s not alone.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he replied, looking down at the sleeping turian. “When my biotics came in, I… _exploded_. Came to on a couch in Nana’s house two days later.” John shook his head. “I don’t know how to deal with something like this.” 

“Are you saying you’re leaving?” Tali asked angrily, moving next to the doctor. Though he couldn’t see it, he could feel the force from her stare. “I thought you loved her, Jonathan!”

“No one _ever_ said I was leaving her,” John snapped back, feeling energy rolling over his limbs- he took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. _It’s not her fault,_ he told himself. _Everyone is upset, not just you… they love Tiny too, remember?_ He lifted his head, giving Tali a shaky smile. “I just don’t want her to be afraid,” he said softly, holding Sol’s hand. “I was so scared when I woke up and couldn’t find Jane… I thought all the shit I’d done had finally caught up to me and I was going to lose the one thing that mattered most to me- I don’t want her to ever feel like that.” 

“Then don’t let her,” Tali replied, glancing over at Chakwas. “Doctor, do you think I could modify the cuffs to get them to focus as bracelets instead?” 

“That’s your department, not mine,” the doctor replied, getting to her feet. “But as long as they nullify her abilities, I don’t see why not.” 

Tali nodded, then rested a hand on Sol’s shoulder. “Then that is what I will do,” she declared, tilting her head to John. “Can you take her to her room and keep her sedated while I work? It shouldn’t take too long- all I have to do is-”  
  
John held up a hand, using his abilities to generate just enough force to allow him to lift the turian. “I don’t need to know all that- I wouldn’t understand it anyway. But thank you for everything, Tali,” he said sincerely, grateful to the quarian for being such a good friend to the woman he loved. “I owe you everything… because I couldn’t have done this without you.” 

_ _

* * *

“Is that bastard still knocked out?” Ash growled, stomping over to Alenko’s room and looking over at Nihlus. He could tell she was agitated- she’d advocated for the man, and now she looked as if she blamed herself for this incident. “If he’s not, can I go in and take a few swings at him?”

Nihlus chuckled, then shook his head. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait in line- there seem to be quite a few people that want his head on a spike.” When she huffed, Nihlus extended his arms to her. “Come here, Ash.”

She hesitated only for a moment before collapsing in his arms, burying her face in his chest. “It’s my fault,” Ash whispered, her voice muffled and shaky. “I shouldn’t have asked you to give him a chance- I should’ve picked up on how fucking crazy he was-”

“His crimes are his and his alone,” Nihlus replied, cutting her off as he rubbed her back, his sub-vocals loud and comforting. “Don’t do that to yourself- there are more than enough burdens to go around, so try to avoid unnecessary ones.”

Ash nodded, but she was cut off by a snort from behind them. “Should’ve known you were fucking the cuddle-bone,” Alenko spat, glaring at the two of them with a hatred so strong it made Nihlus check the readings on his omni-tool and verify that the man’s restraints were functioning properly. “How can you let that _thing_ touch you, Williams?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Ash hissed, balling up her fists and walking into the room. Nihlus started to stop her but immediately decided against it, stepping to the side and letting her pass. _They’re both Alliance_ , he thought with a smile, noting the vein standing out against her neck. _She can handle this._

“Why?” Alenko shot back. “You’re a _disgrace_ , Williams- you know what they’re like. All he wants to do is fuck you…then he’s going to leave you half-dead and broken, begging for anyone to touch his sloppy seconds.” He scoffed at her and rolled his eyes, a menacing smile spreading across his face. “Knowing that you’ll spread your legs for him, I wouldn’t touch you with my dick if you paid me, you desperate slut.”

Nihlus just watched as Ash hauled back and punched him in the mouth, sending his head flying back against the bedpost and splitting his lip. “Fuck you,” she said, hocking a glob of spit on his cheek. “You’re just mad that Jane has the good sense to try to jump out the nearest window whenever your crazy ass comes by.” 

“She does _not!”_ Alenko roared, blood dripping over his teeth. “Jane needs me! She’s being attacked by that goddamn skullface every night and no one here is doing a damn thing about it… except for me!” 

At that Ash stopped and stared at him, ignoring the cuts and scrapes on her palm. “You are one _sick_ motherfucker,” she breathed, looking at him with shock. “Jane _loves_ her husband... the woman could give two shits about _you_ , you stupid bastard!”

“ _If you’d just let me kill that stupid bird bitch, he would’ve left and she’d love me!”_ The soldier screamed and bucked against his restraints, causing Ash to take an unconscious step back. “Why don’t you guys _see_ it!” Alenko howled, straining and lunging for Ash.”Jane wants _me!_ She saved me! She _needs_ me!”

Ash stood there, frozen- in one swift move, Nihlus moved into the room, injecting the man with the sedative Chakwas had given him. “I was hoping he would say something along those lines,” he said mildly, stopping his recording and surreptitiously kicking the unconscious man in the head as he walked over to Ash, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” she said shakily, her breathing heavy as they started to walk away. Suddenly, Ash's body started to shake and her fist clenched- without warning, she let out a scream and raced over to the soldier, planting her boot in his crotch. “Now I’m fine,” Ash replied, her body shaking. “He won’t be putting his dick in anyone if I can help it.”

Nihlus guided her out of the room, glancing over his shoulder at the man on the floor and wincing as he thought about what he’d told the woman. “You know he’s wrong, right?” 

She nodded, but Nihlus knew her well enough by now to know that the soldier’s words had left more of an impact than she was willing to acknowledge. He walked over to one of the crew, then dragged him in front of the door. “Do _not_ let anyone into or out of this room without my permission,” he growled, poking the confused man in the chest. “Do I make myself clear?” 

“Yes sir,” the confused man said quickly, his eyes darting from the bloody man on the floor to the angry-looking turian. “But-”

“He is responsible for the assault on private Jenkins and the attempted murders of Solana and Garrus Vakarian,” he snapped, causing the man’s eyes to go wide. “He is not to be moved or released from this room, understand? If he has to piss, he can do it on the floor for all I care!”

“Understood,” the man replied, his tone now harsh- Nihlus strongly suspected that more than one of the crew had been into the medbay and made the acquaintance of the chipper young turian and her small furry pet. “No one will get in or out, sir.” 

Turning to Ash, he guided her down the hall to her room, opening her door and guiding her inside. Once he'd crossed the threshold, he frowned as he turned to her. “Wait, since when does your room open to my bio-signs?” 

“Since I told it to,” she said with a shrug, sitting down on the bed. “Made more sense to do that than have you pounding on the goddamn thing to wake me up.” 

He knew that she was deflecting, so he moved over to the bed and sat next to her for a minute. “I’ve got to get back over there,” he said softly, running his hand over her hair. “But I need you to know that he was lying… you are wonderful and powerful, Ash- you will never have to beg a man for anything.” 

She scoffed, but he gently lifted her head and pressed his forehead to hers. “The ones who are worthy will beg you for an opportunity to share in your company,” he told her, closing his eyes and pressing his lips lightly against hers, “and you will _choose_ who you want to share it with. You will never be-” his face twisted in a grimace, remembering the man’s hurtful words, “- _'sloppy seconds'_. If your partner is worthy of your time and affection, you will be their first and only choice- anyone that makes you feel less than that is _irrelevant_. Do I make myself clear, Ash?” 

Ash paused for a moment, then closed her eyes. “As crystal,” she said sadly, then rested her head against his shoulder. “Go... someone needs to watch that asshole.” Ash blew out a deep breath, then leaned over and kissed him. He sighed, pressing himself against her for a moment and closing his eyes, trying not to think about the fact that though he’d mirrored the movements of other species for ages, he hadn't given anyone a proper turian kiss in years… until today. “When… when Jane and the others get back… will you come and stay with me?”

“Of course,” he replied. “It might be late, though.” 

“That’s ok,” she replied, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against his. “You know how to get in, Nih.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The giveaway is still going, but it closes at 11:59pm PST on 12/2!
> 
> How to participate  
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	45. Doubts and Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the attack, John tries to come up with solutions; Ash tries to be helpful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to the @Rosebud1773 for letting Nana come out to play today :)

_ _

* * *

John was sitting on Sol’s bed, watching over her as she slept. _I gotta talk to Nana about this,_ he mused, running his hands over his head. _She might know how to help her… there’s no way I can leave Tiny in this condition._

Punching in the code for the old asari, John sighed- he knew he had to look a wreck right now. He hadn’t cleaned up, and he was sweaty, still covered with dirt and grime from their exploits on the surface and spatters of blue blood were probably still everywhere. He’d meant to take a shower, but the thought of leaving Sol alone again was too much- it pulled at his heart, sending him into a panic every time. _I have to be here when she wakes up,_ he thought desperately, looking down at Sol to reassure himself that she was still here, still safe. _I’m not leaving her._

Even though it was the night cycle, the asari didn’t take long to answer. “Somebody better be dead… or dyin’ to call at this time of night. _Goddess_... Check a chronometer once in a while!”

“If I gave a shit about the time, I would,” John said listlessly, turning to see Sol’s chest rising and falling. “I need your help, Nana.”

After Nana rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and focused on his appearance, she must have noticed the specks of blue dotting gear. Her eyes narrowed as she snapped to full alertness. “What’s happened? _Why_ are you _wearing_ turian blood?”

“Funny you should ask…” John ran his hand over his head, sighing as he tried to figure out just how to say this and not lose his head. “You were right, Nana… I should’ve killed him.” 

Nana sighed and nodded in sudden understanding. “The Alenko boy… what has he done? As I understand, there are _three_ turians on that bucket of yours. Are the Vakarian kids ok?”

Swallowing, John closed his eyes and shook his head. “No… there was an attack out here…Tiny was in the medbay and he locked her in…” John took a deep breath and tried to continue, but he couldn’t get the words to come out. “She-”

“Stop right there, boy. Is your mate alive?” the asari asked, holding up a hand. She shook her head with a sigh of frustration before continuing. “And don’t go whining she's not your mate… we both know better.”

“I _know_ she’s my mate,” John replied, not even bothering to contradict the asari. “She’s alive, but I don’t know what happened… Alenko shut off the comms and there’s no cams in there. All I know is he beat her up bad, Nana.” He looked up at the asari, his face pale. “You know Yeloris pretty well, right? Tell the truth- did you know Sol was a biotic?” 

The air just seemed to gust out of Nana’s lungs at that. She dropped her head into her hands and shook it for a few seconds. Groaning, she didn’t look up at him for a couple of heartbeats. “ _Goddess_ … I never expected the girl to hook up with another biotic… She blasted him good, didn’t she?”

“Almost put him through the wall,” John mused. “Broke a cot clean in half… I was the only one that could get anywhere near her.”

The asari finally looked up at him and nodded. “Latent is what she is… or was. Strong, but unable to embrace the flow of energy. Always wondered what might happen if she found herself a biotic mate. Guess I know now.” she scratched at her scalp thoughtfully for a moment and tilted her head at him. “She shackled in those damn dampening cuffs? You know she’s likely to panic if she wakes up in those. Probably out like a light, poor tadpole.”

“I wouldn’t let them put her in them,” John growled, feeling his blood boiling at the very thought of her being restrained again. “Tali made her bracelets instead… I wasn’t going to let her feel like a goddamn criminal.” 

“Good thinkin’... Never thought of splittin’ those things like that, but I’m not a tech.” Nana scratched the back of her neck and nodded again in thought. “Well… since I’m the one who covered her first evaluation, I should be the one to cover this one. You gotta bring your mate to me, boy. I’ll catch the first shuttle back to the Citadel in the morning. Sure thing you won’t beat me there… so… I’ll be waiting.”

“We’re waiting for Jane to get back,” he replied, glancing over at Sol. “She’s still out, so yeah… I think you’d be cooling your heels for a bit.” Then he sighed, folding his hands. “You’re awful quiet, old woman… what’s on your mind? What’s going to happen to her?”

“Well… that’s a problem. What do you know about turian biotics?” Nana breathed and smoothed her hand over her head. “Heard of the Cabal?” 

“No-o-o,” John said carefully, peering at the old woman with concern. “You’re scaring me, Nana.” 

“Scared? My boy, you have no idea what _scared_ is… yet, but I’m about to enlighten you.” Nana’s tone hardened as she locked eyes fully with him then, her nod nearly imperceptible. “Turians don’t see biotics the same as the rest of us. They’re shunned, locked away from society… until they learn to fit in. Most are caught at a young age and shipped off to training camps… the Cabal units pick them up and sort them out once they’re fully trained.”

“ _No one_ is taking Tiny away,” John growled, feeling his fists clench. “There is no goddamn way I’m letting anyone take my future wife into some god-forsaken _camp_!” 

Nana peered at him curiously. “She marked you yet?” 

It was a simple question, but her eyes never left his. “No…” John replied, rubbing his neck. “I just asked her this afternoon, right before the shit hit the fan out here. Great way to celebrate an engagement, huh?”

“Nice sentiment, but turians generally don’t do ‘engagements’- it is, or it isn’t… Make sure you’re marked before you dock with the Citadel- only way you can prevent that crazy ‘by-the-book’ father of hers from shipping her off the second he catches the scent of ozone about her.” Nana grumbled and rubbed at her jaw thoughtfully. “Might be… you have to take responsibility for her. Give me the chance to train her how _not_ to blow a hole in that bucket you’re all in.”

“Um… I kinda didn’t want to do this for that reason, Nana,” John said nervously- this was a topic he had no idea how to even broach yet. “But yeah, I’m willing to do whatever I can to help her, one hundred percent.” 

“I never said you had to bed her to let her mark you, now did I? I know how the girl is… might not be ready to actually do the deed yet…” Nana clicked her tongue at the idea rolling through her head. The gleam in her eye screamed she was up to something. “Takes time to warm to the idea of giving up your virginity to an alien. Just… let her nip you, let it scar. Take a bite out of her, but for goddess’ sake, don’t swallow- don’t need you tempin’ fate. Her father sees the marks, he’ll make his choice. Won’t be able to ship her off without her mate’s consent though.”

John scowled.“I’m not her goddamn keeper, Nana- why do they need my consent? She’s a grown-ass woman!” 

Nana rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “For _fuck’s_ sake, John, _think_ with the head on your shoulders for once! You _love_ that girl, don’t you? You’re not becoming her _keeper_. You’re her _mate_ … and with good reason. Turian society works in equal partnerships. She’d have the same say over you in a case like this. _Goddess_ … you’re even more _dense_ than I remember!”

John blinked, staring at the asari. “Whoa- I know why I’m losing my shit, but what the hell’s got you so upset?”

“Pull your head out of your butt pucker long enough to see the bigger picture here, boy. You don’t think her father is gonna be just a _little_ upset? _Both_ of his chicks have chosen mates that can’t provide his clan with new blood. And now one of them is a proven biotic.” Nana let out a frustrated sounding sigh and groaned, dropping her head into her hands. “Yeloris is gonna completely flip her shit.”

“Oh _fuck_ ,” John breathed, putting his head in his hands. “She’s going to destroy me, isn’t she?” 

Nana peeked up at him through her fingers and was clearly trying to hide a wicked smile that was creeping across her face. It’s not your mate you’ll have to worry about… maybe in the bedroom, but… that father of hers… Castis Vakarian… goddess, that turian is a pompous ass from the depths of hell.” Dropping her hands with a sobering sigh, she tilted her head to the side. “You won’t have to worry about Ye… She believes her children should have the freedom of choice… no matter what that means for her clan.”

“What do I do for her in the meantime?” John asked, running his hand over Sol’s arm- the turian didn’t even stir, and he felt his stomach sink. _What did that bastard do to her?_ “I don’t know what he did… all I know is she melted down… and I just want her to be okay.” 

“Well.. that is the question, isn’t it? What did I do for you when you leveled an entire city block, hmm? I let you wake up, didn’t I? Let you talk it out, scream, cry… whatever you had to do. You do that for her. Be there when she wakes up… She won’t panic as much if you’re the first thing she sees,” Nana reasoned, reminding him of the moment he woke up on her couch. “You won’t know what that crazy little bastard did until she tells you anyway.”

“True.” John sighed. “Fuck, this situation is absolute shit,” he muttered, shaking his head. “This is not how I wanted to start our lives together.” As the words left his mouth, John laughed mirthlessly. “Didn’t think I’d ever be saying that…”

“Life takes us where it will, boy. We’re just along for the ride. As the humans say, sink or swim… that’s just how it is.” Nana chuckled at the situation. “Just be with the girl when she wakes up. That’s all you need to worry about right now. Let ol’ Nana deal with the rest when you get to the Citadel.”

“Got it,” he replied. “So, I gotta… take a bite out of my girlfriend… to keep my future father-in-law off my ass?” 

“Let her show you where,” Nana grumbled with a shake of her head. “Goddess knows those turians aren’t the soft, squishy types.”

“I don’t want to know how you know that,” John grumbled, eyeing Sol’s neck warily. “But this... like, we’re trying to get to the Citadel in _days_ , Nana… is this really fair to her?” 

“Best you don’t ask how I know… unless you _really_ wanna hear all about my last turian mate… _Ha!_ ” Nana dropped a snarky reply before sobering again and eyeing him thoughtfully. “Life is rarely fair and it never waits until you’re ready. Life… finds a way to drop a bucket of shit right in your lap when you least expect it. You can let it hit the fan… or you can mop it up.” Then the asari sighed heavily, giving John a piercing look. ‘ What do you plan to do, boy? You gonna take the leap or let her go? That’s really what this amounts to... and I’d bet every credit I have that _she’s_ already made her choice.”

John smiled, looking down and running his hands through his hair. “Wouldn’t be a fair bet,” he replied, glancing over at Sol. “She said yes… made me feel like a complete asshole when she did it too.” 

“Well… good thing you don’t look the part. That might be a real sticky situation for her, indeed,” Nana cackled. She was still smiling when she glanced at something off the screen. “Just remember that the next time you ask if this is fair to her or not- she _chose_ you. As it is, she’ll expect _you_ to mark _her_ sooner rather than later.”

“I swear, I don’t know why I fucking talk to you sometimes,” John growled. “I just find it hard to believe that as soon as I chomp down on her neck like a piece of goddamn meat it means I’ve signed up to spend the rest of our lives together...it boggles my fucking mind.” 

“Hormones, Johnny. It’s all about the hormones. Turians are a weird lot, I’m not gonna jerk your chain about that. The mark… think of it as a wedding ring. The difference is… turians are bound by chemistry through it…. I’m not a scientist." Nana seemed more than a little frustrated in making an attempt to explain it to him. "Get that doctor of yours to explain the details.” 

“I’ll just take your word for it,” John replied, blowing out a deep breath. “Guess I’ll ask her about it as soon as she wakes up… I’m sure this conversation is going to go over like a goddamn lead balloon- ‘hey Sol, I know we just talked about this today, and I get that you got attacked by a biotic psycho this evening, but do you mind getting fake married real quick so we can keep you out of Brain Camp 2.0? It’ll just be a moment’.”

Nana moaned and dropped her face into her hands. “Fine, boy. It’s pretty obvious you’re about to have a tantrum over this. How do _you_ propose you keep your would-be mate out of her asshole daddy’s talons? You know the second he figures out his girl is a biotic… _and_ about to mate with a human, he’s going to come completely unglued.”

“I know!” John yelled, wincing when he saw Sol stir. Instantly, he leaned over and kissed her head, stroking her cheek until she settled back down. “I know,” he repeated, much quieter this time. “It’s just… does it have to be like this? She deserves more- she deserves to do this when she wants to, not because she has to get away from her dickwad of a dad.” 

“When she wakes up… ask her what she wants. It’s that or…” Nana sighed and shook her head, running her hands over her scalp. “It’s that… or she stays on the Citadel with me and I take her to Omega and train her in secret.”

“No!” John barked, surprising himself with the amount of force in his tone. “I… I want her to train, but I don’t want her to feel like she’s _wrong_ , Nana- you were a mean old bat, but you didn’t make me feel like I was wrong for being what I _was_. That… that just feels like I’m casting her out… and I don’t want that.”

“ _You aren’t turian, John!”_ Nana yelled and took a breath, dropping her voice a moment later. “They cast out their biotics… that’s how they do things. They do that because their pride gets in the fucking way. Bunch of damn idiots if you ask me, but they can’t stand to admit to the galaxy that they mishandle eezo from time to time.” She glared at him for a moment and bit her lower lip in irritation. “This has to be done right or you’re gonna lose the girl.”

“I can’t lose her, Nana,” John replied, turning to Sol. “She’s the best damn thing I’ve ever had… and she’s more than I deserve.”

Nana growled at him and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Always did have that ‘I don’t deserve’ complex. Guess what… people rarely get what they deserve. That’s the way life works, son. You go with the flow or the current sweeps you under. Your choice.” 

“I’m not deciding this for her,” he said firmly. “This is her life too, Nana- she deserves to have a say in how this goes.” 

Nana gave him a calculating look at that and finally nodded. “I’ll call her mother, give her a few toned-down details. I’m sure she’ll have a few things she wants to discuss with the two of you. Maybe she can talk some sense into you, but… in the meantime… I may still meet you at the Citadel. Got a feelin’ you’re gonna need some backup where Castis is concerned.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” John replied, exhaling deeply. “When I get a hold of Janey and Gar, I’ll fill them in… but I just really want to talk to Sol first.” He clasped his hands behind his head, then closed his eyes. “It’s her future too.” 

Nana deliberately crossed her eyes at him and snorted. “So thick between the ears you can’t hear a damn thing, aren’t ya, boy. How many times have I told you to _talk_ to the girl? Told ya to _ask_ her what she wants, but you’re so twisted up about that marking bit, you can’t dig the muck out of your ears long enough to hear. You’re right, it _is_ her future too… which is why you’re gonna _talk to her_ … or I’m gonna put a foot so far up your ass, you’ll be spittin’ out toenails.”

“Yes ma’am,” John replied, feeling appropriately chastised- she was right, as usual. “I’ll talk to her as soon as she wakes up… as much as I want to, I don’t think I can wait.”

“See that you do, you thick-headed brat! I’ll get in touch with Yeloris shortly.” Nana gave him a nod and a half-smile. “About time you started thinkin’. Something of what I taught you must have stuck after all.”

“It was bound to happen sometime,” John replied, shaking his head as she disconnected the call.

_ _

* * *

Joker was still trying and failing to raise Jane on the comms when he heard footsteps coming up from behind him. “Kinda busy here,” he shot back, groaning as he got nothing but static from yet another channel. “Any chance you could come back later…” The pilot whirled around and saw Ash leaning against the doorway and frowned. “...or never.” 

“Can I ask you a question?” Ash asked, her voice not cutting or biting for once.

Joker rolled his eyes, wondering exactly what was going to be the joke or punchline this time. “No one’s been able to stop you yet… why should now be any different?” 

She sighed, ignoring his snide remark and moving to sit next to him. “Have you been able to see if Sol is ok?” 

_That wasn’t what I was expecting,_ he thought, staring at the woman with confusion. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Tiny went nuclear back there… Johnny’s in there with her, but he hasn’t called me for anything.” He glanced over at Ash for a minute, then sighed. “He needs to get some rest and clean himself up, but I can’t get him to leave the room.” 

“I can go stay with her,” Ash offered, twisting her hands. “It’s my fault she’s in there, after all.” 

“Didn’t know you were in league with the douchecanoe,” Joker replied, twisting in his seat. “Hell, if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine… I told Johnny that he needed to get to know him better.” He sighed, leaning his head back against the seat. “If I’d just fucking _listened-_ ” 

“Looks like we’ve all fucked up this time, huh?” Ash said quietly, dropping her head. “I just… I feel so bad, Joker… Nih is guarding that asshole, but I feel like I should be doing something, you know?” She swallowed, then glanced up at the pilot. “You didn’t see her,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “She was all bloody and bruised… just laying there in Johnny’s arms.” Ash ran her hands over her arms, looking like she was trying to get warm. “You’d think that blue blood wouldn’t be as disturbing as red, but… it’s still bad, man.”

“Thought you hated her,” Joker asked, confused as to why Ash actually gave a shit. “You tried to bump her off before- why do you care now?”

“I… I was jealous,” she admitted, twisting her hair between her fingers. “But.. Sol was nice to me. Even when I was a bitch to her, she was never mean to me… and she should’ve been.” Ash looked up at the ceiling, and Joker could see tears forming in her eyes. “I fucked up,” she mumbled, wiping her eyes. “I should have seen this coming.” 

For the first time in his life, Joker felt like he was at a loss for words- out of all the things he’d expected to see and hear, watching bitchy barbie cry over a turian was the last thing on his list. “Hey,” he said softly, “it’s not your fault, BB… none of us knew it would get this bad.” Glancing down at the monitors, he tapped his fingers against the console. “Look, Johnny isn’t responding to me… maybe if you offered to sit with Tiny for a while, he could go take a shower and get cleaned up… I’m sure sitting around in all that crap can’t be good for him.” 

“Yeah,” Ash sniffed, wiping her face on her sleeve as she rose from her seat, “you’re probably right… I’ll go… get him something to eat and sit with Sol- he could use a break.”

“Make sure it stays in the wrapper,” Joker called out after her, watching as Ash turned back to look at him. “We don’t trust your ass that much, BB.” 

“Fuck you, Joker,” Ash replied as she walked out of the cockpit. The soldier flipped him off as she left, but Joker could see that for the first time since she’d walked in with him, the woman finally had a smile on her face. 

_ _

* * *

John was sitting on the bed when he heard a knock at Sol’s door. Slowly, he got up and headed to the terminal, his eyes going wide with shock when he saw Ash standing there. “Wrong room,” he said, opening the door and looking her up and down. “Thanks for coming.” 

“You look like shit,” she said, ignoring his response and shifting from foot to foot. “You should go take a shower, Johnny… and eat something.” She extended a protein bar to him, then looked back at the floor. “It’s not chocolate, and it’s still sealed…” she said quickly, “I just thought you might need something to eat… it’s been a long day.”

“Why are you here?” John asked, staring at her. “You don’t like her and you don’t like me, Ash- what possible reason could you have to be here? Are you here to gloat about my wife having the shit beat out of her?” His face tensed and he had to work to tamper down his biotics. “What is it you _want_ , Ash?” 

“To help,” she said quietly. “I feel bad… Sol didn’t deserve this- I want to apologize to her… because I didn’t stop this,” Ash croaked, her voice shaky. “If I’d caught on to how he was, I would’ve let Nih shoot him… and none of this would’ve happened!” 

Watching as his former fiance stood in the doorway on the brink of tears, John sighed. “Get in here,” he said gruffly. “You’re going to let the cat out.” 

“JC won’t leave without Sol or Tali,” Ash replied, looking around the room and dabbing at her eyes. “Sol trained him really well.”

John raised his eyebrows at the soldier. “JC?”

Ash just stared right back at him. “Wife?” 

Realizing what he’d said, John gave the soldier a wry smile and ran his hands through his hair. “Testing it out... looks like you’re the first person onboard to know… I guess you should feel privileged.”

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I do.” Ash swallowed, then looked at the floor. “Congratulations, Johnny… I’m so sorry this had to happen to you two.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Ash?” John asked, staring at her with confusion. “Kinda thought you’d be tossing shit around the room by now.”

“If it’d make you feel better, I could… but I don’t think Sol would take too kindly to me fucking up her shit,” Ash replied, brushing her hair out of her face as she sat down in the seat across from the bed. “Sol and I… we’ve been trying out being civil to each other. She said it wasn’t worth it to be mad at me,” Ash mused, shaking her head with disbelief. “How does someone like that end up like this, Johnny? It should’ve been a bitch like me… then no one would be this damn upset.”

“Nih would,” John said teasingly, sitting down next to Sol and watching as Ash rolled her eyes. “And even though we’re not together, I wouldn’t want anything like this to happen to you, either. Besides,” he said, looking over at Sol, “everyone on this ship knows you’re too fucking mean to get your ass beat, Ash.” 

“Except by Sol, apparently,” Ash replied, chuckling and rubbing her cheek. “Man, she doesn’t look it, but your girl packs a punch like a goddamn train, Johnny- might want to lay off on the asshole bits before she kicks your ass.” 

“That’s my girl,” he said, gently stroking Sol’s cheek. “Look… I’m sorry about everything that went down with us… you didn’t deserve that, Ash, and I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged, bending down to pet the cat that had wound itself around her ankles. “I kinda did,” she replied, staring as the ball of fur pressed itself into her hand. “I shouldn’t have ever forced you to choose or feel like you couldn’t be yourself with me.” Then she closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. “Go shower, Johnny… I’ll sit here with Sol.”

“I have to be here if she wakes up,” he shot back, panic rising in his throat. “She can’t be alone when she wakes up.”

“She won’t be alone,” Ash replied, reaching over to the table and grabbing a datapad. “I left this here with her,” she said, shuffling through and settling on something. “I told her about poetry and she wanted to read it.”

“That’s really nice of you,” John said quietly, trying to stop himself from fidgeting, “but I need to be-”

“Get yourself cleaned up,” Ash said quietly, pulling the chair next to the bed and staring at him with a level of kindness he hadn’t seen on her face in years. “And turn on the comms and cams in here.” Wordlessly, John did as she asked, frowning when she turned her face to the ceiling. “Joker, can you hear me?” 

“Loud and clear, BB,” came the reply. “What do you need?”

She smiled sadly, then turned to look at John. “Can you keep an eye on things in here while I read to Sol? John needs to go take a shower, and I want him to know we’ve got his wife covered, all right?”

“His- “ Joker paused, then exhaled. “You know what, not my business,” he said firmly. “Today’s already six types of fucked up- what’s one more?” Ash didn’t say anything else- she just tapped her fingers on the datapad, waiting on the pilot to answer her question. “Yeah, go shower,” Joker responded, causing John to stare at Ash in disbelief. “We got this- I’ll get tall, dark, and spiky number two in here on the double if anything happens.” 

“Thanks,” John said shakily, trying not to lose what little composure he had. “A shower… sounds good right now.”

“Then go do it,” Ash replied, opening the datapad and turning toward the turian. “Joker and I have this covered for you… I owe you both that much.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Ash,” John replied, feeling a sense of gratitude toward the woman he’d never expected to feel. “But you definitely have my thanks.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who participated in the giveaway- I'm so excited to send out gifts!
> 
> Winners will be notified by December 4th via email, and the bundles are ALL DONE! As soon as I get the addresses, your prize will be shipped! Also, this means I get to remove the crate of loot from my living room, so everyone will be happy once again. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	46. Unexpected Outcomes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker gets in contact with Jane; Sol wakes up

_ _

* * *

Joker had been trying to reach Jane for what felt like an eternity, with no success. Groaning, he banged his head on the console, unwilling to believe a day could possibly be this bad.  _ Nothing better have happened to this girl,  _ Joker grumbled, flipping switches to no avail.  _ And if it did, I refuse to be trapped on this ship with another walking bomb when he finds out.  _

Suddenly, Tali snapped her head up, looking wildly around the cockpit as the horrible howling and banging started up again. “Why have they started back up again! What did we do?”

“We?” Joker squawked, looking at the quarian with shock. “What’s this  _ we _ shit? You and Johnny were the ones screwing around with everything that wasn’t nailed down- did you guys turn zombie radio up to 11 or something?” 

Before Tali could retort, the comms let out a screech and began blaring, and Garrus’s voice echoed through the cockpit, flooding Joker with a sense of relief. “Well, that’s one way to do it,” he drawled, followed by Wrex chuckling. “Let it never be said my mate doesn’t do things with flair.” 

“Holy fuck!” Joker yelled, shooting up out of his seat and instantly regretting the motion. “We’ve been trying to reach you bastards forever!”

He’d never been so happy to hear Jane’s voice in his life. “We’re in the ExoGeni headquarters- there was a big ass forcefield around the place- that might be what was stopping the comms.” 

“Well stop dicking around and get back here,” he shot back. “We’ve got so many fucked up situations here that I’m starting to lose count! Sol-” Before he could continue, he felt a hand on his arm and Tali began shaking her head furiously- Joker swallowed and changed tactics. “Sol found out that something’s infecting the colonists. Unfortunately, she found this out right before they all started going crazy and trying to eat the fucking ship!” 

“Is everyone on board?” Jane asked, her voice tight. “Is everyone all right?”

_ By the loosest fucking definition,  _ Joker thought, looking over at Tali. “We’re all on board and uneaten,” he replied, giving her the truest answer he could under the circumstances. “But I’d really like to keep it that way, so if you don’t mind finishing up whatever you’re doing and getting back here, I think we’d all be ever so grateful to  _ get off this fucking planet!” _

“Understood,” Jane replied tersely, no doubt knowing he was hiding something but having the good sense not to ask. “We’re on our way back- we’ve found some crazy shit, but it doesn’t all exactly make sense just yet.”   


“Figure it out quick,” Joker replied, checking the scanners. “There’s a large group of geth coming your way, and I don’t think it’s to bake cookies.” 

“Got it,” Jane answered, pausing a moment before continuing. “Joker… what aren’t you telling me?” When he hesitated, she sighed. “I’m on a different channel and I have my head inside a panel right now,” Jane said quietly. “Talk to me.” 

“I can’t,” he replied honestly, sighing. “Just hurry up and get back here… everyone’s alive,” he said quickly, knowing that Tali was giving him the evil eye under that mask, “but… it’s not good, Jane Brain.” 

Jane sighed softly. “Are we talking El Paso kicked out of the bar levels of tits up or New York levels?” 

“New York plus DC,” Joker replied, earning himself a loud ‘FUCK’ from Jane- he winced. “Johnny’s trying to handle it… but we need you guys back so we can get out of here.” 

“Got it,” she said, and he could hear other voices on the comms again. “We’re heading back- Dream team out.”

She turned off the comms, and Tali whirled around in her seat. “You bosh’tet! Why would you tell her that kind of thing!” 

“It’s Jane,” Joker said wearily, slumping over in his seat. “She knew something was up, and the last thing I wanted her doing was calling Johnny and finding out about all this shit… which she would’ve done had I not given her something.” 

“Ah.” Tali paused, then her head cocked and she raised a finger- by now the banging and scratching had become background noise, but Joker had no doubt he’d be hearing it in his nightmares. “What is a New York?” 

Joker sighed. “Jane and Johnny were stationed out there- Anderson swung it that they were both assigned to units in the same area. So we all go out one night, and some moron pushes me over, breaking my arm… well, Johnny was drunk, and he didn’t take that little act well- biotically blew the dude into the wall. He took a lot of shit for that one…never complained, though.” 

“Oh,” Tali said quietly, nodding with understanding. “This situation is definitely New York levels of bad, then.”    
  
“Yep,” Joker replied, looking over at the colonists scrambling over each other, screaming as their hands scraped against the hull, “it sure is.” 

_ _

* * *

As he drove along the skyway, Garrus glanced over at the woman in the car with them, watching as she hugged her arms around herself and eyed Wrex warily.  _ Must think he’s like the krogan we found roaming the facility _ , he thought, keeping his eye on the road and swerving to avoid the enemy fire. The Mako swerved but didn’t stop, and he thanked the spirits they didn’t teeter over the edge. _ If Jane were driving we’d all be dead _ , he thought, shooting a glance at his wife. 

“Lizbeth,” Jane said tersely, staring at the woman sitting next to her, “what the fuck is going on with the colonists? Why are they attacking my goddamn ship?”

“The thorian,” she said weakly, nervously tapping her foot. “I told you, ExoGeni was using the people as test subjects…and the Thorian can manipulate minds. It must be controlling the colonists and making them attack.”

Liara huffed. “And you did it to them- our medic says that they are all infected- why wouldn’t you help those people?” 

“I’m trying to stop it!” Lizbeth yelled, her voice sounding dangerously close to tears. “I’ve been trying to stop it for a while- when the higher-ups caught me doing it, they put me on probation… I know it was wrong, but I was scared- I didn’t want them to turn me into one of their subjects,” she whispered. “I tried to send a message to Colonial Affairs, but…” 

“The geth,” Jane replied, earning a growl from Wrex as he blasted through more geth blocking their path. “They cut off our comms when we entered the building… the same thing must’ve happened to you.” 

“Yeah,” she replied, jerking her head up at the sound of a voice breaking through the comms as they approached the ExoGeni bunker. “That’s my mom! I have to go help her!” 

“Calm down,” Jane said, but it was too late- the woman had opened the door and leaped out, rolling across the gravel and racing toward the bunker. “Crap! We gotta go stop that goddamn woman- she’s the only one who knows what the hell to do about the people down there!”

“Close the door- I’ll take us in!” Garrus yelled over the noise. “We know where she’s headed!” Slamming the door shut, Jane hopped in the front seat- her face was pinched and pale, but she remained quiet. “We’ll find her,” he told her, resting a hand on her thigh as they drove. “I won’t let you down, Jane.”

“I know you won’t,” Jane replied, resting her hand on his. “You never do.” 

_ _

* * *

The hall was finally quiet- now that the banging had stopped, Nihlus felt like he could finally see straight again. He was leaning against the door when he heard footsteps approaching. “Hey,” Ash said quietly, looking up at him. He could tell she’d taken a shower- her hair was still wet and he could smell the scent of soap clinging to her skin. “You need a break, Nih.” 

“I’m fine,” he replied, leaning against the doorframe. “The banging has stopped- get some sleep, Ash.”

She just poked him in the waist and he hissed, glaring at her. “That’s what I thought,” Ash said firmly. “You’re not okay- even though you’re a tough-ass bastard, you still got hit with a pile of rocks, Nih… you need to go get looked at.” 

“As I said before… I’m fine,” he replied witheringly, leaning down and lightly nipping her neck and making her giggle. “I’m more concerned about you getting some rest- you humans need more sleep.” 

“And I’m more concerned with you getting off your feet and getting looked at,” she retorted, gently pushing him away from the door. “Go… I need my squad leader healthy- who knows what’s going to happen if you get taken out and I have to go to Jane’s team?” 

“She’d gain a great soldier,” Nihlus replied, looking over at her. “You don’t need me to keep you in line anymore, Ash.” 

“What if I still want you to?” She replied, biting her lip and staring at him with those intriguing eyes of hers. “We make a good team… no sense in splitting up what works, right?”

“If I leave, will you drop this inane conversation?” Nihlus asked, earning an eye roll from the soldier. “Fine... if it will ease your little mind, I will go get looked at- happy now?” 

“Yes… yes I am,” Ash replied, smirking back at him. “Or I will be… as soon as you take your leathery ass to the medbay.”

Flicking his mandibles with amusement, Nih couldn’t help himself. “Admit it, you like this leathery ass of mine.”

“Never said I didn’t,” Ash replied, making him chuckle as he stared at her- it didn’t deter the woman. “Stop stalling, Nih.” 

“Spirits above, why do I deal with you?” Nih asked, cocking his brow-plate at her. “You are insufferable tonight, you know that?”

“Hey Chakwas,” Ash said into her comm, staring straight at him and smirking the entire time. “I got a turian here who got hit with a pile of rocks this afternoon- don’t you think he should be seen down there… considering he’s probably fucking up whatever work you did on him earlier running around out here.” 

“I dislike you very much right now,” he mouthed, glaring at the soldier- Ash just smiled. “Why are you so insistent on my health tonight?” 

“Because you won’t do it for yourself,” she replied. “If I could’ve gotten into the dextro drawer, I would’ve gotten you something to eat, but thanks to this asshole…” Ash shot a menacing look at the door, then huffed. “Anyway, someone’s gotta look out for you… after all, you’d do it for me, right?”

He felt a small lump in his throat as he blinked at the woman in front of him, then forced himself to straighten up. “Of course… and thank you- whether I voice it or not, your concern means a lot.”

“Then prove it,” she said quietly, turning away from him and staring at the ceiling. “Go get checked out, Nih… I need you out here.” 

_ _

* * *

Sol opened her eyes, feeling as if they were glued to her plates.  _ Everything hurts _ , she thought, wincing as she moved. _ Where am I?  _

“Hey,” John murmured, placing a kiss on her nose and rubbing her cheek with his hand. “How’s my favorite turian doing?” She watched as his eyes roamed over her face, checking for something. “How do you feel?” 

“Like a kantog ran me over,” she replied, wincing as she tried to sit up. “Why am I in my room? What happened?” Sol moved to press her hand against her throbbing head, frowning as she saw the glint of metal on her arm. “Um,” she asked, thrusting her hands out in front of her and seeing the strange bracelets clamped around her wrists, “what are these? Why am I wearing this?”   


John winced, settling next to her on the bed and taking her hand in his. “Would you believe me if I said that it was a new type of engagement jewelry?” 

Sol scowled, an angry hum rising in her throat. “No.”

John looked up at the ceiling and ran his hands through his hair. “I didn’t think so.” Her growl grew louder when he didn’t elaborate further, and he sighed. “What do you remember, Tiny?” 

“I-” Sol paused, thinking about it for a moment. “I was in the medbay,” she said slowly, running through the events in her head. “Alenko…” The mention of his name made her eyes go wide and she let out a keen, bringing her hands to her throat. “He… he…”

“Shhh,” John murmured, pulling her close to him. “He’s not going to hurt you anymore, Tiny- I’m here,” he said, running his hand over her back. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“He tried to kill me,” she whispered, her face buried in his chest. “He hit me, choked me… and threatened to kill you.” Merely thinking that last part was enough to make her keen even harder, and without thinking about what she was doing, Sol grabbed him tightly around his waist. “I wasn’t going to let him hurt you, Johnny… I wanted to stop him… but I didn’t know what to do and then everything started burning and-”   
  
“I know,” he said soothingly. “Tiny, it’s ok… I’m ok, alright? We got a long ass life ahead of us- I’ll be damned if that asshole takes away the chance for me to annoy you for the rest of our days.” Despite her anguish, Sol laughed, and John lifted her face and pressed his forehead to hers. “However, we do need to talk,” he said cautiously, holding her hands. “And as much as I hate being serious, I think we have to be.” 

Sol felt the wind fly out of her chest- John was many things, but serious was the one thing he tended to avoid at all costs.  _ This is big _ , she thought dejectedly, nodding as she stared up at him and wincing as the pain shot through her body. “What’s going on?”

“First off, I have to tell you I love you and I am here for you one hundred percent,” John replied, dodging her question and looking down at the bed. “I need you to know that, Tiny.” 

“I do,” Sol replied carefully, her eyes narrowing with confusion and concern. “But I don’t think that’s the issue here, is it?”

“Not really,” he said wearily, scooting back on the bed and resting his head against the wall. “Look, I don’t have the tact levels necessary to do this gently, so I’m just gonna spit it out... did you know you’re a biotic, Sol?”

Sol shot up from his lap, instantly regretting the movement- the room began to spin and she wobbled, John’s steady hands reaching out to stop her from falling backward. “I’m not!” Sol cried, her eyes going wide. “I can’t be- that kind of thing is found when you’re a fledgling!” Pulse racing, Sol tried to pull away, but John held her tight. “Why… why would you say something like that?”

“Sol, honey, listen to me,” John said calmly, holding her firm and resting his head on hers. Even though she wanted to struggle, the scent of him filling her nostrils and the sensation of his skin against hers deflated some of her struggle, causing her to close her eyes and relax. “It happened for me like that too- you were lucky because I was able to get to you before you did any damage to anything. That’s why the bracelets are on you- until we can get someone to train you to use this properly, you’re like a walking bomb, Tiny… so,” he said, clearing his throat, “we have to get you to the Citadel.” 

She snapped her head up so fast he had to jerk to avoid being hit. “I can’t!” Her eyes darted around the room, the panic returning with a roaring intensity. “If I go back, they’re going to send me away! I’m not leaving you guys!” Sol felt like Alenko’s hands were around her throat again and she gasped, clutching at John’s arms. “You’re supposed to be my mate, Johnny- why would you even suggest something like that!” 

“I am,” he replied, his grey eyes serious. “That’s why you’re not in cuffs- I refused to let them do that. That’s also why I talked to Nana about this… and she gave me some options, but I need to talk to you about it first.” 

Sol paused, the panic still dancing around her chest. “I don’t want to be Cabal,” she whispered, shaking her head furiously. “They’ll take me away and never let me come back, Johnny- that’s what they do to turians like me… I don’t want-”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he insisted, gripping her wrists and locking eyes with hers. “And that includes anything I have to tell you- whatever you choose, I’ll support you no matter what- it’s you and me, Tiny… I need you to know that.” 

“Johnny,” Sol pleaded, her body vibrating as she tried to stay calm, “please… just tell me… what can I do? My dad is going to send me away,” she whispered. She was digging her talons into his arm, but if John minded, he never said a word. “He’s never going to let me stay with them… I’m going to be disowned, John.” 

“Then stay with me,” he replied, leaning closer. “You’re my mate,” he said, then winced. “Ok, this sounds really weird to me, so can we play ‘appease the human’ and say wife for a bit?” 

Sol just scowled at him and punched him in the arm. “ _ Spirits _ , how can you  _ possibly  _ be this annoying? Wife, mate, I don’t care at this point- I just need you to focus, Johnny!” 

“Fair enough,” John said with a grin, and Sol instantly realized that the man was once again trying to get her to calm down. “We have 3 options- one, we let your dickhead dad go ahead and cart you off to turian brain camp, which I fucking refuse to let happen, so let’s move on. Option two is we let you stay with Nana.” Sol drew in her breath in a hiss, but John just sighed and continued anyway. “She’d take you with her to Omega and train you there- she says they’d let her do it, but I don’t know who’d tell the old bat she couldn’t do something anyway.”

“I don’t want to leave, but spirits know that I don’t want to become Cabal,” Sol said quietly, her eyes focusing on John’s face. “What’s the third option?”

He sighed, then looked down, clearly embarrassed about even approaching it with her. “I could… um, what’s the word?” He fumbled for a moment, rubbing his hand over the junction between his neck and collarbone. “Um… mark you? Mark me? Nana said that your dad would have to honor what I want for you then… and I could take responsibility for you?” He squeezed his eyes shut, his face going pinched as he let out a rapid-fire stream of words. “I just know that sort of thing is like marriage for us, and I just asked you yesterday and I know that it’s way too fast but-”

Sol’s eyes went wide- her jaw snapped open, but no sound came out, and she just stared at the man in front of her. “So you want to seal our bonding… so my father doesn’t send me away?”

John nodded, staring up at her. “Yeah, I guess that’s my intention.” 

“Then no,” Sol said firmly, getting up from the bed, her steps wobbly. “You know, I don’t think you fully understand what this means, John,” she said coldly, trying to get up and get some space so she could  _ think _ . “You still seem to be thinking about this in human terms- did you mean what you asked me, Johnny? When you asked me to be your mate, did you mean it?” 

“I did- no, I do,” he shot back, correcting himself. John eyed her as she teetered on her feet, then ran over to hold her up. “I meant every word, Tiny- it’s you and me… that’s it.” 

“Then why are you so damned afraid of the bloody marks?” Sol shot back. “It’s a  _ formality _ ,” she hissed, poking him in the chest. “It’s an old tradition so stodgy old turians like my father recognize unions when there’s no bonding agreement in place…  _ like for us!” _

John’s face went slack for a moment, then a light seemed to come on in his head. “Oh...Nana didn’t really make that part clear.” Then he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her against him and resting his head on her shoulder. “So in human terms, we’re already married? Like, you guys just declare it and that’s it?” 

Sol shrugged, letting him guide her back to the bed. “The bonding ceremonies only solidify lands and titles- it’s…” she paused, searching for the words as she sat back down. “Like paperwork. It’s a way to tell others what we already knew the moment we mated.” 

“But… you guys usually do the-” he grasped at his neck and pointed to hers, “during sex, right? I know we haven’t discussed all this yet… I was kinda hoping to have this conversation after we got off the ship and not while we have an asshole down the hall that I desperately want to feed to that zombie horde outside.”John looked her over, then took her hands in his. “Are you sure about this, Tiny? Once we’re in, there’s no going back- I said I was only doing this once, and I meant it.”

Sol just smiled, leaning her head against him and letting out a low rumble in her chest. “There was never any going back with me, John- when I said I was your mate, I meant it.”

“Well, then we need to figure out what to do,” John said firmly, “Cause we gotta get you to Nana and we gotta get this asswipe off this bird- I’m done fucking around. My wife-” he said proudly, staring at her with so much pride it made a flush creep up the side of her neck, “is not going anywhere. Sorry to say this, Tiny, but he can fucking bite me on that one.” 

Sol just laughed, pressing her face to his. “Isn’t that my job now?” 

“Yeah,” John replied, laughing as he shook his head. “I guess it is. Now let's just hope we can take care of the murderous book club outside so we can get our own shit together.”


	47. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dream Team is looking for the Thorian, but Jane's nerves are starting to fray; Nih has an interesting conversation with Joker

_ _

* * *

Garrus watched as Jane faced down the bureaucrat, her grey eyes hard as steel. _Wrong move,_ he thought, crossing his arms and trying not to smile. Ethan Jeong had been waving a pistol at Lizbeth’s mother, but Jane had quickly called a halt to that. She’d also gone from mad to pissed off when Jeong mentioned that he wanted to exterminate the colonists. However, when he insinuated he knew something about Jane, Garrus let out an amused-sounding rumble and stepped back, knowing that his mate was about to let him have it. 

Liara started to walk over to Jane, but Wrex reached out a hand and clamped it on her shoulder. “Best to sit back and watch the show,” he rumbled, guiding the Asari back. “The commander looks like she’s about to go nuclear on these pyjacks.”  
  
If Jane heard them, she was ignoring them with absolute precision. “You mean to tell me…” she growled, stepping forward and making the nervous man take a step back, the gun wavering in his hand, “that you… want to destroy… a whole colony of people that _your_ company infected… and you think that a _spectre_ is going to be okay with that?” Her eyes flicked down to the gun trembling in his hand and she snarled, her petite features twisting with rage. “You better drop that gun _right fucking now_ before I snatch it out of your hands and beat you to death with it!”

Instantly, the man went white in the face- the gun dropped harmlessly to the floor. “Should’ve known better than to threaten her,” Garrus snarked as he moved to pick it up, shaking his head at the man. “Never goes well for anyone when they do that.”

“My _brother_ and _sister_ are back there, being attacked by the people who _trusted_ you!” Jane grabbed the man by the collar and hoisted him on his toes. “You will _fix_ this shit! And don’t _think_ your little weasely ass is going to lie to my face and then try to squirm your bitch ass out of it, because I’m going to make it my _personal fucking mission_ to make sure your goddamn company sets things right!” 

The man nodded furiously, then Lizbeth’s mother, Juliana, stepped up. “We can save the colonists, she replied, gesturing to a crate in the back of the room. “Those grenades in there are full of anti-Thorian gas- theoretically, it should take down the colonists without harming them.”

“I don’t like to deal in ‘theoretically’ when my family is on the line,” Jane warned, fixing the woman with an icy stare. “I’m gonna need a little more to go on.” 

Garrus frowned- this wasn’t like Jane at all. True, she could be curt, but she was never usually this hostile with people she didn’t know- something was wrong. He didn’t have time to parse it out though- the woman swallowed, then turned back to Jane. “The gas should work because their systems are weakened,” she said slowly. “It would be enough to incapacitate because of the spores in their bloodstream, but weak enough to leave them alive.” 

“I guess that’ll have to do,” Jane grumbled, then turned to Wrex. “Can you load that up? Cause if things are as bad back there as Joker says, we’re gonna need the entire lot of them.” 

After loading up on grenades, they made their way back to the camp, the air inside the vehicle tense- no one was speaking, and everyone was trying not to think about just how bad it might be out there. _That might be their crew, but it’s our family,_ Garrus thought nervously, trying to focus on driving. _Sprits, I hope everyone is okay._

As they got out of the Mako, there was a folded-up creature laying on the ground- Jane let out a hushed curse. “Shit,” she hissed, eyeing it warily. “Geth are here too? Are the colonists okay?” 

“They _are_ trying to kill everyone, Shep,” Wrex replied, looking warily at the folded figure. “I mean... if a few of them don’t make it, then…” 

“We’re _not_ killing anyone,” Liara snapped, making Jane laugh- the asari had held her own today, and he was proud of her. “If it’s a geth, we take care of it… right, Shepard?” 

“Right,” Jane replied, resting her hand on one of the grenades Juliana had given her, just in case. She started to creep forward, then paused. “Joker,” she hissed into the comms, “the colonists still look like colonists, right? They didn’t turn into plant geth or anything, right?” 

“Negative,” he replied, “I’m staring at them now. Still got a sweet looking grandma and grandpa scratching at our hull”. Then the pilot paused, and Jane heard him swear. “Welp, scratch that. They were scratching at our hull- now they’ve all turned and headed off…”

“That must mean they’re headed our way,” Garrus muttered, looking at the creature in front of his mate. Suddenly, it jumped at Jane, hissing and spitting at her. Before she could react, Garrus had knocked her out of the way, shooting the thing in the head with his pistol.

“Goddess!” Liara exclaimed, peering at the corpse-like creature. Where its eyes should be were only dark, sunken recesses, and instead of fingers, there were long, sharp claws. “What are these things!”

“Not sure, but they look like the things we saw on Saleon’s ship,” he said, extending his hand to Jane. “You’re tough, but I’d prefer it if my mate didn’t take a bath in acid just so she could match her twin.”

“Technically, he’s trying to look like me,” Jane replied, grunting as she got to her feet. “But yeah, duly noted- shoot the creepy things, gas grandma.” She scanned the area for more of the creatures, then called Joker on the comms again. “Everyone ok?” 

“Don’t you think I should be asking you that?” Joker asked, causing Wrex to chuckle. “All the colonists have left- be careful, Brainy- they’re a lot stronger than they look.”

“Always,” Jane replied, taking a deep breath. “We got grenades that are supposed to be loaded with anti-creepy gas- hopefully it works and they stop trying to eat us.”

“And if it doesn’t?” Joker asked, his voice low. “What then?”

“We knock them the fuck out,” Jane answered curtly. “I got Liara- she can toss these fuckers like rag dolls. Look, I don’t care if they end up with the headache from hell… just as long as they wake up and aren’t trying to munch on us when they do.”

“Sound plan,” the pilot replied, “Good luck, Dream team.” 

_ _

* * *

“Any more of those colonists?” Wrex roared, laughing the entire time. “I want to see how high baby blue can toss ‘em!” 

“They’re not fucking bowling pins, you overgrown turtle!” Jane shot back, firing at one of the creatures edging toward them. “This shouldn’t count as fun, Wrex!”

“You just don’t know how to have fun!” The krogan shot the approaching creature, its remains spattering the nearby colonists on the ground. “Think there’s any more of ‘em ahead or did they all get the memo to stop coming?” 

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Jane shot back, looking over at the wide chasm stretching in front of them. “What we need to do is kill the freaky mind-control plant thing… then we don’t have to worry about this shit.” She pushed a hair out of her face and frowned. “I’m getting real tired of this shit- no one seems to give a fuck about anyone else… just bullshit on top of bullshit.” 

“While I don’t disagree,” Garrus said quietly, resting a hand on her shoulder, “we still have a job to do.” When she scowled at him, he pointed to a nearby crane. “We can use that to get across. According to the scientists, the lair should be just under here somewhere.” 

“I don’t fucking care,” Jane shot back, her anger peaking. “Just get the shit done.” 

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Wrex and Garrus shoot a glance at each other while Liara made her way over to the controls. As she leaned against a nearby crate, Jane took a deep breath. She knew the situation wasn’t Garrus’s fault, and she knew Wrex was just trying to get her to take a moment to get her bearings, but all the stress and uncertainty was wearing on her nerves. _It’s always a company,_ she thought hotly, the memories of Akuze and Cerberus bearing down on her. _They never care about what happens to anyone… it’s the same old shit._

“Want to talk about it?” Her husband’s smooth tones startled her out of her dark thoughts, making her jump. When she didn’t respond, he sighed and slid down next to her. “Out with it,” he said firmly. “You’ve been upset ever since we got through to the Normandy… and you almost shot that man earlier.” Before she could protest, he held up a warning finger. “Not that he didn’t deserve it, but you usually don’t try to shoot those who don’t shoot at one of us first, so tell me...what’s bothering you?”

“This isn’t the time to talk about my feelings,” Jane grumbled, not wanting to look up at him. Exhaling, she wiped her face and tried to get to her feet. “Let’s get this shit over with.”

“No,” he said gently, his blue eyes looking her over, no doubt trying to suss out the truth- some days, she could forget that he was a detective, but this was not one of them. “If you keep going like this, you’re going to say or do something you regret. If you need to get mad, get mad at me.” 

Jane sighed and brushed her hair off her forehead. “You haven’t done anything wrong.” 

His expression didn’t change. “Neither have Wrex and Liara.” 

Unable to argue with his point, Jane settled back on the ground and leaned her head against the crate. “Every company is the same,” she mumbled. “ExoGeni is no fucking better than Cerberus- they’re fucking willing to murder everyone to keep their damn secrets. And that damn secret-” Jane paused, then took a deep breath. “That secret put my family in danger, and even though he won’t tell me what it is, I know something is wrong, Garrus... “ She sighed, then put her head in her hands. “For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have something to lose out here, and companies like this…” 

“You aren’t going to lose anyone,” he said staunchly. “I’m here, and I’m always going to have your six. John’s on the ship, and he’s got everyone there covered, and what he’s checked twice, Nihlus will have rechecked at least two more times. You can trust your team,” Garrus whispered, kissing her head and helping her to her feet. “Because we trust you.” 

Just then, Liara’s voice rang out over the comms. “I got it working! We can get across now!”  
  
Garrus glanced over at Jane, who nodded. “You ready?”

Jane nodded, taking a deep breath and choosing to focus on him instead of her nerves and irritation. “Yeah, big guy,” she replied, taking his hand. “Let’s go kick this plant’s ass.” 

A deep, throaty laugh rang out over the courtyard, and Garrus squeezed her hand. “And there’s the Jane Shepard I know.” 

“Shepard- _Vakarian_ ,” she corrected, giving him a lopsided grin as they walked over to the others. “Geez, Vakarian, I thought you’d have gotten it right by now.” 

_ _

* * *

Nihlus rubbed his neck, grimacing at the browbeating he’d received from the human doctor. _I wish Miss Vakarian were there instead,_ he thought tersely, then winced. _Poor girl… she just went through all of that… only to be shipped off to the Cabal._ Nihlus shook his head, walking toward the cockpit. _Best to give her and Shepard some time together… they won’t have long together once we get to the Citadel_.

“Have you located the commander yet?” Nihlus asked Joker, causing the man to jump when he sat in the seat next to him. “We need to get your… _comrade_ off this ship, post-haste.” 

“That lying motherfucker isn’t anything to me,” Joker snapped, clearly irritated at himself. “The sooner he leaves, the better.” The pilot turned to Nihlus, his face angry. “Any good reason Johnny hasn’t flame-roasted him yet?” 

Nihlus cocked his head at the young man- surely the pilot had read the crew dossiers? “You don’t know? Alenko didn’t tell you?”

“I’m realizing that the sheer amount of things I didn’t know about that crazy bastard could fill a galaxy,” Joker snapped, glaring at the spectre. “I have eyes and ears all over this ship, but I feel like I’m blind as a goddamn bat around here.”

“Overreliance on technology will do that, “ Nihlus replied, ignoring the scathing looks from the man next to him. “I’ll admit, I was also surprised when John brought it to my attention.”

“And they call me an old woman,” Joker groused, rolling his eyes. “Spit it out, old man- what do you know?”

“He’s Udina’s nephew,” Nihlus replied, watching as the pilot’s eyes went wide. “Turns out the ambassador made a deal with Anderson for his cooperation- Alenko obtaining a post on the Normandy for his support on Jane’s candidacy.”

Joker frowned. “But I thought you and the council were the ones that made that decision- what does the ambassador have to do with that?”

“He could’ve made it a lot harder,” Nihlus admitted. “Jane… was not the ideal candidate- John was. Her… associations with Vakarian made her even less so. While my nomination was the imperative one, the ambassador’s support was important. I’d wondered why he’d settled down… now I know.” 

“So we inherited the walking crazy bomb because of him?” Joker asked incredulously. “Does Janey know?” 

“If she did, I think we’d have been having a different conversation.” Nihlus smiled and flexed his fingers. “No, John dug it up... to my surprise, the man is fairly competent at his secondary profession. But alas, we are stuck in a quagmire of politics at the moment, so as satisfying as killing him would be, I’m afraid we have no choice but to go through the administrative channels.” 

“Good luck with that,” Joker snorted, turning back to the console. “You know that as soon as she finds out what that asshole did, she’s going to shoot him, right? Like, there is not a doubt in my mind that you’re going to find bits of Alenko in a room somewhere, cause there are two things you don’t do with Jane, ever- one, you don’t touch her ice cream, and two, _you don’t fuck with her family_. I don’t care _how_ much evidence you have- those two might clean up nice, but they’re still street kids, Kryik.” He shook his head, then exhaled. “She’s not going to let this go quietly.”

“You misunderstand,” Nihlus replied. “I just said we had to take him back to stand trial… I never said anything about his condition when he did it. As long as he can still speak…” Nihlus shrugged casually, getting up from his chair and gently placing a hand on the brittle young man. “I don’t see the problem… do you?”

“You’re just as crazy as the Shep’s,” Joker said, shaking his head. “Look, I’m just saying… whatever you let that crazy woman do to my ship, you’re cleaning it up, Kryik.”

“It would be worth it,” he replied as he left the room. 

_ _

* * *

“That was _not_ covered in my training manual,” Garrus replied wryly, watching his mate as they descended in the tunnels. Her outward appearance was calm, but he knew the signs. The muscles in her neck were so tight he could make out almost every vein, and he could see her blood pressure was climbing by the minute. _We need to get this done,_ he thought as they took on more of the creatures coming at them. _She can’t take much more of this._

“I can’t believe what happened to that man,” Liara whispered, almost to herself. “Fai Dan was… a decent man… to choose to end his own life to stop that creature’s control…” The asari shivered, and Garrus knew she had to be remembering her mother’s fate. “Goddess…”

“Don’t dwell on it,” Wrex said gruffly. “He died so the Commander wouldn’t have to- honor his sacrifice like the warrior he was by beating this damned thing.” The krogan shifted some of the vines, then frowned. “These vines all lead somewhere,” he said, glancing around the cavern. “Seems like we might want to figure out where that is.” 

“They’re extending completely under the colony,” Liara remarked, tracing the path of one of the vines with her eyes. “And they’re not vines… they’re like… roots. Roots must be connected to a base,” she said, locking eyes with Jane. “And if the Thorian is that base…”

“So we just need to follow the roots,” Jane continued, picking up on the asari’s line of thought. “We’ve been seeing these for a while now… and they’re getting fatter. Roots toward the base of the tree are always the largest,” she mused, turning right and going deeper into the tunnels. “So if that’s the case, then…” 

“Then that’s the Thorian,” Garrus said quietly, pointing at the pulsating mass in the center of the room. “What do we do now?”

“Oh my god, it’s a gigantic alien vag,” Jane muttered, causing Liara to gasp and Wrex to chuckle. “I have fucking seen it all now... I’m done,” she said, turning on her heel and walking backward. “I quit- I did not sign up for this shit.” Garrus turned to place a hand on her shoulder, but suddenly a squelching sound came from behind them, just before something hit the floor with a wet ‘plop’. They both turned back, only to see a slimy-looking, green-skinned asari rising to her feet, completely clad in black armor. “Oh fuck… and it’s giving birth too?” 

“It’s a clone,” Liara hissed, biotic energy rolling up her arms. “But what of the original asari?” 

“Meat bags,” the asari intoned, turning toward them. “Untrustworthy creatures… I should have left you in the darkness when the other asked.”

“The other?” Jane stared at the asari, then her eyes widened. “Do you mean Saren? What did he want?”

“Knowledge,” the clone replied. “I have slept for years, undisturbed… then the protheans came. I studied them, learned from them, absorbed them… when they did not survive, I did… their knowledge lived on. The other came… seeking answers. It left this one with me in exchange.”

“Exchange for what?” Garrus asked, staring at the asari. “What did Saren want?” 

“An answer,” the asari growled. “An answer which I gave… only to be betrayed.” She stared at Jane with hatred burning in her eyes. “He knew you were coming… your pursuit meant my destruction- he sent his armies to destroy me.”  
  
“Look,” Jane said tentatively, holding up her hands, “I just want you to release the colonists- if you can do that and tell me what you told Saren-”

“The Old Growth has no desire to deal with those who scurry!” the asari roared. “You are nothing more than meat, good only to dig or decompose!”

Realizing what was about to happen, Jane hoisted her shotgun. “Liara, skeet!” Jane yelled, blasting the creature off into the ravine. “Holy fuck, we got incoming!”

To their right, more of the creatures they’d fought earlier began streaming into the room. Prepping his shotgun, Garrus began blasting them away, but Liara screamed and pointed into the next room. “Shepard! There is something over there!”  
  
“Got it!” Jane took off at a sprint and Liara began tossing any of the monsters on her tail. Before Garrus could follow her, he heard Jane yell, “take that, you motherfucker!” 

Instantly, there was the sound of gunfire and a loud roar, and Liara screamed with excitement. “You did it, Shepard! You hurt it!”  
  
“Good,” Jane replied, emerging from the room, looking disheveled but determined. “Keep an eye out for more of those blobs- us meat bags are taking this fucker down today.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane was shooting creature after creature as they dashed through the caverns- it felt like a neverending barrage of clones and monsters, but the group kept on pushing. _If I never see a plant again it will be too soon_ , she thought, slamming in another heatsink and launching it at the clone. _I have seen more than my fair share of them today._

“I don’t care what we have to do,” Garrus growled as they gassed a group of the creatures clustered around another of the pulsating orbs, “but we are getting rid of this spirits-damn thing!”

“Aren’t you glad we didn’t use all the grenades?” Wrex bellowed as Liara tossed away the charging asari clone. “Makes this whole thing here much more fun!” 

“Remind me to never listen to you if you ask me to do anything ‘fun’, Wrex!” Jane yelled as she blasted at the node, racing back as the thorian let out a thunderous scream as the ground beneath her feet began to shake. “What the hell is going on?”

“Jane!” Garrus yelped, watching in terror as the ground beneath her feet started to crumble. Time felt like it was standing still as he raced over to her, tackling her to the side just as a section of rock fell away. “Don’t _do_ that to me,” he hissed, pressing his head to hers as they watched the remains of the thorian fall away into the abyss below. “You have to be careful, Jane!” 

Watching breathlessly as the remains of the creature dropped away, Jane sighed and buried her face into his plates. “Why… I have you, remember?”

Garrus let out a chuckle, stroking her hair- the turian sounded as if he were trying to remember how to breathe. “You do… but let’s not tempt fate, ok?” 

“Got it,” Jane replied, getting shakily to her feet. 

As they gingerly stepped over the collapsing ground and made their way over to the others, they noticed Liara standing over another asari. _God, how many of these clones are there- can we get a break?_ “Liara,” he said warningly, “you think that’s wise?”

“I’m fine...this is no clone,” Liara said, moving away from the violet-skinned asari. “She is real... and alive.” 

“So do we toss her ass over too?” Wrex asked, looking warily at the woman on the ground. “Gotta admit, it’s a lot less fun when they don’t fight back.”

“No,” Jane said firmly, looking over at the woman on the ground. “We question her first.” She peered over at the crumpled up figure on the ground. “Who are you,” she asked, her hand resting just above her pistol. “Why are you in here?”

“My name is Shiala,” the asari said breathlessly, staggering to a seated position. “I served under your mother, Liara… and Saren assigned me here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... guess who's coming back to the Normandy now...


	48. Impromptu Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and the rest of the Dream Team return to the Normandy and get filled in on all the things that happened while they were out.

_ _

* * *

Jane stumbled onto the ship, feeling as if she’d lived five lives in the span of a few days. _I want a shower and a buffet_ , she thought. To her surprise, John wasn’t waiting to ambush her as soon as she stepped on board, but the eyes of every single crewmember were focused on them, which unnerved her to no end. Sufficiently creeped out, Jane turned to Liara, who looked just as uncomfortable as she felt. “What the hell,” she whispered, “do I have Thorian on my face or something?” 

Nervously, Pressly came up to her, looking away uncomfortably. “I’ve been given orders to have you wait in the comms room,” he said. “Spectre Kryik says it’s important that you go straight there as soon as you board.”

“Spectre Kryik can suck a fat one,” Jane shot back. “I’m covered in alien goo and I want to take a shower, so unless he magically gleaned some information, he can bite me- this is still my ship!”

“Janey,” Joker said from the overhead speakers, causing everyone to look up, “stop being a dick and go into the comms room… it’s important. Trust me, your shower can wait.” The pilot paused, then cleared his throat. “I’m telling everyone you’re back and soundproofing the room- they’ll meet you in there.” 

“That’s unusual,” Garrus muttered, glancing over at Jane as they made their way inside. “The colonists are taken care of- what could possibly be so important?” 

“Looks like we’re about to find out,” Wrex replied, looking over at the grim-looking faces as everyone filed into the room, except Jenkins and Alenko. When Sol walked in, a collective gasp went up, followed by dual sets of angry rumbling from Wrex and Garrus. “What the hell happened to the little turian?” Wrex thundered, storming over to John and grabbing him by his collar. “Did you do this?” 

Sol shook her head, letting out a miserable-sounding chirp as she placed a hand on Wrex’s arm. “Of course not,” she replied, holding the krogan until he warily released John. “Li,” she said miserably, glancing at the floor, “can you do me a favor?”

“Of course,” Liara said, moving over to her and hugging her, placing a hand over her mouth as she stared at the bruised young turian. “How can I help, Sol?” 

“I…” Sol stopped, then looked over to John, who just nodded and wrapped his arm around her. “I need you to look at my memories,” she mumbled, her voice barely audible. From behind Jane, she could hear Ash let out a sob, and Jane could’ve sworn she saw Nih give her hand a brief squeeze. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Sol said quietly. “But Janey and Johnny need to know what happened.” 

“Welp, we’re all going to die,” Joker’s voice said dryly from the intercom. “I wouldn’t do that, T’Soni.” 

Tali immediately hushed him, but Liara frowned. “If you do that… you’ll relive the memories too, Sol- is that really what you want?”  
  
She shook her head. “No… but it’s important.” The turian lifted her head, and though her face was swollen and bruised, her expression was defiant. “They need to know.” 

“I’m your brother,” Garrus shot back. “I need to know what happened, Sol- no offense, but don’t you think I deserve to know more than John?” 

“He’s my mate, Gar,” Sol replied, threading her hand in John’s- Garrus looked like he was about to have a stroke. “He has a right to know, and it’s Janey’s ship- she needs to know as well.” 

“Trust me,” John said darkly, “you don’t want to see it, Vakarian. I don’t want to see it… but I need to… just in case I have to testify.” 

“Testify?” Jane finally found her voice, realizing the enormity of this situation. “What the fuck happened, Sol? I’ll see the vision later, but I need the cliff notes version right now.”

“Alenko,” Nihlus replied, earning a hiss from Garrus and Wrex- instantly, Jane put a hand on her husband’s arm. “He assaulted Private Jenkins and tried to kill Miss Vakarian- however, it turns out she is a biotic, and was able to deploy her abilities to keep herself safe.”

Jane felt her blood boiling, and she clenched her fists at her side. “Look at her _face_ , Nih- does my sister fucking look _safe_ to you?” She turned to Sol, trying to force herself to calm down. “Is that why you’re wearing those cuffs?” 

“They’re bracelets,” Sol said meekly, rubbing her wrists anxiously. “Tali made them for me… Johnny didn’t want to lock me up.” 

“I understand,” she said, rushing over and wrapping the turian in a hug. “Oh, Sol, I’m _so_ sorry- I shouldn’t have left you here… I should’ve done-”

“Exactly what you did,” she said firmly, resting her head lightly against hers. “You’re my sister, Janey- I know you’d do anything to keep me safe. I don’t blame you at all… I blame _him_.” 

“Is that bastard still breathing?” Jane growled, whirling on the others. “And if so, _why?”_

John and Nihlus exchanged glances, then her brother sighed. “We can’t kill him, Janey.” 

“The hell I can’t!” She tried to storm out of the comms room, only to be frozen in place by her brother’s biotics. “Johnny,” she growled, “I’mma need you to unfreeze me right this instant because I’m not liking the implication that you’re protecting a would-be murderer.” Suddenly, her eyes went wide, and she gritted her teeth. “He poisoned Garrus, didn’t he?”  
  
“Janey,” John said warningly, “I need you to-”  
  
“If you tell me to calm down, I’m going to punch you in the dick,” Jane growled. “I have had the day from hell, and I have a fucking psychopath on my ship who has attacked my husband _and_ my sister. So, if you ever want to be able to pretend to have kids with your new wife, I suggest you _let...me...go!”_

“I can’t let you do that,” John said calmly. “You know me- do you _really_ think that motherfucker would be breathing right now if I didn’t have a damn good reason to keep him alive? Tiny and Gar are my _family_ ,” he said, walking over and placing his hands on her shoulders. “I want his head on a goddamn plate just as much as you do, Janey.” Jane seethed silently, but John just leaned his face closer, keeping his voice low. “If I release you, do you promise to sit down and listen to what I have to tell you instead of heading out to paint the walls red?” 

She fumed for a moment longer, but finally swallowed and nodded. “Yeah,” she muttered, the words feeling like acid on her tongue. “I can do that.” 

“Good,” John said, exhaling. “Now, we can-” 

He didn’t get the chance to finish. Before he could say another word, Jane had hauled off and punched John in the stomach, hard- the man crumpled to the floor. “ _That’s_ for freezing me!” Jane howled, leaping on him and punching him in the face. “And _that’s_ for keeping this shit from me! Stop acting like you fucking know everything, Johnny! You don’t know _shit_!” 

Before she could get off another punch, she felt strong arms hauling her off her feet and raising her in the air. “Do I have to cuff you?” Garrus asked, his voice low in her ear. “I don’t want to do it, but I can’t let you go insane in front of your crew, Jane.”

“Let her down,” John said, rubbing his jaw as he staggered to his feet. “I deserved that one.”

“You _deserve_ a fuckton more!” Jane shot back, struggling in Garrus’s grip. “And _that_ asshole deserves a bullet in his goddamn brain! Give me _one fucking reason_ why I shouldn’t shoot him and come back to stomp a fucking hole in you, Johnny!” 

“Because he’s Udina’s nephew,” John said calmly, causing Jane to freeze. “Udina blackmailed Uncle David… said he’d fuck over your candidacy if Anderson didn’t take the psychotic little shit with him on a high profile mission” He glared at Jane, but just like when they were kids, he didn’t swing back- judging by the look in his eyes, he was about to attack with his words. “ _That’s_ why no one tells your feral ass anything, Jane- you don’t fucking _think_! So if you feel like destroying all of us, _be my fucking guest!_ ” 

John stormed closer, but Garrus leaned forward, growling at the man. “Back off, Shepard.” 

_“Fuck you!”_ John screamed, pointing furiously at Jane. “ _She_ gets to hit _me_ , but when _I_ tell this bitchy ass woman about herself, you wanna go attack turian on me? Well, _fuck that shit!_ The _great Commander Shepard_ is gonna fucking _learn_ today!” 

At that point, even Jane took a step back- John never got this furious, and never with her. “John,” she said cautiously, “you’re right- I’m sorry-”  
  
 _“No!”_ John shouted, the veins in his neck standing out against his reddening skin. “That motherfucker tried to kill my wife too, or did you fucking forget that? Hell, I want to put his head through the goddamn wall, but I’m _not_ , and do you know why? Because I think about someone other than myself, Jane! You _never_ think- it’s always ‘I’ll do what I want and fix it later because I’m a _motherfucking genius!_ ’” 

Sol walked over and placed a hand on John’s arm- for a second he tensed, but instantly relaxed a little. “That shit may work sometimes, Jane, but we’re not kids anymore! Look around! You’re the commanding officer on a fucking _ship_ , Jane! Think about shit before you act for once! You have a _husband_ ,” he hissed, pointing at Garrus, “and I have a _wife_! How about you think about them, huh? I did _not_ work this hard to get my life to a point where I’m finally fucking happy only to have you fuck it up because you can’t think past three, Jane!” 

Jane just stared at her brother, unable to process or fathom how to respond. “I-” 

“ _Don’t_ ,” he warned, shaking his head and waving a hand at her. “Not now- you might have had the day from hell, but _so have I_ ,” he said shakily, his body vibrating with rage. “Talk to me when we touch down at the Citadel- unlike _you_ , I have to figure out a way to keep my wife from being carted off like a goddamn criminal by her dad… on _top_ of the shit going on out here!” 

And with that, John turned on his heel and walked away, leaving everyone in the room standing there in stunned silence.

_ _

* * *

As Sol ran out of the room behind John, Nihlus was leaning against the wall, staring at the open-mouthed Jane. “That’s enough,” he said firmly, then looked at Ash. “I need everyone out of this room so I can talk to Jane.” 

Ash nodded, then gestured to Tali and Liara, who quickly followed. However, Wrex and Garrus just stood there, staring at him. “I’m not leaving my mate,” Garrus growled, his sub-vocals rumbling with nerves and irritation. “You can deal with it or come up with something else.”

Nihlus sighed. “Wrex, I need you to stand guard over Alenko… do _not_ kill him- as John has already established, we need him alive.” Then he thought about it for a minute and sighed. “Just… don’t go in there,” he said, pressing his hand to his temple. “Just stand guard outside the door until I return, please.”

The krogan frowned. “That sack of varren shit hurt Sol,” he growled, leaning over Nihlus. “We all knew he was fucking crazy, but we didn’t _do_ anything about it! He needs his head smashed into the wall!” 

“Funny, I don’t recall you being this upset when he poisoned me,” Garrus replied wryly, looking over at Wrex. “I’m starting to think you like my sister more than me.” 

“I do,” Wrex replied, earning a snort from Jane. He stared at Nihlus for a moment, but the spectre calmly stared back at him- he had no intentions of backing down. “Fine, turian. But if he says one thing, I’m breaking something.”

Nihlus shrugged. “Fair enough.”

The krogan stormed off, leaving the three of them alone in the comms room. “Look,” Jane said quietly, “I already know… I was out of line.”

Nihlus nodded. “You were.” Then he stared at Garrus, his sub-vocals warning him to be quiet. “You’re the commander, Jane- that kind of behavior is unacceptable.” She started to say something, but he cut her off. “Though no one likes this outcome, John was right in his handling of the situation- Udina is a right bastard, and he has sway with the council. Handling this situation improperly would only result in a backlash none of us need- anything that takes away from us finding Saren is, unfortunately, not a priority.”  
  
“He tried to kill me _and_ my sister, Kryik,” Garrus muttered, his gaze piercing and angry. “I think that counts as a priority… along with retribution.”

“The commander is the only one who can issue disciplinary action,” Nihlus replied firmly. “But she _cannot_ kill him,” he said pointedly, staring at Jane. “However, John mentioned something about handing him off to a Justicar?” 

Jane rolled her eyes. “He must mean Nana…” When Nihlus just looked at her, she groaned. “Natearus T’Loak… she’s an old ass asari and mean as fuck… but she’s John’s mentor- makes sense she’d want this asshole.”

“T’Loak…” Nihlus said thoughtfully, then his eyes widened. “Is she any relation to Aria T’Loak?” 

Jane shrugged. “Never asked, never cared. But she’s always had a soft spot for John… he must’ve called her to look at Sol- if that’s the case, she’d be her ward, so I can see where she’d want to get her hands on the plank.” Then her face hardened. “I hope she scrambles his fucking _brain_ … I want that bastard to be a drooling _mess_ for the rest of his goddamn life.” 

“Ah…” _This family is more connected than I realized_ , Nihlus thought with interest. “At any rate, I’ve had Joker set a course for the Citadel- we need to get this stain off of the ship as soon as possible.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Jane’s eyes went wide and she shot up from her chair. “Oh _shit!_ We gotta tell John!”

Garrus stared at her curiously for a moment, then he must’ve realized what his mate was talking about. “I’ll go with you,” he said, his voice hard. “I’m not leaving you two alone together after that.” 

“Fuck that!” Jane said, racing out the room. “This is much more important!” 

_ _

* * *

John was in his room, laying on his bed and trying not to start fuming. _In and out_ , he told himself, closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing- he could feel the energy cresting and receding with each breath, and he was trying his best to stay calm. _I never let Janey get me that worked up,_ he thought, trying to get the image of his sister’s face out of his mind. _Why the hell did I get so upset back there?_

As he tried to settle down, he heard a tentative knock at the door. _Only one person who knocks like that,_ he thought with a smile, remembering the nights at his apartment when Sol would be too shy to do anything without seeking him out first. “C’mon in, Tiny.” 

The door opened, and the nervous-looking turian stood in the hall, staring at him with concern. “I was worried… I thought you’d come back to my room.”

“Not my room,” he replied, moving over to make room for her on the bed. “I had to get away and clear my head… didn’t want to take anything out on you.” 

“It… could be,” Sol said quietly, her eyes roaming over his face and her hand resting on his leg. “That is... if you’re going to stay… I mean, I hope you’re going to- I don’t want you to leave, Johnny.”

He stared at her, trying to piece together just what the hell she was talking about. “Why would I leave?” 

“Because,” she said, letting out a sad-sounding chirp. “You and Janey… the way you guys were fighting… it seemed like you weren’t going to stay.” 

“Oh, _that_.” John chuckled and shook his head, leaning over to kiss the nervous-looking turian. “You got a lot to learn about twins, Tiny- I could be ready to put her head through the floor, but I’ll be _damned_ if I let anyone else hurt her… including that crazy bastard Saren.” She cocked her head at him, but he just smiled, resting his head against hers. “We fight… it happens- doesn’t mean I love her any less. I’m just stressed… and looks like she is, too.” 

“Anything I can do?” Sol asked, her hands gripping his waist. “I’m your mate, Johnny- I’m here to help you, too.” 

He pretended to think about it, returning the gesture and noticing her eyes flutter. _Wait, did I just…_ “I’d like to make sure you’re not going to get hauled off by your leg spurs first- then I think we can play everything else by ear.” Blowing out a deep breath, he closed his eyes. “How do we go about this marking thing, Sol?” 

Instantly, she let out a squeak and jerked up, her hands flying off his body. “I wasn’t- I didn’t- not here!” 

John opened his eyes, staring at her as if she’d lost her mind. “Is this another one of these interspecies awkward things? Cause right now, I’m reasonably sure I have no idea what the fuck is going on, Tiny.” 

Even through all the bruising, he could see her neck turning bluer by the minute. “Wait a second,” he said, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing, “you think I just came on to you, don’t you?” She narrowed her eyes at him, but this only made him splutter with laughter. “Oh, shit, you _did!_ You just put the moves on me!” 

“I did _not_!” Sol squawked, trying to shift away from him. “You… you are _horrible_! I was just-”

“No, no, I love it! My wife was just trying to seduce me!” John laughed so hard he could feel tears streaming from his eyes despite the death glare coming from the woman across from him. “C’mon Tiny, admit it!” 

“I was just trying to _comfort_ you!” Sol exclaimed, her voice high and reedy as she shoved him. “Shows what I know!”

“Why are you so upset, Tiny? I mean, we are married,” John teased, leaning over to her and laughing even harder as Sol shoved him backward. “I’m glad to know my wife finds me somewhat attractive, at least.” 

“I’m regretting my choices,” Sol grumbled, her neck so blue that John wondered if it would be warm to his touch. “I’m leaving now, John.” 

“Don’t do that,” he said as he reached over and took her hand, pulling her close to him. “I don’t recall me actually complaining about the idea, do you?” 

Sol looked like she wanted to crawl into the nearest air vent. “I don’t know how to do this,” she admitted, staring at her hands. “I just… I just want you, John- I hate seeing you upset, and I hate feeling like I’m the cause of it. I know that turians usually have sex to relieve stress, so I just thought-” 

His stomach rolled at the thought, and he sighed, pressing his head to hers. “Tiny, that’s very kind of you to offer, but I don’t think that’s how we need to operate, ok?”

She looked over at him, her sub-vocals thrumming sadly. “Do...you not want to have sex with me?” 

“Um, not to be crass, but I certainly hope I’d get to do it at some point,” John said teasingly. “But I really do not want the first time I get to enjoy that with you to be where Joker can start filming us to send to Fornax… and you know he would.” She laughed, and he moved over, sliding his hand down her side. “But...if I wanted to seduce you,” he murmured, placing kisses along her neck, “would it go something like this?” 

“Lower,” she replied, her voice vibrating in a way he’d never heard from her before. “Turians...we appreciate the waist… it’s-” He ran his hand across the back of her neck and she purred, making him smile. “And there too.” 

“Good to know,” John replied, gently squeezing her waist and noting the rumble that was growing louder by the minute. “And this?” 

“Yes," she murmured, threading her hands in his hair. Smiling, he pressed his head to hers, feeling her hands creep back to his waist. “That…” 

“Oh my fucking _god_ , I don’t want to see this!” Jane croaked, causing the two of them to jump apart. “Can you two _not!_ ”

Mortified, the two of them leaped apart and turned to the doorway, only to find an open-mouthed Jane and Garrus standing there and watching them. “Um… I think you’re in _my_ room, Jane,” John mumbled, trying to ignore the hard-on that he was desperately trying to wish away. “You’re forgiven, so please leave... _now_.”

Garrus looked like he was trying to remember how to breathe. “Uh… I… we…” His mandibles were twitching so fast that it looked like butterflies were flapping around on his face. “Sol… _him? Really? Now?_ ” 

Sol glowered at her brother, then crossed her arms. “I believe you two wanted something?” 

Jane blushed, then tried to turn away. “Um yeah… it’s kind of important.” She waved a hand at John, the other covering her eyes. “Can you get little Johnny to settle down so we can talk to you? It’s kinda distracting.” 

“Wouldn’t be if you learned how to _knock_ ,” John grumbled, tossing a pillow in his lap and sitting on the edge of the bed, fuming the entire time. Sol sat next to him, wrapping her arm over his shoulders and trying to look anywhere except her brother’s face. “What’s so fucking important, Janey?” 

“It’s you,” she answered, settling into the seat across from him and folding her hands. “With all the commotion I'd forgotten to talk to you, but since we're going back to the Citadel… you two need to know what’s going on.” 

John paused, trying to see what his sister was getting at, but neither of them made a move to continue- he sighed. “Out with it- what’s so big that it’s got the both of you tongue-tied?”

“It’s Dad,” Garrus said finally, looking at the floor. “He’s been looking for you, Sol.” 

Sol just stared at him. “So? I’m not a kid, Gar- I’m free to do what I want, with who I want- Dad can’t control that.” She reached for John’s hand, making his heart warm. _She’s serious_ , he thought, letting a goofy smile spread across his face as he looked at the woman next to him. _She wants me._

“Maybe not, but he _can_ file a missing person’s report,” Garrus said wearily, then turned to look at John. “And he’s named your mate as the prime suspect.” 

_ _

* * *

Sol just stared at the two of them, their words stunning her into silence. _They can't be serious,_ she thought, then feeling her stomach sink as she watched her brother's grim face. “Is there anything we can do?” Sol asked, turning to her sister. “Johnny didn’t do anything wrong- I’m the one who left, so why would they blame him?” 

“Because Dad,” Garrus said simply, making Sol whine dejectedly. “He’s been looking for you since you left- you’re his favorite, Sol. Add in the fact that he doesn’t like John or Jane, and you have a recipe for disaster.” He looked over at John, then shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going to set him off worse- when he finds out you’re a biotic or if he finds out you’re thinking about mating with John.” 

“There is no thinking, Gar,” Sol pointed out, irritated that her brother wasn’t getting the point- she reached for John’s hand and breathed a sigh of relief when he took it. _He’s never left me alone_ , she thought, smiling over at him. _He’s always there for me_. “John and I are mates.” 

Garrus let out an undignified squawk, then started coughing- Jane had to whack him on the back. Shaking her head, her sister sighed and rolled her eyes. “First of all, congratulations,” she said pointedly, glaring at her mate. “Second of all, when did this happen? I know you both were dancing around it, but when did this happen?” 

“You know me,” John replied flippantly, draping an arm over Sol’s shoulder and placing a kiss on her cheek, “If nothing else, I am the master of timing- asked her this morning… just before everything started trying to eat us. Been a banner day over here... “

Jane winced, then looked over at Sol. “Geez, Sol,” she said quietly. “This isn’t how I wanted this to go for you… I should’ve been here to protect you.” 

“Honestly,” Sol mumbled, staring at her hands, “I think it might’ve been worse if you were.”

At that, Jane’s features went completely flat and she leaned forward, her posture rigid. “Explain, Sol.” 

She sighed, then looked over at John- she hadn’t fully told him the details, and she was hoping she wouldn’t have to. “He’s crazy, Janey.” 

Garrus snorted. “That’s nothing new, Sol.” 

Sol exhaled, not wanting to say this in front of her brother. “No, he’s… _obsessed_ with Janey,” she whispered, running her fingers over the pieces of metal on her wrist. “He wanted to kill me… so he could get you off the ship, Gar. He attacked Jenkins to make it look like he’d gone crazy from the anomaly out there, then he… “ she swallowed, taking a moment to calm herself down. “Then he decided that he was going to try to make it look like he saved me… and he’d let me live if I left and took Gar with me.”

“That’s fucking stupid,” John snapped, tightening his grip on her hand. “There’s no way I’d just be like, ‘oh, cool, my wife’s leaving, no big deal’- what sense does that make?” 

“You’re applying logic to crazy,” Jane said irritably, rubbing her temples. “Continue, Sol- I’m sure that’s not the end of it.”

“It’s not- he… he threatened to kill Johnny if I didn’t leave,” Sol said, her voice stuttering as she had to try to fight the keen rising through her body. The heat she felt earlier surged through her again, but it immediately petered out as the metal cuffs sent a buzzing sensation up her wrists. _So that’s what they do,_ Sol mused, looking down at her hands. “And when I protested, that’s when… he decided to kill me.” 

“Hmm,” Jane said, getting to her feet, her face bright red and her lips pressed together so hard they were turning white. “Thank you for that, Sol- you two should get some sleep. I’m… I’m gonna run my bio-trace program on you two- that should buy us some time to get you two off the Normandy.”

“Nana is coming to meet us,” John replied. “She might be able to help us out- might already be on her way, knowing how sneaky she is.”  
  
Jane nodded curtly. “Nih mentioned that she might be involved.” She stared at her brother for a moment, then let out a deep breath, smoothing her hair back. “Look, I’m done fucking around out here- I need you to do whatever you have to do, cause I’m not letting anything else happen to Sol while I’m around.” John started to protest, but Jane put up a hand. “That asari doesn’t do anything without a reason, Johnny- I know she has a plan, and I don’t want to know about it yet- I have my own shit to handle right now.”

Garrus sighed, reaching for Jane and raising his brow plates in surprise when she sidestepped him. “Are you ok?”

“No,” she replied, her voice shaking for a minute before she composed herself and took Gar’s hand. “But I will be once I handle this.” Then she turned to Sol, her expression apologetic. “You two should go back to your room, Sol- I really don’t want you sleeping alone tonight if I can help it.”

“I didn’t plan on leaving her alone,” John said quietly. Sol felt his hand lightly rubbing her back and she closed her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder. “She’s got a point, Tiny,” he said, running his hand over her cheek. “You head back to the room and I’ll bring you something to eat.” Sol immediately noticed what he said and cocked her head at him, but John simply smiled and tapped her on her nose. “Go,” he whispered, giving her a quick kiss before getting to his feet. “I’ll be in there before you know it, Tiny.”

_ _

* * *

“And I’ve already told you,” Nihlus said irritably, “you are not in the frame of mind to go question the prisoner, Jane- you’ve already proven that!” 

“And I’ve told _you_ ,” she retorted, her hands on her hips as she drew herself up to her full height, “this is my ship, and for now, I’m asking you… step aside. Nih,” she said warningly, “I love you dearly, but if I have to tell you to get out of my way, I can promise that you won’t like the way I do it.” 

He started to dismiss her, but the glint in her grey eyes made him certain that discounting anything that she said would be a mistake. Nihlus had seen that look many a time- hell, he’d worn it himself more than any other expression. Signaling to the crewman to come over and guard the door, he put an arm around Jane’s shoulder. “Walk with me,” he said, ignoring the murderous look on her face. “Walk with me and we will talk about what you want.”

She stiffened for a moment, then relaxed a little as they walked down the hall. “Nih, you know-”

“Where is your mate,” Nihlus asked, cutting her off. “Why isn’t he here with you?” 

“I asked him to file the reports on Feros,” Jane admitted. “I wasn’t… I wasn’t in the place to be objective,” she said, running her hand over her damp hair. “He offered to write them for me.” 

“Tell me about what happened,” Nihlus said calmly as they entered the mess hall. “Walk me through it.”

“ExoGeni found the Thorian and was using the colonists in an experiment,” she said flatly, sitting down in a chair. “I convinced them to spare the colony and I killed that thing, but…” She sighed, putting her head on the table. “Saren had been there, Nih- he used that creature so he could try and understand that stupid message from the beacon and sent the geth to wipe it out so I couldn’t pick up his trail. We saved his minion and I tried to understand the message, but I still don’t get it- Liara even did her freaky mindfuck on me… no dice.”  
  
“But,” Nihlus said as he grabbed water and a levo nutrient bar, sitting them in front of Jane, “we know what he was doing. We know Saren thinks you’re on the right track.” He tapped his talon on the table next to her, causing the woman to look up. “Eat.” 

“I don’t want to eat,” she said sullenly, scowling up at him. “I want to go kick that psychotic bastard’s teeth in, that’s what I want.”

“I never said you couldn’t,” Nihlus replied, gesturing to the food in front of her and ignoring her dumbfounded look. “Eat.” 

Wordlessly, Jane took a bite of the bar, staring at him warily- she looked like she was expecting him to slap cuffs on her at any moment. “I don’t get it… when I asked you to go in there, you wouldn’t let me- what’s your deal, Kryik?” 

“You’re agitated,” he said simply, staring at her and gesturing for her to continue eating. “You’re angry and your emotions are running high- in that kind of state, you’ll kill him… which is _exactly_ what your brother was smart enough to avoid.”

“So,” Jane replied as she swallowed the last of the food, “if I can keep it together, you’ll let me beat his ass?”

“Crudely put, but yes,” Nihlus replied, looking her over. Jane’s face looked less flush, and her eyes were more focused- she was definitely angry, but she was listening now. “Now,” he said, sitting across from her and settling in his seat. “You’re not going in there without a plan, Jane.”  
  
“I have a plan,” she grumbled, glaring at him while she drank her water. “Go inside, bash his brains in, and get out.” 

“Oh, Jane, that’s _too_ easy,” Nihlus purred, watching as Jane’s eyes lit up with interest. “I think the two of us can come up with something _much_ better than that… don’t you?” 


	49. Retribution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Jane have two very different ideas regarding stress relief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Sol and John NSFW content isn’t your thing, feel free to skip to Jane. However, if you don’t have a stomach for violence, you might want to wait til tomorrow’s post. 
> 
> TW: violence, knives, blood...I mean, this is Jane- John kept her in the dark about things for a reason.

_ _

* * *

“So, this is my place of residence now, huh?” John asked as he looked around the room, trying to stop his head from spinning. _I’m wanted for kidnapping, and my father-in-law is going to try and cart my wife off to god knows where,_ he thought, shaking his head in disbelief. _What a goddamn day._

Sol chuckled, settling on the bed and making space for him. “It is… well, if you want it to be, that is.” 

John smiled, sitting down on the bed and resting his head on hers. “I want to be where you are,” he said, running his hand along the back of her neck. When she closed her eyes and let out a tiny purr, John had to bite his lip. “Tiny, be honest,” he said, trying not to laugh. “How long have you wanted to get in my pants?”

Instantly, Sol’s eyes snapped open. “What?”

John just wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands lightly above her hips. “You didn’t mate with me just so you could get me into bed, did you?” When she stared at him, her expression mortified, John put on his best serious face. “I’ll have you know I’m worth more than a one night stand, Tiny.” 

The sides of her neck began to darken, and John leaned over to press his lips against the softer skin there- Sol shuddered. “John,” she said, inhaling sharply as he increased the pressure on her waist, “I would never-”

“I know,” he murmured, leaving soft kisses along her skin, marveling at the change from the soft, leathery skin to the hard, smooth plates of her face. “You’re complex,” he mused, moving his hands along her sides. “Even with a lifetime, I don’t know if I’ll ever figure you out.” 

“Why do you want to?” Sol blurted out, letting out a sad chirp. “I’m not smooth and soft- why would you want to be with me?” 

“Tiny,” John said with a laugh, “I’m not smooth and soft, either.” She looked at him curiously, and her eyes widened as he took off his shirt. “Oh come on, you’ve seen me naked,” he chided, taking her hand in his. “You can’t tell me you didn’t cop a feel.” 

“I couldn’t!” Sol insisted, trying her best not to stare at him as he took off her gloves. “You weren’t well… it wouldn’t have been right!”

“And I know you’ve stolen a peek before,” he replied, moving her hand across his chest and letting her nails brush lightly against his skin. “I distinctly remember a certain turian trying very hard to read an upside-down datapad when I got out of the shower one day.” He leaned over and rested his head against hers, letting her soothing rumble roll over him. “Just tell me what you want, Tiny- fuck everyone else. We’ll take this at your pace.” 

“Why are you being so nice,” Sol asked, staring at him with wide eyes. “Other turians… they thought I was strange when I didn’t want to have sex with them… said I was weird, that something was wrong with me… and you’re an attractive male,” she said quietly, her sub-vocals starting to stutter. “ Why do you want me?”

“Ok, time to have the awkward conversations,” he said, trying to stop the flush creeping up his face. “I want _you_ , Solana Vakarian- everything else can sort itself out later. Trust me, if I was just looking for sex, there are a ton of other ways to get it that wouldn’t involve a family of angry turian males trying to disembowel my ass at every turn.” She gaped at him, and he smiled, taking his hand in hers. “I want to spend the rest of my life with my best friend,” John replied. “I figured when you were ready to take it farther, you’d tell me. Like I said,” he teased, bumping his head against hers, “I saw you checking me out… when I realized I wasn’t completely repulsive to you, I figured I had a shot.” 

“You are far from repulsive, and you know it, John Shepard,” Sol replied, nuzzling her face in his neck. “You are sweet, kind, and wonderful,” she said, running her tongue along his neck. The sensation made his pulse start to race, and he realized he was starting to grow hard again. _Times like this make me sad that I’m not sharing a room with the man who likes to sleep in the cockpit,_ he thought, wondering how he would take care of this without having another interesting conversation. “I’m not used to talking about things,” John admitted, closing his eyes as her talons lightly traced down his spine. “I’ve never been good at it, Tiny.” 

“I can smell you, John,” Sol admitted, getting to her feet and standing in front of him. “You’re aroused.” 

“Geez, way to put that out there,” John grumbled, feeling his face flush. “You make it sound so romantic.” 

“I’m stating a fact,” she replied, then he noticed the sides of her neck darkening again. “I… did notice you don’t have plates,” she said, gesturing to his pants. “Are...do you want this, John?” 

John rolled his eyes, then gestured to his tented pants. “ _Obviously_ ,” he retorted, making Sol giggle at his irritation. “Tiny, you’re a goddamn torture session,” he said, getting to his feet. “There have been many a time I’ve had to slip away and handle… _this…_ because you have no idea what you’re doing to me… or you do, and you just get a kick out of making me look like a teenager- take your pick.”  
  
“That’s your fault,” she said shyly, walking closer to him. “Turian males usually initiate things… once we tell them we’re interested.” She leaned over, then darted her tongue out over his ear. “I’ve been trying to tell you that for a while, John.” 

“Words, Tiny! Use your goddamn words!” John shot back, grumbling as his face went even redder. “Am I just supposed to say, ‘hey, you’ve never expressed an interest in this at all, but I’ve got a stiffy and I’m ready to go, whatcha think?’ Geez, I’m an asshole, but I’m not that fucking insensitive!”

Sol just giggled, then stood up. “I’m telling you now,” she purred. “It has been the most stressful day of my life, and I would like to relieve that stress… with my mate.” 

“Not how I thought this would go, but I’m not going to complain,” John remarked, sitting back on the bed and staring at the woman in front of him. “You’ve got me at a disadvantage, Tiny… I’ve never seen you without a crapton of fabric and buckles.” He leaned forward, his eyes roaming over her skin. “Care to even the score?” 

She smiled, then gestured for him to get to his feet. “Why don’t you come over and learn?”  
  
John shook his head, then gestured to her shirt. “Nope… embarrassment tax,” he said, folding his arms behind his head and smirking. “I think… I’d like my wife to undress for me.”

“And I-” Sol took his hands and pulled him to his feet, “would like my mate to help me.”

“Fuck,” he murmured, pressing his head to hers, “you know I am pretty much incapable of telling you no, right?” 

“I’m aware,” she replied, running her talon up and down his arm. “I’ve learned to use that to my advantage, too.” 

“Evil,” John retorted, sticking his tongue out at her. Sol started laughing lightly as she guided his hands over her shirt, letting him fumble with the buckles. “This is worse than a bra, Tiny- can I get a little help here?” 

“Don’t think you’re getting off that easy,” Sol warned, her fingers flying over the buckles and sending the fabric drifting to the floor. “We’re going to have to practice this, Johnny.”

He quirked his eyebrow at her, feeling like he’d finally gotten a little of his own back. “Is that a promise?” When she just smiled, he guided her hands to her waist, waiting on her to stop him. “Feel like showing me how to do this without attacking your spurs?” 

She nodded, undoing her pants and letting them fall to the floor, then standing before him. “That’s it,” she said shyly, a nervous rumble escaping her throat. “I… hope I’m not too weird for you…” 

He stood back, looking her over and running his hand over her plates. She was that same fauny shade of brown all over, and the same blue markings that covered her face danced around her skin all the way down to her legs. “You’re amazing,” he said, walking around her and running his hand over her sides. “You’re powerful and strong,” he mused, looking up at her- it always amused him that she was a full head taller than him. “I don’t know why you want a squishy little human like me, Tiny.” 

“Because I love you,” she replied, her blue eyes serious as she moved to sit on the bed. “What you looked like never mattered to me… because you always made me feel beautiful and loved,” she mumbled, lowering her head. “No one’s made me feel like that before.” 

“Then they’re stupid,” John said firmly, taking a deep breath and taking off his pants. “I feel lucky that you want me.” She scooted back in the bed and he climbed in, settling himself between her legs. Resting his head against hers, John trailed his hand down her stomach and moved it between her legs, feeling very surprised at the lack of an opening. “Um… I also feel very confused right now, as I was sort of expecting… _something_ to be there. What am I missing, Tiny?” 

She laughed, then lightly nipped his neck- when her teeth connected with his skin, he let out an involuntary gasp. “Oh no," she squeaked, her eyes roaming over his face, "did I hurt you?”  
  
He shook his head. “Surprised me, that’s all.” Then he ran a hand through his hair, bringing it to rest on his neck. “Besides, you’re going to do a lot worse than that, aren’t you?”

Sol sighed. “You’re scared of me marking you, aren’t you?” 

“A little,” he admitted. “A bit more concerned about the anatomy differences at the moment, though.”

She stared at him for a moment, then her eyes widened. “Oh! You mean my plates!” Smiling, she rolled on her back, bending her knees. “Come here,” she said, gesturing to him. “You need to open them.” 

“Great,” John mumbled to himself, “my wife is an easter egg- good to know.” She stared at him curiously, and he traced a finger along her plates- sure enough, there was a thin seam there. “Just my luck I have to crack you open to get to the fun stuff inside.” She gawked at him, smacking him in the arm- John winced, then laughed. “I deserve that one,” he replied, laughing. “But seriously… how do I open you up?” 

Sol shrugged, a teasing glint in her eye. “I don’t know,” she said casually, “you were doing just fine earlier…”  
  
John paused, then ran his hand along her now-exposed waist- instantly, Sol shivered. “Oh, this does it for you, huh?” Happy to be lighter than her for once, he lay on top of her, resting his head on hers and running his hands along her side, pressing in and massaging lightly with his thumbs. When he felt her talons start to dig into his side, he chuckled, grabbing one of her hands and moving it to his ass. “If you’re going to do that, there’s extra padding here- however, if I can’t sit for a few days, I’m blaming you.”  
  
Her eyes went wide, then fluttered as he pressed into her side again. “I… I didn’t mean to hurt you…” Sol’s voice was shaky, and John felt a sense of pride- _I may not have a clue what the fuck I’m doing yet, but at least she’s having fun._ “I can-”

“You can sit back and enjoy yourself,” he replied, moving a hand up to the back of her neck as he kissed her. “I’m not fucking this up for you, am I?”  
  
“Spirits, no!” Sol exclaimed, digging her nails into his hips as he traced his fingers up the back of her neck, lightly nipping the side of her neck as she’d done to him. “Johnny, I want-” 

Her voice caught in her throat as he massaged the back of her head with his fingers, enjoying the feeling of her vibrating beneath him. “This is for you, Sol… whatever you want, that’s what I’m doing. All you have to do is tell me.” 

_ _

* * *

Despite what everyone thought about her, Sol had never really been one for physical affection. 

Even in the service, when recruits were sneaking off right and left to blow off steam in any available place, Sol was never interested. She’d once tried to take a lover just to get the whole ordeal over and done with, but her body knew what her mind didn’t- her plates had stubbornly refused to move, leading to one frustrated serviceman and a monumentally relieved Sol. After that, the whisperings began of her being either frigid or mated, which suited her just fine- she’d preferred reading and watching vids during her downtime anyway. 

Sol had asked her friend about it once, and the description that the woman had given her made her cringe- two turians with their plates crashing against each other, their teeth gnashing at each other's skin? She’d done her best not to shudder and change the subject, wondering how in the world anyone could be enthusiastic about something like that.

However, even though she wasn’t into sex, that wasn’t to say that she didn’t love romance- Sol was perfectly content to spend her nights watching movies, living vicariously through the love stories on the screen. _I want a love like that,_ she thought as she watched the quarian fight through all odds to be together to be with the turian they loved. _That’s what I’m waiting for._

And now, wrapped in the arms of the best friend she’d ever known, the turian was purring so loud she could barely speak, feeling pleasure rolling through her body as her plates began to spread, making her long for something she’d never thought she’d ever experience. “Plates,” she stammered, trying not to lose control. “Plates are…” 

“Oh no," John replied, looking extremely smug at this point as he kissed her. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for you, thought about you, dreamed about you? Sorry, but no instant gratification dice- it's your turn for the torture session, Tiny.”

Sol let out a trill that was a mix of frustration and excitement as John moved lower on the bed, running one hand down her side as he traced the other's exposed skin with his tongue. She bucked up against him and he smiled, nipping her waist. His flat teeth weren’t designed to do much damage, but the sensation sent shivers through her body anyway. “John,” she breathed, gasping as he traced his fingers over her slit, the sensation of his rough fingers sending them further and further apart, “please-” 

Smiling up at her, John lowered his head, running his tongue across the seam and making her forget herself, her sub-vocals telling any turian within earshot precisely what was going on. _Do turian men do this?_ Just then, John pressed a hand to her waist, his grey eyes staring up at her as he gently worked his fingers inside her, coaxing her open even further. _They definitely do not,_ Sol thought, her chest rising and falling rapidly as he explored inside her, his fingers running over every section and sending her nerves into overdrive. Suddenly, she felt a small jolt and she went flat against the bed, feeling as if he’d just knocked all the wind out of her. “What… what did you just do?” 

The cocky bastard smirked, raising his head to rest it against hers. “Benefits of biotics, Sol… it can be useful… when you learn how to control it.” He leaned over, then dragged his tongue over her ear pore, making her shiver. “I’ve heard it’s pretty good… does it work on a turian?” A pang of jealousy shot through her, and she couldn’t fight the rumble that escaped her body. _I bet he’s done this with others,_ she thought, her grip on his waist getting tighter. _He’s had so many other lovers… he’s not going to want me._

As usual, it was as if he could read her mind- he took one of his hands and stroked the side of her face. “I don’t want anyone else, Sol,” he said, his voice deep with arousal. “It’s you and me, ok?” 

She nodded, closing her eyes and trying to keep her thoughts together as the gentle pulses ran through her, making her walls constrict around his fingers. “Johnny, I’m going to warn you,” she said, struggling to form words, “while we’re doing this, I might mark you- since you’re human, it’s probably going to hurt, and I’m sorry… it’s just something that can happen with mates, and I-”

He put a finger to her lip plates, laughing when she darted her tongue out and licked his finger. “Hey, if it happens, that saves us a step later, right?” John positioned himself between her legs, looking down at her as she nuzzled her face in his hand. “Ready? Just tell me if I’m doing something wrong- I don’t think I can hurt you, but I’d rather not be the one to talk to Chakwas about this, ok?” 

She nodded, and he started to enter her, sending her body into spasms as the pressure mounted between her legs. Finally, he was inside her, and Sol instantly understood that drive the others had spent their days chasing- here, with him, she felt a pleasure she’d never known. Every time he moved, it was as if the pressure was building inside her ears and the sensations were driving her mad- she couldn’t decide if she wanted him to stop or go faster. Eventually, the ability to string together words started to fail, leaving Sol with nothing but small mewls as John worked himself in and out of her.

As he moved faster, giving her a little bit more each time, Sol could hear the keen start to rise in her throat. “Tiny,” he whispered, pausing to kiss her ear, “please, do _not_ start screaming- I do not want your brother rushing in here and catching us in the act.” He rolled his hips a little, making her eyes roll back in her head. “Now, when we get home you can scream all you like- I’ll consider it a compliment.” 

_Spirits, this man._ Sol’s eyes snapped to him and John smirked, kissing her lips to stop her from chastising him. Tentatively, he moved a little deeper, and when she didn’t stop him, he raised himself up, anchoring his weight as he held her waist. As he plunged into her, the coarseness of his hair rubbing against her seam was driving her mad- it was sending her over the edge, making her see spots as he moaned, clearly enjoying being sheathed inside her. _This is mine_ , she rumbled, the vibrations rolling through her body with each stroke. _This is my mate... and I’m not letting him go._

_ _

* * *

When Sol let out a chirp and started vibrating against him, the sensation made his body stutter. _Is it always like this? Goddamn, please let it always be like this,_ he thought, desperate to stop his impending orgasm. “Tiny,” he moaned, squeezing her waist tighter as he rolled his hips into her, trying to “you gotta stop doing that… I’m gonna-” 

Before he could say another word, Sol had sat up, driving him all the way inside her and sending his nerves on edge. “Oh dear god!” John yelled, digging his nails into her waist. “Holy fuck, I’m-” 

Just before orgasm hit, there was suddenly a blinding pain in his shoulder and John couldn’t move- his body couldn’t decide if it wanted the sensation to stop or continue, so he just wrenched his eyes shut and bucked into her, desperate to climax or stop the pain wracking his body. Trying to keep quiet, he buried his face in her neck, holding her as the aftershocks rippled through his system, making him twitch inside her. 

Through the haze, he was aware of air on his skin, and Sol’s hands in his hair. “Johnny, breathe,” she whispered, her voice low in his ear. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but…”

“S’ok,” he murmured, feeling the room start to swim. “M’fine.” 

“Johnny, you have to do it too,” Sol said, gently shaking him. “Just bite down as hard as you can, right where you are- that’s it… that’s all you have to do.”  
  
“Can’t,” he said, feeling himself drifting off. “Won’t hurt you.” 

“You won’t hurt me,” she insisted, “but I will be hurt if I have to leave… please, Johnny, stay with me a little longer, ok?”

Trying to shake the fog from his brain, John blinked. _I have to...oh yeah, I have to mark her too… otherwise, they can take her away from me._ Hoping he was doing this right, John bit down with all his might, the taste of her blood pooling into his mouth. _What the hell am I doing_ , he thought, his brain shaking off the fog for a moment, gasping and releasing her skin from his teeth. “Sol! I’m so sorry,” he stammered, feeling that same sense of dizziness and nausea wash over him. “Did… did I hurt you?” 

She didn’t answer- she just gently pushed him off her and grabbed a tube of medi-gel from the drawer, lightly brushing it over his shoulder. “You’re going to scar,” she said, her face swimming in front of his. “But this should help with the pain.” 

John felt like electricity was being shot through his shoulder- _how did Jane deal with this?_ “Marked you,” he mumbled, reaching for her and smiling when she nuzzled her face into his hand. “We’re married for real now, right? They can’t take you away from me?” 

“No one is taking me away,” Sol said, running her hands across his cheek. “I’m not leaving you, John.” 

At that, John smiled sleepily, trying not to focus on the pain in his arm that was so sharp it was making it hard to see. “Then it’s worth it,” he murmured, resting against her chest and feeling the soothing vibrations lulling him to sleep. “I’d do it again if I had to.” 

“Go to sleep,” she said, purring and running her hands through his hair. “I’ll be right here, Johnny.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane walked into the room in a tank top and sweats, staring at the prone figure of the lieutenant cuffed to the bed. “Kaidan,” she called out softly, careful to keep her voice low, “are you awake?” 

The man’s head jerked at the sound of her voice, and he shot straight up- even in the dim light, she could see him staring at her. “Commander? Is that you?” 

She nodded, walking into the room. “What happened?” Jane asked, sitting next to him on the bed, staring at him with concern as she rested a hand lightly on his leg. “Why would you do something like that, Kaidan? I never… I didn’t think you were capable of something like this.” Biting her lip, she turned to him and shook her head. “I just thought you were a better person than that.” 

Alenko’s face fell and he closed his eyes, leaving the two of them in silence for a moment. Jane got up to leave, but he reached for her, his movements strained by the cuffs. “It was… I wasn’t thinking straight,” he stammered, growing visibly frustrated by his confinement- Jane sat back down to calm the agitated man. “I used too much power, and my migraines just…” He sighed, then looked down. “There’s no excuse,” he said weakly. “Shepard… I just… I care about you so much…” 

Jane smiled, reaching over to pat his cheek. “I know,” she replied, watching as he leaned his face into her hand. “But that isn’t the way, Kaidan…why wouldn’t you just tell me?” 

“Because I _know_ ,” he whispered, his eyes darting around the room furtively, then resting on the exposed bond-mark on her shoulder. “I know what he’s doing to you, commander… I know he’s hurting you,” he said, bringing his hand to her shoulder. “You don’t have to deal with that- why won’t you _leave_ him?”

“I can’t,” she whispered, lowering her head. “I’m bonded to him… I’m his for life- this mark says so.”

“Not to humans,” Alenko insisted, his eyes going wide and his stare intense. “You can run away with me… I’ll… I’ll protect you, Shepard- I would destroy anything that tried to take you from me.” He placed his cuffed hands on hers, gripping her wrists tight. “I can keep you safe… you know this.” 

“You can keep me safe?” Jane asked, slowly straddling Alenko and letting her hips hover just above his as her forehead rested inches above his- his chest hitched and she stroked a finger along his cheek, making him gasp and close his eyes. “Kaidan,” she murmured, leaning in toward his ear, “can I tell you something?” 

“Anything,” he rasped, trying desperately to meet her body with his. “You can tell me anything, Shepard.”  
  
“Good,” she replied, moving close enough to send her warm breath skating across his earlobe. “Because there’s something you need to know.”

“Just because I’m small and thin,” she murmured, sliding her hand lightly down his body and threading a hand in his hair, “it doesn’t mean I need anyone to save me.” She lifted his shirt, letting the tips of her fingers trace along his skin. “In fact,” Jane purred, grabbing a fistful of his hair and yanking his head back with such force his eyes flew open, “I think it’s me you need to be saved _from_.” 

Without another word, Jane unsheathed her omni-blade and plunged it into his side, making the man shriek with pain. “I’m Commander Jane Alexandra Shepard,” she growled, “and I can save my own fucking self, you psychotic piece of shit!” She twisted the blade deeper, causing him to howl even louder, his voice reaching levels she’d had no idea he could reach. “You disgust me,” Jane spat, staring at him with fury. “I would _never_ be with you,” she hissed, taking her blade out and hovering it next to his face, the heat from it turning his skin bright red. “You don’t know shit about honor or loyalty- what makes you think I’d ever want a piece of trash like you!”

“But… I’m like you!” Kaidan stammered, swallowing nervously at the sight of the blade resting near his face. “I’ll do whatever it takes to take care of the ones I care about… just like you!” 

Jane let out a barking laugh, letting the blade rest right against his cheek, searing the skin and making the lieutenant scream and jerk with pain, desperate to get her off him. “Oh, now you don’t want me on you? Here, let’s connect, you evil bitch!” 

She plunged her blade back into the cauterized wound, causing him to writhe beneath him. “Here’s a pro-tip,” she said, twisting her blade and yanking it out violently, watching with satisfaction as tears spilled down his face, “I’m _nothing_ like you, Alenko. Yes, I’m savage- hell, on the right day, I’m probably worse than you.” Jane smiled wickedly, aware that the man’s screams had sent a cavalcade of thunderous footsteps outside the door. “But here’s where we differ… unlike you, I know how to _use_ my rage- you learn a lot when you grow up on the street. But you…you’ve only seen me when I’m tempered by the ones I love… so you can only _imagine_ how many fucks I _don’t_ give about hurting anyone who comes between me and my family. And you,” she purred, just before punching him in the wound, “tried to kill or threatened all of my family… do you know how angry that makes me, Alenko? Do you see where I might be a little-” she dug her fingers in the rapidly closing hole, making him scream at the top of his lungs, “- _angry?_ Don’t you see where that might upset me?” 

“Please don’t kill me!” Alenko screamed, his eyes wide as he shrieked at the top of his lungs, his cries reverberating off the metal walls. “I don’t want to die!”

“Oh, you don’t want to die?” Jane asked, snarling as she reached down to wrap her hands around his throat. “Did you listen when my sister begged you for her life? Or how about when my husband’s throat swelled so bad that he couldn’t breathe, leaving him with what he thought were going to be his last moments?” She clamped her bloody hands around his neck, making him gasp and splutter, his bound hands useless. “ _This_ is what my sister felt like, you asshole! You left her trapped and at your mercy… and we both know you don’t have any!” The lieutenant’s eyes were turning red as he stared at her with terror, her hands crushing his throat even more as she leaned into the hold. “Guess what? I’m feeling a little _short_ on mercy at the moment, Alenko- maybe I lost it when you capped it off and _threatened my brother!”_

“That’s enough,” a voice said from behind her, grabbing her by the waist and hoisting her off the man. “You’ve done enough, Jane- it’s time to go.” 

“He’s still alive,” Jane growled, her eyes blazing with fury as she stared at the gasping man on the bed. “I _need_ to kill him, Nih… he _deserves_ it!” 

“You know as well as I do that no one ever truly gets what they deserve,” he replied, hauling her out of the room. “But it’s done- you’ve avenged your family, Jane… that’s more than most ever get the chance to do. Now,” he said, glancing over at the bloody and choking man on the bed, “it’s out of our hands- he’s the Alliance’s problem now.”


	50. The Citadel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana and Yeloris have a chat as they wait for the Normandy to arrive

_ _

* * *

Nana stepped off the shuttle and sighed. _Goddess, these kids. What did I do to be strapped with so much trouble rolled up into that pair?_ Knowing that the conversation she had to have with her old friend wasn’t going to be easy, she sighed and ran a hand over her tentacles. _Ye is gonna squeeze out a kantog at this rate_ , she thought, nodding at the sight of the turian woman walking toward her. 

“Natearus,” Yeloris said kindly, giving her a slight bow before breaking out into a wide grin and giving the old asari a hug. “It’s been too long.” 

“Time is relative when you’ve been creepin’ around as long as I have.” Nana tilted her head to the side and gave the turian a half-smile, glancing around thoughtfully before locking eyes with Yeloris again. “Your mate know they’re docking soon? Thought he’d be camped out over here with his talons out for blood.”

Yeloris shook her head as they walked toward the little cafe, heading inside and grabbing a seat in an out of the way corner. “If he does, he hasn’t said anything of the sort. To be honest, that worries me more than anything. Castis is nothing if not meticulous, so the fact that he isn’t sleeping out here in full gear waiting to snatch Sol home at the first opportunity concerns me.” 

“That boy makes my scalp itch.” the asari grumbled irritably as she ran a hand over her head. She took a seat across from the other woman and let out a faint pained huff. “He’ll be along shortly, I expect. Not here now though. Doubt you’ve figured out why I asked you here. It’s big… concerns your girl.”

“What’s wrong with Sol?” Yeloris raised her brow plates at the woman. “None of the kids have told me anything, so what’s so important that you would have me hop on a shuttle out here and not tell me why?”

Nana rested her elbows on the table between them and laced her fingers together. She simply watched the turian for a moment, obviously calculating how best to start. Her expression neutral, she stared into the turian’s eyes. “Remember years ago… when I tested your chicks for traces of biotic abilities?”

Instantly, Yeloris went pale, gripping the table so hard she left marks with her talons. “She didn’t.” 

“Well, dear… she did. Nearly blew a hole in the hull of that ship too. Stronger than I expected. Had to happen sooner or later. Best it happened when it did though- there was just a _little_ … bag of trouble out there and she got her hands caught in it.” 

The turian didn’t miss a beat- Nana nodded approvingly. “Define little, Natearus.”

Nana sighed and rested her chin on one of her hands, still watching the turian’s reactions. She gave her a small smile and hummed softly for a moment. “Let me see… how should I say this? Well… she put a psychopath through a steel wall… with a biotic blast.”

“And why would she do that?” Yeloris asked calmly. Her tone was at odds with the steel in her spine. “Sol wouldn't do that for no reason..” 

Nana practically purred the answer. “Oh, she had reason, girl. The xenophobic little bastard tried to beat her within an inch of her life. I call that a good trigger for those latent biotic abilities she’s been sittin’ on.” 

“ _Spirits_ ,” Yeloris breathed, then sank back into her chair. “But… no one told me… why wouldn’t they-” 

The asari shook her head with a grunt. “At a guess… _worry,_ dear. What could you do from here anyway? You’d worry yourself sick and nobody wants that.” 

“They’re my kids!” Yeloris snapped. “Of course I’m going to worry!” The turian’s sub-vocals were all over the place, and Nana could tell her friend was one step away from keening. “What’s going on out there!” 

“And _this_ is why they didn’t tell you. Rumblin’ so loud they can hear you on the _Presidium_ .” Nana snapped back and flipped a hand at her to indicate her current state. “How about an ice pack for that temper of yours, dear? You really should cool down a little before they dock. Your girl sees you stressed like this… she might just run the other way thinkin’ _you’re_ gonna ship her off to the Cabal.”

“I would _never_ ,” Yeloris hissed, her expression appalled. “I just… I never wanted this for her,” she said sadly, hanging her head. “I wanted her to have her own life... to choose her own path.” The turian shook her head. “Castis… _spirits…_ he loves her, but he also has a duty to do what’s right. He’s… he’ll send her away.” 

“We rarely get what we _want_ and you know it, girl. The reality of the situation has landed in her lap so much harder than it has yours.” Nana shook her head. “Doesn’t help that mate of hers is twisted around so far he’s lookin’ at his own ass… boy needs to screw his head on right.”

Yeloris snapped her head up at that. “What do you mean, ‘mate’?”

“Oh… _dammit_ … the girl hasn’t told you… Hasn’t bothered to call you in a while, has she?” Nana ran both hands over her head at that and squeezed her eyes shut for a minute. “I think I need a _stiff_ drink. You might wanna order one in a minute too.”

Wordlessly, Yeloris flagged down a waiter, never taking her eyes off her friend. “I think I would rather like you to start talking, Natearus. You seem to know much more than I do right now and getting on somewhat equal footing when it comes to _my chicks_ would be very much appreciated right now!”

Nana sighed in resignation. “ _After_ I’ve had a sip of somethin’ that burns like hellfire goin’ down… then I’ll tell you anything you wanna know.” 

“Is it that spectre?” Yeloris closed her eyes and folded her hands. “Spirits above, please say it isn’t… Castis will lose his mind.” 

“My dear girl… you _wish_ it was Kryik. Truly you do…” Nana sighed and glanced at the waiter. “Thessian sunrise with a shot of ryncol… _now!_ ”

“Thank the spirits,” Yeloris exclaimed, breathing a sigh of relief. “You’re right… the spectre isn’t a biotic.”

“No, dear, there’s not a biotic cell in his numbskull body,” Nana grumbled. “Next guess.” 

At that, her friend’s eyes went wide and she practically shot forward in her seat. “So… Is it true? Sol and Johnny? Did he actually do it?”

Nana eyed her suspiciously for a few seconds as the waiter set her drink down. Rather than attempt to put words to the thoughts racing through her mind in those seconds, she snatched up the drink and downed it. “So.. you’re ok with your girl choosing a human over a turian spectre?”

“I’m happy she has chosen someone she loves over someone she mistakenly thinks might make her father happy,” Yeloris replied, breathing a sigh of relief. The turian flagged down the waiter and ordered a turian brandy, neat- Nana watched her curiously, as Yeloris never tended to drink anything harder than an ale on a special occasion. “However, this does pose its own challenges, I’ll give you that.” 

“ _Challenges_ …” Nana purred and shook her head with a faint laugh. She ordered another round before looking Yeloris straight in the eyes. “This is a _damn disaster,_ girl. That mate of yours is gonna peel the hide right off that boy when he finds out. Hopefully, John has the good sense to do what I told him. Might go easier for Sol if he did.”

“What did you ask him to do?” Yeloris asked curiously, taking her drink graciously from the waiter and setting it down.

“Mark her. If he expects to keep her by his side, he ain’t got a lot of choice. We both know Castis will ship her off the instant he catches the scent of ozone about her.” Nana grumbled as if it was the most obvious solution in the world. “Johnny neglects that… the only thing I can think to do is take her to Omega with me. The boy doesn’t like that idea, of course.”

“I suppose he wouldn’t,” Yeloris said, taking a sip of her drink. “ It doesn’t matter if they’re turian or not- no new mate likes the idea of their partner being shipped away. Look at Gar and Jane- newly bonded and can’t bear to leave each other’s sides.” The turian sighed, then looked down at her hands. “Tear, be honest with me… who did this to my child? Who hurt my baby?”

Nana just looked at the turian woman for a moment. She considered all the possible ways this thing could go. There was so much more her friend obviously didn’t know and she found herself reluctant to divulge the rest of it, but that wasn’t how their friendship worked- it never had been. With a nod to herself, she locked eyes with the turian woman again. “There’s more to this shitstorm than you know, girl. You need all the facts… before I start droppin’ names.”

Yeloris frowned- she knew the asari well enough to know that this wasn’t going to be good. “I’m listening.”

Nana took another sip of her drink hoping the alcohol buzz would mellow out the anxiety the turian’s questions had evoked. She swished it around her mouth, savoring the numbing burn before swallowing. _Stalling, that’s what you’re doin’, girl. Just tell her and be done with it_. The asari berated herself. With a sigh, she finally gave the woman the next piece of the puzzle. “Garrus didn’t call you, did he? Didn’t expect he would. Guess he didn’t want you catchin’ the next shuttle out to him.”

“Spit it out, Tear- first you tell me that something happened to Sol, and now you’re talking about Gar… what does he have to do with this?” Yeloris began to rumble irritably. “You’re dodging questions… which leads me to believe I won’t like the answers you have.”

Grumbling as her friend pushed for an explanation, Nana just gave her a look of frustration. Finally, she sighed in resignation. “Fine, girl. That sorry sack of shit sittin’ out there on that ship _poisoned_ your boy.” The asari held up a hand to stop the turian when she opened her mouth. “He’s alive… Last I heard, he was fine- the attempt failed. Suppose that might be what prompted him to turn his sights on Sol. Now, before I give you this boy’s name… I gotta be sure you’re not gonna run off and do somethin’ stupid, Ye.” 

“Define stupid,” Yeloris growled, her talons digging into the table. “And do it quickly.”

“You can’t go stormin’ off after him, Yeloris. You know the past has a way of catchin’ up with the likes of us. This boy’s got more connections than a hanar has legs. _High_ connections at that. Should’ve seen it in that first glimpse of his service record.” Nana grumbled more to herself than the turian across from her. She berated herself for not seeing it sooner. The words were more growl than actual vocals as she tossed the information out there. “No way he could’ve gotten off with a slap on the wrist after murdering his instructor.”

“You know I’ve never particularly cared for connections- with the right information, everyone is touchable and you know it,” Yeloris said flatly, her sub-vocals almost undetectable. “And if you don’t give it to me, I’m going to find it, Tear- you know I will. I need a name. Now.” 

“Start diggin’ in the wrong files and you’ll stretch both our necks. I may still have Tevos’s ear, but Sparatus hates you… you know he’ll find any reason to throw you in the deepest, darkest prison cell he can find.” Nana grumbled softly, leaning across the table just a little, and looked around to make sure no one was listening in. “Thought that boy was gonna choke up a testicle when you told him where he could stick his woozle.”

She shrugged. “I did what I had to do… and you know I’d do it again. Sparatus seems to have a habit of indiscretions… and taking the wrong woman into his bed. I am many things, but I respect a bonding above all else- he should’ve had the same respect for his wife.” 

“Well.. he was thinkin’ with the wrong part of his anatomy, girl. Let’s hope he’s got his fringe on straight or this mess might just blow up in all our faces,” the asari murmured quietly before taking another small sip of her cotton candy-colored drink. “Good thing I’ve still got an ear on the Council. Tevos still owes me more favors than she can pay back in ten asari lifetimes,” Nana said over the rim of her glass. A thought struck her a moment later and she set it down with a faint frown. “Castis is another story- you go diggin’ where your talons don’t belong… and _he’ll_ start snoopin’. Just _had_ to go and bond yourself to a damn C-Sec _detective_ … You must love livin’ on the edge, girl.”

“One could hardly blame me- he was perfect back then,” Yeloris said with a wistful smile. “Besides, I’m friends with you, aren’t I?”

“True enough… but that mate of yours… _Goddess, perfect?_ _Ha!_ What happened?” Nana raised her hairless brows at the turian and shook her head in mirth. “He swallow a yhag?” 

“He’s just… too set in his ways to see how things change,” Yeloris replied thoughtfully. “Back then, everything was new and different… but he longed for stability, and I… I look to see where the world is going. Always have…” the turian smiled, staring at her glass. “And I suppose I always will.” She set down her drink, then fixed Nana with a hard stare. “I’ve never hesitated to do what's right before… and you know how I feel about my kids, Tear- I need a name.” 

“ _Fine_ … if it’ll keep you from diggin’! But _by the Goddess_ , don’t go tearin’ after him half-cocked.” Nana let out a frustrated huff and knocked back the rest of her drink. “The boy is Kaidan Alenko,” Nana said at length when she realized the turian looked as if she might tear herself out of that chair and claw her way across the table. “ _Dammit_ , Ye, he’s _Udina’s nephew_.”

Finally, the turian realized the gravity of the situation and blinked, shaking her head as she looked at her glass. “Well,” she breathed, “it’s definitely a situation, I’ll give you that.”

“What’s a situation?” A deep voice came from behind them, making the two women jump. 

Nana let out an exasperated sigh at the sound of his voice and slapped her hands down on the table. “And the shit just hit the fan.”

The turian looked at Nana for a moment, then rolled his eyes. “I just got word that my mate is here on the Citadel,” Castis rumbled, placing his face to Yeloris’s. “What brings you out here?” Then his eyes flitted over to Nana and he let out an irritated-sounding rumble. “And Natearus… what a… _wonderful_... surprise.” 

“Uh-huh… you say that now, boy. Doubt you’ll be too pleased with that _surprise_ later.” Nana grumbled and picked up her second glass of pastel-colored liquor. She eyed it thoughtfully before knocking half of it back in a single gulp. “There’s not enough alcohol on the _Citadel_ to deal with how you’re gonna be in a couple hours.”

“Oh, I think I’ll be fine,” Castis purred, resting his hand on top of Yeloris’s shoulder. “I’ve gotten word that the Normandy should be docking soon, and I have a high suspicion my daughter is on that ship.” He turned to his wife with a pointed look. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” 

Yeloris sat still and didn’t blink- she just sipped her drink. “The kids haven’t called me in weeks,” she replied- Nana huffed with amusement as she took another sip of her cotton candy-colored concoction. “Honestly, I don’t know where they are.” 

_Well, girl, picked up a thing or three about hedgin’ around the truth. Good, you’ll need that. Don’t give him more clues than he already has_ , Nana thought wryly. She narrowed her eyes at Castis barely a heartbeat later. _He got word way too quick about that bucket comin’ into dock- what are you playin’ at, boy?_ “What makes you think the girl is on board the Normandy?”

Castis narrowed his eyes at the old asari. “A hunch… I’ve been looking for Sol out here for weeks now… nothing has turned up. She hasn’t contacted me, and the missing person’s report hasn’t brought up anything yet… so the only logical conclusion is that she’s onboard that ship with… the _Commander_ ,” he said derisively. 

“No wonder your kids don’t call you. Filing missing person’s reports… damn, boy.” Nana fumed and dropped her hands into her lap under the table. Opening her omni-tool and damping down the glow, she tapped out a quick message but did not send it off right away. She needed this idiot to stick his foot just a little further into his mouth. “Controlling much?” 

“Is that so?” Castis sneered, leaning in a little closer. “Tell me… how’s Aria, Natearus?”

Nana glared at him at the mention of Aria. instead of snapping at him, she smiled sweetly up at him and rested her chin on her knuckles. “Aria _is_ Omega… and I’m damn proud of her. What more do you wanna know?”

“Nothing to be concerned about- I’m just always interested in other shining examples of parenting, that’s all.” He shrugged casually, then smiled. “Considering that both Garrus and his human partner have taken leaves suspiciously around the same time, I’m inclined to believe they’ve gone with the _human_ as well.” He gave a smug sounding trill as he squeezed Yeloris’s shoulder again and pressed his brow to hers. “But it doesn't matter- they’ll find her and bring them both in for questioning… in the end, it’ll all get sorted out as it should be.” 

Yeloris looked up at him and frowned. “Darling, don’t you think that’s a little… _extreme_? Jane is a spectre, and Gar is an adult… their decisions are their own.”

“Of _course_ ,” Castis replied, holding up his hands in mock apology. “But Sol.. you already know that the girl is irrational at the best of times, prone to flights of fancy. Who’s to say she didn’t get caught up in the human’s sway… or worse.” He shook his head, then scoffed. “The male has been trouble since we met… I don’t know why they even allowed someone like him into C-Sec in the first place… should have been jailed long ago.”

“You plannin’ to toss _my_ kid in jail? I think I might take that a little personal, boy.” Nana growled and glared up at the turian. “Those kids may not be my blood, but I’ll burn in the seventh level of hell before I let anybody unjustly imprison _any_ of them…” her voice dropped to a low snarl. “And that _includes_ Garrus and Solana…. By association.”

Castis rolled his eyes. “And there I was, wondering why those two humans were so bloody annoying.” Suddenly, the male paused, no doubt replaying her words in his head- after a moment, he glared at the asari, then back to his wife. “I know Garrus insists on degrading himself with the female, but that doesn’t explain why Sol would have an _association_ with you.” 

Nana huffed a sigh of frustration at that. _Here goes the fan slingin’ the shit_ … She mulled over how best to proceed and realized it was coming out sooner rather than later. Her decision made, she gave him a challenging glare, hard as old nails, and tilted her head. “As you well know, it’s within a Justicar’s rights to take a fledgling biotic under her wing. I formally enact the Code and extend my protection to the fledgling in question.”

Castis stared at her harshly, looking as if he wanted to pluck out each and every one of her tentacles. “There’s hardly a need for that… as Solana is not a biotic. Next time, try a new tactic… your age is showing, asari.” 

“And there’s where you’re wrong, boy. She’s a latent biotic recently catalyzed _and_ triggered. I _am_ showing my age… a far cry better than you, _kid_.” Nana snapped, emphasizing the significant age gap between them, before sending that message off to John in warning.

Yeloris hadn’t yet said a word- the woman was just sitting across from Nana, nursing her drink. Her face was steely and calm, but Nana knew she was listening to every word. _You better get that mate of yours under control now, girl… before I flay him where he stands_.

Finally, Yeloris sighed, twisting her head up to Castis. “This quest of yours is petty and pointless, dear- please call this off before you cause a scene.”

“I will not!” Castis roared, causing Nana to raise her brow at his anger. “Solana is my daughter- if what this old hag says is true, then she must be handled properly!”

Yeloris just looked at him pointedly. “But you don’t have any authority over her, Castis,” she said quietly. “I’m afraid this matter is now between Sol and her mate.”

Nana smiled and gave a sharp nod at Yeloris’s comment as she eyed the turian male. _Good girl. Needle the asshole a little harder. Better yet… run that needle right up his ass. He might get the point then_. “A hag am I? Now we’re resorting to name-calling? Hmmm… I think I can do _so_ much better… you prickly, sandpaper-coated shit sandwich. Damn juvenile delinquent.” 

“No one was talking to you, asari.” Then he thought about what Yeloris had said, and Castis looked at his wife as if he’d just been slapped. “ _Excuse me?”_

“Not so high and mighty now, are ya, _dear_ .” Nana’s voice dripped honey and satisfaction at the near horrified look on his face. “Looks to me like your chicks have developed minds of their own… _finally_. So, since you won’t be shipping the girl off, I’ll be taking up her training… As I _would have anyway_. Idiot boy… you still don’t realize _I’m_ the one your people call for new Cabal recruits.”

She had to hand it to him- even when flustered, the male tried to retain some dignity. “There’s been no bonding ceremonies. Solana may be _infatuated_ with someone… but I haven't seen any paperwork come through as of yet.” 

“Since when does paperwork constitute the _only_ means of bonding? As I recall… _bond-marks_ hold a _bit_ more sway with you… or is that a bite? _Ha!_ ” Nana chuckled softly at his discomfort, then shot off another quick message to John, hoping it would get to him in time. It read simply: _I hope you_ _marked the girl_.


	51. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy arrives on the Citadel.

_ _

* * *

The next morning, John woke up naked with a stiff shoulder and something smooth and hard against his back. _What the hell happened,_ he thought blearily, glancing around the room, his eyes going wide when he found himself staring into the curious face of JC, who was staring at him from the top of the bed. _Wait a minute… if I’m in Tiny’s room, then that means..._ Anxiously, John put a tentative hand to his shoulder, his stomach flipping in knots when he felt the raised skin there. _Oh shit,_ he thought, trying to keep himself still, _we did it… Tiny and I…_

“How are you feeling?” Sol asked, her hands drifting to the mark on his shoulder. Slowly, she lowered her lip plates to it, gently running her tongue over the raised skin. “Are you ok?”

Instantly, John realized that the smooth, hard surface on his back was her plates, and he shifted over to look at the naked turian that had wrapped herself around him. “Better now,” he murmured, running his hand down her exposed side. “Exactly why didn’t we ever sleep naked together before?” 

“I have no idea,” Sol replied, laughing. “You’re like a wonderful little heater, Johnny- I was finally warm without needing every blanket on the ship.” 

John chuckled, then glanced at the mark on her neck, a dark and perfect bite impression standing out against her skin. _Forensics would kill to have something like that,_ he mused. _Wonder what my shoulder looks like?_ “So,” he said, dragging his eyes away from her marks and placing a hand on her hip, “looks like you’re stuck with me, Tiny. I hope your ‘stress relief’ with the human was acceptable, cause…” He shrugged, earning a bright laugh from her that relaxed his nerves. “...cause I’m not going anywhere.” 

“It was wonderful,” she replied, resting her head against his and letting out a contented sigh. “All my life, I never understood what the fascination with sex was,” she said, closing her eyes. “Now I feel like I might have been missing out on something.”

John’s face flushed red with embarrassment, and he cleared his throat. “Um, just so you know, telling your husband with the admittedly fragile male ego that you wished you’d banged more people isn’t the way to inspire confidence, Tiny.”

Sol’s eyes flew open, and she let out an embarrassed chirp of her own. “Oh, no! I don’t mean that at all- I just mean…” she ran her hands down his side, stopping to trace her fingers over his thighs, “if I’d known how it was going to be, I’d have asked to do this sooner.” 

Just then, Joker’s voice boomed through the cabin, and John let out a groan, burying his face into Sol’s chest. “Morning, everyone! We’ll be docking at the Citadel in two hours, so put away all your toys and get ready. Commander has called for two days of shore leave, so use it well and try not to get arrested- that’s Johnny’s job. Joker out!” 

“Cockblock,” he muttered, glaring up at the ceiling. “I just got married, asshole- can’t a guy catch a break!” 

“The comms aren’t on,” Sol murmured in his ear, her voice and her rumble turning him on despite the knowledge of what they had to do today. “Why are you yelling at the air?”

“Venting my frustration,” he grumbled, earning a laugh and a soft headbutt from her. “I was hoping that we could stay in bed a little longer.” Slowly, he ran his hand along her side and she started rumbling, the vibrations sending delicious little tremors that made him wish that he could just slide inside her. “How long does it take for those plates of yours to open, Tiny?” 

“I don’t know,” she said teasingly, her blue eyes dancing over his face as she ran her hands through his hair. “But he did say we have two hours… care to find out?”

John just grinned as he climbed over on her, watching her shiver with excitement. “I plan to learn each and every curve of this body of yours,” he said, pressing his lips to her shoulder. “And I think we need to do some experimenting to see if some things are universal.” 

“Now who’s saying mean things to their mates?” Sol asked, giving him a wounded look. “You know I don’t have as much… _experience_ as you, Johnny.” 

“Not so much fun when it’s aimed at you, is it?” She glared and he kissed her, delighting in the way she passionately returned his efforts. “I just mean that I plan to spend a long time making sure you are _absolutely_ confident that you made the best decision of your life, Solana Vakarian.”

“Then you’re already done,” she said, adjusting so he could settle between her legs, “because I’ve been certain about that for a while, Johnny.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane stood in the mess hall in her dress blues, fumbling nervously at the coffee pot. _This is a goddamn paradox,_ she thought, frowning as she stared at the machine. _How is it that I need coffee in my system to make the goddamn coffee? This makes no sense and I hate my life right now._

“Thought this was my job,” Garrus murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist. Jane smiled, tilting her head up to his and pressing a kiss to his lips. “Move over, Jane- you’re liable to hurt someone… or ruin your clothes.”

“I should not have to rely on my dextro husband to make me coffee,” Jane grumbled, moving over to sit at the table. He chuckled and she sighed, dropping her head on her elbows. “Fuck, I am not looking forward to this day.” 

“No one told you to carve the prisoner up like a kantog steak,” Garrus chided, bringing her a mug of coffee and sitting down next to her. “You’re lucky Chakwas could make him… presentable again.”

“I wish she wasn’t able to,” Jane shot back. “I’m glad that fucker is gonna scar- he deserves to show everyone just what a scumbag he is.”

“Remind me never to get on your bad side,” Garrus said teasingly, placing a kiss on her cheek before looking up at the door with irritation. “ _Spirits above,_ those two are at it _again_!” 

Jane looked at him with confusion, then her eyes went wide. “Oh!” Her hand flew to her mouth to stifle her laughter, which bubbled over when her husband shot her an evil look. “Oh stop it,” she teased, poking him in the side and ignoring his put-upon sounding rumble. “You know we were like that when we first bonded- stop acting all holier than thou, Armor Cat.” 

“We were not doing this when your brother could know every detail of what I did to you,” Garrus said dryly, rolling his eyes at her and trying to pretend that he wasn’t enjoying her placing sloppy kisses all over his cheek. “Besides, you know I hate it when you call me that, Jane.” 

“Of course I know,” Jane replied, laughing as he poked her back. _I love moments like these_ , Jane thought as she kissed him. _No one else is around and I don’t have to be Commander Shepard… I can just be Jane for a little while._ “Even though I know Saren being on the loose is hanging over our heads, I am more than happy to have this break… I think we need it.”

“I, for one, am going to love being _away_ from those two,” he grumbled. “This is way too much togetherness for me- I do _not_ need to be anywhere in the vicinity until they get this out of their systems.” 

“Do _you_ have it out of your system?” Jane asked teasingly, resting her hand on his thigh. “Are you done being all over me?”

Garrus paused, then a wide grin spread over his face. “No,” he purred, nuzzling his face into her neck. “And I don’t plan on ever being done, either.” 

_ _

* * *

John was marching Alenko down the ramp, his arms cuffed behind his back. “You are a _miserable_ excuse for a human being,” he snarled, shoving his foot into the stalling man. “I cannot _wait_ to be rid of you.” 

“You’re making a _mistake_ ,” Alenko said, his voice taking on a sing-songy lilt. “I’m gonna have your _heads…_ there’s no _way_ my family is gonna let this stand… _and Jane is gonna pay…_ ”

Unable to control himself, John smacked the man upside the head, sending him bouncing into the metal doorframe. “Oops,” he said flatly, brushing off Alenko’s shoulder. “I’m _so_ sorry.” 

Alenko snarled, but he was cut off by the stern-looking asari standing on the dock. “Mind your manners, boy!” Nana snapped, giving John a look that could curdle milk. “Don’t give him grounds to go cryin’ to C-Sec over brutality charges.” She glanced at Anderson with a nod before returning her glare to Alenko. “This the little scuzzball you told me about? Remember him being… _taller_. Oh well, short shit is my problem now.”

“ _Your_ problem?” Anderson looked at Nana with concern. “He’s Alliance, Natearus- he needs to stand trial for his crimes on an Alliance vessel! On what grounds do you have any right-” 

“He’s attacked the fledgling I’m to take charge of!" Nana said, waving a dismissive hand at Alenko. "According to the Code, I’m permitted to do as I see fit with this… _person._ ” 

“You should kill him,” Jane’s voice said from behind John, making him jump. She was standing at the entryway of the ship, standing at parade rest with Garrus at her side. “He tried to kill my husband and sister- he deserves everything you can dish out... and more.” 

Nana cut the commander off with a glare and a sharp tongue. “I have no intention of killing him, girl. He’ll pay dearly for his transgressions… and _if_ there’s anything left, then the Alliance can have him.” 

Jane rolled her eyes. John was sure she was just going to stand there, but Garrus poked her in the side. “Hello, Natearus,” Jane said stiffly, staring at her feet. “it’s been a while.”

Nana glanced between Jane and her mate before locking her eyes on Garrus. “Looks like you’re not doing your job well enough, boy. She’s still too damn grumpy.” 

“Her family nearly being murdered puts a damper on things,” Garrus said dryly, then cocked his head at the asari. “Hmmm… you look familiar…”

“Well, now… I supposed I should. Tested you and your sister years ago at your mother’s request,” Nana snarked with a cackle. “Always were stubborn, both of you.” 

“Apparently, you didn’t test well enough, considering my sister is a walking nuke right now,” Garrus snapped, glaring at the asari. “Care to explain?” 

Immediately, John groaned and put his head in his hands. _Fuck me twice, I do not want to get into this right now_ , John thought, shoving Alenko towards Anderson and his MP’s. _I just want to get the hell out of here before any more drama kicks off._

“My testing methods were more than adequate. Your sister was a latent biotic,” Nana replied evenly, waving at John with a smile. “Then she found him… and… well.. biotics tend to attract and catalyze each other.”

“So this is _my_ fault?” John looked at Nana with shock, doing his best to ignore the rumbling coming from the turian behind him. “You know what- fuck it. We can have this conversation later- Anderson, get this bastard out of my sight before I kill him and save us all the fucking trouble.” 

“You wish,” Alenko snarled, glaring at John over his shoulder. “When I get out… I _promise_ that little skullface bitch of yours won’t be able to save you, Shepard.” The soldier turned to Jane, his expression murderous. “And you and _I…_ ” he purred, licking his lips, “are going to finish what we started, Jane.” 

“I think we’ve heard just about enough of you, boy!” Nana barked, pointed at him before closing the fist and wrapping him in a biotic bubble. “Hum... “ She smiled at the muffled mutterings from within. “Much better," the asari said, nodding with satisfaction. "Go on, Anderson, dear. Take him wherever it is you need to take him, but… I _will_ be coming for him later.”

“I think you were remiss in informing me of these proceedings, dear friend,” a soft voice said from behind Nana. “I think I deserve the chance to see the piece of work that tried to murder both of my chicks… don’t you?”

 _Holy fuck, is this a family reunion?_ John closed his eyes and swallowed, not wanting to look back at Garrus and Jane. “Yeloris,” he stammered, not wanting this to be the first introduction he had with the woman as a newly bonded man, “Um… what… _why_ are you here?”

Nana ignored John’s fumbling and turned to her friend. “Told ya I’d be here, Ye - besides, that bubble boy over here was gonna face me sooner or later.” Nana glanced at the turian before looking beyond her. “Where’s that mate of yours? I know as sure as my ass is blue that he’s not gonna let this one go.”

“Hence why I’m here,” Yeloris said, turning to John. “Castis is on his way… he got a call about the Normandy docking and lit out of the apartment.” She turned to Anderson, then nodded curtly at the captain. “Please remove this human before I kill him,” she said politely, her expression hard. “Tear may be inclined to let him face your trials, but I’m not in such a forgiving mood at the moment, I’m afraid.” 

Anderson nodded, then gestured to the officers to take the silent man to the skycar. “Natearus…” The asari glared at him as started to say something else, then thought better of it and shook his head. “Never mind… just… please call me before you do anything- can I at least have that courtesy, Justicar?” 

Nana gave him a curt nod and locked eyes with him for a moment. “You have my word as a Justicar… you’ll hear from me before I come for him.”

As Anderson left, John swallowed, looking at the turian woman and blushing furiously. “Um, hi, Yeloris,” he said nervously, wishing he could run back inside the ship. “How’s things?”

“Come now, boy… you can do better than that.” Nana snarked with a growing grin on her face. Her eyes darted toward Yeloris and that smile grew a little wider. “I’m sure your new mother-in-law wants all the _juicy details_ … _Ha!_ ”

“Tear,” Yeloris said kindly, shaking her head. “Don’t tease the poor boy- we’ve got enough problems as it is.” Then she turned back to John and cocked her head. “Have you mated with Sol yet?” 

Jane let out a guffaw and John turned redder than a tomato. “C'mon Yeloris! I don’t wanna have this conversation with you!” 

“And _I_ don’t want to hear it,” Garrus muttered, earning himself a poke in the side from Jane. “Can we _please_ get out of here?”

“Well.. that depends.” Nana stepped up to John and looked him over, her nostrils flaring slightly. She nodded in approval and dropped her voice so only John could hear. “She chose well, boy- not your fault her biotics were triggered. Bound to happen sooner or later.” Glancing back toward the others, she slapped him hard on his irritated shoulder, smirking at his wince. “Yep, definitely mated.”

“And it burned like a sonofabitch,” John muttered, running his hand over his aching shoulder. “I find it hard to believe that this shit is fun for anyone.”  
  
“Wasn’t that bad for me,” Jane piped up, earning a glare from John. “You’re just a little bitch, Johnny.”

Yeloris just smiled and shook her head. “Don’t antagonize your brother, little one.” Then she looked back over at John. “Where is Sol? I have no doubt that Castis is coming, and I can’t imagine we have much time.”

“Inside,” he said quickly, turning toward the ship. “I didn’t want her to have to see that piece of shit again if she didn’t have to.”

“Bring her out,” Nana said seriously, not a trace of her usual snark. “Either the bond-marks are presented to her father as evidence of your mating or I officially take Sol under my tutelage.” 

“Present these fuckers away then,” John shot back. “My wife isn’t going anywhere if I can help it.”

“I’ll go get Sol,” Garrus replied, patting Jane on the shoulder and walking inside the ship. Then he leaned over and whispered in John’s ear. “Good luck, Shepard… I don’t like this, but if it had to be anyone… at least I know you’ll take care of my sister.” 

As he slapped John on his inflamed shoulder, John gritted his teeth- desperate not to scream. Taking a deep breath as the turian left, John turned to Yeloris. “Are you mad?” 

Yeloris looked at him with confusion. “John, why would I be mad? This is a day for celebration- I’m only saddened that my mate doesn’t seem to see it that way.” She walked over to John and lightly pressed her head to his. “I am proud to have a son who loves his mate so much that he is willing to do whatever he can to keep her safe,” she whispered, wrapping him in her arms. “I am honored to welcome you into our family.” 

John swallowed, then hugged the turian back. “Thanks, Yeloris… that… means a lot.” 

“All this family bonding is wonderful, but… we don’t have a lot of time. I expect that pompous ass to show up any minute,” Nana grumbled as she glanced toward the elevator. “Wouldn’t surprise me if he’s already waiting out there somewhere for the lot of you.”

“Funny you should say that,” the harsh voice said from the other side of the room just as Sol appeared in the doorway. “Just as I thought… that is my daughter,” Castis said, turning to the officers at his side. “And that man next to her is John Shepard… I think we need to take him in for questioning.” 

“Oh, I _don’t_ think so.” Nana stepped between him and his target and crossed her arms, glaring at him. “You’ll _not_ be touching my charges, boy- there’s been no wrongdoing here. Go see to the Alenko boy Captain Anderson has in custody if you’re lookin’ for a suspect.”

John felt his heart sink in his chest as he took Sol’s hand in his- this was not going well at all. “Sir,” he said, hoping he could at least somewhat appeal to the angry-looking turian in front of him, “I didn’t-”

“Save it,” Castis snapped, his growl rumbling and angry as he approached. “You can explain at C-Sec headquarters- I know you’re responsible for this! There is no _way_ my daughter would run off on her own!” Then glanced down at Sol’s wrists and growled even louder. “ _And_ you’ve _restrained_ my daughter on top of it?” 

“Can it, boy! Those aren’t restraints- they’re biotic dampeners.” Nana leaned in toward his face and snapped. “You know _damn_ well John didn’t kidnap her! Now, since she’s a biotic and untrained, she falls under _my_ protection as the current Cabal instructor.” The asari leaned close enough to the turian to see the texture of his plates, letting her voice drop to a low snarl as she growled at him again. “Got a problem with that? Take it up with _Primach_ Fedorian!”

At the mention of the Primarch, the officers just looked at each other with the ' _I don't get paid enough for this shit'_ look and left, shaking their heads. Undaunted, Castis snarled right back at Nana, leaning into her face. “You’ve overstepped your bounds for _years_ , asari,” he growled. “Solana is _my_ daughter-”

“ _Your daughter, not your property, Vakarian!_ You’re a _disgrace_ to your clan name," Nana snarled in a low angry voice, refusing to budge. "Your father and his father… back ten generations are swirling in their urns at your childishness!” 

“My ancestors are spinning in their graves over my children _destroying_ the family line with these _humans_!” Castis roared. “How dare you-”

“Nothin’ wrong with the humans… except your xenophobia,” Nana purred, tapping her chin as she squared her shoulders. “I wonder… did you retire voluntarily? Or did C-Sec threaten to drum you out over that little character flaw of yours?” 

Just then, Yeloris cleared her throat, and John breathed a sigh of relief at the adult in the room stepping in. She placed a hand on Castis’s shoulder, giving the turian an icy stare. “Sol is not a fledgling,” she said firmly. “She is an adult, capable of making her own choices, dear. We cannot-”

“That is enough!” Castis roared, interrupting his wife and reaching over to grab Solana by the arm. “You are leaving _right now_ \- I’ve had enough of this foolishness!” 

John had tried to be calm throughout this whole thing, he really had. He’d taken the assaults on his character in stride, but when Castis put his hands on Sol’s arm, his whole body flared up with a bright blue light, instantly ready to smite the turian in front of him without a bit of hesitation. “You need to take your fucking hands _off_ my _wife_ ,” John snarled, using his biotics to shove Castis off of Sol, sending the turian staggering backward. “If you _ever_ fucking touch her again,” he yelled, thrusting his finger in the direction of her father, “I don’t care _who_ you are- I’m gonna _break_ that goddamn hand of yours, understand?”

Castis snarled, but Nana put a hand, stopping him from moving any closer. John huffed irritably, but Nana just glared at him before looking back at the furious turian. “I think you _both_ need a timeout. _You_ ,” she said, glaring at John and gesturing to the energy rolling off him, “need to put _those_ away… right the _fuck now_ , boy.” Then her eyes slid back to Castis. “And _you_ need to close that damn _fly trap_ of yours and _listen_ for once. This boy is her _mate_ … or have you forgotten what these mean?” At that, she yanked John’s collar down to expose his bond-mark. “See!”

Yeloris let out a happy chirp before moving to stand in front of John and Sol. “They are _bonded_ ,” she said resolutely, glaring at her husband. “He is her _mate-_ you see the marks, Castis.” She turned to him, her expression firm and unyielding. “This foolishness has to stop! You _cannot_ and _will not_ do this- I will _not_ let you dishonor our traditions just because you feel slighted, Castis!”

For a moment, the elder turian didn't speak, leaving everyone standing in silence, waiting for someone, anyone to say something. Finally, Castis took a long look at John and Sol before huffing dismissively. “Then she is now _his_ clan and they are free to do whatever they like,” he snarled, looking at both Garrus and Sol with utter disgust as he turned on his heel. “Because from this moment on… I _have_ no children.” 


	52. Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The previous events have left everyone shaky; Nana and Yeloris have a chat about what to do next.

_ _

* * *

Sol had been quiet as she gathered her things, only speaking to say goodbye to her kitten. Tali had offered to keep JC for the night so she and John could have time to themselves - the turian had insisted on not making them work on her behalf, but Tali just replied that she and Liara would be returning to the ship that evening, so it was no bother. She’d been fine all the while, watching with quiet horror as her dad stormed away, but now, sitting in the skycar with John, Gar, Jane, Sol couldn’t stop the keen bubbling up from her throat. “I can’t believe it,” she cried, burying her face in John’s side, “he… _disowned_ me- why… I don’t understand- why would he _do_ something like that?” 

John rubbed her side, then pressed a kiss to her temple. “I can’t answer that, but if… you need to… break this off to make nice with him, I get it,” he said softly, holding her tight. “I don’t like it, but I know how important your family is to you, Tiny… I won’t be the cause of you losing what matters to you.” 

Sol stared at John in shock and Garrus let out a huff. “That would be pointless, Shepard.” When John stared at him with confusion, he pointed to her bond-mark. “She’s bonded to you, so like it or not,” he said, a teasing hum in his sub-vocals, “this little pain in the neck is your problem now.”

“I’ll take it,” John replied, running his hand up and down Sol’s arm. “Hey,” he told her, tracing his finger over her cheek, “look, we knew this could happen, right? And I’m sure your mom doesn’t feel the same way… we’ll get through this together, ok, Tiny?”

“You’ve still got family,” Jane said quietly, leaning over to put a hand on her lap. “No matter what, we’re not leaving you, Sol- you’re a Shepard now… and I’m so sorry you’re stuck with my dickhead brother for the rest of your life, but I’m extremely happy that you’re a permanent part of my family.”

“She’s my sister,” Garrus said, looking over at Sol and smiling. “She was always a permanent part of our family, Jane- my father and his asshole-ish decrees won’t change that.” He smiled, then gave Sol a reassuring hum. “How about Jane and I stop over for a little while and have dinner with you two? Might be nice to have something that’s not reheated rations for once, and I know none of our houses have anything to eat in them- ordering in won’t be the worst thing.” 

“I’m good with that,” Jane said quickly, then looked over at Sol. “You two mind hosting your first dinner party? Can you keep your hands off each other long enough for us to have a decent meal?”

“I don’t know,” John teased, pressing his lips to Sol’s for a moment before turning back to Jane. “This one here is pretty irresistible.”

“Still my sister,” Garrus warned, finally making Sol laugh. “Not exactly enthused about watching you make out in front of me, Shepard.” 

“And now you know how I feel,” John replied happily, cupping her face in his hands. “Told you I’d make out with your sister in front of you one day,” he teased, pressing his face to hers. “I just never imagined I’d be this happy to spend the rest of my life with her when I did it.” 

_ _

* * *

Before Nana could say a word, the kids had bundled an almost keening Sol into a skycar and took off, no doubt trying to get her as far away from where Castis might be as possible. Eyes narrowed, Nana watched the skycar speed away into the upper lanes of traffic. _Could have gone better. Definitely could have gone worse. Could have ended with that pain in the ass pinned to the ceiling till the keepers scraped him down._ She shook her head sadly at how much that idiot was overreacting. _Still your kids, Castis, like it or not. Always will be… you just can’t see it through that cloud of spite you surrounded yourself with._

“Well, that certainly did not go well,” Yeloris said from behind her, staring at the ship. “Come, we need to leave- I’m sure the crew would like to exit the ship and not be privy to any more of our drama today.”

Nana huffed and looked back at the turian coming to stand beside her. “You gonna chase after that cloaca you bonded to? Fool boy has no idea of the potential he’s tryin’ to throw away.” 

The turian shook her head. “No- Castis can sit and cool his plates for a minute,”

The asari looked back toward the direction the skycar had disappeared in and pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Surprised Johnny stood down. Looks like I still got some pull with the boy, at least.”

“Poor dear,” Yeloris mused, walking with her friend onto the streets. “You aren’t going to take her away from John, are you?”

“She’s gotta be trained, girl. She’s a danger to herself, her mate, and that bucket back there if she can’t control the power she’s carryin’ around.” Nana said and stopped to look the turian in the eyes. “I’m not plannin’ to take her anywhere, at least not yet. Best place she could be is at that boy’s side. Might be…” and she sighed at the next words that came tumbling past her lips. “Might be best if I stepped on board that ship for a while. Train her myself. Janey might not like it, but… she’d like a hole in her ship even less.”  
  
“Tear, I know they’re your chicks, but you have to remember they’re adults,” Yeloris said warningly as she glanced over at the asari. “How is Jane going to feel about that?”

“She’ll either like it or lump it. Not her choice here. I go and train the girl on board that bucket… or… well, I can take both the girl and her mate back with me.” Nana shook her head at that idea and ran a hand over her scalp. “I’d rather not drag them back Omega, thank you very much. I doubt John would care much for that. Like it even less if I’m forced to take only Solana with me. No… better if I go. But damn, long-distance space travel makes my ass itch.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Yeloris asked patiently, standing at the skycar station and signaling for a vehicle. “I mean, we’ve had our time out there- they need to do this themselves. As much as I want to, we can’t do this for them, Tear- is there any way that John can train her? He is her mate, after all… and he will have to learn how to help her eventually. You and I both know it’s going to be _years_ before she can fully control herself without assistance.” 

Nana thought about it for a few minutes and then gave a sharp shake of her head. “He’s gonna be soft with her because he’s in love with her. Won’t wanna criticize her or even raise his voice to keep her focused. Never a good situation to have mates tryin’ to train each other, especially newly bonded mates.” she sighed with just a touch of remorse at that. “Didn’t work so well for me. Can’t imagine it goin’ much better for them. But this situation won’t be forever, dear. Just till your girl has a grasp of how to control the biotic surges.”

“I suppose,” Yeloris replied, getting into the approaching vehicle and punching in coordinates. “I just want them to be happy- spirits know that mate of mine isn’t helping matters.” The turian sighed as Nana got into the car and sat next to her, leaning her head against the back of the seat. “She needs to know she can trust him, Tear- you know that.” 

“I think they’ve already established that they can trust either, Ye. They’ve marked each other, after all.” Nana frowned, glancing out the window and blinked a few times when it struck her they were heading in the wrong direction for the cafe they normally haunted. “What have you got up your sleeve, girl? Where are we goin’?

“To John’s house, of course,” Yeloris replied, that familiar glint of mischief dancing in her eyes. “My son knows enough to not traumatize his mother by keeping me in the dark after an incident like this.” Nana huffed softly, but Yeloris just smiled. “Come now, Tear- you didn’t think I would let both of my chicks off that easily, did you?”

Nana just looked at her for several long moments before glancing back out the window with a wicked smile spreading across her face. “Ha… never took you for the type to crash a wedding party. I like it.”

_ _

* * *

After a few more keens from Sol, the four of them were in their apartment, about to settle down for dinner. _Our apartment,_ he thought, kissing Sol on the head as the intercom rang. _I can’t believe I’m saying that._ “I’ll get it, he said, not wanting to deal with Nihlus or, even worse, Castis showing up at his doorstep. However, when he checked the monitor, he let out a strangled yelp. “Nana? ”John exclaimed, looking over at the others with shock. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“C’mon, boy, I know you’re in there,” Nana grumbled as she banged on the door. “I can hear ya chatterin’ behind this piece of tin. Open up!” 

“Shit,” John hissed, turning to the others. “Um,” he said carefully, ignoring the banging on the door behind him, “it looks like we have company, guys.” 

“Well, open the fucking door before she blows it off the hinges,” Jane snapped, rolling her eyes. “You know that woman is crazy as fuck, John.” 

Sighing, John opened the door, watching as Nana strode into the room, followed by a smiling Yeloris. “Welcome to our home,” he said dryly, gesturing inside. “Pleasure seeing you right now.” 

“Cut the crap, boy. You know you don’t wanna see us any more than that snapping crab of a father-in-law of yours. But… we’ve things to discuss and… I’m hungry.” When John scowled, Nana just laughed and patted him on the shoulder opposite his bond-mark. “Where’s the grub?” 

“In the kitchen,” he replied, breathing a sigh of relief as he rubbed his shoulder. “Hey, anyone got a better idea why this mark hurts so fucking much? I’d ask Janey, but we all know she’s practically a cyborg and feels nothing,” he hissed at his sister, who stuck her tongue out at him. “This thing burns like _acid_ , man.”

“Biotics burn each other, kid. That’s just the way it is. Turian pheromones are potent stuff too.” Nana glanced back at him over her shoulder with a frown. After a moment she sighed in exasperation and waved him over. “C’mere, John, let’s have a look.”

Reluctantly, he moved over to Nana, taking off his shirt and ignoring the catcalls from Jane. “Does it look like it’s supposed to?” 

Nana looked the mark over and hummed softly to herself as she tapped a finger against her chin. Carefully, she prodded at the edges and took note of his reactions. “Looks a little red, maybe a little more irritated than it should be, but that’s to be expected with a newly triggered biotic. Hold still, son. This might hurt a little.” Before he could protest, she clamped her hand over the mark and drew out the residual biotic energy, allowing it to crackle around her hand and wrist before shaking it off and frowning at him thoughtfully.

 _“OW OW OW! OH DEAR FUCKING LORD, YOU CRAZY LOON!”_ John screamed, clapping at his shoulder- the thing felt like it was on fire. “What the hell did you do to me!” 

Sol tried to get up, but Nana just pointed at her, the look on her face enough to make a rabid varren run the other way. “Stay put, girl, he’s fine.” Turning her attention back to John, she smiled and nodded. “Should feel better right… about… now.”

He scowled for a minute, ready to yell again, but then stopped, noticing that though it still ached, it no longer had that horrible burning sensation. “Well… yeah,” he said sheepishly, rubbing his neck. “It does, actually.”

“Ol’ Nana knows a few things about bond-marks… and a few other things. You should listen more often.” Then she turned her attention to Solana. “And how does yours feel, dear? Hurt, burn, sting? Feel like your head’s about to pop off?”

Sol shook her head. “Nope, I’m fine… didn’t even really notice it.” John glared at her, but she just gave a tiny little chirp. “Sorry… but it really doesn’t hurt- I don’t know why yours hurt so much.”

“Good to hear and there’s no need to apologize with every other breath, girl. Things are gonna happen- it’s the nature of life. You just zapped him with those biotics of yours when you mated.” Nana chuckled softly at the look on Sol’s face. “Happens sometimes.” 

“Great, lucky me,” John grumbled, slipping back on his shirt and heading out to the living room, giving Sol a kiss on the forehead. “You owe me,” he whispered, making the turian giggle and kiss him back. “Yeloris, did you want anything?”

“I’m fine, dear,” she said, settling in the chair next to Garrus and pressing her head to his. “However, you might want to apologize to Tear, darling- I think she’s starting to steam.” 

John looked over and blushed, realizing he hadn’t actually thanked the old asari. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said, glancing over at the woman. “Um… thanks, Nana… for everything today.”

Nana simply gave him a gracious nod of her head before heading into the kitchen and rummaging around for food. “ _Goddess_ … it’s disgusting in here! How long have you been out on that bucket?” Nana growled, sticking her head in the refrigerator.

“ _We_ knew it was a mess,” John said pointedly, sitting down next to Sol. “Hence the takeout on the stove. Feel free to, you know, _not_ criticize our house the first time you come over, maybe?” 

Nana just grumbled under her breath as she came back into the room, stuffing a slice of pizza into her mouth- the turian woman just shook her head at her friend. “So,” Yeloris said calmly, taking a carton of dextro noodles from Nana and picking at them. “Now that we’re all here…” She glanced over at Sol, then placed a hand on her cheek, letting out a sad little chirp. “What are we going to do about Sol? I assume you don’t want to train with the Cabal, am I correct?” 

Sol shook her head quickly, then looked at John, clutching his hand. “No,” she whispered, her sub-vocals pinging wildly. “I don’t want to leave John and Janey… I want to stay on the Normandy… if it’s okay with you, Jane.” 

Jane nodded. “Of course it is… you’re our medic, Sol- I’d be stupid to turn down cheap help. Gotta keep this one safe,” she said with a smile, patting Garrus’s cheek. “I just want you to be okay, though- I know you don’t want to spend the rest of your days in that fancy jewelry of yours.”

Nana licked her fingers clean and looked around the room at the rest of them. “Well, kids, we don’t have a lot of options here. Sol, you need training.”

“I can do it,” John interjected, glancing over at Sol. “You taught me… I can teach her.”

Nana sighed. “To be perfectly clear, she’s a danger to herself and everybody around her if she can’t control it. Johnny, how do I say this…. I think you’d go too easy on her.”

“I _was_ a soldier,” he said dryly. “I _do_ know how to instruct recruits, Nana.”

“Ordering recruits around isn’t the same as ordering your _mate_ , boy! It’s not a good start to your bonding!” John glared and Nana sighed, suppressing a growl as she elaborated the thoughts behind her reasoning. “Sol sees you as an equal now. What happens if you take on her training and she starts seeing you as a teacher… or worse, a _superior?_ ” 

“I don’t want that,” John said quietly. “I… just want to stay with her. Is that so wrong?”

“Of course it’s not wrong,” Nana said quietly. “Just because it’s not a good idea for you to start her training, that’s not to say you can’t stay with your mate. Better if you do, actually- you’re likely to have a stabilizing effect on her emotions.” 

Sol blinked for a minute, then looked at Nana. “Is that why that weird sensation stops whenever he’s around?”

“That’s your bond talkin’ to ya, girl. For biotics, it can sometimes join their abilities.” Staring at their confused-looking faces, Nana ran a hand over her face. “Think of it as a rubber band stretchin’ between the two of you. The closer you are, the looser and more comfortable it is. The farther apart, the tighter it feels, like a noose around your neck.” 

“I like the idea of them being able to stay together,” Jane said firmly, looking over at John- she was no doubt remembering the time they’d been split up after he’d found his abilities. “No one wants another situation like John’s, Nana.” 

The asari nodded more to herself than them as she locked eyes with the girl. “It really comes down to two options at this point…” Nana began, looking down at the table. “The two of them could come back to Omega with me... “ 

“Fuck that,” John said, feeling his blood start to boil, then glanced over to his mother in law and swallowed. “Sorry, Yeloris,” he said sheepishly, rubbing his neck. “But I can’t go with that option. Jane needs us- we just tossed one of our top biotics in the loony bin- I’m not sending my sister up against that nutjob Saren without help, Nana.”

The asari held up a hand and shook her head at the protest. “Not my best idea either. I don’t want you tearin’ up my apartment. Now, the other choice… I come on board the Normandy for a while.”

The apartment went dead quiet at that, with John inwardly groaning and refusing to look over at his sister. He just _knew_ Jane’s face was twisted with rage, but he had no desire to be in the middle of this- his only hope was that Yeloris’s presence would be enough to temper his sister’s anger. 

“Pick another option,” Jane said calmly. “I’m not letting you on my ship, Natearus.” 

Nana glared at the younger woman for a moment. “Stubborn- I pray to the goddess it doesn’t come back and bite you in the ass, girl. There’s one last option, but I promise, you’d rather have me- we both know the girl is a nasty little varren when things aren’t done a certain way.”

“Lilfrey,” Jane muttered, glaring at the woman. “How’s that eye of hers, Nana?” 

“Her eye is fine, girl, no thanks to you. But the real question is… would you rather have her… or me on that bucket of yours?” Nana chuckled at the memory of that particular fight. “I can guarantee Solana is _not_ gonna like her all that much.”

John winced, remembering just how their last meeting with Lilfrey had gone. “Jane,” he said pleadingly, not wanting to get into this in front of his wife, “please, _please_ just let this go, for once? I really do _not_ want you, my wife, and Lilfrey on the ship together- that just sounds like we’re asking to be blown out of the sky. At that point, Saren won’t have to do anything- he can just sit back and watch us nuke ourselves.”

Jane growled, ignoring her husband rubbing her arm. “I _will_ shoot her,” she said pointedly. “If she comes into my ship and tries telling me how to run my ship, I don’t care who she is to you, John.” She turned, her grey eyes hard as she stared at the old asari. “Nana, I owe you, and I won’t pretend to act like I don’t- you’ve helped me and I won’t forget that. _But_ ... you are still on my shit list, old woman- you are there for Sol _only_.” His sister got up from the chair, an expression of disgust on her face. “Stay out of my way and do your job… if you can do that, then fine.” 

“Your ship, your rules… _Commander_.” Nana nodded and emphasized her rank with a nod. “I’ll train the girl- then we can see how well her mate’s skills complement hers.”

To his relief, Jane just nodded. “We leave in two days. Be at the Normandy at the time I say or we’re leaving without you.” She turned to Garrus, her shoulders stiff. “It’s getting late,” she said pointedly. “Do you mind if we head home- I’d like to get some sleep in a real bed for once.” 

  
“We’ll see you in the morning,” Garrus told the others, no doubt trying to figure out just how to defuse this powder keg he’d had no idea he was walking into. “Goodnight, mom...Nice seeing you again, Natearus.” 

Nana nodded with a faint hum, and Yeloris smiled at Garrus and Jane.“Good night, kids- try and get some rest.”

“Well,” John exclaimed as Jane and Garrus left out the door, letting his voice take on a false note of cheer that everyone knew was a front, “that was certainly an interesting dinner. Maybe we should all call it a night… since we’re apparently going to be travel buddies soon?”

“Agreed. Go… do somethin’ with your mate, boy. We’ll see you soon enough.” Nana waved them off and headed for the door. “I think we can see ourselves out, can’t we, Yeloris?”

The turian nodded, then leaned over and rested her forehead against Sol’s, then turned to John. “I entrust what I cherish most to you, John… spirits watch over you both and bless your union.” 

Feeling a lump in his throat, John nodded, resting a hand on Sol’s shoulder. “I will love her as long as she’ll have me, Yeloris. Thank you… for accepting this. It means a lot.”

The turian just gave a pleased-sounding rumble as she followed the asari to the door, smiling as the two of them left the apartment. 

_ _

* * *

As Garrus and Jane rode back in the skycar, he watched his mate carefully. He noticed that her whole body was tense and he sighed, gently rubbing her shoulders. “You need to get out of this uniform,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her neck. “I think you deserve to not be the commander for a little bit… don’t you?”

Jane nodded, leaning into his touch. “Can I just quit? Think they’d notice if I didn’t come back?” 

Garrus snorted. “Who are you and what have you done with my mate, because the Jane Shepard-Vakarian I know doesn’t quit… at _anything_.” As they arrived at their house, he extended his hand, helping her out of the car. “And I love her for it.” 

Jane sighed, taking his hand in hers. “Even when she fucks up, can’t keep her mouth shut, and loses every bit of her temper for something a sane person would just let go?” 

He smiled, letting his mandibles twitch with amusement as he pressed his lip plates to her brow. “Even then.” 

Without a word, Garrus scooped her up in his arms, making the woman yelp and throw her arms around his neck. “What are you doing?” Jane cried, laughing as he raced for the apartment. “Put me down, big guy!” 

“Not a chance,” he purred, enjoying the sound of her laughter and shrieks as they got into the elevator. “Commander Shepard is on shore leave… I’m perfectly within my rights to sweep my mate off her feet and drag her into our house for an unregulated shower together.” 

Jane let out a moan and closed her eyes, resting her head against his as they rode up. “That sounds amazing,” she breathed, her warm breath tickling his brow. “Just you and me, no timers or intercoms? That sounds heavenly.”

The elevator stopped and he headed toward their apartment, delighted at the thought that for the time being, he had complete freedom to do anything that might bring a smile to her face as he carried her inside, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief as the doors closed and the outside world was shut away. “Welcome home,” Garrus murmured, lightly nipping Jane’s neck. “Now it’s officially just you and me… what do you want to do, Jane?”

Instantly, Jane got that teasing grin on her face that he loved so much. “Hmmm,” she said, unbuttoning her uniform and tossing it to the floor. “I’m thinking… you.”

Garrus gave a pleased rumble as she made quick work of the rest of her uniform and strode over to him, deftly removing his shirt. _She’s too stressed, too tense,_ he thought, smiling as he ran his hands over her shoulders and shivering as she slid her hands down his chest. _Natearus was right..._ _I need to remind her that it’s ok to just be Jane every once in a while._


	53. The most important meal of the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the first day of shore leave, everyone has breakfast

_ _

* * *

When she woke up, Sol was unsure of where she was for a moment- the scenery was unfamiliar, there was no fur-covered animal sitting on her face, and the bed was soft and comfortable. But then, she heard a light snore and she sighed happily, turning to look at her mate sleeping soundly next to her. _It’s real,_ she thought, pressing her head to his and running her hand over his exposed back, humming with happiness as he sighed in his sleep and snuggled closer to her. _This is our house… we’re together._

And then, the euphoria from that thought led to the sobering realization that yes, her father, the man she loved, looked up to, and idolized, had indeed cast her out. _He hates me,_ Sol thought miserably, resting her head against John’s and trying her best not to start keening. _I got everything I ever wanted… but I lost my father in the process._

“What’s all the fuss about?” John asked sleepily, tightening his hands around her waist before pressing his lips to hers. “Got something you’re trying to tell me, Tiny?”

Despite her mood, Sol laughed, returning his kiss. “You’re horrible, Johnny- haven’t you had enough?” 

John just grinned, his grey eyes sparkling as he stared at her. “Never,” he replied, rubbing the back of her neck. “I have two nights completely alone with my wonderful wife, and I fully intend to enjoy them.” 

“Well, I intend to get breakfast,” Sol retorted as she slid out of his grasp and laughed at the man pouting at her from the bed. “Oh, don’t give me that look,” she replied as she pressed her lip plates to his head, “you know we have to eat, John!”

He wrapped his arms around her, causing her to let out a loud chirp as she tumbled back into the bed with him. “Order in,” he replied, pressing his lips to her bond-mark and running his tongue over the raised skin. “I, for one, am _exactly_ where I want to be right now.” 

Sol let out an involuntary moan, which only served to make John grin even more. As he slid his hands down her waist, Sol had to fight herself to keep her thoughts together. “Breakfast first,” she panted, trying not to focus on the sensation of his rough hands against her hide. “I’m starving, John!” 

That finally made him stop- his mouth dropped open in surprise, and he let out a curse. “Oh, shit, I completely forgot!” Instantly, he got out of the bed and reached for Sol. “I’m such a dick… I’m so sorry, Tiny.” 

Sol eyed him curiously, then took his hand. “Not that I’m complaining about you finally getting out of bed and feeding me, but what’s got you so worked up, Johnny? I’m not mad… I’m just really hungry, that’s all.” 

“You’re a biotic,” he said simply, guiding her to the bathroom and turning on the shower. “You’re going to be hungry a lot now- I know you hate the bars we have on the ship, but you might wanna carry a few with you wherever you go.” Sol sighed dejectedly as she sat on the toilet, watching as John frowned for a moment before his eyes lit up. “I know- we’ll go shopping today… we can pick up whatever you want. Might as well make it fun, right?” 

“Yeah,” Sol replied listlessly, her mood darkening by the minute. “I’m sure it’ll be fun, John- thanks for the idea.” 

The frown on his face returned even deeper than before and her mate gently took her face in his hands. “I know it’s hard, Tiny,” he said, pressing his head to hers. “He’ll come around…I mean, c’mon… there’s no way he can’t love this face- it’s perfect.” Sol chuckled and tried to look away, but he held her tight and brought her to her feet. “And if he doesn’t get a brain in his head,” he said firmly, “then fuck him- you’ve got a mom who loves you, a brother who’s so protective of you it’s insane, and a sister who would commit murder for you.” He guided her into the shower, letting the warm water cascade over her plates as he held her close, “and let’s not forget… you’ve got a husband who’s head over heels in love with you, Tiny.”

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered, watching in fascination as the water plastered his hair to his head, turning the brown so dark it was almost black. “I don’t have a home anymore, John. If I’m not on Palaven, I won’t have a job, I won’t have credits, I’ll be-” 

“You’ll be here with your husband,” John interrupted, wrapping his arms around her. “In your apartment, which I feel I should remind you, you’re standing in right now. You’ll find a job, and you’ll do whatever you want to… because you’re _amazing_ ,” he said firmly, then wiped his wet hair out of his face. “Now, can we put all this defeatist talk on hold so we can enjoy our first shower together and get you something to eat, Tiny?” 

Sol finally allowed a small smile to creep across her face. “Is showering together really that much fun?”

“Tiny,” John said, grabbing her brush and brandishing it in his hand with a grin, “after experiencing this, I guarantee you are gonna be _so_ pissed when we have to get back on that ship.” 

“I’m not going to take your word for it, Johnny,” Sol murmured, letting her wet hands slide down the soft lines of his body. “I think I’m going to need you to show me.” 

_ _

* * *

Nihlus was in his room, enjoying the peace and quiet. With almost everyone gone, the ship had been blessedly silent, and the spectre was not entirely upset that he couldn’t leave the ship. Admittedly, he would prefer to go out for a nice meal, but he wasn’t too offended by his confinement- the lack of drama from the twins and the space to breathe for a minute was a mini-vacation he was more than happy to accept. _If I were used to having friends, this might be lonely,_ he mused, staring at his ceiling. _But that’s a story for another time._

He was reading the morning news on a datapad when he heard a soft knock at his door. Startled by the interruption and wondering if something was wrong, he jerked his head up. “Come in.” 

His mandibles fluttered with surprise when he saw Ash standing in the doorway, clad in a t-shirt and jeans, her hair damp and loose as it brushed against her shoulders. “Hey, Nih,” she said, clutching a bag in her hands. “Aren’t you bored being all cooped up in here?”

Nihlus shrugged. “It’s necessary,” he said simply, then the scent of gammok eggs and kava wafted up to his nostrils. “Ash… what is that in your bag?” 

Ash blushed and lowered her head, then brushed a hair out of her face. “I got up early this morning,” she replied. “You kinda drilled it into my head to be up before the goddamn sunrise, so…” She extended the bag to him, then smiled. “I asked around about what a good turian breakfast was- figured since everyone else was going out to eat, you should at least have something decent.” She jerked her head toward the hallway and crossed her legs as she leaned against the doorframe. “I started your turian coffee… I just thought you might want to join me for breakfast on the observation deck… At least we could see outside the ship a little, right?” 

He felt the sides of his neck start to flush as he opened the bag, inhaling the delicious aromas inside. “Ash, you didn’t have to do this,” he said honestly, staring at the woman in the doorway. “This is your shore leave… you should be out enjoying yourself, not hanging around and being cooped up on this ship with me.”

It was her turn to shrug, and Nihlus could see the flush creeping up into her cheeks. “It’s not that big of a deal,” she said huskily. “I mean, I was already up, and I know I’m sick as hell of ship food, so I know you had to be-”

Unable to stop himself, he set the bag on the bed and crossed the room in what felt like a single stride, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips to hers. She gasped for a second, then kissed him back, draping her arms around the back of his neck and letting her eyes dart across his face. “Not that I’m complaining,” she said, pressing her lips to his and shivering as he pulled her against him, “but what’s all this for?” 

He rested his head against hers, letting a happy rumble escape his throat as he felt the smoothness of her head against his brow plates. “Thank you,” he murmured, lightly nipping the side of her neck and feeling the sensation of his plates shifting as she relaxed into him. “This was very nice of you, Ash… I appreciate it.” 

“Look, it wasn’t a big deal,” she replied, looking away from him. “I mean, you gotta eat too, right? I mean, the drawer’s still locked for me, so it’s not like I can cook you something.”

He paused for a second then laughed, kissing her again and rumbling happily as she kissed him back. “So… you’d cook for me, hmm?” 

“Don’t go getting a big head about it,” Ash grumbled, swatting him away playfully. When Nihlus just chuckled, she gently shoved him off her. “C’mon- your food is getting cold,” she said, staring at her feet. “Let’s go check on that coffee and have a seat upstairs- might as well do some people-watching, right?” 

“Right,” Nihlus replied, grabbing the bag and heading for the doorway. Even though he knew she couldn’t understand it, he took a deep breath, desperate to calm his sub-vocals and feeling extremely glad that there were no turians left on this ship. “It’s time to head out of here.”

“What are you saying?” Ash asked, tentatively lacing her hand in his as they walked through the empty halls of the ship. “You’ve been real rumbly this morning- what’s on that mind of yours, Nih?” 

“It’s not important,” he replied, squeezing her hand and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s just go and enjoy our breakfast together.” 

_ _

* * *

Garrus yawned, stretching out in his wonderfully comfortable bed. _I’ve missed this,_ he thought, then stared over at the naked woman snoring lightly next to him. _But I wouldn't trade a minute I’ve spent with her, either._

Jane’s long, dark hair was splayed out over the pillow, cascading over her shoulders in messy waves. She’d said she was going to cut it all off, but he’d balked and pouted so much that she’d acquiesced, saying that she’d compromise and just trim it a little. He did miss her shorter, blue hair, but he also found that he loved twirling the long and shiny strands around his fingers. _She’s always changing_ , he thought, pressing his head to hers as she slept, _but yet she loves me just the same._

Realizing that his mate was going to be awake soon and quite peeved when she remembered that there was nothing to eat in the apartment, Garrus slid quietly out of the bed and got dressed. While Jane was always up early on the ship, it was usually at his behest- now that she wasn’t being troubled by nightmares at every turn, she tended to enjoy quiet mornings in bed, only getting groggily to her feet when she caught the scent of freshly brewed coffee. _I’ll run to the market and pick up something,_ he thought, brushing her hair out of her face and chuckling softly as she murmured and sleepily snuggled into his touch. _We could both use a nice breakfast this morning_. 

Before he left, Garrus checked his omni-tool for messages, then rumbled softly to himself as he read the message from his mother.

_Garrus,_

_You and the little one deserve some time to yourselves- I know it’s been a rather trying time out there for you both. I hope you don’t mind, but I went to the store and got a few items. I'm not sure about the levo food, but the shopkeeper said that humans like to eat these things, so I hope they’re okay._

_Spirits love and keep you,_

_Mom_

Sure enough, there were eggs, strips of seasoned vorsin along with gammok eggs, and what Jane called bacon in the fridge, and bags of kava and coffee sitting on the counter. _Well, you can tell we didn’t make it into the kitchen last night,_ he thought with a smile, getting the food out of the fridge and starting their drinks. He looked at the bacon and sighed- Jane had shown him how to cook it, but he hated the stuff. Every time he did, the food fought back- if he didn’t pay attention, the strips would send droplets of hot oil onto his plates. _She’s lucky I adore her_ , he thought as he prepared the pan and steeled himself against the food’s upcoming onslaught. _Spirits know I wouldn’t do this for anyone else._

As he cooked, he realized he should call and thank his mother for her kindness, knowing that she’d have been wide awake for hours by now- his mother was a notoriously early riser, even earlier than his father (which was hard to do). As a child, Garrus used to force himself to get up at sunrise, eager to spend a few moments alone with his mother while she cooked breakfast. He cherished that time with her, savoring those moments when the house was quiet and still- the only sounds would be her soft hums as she worked, gently showing him just how to prepare something or nuzzling him softly as he made a mess of things. _I miss those days_ , he thought, entering the code for his mother.

“Hello, sleepyhead,” Yeloris said, smiling at him from the screen, then looking around at the kitchen behind him. “Where is the little one?” 

He chuckled, trying to stop the offending bacon from attacking him. “It’s too early for Jane to be awake… I was just about to go out and get breakfast when I read your message.”

His mother chuckled, lightly shaking her head. “Just like your father… can’t leave the house without checking your messages first.” 

“In this case, it’s a good thing I did,” he replied, then let out a rumble as his thoughts turned back to the angry turian male. “Has he come to his senses yet?”

“I’m afraid not,” Yeloris replied with a sigh, her mandibles twitching with irritation. “That father of yours is being stubborn and pig-headed about this.”  
  
“That’s how he always is,” Garrus said irritably, removing Jane’s breakfast from the pan. “Never wants to admit he’s wrong or that there’s another option… has to be his way or nothing at all.”

“John is good for Sol,” his mother said firmly, watching him closely. “He treats her as an equal, not a fledgling and she needs that- as long as he loves and honors my daughter, his species is irrelevant to me.”

“As much as he annoys me… I have to agree.” Garrus sighed, taking a bite out of one of the pastries his mother had sent him. “John is dedicated to anyone he considers family… he’ll take care of Sol.” 

“Sol can take care of herself,” Yeloris said patiently. “The bigger question is, will he love her?”

“He already does,” Garrus admitted, leaning against the counter. “No matter what my thoughts on the matter are, John is her mate and he knows what that means- he’s willing to honor it.” 

“Then he is family,” she replied, her gaze firm. “Castis will come around… I just fear that the damage he’s doing in the meantime might be irreparable.”  
  
“You have a lot of faith in him,” Garrus grumbled. “He hasn’t accepted Jane yet and he _still_ isn’t speaking to me. Plus, John has publicly humiliated him twice now- he’s not likely to forget that and you know it.”

“I am aware,” Yeloris said quietly. “But you do know that no matter what your father may do or say, both of my children will always have my love, and I am honored to include both of your mates into our family.” 

“I know,” Garrus replied, smiling at the woman on the screen that had always made him feel like he could do anything he tried. “That means everything to me… and I am sure that Sol needs that right now.” 

_ _

* * *

Sol paced around the apartment, looking at John nervously. “You really don’t think I should call him?” 

He sighed, leaning back against the couch. “Look… that’s your dad, Tiny. I’m not going to pretend that I know what’s best in a situation like this… because I don’t. If you think it’s going to make you feel better to talk to him, then do it, and if you don’t, that’s okay too. I want you to do whatever is going to make you have some peace of mind- that’s all.” 

The turian let out an irritated huff. “That’s not helpful, Johnny!”

Her mate just shrugged, getting up and kissing her on the cheek. “Not my job to make decisions for you… I’m just here to support you when you do it.” Sol glared at him, but he just smiled, pulling her in and resting his head against hers. “We both know you’re going to call him,” John whispered, earning an irritated hum from her. “Do you need me here while you do it?”

Sol sighed as she hummed nervously, thinking over his offer for a moment. “No,” she said dejectedly. “I’m a big girl… I can handle this on my own.” 

“I’m just heading to the store,” he replied, pressing his lips to her brow, then frowning as his omni-tool went off. “Do you need anything?” 

“No,” Sol said distractedly, only half paying attention. “I’m fine, Johnny.”  
  
John just shook his head. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he promised. “Just… if it doesn’t go how you expect, just try not to take anything he says too hard, ok?”

She waved him away, barely noticing the door close behind him as she dialed her father. Her voice shaky, she gazed at her screen, wincing when the stern-looking face of her father came into view. Sol waited for a second, hoping he would greet her, but when he just stared at her with cold indifference, she swallowed. “Hi, Daddy,” Sol chirped nervously. “Can I talk to you?” 

Castis just stared at her, his expression unwavering. “Are you ready to stop this foolishness and come home?” 

“What?” Sol blinked, trying to figure out what he meant. “I’m a medic on the ship, Daddy- I can’t just-” 

“Are you _done_ ,” he hissed, his eyes hard and cold, “making a _mockery_ of our family by cavorting with that insolent human! I will not have my daughter degrading herself by being some human’s whore!” 

Shocked, Sol let out a surprised chirp, staring at her father in disbelief. “I’m his mate, Daddy,” she said firmly. “John loves me-”

“Then I have nothing more to say to you,” he snapped, causing a keen to well up in her throat. “You are a disgrace to the Vakarian name, Solana.”

“Daddy, please don’t do this!” Sol wailed, feeling like her heart was breaking. “I have always done everything you wanted! I have never been anything less than the perfect daughter for you- please, just let me have this one thing for myself!” She stared at him, wishing that he could just see how wrong he was- how could he, the man who’d always stood by her side, turn her away? “Why are you doing this to me?” 

“Because I expected more from you!” Castis roared, his mandibles flaring with rage. “You are better than this, Solana! No daughter of mine would dare disrespect me in such an egregious way!”

His words hit her like bricks, making that keen burst free and tear at her chest. “I can love you both,” she said quietly, staring at her father in resignation. “There’s no reason why I have to choose, Daddy.”  
  
“Then it seems you’ve made your choice,” Castis replied stiffly, staring at her and shaking his head. “I only wish it had been the right one,” he said softly, disconnecting the call and leaving Sol to lean against the wall and wish she was human- right now, all she wanted to do was cry. 


	54. You Make Me Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castis has drinks with a friend; Nihlus messes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note- NSFW content in Nihlus's section. Feel free to skip to Jane's if you want- you'll get the gist of what's going on from there.

_ _

* * *

Castis stared at his drink, swirling the deep-red liquid around in the glass. _How did this go so wrong_ , he thought morosely, his sub-vocals rumbling so loud that the bartender was giving him a wide berth. _What can I do to fix this? How do I get her to see reason?_

“You know, the last time I checked, I wasn’t assigned to be your guard, old friend,” a raspy voice said from behind him. “I’m starting to wonder if I need to start saying no to that wife of yours, Vakarian.” 

He looked up, staring into the face of General Artalius Caelrian- the old turian was staring at him, his brown eyes roaming over Castis and frowning as he alighted on the glass in his hand. “A bit early for horosk, don’t you think?”

Castis just glared at his friend, then spitefully knocked back half of his glass at once. “What do you propose one consumes at a time like this, Caelrian?”

“You’re lucky I consider it in bad taste to let a friend drink alone,” he replied, sliding into the seat next to him and ordering a glass of his own. “And I’d think you’d be drinking in celebration… didn’t I hear that your daughter finally got mated?” 

“Hence why I’m drinking,” Castis muttered, staring at his glass. “My lineage is dead,” he muttered. “As of today, the Vakarian line is no more.” He held up his cup, toasting to the air despondently. “Our once proud clan is now in ruins… fitting that my day should end that way as well.” 

Caelrian just looked at him. “I think you’re being dramatic, old friend,” he said, sipping his drink. “Yeloris said-”

“Ye is _wrong_ ,” Castis snapped, then trilled uncomfortably. “My mate… she just doesn’t understand,” he said bitterly, staring at the door. “Yeloris was an analyst, not a soldier! She didn’t see the devastation they wrought with their foolish stumblings- and to have my children… not only mating with… but _bonded_ to humans…” He huffed irritably as he finished his drink, signaling to the bartender for another, then rested his head on the bar. “I’ve _failed_ , Artalius. Everything we fought for… _ruined…_ just like that.” As the bartender set the glass in front of him, Castis grabbed it without even lifting his head. “My Sol,” he mused, staring at the drink. “My little star…” 

“She’s not _dead_ , you leathery old bastard,” his friend chided, reaching for the drink in front of Castis- when Castis growled, the general laughed and removed his hand. “She’s not a fledgling anymore, Castis- she’s allowed to make her own choices.” 

“But it’s the _wrong_ one!” Castis howled, slamming the glass on the counter and spilling some of the crimson liquid onto the bar. “She’s _choosing_ a life of strife and rejection and you know it! Humans are fickle- he’s going to leave her the first time one of those females flips her fringe at him, and then what? What does she do then!”

“From where I’m sitting, the only one who’s left her is you,” Caelrian said quietly, sipping his drink. “I heard Sol was biotic,” he murmured, careful to keep his voice low. “You were going to send her away, weren’t you?”

“I would’ve been bound to!” Castis hummed dejectedly, staring at his hands. “Did you know she wasn’t even a biotic until she met that human? Had she left him alone, this would’ve been avoided!” 

“Sometimes the old ways aren’t the best ways, Vakarian,” the general replied. “And I may be old, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how these things work- I don't think humans can infect us with biotics, old friend.” 

“I no longer have to listen to you,” Castis grumbled, feeling his head starting to pound. “We’re not on the battlefield anymore, General.” 

“And yet, you still do,” the older turian replied, shaking his head. “You don’t know how to handle anything that’s not an order, do you?” Castis grumbled at his friend, who just shook his head. “Do you know why I never promoted you, Vakarian?” 

“I always assumed it was because you feared me upstaging you,” he muttered, gingerly sitting up and taking a sip of his drink. “I was the best shot you had in the squadron, and I followed every order without question- there was no other reason… none that I could see, anyway.”

“Because you see everything in black and white,” the General replied, fixing him with a concerned stare. “You freeze when presented with something new... you become unsure how to proceed. But that wife of yours... she thinks around every corner, looking for loopholes- she’s got the mind of a varren." The general chuckled, ignoring the grumbles coming from his throat. "She goes digging in every crevice, looking for new and shiny things to explore, but you, my boy, dig your spurs into the safest point you can find… and sometimes, that’s not the right way.” 

“There’s honor in that,” Castis groused, glaring at his old commanding officer. “There’s bravery in accepting the inevitable and facing it with dignity.” 

“One might also call that stupidity,” the general chided gently, staring patiently at Castis. “You’d drown the entire unit instead of searching for a way around the river.” 

“I would _not_ ,” Castis grumbled. “I just recognize orders are there for a reason- as turians, it is our duty, our _code_ , to serve without question- all things come for a purpose, even if it’s unclear to us at the time.” 

“So your purpose is to be a bitter old man, alone and hated by his children because he’s unwilling to accept something that’s a little different than what he’d been told?” Caelrian stared at him, his gaze unwavering. “What kind of purpose could that possibly serve? What kind of life would that be?” 

“Easy for you to say,” Castis mumbled, resting his aching head against the cool marble of the bar. “Your daughter is obedient- she knows what’s best for her clan. Your son has a proud and beautiful mate- your lines will continue on, be marked throughout history. We… we will be forgotten,” he said sadly. “All our explorations, all our achievements, our legacies… _gone_.” 

The general smiled for a moment, then leaned over and tapped the younger turian’s leg. “Get that spur out of the ground, son,” he said, his sub-vocals rumbling kindly. “The future isn’t set in stone, Castis- your chicks are still writing their history.” Castis flared his mandibles, but the older turian just smiled. “I’ve met your son’s mate- she reminds me of Ye when you first met her, Vakarian… you need to start looking past the outside and get to _know_ them,” he said firmly, resting a strong arm on his shoulder. “And if you’re so worried about the humans casting your chicks aside… don’t you think they’re going to need their father by their side to help them if they do?”

_ _

* * *

Nihlus sat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. _Am I really going to do this? Is it worth it? Why am I even considering this?_

He started to back out, but then he remembered the sight of Ash standing in his doorway, looking completely relaxed. He remembered the way she looked- even now, he could see the curve of her breasts standing out against the form-fitting shirt and feel the rough texture of her pants as they clung to her hips, showing the sliver of her waist as she reached up on the shelf to get down their cups. It had been the most enjoyable meal he'd had in quite some time- alone on the quiet ship, she’d rested against him as they ate on the observation deck, talking and laughing with him as they watched the people go through the station. 

_You should go and have fun,_ he had told her, running his tongue down the side of her neck, feeling her pulse thudding against his tongue, and feeling his plates shift as he indulged himself with the taste of her skin. _There’s no need for you to stay cooped up on this ship with me._

She’d protested, but he insisted- there was no reason for her to spend an admittedly precious shore leave stuck on the ship with him. When he pressed her a bit further, the woman had leaned against him, sighing and saying there was really no need to leave- it wasn’t like she had anything to do or anyone to go and see out there.

Trying to suppress that pleased-sounding rumble in his chest, Nihlus turned her around, sliding his hands up the back of her shirt. _I want you_ , he told her, guiding her over to let her hands rest on the back of the bench. _I need to have you_. 

_Here?_ Ash had asked, her skin heating up beneath his touch. _What if someone sees?_

 _Then they see_ , he replied, rolling his hips against her ass. When she didn’t protest again, he deftly started unbuttoning her pants, the scent of her sending his plates apart as he slid the fabric down her legs. _You aren’t wearing a bra_ , he murmured, moving his hand up the front of her shirt and making her arch into his touch as he lightly squeezed her breast. _Good_.

 _You told me not to,_ she panted, gasping as he traced his finger between her legs. _Figured I’d save myself a pair of underwear, too._

 _So you were hoping I’d take you,_ he purred, stroking her with one hand and unbuckling his pants with the other. He dug his talons into her exposed ass, groaning as she gasped and squeezed his waist, making him spring free. _Use your words,_ he said, nipping her neck. _Where do you want me, Ash?_

 _Inside me,_ she moaned, gasping as he plunged into her. Her warmth and tightness made him growl with pleasure as he took her quickly, snapping his hips against her ass with a fervor that surprised him. When she dipped her hand between her legs, he nipped her sharply and pulled her against him, becoming very aware of the possessiveness creeping into his sub-vocals. _That’s my job,_ he said in her ear, moving one of his hands to stroke her as he thrust in and out, feeling her shudder under his touch. _I want to be the one to make you cum._

And when he felt her body grip him during the throes of her climax, Nihlus had to turn his head to the ceiling, his hands clutching her waist tightly to avoid doing something he knew he might regret. _Spirits_ , he thought, collapsing against her back and tilting her face to his, _I have to stop this… it’s getting a bit too serious now._

 _You should go out,_ he said, reluctantly pulling himself away from her, sliding his hands over her flushed skin once more. _There’s no need for you to stay inside with me._

Ash balked, turning over and adjusting her pants. _I’_ _m pretty sure there’s a few things we can do inside together._

 _Go,_ Nihlus told her, pressing his head to hers and sighing. _Have fun… come find me and tell me all about it when you get back._

She narrowed her eyes at him, slowly adjusting her shirt. What if I find someone who wants to take me out to a nice dinner?

He had to fight the urge to snap at her statement, tampering down the growl in his throat. _I’d prefer it if you didn’t_.

That same defiance that both turned him on and infuriated him crossed her face. _Why not? You aren’t going to do it, right? We’re just fucking, right?_

He just stared at her for a moment, unsure as to what he should say right then. His mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out- all the words just seemed to evaporate from his head under her heated stare. _I-_ After a few moments of his stammering, Nihlus watched with horror as Ash's eyes went cold and her posture stiffened. _You know what- just forget it,_ she snapped, shoving him off her. _I’ll talk to you later. We’re not stressed right now, so it doesn’t matter, right?_

Nihlus winced at the memory, the scene still fresh in his head as he lay in his bunk. Hours had passed and Ash hadn’t returned, making him feel lonelier than he’d felt in ages. _You’ve screwed up,_ he told himself, his fingers hovering over the screen. _You need to make this right._

Taking a deep breath, he tapped out a message.

_NKryik: I’m sorry_

He waited for a moment, the silence in the room ringing in his ears. _Please respond_ , he thought, staring at the screen. _I need to talk to you, Ash._ When still no response appeared, he felt his pulse begin to race. 

_NKryik: I fucked up. Please talk to me, Ash._

Finally, the sound of a message came through- but as he read it, he felt his heart sink into his stomach. 

_AWilliams: I’m busy. I’m on leave for the next day… any assignments can wait until my return._

Nihlus groaned, knowing that this was his fault- true, the woman could be irrational, but in this instance, her behavior was warranted. 

_NKryik: Ash, I’m sorry... you deserved an answer, and I didn’t give you one. Please, come back so I can talk to you… I don’t want to do this over a message._

_AWilliams: Spectre Kryik, I'm sure that this can wait until after my leave and I return to the Normandy._

His pulse racing, he took a deep breath as he sent another message, hoping that she wouldn’t just ignore him.

_NKryik: I’m so sorry about how this happened, Ash. Please… let me make it up to you… I’d like to take you out… if you’ll let me._

_AWilliams: I'm sorry- requisition requests and anything else you need can be handled by someone else until my return._

He banged his head against the wall, growling in frustration. _She’s going to make this difficult_ , he groaned, his fingers hovering over the keys. 

_NKryik: Ashley… I have made a mistake. I was not clear about what I wanted, and that is my fault. I’d like to escort you to dinner… you deserve to be taken out and made to feel special, Ash… allow me do that for you, please._

The sides of his neck were on fire, and he was glad that there was no one else on the ship with him to witness his embarrassment. _Why isn’t she responding,_ he thought, looking over his tool every few seconds, wondering if the connection had dropped. _Spirits, this woman is going to drive me insane._

Just as he was about to go and look for another terminal, a soft ping came through.

_AWilliams: This isn’t funny, Nihlus. Don’t do this._

He blinked at the screen, trying to figure out what she was talking about. He re-read his last message, trying to figure out just what she could be referring to, but he came up empty. 

_NKryik: I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, Ash. Was something in my last message unclear?_

_AWilliams: You don’t get to walk this back, Kryik. If you go forward, you stay forward. If not, leave this alone… now._

_AWilliams: I’m mad… but I’ll get over it. You don’t have to do this to make me feel better, honest._

Nihlus sighed, staring at the screen. _This is your fault,_ he thought, rubbing his face. _You told her you didn’t want her- she’s only listening to what you told her._

 _NKryik: I know what I’m asking you, Ash._

There was a long pause, then finally a message came through. 

_AWilliams: I thought you were too busy playing dead to go outside, Nih._

Relieved, he blew out a breath, letting his mandibles flutter with relief and frantically making plans in his head. _There’s a chance._

_NKryik: I believe you’re worth the risk, Ash._

_ _

* * *

Jane was sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee and reading when she got a ping on her omni-tool. “That’s strange,” she mused, glancing at the caller, “I wonder what he wants?”  
  
“Is the ship under attack?” Garrus asked, watching her over the rim of his own cup, his eyes alight with amusement. “If it’s not… then don’t answer that.” 

Jane rolled her eyes playfully at her husband, getting up to put her now-empty cup in the sink. “It’s Nih,” she retorted, answering the call. “He wouldn’t call me unless it was important.”

“My statement still stands,” Garrus said dryly, sipping the last of his drink. “I’m quite sure Kryik can survive without my mate for a few days.”

“Jealous,” she hissed, then turned back to the screen, grateful she’d thrown on one of his shirts. “Sorry, my husband is an ass,” she replied, staring at the turian on the screen. “What’s going on, Nih? Is everything ok?”

“Perfectly fine,” he replied, then cleared his throat, glancing around his room. “Um… may I ask you a question, Jane?” 

“Course,” she replied, leaning against the counter. “What’s on your mind?”

He sighed, then nervously flicked his mandibles. “Two things, actually. One- how good is your bio-trace program?” 

“Fucking flawless,” she replied, frowning at her friend. “Why?”

“Good enough to hide a dead spectre?” Nihlus asked, the expression in his green eyes giving nothing away. “Ego aside, Jane- do you think you can do it?” 

She rolled her eyes and moved the call to the main terminal, taking a few moments to load the program on her omni-tool. As he watched, Jane let her fingers fly over the tool. “Done. You are now Maxitus Regitis, with access to all the credits in your accounts at the time of your ‘death’. Have fun, just don’t go multiplying- the birth records would be a mess, Nih.” 

Nihlus just stared at her, his face going completely slack. “You know,” he said flatly, “you’re just as bad as your brother sometimes.”

“Who do you think I get it from?” Jane asked, a smug-looking grin on her face. “Anyway, that’s item one- what’s the second thing?” 

“Where do humans like to go for dinner?” Nihlus asked, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “I know what you might eat, but as far as where… I’m not exactly sure where the best places are to go.” 

“Depends… are you trying to take someone on a date?” From behind her, Jane could hear Garrus snickering, and she shot her husband a dirty look. “Maybe a certain pain in my ass that I could’ve sworn I saw you ‘comforting’ the other day?” 

“This is why I don’t talk to you,” Nihlus groused, glaring at her from the screen. “It was a simple question, Jane.” 

She sighed, then put her hand on her hip. “Ashley likes going out- she never gets the chance to dress up because she’s got that stick so far up her ass it’ll snag anything in its way. But, if you want to be bothered with it, then be my guest- she’d appreciate the chance to pretend she's not a demon for an evening.” 

The turian shifted uncomfortably. “Would… would there be any way you and Vakarian might want to join me?” 

Jane stared at him, her jaw hanging open in shock. “Um... I was just kidding about the Ash thing, Nih… don’t tell me you’re serious?”

“If you don’t want to go, all you have to do is say so,” he snapped. “Forgive me for trying to be nice- I was just trying to set up an evening out in order to get us all away from the stresses of the ship!”

She started to snap off a snarky reply, but Jane could see that her friend was clearly embarrassed. “As long as you can keep her in check, then fine… we aren’t doing anything tonight. Look,” she said wearily. “Here’s what you do- call Apollos, set up a reservation for us. After that, if I hate you all after dinner, Garrus and I can call it a night while you two go get piss drunk and make out- how’s that sound?”

“I disagree with your insinuations,” Nihlus said stiffly, looking oddly relieved, “but thank you… I’ll message you with the details.” 

“Cool,” Jane replied, her grin a mile wide. “I’m looking forward to this.” 

And as she terminated the call and turned to her dumbfounded husband, Jane realized that she actually was excited about the upcoming evening… and promptly decided to message her brother about it. 

_The reservation system is easy enough to modify,_ she thought, tapping her finger on her omni-tool and waiting impatiently for Kyrik to cement their plans. _What's two more people for dinner, anyway?_


	55. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night, Shepard Twin style.

_ _

* * *

Nihlus was becoming painfully aware of the fact that he hadn’t been on a date in a while. Sure, he’d had quite a few dalliances with others, but they were usually random, occurrences of chance that occurred when he was out and about, or impromptu sessions to blow off steam. None ever lasted more than one night, as he made it a point to not sleep with the same partner twice. _Stops the confusion_ , he’d told himself. _No feelings, no expectations_.  
  
But now, standing in his room and looking over at his cluttered bed as he adjusted his shirt, he sighed. _This is stupid_ , he thought irritably, scooping up the items and heading down to Ash’s room. _There’s no way this is a good idea_. 

But, one thing he’d always prided himself on was the fact that he was not, and never had been, a quitter. However, this wasn’t to say he was fearless- rather, his modus operandi was usually to never start things he was nervous about in the first place, and he'd grown quite comfortable with that. _Oh well_ , he thought, dragging his feet down the hall, _too late to turn back now_.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on Ash's door, waiting for a moment for her to open it. As he stood in the hall, he shifted nervously from foot to foot, trying to convince himself not to run the other way and hop on the nearest shuttle to Omega. _You’ve faced down charging krogan, geth, asari justicars, and almost died at the hands of your mentor, Kryik- you can handle a date with a human female_. 

Just as he was about to give up, the door slid open and he turned around, almost dropping the items in his hand. “You… you look amazing,” Nihlus stammered, his eyes roaming up and down. “I didn’t know you could look so nice.” 

Ash just frowned. Her hair was pinned behind one ear and resting on one shoulder, and she was wearing a form-fitting white dress, with small cutouts at the waist that exposed delicious slivers of her skin. The fabric only had one strap that barely covered her shoulder, and he found himself suppressing a slight growl. _My mark could go right there_ , he thought, then shook his head, desperate to clear those images from his mind’s eye. The fabric barely stopped below her ass, showing legs that he’d only seen when they were in bed together. _No one else needs to see this_ , he growled, wanting to take her into her room and dive into her right then. _This should be for me_. When he didn't say anything, Ash cleared her throat. “That’s not a compliment, Kryik.” 

Wincing at the use of his last name, Nihlus sighed and hung his head. “I apologize… I only meant you look wonderful, Ash- I’m honored to be escorting you out this evening.” Then he looked her over, cocking his head. “Somehow, you seem taller tonight.” 

The laugh that escaped her lips was loud and surprised, and she brought a hand to her painted pink lips. “They're called heels,” she said, extending a leg out to him. He immediately had to fight the urge to run his hand along the smooth and glowing skin. “They make you taller.”

“I like them,” he purred, leaning in and hoping she wouldn’t rebuff his kiss. When she didn’t pull away, he sighed, resting his head against hers. “Thank you,” he whispered, looping an arm around her. “I’m happy you decided to come with me tonight.” 

Ash didn’t say anything- she just looked over at the items in his hand, then cocked a crisp-looking eyebrow at him. “Are these for me?”

Startled, Nihlus jumped, his mandibles twitching nervously as he stepped back, handing her the flower and the candy. “I remembered your book,” he said quickly, handing her the lily. “The florist said this was the flower that poet of yours was talking about… I thought you might want it.”

She smiled, then opened the tiny box. “And the candy?” 

Nihlus shrugged uncomfortably. “They have alcohol in them,” he said simply. “I figured that would be something you’d appreciate.” He rubbed his neck, then adjusted his shirt. “They’re a new blend,” he said quickly. “Levo and Dextro safe… I figured better to be safe than sorry, so if they don’t taste as good as your normal ones-”

She opened the box, popping one of the candies into her mouth, closing her eyes. Instantly, he could smell the scent of alcohol when she bit into the center. “You tell me,” she replied, pulling him close and pressing her lips to his, sending half of the chocolate into his mouth with her tongue. “How’s it taste?”

“Perfect,” he replied, barely noticing the candy as he stared at her. “Absolutely perfect.” When she smiled, he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on hers. “I almost don’t want to leave,” he whispered, his sub-vocals rolling over her. “Care to stay in tonight?”

“Not a chance, Kryik,” Ash replied, pushing him lightly in the chest and breaking their embrace. “I’m going to go set these down and get my coat… then we can go.” 

When she turned around to head back inside, Nihlus almost choked. The dress barely stopped just below the cheeks of her ass, and when she bent over to set the chocolates on the counter, he could see the sliver of what she’d called a thong peeking out. Unable to resist, he crossed the room, running his hand along the curve of her cheeks and pressing his face to her neck. “I think we need to save this dress for when it’s just us,” he rumbled, sliding his hands across her waist. “I don’t know how I feel about sharing this with everyone.” 

Ash just raised an eyebrow, taking advantage of the ensuing stutter to grab a long, dark coat, shrugging into the fabric and pressing her lips to his before he could speak. “I like this look on you,” she said quietly, gesturing to his outfit before tracing the markings on his face with her fingers. “Thanks for doing all this, Nihlus- you really didn’t have to go through all this trouble.” 

“I wanted to,” he replied honestly, his sub-vocals rumbling so loud that she scrunched her brow in concentration. “We should go… we’ve got dinner reservations.” 

“What are you saying?” She asked, reaching up to place a hand on his cheek and staring at him. “I _know_ you’re saying something, Nih- I hear you do this when I piss you off, so I know it’s like you muttering under your breath. Care to share with the human?”

He sighed, pressing his head to hers. “That I’m happy,” he admitted, running a hand over her cheek and kissing her deeply, watching as she arched her body into his. “And that you make me happy, Ash.” 

“Oh,” she said, her cheeks darkening a little, making her painted eyes stand out even more. “I’m still mad,” she warned, waving a finger in his face and laughing as he bent his head and ran his tongue over it, “but… I’m happy too,” she replied, resting her hands on his waist and making him hum with pleasure. “Now come on,” she said, taking a deep breath and grabbing his hand, “I’m looking forward to having a nice dinner with you.” 

And as she led him down the hall, Nihlus felt like he was floating, ignoring the telltale voice in the back of his head that warned him he was dangerously close to lying about what his rumbles meant. 

_ _

* * *

Garrus was sitting at the table, nursing his drink while Jane sat in her seat, craning her neck and watching the door with absolute glee. “You know this isn’t going to go well,” he intoned dryly, sipping his drink and staring at her over the glass. “You’ve set off a bomb, Jane- this is going to end in chaos and death, and it’s going to be all your fault.” 

“But it’s going to be so much _fun_ in the meantime,” she purred, resting her head on her hands. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for an opportunity like this? This is like peak prank levels, and the universe just gave it to me on a silver platter, big guy- there was no way I could let a chance like this pass me by?” She settled back in her chair, crossing her arms. “He asked us on a double date, Garrus… us… with _him…_ and _Ash_! How could I not use this to my advantage!”

“I don’t know,” he said casually, glancing around the restaurant and waiting for the carnage to ensue, “maybe you could… you know, _not_ torture the spectre you insist on calling your friend? And maybe, you might consider not embarrassing my _sister_ with your wicked ways?” 

She paused, staring at him. "She was fine at brunch,” Jane said, glancing over at the bottle of dextro wine sitting next to her. “I mean, yeah, she was pretty tipsy, but I'd have thought it would've gotten better since then.”

Garrus frowned. He thought about taking the wine and sending it back, but then he debated the merits of downing the bottle himself. “What happened?” 

She sighed, then stared at her glass. “She called your dad,” Jane admitted, watching as his eyes rolled back in his head and he stood up from his chair. “Wait...what are you doing?”  
  
“Going to the front desk,” he said simply. “Nihlus and Ashley are getting a new reservation.”

“But you don’t even _like_ them,” Jane pleaded, looking extremely petulant. “C’mon, live a little!” 

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do, no thanks to you,” Garrus replied, shaking his head. “I swear, you’re a spirits-damned menace, Jane.”

_ _

* * *

“Who pissed in her cheerios?” John asked as he sat down at the table, watching as his sister pouting from the corner. “I thought this was supposed to be a fun evening.”  
  
“Me too,” Jane grumbled, earning a poke in the side from Garrus. When she glared at him, he growled, earning a weary sigh from Jane. “ _Fine…_ I was told to behave and respect that others are going through an emotional time, so I shouldn’t use tonight as a way to torture Nihlus and Ashley.”

“These… should not be lessons a grown woman has to learn,” John replied, staring at his sister. Then he paused, realizing what his sister had said. “Wait, back that up a bit...who were you trying to torture?”  
  
“Nihlus and Ash are here on a date,” Garrus replied, pouring another drink. “He was dumb enough to make this a double date. She-” He jerked his finger at his wife, who stuck out her tongue, “-was spiteful enough to up the ante and make it a triple.” 

John went pale. “Do I need to leave?”

Garrus shook his head. “No, I fixed it… It’s just the four of us tonight…” Then he looked around, scanning the restaurant for his sister. “Which is admittedly light,” he mused, raising a brow-plate at John. “Where’s Sol?” 

“Bathroom,” he replied, shaking his head. “To be honest, I’m just hoping we can get some food into her- she’s been in the dumps all day… and I understand why.” He glanced over at Garrus, then fidgeted with his hands. “She called your dad,” he said quietly. “The man basically told her to fuck off.” 

“I heard,” he said, glancing over at the bathroom. “Jane, do you mind-”

“On it,” she said quickly, frowning slightly as she got up from her seat. “Can’t be that hard to find a drunk turian, right?” 

“Oh dear lord,” John replied, watching as his sister headed for the front of the restaurant, “are you sure this evening is even _remotely_ a good idea?”

“Not at all,” Garrus answered, pouring out more of the bottle. “But I’ve already paid for this wine, so I’m committed… at least until the bottle is done.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane knew her husband was right, but that didn’t make her any less miffed that her absolutely perfect plan had gone to pot right before it got off the ground. However, to his point, she hadn’t factored in Sol being so upset- she’d honestly thought she’d deal with it in stride like Garrus had. _Guess that’s what happens when you have a family that cares about you_ , she thought as she walked into the bathroom. _Poor Sol… she still likes the asshole_.

“Sol?” Jane called out into the bathroom, making sure no one else was around. “Are you in here?”

“No,” her sister called back blearily. “I’m not here. Go away.”

Following the sound of her voice, Jane sighed, finding the turian sitting on the bench in the sitting area. She sat down next to her, then placed a hand on her leg. “Thought you guys couldn’t lie, Sol?”

“I’m already a disgrace to my family,” Sol chirped, then hummed dissonantly- Jane had never seen a drunk turian before, and she was growing quite unsure as to how she was supposed to handle this. “Let’s add being a liar to it! Who knows, maybe I’ll go pierce my mandibles too!” She leaned over to Jane and tried to rest her head on hers, missed and face planted into her hair. “You smell good,” she murmured, running her hands over Jane’s hair. “You’re so soft, Janey... I think I’m going to pet you.” 

“How did you even get in here?” Jane croaked, trying to pry herself out of the arms of the turian and failing as her sister held her tight. “You’re freaking lit, Sol!”

“I brought my own,” Sol purred, twirling Jane’s hair around her fingers and chirping softly. “And I finished it... Then I couldn’t move anymore, so I just… stayed right here.” She let out a warbly hum, then nuzzled Jane’s face. “ _Spirits_ , you’re warm… just like Johnny… my _mate_ .” Then Sol’s breath hitched, and she let out a keen that made Jane’s ears hurt. “I’m so _happy_ ,” Sol keened, sounding anything but happy as she locked Jane in her arms. “Why can’t Daddy _see_ that?” 

_Oh my god, I’m never going to live this down when Garrus finds out,_ Jane thought as she found her face pressed against her sister’s keel, her face smashed against her shirt as Sol rocked back and forth. “Sol,” Jane said, desperately trying to wiggle out of her sister’s arms, looking like JC trying to escape the bathtub, “Sol… I need you… to _let... me… go!”_

“And this is _not_ what I thought I would be seeing,” a voice said from above her, making Jane growl with irritation. “I never thought I’d see the great Brainy Janey turned into a human teddy bear for her turian sister.”  
  
“Ash,” Jane croaked, pulling at Sol’s shirt and trying to break free- she just knew she was getting imprints from her sister’s plates all over her face. “Please… for the love of god _help me!”_

“One second,” Ash replied. As Jane watched in horror, Ash held up her omni-tool and snapped a picture, smiling the entire time. “This is the best date ever,” she said with a sigh, standing back and smiling with smug satisfaction. “You know, you two look like you need some time to yourselves- maybe I can just come back later-” 

“Ash, _please_!” Jane cried, howling as she struggled against Sol’s death grip. “I’m sorry! I’m so very sorry… for _everything!_ Please, just get her off me before I die!” 

The soldier sighed, rolling her eyes at Jane. “Fine…I’ll help you because _I’m a good person_ ,” she said pointedly. “but I want a truce- you need to stop treating me like I’m dirt beneath your shoe, Jane!”

“If you get her off me _you can have my shoes!_ ” Jane yelled, groaning as Sol started to snore, looking dangerously close to falling over. “Ash, _please!_ ”

“Fine,” she huffed, then leaned over and did something to Sol. Whatever Ash did worked, because the turian finally released Jane and she gasped, relieved to be free. “C’mon, Sol, let’s get you out of here,” she cooed, stroking the young turian’s face. “ We’re going to get you home and into your bed, ok?” 

“Bed,” she repeated, nuzzling Ash’s shoulder. “I want a bed.”

“I know you do,” she said kindly. “And your sister is going to get you to one… as soon as you get up.” Ash draped Sol’s arm over Jane’s shoulder, then helped the two of them helped Sol stand. “I assume John is here too, right?” 

“Yep,” Jane grumbled, too embarrassed to say too much of anything. “He’s at the table with Garrus.”

“Get her outside and into the fresh air,” the soldier replied, walking out of the bathroom. “I’ll go get the guys and send them over to you.”

All Jane could do was nod- she had to use all her strength to get the turian outside of the bathroom. 

_ _

* * *

When Nihlus looked at Jane and Solana exiting the bathroom, he could barely suppress his laughter. The human looked a mess- her hair was sticking up in every direction, her face was full of raised red lines, and her clothes looked like she’d been sleeping in them. “Jane,” he said carefully, trying to keep his composure, “what happened to you?” 

“Karma,” Jane said simply, glaring at the floor. “We can leave it at that, Nih.”

“Oh, _shit_ ,” John exclaimed as he came out of the restaurant, looking over at his wife and sister with a mix of shock and glee, “I... couldn’t have _prayed_ for something like this, Jane- just… stay _just_ like that,” he said, taking a picture with his omni-tool. “This is the best wedding day gift ever, Janey.” He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, taking his wife and ignoring the scathing looks from his sister. “I’m so happy I could cry right now.” 

“She tried to smother me,” Jane said flatly, untangling herself from Solana and heading over to Garrus. She looked over at Ash, who had moved over to rest her arm on Nihlus’s shoulder. “You and your twin have a nice night- I’m going home before I rack up any more cosmic debts.” She glanced at Ash and frowned. “Wait a minute,” she said, staring at her dress as John helped Sol out the door, “what’s with the vid vixen dress, Ash- I thought you hated white.”

Curious, he turned to Ash, who just turned slightly red- instantly, Jane’s face went even redder. “ _Oh_ ,” she said, folding her hands. “Hey, don't worry about it… you look nice,” she said softly, shuffling her foot. There was a piece of tissue sticking out of one side of Jane’s hair, but no one else seemed to notice. “And thanks for your help back there.”

Ash just nodded, remaining silent as Jane headed out the door, leaving Vakarian to pay the bill. The spectre had to hand it to Jane- the woman was doing a terrific job of keeping her composure under what was no doubt embarrassing circumstances. “So… you hate white,” Nihlus mused, looking her up and down. “Shame,” he said, taking a deep breath and resting a hand on her waist. “You look good in it, Ash.” She smiled, running her finger along his markings.

“I do, don’t I?” He smiled, but she just kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough excitement,” she said quietly. “Feel like joining me for dinner?” 

“Be right there,” he murmured, resting his head against hers. “Let me make sure they’re all sorted over here.” 

Ash nodded and headed off, leaving Nih at the stand with the other turian. He knew the younger man had to have seen him, but he was hoping that he’d have some sense of tact and ignore it. Then again, Vakarian was Jane’s mate, so the chances of that were slim to none. “I already know,” Nihlus said wearily, watching as Ash headed to the table, looking powerful and gorgeous as she strode across the room. “You don’t have to say anything.” 

“Does she know?” Vakarian asked, crossing his arms. “If she doesn’t, you need to tell her… it’s not fair otherwise.” 

“I know,” he replied, shaking his head and trying to stop the rumble in his chest. “I know.”

Vakarian just shook his head, staring at Ash for a moment before turning his attention to the doorway. “If she’s as important as you’re saying she is,” he said quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder, “then she deserves to know the truth.”

“I’ll tell her,” Nihlus replied, ignoring the disbelieving huff from the turian as he left the restaurant. “Just as soon as I figure out how.”

_ _

* * *

John stared at his wife, feeling at a loss as to what to do next. Sol had cooperated long enough to get inside the skycar, but his luck quickly ran out- the turian had become an incoherent mess by the time they arrived home, alternating between bouts of loud keening and quiet rambling. _Man, I’m glad I’m a biotic_ , he thought as he used his energy to help get the babbling turian out of the car. _Otherwise, I was going to have to call Wrex to help me with this_. 

“Johnny,” she said, draping her arms over his shoulders as he leaned her against the wall, “you love me, right?” 

“Of course,” he replied, resting his head against hers. “Baby,” he said carefully, softly rubbing the back of her head and watching as she started to warble, “what did you drink?” 

“Dunno,” she slurred, waving wildly and hitting him in the head. “Found it… under the sink. Needed a drink earlier.” 

John’s jaw dropped. “And, um… how much of that did you drink?” His stomach was rapidly sinking to his feet- when he bought it, Garrus had taken a few sips out of that bottle on a dare, then politely ran to the bathroom to puke. “That’s some pretty strong stuff, Tiny.” 

“Dunno,” Sol said, slumping against the wall. “Went out with Jane… ordered a drink too. Felt a little better, so I took some of your stuff with me…” She rested her head on his just as the doors opened for their floor, and promptly started to stumble until he hoisted her arm over his shoulder. “Don’t feel good now.” 

He knew it was coming- John had seen that look in many of his friend’s eyes more than once before. It was the look that said ‘this is ending badly whether you want it to or not’, and he groaned- there was no way he was getting her to the bathroom in time. “Tiny,” he warned, frantically trying to unlock the door and keep her upright at the same time, “hold it in a few minutes more, ok?”

Unfortunately, Sol was no longer listening- her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her chest started to hitch. _No_ , he thought, his eyes widening as he frantically opened the door and dragged her inside, _no, please for the love of all that is holy, do not-_

His pleas fell on deaf ears- just as he knew she would, Sol gave a hiccup that heralded the beginning of the end. Powerless to stop it, John was frozen in place, finding himself covered in almost everything the poor girl had managed to shove down her gullet in the last few hours. His mind was running in so many directions that he couldn’t do anything except gape and heave, doing his best not to add his own dinner to the mix. _That… just happened_ , he thought miserably, looking at his wife, who was now keening loudly. _That was real… and there is nothing I can do about it_.

“Tiny,” he said, making a conscious effort to avoid inhaling or looking down at himself- he didn’t know how he’d handle things if he did. “Tiny, I need you to calm down and breathe, okay?”

“But… but I-” She stared at him, then hiccuped again- instinctively, John moved back, which Sol didn’t take that well. “And now _you_ hate me too,” she wailed, her cries much louder than he thought she’d be. “I don’t have _anyone_ now!” 

Unable to think of anything else to do, John thrust them both into the bathroom and into the shower. Without even bothering to remove their clothes, John turned on the water, letting it stream full blast over them. “Tiny,” he barked, forcing her to focus as the water washed the remnants of their evening into the basin, “I need you to _calm down!”_

His voice, coupled with the shock of the water, seemed to jolt her back into consciousness. “Johnny,” she stammered as she looked around the shower, no doubt trying to figure out just how she got there, “I’m _so_ sorry…” 

“Shh,” he said, unbuckling her clothes and reaching for her brush. “Don’t worry about it… we’re just going to get you cleaned up and into bed.” He stroked the back of her neck, then brought her head down to rest on his- at times like this, he was glad turians preferred this method of kissing. “I’m gonna take care of you, ok?”

Her blue eyes, glassy and unfocused though they were, locked with his as he carefully cleaned her off- since he was at least hosed down, he figured he could worry about himself later. “You don’t hate me?” 

“How could I hate my mate,” John asked with a smile, removing her wet clothes and setting them outside the shower. “Gonna take a lot more than this to get rid of me, Tiny,” he replied, pressing his lips to her wet brow. “You might want to try harder next time.” 

_ _

* * *

“Well that was an interesting evening,” Ash said as they left the restaurant, smiling as Nihlus wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her out the door. “Dinner and a show? You certainly know how to show a girl a good time, Nih.”

He chuckled, feeling a slight chill as they exited the restaurant and smiling as she wrapped her arm around his waist. “I’m not used to dates,” Nihlus admitted, rubbing the back of his neck for a moment before resting his head on hers. Such public displays of affection were strange to him, but Nihlus couldn’t resist- he had an overwhelming desire to be close to her. “What do you want to do now?”

She thought about it for a moment, then smiled, staring out at the park in front of them. “We’re always cooped up,” she said softly, resting her fingertips on his. “Let’s enjoy being outside for a little while.” Then she paused, watching his face closely. “Unless you’re cold- if you are, we can go back to the ship… I remember you weren’t looking so hot when we were on Noveria.” 

Nihlus laughed, shaking his head. “The Citadel is a far cry from Noveria, Ash. Besides,” he said teasingly, taking her hand in his as they walked across the street, “I didn’t think you noticed or cared about me back then.” 

“Oh, I noticed,” she replied, staring up at him. “I just didn’t care.” Chuckling, he leaned down and nipped her neck, making Ash laugh as she wrapped her arms around him. “What?" Ash asked teasingly, tapping his head with a finger, "did you want me to lie to you?”

“Never,” he answered, pressing her close and feeling the warmth of her skin against him. _She’s so soft_ , he thought, kissing her lightly before guiding her to a nearby bench, obfuscating them from the view of anyone passing by. “I hope you had fun tonight,” he said stiffly as she settled down next to him. “I just wanted you to have a good time.”

“I did,” she replied, leaning against his side. Then she paused, shifting to turn and look at him. “I _am_ having a good time,” she corrected, running her hand over his face. “I haven’t done anything like this in a while.”

“Maybe we should do it again,” he said hesitantly, closing his eyes and resting his head on hers. “After… after all of this business with Saren, maybe… maybe you and I might be able to…”

“Nihlus, I need you to help me out here,” Ash asked, her eyes searching his face, “You told me you didn’t want this to mean anything, and I get that,” she said softly, her fingertips tracing the lines of his markings. “You don’t owe me anything, but…” She took a deep breath, placing her hands in her lap and staring at her hands. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

He felt his heart drop as his sub-vocals stuttered. “But… I don’t understand,” he said slowly. “I thought we were having a pleasant evening- did I do something wrong?”

“We were having the _best_ evening,” she corrected, letting him take her hand in his and leaning against her as he nuzzled her face. “I never thought I could care about someone like this again, Nih- but you’re the only real friend I’ve got out here… and I can’t mess this up with you.” 

“You’re not messing this up,” he said quickly, tilting her face so he could kiss her. He could taste the dual-chirality wine on her lips and he gently guided her to sit on his lap, basking in the warmth and comfort of her pressing against him. “This has been…” Nihlus paused, cutting himself off before he said too much. “I’m asking if you want to do this again, Ash.” 

She smiled, staring at him as if she wanted to remember his face. “I can’t Nih… it’s gonna hurt too much. Just… let me have this, ok?” 

“But you have this,” he replied, taking her hand and pressing his face into it. “You have _me_ , Ash.” 

Ash just stared at him, her body going completely still. “What are you saying, Nih?” 

“I want you,” he answered, feeling a flush creep up the side of his neck. “I…I want to be the only one who gets to hold you like this- it’s what I’ve been saying to you,” he admitted, feeling extremely embarrassed. “I don’t want anyone else… I want you, Ash. You’ve had me for a while now- I’ve just been too stupid to tell you.” 

She wrapped her hands around his neck, resting her head on his keel. “I thought you didn’t want a relationship, Nih… if you’re doing this because it’s what you think I want-”  
  
“Spirits, would you be _quiet_ ,” he said, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck and pressing his mouth against hers. “You _know_ I care about you,” he murmured, resting his head to hers. “Say yes, Ash.” 

Ash closed her eyes and went still, but he dragged his tongue over her neck, feeling her pulse racing as she tried to maintain her composure. “I don’t want to mess this up,” she whispered. “I really like you, Nih- you really want to try this with me?” Ash asked, her eyes looking at him seriously. “Like no games? Just you and me, for real?”

“Yes,” Nihlus replied, feeling the world narrow to the small woman in his arms. “If you say yes, from here on out, it’s just you and me, Ash,” he replied, nipping her neck and tracing his tongue over the inflamed skin. _Just a little harder,_ he thought, then shook the thought from his head. “I’m already yours, Ash- just say you’ll be mine.” 

“Then yes,” she said, her face alight with excitement as she ran her fingers beneath his fringe, pulling him closer and kissing him deeply. “Whatever you want, Nih… I’m here.”


	56. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More shore leave with the Normandy crew; John needs help dealing with Sol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Jane's section has NSFW content, so feel free to skip if you're not into that- you won't miss much plot

_ _

* * *

Joker sat in the mess hall, relaxing with a beer and eating a slice of pizza from the box in front of him. _It’s strange not to be in the air_ , he thought, looking at his drink with interest. The ship was quiet that evening- the Shep twins were long gone, Nihlus had, for some unknown reason, left with BB, and Wrex had stomped off, talking about how he was going to take a quick job or two. _Hope the town can handle all this_ , he mused, taking a swig of his beer. _Then again, not my problem, so…_

He had just closed his eyes when he felt a soft thump on his lap, followed by a soft meow. “Um,” Joker called out, opening an eye and seeing Sol’s kitten staring up at him, “doesn’t this guy belong to someone?” 

“Oh, goddess!” Liara exclaimed, racing into the room and scooping up the tiny fluffball. “Thank you so much, Joker! He crept out of my room while my back was turned- I think he’s looking for Solana.” 

“Well, that’s his mama,” the pilot replied, reaching over to pet the little guy and laughing as it nuzzled his hand. “Probably misses her and Johnny.”

Liara frowned, then stared quizzically at the animal. “I’m not doing anything wrong, am I?” 

Joker shook his head. “Nah… cats just like who they like.” He smiled up at the asari, then went back to his food. “Enjoying your pet-sitting job?”

The asari got a grin on her face that was a mile wide. “Oh, yes! Tali and I took him for his walk around the Presidium today- he seemed to enjoy it very much!”

“Um,” he looked at the cat, then back to Liara, trying to figure out how to be polite about this, “you know… you don’t _have_ to walk the cat… they do just fine on their own, Li.” 

The asari looked at him strangely, then stared down at JC. “But Sol and John walk him every day,” she said, looking confused. “I thought one had to walk the cat to keep it in good health.” 

Joker just laughed and slid the box over to her. “Nope, that’s just a Tiny thing. She wanted to do it, so you know Johnny wasn’t gonna stop her.” He reached inside, taking another slice of pizza and biting down. “His whole philosophy is ‘if she’s happy, I’m happy’, so you know he’d never tell her no if he could get away with it. Plus, that girl is like a freight train of perky- every time she passes by I feel like I’ve been doused in glitter.” 

Liara didn’t respond- she just stared at him, no doubt trying to figure him out. _She’s probably trying to see if I’m gonna be a danger to the cat, which makes sense- it’s not like this crew is having the best luck with humans_. “Apparently, this ball of hair is my godson,” he said, picking it up and wincing as the cat yawned, blowing its fish breath into his face. “Might as well call my sister and introduce her to the newest member of the family.”

“You’re still upset about the lieutenant, aren’t you,” Liara asked kindly, ignoring his statement. “Sol doesn’t blame you… no one does, Joker.” 

“Yeah, well _I_ blame me,” he said gruffly, taking a swig of his beer. Liara took a piece of pizza and nibbled it thoughtfully, waiting for him to continue. “If I hadn’t tried to stop Johnny from looking over him so hard, maybe-” 

“No one can predict the future,” Liara replied, taking a larger bite of her slice. “It’s pointless to beat yourself up over the past- all we can do is learn from it and move on.” He started to protest, but she just shook her head. “Solana is one of my closest friends,” Liara said firmly. “If I could’ve prevented it, then I would have- since I couldn’t, there is no need to spend energy dwelling on things outside of my control.”

“Must be nice to be so confident,” Joker muttered, finishing his beer and getting painfully to his feet, tossing the bottle in the trash. “Hell, just makes me wonder what else I’m missing.” 

“You won’t know until you’ve missed it,” Liara said simply, scooping up the kitten in her arms and rising to her feet. “Just ask questions- that’s all any of us can do.”

_ _

* * *

Jane sat in the skycar, trying to ignore the smug-sounding rumbles coming from the turian next to her. “You can stop now,” she said pointedly, trying to smooth her now-tangled and frizzy hair. “I get it... I fucked up. The universe just told me so- there’s no need for my husband to do it too.” 

Garrus didn’t answer- he just stared out the window. “Jane,” he said as they pulled up to their apartment, “you need to talk to me.” 

Confused, Jane stared at her husband and waited for him to elaborate, not quite sure what he meant. “I don’t know what you mean,” she replied as he opened the door, gesturing for her to get inside the elevator. “What do you want to know?” 

He sighed, his mandibles twitching back and forth. “That stunt you almost pulled tonight… that wasn’t like you,” he said firmly. “You were willing to disrupt your crew… and for what? A joke?” Garrus shook his head. “That’s not the Jane I know.” 

Jane shifted uncomfortably, staring at her feet- she wasn’t used to anyone besides John calling her to the carpet for her behavior. “It was just a prank,” she said mulishly, shifting her weight and actively avoiding his gaze. “I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone.” 

“You’re a commander,” he said flatly, guiding her inside the apartment. “You are in charge on that ship- people look up to you.” He took her coat from her shoulders, then kissed her neck. “You’re a leader, Jane… you need to act like it.” 

“What if I don’t want to be?” Jane asked as she flopped on the couch, voicing the nagging little concern that had been tugging at her brain ever since her encounter with Alenko. “I couldn’t protect my sister… I couldn’t protect you… I’m obviously not responsible enough, so why even try? Why not just have fun with it while I can?”

Garrus sighed, taking her old Blasto blanket out of the crate and draping it around them as he sat down. “That’s garbage and you know it,” he said gently, pulling her close to him and pressing his lips to her forehead. “You are Jane Shepard-Vakarian,” he said pointedly, poking her in the side. “And I get that you’re scared, but that’s why I’m here, remember?” 

Jane sighed, closing her eyes as she settled against his plates. “I’m kinda glad you stopped me,” she admitted. “Honestly, I saw you coping pretty damn well and I didn’t think Sol would be as upset as she was… I swear, if I’d realized how bad she was taking it-”

“I know,” Garrus replied, resting his head against hers. “Why do you think I stopped you?” When she looked up at him, he just smiled. “I mean, if it had just been John you snuck in there, I might’ve let you do it.” 

“Seriously?” Jane laughed, punching him lightly in the arm. “You should’ve told me that!” 

He shrugged, then rested his chin against her shoulder. “Considering there was no way he was leaving her, it was irrelevant. Best thing to do was to stop it altogether… which I did.”

At that, Jane looked up at him, shaking her head at the smug look on his face. “You sound so damn pleased with yourself,” she grumbled, laughing as he pressed head to hers. “What am I going to do with you? How am I supposed to manage when I don’t have you to save me from myself?” 

“I have no idea,” he purred, sliding his hands down to her waist. “But I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” 

“That’s strange,” Jane murmured, turning over and sliding her hands up his shirt. By now, she knew every inch of him- every line of his plates was familiar, yet she never stopped enjoying the feeling of them beneath her fingers. “Because I don’t think I’m ever going to be okay without you.”

He cocked his brow plate at her, then let out a soft rumble. “Is that so?”

“You,” Jane said, sliding off his shirt and leaving a trail of kisses along his body, “are everything I ever wanted,” she breathed, getting to his waist and massaging him with her fingertips. “You’re my partner,” Jane whispered, unbuckling his pants and getting on her knees, “you always have my back, even when I don’t know that I need it.”

She could tell that his plates had shifted and she smiled, anticipating the sight that would greet her. Sure enough, he was ready for her, his cock standing at attention the moment she freed it from his pants. “You know,” she murmured, “It never ceases to amaze me that you don’t wear underwear.”  
  
“Don’t need them,” Garrus said huskily as she wrapped her hands around him, sliding them up and down his length. “They would just…” His breath hitched as she tightened her grip, digging his nails into her shoulder, “...get in the way.” 

She grinned, placing a kiss on the tip, licking the fluid with a swirl of her tongue. “Is that so?”

With every flick of her tongue, his body shuddered- she could feel the rumble rolling through him. “Jane,” Garrus said hoarsely, unconsciously thrusting up into the air as she moved her mouth, his grip tightening as she moved to his base and slid her mouth up his shaft, “Jane, _please…_ ”

“What happened to ‘why are you putting your mouth down there’?” Jane teased, raising her head and dragging her fingers up and down his length. “I distinctly remember my mate almost leaping away from me when I tried this before.” 

“Didn’t know any better,” he rasped, throwing his head back against the couch and growling as she moved faster and faster. “ _Spirits_ , Jane,” he croaked, his voice deep and raspy as he squeezed her shoulder, “please-”

Before he could finish, Jane had lowered her head and taken him into her mouth, earning a loud trill from Garrus as she moved up and down, caressing him with her lips. As she continued to drag her head up and down his length, she could feel his leg bouncing against her as he fought against his climax. _The one time I get to turn him into jelly_ , she thought happily, marveling at the turian writhing in ecstasy beneath her. _He’s going to make me pay for this… but it’s so going to be worth it_.

_ _

* * *

John looked at his wife, who was balled up in bed, her form practically curled in on itself. He’d gotten her to bed and laid out a set of clean clothes for her, but she’d promptly ignored them and went to sleep. Giving up on accomplishing anything else that evening, John hastily cleaned the living room, then dumped their clothes into the laundry before taking his own shower. Part of him hoped that he wasn’t ruining something of hers, but the smell coming from the soiled clothes quickly abolished that line of thinking. _I don’t know what she’s going to be like tomorrow,_ he thought, toweling off and frowning as he noticed that she hadn’t moved an inch since he’d been gone. With the way she was laying, there was barely any room for him in the bed, but there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she’d go into a spasm if she woke up in the morning and he wasn’t there. _Fuck me twice_ , he thought, grabbing a t-shirt and sliding into a pair of boxers, _this isn’t how I thought this evening would go._

Deciding that his wife’s health was much more important than anything, John sighed and called his mother-in-law, wincing when he saw the time. _I know she’s probably sleeping, but I don’t know what else to do… I don't want to wake her up, but Tiny's in rough shape. Fuck it,_ he thought, taking a deep breath. _This is just a risk I’ll have to take._

Surprisingly, the woman picked up right away, her face full of concern. “John? This is supposed to be your bond-celebration- why are you wasting this time calling your mother?”

The words filled his heart with warmth and he smiled, running his hand over his damp curls. “I don’t mean to bother you, but I had a question, Yeloris.”

“I assume you’ve already mated,” she said teasingly. “Shouldn’t you have figured out most of the interesting bits by now?” His face went flame-red and she laughed, placing a hand to her cheek. “Oh my, it is wonderful seeing you little ones go so _pink!”_

He just scowled, trying to stifle the flush in his cheeks. “Ma, please don’t do that,” then he clapped a hand to his mouth. “Oh, man... I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s a name I happily accept,” Yeloris replied, cutting him off. “What’s on your mind, son? I’m certain that it had to be important to warrant a call at such a late hour.” 

John twirled a strand of hair around his finger, then sighed. “It’s about Tiny,” he admitted. “She’s really drunk, and I don’t know what to do for her. She…” John paused for a moment, not wanting to tell Yeloris that her daughter went full puke cannon on him. “Got sick,” he said finally, hedging his words a little. “I got her in the shower and cleaned her up, but she’s sleeping like a little armadillo right now and I don’t know if something’s wrong-”

Yeloris held up a hand, cutting him off. “What do you do for humans when they’ve consumed too much, John?”

He shrugged, staring into the room- Sol still hadn’t moved. “Water, aspirin… lots of coffee when you wake up, a little teasing to remind you not to do it again?” 

“It’s exactly what you should do here, too.” She laughed for a moment, then paused. “I assume you weren’t celebrating together when this happened?” 

John shook his head. “No...she’s been upset all day- she called your husband this morning and he basically said he’s written her off. She’s-” he looked down, feeling terrible for his role in this, “-taking it really hard, Ma. Honestly, I don’t know what to do.”

“You’re doing everything you should be doing, son- you are a wonderful mate,” Yeloris said firmly, growling for a moment before her expression settled back down. “I am proud that my daughter chose you.” Then she paused for a second, putting a finger to her lips. “And to alleviate your initial concern, she’s just cold- as soon as you get in with her, she’s going to curl around you, so I hope you don’t plan on getting up again anytime soon.” 

John laughed, feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. “Nope… as long as she’s ok, I’m exactly where I want to be.”

“Then you two will be fine,” she declared, a soft smile on her face. “But, I do think Sol is going to need something sweet when she wakes up- if you don’t mind, may I send something over to make her feel better in the morning?”

“Of course,” John said, grateful for the turian on the other end of the line. “If it’ll make Tiny feel better, then by all means, do whatever you need to...please.”

The turian got a smile on her face that John wasn't quite sure he liked. "Don't worry, son... I will."

_ _

* * *

For the first time in his life, Nihlus woke up to someone sleeping next to him. 

At first, he was startled, then a smooth hand ran over his chest plates, causing him to let out a soft purr. _She’s still here,_ he thought, marveling at the woman sleeping next to him and rumbling with happiness as he inhaled her scent. _She wants to be with me_. When she let out a contented sigh and snuggled closer to him, he wrapped his arm around her and nuzzled her neck. “Hey,” he murmured, gently stroking her cheek, “did you sleep okay?”

“Never thought I’d be waking up next to a turian,” Ash murmured, smiling as she brought her hand to his face. “Kinda fun, actually.”

“Glad you like it,” he replied, resting his hand on her waist. “I think I might want to do it more often.”  
  
Ash laughed, the vibrations of her body making his plates shift. “Who are you and what have you done with Nihlus,” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck. “This sounds suspiciously like you care about me, Nih.” 

He rolled his eyes and lightly nipped her neck, dragging his tongue over her skin. “You already know I do,” he said pointedly, chuckling as she leaned into him. “You just want to hear me say it.”

“Is that so wrong?” Ash asked, gasping as he cupped her ass and pressed her against his rapidly-opening plates. “It’s sort of nice to feel wanted, you know.”

“You were always wanted,” he said quickly, lowering his head to hers. “I was just too stupid to tell you.” 

She sighed and rolled over, letting her back rest against his chest and her hair tickle his nose. “Too bad we’re heading back out- it’s been fun waking up next to you.”

NIhlus just smiled, tracing his hand along her side. “Who said we had to stop?” 

She looped her arm over his head, stroking his fringe. “Um, I think the fact that we’re about to go into battle against a madman might put a damper on the warm and fuzzy moments, Nih.” 

He let out a loud laugh, running his hand through her hair. “Have you been living on a different ship from me all this time? Your ex is mated to the medic. The commander and her mate share a cabin- I think you and I waking up together every once in a while will be fine, Ash.”

Ash laughed, the vibrations of her body making him grow hard as he pressed against her. “They’re married,” she said pointedly, sliding her hand down his side. “Totally against regs, but it’s her ship, so…” 

He felt a lump in his throat as he looked at her for a moment, then buried his head in her shoulder. “How do humans get married?” he asked, staring at her for a moment. “Jane and John are mated, their union sealed by bond-marks- it’s an old tradition, but I’ve noticed humans don’t tend to do the same.” 

“What’s a bond-mark?” Ash wondered, bringing his hand around to rest on her waist. “This is the first I’m hearing about this.” 

NIhlus paused, looking at her bare shoulder and swallowing. This was a conversation he didn’t know if he should be having with her just yet, but he didn’t want to lie to her. “We bite down right here,” he said, nipping at her shoulder and trying not to picture his mark there, “so we can show the world we belong to each other.” 

“Sounds like a painful wedding ring,” Ash replied quietly. “We… tend to do things a little differently- we date…and if we’re lucky, we fall in love,” she said wistfully, brushing her finger over his knuckles. “And then… if we’re really lucky, we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. And, god willing, we actually get to settle down long enough to do it.” Then she paused and he heard her chuckle softly to herself. “Now that I think about it, there’s a lot of luck and a lot of love involved.” Ash sighed, brushing her hair out of her face and leaning her head on his hand. ”I don’t tend to have much of either of those, though.” 

“This sounds complicated,” Nihlus replied, resting his head on hers. “Turians… we see what we want and we say it… if the other agrees, then it’s done. Seems much simpler than this dance you humans do.”  
  
“I’ll have you know it’s romantic!” Ash exclaimed, laughing as she hit him lightly on his leg. “It shows how much you want to be with each other!” Then she grinned, rolling over to look at him. “Wait.. does this mean we’re dating now?” 

Nihlus smiled, then pressed his lips to hers. “Is that what you want?” 

She stared at him for a minute, then smiled as she brought her hand to his face, tracing the markings along his plates. “Yeah,” she admitted, “it is.” 

He rumbled happily, then pressed his head to hers. “Then we’re dating,” he murmured. “Isn’t that much better? Just asking and agreeing instead of all this dancing around?” 

“I don’t know,” Ash teased, her eyes bright as she snuggled closer to him. “Sometimes the dance can be fun.”  
  
“If you say so,” Nihlus replied, not having the heart to tell her that he was already hers- if she wanted to feel lucky and loved, he was happy to do that. _She wants that fantasy,_ he thought, savoring the feeling of her relaxing in his arms. _If that’s what she needs, then I can give it to her._

_Spirits know I’m not going anywhere._


	57. You don't want to hear it, but you have to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castis has a hangover when he talks to Ye; Jane sits down with Nana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to @Rosebud1773 for the Nana convo- always a blast when you aren't talking to yourself :)

_ _

* * *

Castis woke up with a pounding headache, the likes of which he hadn’t experienced in many years. _This is why I don’t drink,_ he thought to himself, surprised by the smell of kava wafting up to his nostrils. _That’s right… Yeloris is here with me_ , he thought, feeling a thrum of happiness as he headed into the kitchen, seeing his mate standing at the stove. “Good morning,” he said, his eyes landing on the cup sitting on the table. “You always know just what I need,” he murmured, taking the cup and inhaling the aroma before taking a sip. “Thank you, my love.” 

Yeloris just smiled, placing a pastry in front of him. “Anytime, darling. Eat up- that should help with the hangover I know you’re nursing.” She rested her head against his, then lightly nipped at his neck. “Spirits know when you’re going to learn that trying to outdrink Artalius is a terrible idea.”

Castis rolled his eyes and sighed, then frowned at the item on his plate. “What’s this?” 

Yeloris looked at him as if he were stupid. “Breakfast, darling- it is morning, after all.” 

He glared at her, but she simply stared back at him with that same sharp expression. “I’m aware of the time of day, Ye- I’m just curious as to why you chose to serve this today.”

His mate just settled into her seat and folded her hands, her ice-blue eyes staring at him with complete innocence. “And why wouldn’t I make this? It’s a perfectly sound breakfast, is it not?” 

“Yes, but-” Castis looked over at the item on the plate, feeling his breath hitch. “You know this was Sol’s favorite breakfast,” he said irritably. “There’s no need to make this dish anymore.” 

“Oh… so it is,” Yeloris mused, taking a large bite of the pastry and sending the aroma of tholam berry jam floating over him. “She must have been on my mind this morning- I feel absolutely wretched knowing that she’s not well.”

Despite his best efforts to stop it, a growl came up in his throat. “What’s wrong with her?”

Yeloris just stared at him. “I thought you don’t have a daughter- why worry about someone who isn’t your clan?” She took another bite, then let out a deep sigh. “I do hope that John knows enough to not give her any medication that isn’t dextro-safe… spirits love and keep them both.”

A nervous hum was starting to rise in his throat, making his stomach twist. “Ye,” he said carefully, “what is wrong with Solana?” 

She hung her head, then tapped her talons on the table. “It’s not important, Castis,” she said, staring down at her lap. “At least I hope it isn’t- Garrus is too proud to tell me anything, and poor John is absolutely terrified right now.”

The hum became a growl, and Castis had to stop himself from digging his talons into the table’s surface. “What is wrong with my-” he caught himself, then swallowed. “What is wrong with Solana?”

“Stress, I suppose,” Yeloris said quietly, taking a sip of her drink. “Poor dear must be out of her mind right now.” The turian woman shook her head. “Between almost being murdered-” 

_“EXCUSE ME!”_ Castis roared, shooting up from his seat and staring at his mate with fury and disbelief. “I need you to explain this situation right now, Yeloris!” 

“Why?” Yeloris asked coldly. “You didn’t care to ask if your children were alright before disowning them. By the way, your son was poisoned, if you cared to ask about him, and your daughter is recovering after that nasty lieutenant beat her within an inch of her life.” She put a finger to her cheek, then growled. “But my mistake,” she said sweetly, a dangerous hum in her sub-vocals telling him that he was on shaky ground. “You don’t have any children anymore… I’ll be sure to keep this kind of thing to myself from here on out, don’t worry.”

“Yeloris,” Castis said, his face going pale- he was confident his wife wouldn’t lie to him, she was better than that. However, he also knew that she wasn’t above twisting words to get her way. “I need you to answer me honestly… did that sort of thing really happen to Garrus and Solana?” 

“Oh yes,” she said evenly, sipping her drink. “ _John_ caught the bastard… and brought him in for judgment. I must admit, he’s a better person than I- I would’ve just ripped his sniveling throat out,” she said casually, finishing her breakfast. “But, I suppose that’s why he’s the C-Sec detective and not I.” 

Castis blinked- he hadn’t expected a human to prosecute one of their own over something that happened to a turian. “Good… maybe C-Sec isn’t going completely to ruin by allowing his appointment.” 

Yeloris just stared at him. “I _do_ hope they get her looked at before they take off again, though,” she said, shaking her head.”Poor thing was sick as all get out when John called me last night.. I can’t imagine the additional stress of being _disowned_ is doing her any favors.” Castis shrank into his chair, but his mate's expression stayed stern. “If something happens to either of them out there…Well, at least they’ll have their mates at their side- spirits know they won’t tell _us_ about it.”  
  
Castis poked listlessly at the pastry on his plate, trying to avoid the harsh gaze of his mate. “They’ll tell you,” he mumbled, knowing he was not going to like the direction this conversation was taking. “I don’t know why you think-”  
  
“Oh, you don’t, do you?” Yeloris got up from her seat, then walked over to him, trailing her hands over his fringe. “You don’t think there’s going to come a time where you’re going to be even more pig-headed and try forcing me to choose my mate over my chicks?” Her hands tightened around one of his spines, making him yelp. “What do you _think_ is going to happen, Castis? Eventually, my children are going to cut me out of their lives… to _save_ me the trouble of dealing with _you!_ ”

He started to say something, but he was cut off by an angry growl, her talons digging into his fringe. “Make no mistake, I love you, Castis Vakarian- I am bonded to you and I will honor that bonding with every fiber of my soul. But if you do not _fix this_ ,” she snarled, leaning into his face and staring murderously at his throat, “I swear to all the ancestors that I will make each and every one of your days _a living hell until you do!”_

Castis swallowed, not sure if he wanted to even move at this point- he hadn’t seen his mate this angry in years. True, she tended to be mild-mannered, but he had no doubt that she meant every word that had tumbled out of her mouth. “Yeloris,” he said weakly, “what would you have me do?” 

“I’m glad you asked,” she said sweetly, patting him harshly before stepping over to the counter and shoving a parcel into his hands. “Take these to your _daughter_ ,” she said pointedly. “I am not asking you to like their mates, but I am _telling_ you to respect their choices, Castis!”  
  
“But they are human!” Castis roared, his shame and embarrassment manifesting with rage. “What kind of life will they be able to lead with them?” 

“A happy one of their own choosing,” Yeloris replied coldly, crossing her arms and glaring at him. “Your children are free to make their own decisions… just as I was free to choose to spend my life with you.”

_ _

* * *

Jane sighed as she sat at the cafe, twisting her hands and staring over at the pastries in front of her. She was still smarting from last night’s events, but if it had done anything, it had shown her that like it or not, the time for games and fun was done. _Time to face the music,_ she thought, gritting her teeth. _If Bitchy Barbie can step up and save me from a drunken Sol without making a scene, I can grow a pair and at least talk to the damn woman who’s uprooting her life to help my sister._

Soon, she spotted the asari coming up the walk and got to her feet, nodding at the woman as she approached. “Natearus,” she said stiffly, watching as the woman sat down across from her. “Thanks for meeting me so early.”

Nana settled into the chair folding her hands on the table between them and simply looked Jane over for a moment. “Calmer today, aren’t we? That mate of yours must have taken my advice to heart.” She gave the commander a faint smile and a nod before her expression slipped back into a more neutral mode. “You know you don’t need to stand on formality with me, girl- Nana or even Tear is fine. Natearus sounds like you're… I don’t know… beggin’ to write my epitaph.”

Jane sighed, taking a sip of the wonderfully strong coffee. “My mate had nothing to do with it,” she said stiffly, then winced a little at the unintentional lie. Since Garrus was responsible for curtailing her destructive behavior, he was technically the reason for her reflection. “He’s a good man, but contrary to popular belief, I can do things on my own, Nana. This just happens to be one of those things.”

“Heard a little somethin’ about an _incident_ at Apollos last night,” Nana said, but there was no bite in her tone- she simply sat there stone-faced. “Someone sent out a couple of _very_ entertaining images. Guessin’ that might be the reason for the sliver of civility today.” 

It took all Jane’s self-control to not snap at the woman- she just sat and closed her eyes, sucking in a loud breath and pursing her lips. “I’m going to kill him,” she muttered, clenching her fists. “I am going to outright _murder_ that man and I will _not_ feel bad about it.” 

“You know you don’t wanna do that, dear. The girl was drunk- seems you took care of her… as a sister should.” Nana hummed softly and rubbed one hand over the knuckles of the other as if they were aching. “Mind indulging me with just a few crumbs of info here?”

Jane pressed a hand to her face. “I didn’t think Sol was going to take this situation so badly,” she mumbled, staring at the table. “It was supposed to be a joke… I didn’t know Sol had gone on an all-day bender. Hell, I’ve never even _seen_ a drunk turian before- how should I know she was going to damn near hug me to death?”

Nana didn’t chuckle and she didn’t offer a snarky reply- she simply nodded and pressed her hands together on the table. “It’s hard to lose family. Harder when they’re still breathin’ and want nothin’ to do with you.”

“I wouldn’t know about that,” Jane said snippily, then shoved a pastry in her mouth to give herself time to calm down. “I’ve always had my family… well, _almost_ always, that is.”

Nana nodded with a frown at her words and laced her fingers together before her. “Wasn’t a good situation back then, girl.” the asari sighed and locked eyes with her then. “Should have come back for you as soon as they said you were awake…”

“Well, you didn’t,” Jane snapped, glaring at the old woman, the wounds she thought long healed picking apart with every word. “Guess I wasn’t _important_ enough to take since I wasn’t a biotic like John.” She glared at Nana, feeling her throat clench. “You _never_ gave a shit,” she hissed, staring at the woman, her nails digging into her palms. “Always thinking about how great he could be… admit it- you were ready to shuttle him off at the first fucking opportunity to make him the poster child for the Alliance.” 

The asari’s expression hardened with every word coming out of Jane’s mouth. “You really think I meant to separate the two of you? That was the last thing I wanted for either of you. You were already gone, took off the second the doctors released you. I came back lookin’ for you…”

“Where the fuck was I supposed to be!” Jane screamed, then took a deep breath, calming herself down. “My brother was gone, Natearus! You took the only person that I ever fucking loved away from me and _left me there!_ ”

“Anderson was supposed to pick you up. Boy was supposed to take you in until I came for you. Did he pick you up?” Nana asked, her voice still calm as a millpond. “Or did you take off and disappear for those first few weeks?” 

“How was _I_ ,” Jane said through clenched teeth, “supposed to know that my gang-banging, newly biotic brother was safe and sound, hmm? How much do you _think_ they told me, Natearus?” She leaned forward, well aware that her temper was hitting a dangerous level. “Ever lived on the street, hmm? Don’t know if you realized this, but the system never quite seems to work the way they say it should! Of _course_ I fucking ran,” she hissed. “I got the fuck out of there as fast as I could… and _I looked for my brother!”_

“Well no shit, girl. The system sucks. It’s like that everywhere.” Nana grumbled and shook her head. “This ain’t about the system though. This is about you, Janey. It’s about you being lost and alone… Your brother was out cold when I came back for you, and nobody knew where to look.”

“John would know,” she said bitterly. “He always knew.” 

“The boy was unconscious. I doubt he knew his own name. Wasn’t about to wait for him to wake up to try and come find you.” Finally, Nana’s temper snapped and she banged her hands down on the table. “What do you want from me, Jane? Clearly, you want something and I’ve had just about enough of this rumbling bitch fit from you.”

 _“ADMIT YOU FUCKED UP!”_ Jane roared, causing heads to turn in their direction. “I’m tired of all this sage-ass-holier-than-thou bullshit from you! You fucked me over, Natearus! And instead of just admitting it, you decide to send Lilfrey out as a goddamn cocktease to get John to head out _again! That’s_ why I’m so fucking pissed, and I’m not going to let you fuck over Sol that way too!”

Nana glared at her, obviously calculating her next words carefully. “For starters… let me be _absolutely_ clear… and you best keep those ears of yours open. I had _nothing_ to do with Lilfrey trying to lure off John. Tried to prevent that, but the girl does what she will… gathers information when and where she pleases- has her own mind.” the asari said reflectively and let out a sigh of frustration, her voice dropping to barely a whisper. “But… you’re right. I fucked up…”

Jane’s jaw dropped- she’d been waiting for over a decade to hear those words from the asari, but never thought she’d hear them in her lifetime. She started to say something, then thought better of it, settling back in her seat and choosing to fume at the old woman across from her. “I’m listening.”

“I have no intention of hurting Sol- you needn’t worry about that. She wants to stay with her mate, that’s where she stays. If you hadn’t noticed… I offered to come to _her_ to train her,” Nana stated calmly as she maintained eye contact. “Not sure you believe a thing I say at this point, but it’s worth a shot. Hell, if you need proof, then I’ll share those memories, but you might not like what you see.”

Jane thought about it for a moment, then remembered what Liara had said- _you’ll be reliving them_ , she’d warned. “I don’t know if I want to live a life that’s not mine, Nana.” 

The asari nodded thoughtfully. “Not many do, but if it’ll give you some peace… or even a bit of closure, the offer stands.”

“Then do it,” Jane replied, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “Just tell me what you need from me.” 

_ _

* * *

The moment Nana reached across the table and lightly tapped Jane's hands, Nana embraced eternity and drew her into the joined consciousness. The memories came quickly from beyond the darkness. They could see and hear, but couldn’t interact with them. She drew the memory along, willing it to clarify itself around them.

 _I told that old human bat at the hospital he wasn’t ready to be released,_ the memory of Nana grumbled to the young turian female who had come by to check in with her. _Told her I meant to take ‘em both with me. Idiot didn’t listen. Now I got a sick boy on my hands and a missing girl. Goddess… how did it all go so wrong so fast?_

_The humans never listen, Nana,_ Lilfrey rumbled in anger. _They’re too arrogant to pay attention to anybody that doesn’t look like them._

_You’ll obey the rules of my house, girl,_ Nana snapped at her even as she mopped John’s sweaty brow with a cool, damp cloth. _I’ll not have a xenophobic attitude here. You’d do well to remember that._

_Yes, Nana. I’m sorry,_ Lilfrey said quietly. _It’s just that most of the humans here are so awful._

_I need you to watch over him while I’m gone._ Nana murmured, checking the boy’s eyes for any kind of reaction. _Think you can do that?_

 _Why? Where are you going, Nana?_ Lilfrey said quietly. _You know I worry about you._

 _I’m going back to Earth to look for his sister. I can’t leave her there alone,_ Nana grumbled, shaking her head and getting to her feet. _It’s… just not right. Rubs me the wrong way to split them up, even a few days._

The memory shifted as she willed them onward to another of Earth. As the scene stabilized around them, Nana guided their attention to the skycar that touched down just outside Alliance HQ on a rainy and dreary afternoon. In the memory, the asari stepped out and rushed into the building out of the rain. Nana headed for Anderson’s office, not even bothering to knock- she just threw the door open and glared at the man.

 _Where’s the girl?_ Nana snapped the second her eyes found his. _I asked you to pick her up, keep her with you until I could make it back._

The dark-skinned human male looked at her wearily, then turned back to his paperwork. _She took off before we got there… vanished without a trace. Hopefully, she’ll turn up soon._

 _Hopefully…? Well, let’s ‘hope’ the girl doesn’t turn up dead in a gutter somewhere, boy._ Nana growled at him. _Have you even bothered to send out a search? Can’t imagine that boy’s gonna be cooperative without her when his eyes finally pop open._

 _We need him, Natearus,_ Anderson said, raising his eyes to hers. _He’s powerful, but with your training…_

 _And he needs his sister, you idiot! You can’t tear a family apart just to parade the boy around and show off how strong your Alliance is. It’s not right!_ Nana snarled at him, trying to make him understand just how important this really was. _That boy might just crumple in on himself and refuse to listen to a damn thing I say to him._

 _Is it really that serious?_ Anderson asked, finally giving her his full attention. _Can’t you do something?_

Nana rolled her eyes and leaned on the desk to glare at him. _Goddess save me from the stupid, of_ _course_ _it’s that serious. Think, son! I thought you humans had strong family ties._

The memory shivered away and Nana guided them to one last series of events. The sights, sounds, and scents of Omega poured in around them as she watched John finally open his eyes. 

_Welcome back, boy,_ Nana murmured as she ran cool fingers across his forehead. _How do you feel?_

 _Who the fuck are you!_ John shot back, scuttling away from her with his eyes wide as they danced across the room. _Jane! JANEY! JANEY WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!_

 _I’m afraid she’s not here._ Nana said solemnly. _We’ve been lookin’ for her… Do you know what happened?_

John blinked for a second, no doubt trying to remember. _I… we… we were walking,_ he said slowly, his tongue stumbling over his words. He ran his cuffed hands over his half-shaved head, then shivered. _A guy… came at Janey, and...he tried to grab her… and…_ he stopped, his body shaking. _What… why can’t I remember? Where’s Janey? I need Janey_!

 _You leveled a city block, John. Popped a biotic pulse and collapsed. Strong enough to draw Alliance attention. You’re here on Omega for training,_ Nana said soothingly. _I’ll teach you how not to blow yourself up._

 _I don’t_ _want_ _to be on Omega, I want my sister!_ John howled, the hairs on his arms starting to rise and crackle with a faint blue light. _I need to find her- she can’t be alone out there!_

 _Settle down, boy! You’ll give yourself a stroke,_ Nana snapped as she opened her omni-tool. _I’ve been lookin’ for her- can’t find the girl anywhere. Got a few people searchin’ too. Bound to find her sooner or later._

 _You won’t find her,_ he shot back. _She doesn’t know you-_ _I_ _don’t know you! You gotta let me out, please!_ The boy was on the verge of tears at this point. _She’s only gonna listen to me- please, just… I’ll do whatever you want… just… let me find my sister, please._

 _I’m Natearus, but you can call me Nana.. or Tear… whichever feels better to you. Release that energy. Can’t use an omni-tool to call her if you’re about to blow the place up_. Nana turned toward the turian hovering a short distance away. _Lilfrey, be a dear and go fetch his omni-tool._

He stared at her, his grey eyes wide and unblinking. _Looks like a scared varren_ , Nana thought, watching as John stood stock still. _Dammit, he’s goin’ to bolt the second the cuffs are off_. But, as promised, she released the cuffs the moment he released his grasp on his biotics. However, just as she had suspected, the second those cuffs dropped from his hands, John was up and headed for the door like a shot.

 _I don’t think so, boy_ , Nana snapped as she wrapped him in biotic energy, lifting him a few inches off the floor.

 _Let me go!_ John howled, banging against his miniature prison. _I need to find my fucking sister!_

 _You ain’t gonna find her by running off half-cocked, kid,_ Nana growled at the boy and walked over to stand before him. _How would you get to her? You’re on a damn asteroid, for Goddess’ sake._

_I don’t care!_ John wailed, looking every bit the terrified seventeen-year-old boy. _I just need to get out of here! She...she needs me!_

Lilfrey came rushing back with the omni-tool and handed it to Nana. The elder asari nodded her thanks and held it up for him to focus on. Turning her attention back to John, Nana leaned in just a little to ensure she had his undivided attention. _You’re gonna call her, message her… I don’t care how. You just get in touch with her. You go runnin’ off out there… I can’t promise we’ll find you in one piece. You find out where she is… I’ll go pick her up myself_.

 _I’m tougher than I look_ , John growled. _I’ll be fine._

The boy was pushing her past her limits of patience by this point and she held the omni-tool up, releasing only his hands. _I don’t give a flyin’ fuck how tough you think you are… and neither does Omega, you whinin’ little brat! Street thugs end up dead here… probably why Anderson wanted you here. Makin’ sure you get the training you need. You wanna defend yourself… learn your damn biotics…. But first, you’re gonna call your sister… or I’m gonna pin your happy ass to the ceiling until you do._

 _Why do you want us,_ John asked, glaring at her. _What, gonna sell us off to the fucking batarians? Getting paid more for a matching set?_

_Right about now… I_ _wish_ _I was gettin’ paid for this._ Nana gave him the rundown in the hopes that it might break through that thick skull of his. _Captain Anderson wants you trained, wants you enlisted so you can have a better life. Apparently, he thinks there’s somethin’ in there worth pullin’ off the streets. Is he right… or am I wastin’ my time here?_

John paused, glaring at the woman. For a second, she thought he was still going to fight, but then he paused. _What about Janey,_ he asked. _What happens to her if I go?_

 _Well now… finally somethin’ more than panic._ Nana gave him a smile now that he was finally hearing what she had to say. _What happens to her? We find her, pull her off the streets… and maybe she gets top military training and the chance to enlist too_. Then she let out a faint sigh of frustration. _We just have to find the girl._..

John stared at his hands for a moment, tapping something that Nana didn’t understand against his palm. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. _Gimme the tool,_ he said quietly. _I’ll show you how to find her._

Nana held the tool out to him and he snatched it from her grasp. _We’ll talk about manners later, kid, but right now, you do what you need to so we can find her. If she stays put, then I’ll go fetch her myself._

_ _

* * *

Jane stared at the asari for a minute, then blinked as she took her hands away, wiping at her eyes. “He was finger tracing,” she said quietly. “We haven’t done that since we were kids.” She stared at the table, then sighed. “He was saying ‘I love you’.” 

“All he yelled about the first few weeks was you,” Nana said quietly as she pressed a hand to her left temple. “You didn’t stay put, moved around too much… and I couldn’t catch your slippery ass. Never realized Lilfrey was whispering in his ear. Guess I should have since he stopped askin’ about you every five minutes.” 

“She told him I was _dead_ ,” she said bitterly. “Who fucking _does_ that? Why… why would she do that kind of shit?”

“Well now… apparently _she_ does… I’ll have to have a little chat with her next time I see her,” Nana grumbled. “Maybe pin her ass to the Destiny Ascension's hull and let the mass effect field flay her for me.” 

“ _You_ didn’t believe me,” Jane muttered. “Thought I was just being jealous…”

“Old as I am, _alien_ as I am to _you_ … I’m still a living, breathing… _flawed_ being, girl. You’d do well to remember.. .none of us are perfect.” Nana rubbed her temple and sighed. “For what it’s worth… I’m sorry, girl. You deserved better… and I should have looked harder.”

Jane exhaled slowly, feeling the tension and stress from the memories wash over her. The asari was many things, but her memories didn’t lie- she could feel her indignation, her panic, and her frustration. _She actually means it_ , she thought, staring at the woman across from her. _We might not ever be friends, but at least… at least I don’t feel so angry anymore._ “I’m heading back to the apartment to get ready,” she said quietly. “Are you going to be ready to head out, Nana?”

Nana nodded. “Have some business to see to with that rotten little bastard Anderson took into custody, but yes… I’ll be ready.” 


	58. Loose Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a visitor; Nana handles some business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rosebud1773 is a mean lady... that's all I gotta say.

_ _

* * *

The door terminal buzzed and John groaned, slowly untangling himself from Sol’s tight embrace. _Yeloris wasn’t kidding_ , he thought as he got to his feet, yawning and scratching his side. _Tiny was not letting me up at all… but I’m glad she got some rest._

Since Jane never buzzed, he figured it was probably Nana and he rolled his eyes as he checked the intercom, then let out a yelp when he saw the face of the elder Vakarian outside his door. “Yes,” he said tersely, all traces of sleep gone in an instant, “can I help you with something?”

Castis stared into the camera, his gaze sharp. “Solana is inside, correct?” 

“This is her house,” John snapped back, his temper starting to flare. “Was there something you needed?”

“I need to come in and see her,” Castis retorted, and John could hear a growl starting to build in his throat. “She is alive, correct?”

“Of course she is!” John shot back, his patience wearing thinner by the minute. “But then again, why do you give a shit? She’s not your daughter, remember?” 

Undaunted, Castis rolled his eyes. “Can we please not have this conversation in the hallway?” He trilled softly, then crossed his arms. “It’s undignified.” 

John bit back a hiss, then closed his eyes- no matter how arrogant the man was being, this was still Yeloris’s husband and his father-in-law. “Are you here to apologize, Mr. Vakarian?” 

The turian went rigid, drawing himself up to his full height. “The purpose of my visit is _hardly_ your concern, Shepard- I wish to speak to Solana, not you.” 

“In that case, I’m going to have to respectfully decline,” he said, trying to keep his voice clipped. “I don’t think it would be a good idea.” 

“And why not?” Castis snapped, no doubt not used to being denied something he’d asked for. “If she’s alive and well, then there should be no problem.” 

“Oh she’s inside, but thanks to you, she’s definitely not well,” John shot back. “Even if you don’t give a shit about her, that’s still my wife- I mean, my mate, and I’ll be _damned_ if I let you hurt her even more than you’ve already done.” 

At that, the turian’s face dropped, then his features twisted in a snarl. “You insolent little-”

“Fuck off,” John said politely. “I don’t know how you figured coming to my house and thinking you were going to win a pissing match with me was going to go any type of way but fucking poorly for you. Now if you don’t mind… I have to tend to my sick mate, thank you very much.”

“Shepard,” Castis interjected, stopping John before he could walk away. “Yeloris sent me,” he grumbled, his posture stiff as he held up a package. “So would you _please_ ,” he said through gritted teeth, “allow me to speak with Solana so I may give her this?” 

He was about to tell him to fuck off again, but he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Sol standing behind him, looking exhausted. “Tiny,” he said, pressing his head to hers, “what are you doing out of bed?” 

“You’re loud,” she moaned, then turned to the door. “That’s my dad, isn’t it?” 

John sighed, running his hand over his hair. “Look, you don’t have to deal with this, Tiny- this is your house, and no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home. All you have to do is say the word, and I can make him go away.”

Sol paused for a moment, then let out a deep sigh. “No, it’s okay,” she muttered, folding her fingers together. “You can let him in.”

_ _

* * *

Sol had a headache that was making her temples feel like she’d been swimming in hellfire, but she managed to sit upright and stare at her father, remaining quiet while John was in the kitchen preparing kava. Since no one was saying anything, she took one of the pastries her mom had sent over, unable to stop the happy trill that came from her lips when the tholam berry jam hit her tongue. 

Her father smiled, shaking his head at her. “That pastry always was your favorite,” he mused. “Looks like some things don’t change.” 

She started to say something but then thought better of it, accepting the cup from John and pressing her brow to his. Maybe she did it a little longer than normal, but as Johnny said, this was her house- her father’s comfort was no longer her concern. “Thank you, dear,” she said, smiling at her mate and watching as he set a cup next to the elder turian. “I appreciate it.” 

“No trouble at all,” John replied with a smile, shooting a glance at her father and frowning. “Do you need anything, Tiny?”

She shook her head, running her hand lightly along his cheek. “I’m fine,” she said, ignoring the rumbles building in her father’s throat. “But… do you mind getting our stuff ready while I chat with him?” 

“Course,” he said quickly, giving her a quick kiss. “Besides, it looks like someone is missing their furry little kid.”

She swatted at him, then smiled to herself as he headed off into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. “Why are you here, Daddy?” Sol asked, glancing up at the man across from her. “You’ve made it clear that you don’t approve of my choices and you don’t want me around anymore.” She stared at her cup, unable to look him in the eyes. “But that’s okay,” Sol said quietly. “I was really hurt yesterday, but I know that I still have other people that love me… even if you don’t.” 

“Sol,” Castis said wearily, running his hand over his fringe, “of course I still love you...I just…” his voice trailed off, and he stared at his hands. “I just don’t want this kind of life for you.” 

“What kind of life don’t you want me to have?” Sol snapped, making him flinch. “You don’t want me to have a mate that loves me? You don’t want me with someone who’d do whatever it took to keep me safe and happy?” She leaned forward on her elbows, her gaze sharp and angry. “I suppose you want me with someone like Vartus Bromil, hmm? Does it matter that he thought I wasn’t worthy of anything except becoming breeding stock? As long as he was turian, it didn’t matter if I was happy, right?”

Castis sighed, not looking at her. “Of course I want you to be happy,” he said quietly. “It’s just-”

“ _No_ ,” Sol said sharply, cutting him off. “You _don’t_! You want me to make _you_ happy! If you wanted _me_ to be happy, you’d open your eyes and see that John loves me and I love him! If you really wanted what was best for me, you’d stop trying to get in the way of that!” 

“He’s human!” Castis pleaded, his voice getting higher and higher by the moment. “Humans don’t mate like we do, Sol- what happens if he leaves you?” 

“I won’t,” John said firmly, resting a hand on her shoulder. “I know what mating means- my sister knows it too. I gave Solana every chance to turn me away, and she chose me, sir. That being said, I plan on honoring that choice until I take my last breath- I’m not taking shit lightly when it comes to her.”

“If you hurt her,” Castis snarled, his eyes narrowing as he stared at him, “I will kill you, Shepard. I swear on the spirits of my ancestors you will meet your death at my hand.” 

“If I hurt her, you won’t have to worry about that,” John replied, his tone completely serious for once. “Because I’d probably already taken care of it for you myself.”

Realizing that this was probably as close to an apology or reconciliation as she was going to get, Sol turned to her father and swallowed. “Am I still unwelcome in our family, Daddy?”

You are no longer Clan Vakarian,” he said stiffly, causing her breath to hitch in her throat- John tightened his grip on her shoulder and she clutched him as if he were a lifeline. “But,” he continued, “even if you are Clan Shepard, you are still my daughter… I… I was wrong to say otherwise.”

Instantly, Sol let out the breath that she was holding and her hand flew to her mouth. He hadn’t said he’d forgiven her, and he didn’t seem any closer to accepting John, but it was a start… _it was more than I had before,_ she thought as she got up from her seat, pressing her aching head to her father’s. _And I’ll happily take it._

_ _

* * *

Nana went to the Alliance headquarters, glaring at a stiff-looking Anderson. “Secured the Alenko boy somewhere, have you? I’ll be retrieving him now.”

Anderson sighed. “He’s in holding. _Udina-_ ” He spat the man’s name out, looking as if it tasted like dirt wrapped in shit, “has insisted on keeping him in the medical wing. Says he’s not well.” 

“Could have told him that much first time the kid opened his mouth. Sorry to say, Earth’s ambassador doesn’t quite hold a candle to Justicar justice. The boy abused my charges. That makes his hide mine to do with as I see fit.” Nana grumbled, eyeing Anderson thoughtfully. “Udina doesn’t like how things really work out here, he should come see me. I’ll set him right.”

“Natearus… are you sure you want to deal with all of that?” Anderson asked as they made their way inside. “I get wanting revenge- hell, if I wasn’t bound by my position I’d be inclined to shove him into the nearest wall myself.” He lowered his voice, careful to not let anyone else hear. “They think he’s crazy, ranting about a dead spectre on board… right now, it’s the rumbling of a lunatic… what happens if someone looks a bit closer?”

Nana sighed in mild frustration, “Nihlus is a big boy, can’t keep creepin’ around playin’ zombie-Spectre forever, now can he? Jane and the rest will have to figure somethin’ out if he keeps skirting around reality.” Finally, they stopped in front of a room, and Anderson moved to the side. Her eyes locked on Anderson then and she nodded toward the door before them. “He in there? Strapped down and muzzled, I hope.” 

Anderson nodded, his face grim. “Best Udina could do, and yet it’s more than he deserves,” the captain said tersely, glaring at the walls of the medical ward. “He needs to be rotting in a cell… god, that poor girl.” 

“If his biotics could be stripped, I’d recommend that too. Give him a good reason to whine and complain about his lot in life. A permanent set of biotic dampeners will have to do… maybe shoved right up his butt pucker and clamped in place.” Nana grumbled an agreement in a harsh tone. “Ping my omni-tool if somebody comes this way.” 

Anderson gave the old asari an askew glance. “I promised you could ‘see’ him, Justicar- however, I didn’t say you could kill him in broad daylight… even you can’t get away with that.”

Nana gave him a blank look, blinking at him as if he had just sprouted a third eyeball. “I have no intention of killing this little bastard…. Make him suffer a little… _maybe_. Nothin’ says I can’t snap a couple of fingers though. Call it… protecting my own… and it has nothing to do with revenge, dear. The Code is _very_ specific about the difference between justice and grudges.” Nana gave him a simple nod of her head before turning toward that door. She huffed a short sigh then. “But… to keep the heat off you, I’ll leave him intact… for now.”

Nana entered the dimly lit room, frowning at the sight of the obviously well-cared for soldier sitting on the edge of the bed. Glancing around the room, she noted the obvious unrestricted reign Alenko had here. That idea grated on her last nerve as one hairless brow raised at his casual posture. The dampeners secured around his wrists gave him the freedom to actually use his hands. _Pity.. might have been fun to hear him whine about how he couldn’t even wipe his ass. No restrictions, no guards, no sense... What’s wrong with these idiots?_ Stopping just inside the door, she glared at him and cleared her throat when he seemed oblivious to her presence. “I’m Justicar Natearus T’Loak and your ass is _mine_ , boy!”

Kaidan just looked at her and scoffed. “Oh, it’s _you…_ I was hoping it was that idiot Anderson again- I had _so_ much fun playing with him.” He got a manic grin on his face, then bugged his eyes. “Kryik is back from the dead!” Kaidan screamed at the top of his lungs, banging on the wall. “ _Help! SOMEBODY HELP ME!_ The geth are coming! _They’re in here with me!_ ” Then he waited for a moment and turned to Nana giving her a deathly calm stare and lowering his voice. “I snapped,” he shrugged, moving to sit back down on the bed. “PTSD… the battles were a _trigger_ ,” he said mockingly, folding his hands behind his head. “A few weeks in here, a few therapy sessions there, toss in a little crying, maybe even a breakdown or two... “ 

“What a line of varren shit! Kryik was never dead, you pyjack piece of shit. No corpse, no records... It was _assumed_. And the geth… those are real enough. Your Alliance has all the evidence they need. Parts don’t lie. PTSD… Ha! Sociopathic is more like it.” Nana stepped into the middle of the room and crossed her arms. Her voice took on a sing-song quality when she spoke again. “No one’s gonna believe the poor little snot-nosed brat that had to monologue his entire crazy scheme to the Normandy’s medical assistant. Oh… but you didn’t think about that… when you left the girl alive to rat you out.” 

“It doesn’t matter.” Alenko smiled, the grin looking positively manic and bifurcated by the raised pink scar running down his right cheek. “I mean, I never _killed_ anyone, so I’ll be ‘rehabilitated’ before you know it… and ready to serve my country again!” Alenko gave a mocking salute, a psychotic grin on his face the entire time. “Maybe by that time Jane will get over her fascination with that cuddle-bone and come ride my cock,” he hummed, grabbing his dick and thrusting up into the air, “just like the good little girl she’s supposed to be.”

Nana rubbed her hands together in a washing motion as if she could rub away the disgust this particular human sent raging through her core. Narrowing her eyes, she made sure her voice was just loud enough for him to hear her. “Well now… aren’t you a deranged, xenophobic little fucker. I think I can personally arrange a solution here, say… lifelong residency in the nut ward? Would you like that?” Nana seriously considered warping his mind right there on the spot. Old as she was, she had virtually mastered the ability to ‘embrace eternity’. _He’d still be intact… more or less_ , she reasoned with herself. “You can _dream_ of Jane, but… I think that’s all you’ll be able to do. That little pecker of yours won’t stand to attention very well when I throw a few night terrors in.”

Alenko rolled his eyes, then waved dismissively. “Blah blah blah… tell me another one,” he growled, leaning toward her. “Don’t you idiots get it? I’m fucking untouchable! All I have to do is make one of Uncle Donnel’s ‘problems’ go away every once in a while, and-” he snapped his fingers, reclining back against the bed, “ _boom-_ free little ol’ me…” The soldier giggled manically for a second, then glared at the asari. “So do us both a favor,” he sneered, closing his eyes. “I’m a little… _tense_ after Jane and her little... cocktease, so either get to blowing me or get out, asari- otherwise, you’re wasting my time.” 

“You’re a menace to society,” Nana growled coldly, wrapping him in a restraining biotic field and pinning him where he reclined. “By the Justicar Code, I cannot allow you to remain as you are.” 

“Fuck you and your code,” he sneered, bucking against the restraint. “I could give a shit.”

The moment Nana was certain he couldn’t move, she crossed the room toward him. Through his squirming, she gripped either side of his head, digging her thumbs into his temples to make sure he stayed put. The asari steeled her emotions, wrapping herself in a bubble of cold and calm as she glared at him, her voice flat and even. “Do you have anything to say for yourself? Last words? Complaints?”

“I’m not worried about you,” he replied dismissively. “Just know this,” he said coldly, his eyes locking to hers, “when I get out of here… you’re the first person on my list, you blue-faced bitch.” 

Natearus never liked stripping a prisoner of their sanity, but in this case, she knew there was no other choice. “Such a sweet little promise, boy. A pity you won’t be leaving this place.” Nana smiled calmly and closed her eyes for a moment and reached for the core of power her race referred to as ‘eternity’. Opening them again, she knew exactly what he would see. Her eyes would be wholly black to him, her face still as stone. “Look into my eyes,” she said in a hypnotic tone. Ultimately, she didn’t care if he struggled- they both knew it would make no difference. “Your mind is troubled, your dreams are terror, the worst visions your mind can conjure _will_ become your _reality_. You are unable to wake from these nightmares. They haunt your every breath. Every race you despise will rip and slash at your mind until you are nothing more than a shell of what you were. Scream for your soul, boy. No one will hear your cries.” 

Nana grasped Alenko's memories ruthlessly. She examined each and every alien encounter he'd ever had and filtered them, shaping them to her needs. The ones that stood out the most were his memories of Vyrnnus, Garrus, and Solana. She smiled coldly at that and began her work. _A sculptress of the mind,_ that was what her order called her. Now, she twisted those memories and turned them against the boy. Every fear he held close that was even remotely related to them, she distorted- his fears were a ripened field of plenty and she intended to enhance each one of them.

Alenko's mind twisted away from her and she seized it, forcing him to face those twisted nightmares she conjured from the dregs of his sleazy little mind. The images of every turian he had ever encountered mutated into monstrous creatures with razor-sharp, elongated talons. Their hands clawed and reached for him, tearing at the flesh he wrapped himself in within his own mind. With every moment their teeth grew, ripping into him the second he stopped running. His mind was Nana's playground- snarls, growls, and piercing howls of rage and blood lust filled his mind at her behest. In this scenario, Vyrnnus ran after him, his maimed and charred head lolling and bouncing around the inside of his cowl. He slashed at Alenko, gripping him by the throat and tearing strips of flesh from him. The turian dropped him when he grew bored and the boy simply returned to an undamaged state to be maimed, shredded, bitten, or slashed again and again. 

Garrus’s twisted form rose up out of the depths of a quagmire of poisonous liquid to chase after him. The turian heaved black ichor across Alenko’s face the second his talons hooked into his armor. It blistered the boy’s face like acid, dissolving the flesh in dripping rivulets. The human’s screams ripped through the darkened backdrop of his own mind when the turian dropped him. However, the moment the boy regained his feet and his form, Solana’s battered form stepped from the shadows. Snarling, the girl slammed him against a wall and sent a fist through his gut. When Alenko screamed, she slashed his throat wide, licking the blood from her talons.

On and on the nightmare raged through the night of the boy’s mind, a never-ending loop of terror. Grimacing, Nana wove the bands of memory and delusion together so tightly that he would never break free of them on his own. The torment would end only when he drew his last breath in the real world, or unless someone was foolish enough to release him from her work. When she was finished, the asari nearly collapsed from the strain of it all.

“Worth it... if it keeps you away from those kids. More so if it keeps you away from Janey," Nana grumbled before releasing him. She snatched her hands away from him as if she’d been burned. The images were already raging through his mind. Backing away, she watched him for a moment before releasing the biotic hold she’d maintained. After a moment, she turned back toward the door with a sour twist to her lips. "Girl's been through enough without you haunting her every step.”

In her head, Nana could hear screaming, but the only sight that greeted her when she turned around was the twitching and silent man, his blank and soulless expression staring straight ahead and focusing on absolutely nothing at all. 


	59. The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone (except Alenko) returns to the Normandy

_ _

* * *

John looked over at Sol and tried to hide a chuckle- if turians wore sunglasses, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind Sol would’ve chucked on a pair. “I’m going to bed,” she murmured as soon as they got on the ship, clutching the leftover pastries in her hands. “Can you tell Chakwas-”

“I’ll let her know you’re not feeling well,” he said, rubbing her arm. “Go, get a nap in. We’re not leaving for a little bit, so take the time.”

His wife looked at him with relief, then darted toward their room and mumbled a quick greeting to Joker as he walked up. The pilot took note of the turian racing past him, then cocked his head at John. “Seriously? We leave you alone for two days and you found a way to knock up your girl? That’s impressive, Carpenter.” 

From the other side of the hall, Tali snickered, making John’s cheeks flush. “No,” he said tersely, trying to push that thought completely out of his head, “I did not break the laws of biology on one shore leave- she’s just hungover, that’s all.” Glaring at his friend and rolling his eyes, John made his way toward their room to drop off their belongings. “I fucking hate you sometimes, Moreau.” 

“You love me and you know it,” Joker retorted, hobbling slowly behind him and resting against the wall as he dropped their bags in the doorway. Sure enough, Sol had flung herself on the bed, fully dressed- never one to waste time, the turian was already snoring lightly. “Holy shit,” he murmured, looking at Sol with amazement, “that must’ve been one hell of a party- mind telling me why I wasn’t invited?” 

“I wasn’t sure which invitation I should use for a ‘sorry your father disowned you for marrying a human’ party, so we decided to keep it simple,” John replied, turning off the lights and closing the door so Sol could get some sleep. “We’ll make sure to invite you to the next one.” 

“Shit,” Joker muttered under his breath, shaking his head before looking back at the doorway. “How’s she doing?” 

“Better- Yeloris must've put the fear of the almighty into the bastard, because Castis came to our house this morning.” John shook his head as he shot off a message to Chakwas, then sighed. “But she’s not out of the family, now, so I guess that’s an improvement? Said something about her not being clan anymore, though- don’t know what that means, but Sol's too out of it for me to ask her about it right now.”

Joker just stared at him. “I’m sad and yet I’m not that I didn’t hang out with you guys down there. Considering I got the sneaky spectre and BB up there trying not to let anyone know that they’re banging each other’s brains out, some weird old asari striding on the ship and acting like she owns the fucking place, and Wrex trying to hide in the cargo bay, I get the feeling that this was a very interesting trip.” He looked around, then frowned. “All we're missing is Brainy and Gar… which is ironic since we can’t leave without the commander.”

“Yeah, Anderson called her up… apparently, something happened with the Plank- not like he had many marbles to begin with, but what he did have-” John mimed an explosion with his hands, “-are just gone. The asshole is a vegetable right now, so while it’s very much deserved, Janey is kinda pissed because they can’t make him stand trial.” 

“Can’t say I blame her,” Joker grumbled as they made their way into the cockpit. “Personally, I’d like a shot at dick punching the guy, myself.” 

At that, John frowned, finally realizing just how hard his friend was taking the lieutenant’s deception. “He was good at fooling people, Joker… he’d been doing it for a long time- it’s not your fault you didn’t know what he was all about.”

“You knew,” the pilot grumbled. “You saw through the sonofabitch day one, Johnny…how?” 

“Street kid,” he said, closing his eyes as he settled into the chair and waited for his sister. “When everything and everyone is out to get you, you learn to trust the vibes you get. When you don’t have the luxury of a family looking out for you, you learn to do it for yourself.”

John could hear Joker fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat. “Johnny,” he said, “I wasn’t trying-”

“Dude, how long have I known you?” John asked, opening one eye and staring at him. “Seriously, dude… we’re fine. Besides, we got bigger problems for the moment,” he said wearily, closing his eyes again and savoring the silence while it lasted.

Joker stood still, then John heard him swivel around in his chair. “What now, dude? Don’t we have enough problems?”

“Well,” John said carefully, shifting to look at the pilot- Joker was half-listening at this point, too busy checking over the console. “Do you remember my old trainer? The one I used to tell you about?”

“Yeah,” he replied, pausing for a moment to look over at him. “Mean old asari, used to kick your ass at every turn?” John nodded, then Joker shrugged. “Yep… what about her?” 

John sighed, folding his hands behind his head. “That asari we got on the ship… that’s her.” 

Joker froze, then gaped at John. “You’re letting _her_ and Janey on the ship together? Have you lost your mind?” 

“Gets better,” John replied, wishing he had a drink or popcorn- he couldn’t precisely be sure which would be appropriate. “Know why Wrex is playing hide-and-seek right now?” 

“No…” Joker said slowly, his attention fully on John now. “Enlighten me, Shepard.” 

“Cause he used to bang her,” John said casually, watching as his friend’s face went through a gamut of emotions, ranging from shock, confusion, disgust, and finally settling on delight, no doubt thinking over the myriad of things he could tease the krogan about. “And if that image is disturbing as fuck to you, then congratulations- you now officially know how I feel.” 

_ _

* * *

Sol woke up in her bed to a familiar feeling- paws batting at her mandibles. “Hey,” she cooed, opening her eyes and staring at the cat, “how’s my baby boy?” She lowered her head to his, headbutting the kitten and laughing as he nuzzled her back. “You are such a proper turian,” she said proudly, scratching under its chin with her talons. “I missed you.”

The sound of a throat clearing drew her attention to the asari sitting in the chair in the corner. The Matriarch sat with one leg crossed over the other knee, hands folded in her lap as she eyed Sol and the cat thoughtfully. “Been sittin’ here waiting a while now, girl. That little gray fur ball of yours is… entertaining, at least.”  
  
Sol looked over at the asari and blinked. “Um,” she said quietly, groggily rubbing at her eyes, “is it possible that this can wait for a little-”   
  
“Can’t start your training like that, girl. Procrastination is the mother of laziness. Up, let’s go," Nana barked as she got to her feet, clapping her hands at the turian. "John’s already in the cargo bay.” 

“One second!” Sol cried, scrambling to her feet and trying to get her thoughts moving. “I have to feed JC first!”   
  
“The purring little bundle of fur already ate. Not rocket science to guess the stuff labeled ‘cat food’ is his," Nana grumbled as she stared at Sol. "Hop to, girl. We don’t have all day. The sooner you get started, the better that head of yours will feel.” 

“Oh.” Sol nodded, then petted the kitten on the head as she moved to get out of bed. _Well, that didn’t go as I planned_. Truth be told, she didn’t want to start training- if she did, that would mean that this whole thing was real, that she truly was a biotic, and she’d have to deal with this for the rest of her life. _I just want things to go back to the way they were_ , she thought dejectedly. _I never wanted this._

Nana squatted down next to the bed, hands folded between her knees. Her tone was softer than it had been a moment ago. “Look… I get it. Stall for a minute if that’s what you need, but this is happening. It’s real and it ain’t goin’ away.” standing with a crack of her knee, the elder asari nodded and put her hands on her hips. “So… you pet your little kitty and get yourself up. We’ll start this slow.”

“I don’t want to do this,” Sol said miserably as they headed for the cargo bay. “Can’t I just… I don’t know, keep these bracelets on for the rest of my life?” She looked at her wrists, rubbing absentmindedly at the metal there. “I don’t need to use them, right?”

“You sound like your mate,” Nana grumbled.

“I do?” Sol paused as they reached the elevator, nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot. “That can't be- I thought Johnny was always a biotic?” 

“John was a late bloomer, biotics didn’t pop till his late teens- he whined, complained, and threw tantrums for weeks. But, it didn’t make his biotics go away any more than it will yours,” Nana explained as she stopped in the elevator waiting expectantly for Sol to step inside. ”You got no choice here. You gotta learn to control it… at the very least. Unless... you’d _rather_ your head cracks open like an egg...”

“That is _not_ a comparison I want,” Sol grumbled, thinking back to John’s quip about her plates. “Look, I don’t want these powers,” she said softly. “Can we just do whatever we need to in order to make them go away?” Sol asked wistfully, staring at the floor. “I just want to be normal again.”

Nana shook her head in obvious frustration and glared at the girl. “Doesn’t work that way. Welcome to your _new_ ‘normal’, girl. Your biotics don’t make you who you are, but they do make you stronger. Makes you better able to defend yourself against the likes of idiots like Alenko. You ask your mate about the confidence that breeds- he’ll tell ya.”

“I guess,” Sol said glumly, letting out a soft little chirp as the elevator doors opened and John stood in front of them, a beaming smile on his face. _He looks so proud,_ she thought, hanging her head as she followed Nana. _I wish I felt the same._

_ _

* * *

Nana watched the girl all but collapse on a bench that had been tucked into the far corner near the door to engineering. She nodded thoughtfully to herself and ran a hand over her scalp. _Girl’s stronger than she thinks. Hesitant, but to be expected. Lots of promise there… if she just gets her head out of her butt pucker._

Smirking to herself, the asari rubbed her neck as she limped to the elevator. To her surprise, it opened before she got close enough to hit the button and she tilted her head to the side at the krogan stepping out, and her eyes narrowed a fraction as she took in his appearance. “New scars, Wrex?" Nana asked, eyeing her old partner up and down. "They suit you… Hope you ate the bastard that made ‘em.”

“Oh shit!” John exclaimed, shoving Sol and making the young turian let out a sleepy chirp. “Sol, wake up,” he hissed, shaking her shoulder. “We’re about to be in a living vid!”

“Too tired to care,” Sol replied, curling back up on the bench and trying to go back to sleep. “Tell me about it tomorrow.” 

Nana didn’t even bother to look in John’s direction. “Shut it, boy- haven’t seen this lumbering space turtle in… what… four hundred years?” She continued to stare at the krogan who seemed, for a change, completely speechless. “Do I even get a, ‘Hi, how are ya? Thought you were dead?’, Wrex? Or… are you gonna stand there gawkin’ like you’re spooked?”

“I’m gonna kill that pyjack,” Wrex muttered to himself. “Should’ve known better than to listen to him.” Then he rubbed his neck and sighed, finally looking at the asari. “Hello, Tear… it’s been a while.”

Nana snarked and just shook her head at his idea of ‘awhile’. "I guess you could say that… four hundred years worth of a 'while'. Thought you were killed in the Rebellions- shoulda known you were too damn mean to keel over, dear.” 

He shrugged, looking over her shoulder and staring at something in the distance. “What’re you doing down here with the little turian?” 

Nana frowned at his obvious lack of focus and waved a finger in front of his face. “I’m here, Wrex… not over there- your ‘little turian’ is a biotic, so I’ll be trainin’ her for a while… makin' sure she doesn’t kill herself or the rest of the crew.”

Wrex rolled his neck, the bones creaking and cracking loudly. He started to say something, but John piped up, his voice making Nana raise a brow. “Well? Hell, I wanna know this too- why’d you ghost Nana, battle turtle?” 

“If you weren’t her damn mate I’d eat you right now,” Wrex growled, glaring at John, then turned to Nana. “Should’ve found you, Tear… didn’t think about it, and then by the time I did…” he squirmed uncomfortably, glancing away again. “Too late to do anything- I was young and stupid… you know how it is.”

Nana growled at him and leaned in, glaring up into those big red eyes.“You ain’t eatin’ my boy, Wrexie. I don’t care how much he irritates ya.”

“Wrexie?” John snickered, earning himself a tired swat from Sol. “What?” he asked, laughing. “That’s the nicest I’ve ever heard the old woman talk to anyone.”

“Goddess save me from brats like you, boy.” Nana grumbled, but there was a laugh nearly strangling her words. She turned her attention back to the krogan shuffling his feet before her. “I get it, dear… I do. Too young, too fast… but you ran and you shoulda hung around long enough to let me know you were still breathin’. Got some unfinished business between us that doesn’t need extra ears listenin’ in.” Nana glared at John, her mouth set in a hard little line. “That means _you_ , boy.”

John pouted, crossing his arms. “And it was just getting good, too… sure you guys don’t want to share? I mean, everyone is in _my_ business… might as well get involved in someone else’s for a change.” 

“Up to him.” Nana tossed a thumb at the Krogan before her. “Figured he might wanna have this chat in private, but… hell, if he wants to blab and gossip with the likes of you…. So be it… _Ha!_ ”

Wrex looked horrified, then growled at John. “Get out.”

John just stared at him, then turned to Sol. “C’mon, the adults are kicking us out of the room… I don’t want ‘Wrexie’ trying to eat me just because he doesn’t want to share his feelings- that'd be cruel.”

“You got a quad on you, Shepard,” the krogan growled, leaning into John's face. “Let’s see how they work when I beat you and feed ‘em to you.” 

“Please don’t kill my mate,” Sol said sleepily, pushing John toward the elevators. “I’m running really low on family members that aren't angry with me nowadays, so if you could give him a pass, I’d appreciate it.” 

“Control your pyjack, little turian,” Wrex grumbled, muffing her on the head. “Or I _will_ eat him, indigestion be damned.”

“Understood,” she replied, nuzzling her head to his and patting his cheek. “Thanks, Wrex.”

They got on the elevator, and Nana looked at Wrex with interest, tapping her foot and letting out a faint sigh. “What’s with you and ‘the little turian’ bit, Wrex? Thought turians and krogan hated each other.”

Wrex shrugged, moving out of the elevator bay and heading over to his bench. “She’s got a quad,” he said simply. “Found her trying to bully her way on the ship… thought it’d be fun to see the humans when they realized they had a stowaway.” 

Nana cackled at that and shook her head. “You’re so full of shit, boy- more to it than you’re tellin’ me. Turians don’t snuggle up to just anybody like they’re family.” The asari glanced toward the elevator with a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “The way I see it, the girl sees you as a father figure… What’dya do to earn _that?_ ”

Wrex just laughed. “I guess those turians have a low bar- all I did was listen to the girl. Hell, doesn’t hurt that she’s about as dangerous as a wet blanket- that girl is nothing but fluff under all those plates. Needed to give her the chance to let her spurs grow- any idiot could see that she wasn’t gonna do it hiding away back on the Citadel.” 

“Full of contradictions, aren’t ya," Nana snarked softly, eyeing him with a calculating look. "First she’s got a quad and then she’s all fluff.”

“Never said it couldn’t be both,” Wrex huffed. “I just appreciate that she doesn’t act all righteous like most of the others- she’s got a mind of her own… even if it is filled with fluffy little fur creatures sometimes.” 

“Admit it, Wrexie… you like the girl. Maybe you like the idea of playin’ ‘daddy’ for a little while. Goddess knows she needs a stable one.” Nana snickered at the shocked look on the krogan's face. Her smile grew at the expression and she could almost hear him screaming and balking at the idea. She patted his cheek then and nodded as she walked toward the elevator. “Fatherhood suits you, dear. You should try it more often.”

_ _

* * *

Jane headed into the mess hall, feeling tired already. They’d gotten word of a raid that was being mounted against a facility on Virmire in a few days, and the council had asked them to help. After doing some digging with Nihlus, Jane had found out that Saren had ties to the facility- from there, it wasn’t a long shot to figure out that Virmire was going to be their next destination. _No rest for the wicked_ , Jane thought, pausing as she heard voices coming from the mess hall. _Strange… since Planko bit it, I’m usually the only one up this late_. 

Keeping herself hidden, she leaned against the doorframe, surprised to hear the voices of her sister and Ash coming from the mess hall behind them. _I’ll stay here just in case,_ she thought. _If Ash loses her shit on Sol again, I will personally break her fucking arm and beat her with it._

“Are you feeling better?” Ash said, her voice low and soft. “Need me to get you anything?” 

“A new head,” Sol moaned, followed by a soft thump. “Spirits, _everything_ on me aches- why do you people do this? It’s terrible!”

Ash laughed, and Jane heard the sounds of a chair scraping against the floor. “We don’t usually do it to the point where we’re smothering family members, Sol… at least, we try not to.” Sol groaned, but Ash laughed lightly. “Anyway, I’m one to talk- I used to get shitfaced all the time.” 

_That’s an understatement_ , Jane thought, rolling her eyes. _But since when does Ash give a shit about Sol?_ Unable to fight her curiosity, Jane walked into the mess hall and her mouth dropped open when she saw Sol slumped onto the table, with Ash rubbing her back. “Um,” she said, looking back and forth at the two of them, “did I miss something?”

Ash looked over at her for a moment, then turned back to Sol. “She’s exhausted and hungover,” she said simply. “I keep telling her to get something to eat, but she’s just sitting here. I’d do it myself, but…” she turned to the drawer and frowned. “That bitch-ass scumbag fucked it up for everyone… so I’m fighting a losing battle here.” 

Jane nodded, punching in the code for the dextro drawer and handing Sol a few protein bars. “Eat up,” she said, then gestured to the water Ash had set down in front of her. “And drink that… you need it.” When Sol let out a soft trill, Jane rubbed her back. “Long day, sis?” 

“Training,” she croaked. “Everything hurts. Johnny’s in the shower, so I came out here for a minute to try and not die.” 

“Well, take this back to your room,” Jane said gently, helping Sol get to her feet. “I’m sure my brother is probably wondering where you are by now.” She started to protest, but Jane held up a hand. “You’re a new biotic,” Jane said simply. “I’ve seen this with John- you need to eat or that headache of yours is just gonna get worse, sis.” 

“Fine,” Sol grumbled, taking the bars. Then she sighed, turning to Jane and giving her a turian kiss. “Thanks,” she mumbled, looking down at the ground. “Sorry I ruined dinner the other day.” 

Instantly, Jane felt embarrassed and ashamed, looking down at her own feet in order to keep her face hidden. “You don’t _ever_ have to apologize for something like that- if I’d understood how bad the meeting with your dad was, the night would’ve gone a lot different.” When Sol gave a half-smile, Jane kissed her on the cheek. “Talk to you in the morning… make sure you eat, ok?”

Sol nodded as she headed out of the room, and Jane headed back to the cabinets, looking for her own meal. As she rummaged through the doors and checked out all the new flavors, she realized Ash was sitting at the table with a datapad in her hands. “What are you reading?” Jane asked, curious about the woman’s relationship with her sister and her friend. “You’re not usually in here this late.”

“Well, you kept Nih in the comms room with you, so I decided to come out here and read a bit.” Ash smiled, then nodded. “What a shore leave, huh?”

“I’ll say,” Jane muttered, then hesitantly took a seat across from Ash. “Look,” Jane said quietly, running her hand over her hair, “Nih is my friend, Ash… I-”

She cut her off, holding up a hand. “You don’t have to finish that,” she said quickly. “Look, I get it… I was a bitch- I know I wasn’t a good match for Johnny… but I really am glad he found Sol.” Ash sighed, looking down at her datapad. “She’s a good person… well, turian… but you get the idea. Better than me, anyway.” 

“Hell, me too,” Jane replied, making Ash chuckle. “She’s the sweetest thing ever, and even when she’s drunk, she’s fucking hilarious- I just want to wrap her in blankets and cuddle the spiky girl sometimes.” 

Ash pretended to look shocked. “Oh, so it’s not just me?” 

At that, Jane laughed, shaking her head. “Nope… side effect of being Sol, I guess.” She paused, then sighed. “Thanks for being there for her,” Jane said quietly. “I know this has to be awkward as fuck for you, but Sol is a good kid… She doesn’t mean you any harm, Ash.” 

“I know,” Ash replied, sending Jane’s eyebrows into her hairline. “We’ve talked… a lot,” she admitted. “And I know that John is better off with her. And… I’m enjoying where this is going with Nih. I really like him, Jane- I’m not out to fuck over your friend, I promise.”

Jane sighed- this wasn’t her place to tell her this, but someone had to. “Ash,” she said slowly, “do you know about turians and mates?”

“A little,” she replied, staring at her. “He said that they give bond-marks instead of wedding rings, right?”

Jane just stared at her, trying to see if the woman was playing dumb- when Ash's expression didn't change, she felt her stomach drop to her knees. She _really doesn’t know… oh fuck, this is not good_. “Are you serious about him? Like, this is the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with serious?” 

Ash shrugged. “We haven’t gotten that far,” she admitted. “He only asked me to be with him last night… I wasn’t going to say, hey, how about that family now- that would just be crazy.” 

Jane groaned, placing her head in her hands. “Um, let me get this straight," she said slowly, hoping that she might have missed something. "Did he say that you guys were together?” 

The woman across from her stiffened. “I know it might seem strange to you that someone might actually like me, but in this case-”

Unable to take it anymore, Jane just cut her off. “He’s mated with you, Ash- do you know how fucking _serious_ that is?” When the woman just stared at her, Jane smacked herself in the face. “ _Dammit_ , Nih… you should’ve fucking _told_ her!”

“Told me what?” Ash asked tentatively, her back straight and her eyes wary. “What did I need to know?”

Jane sighed, placing her head on the table for a moment before glancing up at the soldier. “Turians aren’t like us, Ash,” she said slowly, watching her face grow paler with every word. “When they mate with someone… they mate for life. So unless you plan on breaking my friend’s heart,” she growled, trying to keep her temper in check, “I hope you realize what you’ve just gotten yourself into.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love awkward reunions... thanks to @Rosebud1773 for letting Nana join the Normandy for a while


	60. Settling Back In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane checks on her crew; Ash and John sit down to talk

_ _

* * *

Jane leaned against the wall, shoving her hands in her pockets as she waited for Nihlus to make his way down the hall. “Took you long enough,” she grumbled to herself, swatting him in the arm when he approached. “You sneaky fucking bastard! Do you _ever_ fucking learn?”

Nihlus looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. “What in the world are you talking about, Jane?”

“Mating with Ash!” Jane hissed, lowering her voice as she scanned the hall. “How could you mate with her and not even tell her about it!” 

“I haven’t-” he started to continue, but the scathing look from Jane made the words die in his throat. “We haven’t had time to talk yet,” he said stiffly. “I was going to take this at a more human pace… for her.” 

“But you _aren’t_ human,” Jane snapped, jabbing a finger into his chest. “You already know you’ve mated to her… don’t you?” He started to look away, but Jane jumped up and smacked him in the head, making the turian growl at her. “Don’t lie to me, Nih.” 

He glared, rubbing his head. “This isn’t your business, Jane.” 

“Oh, I think it fucking _is_ ,” she hissed, pausing for a minute and grabbing his arm. “You two are on a team together on my ship… So, how are you gonna feel if she doesn’t feel the same way, Nih? Did you fucking bother to ask her if she wanted to get married after that shitshow with her and John? Oh, and let’s not even talk about what happens if you’re fucking and you mark her! Don’t you think she’s gonna be a bit pissed off when she finds out you married her without her knowledge?” When Nihlus remained quiet and looked away, she shoved him, hard. “Answer me!”

“I thought you didn’t like her,” he said stiffly, narrowing his eyes at her. “Why is this an issue for you?”

“Because,” she spat angrily, “I’ve _lived_ this, Nih! Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband with all my heart, but having to make that big of a decision on the spot? It’s _hard_ , Nih… and it’s not fair- if Ash is that important to you, then she deserves to know what it means.” 

“And I understand that,” Nihlus snapped, then sighed, rubbing his fringe. “Look… I just want to give her what she wants,” he said slowly, moving his hands behind his back. “She deserves all the human traditions… is it really so wrong of me to want to give them to her?”

“But it is wrong of you to hide how you feel,” Jane replied softly. “I might not have known the implications of it, but I damn sure knew how much he cared about me… and I don’t think Ash can say the same, can you?”

“Probably not,” he agreed, avoiding her gaze. “Look… I know I have to talk to her about it, but I don’t… I don’t want her to have to deal with all of this right now.” Nihlus sighed and glanced down the hall. “I already have issues I need to attend to… but I would like some help, if you don’t mind.”

Jane frowned, then crossed her arms. “Cut the crap, Nih- you’re stalling.” 

“I am,” he admitted, resting his head against the wall. “It’s just… not easy, Jane.” 

She laughed, shaking her head and standing next to him. “Nothing worthwhile ever is… even I know that.” 

_ _

* * *

Joker hobbled into the mess hall, grinning like mad when he saw the old krogan eating his meal. “So,” he said lightly, making sure to stay an appropriate distance away, “you and the asari, huh? What’s that like?” 

Wrex didn’t even look up from his food. “Just like you and your hand… but better.” 

Joker chortled as he went to get something to eat, clapping his hands. “Oh, the old man has jokes! Where has this version of the battle turtle been all this time?”

“Staying away and trying to not murder all the pyjacks on this bucket,” the krogan grumbled, biting angrily into his bar. “You humans are all itching to be broken in two… never thought the turians would be the sanest bastards out here.” 

“Janey might take offense to that,” Joker pointed out as he rummaged through the cabinet. “Thought you always said she was part-krogan?”

“She’s also the only one of you lot with a quad,” he growled. “How she hasn’t spaced you all is beyond me.”

“Because she loves us,” the pilot replied cheekily, his mouth full of a ration bar. “She knows what she’s getting into with us.” Wrex snorted, but Joker just smiled. “Even though you are a large and grumpy motherfucker, I’m glad you’re heading down there with those two… they need an adult in the room to keep their heads on straight.” 

The krogan lifted his head and stared at him. “Explain.” 

Joker sighed, settling into the seat across from him. “They mean well,” he said patiently, looking up at the ceiling and trying to figure out how to best say this, “but Janey and Johnny… haven’t really had anyone looking out for them.”

Wrex frowned. “That ain’t true- Tear loves those whelps… don’t know why. And Anderson seems to have a hard-on for ‘em, too.”

Doing his best to keep his bones in one piece by not commenting on the asari’s nickname, Joker tapped his fingers on the table. “Yeah, but… it’s different,” Joker said, trying to put it into words. “They’re like crazy asari grandma and uncle David… they have their roles to play, but…” Then the pilot looked over to Wrex and smiled. “You… you’re like the crazy uncle,” he said with a grin. “You got their back and you’re willing to get down and dirty to get shit done with them. But,” he said, brandishing his bar at the krogan, “you also give them advice without them even realizing it- it’s like a fucking mind trick.” Joker shook his head and chuckled. “Never seen anyone guide Jane Brain to doing anything without having to ram her head against the wall fifteen times before she even considered it.” 

“Just proves she’s krogan,” Wrex replied with a laugh, moving in the chair and making the metal creak beneath him. “She’s a strong leader- the kid knows what she wants and fuck everyone else.”

“Yeah, well sometimes ‘fuck everyone else’ isn’t the way to do things and you know it,” Joker retorted, fixing the krogan with a pointed look. “Admit it, battle turtle… you got a soft spot for that bunch.” 

“Maybe I do,” Wrex admitted, getting up from the chair and fixing him with his red stare. “But you’re forgetting one thing, whelp.”

Joker smiled, folding his hands behind his head. “Oh? And what is that?”

The krogan leaned down, pressing his face inches away from his. “Just because I like them… it doesn’t mean that I like you.”

_ _

* * *

Jane watched as Nihlus stood in front of the soldier’s cot, his posture and expression stiff. When he didn’t say anything, Jane just shook her head and sighed. “How are you feeling, Jenkins?”

The young soldier shrugged, watching as Sol took his vitals. “Physically, I’m fine- this little lady and the doc have done a bang-up job fixing me up.” He smiled at Sol, who smiled back, patting his arm. “Mentally…” Jenkins shrugged and looked down for a moment before glancing up at Jane. “Might take a little longer to deal with that.” 

“That’s understandable,” Nihlus said, looking over at Jenkins. “But why not take leave? We were at the Citadel- you were well within your rights to do so.”

At that, his face grew hard and he stood up straighter, looking the spectre in the eye. “Did you?” The turian stared at him for a moment, but the soldier didn’t back down. “When your friend tried to kill you, did you quit, or did you keep going?”

Nihlus stiffened- Jane could tell he wasn’t used to being talked to in this way. “I saw no reason to stop- this effort was of vital importance.” 

Jenkins held his face firm, staring at the turian with a steady gaze. It was almost hard to believe that this was the same fresh-faced recruit that had practically been bouncing on his feet to go into battle. “And can you look me in the eye and tell me that you’re honestly one-hundred percent ok? Can you say that you don’t look around the corners and expect to see him waiting for you to finish the job, or feel that same terror that you’re about to die when you close your eyes?” Nihlus looked away, but the young man wasn’t done. “I know you do… because I do,” he snapped. “And you’re too much of a good man to lie about it, and you’re too good of a soldier to quit- just like me. Sometimes,” he said shakily, looking down at the ground, “there are just some things that are more important than how you feel. This fight… this battle… it’s one of them.” 

“Jenkins,” Jane said, her voice much softer than normal, “are you _sure_ you want to go back out there? No one is going to fault you for needing more time. Alenko was your friend-” the words made her chest tighten- thinking about the man brought a bitter taste to her mouth. _A mental breakdown is awfully fucking convenient for that bastard,_ she thought angrily, looking at the young man in front of her, her eyes roaming over to the glint of metal on her sister’s wrists. “No one expects you to be ok right now.”

“I don’t have time to not be ok,” he snapped back. “Saren started this shit, and I signed up to fight that. I’ll be damned if I let some bastard take that away from me.” Jenkins stopped, then smoothed his hair, waving Sol away when she looked at him with concern. “Don’t worry about me, Commander... I’ll be fine.”

“Well,” Nihlus replied, shuffling his weight from foot to foot, “Alenko notwithstanding, your performance was excellent on our last mission, Jenkins.” He looked at the soldier and folded his hands. “I do still have room on the B-team,” he said stiffly, glancing over at Jane, who nodded. “If you want to take part in the next ground mission, I’d be happy to have you.” 

For a moment, the weary man in front of her vanished, and all Jane could see was the eager young private who was chomping at the bit to go down on Eden Prime. “It would be an honor, Spectre Kryik,” he replied happily, looking back and forth between Nihlus and Jane. “And I won’t let either of you down… I promise.” 

_ _

* * *

After Jane and Nihlus had left the room, Sol came back over to the soldier, trying to figure out just what to do. The man hadn’t really moved from his spot on the cot and was staring off into the distance, the expression on his face telling her his thoughts were far away. “Um,” Sol said quietly, hoping not to startle the young man, “is there anything you need?”

Instantly, the soldier jumped. “Oh! I didn’t mean to worry you, Miss Vakarian,” he said quickly, then caught himself. “Oh, shit, I mean Mrs. Vakarian? Or is it Mrs. Shepard?” Jenkins scratched his neck, then gave Sol an awkward grin. “Sorry, I don’t mean to offend you...I’m just not sure how this kinda thing works, that’s all.” 

Sol laughed, a soft hum rising up in her throat- outside of her friends, the private was the first one to acknowledge her bonding. “If we’re sharing, I’m not that sure either,” she replied, perching on a cot across from the soldier. “It’s very new to me as well.” 

“Well it couldn’t have happened to a nicer gal,” he replied, his smile bright and honest. “Congratulations, ma’am.” 

“You tried to save my life,” Sol said pleasantly, smiling at the young man. “I think you’ve earned the right to call me Sol, Jenkins.” 

“Then you can call me Ritchie,” he said, extending his hand. “Pleased to meet you, Sol.” 

She took his hand, then smiled as the man shook hers enthusiastically. “I never did get the chance to thank you… for everything.”

He frowned, then ran a hand over his closely-cropped hair. “Not like I did anything,” he said grimly. “All I did was get knocked out by a guy I thought was my friend.”

“Not many humans would go against their friend for a turian,” Sol replied, running her hands over her bracelets. “I think that was pretty darn heroic.” 

Jenkins blushed, pushing himself off the cot and getting to his feet. “It’s the right thing to do,” he said firmly, staring at Sol. “No one deserves that kind of thing- what kind of soldier would I be if I didn’t try to stop it?”

Sol stared firmly at the young man. “I happen to think you’re a very good one,” she said sharply. “Regardless of what happened… you have my gratitude and I will forever be thankful to you.”

_ _

* * *

John was in the cargo bay, watching as Garrus tinkered with the Mako. The turian’s legs were sticking out from beneath the vehicle, and John had to fight the urge to giggle every time he saw a two-toed foot flexing in the air as his partner muttered to himself about something or other that was wrong. “Your sister has done more damage to this thing than humanly possible,” he grumbled. “I let her drive for _five minutes_ and I’m still picking pieces of geth out of this thing! Why is she like this?”

“Might be because we all didn’t have military instructors teaching us how to drive,” John said teasingly. “You kinda learn on your feet when you have to steal your wheels, dino cat.” 

“Firstly, I’ll have you know my mother taught me how to drive.” Then Garrus slid out from beneath the Mako and stared at him. “And sometimes I can’t be sure if you’re joking or serious, Shepard… this is one such occasion.” 

John sighed, leaning against the wall. “Wish I was joking,” he replied. “Janey hacked locks, I stole the wheels- we made quite the team of thieves back in the day.” 

“I never knew that,” a voice interrupted from behind them, causing both John and Garrus to look up. “Kinda funny when you realize that you know the least about the person you thought you knew better than anyone else.” 

John sighed, glancing over at Garrus, who slid back underneath the vehicle. “Yeah, not the kind of thing you share with the military brat,” he replied, offering Ash a wan smile. “Didn’t think you’d be interested in hearing about how me and Jane Brain boosted cars or how I mixed Red Sand to make sure we had food on the table- those stories don’t tend to go well with holiday dinner.”

“Suppose not,” she said quietly. “Garrus, I’m sorry to interrupt you guys, but do you mind if I steal Johnny for a few minutes?” As soon as the words left her mouth she paused, and John could see her press her lips together. “I won’t start a fight, I promise.” 

“If you did, I’m sure his mate would handle it,” Garrus replied from beneath the Mako. “But in any case, take him- he’s absolutely useless as a helper anyway.”

“I’ll have you know I’m an amazing helper,” John retorted, making Ash snort from the doorway. “But fine- I know when I’m not wanted… I’ll take my talents elsewhere.” 

“Good riddance,” came the reply, followed by a muffled rumble as John kicked the turian lightly in the shin. “Stop being a brat and check on my sister when you finish, would you? I hear she’s got training today.” 

“Nana banished me,” he said with a scowl as he wiped off his pants. “Said I was too much of a distraction.” 

“I can’t imagine why,” Garrus intoned dryly, making John groan. “How could anyone think such a thing about the great John Shepard?”

“I’m leaving now,” John shot back, then smiled at Ash as he walked over to the woman. “Where to, Ash?”

“Um, this is kinda private,” she said slowly, looking at her feet. “Will Sol get mad if I asked you to come to my room?”

“A better question would be if Kryik would try to tear my head off for it,” John teased, making Ash chuckle. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you- and personally, playing ‘make the big, spiky dude jealous’ game doesn't seem like a winner to me.” 

“Actually, that’s the kinda thing I wanted to talk to you about,” she said as the doors closed. “Besides Jane, you’re the only one that might understand…”

“And we both know there’s not a shot in hell of you talking about this kind of thing with my sister,” John finished as the doors opened, earning a nod from Ash. “Fine- come back to my room… JC can be our chaperone.” 

Ash giggled. “And he’ll be a fine one, at that.” After twisting her hands behind her back for a minute, she nodded. “Let’s go.”

As they walked, John sent off a message to Sol letting her know what was going on, and sat on the bed, gesturing for Ash to have a seat in the chair across from him. “So, spill- what’s so important that you had to talk to me, of all people? If you wanted to have a heart to heart, I’m sure one of your sisters would’ve been available for a vid call, Ash.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment- she just stared at her feet, then reached down to scoop up the cat. “Why did you propose to me, Johnny?”

John felt like someone had hit him in his gut- he wasn’t expecting that question. “Um,” he said nervously, “I’m married, Ash- I don’t think-”

Ash shook her head. “No… it’s not like that,” she said firmly. “I just need an answer to the question, Johnny- can you do that for me?”

John sighed, flopping back against the bed and smiling, inhaling the faint scent of cinnamon on the sheets. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “We’d been dating for years, Ash- it just… seemed like what I was supposed to do, I guess.” John turned to look at her, expecting to see anger or sadness, but she was just sitting calmly and petting JC. “All your family just sort of kept hinting at the fact that it was what you wanted, so…” He let his voice trail off, feeling terrible at the memory. “I just thought it was what people did.”

“And Sol?” Ash asked, raising her eyes to his. “How did you know she was the one for you?”

“Well,” he said thoughtfully, his hand moving to his shoulder and tracing the bond-mark beneath his shirt, “we’ve been friends since the day we met.” John smiled, thinking about how she looked, laughing at him as they sat across the table from each other at lunch that day. “And we’d talk about everything,” he said, shaking his head. “I’d send her stupid messages, she’d send me funny vids… and one day, I accidentally let a bit of information about my past slip out.” 

“That doesn’t sound like the John I know,” Ash said quietly. “You held onto that whole part of your life the entire time I knew you… do you think you might’ve been trying to let her in?”

John paused, mulling over her words for a moment. “Could be,” he admitted. “I think… I just wanted a real friend. Someone who knew who I really was and didn’t care… like Gar and Janey.”

“Did she?” Ash asked, letting the cat hop out of her lap as she leaned forward, looking at him attentively. “Did Sol judge you for it?”

“Hell no,” John replied, laughing at the memory. “Here she was, a C-Sec Liason’s daughter, laughing and asking me to tell her more stories about my old ways.” He shifted, bringing himself up on his elbows. “Gradually, I just started telling her more and more, and listening to her stories.” He shook his head, then smiled sheepishly. “And when I heard that someone else was trying to get her to settle down with them… it … it hurt,” he admitted. “It felt like I was about to lose the most important thing in my life, and I… I vowed to let her know just how much I cared about her, even if she didn’t see me in that same way.” 

“But she did,” Ash replied with a smile. “She loves you, Johnny.”

“And I’m the luckiest sonofabitch on the planet for it,” he said firmly, his grin a mile wide. “Why she decided to spend the rest of her life with me, I’ll never know.” 

She sighed for a moment, then looked down. “I hear that turians aren’t like us,” she said slowly. “They don’t get married- they… bond?”

“Yep. One and done,” he replied, nodding. “Pissed me off when I found out with Gar and Janey, but when it came to me and Sol… I never wanted anything more.” John absentmindedly rubbed his shoulder again, then grinned at Ash. “To be fair, it also scared the piss outta me, but hey, that’s to be expected, right?” 

“Isn’t that a big responsibility?” Ash asked, looking up at him and twiddling her fingers. “Knowing that you’re the only one that this person is ever going to feel that way about for the rest of their life? How do you even cope with that? How can you be worthy of that? How is that _possible_ ?” Ash asked, her tone laced with frustration. “One person, just like that? Isn’t that kind of pressure terrifying?”  
  
Starting to realize where all this was going, John sat up. “Me, I was terrified and amazed,” he admitted. “Here I was, this fuckup little human, and this amazing woman is just looking at me like ‘yup, he’s the one. That’s my husband, no question’- it’s awe-inspiring.”

Ash nodded and bit her lip, pausing to think for a moment. “Can I see your bondmark?” she asked quietly, pointing to his shoulder. “What’s it like?” 

“Oh,” John said, moving the collar of his shirt over so she could see the raised and reddened skin there. “It’s not gonna win any awards for aesthetics, but if you want to see it here it is.”

She didn’t reply- instead, she just got to her feet and walked over to him, staring at the mark on his shoulder. She started to touch it but drew her hand back at the last second- it must’ve still looked painful. “Can I?”

“Knock yourself out,” he said, wincing as she ran her finger over the impression of Sol’s teeth in his skin. “Only hurts a little now.” 

“And you did this… for her,” Ash asked, walking back over to her seat as he adjusted his shirt. “Like, you’re not scared it’s too fast or too sudden?” 

“Ash,” he said, unwilling to let her stall any longer. “You either feel the same or you don’t- fuck expectations,” he said firmly. “Do you love him?” 

She blinked, not expecting him to ask her that kind of question directly. “I don’t know if I should say this to you,” Ash replied sheepishly, gripping the hem of her shirt. “Isn’t that awkward for you?”

“You just touched the part of my shoulder where my wife took a chunk out of me and _now_ you want to talk about awkward?” John scoffed, then shook his head. “Cut the shit and answer the question, Ash- do you love him?”

“Would it be weird if I thought I did?” Ash asked, staring nervously up at him. “Like, does it just seem desperate or stupid to you?” 

“Like I said, fuck expectations,” John repeated, his grey eyes locked to hers. “If he asked you to spend the rest of his life with him right now, what would you say?” 

“Yes,” she said, going flame red as soon as the words left her lips. “Oh god, this sounds so stupid, Johnny- like, I barely know him! What if he turns out to be a psycho killer or something?” 

“You already _know_ he’s a killer,” John said pointedly. “He’s a spectre, for fuck’s sake- you’ve known that since day one. He’s never hidden anything about himself- why the hell are you making excuses now?” 

“Because I’m scared!” Ash yelled, her eyes welling up with tears. “What if I’m not worthy of that kind of love, Johnny? What then?”

“I’ll tell you a secret,” John replied, getting up and handing her a tissue. “You’re right- that kind of love makes you scared, makes you think you aren’t worthy at first, but then… you realize that you’ll do whatever it takes to _become_ worthy. You start to understand that their love is the greatest gift you could ever get because it _doesn’t_ come with any restrictions. There’s not any of these ‘if I fuck up she won’t love me’ notions you usually have running through your head, but you don’t abuse it.” He closed his eyes and folded his hands, resting his chin on his fingers. “Instead, you never want to fuck up, because the idea of hurting them is so fucking painful you’ll do anything to avoid it.” 

Ash started to protest, but John continued. “Ash, if you love him, then do whatever is going to make _you_ happy...not _him_ ,” he said pointedly, “but _you_. Hey, if you can honestly say that you’d be perfectly okay without him in your life, then you have your answer. _But_ , if the thought of losing him _hurts..._ and I’m not talking about your pride, but your very _soul_ , then stop being an idiot and tell the man!” He frowned at her, hoping she’d get the point. “Turians wait on the woman to decide,” he said pointedly, “so the balls in your court, Ash- time to do whatever you think is right.” 


	61. What comes after?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virmire, Pt. 1

_ _

* * *

Nihlus loomed over the comms desk, his shoulders tight. Every time he went over the details in Jane’s file, he felt a growl rise in his throat. Jane had cleaned up the transmission as best she could, but all they could make out was that Kirrahe from the STG was on Virmire with his team... and so was Saren. _He’s there_ , he thought, closing his eyes and gripping the desk, _he’s there and I can finally stop him_. 

He was so lost in his own thoughts that for once, Nihlus didn’t notice Ash until her scent washed over him and her hands slipped around his shoulders, gently massaging the spaces beneath his cowl. “Hey… you ok, Nih?” 

Shifting his head to look at her, he couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face. “Better now,” Nihlus replied, rumbling softly as she pressed her head to his. Confused, he cocked a brow-plate at her. “You’ve never initiated that before.”   
  
Ash grinned, then yelped as he pulled her into his lap. “That was before Sol told me that turians kiss like that,” she replied, resting her head against his. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t think about it,” he answered, closing his eyes and willing himself to calm down. “But I’m glad you know.” 

He could hear her take a breath, almost as if she were going to say something, but then she stopped and pressed a kiss to his nose. “What’s got you so worked up?”  
  
“This mission,” Nihlus admitted, shifting her in his lap so he could rest his head against her and sighing. “We got him… Saren is here, Ash- I can finally catch him.” 

“Good,” she grumbled, threading her hand in his. “Fight you for him- I owe that bastard one.”   
  
Nihlus smirked as he nuzzled her neck. “You’ll lose,” he rumbled, laughing when she punched him in the arm. “Haven’t I already shown I can put you on your back, Ash?” 

“Oooh, big accomplishment- you act like I’m not willing to get on my back for you,” she retorted, laughing as he pressed his lips to her throat. After a moment, her laughs quieted down and she sighed, closing her eyes. “When this is over… what do you think you’re going to do?”

He paused, thinking over her question for a moment. “I.. I don't know,” he replied honestly, running his hand up and down her arm. “I’m technically free- according to the council, I’m dead.” Nihlus shook his head as he thought a bit more. “And I don’t have any family, so-”

“You have me,” Ash interrupted, placing her hand on his. “I’m here, Nih. I... I would want to see where this goes... after we deal with Saren.”  
  
Nihlus shifted in his seat, glancing up at her. “I thought we decided where this would go, Ash.”

She smiled, then wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s one thing while we’re on a ship, Nih… what about after? When we’re in different places? When I’m serving? When you’re off doing… who knows what?” Ash sighed, then rested her head on his shoulder. “Who knows, you might be off on your travels across the galaxy and find a sexy turian out there that might be just perfect for you.”

He shook his head, then lightly nipped her neck. “I can say with absolute confidence that what you’re proposing won’t happen,” he said firmly, tilting her face to his. 

“How?” Ash asked, her eyes darting across his face, looking as if she was trying to read his thoughts. “How can you be so sure?” 

Nihlus smiled, then closed his eyes as he pressed his head to hers. “Because I’ve already found you.” 

She started to say something, but she was cut off by Joker’s voice booming through the speakers, announcing that they were approaching Virmire. Ruefully, she looked up at the ceiling, then smiled back at Nihlus. “Looks like our chaperone is breaking up the party,” she said teasingly. “Rain check? Till we get back?” 

“Of course,” Nihlus replied, gently kissing her lips. “Anything you want, Ash.”

_ _

* * *

“Holy shit,” John said as he stared out the window at the looming defense structures around Saren’s base, “those fucking towers are massive! What the hell are we supposed to do?” He glanced over at the pilot, who was frowning. “We can’t go in like that- we’ll be shot on sight, Joker.” 

His friend glared at him, then turned back to the controls. “Why Johnny, I didn’t know you became an expert pilot while I suddenly lost all capability to reason! Oh please, _do_ tell me about how I should be flying my ship... since you’ve now learned how to do my job?” 

John rolled his eyes. “Jackass,” he hissed, then hit Jane on the comms. “We can’t bring the Normandy in like this, sis- we gotta come up with something else.”

“Or… we could just drop the Mako in,” Joker mused, turning to look at John. “I mean, they invited us- might as well bring the fight to them, right?”

Instantly, John’s eyes widened in understanding and he raced out of the cockpit, almost colliding with Nihlus. “We gotta go in under the radar,” he panted, his pulse racing. “Get your team ready while I go find Jane, Kryik.” 

“Jane and my team are suiting up… as you should be, Shepard.” He inclined his head toward the armory. “Go… we’ll be ready- I’ve been waiting too long for anything else.” 

“Right.” Giving the spectre a nod, John hurried off toward the elevator, only to be stopped by the nervous-looking face of his wife. “Hey,” he said, his voice full of concern as he paused to give her a kiss, “what’s wrong, Tiny?”

She held his arm as he pressed the button for the elevator, then let out a nervous hum. “It never hurt this bad before,” Sol whispered, her grip tight around his arm. “I know you have to go… and I wouldn’t stop you from going, but…” her voice trailed off, and she lowered her gaze. “But I hate it… I’m terrified you won’t come back, Johnny.” 

John tried to lighten the mood as the car crept down toward the armory, pressing his head to hers. “Trust me, I didn’t get hitched to ditch you, Tiny- I mean, we haven’t even fully lived together yet? You don’t even hate me a little… gotta give you the chance to get the full experience, right?” 

Sol chuckled, but she didn’t release her grip. “Promise me you’ll come back,” she whispered, her blue eyes wide with fear. “I can’t lose you, Johnny… I need you with me.” 

He could see the sparks of blue energy building on her skin- without a second thought, he pulled her into his arms, resting his head against her. “I’m coming back,” he replied, rubbing her back. “I’ve been on missions before, Tiny- why are you so upset now?”

“You’re my mate,” Sol said sadly, running her hands through his hair and not stopping even when the door opened. “It _hurts_ ,” she whispered, staring up at him. “The thought of something happening to you physically _hurts_.” 

He started to play it off, but he remembered how he felt when he saw her losing control of her biotics. The feeling of helplessness as he stood outside the door, his heart thumping in his chest as he watched her screaming in pain… _yeah, she’s not lying,_ he thought sadly, bringing his finger to her cheek. _That shit hurts… and I don’t ever want to feel that again_. 

“When we take this fucker down,” John said slowly, running his finger over the markings on her face, “we are going home and we are not coming out for a week, understand?” When she laughed, John gently lowered her face to his. “We are going to do this proper, ok? We’re going to have a big celebration for all our family and friends, and I’m asking my sister to do whatever hacky thing she has to do in order to make this legal. You are Mrs. Vakarian-Shepard,” he said firmly, staring at Sol with love and adoration, “and I want the entire world to know it.” 

“Or,” Sol said quietly as a throat cleared from across the room, “I could just be Solana Shepard… would that be so bad?”

“No,” John replied, feeling his chest swell with pride as he forced himself to let her go, “it definitely wouldn't be.”

_ _

* * *

Sol sat in the mess hall, taking heaving breaths as she clutched her cup. She’d stared at the cargo bay long after the team had gotten into the Mako, only moving when Tali had insisted that she needed to be out of the area when the doors opened. Thinking that it might make her feel better, the quarian had guided her to the cockpit to sit with Joker- however, the moment that she saw the team going up against the squadron of geth, the pilot had politely yet promptly kicked her out, saying that she didn’t need to be seeing this and he’d let her know if something happened. 

_Useless all around_ , she mused as she stared at the table, tracing patterns with her talons. _My mate is down there and there isn’t a thing I can do to save him. Gar has Janey’s back… what can I do?_

Unable to stop herself, Sol let out a keen as she lowered her head to the table, the emotions flooding her system. _How do they do this_ , she thought, wrapping her arms around herself. _This feeling burns like hellfire._

Suddenly, there was a noise behind her- instinctively, Sol snapped her head up, searching for its source. When she apparently wasn’t moving fast enough, Nana cleared her throat and tapped her foot insistently until the girl looked back at her. “Um... hi, Nana,” Sol said carefully, looking over at the sour look on the asari’s face. One glance told her that the woman knew exactly what was going through her mind. “Is there something I can do for you?”

“Well... you can stop mopin’, girl. That’d be a start,” Nana said as she came over to the table and took a seat across from her. “Or… you can tell me why you’re about to split my eardrums with the keening.”

Sol swallowed, then looked back down at the table. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I’ll go to my room now.” 

Nana heaved a sigh at the turian’s despondent suggestion.“That’s not what I asked, girl. But I think I know the answer… maybe know a way to distract you while he’s gone too.”

Sol nodded, feeling emotionally spent. “Nana, you know about bonding, right?”

Nana’s fingers danced along the high collar of her tunic and she nodded, tugging it down to reveal a very old scar. “I do.”

Sol’s eyes widened as she stared at the scar, then turned to look at the old asari. “How do you do it, Nana? How can you stand to be away from them like this?”

“A breath at a time, dear.” Nana sighed and shook her head before looking the turian in the eyes again. “He’s been gone twenty-one years now… and I still miss him.”

“I’m so sorry,” Sol whispered, looking at the woman and fighting the keen that threatened to break free. Swallowing, she looked away, her fingers nervously running over her own bond-mark. “What… what was he like?” Then her hand flew to her mouth and she let out a nervous-sounding trill. “I mean… I’m not trying to pry- I’m just-” 

“Oh, it’s alright, girl. Nobody asks about Terlo Quanoxin anymore.” Nana rested her chin on her hand and looked the turian’s face over for a minute before continuing. “He was… well, he was stronger than his clan gave him credit for. Made it through the loss of his first bondmate.”

Sol frowned, then cocked her head. “I thought… I thought we only get one mate?”

“Most only get one, it’s true. A bonding for love is… once in a lifetime. But… sometimes… the bond is done for clan reasons….” Nana’s expression hardened just a bit as her eyes bored into Sol for a second. “You know that though… with a father like yours.”

“Yeah, I'm aware,” Sol said bitterly, the memory of that disastrous meeting still fresh in her mind. “His first was for clan, I take it.” 

Nana nodded and rubbed at the back of her neck. “It was. He never wanted it. He was already fifty when his clan forced the match. Girl died in childbirth bringin’ their only daughter into the world.” Nana sighed and smiled at Sol then, clearly remembering the turian. “I’d call him brave, honorable, and downright fierce when he needed to be.”

“I’d say,” Sol replied, noting the pride on the asari’s face. Then, just for a moment, the old woman’s face fell, causing Sol to lower her gaze. “What happened to him?” 

“Corpalis Syndrome… watched his memories just… fade away… a little at a time. Ladled out of him like so much soup. He slipped away from me, away from his life…. Away from Lilfrey. It was… painful to watch.” Nana blinked hard and wiped at her eyes as she looked away from the turian before her. “Wasn’t much left of who he used to be when the end finally came.” 

Sol moved over to the asari, placing a hand on Nana’s arm and lightly nuzzling her head. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, trying to send a comforting rumble over the older woman. “He knew he was loved… I’m sure of it.”

“I never left his side… stood vigil over him at the end.” Nana patted the girl’s hand and heaved a cleansing sigh. “He was a good man, had a good life… strong biotic.”

“Like me and John,” Sol said quietly, looking to Nana for confirmation. When Nana nodded, Sol sighed. “Only difference is that John’s strong and I’m not… I’m not a help to him out there.”

“You never bothered to ask the results of your evaluation, girl. How do you know?” Nana gave her a snarky smile.

Sol shrugged. “Because I can’t do anything,” she said glumly, holding up her wrists. “I’m not good enough.” 

“Not while you’re sittin’ here wallowin’ in self-pity. You put that Alenko boy into a titanium wall, girl,” Nana prodded her gently. “Left dents in it from his armor- do you have even an inkling of the level of strength that takes?”

“I’m guessing that’s not common?” Sol asked, looking at the glint in the asari’s eye. “I just thought that was because I never used biotics before.” 

“ _Goddess_ , you really don’t know…?” Nana huffed a laugh at the bewildered look on Sol’s face. “You’re every bit as strong as that mate of yours… you just need training to control it. I should have seen it when you were just a chick… my mistake for not pushin’ ya harder. But, are you ready to train now? So you can protect that mate of yours… from himself?”

“Do you really think Johnny needs me?” Sol asked, fingering the cuffs on her wrist. 

"That boy can't even tie his own bootlaces most days without help. What do you think?” Nana let out a faint cackle and shook her head. “If you’re out there with him… maybe he’ll be able to actually _find_ his own ass.”

Sol scowled for a moment, then smiled when Nana smirked at her. “Could I actually help and not get in the way out there?” She sighed nervously, then looked up. “I don’t want him to have to do this again,” she murmured, glancing out at the medbay. “But I don’t want to leave him either.”

“You come train with me… and put some real effort into it this time. You’ll see I’m not one to bend the truth. We’ll get you some skills and discipline… that suits _you_. Tuck that under your belt and prove your worth. Think you need to prove it more to yourself than your mate… or the rest of this crew though.” Nana said softly, continuing to smile at the girl, her head still resting on her knuckles. “That mate of yours will be _proud_ of what you can accomplish.”

“I know,” Sol said quietly, fingering her bond-mark again. “Johnny’s proud of me already.” 

_ _

* * *

As she looked around at the faces in the Mako, Jane felt like she had left the ship loaded for bear. Garrus and John were sitting on either side of her, Ash and Nih were sitting up front, and Jenkins was sitting on the other side next to Wrex. When Jane glanced over at them, the poor private looked as if he were trying very hard to keep his composure. “Well,” Jane said brightly, looking over at her nervous-looking brother, “we all set to end this shit?”

“Definitely,” John grumbled, staring straight ahead and frowning. “Joker should be at the camp by now- how far out are we?”

“Nervous about the missus, Shepard?” Wrex teased, a glint in his red eyes. “What, the whelp can’t stand to be away from the little one for more than five seconds? Do you need a hug?”

“Not everyone likes to bang and bounce like you, Wrex,” John shot back, earning a snort from Joker over the comms- everyone else just stared at each other, obviously confused. “I’ll have you know I actually like my wife, thank you very much!” 

Jane sighed, not wanting to amplify the nerves- she knew how it was to be separated from Garrus, and she could only imagine how her brother was feeling. “Sol is fine,” she whispered, placing a hand on his leg. “The Normandy made it in and we’re approaching the camp. Plus,” she said with a sigh, “she’s got Nana with her, and we both know that asari is too mean to die without taking everything in the galaxy with her.” 

“True,” John replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “Small comforts, right?”  
  
Jane shrugged. “Something positive had to come from that woman being on my ship.” John snorted and bumped her shoulder, and she grinned and shoved him back. Then, she thought about it for a moment, taking off her glove for a moment, then gesturing for him to do the same. Wordlessly he complied, and Jane took his hand in hers, scratching out ‘we got this’ in his palm. 

John just smiled at her, squeezing her hand. “Haven’t done that in a while,” he murmured. “Why now, Jane Brain?” 

“Haven’t needed to in a while,” she replied, squeezing him back. “But you looked like you needed it… so I did.”


	62. Formation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virmire, Pt. 2

_ _

* * *

John had to hand it to his sister- she was doing a remarkable job of keeping her cool. The salarian, Captain Kirrahe, was doing his damndest to ream her out about her team being inadequate, but for once, Jane was not rising to the challenge. _If I didn’t know better, I’d swear she was high_ , John mused, wondering exactly how Jane was keeping it together. However, he wasn’t willing to question it- he knew as well as the next man that one wrong word could send his sister’s fist flying into the captain’s face, and he wasn’t in the mood to play mediator at the moment. 

But when the salarian mentioned that Saren had recruited an army of krogan, Wrex came thundering up, his anger palpable. “How the fuck is that possible, salarian?” 

Kirrahe just looked him up and down, apparently unphased by the tons of hulking and enraged krogan towering above him. “It appears that Saren found a cure for the genophage,” he said cooly, ignoring the gasps coming from the Normandy crew. “But it is of no consequence- we will destroy it shortly- the krogan were a mistake we don’t need revitalized.”

 _“The genophage was a mistake!”_ Wrex roared, leaning into the salarian’s face- John could see flecks of spittle fly out of the krogan’s mouth, but Kirrahe was unphased. _“The krogan are not a mistake!”_

“They were,” Kirrahe replied smoothly, not blinking. “As you seem to be proving right now.”

Wrex twisted his face in rage, but Nihlus moved over and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Take a walk, Wrex.” He started to protest, but Nihlus just crossed his arms and stared him down. “I said… _take a walk.”_

Wrex glared at the spectre for a moment before shoving Nihlus out the way, ignoring everyone as he stormed off down the beach. Instantly, Ash was at Kryik’s side, glaring at the old krogan as he started blasting his shotgun at anything and everything at the shoreline. “What the fuck?” she said slowly, turning to John and Jane. “He’s lost his damn mind!”

“He’s krogan,” Kirrahe said snidely. “He cannot help himself- they are creatures of rage, a race of feral beasts that need to be extinct.” Then the captain turned to Jane, his expression neutral. “Please control your pet- I need to plan out a strategy with these meager… _resources_.”

“Call him that one more time and you’ll be coming up with ways to pull my foot out of your ass,” Jane replied cheerfully, her cold eyes a direct contrast to her bright smile. “That’s my crewmate… and I don’t tolerate people disrespecting them- understood?” 

“Call it whatever you like,” Kirrahe replied, walking toward his tent. “I have more important things to worry about right now.” 

Jane scowled at the captain, no doubt about to lose every shred of patience she'd stored up plus next year's supply as well. Nihlus must've also noticed this because he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Go talk to him,” he said, glancing out at Wrex. “He respects you… and no matter what this… _salarian_ thinks, we need him.” 

Jane paused, but John just nodded. “Go,” he said, nudging her toward the beach, “Bring back our battle turtle- we’ll keep an eye on things over here.” John placed a hand out in front of Garrus, who looked murderous at the thought of sending Jane over to the krogan alone. “We don’t need to cause a scene,” he said pointedly, hoping his partner would get the hint. “You got this, Janey.” 

She nodded and made her way down the beach- as soon as she was out of earshot, Garrus yanked up John by the collar. “Why would you send her down there alone!”

“Because,” he said simply, using his biotics to help him pry Garrus’s hands from his clothing, “out of all of us, who _else_ does he respect? If he isn’t in the mood to hear Kryik, who else has a shot besides Sol?”

“I don’t care if you _are_ my sister’s mate,” Garrus growled, shoving John in the chest. “If he hurts her, I will kill you.” 

“All I said was you shouldn’t go with her,” John replied, then flicked his eyes to Garrus’s gun. “But I never said you shouldn’t keep an eye on her.” 

_ _

* * *

Slowly, Jane made her way over to the krogan, being careful to make her presence known- sneaking up on him was probably a good way to get murdered. “Hey Wrex,” she said carefully, moving to where she knew he could see her, “eliminating some more geth for me?

“Go away, Shepard,” Wrex growled. “I don’t want to talk to you.” 

She took a deep breath, then moved closer. “But I need to talk to you, Wrex.” 

The krogan ignored her, so Jane moved closer, hoping that was a cue to continue. However, the moment she took another step, Wrex had moved, leveling his shotgun at her head. “Well,” he growled, staring her in the eyes, “still need to talk to me, Shepard?” 

“Doubly so,” Jane growled back, not moving but keeping her eyes trained on the krogan. Knowing that there was no possible scenario where Garrus did not have his finger on the trigger, she made a slight motion with her hand, the meaning clear- _stand down._ “You know, the last time someone aimed a gun at me, I almost shot him,” Jane said calmly. “But we’re friends, Wrex- get that fucking gun out of my face. You want to shoot someone, then shoot Saren- he’s the one you should be angry with!” 

“Saren made a cure!” Wrex roared. “My people are dying while your Alliance wants to destroy our chance at hope! Our children die every day- our women give birth to the dead, Shepard!” He thrust a finger into her chest, knocking her back- Jane just planted her feet and stared at him. “ _That’s_ what the genophage does,” Wrex spat. “It kills us _twice_!” 

As he huffed and shifted his weight, Jane realized that his shove had left her with enough room to disarm him. _He knows I could steal that gun from him right now… hell, he went over this move with me_. “I’m your friend, Wrex- that shit isn’t a cure, it's a curse and you know it!” 

Wrex snorted, letting the gun shift off its mark again. “Help me out, Shepard- the line between friend and foe is getting pretty blurry from where I’m standing.” 

“Have you been sleeping through all these battles?” Jane screamed, shoving him back- the force didn’t move him an inch, but he just glared at her. “These ‘cured’ krogan aren’t your people and you know it, Wrex!” Not taking her eyes off him, Jane thrust her hand at the facility. “Are you gonna lie to me and tell me they are? Cause if that’s the truth, then you’re damn right I say blow the bitch up, cause those ain’t the kind of krogan I want running loose and under this dickwads control! _You_ are krogan, Wrex- I don’t want that shit for you! And besides, if Saren ‘cures’ the genophage, what difference does it make? He’s gonna kill us all- are you really willing to be _that_ fucking petty to let all of us die? Cause I’m not!” 

“THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!” Wrex roared, stepping back into her face- Jane made the hand signal again. “This is a chance we need to take!” 

“I’m one of the smartest bitches you know, Wrex!” Jane roared back, not giving the krogan an inch. “If I can find that data for you, then you know _damn well_ I will! But I _cannot_ and _will not_ let you decide the fate of the galaxy like this!”

They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them moving- the only sounds were from the water and their breathing. Finally, Wrex huffed, lowering his gun. “How long were you gonna let the turian keep his sights on me, Shep?” 

“Until you got some sense in that thick head of yours,” Jane replied, looking him up and down. “Did you _really_ have to pull a fucking gun on me, Wrex?” 

He shrugged. “It was instinct- couldn’t back down though.” Wrex nodded at Jane with approval. “Always knew you had a quad, Shepard. You’re tough… and loyal. Not many people would go toe to toe with an angry krogan with a shotgun in their face.” 

“I’m not most people,” Jane said simply, staring up at him. “So, are we good now? Cause if you’re done pissing a bitch, I’m ready to go make this motherfucker pay… and I need my battle turtle with me.” 

“I don’t like this, but I trust you,” Wrex growled, then glanced up at the ridge- he was no doubt staring at Garrus and John. “I’m with you, Shepard… don’t make me regret my choice.”

“Thanks,” Jane replied, exhaling as they made their way back toward the others. “And I won’t.” 

_ _

* * *

Nihlus went over to Jane, who was hiding behind a tent with some datapads scattered in front of her. She hadn't said much since her confrontation with Wrex, only briefly talking with the Salarian- he was just proud no blows were exchanged. "So," he said, trying to get her attention, “trying to look busy?” 

Jane wiped her eyes, then sat up straight. “I’m not trying to, I _am_ ,” she said stiffly. “Not my fault you don’t recognize hard work.”

“Ah,” he mused, looking down. “I’m calling a meeting,” he said seriously, settling down on a crate in front of her. “Spectre level planning operation, right here, right now. Your attendance is mandatory, Jane.” 

“Well if it’s mandatory,” Jane said with a shaky grin, smoothing away a renegade hair. “I don’t think I’m allowed to say no to a senior spectre… even if he is technically dead.” 

“Finally, she learns how to listen,” Nihlus teased, nudging her gently with his foot. “It took you long enough.”  
  
“Was there a point to this?” Jane asked, trying to hide her grin. “I thought you had big plans to make with captain dickhead or something.” 

Nihlus sighed. “The captain is not a bad person,” he said simply. “He’s simply tired and desperate- the council has screwed him over just as much as they’ve done you… maybe even more so.” 

“Somehow I doubt that,” Jane mumbled, crossing her arms. “He called my friend a _mistake_ , Nih- I don’t take too kindly to that shit.”  
  
“He’s lost over half his team investigating that compound,” Nihlus replied calmly, watching as Jane’s face settled into a cold comprehension. “He’s been fighting Saren’s krogan lackeys and the geth this entire time- you can’t see where he _might_ be a bit on edge?” She snorted, but he just shoved her with his foot again. “Empathy is a good skill to learn, Jane…granted, it’s not as showy as staring down a furious krogan, but a useful one nonetheless.” 

Jane winced, then looked over at Nihlus with a sheepish grin. “That was… kinda stupid, huh?”

Nihlus just rumbled with amusement. “Very,” he agreed. “Your mate was nearly crawling out of his plates with worry up here- sometimes I wonder if you have the brain of a lizard, Jane.” Her eyebrows shot up, and he raised a hand to stop her. “I only mean that you react on pure instinct sometimes, which isn’t always best… you might do better to stop and think about the situation.”

“It works,” Jane huffed, looking away. “I got Wrex back, didn’t I? Isn’t that all that counts?” 

“You’re going up against Saren,” Nihlus said pointedly. “The man is a master assassin and manipulator- do you really think hotheaded techniques are going to win? You are smart and calculating, Jane- I need you to use that out here.”

“Maybe we need an unpredictable human,” she replied cheekily, earning an eye roll from him. “I mean, you’re one of the best planners I know and he beat the snot out of you- maybe being the wily human will work to my advantage.” 

His sub-vocals let out an angry hum, but he tampered it down- though she was being flippant, Jane did have a point, and he would do well to listen to it. “While I don’t disagree,” he said begrudgingly, “I also don’t want anything to happen to you, either.” She paused for a moment, and he sighed. “You are one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made, Jane,” Nihlus said, walking over to put a hand on her shoulder. “And I could not be more proud of you.”

“I haven’t done anything special,” Jane mumbled, looking down at the ground. “You could’ve done all this without me, Nih.”  
  
Nihlus shook his head. “I would’ve tried to do it on my own,” he said sadly, feeling ashamed at the thought. “You’ve brought all these people together… and brought out the best in them. They’re willing to fight for you, Jane- not I.” 

“Except Ash and Jenkins,” she teased, causing him to roll his eyes at her, groaning as she shoved him with her foot. “Admit it, Nih- you like having a team.”

Nihlus just stared at her for a moment, then let out an embarrassed trill. “I suppose I do,” he admitted. “It’s strange- before, I would always say I worked better alone, but now… I’m not sure if I do.”

“When you have a team that’s got your six no matter what, it makes a difference,” Jane said quietly. “The B-Team works because of you, Nih- you did that. You made them work, not me- I wrote Ash off without a second thought, but you saw something I didn’t.” Jane smiled, and the turian realized that there was a time he would’ve burst with happiness to receive that kind of look from her- now, it was simply an expression of pride amongst friends. “You’re a good guy, Nih.” She leaned over and hugged him, laughing with surprise when he hugged her back. “And seriously, thank you… for seeing something in me, too.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane watched as the Salarian gave the speech to his troops, wondering if there was something that she should be saying to her team as well. _I mean, no one seems to need a pep talk,_ she thought to herself, looking over at the faces of her teammates. _Maybe we’re good without it?_

Finally, something the captain said caught her attention. “We’ll be dividing into three teams- I will lead one, Shepard, I’ll leave one here with your crew to work on the bombs, and another will lead the diversionary efforts.”

Jenkins raised his hand, then cleared his throat when Kirrahe nodded at him. “I'm happy to help with the bombs,” he said, glancing over at Nihlus. “I was top in my class with tactical explosives- I’m sure I can help out.” 

“The Salarians _do_ need help modifying the drive core to deliver the proper payload,” Nihlus replied, looking over at the eager young man. “Shepard, do you think Jenkins and Tali could assist them with it?” 

Jane shrugged. “Having your team watching the camp and our backs from down here won’t be the worst thing,” she admitted. “Jenkins, can you go inside and get Tali down here- she can help you get this together.” Then she turned to Nihlus, looking over at him and Ash. “Think you two can protect the perimeter while they work? The rest of us can go storm the facility and bring that bitch inside to his knees.”

“ _Actually_ ,” Kirrahe interjected, causing Jane to turn to him with confusion, “I know it is dangerous, but I require a little more help,” he said, clearing his throat. “I need a member of your team to lead the third group.” He looked over at Wrex, and his gaze stiffened. “Preferably Alliance.”  
  
John and Ash both stepped forward, making Jane’s heart sink- she had no desire to be separated from her brother on a mission like this. From the growls coming from Nihlus, she could suspect he felt pretty close to how she did. “I can do it,” Ash said firmly, looking over at John. “I can lead the team.” John started to protest, but she put a hand on his arm and turned to Nihlus and Jane. “Spectre Kryik, you know I have the skills to command a troop,” she said stiffly, her expression firm. “I would like this opportunity.” 

Nihlus turned to her, his sub-vocals rumbling dangerously. “Jane,” he warned, his voice thrumming with rage. “Send someone else.”

Jane sighed, putting her head in her hands. _Great_ , she thought, looking over at the angry turian across from her, _just what I need- an enraged mate pissed at me right before a mission._ “Nihlus,” she said slowly, “Ash just said-” 

_“And so did John!”_ Nihlus roared, making Jane take a step back. “You want to send someone? Send him!” 

“It’s my decision,” Jane said firmly, glaring at Kryik. “And you are making a scene right now,” she hissed, dragging him away from the others. “Bring your ass over here, _now!_ ” 

When they were far enough away and behind cover, Jane fixed Nihlus with a murderous stare. “Don’t you ever pull something like that again,” she warned. “You decided to abdicate your responsibility, and I’m the one who has to make these decisions- don’t make this shit harder on me than it has to be!” 

“Send John,” he pleaded, his voice shaking. “I know you don’t care for her, but _please_ don’t send Ash _-_ I’m begging you.” 

Jane’s jaw dropped and she stared at him, horrified. “Nih, I’m petty, but I’m not _that_ petty- I _do_ look at the facts,” she retorted. “And the facts are these- he requested an alliance member, so even if I wanted to, I couldn’t send John. So, taking him out of the equation, that leaves Ash and Jenkins, and let’s just be honest here- do you honestly think _Jenkins_ can lead a platoon?”

“I _need_ to be able to protect her,” Nihlus shot back, clenching his fists together. “I can’t let her go off-”

“It’s not up to you,” Ash said, causing him to whirl around and stare at her. “It’s up to the commander… and she’s right on all counts- I’m the best choice.” She looked at Jane and nodded. “I know you don’t want to send John because he’s your brother… but he’s also the best biotic you have right now- he needs to be with you, Jane.” She turned to Nihlus, standing in front of him and staring him straight in the eye. “I can handle this,” she said firmly, reaching for his hand. “You even said I could do it… were you lying to me about that?” 

“No,” he said, pressing his head to hers and letting out a deep sigh. “But… I don’t want you going off where I can’t keep you safe,” he whispered. “We’re a team, Ash.” 

“I know,” she said, resting a hand on his cheek and giving him a light kiss. “But you know I got this, Nih.” She chuckled, then glanced at Jane. “Besides, I’m BB- everyone says I’m too mean to die, remember?”

Jane smiled and turned away, feeling like she was intruding on a moment that she shouldn’t be watching. _I know how he feels,_ she thought wistfully. _It’s hard to leave them, not knowing if you’re coming back or not… I really do wish there was another way._ “I don’t know about that anymore,” she said, staring off into the distance. “There might be blood instead of venom in your veins after all.”

When Ash laughed, she turned around and found the woman resting in the turians arms. “Ash," she said slowly, ignoring the angry rumbles from Nihlus, "looks like you’re up.” _Please don't' let anything happen to this woman,_ Jane thought, staring at Ash with resignation. _Nih would never forgive me if it did._ “Make us proud out there, Williams.” 

Ash moved away from Nihlus and saluted. “You know I will, commander.” 


	63. Waiting is the worst part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virmire, pt. 3

_ _

* * *

As Jenkins and Tali started to work with Kirrahe’s team, Nihlus tried his best not to think about the fact that Ash was off on her own, too far away for him to help her _. She can do this_ , he told himself, trying to keep calm. _Ash is a trained soldier and a leader- she can handle this mission._

However, the thudding in his chest was telling him a different story- for the first time, he was discovering that there was a very distinct difference between knowing something… and getting his body to believe it. _I’ve never cared this much before,_ he realized, grimacing at the thought of how shamefully he’d behaved earlier. _Jane was right to call me out about it- that behavior is not becoming of a spectre._

 _But it’s normal for a mate,_ a voice nagged at him. _Like it or not, that’s what she is to you… and she needs to know what it means._

As much as he wanted to ignore that voice, Nihlus realized that he couldn’t afford to continue suppressing his feelings. Like it or not, he was irrevocably hers, and he was making stupid mistakes because of it. _Damn the consequences_ , he thought, balling up his fists. _As soon as she comes back, I’m telling her… they’re right- I can’t wait anymore._

Sighing, he walked away for a bit to scout the area. To his surprise he found Solana sitting on the rocks by the water, looking forlornly over the horizon. She was absentmindedly creating and extinguishing a ball of energy in her hand, the light waxing and waning with every breath. Being careful not to startle the girl, Nihlus moved closer and alerted her to his presence. “This is strange,” he remarked, looking out at the scenery. “Most turians won’t get this close to water if they can help it.” 

Sol smiled, extinguishing the light in her hand as she shifted to face the spectre. “I’m not really a good turian,” she said quietly, fingering something around her neck. “I… actually like the water- it’s relaxing. Mama used to take me and Gar to the shore sometimes,” she said wistfully, glancing back over at the waves. “Gar was always too scared to get in, but I would go as far as Mama would let me,” she said proudly. “Daddy would pitch an absolute fit when he found out where we went, but Mama never cared- said her chicks would get to see the world whether he liked it or not, and he could shove his opinion in his cowl.” She shook her head, laughing to herself. “I never thought I’d get to see water like this…but I’m glad I got the chance to.”

“I only wish it was under better circumstances,” Nihlus replied, settling on the furthest rock away from the water. While he wasn’t exactly terrified of the water, he was nowhere near as comfortable with it as Sol was- moving a bit further away made him feel more secure. “What seems to be on your mind, Miss Vakarian?”

“Actually, it’s Mrs. Shepard, but there seems to be too many of those on the ship, so you can call me Sol,” she replied with a smile, fingering whatever was around her neck again. “I needed to get away,” she admitted. “Nana told me to find somewhere relaxing to go and practice.” The turian glanced over at the waves, then sighed. “Ash would read me poems about the sea sometimes,” she said quietly. “And I always felt a little better when she did, so…”

Nihlus nodded, listening to the waves rolling and crashing rhythmically against the shore. To him, the sound was frightening- a harbinger of watery death. But, he realized as the girl stared out into the expanse, it was also soothing, in a way. _Unerring and unwavering_ , he thought. _Just a constant force that you can do nothing about_. 

After a few moments of silence, Nihlus gestured to her hands- they were resting against her chest, that same light flickering in and out with every breath. “May I ask what you’re holding, Sol?” 

“Hmm?” Sol paused for a second and looked down, then smiled. “These are Johnny’s dog tags,- he gave them to me before he left… said he wanted me to hold onto them for him. It’s… comforting,” she admitted, pulling out the metal tags dangling from the chain. “It’s like having a piece of him with me. Now that I think about it,” she said quietly, folding her hands together, “this must be why humans exchange rings- no matter what, you always have a bit of them with you.”

Nihlus just nodded, staring out at the water. He didn’t know if the girl knew the true meaning of the tags, but if she didn’t, it wasn’t his place to tell her. “That must be nice,” he said finally, staring down at his hands. “But I wouldn’t worry too much, Sol- John is a fine soldier. He’ll be back before you know it.”  
  
“I know,” Sol replied, replacing the tags inside her shirt and resuming her practice. “It’s just the waiting,” she admitted. “It’s the hardest part of this- I just… I just wish I could be out there with him,” Sol said, her voice tinged with frustration. “I feel so damn _helpless_ here!” 

And though he wanted to comfort her, Nihlus couldn’t find a single thing to say- her feelings were too close to his own.

_ _

* * *

Garrus hadn’t felt this uneasy about a mission in a while. 

Though no one had said anything, he could tell that both twins were worried about the other teams. The squadron of geth flyers that had attacked Kirrahe made the whole team settle into a blanket of tense silence, only speaking when necessary. Though they had saved the captain, the frown never left Jane’s face, and John stayed uncharacteristically quiet. He knew Jane was worried about sending Ash off on her own, but he couldn’t figure out what was with John.

As they made their way inside the base, they found a squadron of salarians, almost all of them babbling incoherently. When they moved further inside, there was one who was watching them, quiet and unblinking- Garrus gestured to him with his head and Jane nodded, making her way over to him with Wrex at her side. “Call Sol and Chakwas,” she said quietly after talking to him for a moment. “They need to see this- this one here says he has information about the others back there.” 

Before Garrus could do anything, John was already on his omni-tool. _Should’ve seen that coming,_ Garrus thought, watching as Jane made her way over to the terminals, no doubt looking for information. _She can tell he’s worried, too._

As he watched over John’s shoulder, his sister’s face appeared on the man’s screen. “Johnny!” Sol exclaimed, her eyes wide and her expression full of relief. “Are you guys all right?”

He ran his hand through his hair, and Garrus could hear the tension leaving as John walked over to the captured Salarians. As he conversed with Sol and the doc, Garrus walked over to Jane, who had finished with the terminal and was watching the exchange closely. “You knew,” Garrus said quietly, looking over at his mate. “You know those others are indoctrinated, right? There’s nothing we can do for them here.” 

“I know that,” Jane replied, her face stoic as she watched her brother. “But he needed to know Sol was ok… after that dust-up out there, you know he’s been itching to radio back into the Normandy.” She shook her head, then turned away. “If he’d asked, I would’ve understood- if it were us-” 

“Wouldn’t have happened,” Garrus said firmly, crossing his arms. “Not leaving your six, Jane.” 

She smiled, then gestured back to John. “That’s just it- you can do that… Sol can’t. It’s a helluva mindfuck, to know the ones you love more than anything in the world are so close, yet just out of your reach.” Jane grabbed his hand for a moment, then let it rest against the side of his armor. “Think about how you felt when I had to leave you on the Normandy- how useful were you?”

Remembering how Joker and John had to work to keep him settled, Garrus sighed. “Not very,” he admitted. “I was too busy worrying about you.”

“Exactly,” Jane replied. “I need his head in the game, big guy. If letting him make a call that we all know is pointless is gonna do that, then that’s what I’m doing- I can’t afford for any of us to make mistakes out here.” 

“Finally thinking ahead,” Garrus said with approval, unable to stop the proud rumble coming from his chest. “Looks like you’re settling back into that commander role, Shepard.”

“Jane,” she corrected, keeping her gaze firm. “With you, I’m always Jane… no matter what.” 

_ _

* * *

Joker was in the cockpit, watching the salarian troops nervously. He’d kicked Sol out earlier, not wanting the girl to have to hear if something happened to them first hand. Hell, _he_ didn’t want to hear it, but it was his job- he’d deal with anything else when- no... _if_ it happened. _We’re staying firmly on the side of fluffy kittens and rainbows in here_ , he thought grimly, checking over the cameras. _We are all coming home today… even BB._

“Have you heard from them yet?” Tali asked, poking her head inside the cockpit. “The comms have been extremely quiet today.”  
  
“That’s on purpose,” Joker said, shifting to look at her. “Didn’t want Tiny and Nih popping a blood vessel anytime a firefight broke out… so I patched all communication in here.” He sighed, then checked the monitors again. “Not like they can do anything from in here anyway.” Then Joker forced a bright smile on his face. “So, are you done playing mad scientist with Team Lizard? Gotta admit, that working session of yours did not sound fun… at all.”

“They’re a bunch of bosh’tet’s,” Tali snapped, settling into the seat next to him. “It’s a drive core, for pity’s sake- anyone should be able to turn that into a bomb!” 

Joker shifted to look at the quarian. “Um, the fact that making things that should decidedly _not_ blow up into nuclear bombs is old hat for you makes me question your levels of genius and sanity, Tali- got something you want to tell me?”

She giggled, then shook her head. “Jenkins seemed to understand most of it… or he was just humoring me. Even so, he was very detailed- I think he is determined to prove to Kryik that he can accomplish this task.” 

“Great, now we got Mr. and Mrs. Arsonist on board,” Joker grumbled. “Between your friend being a walking bomb and you guys building that monstrosity, I’m starting to think there’s a conspiracy around here.”

“Only to destroy Saren,” Tali teased, making Joker laugh. “We’re going to do this,” she said firmly. “We-” 

Suddenly, Tali was cut off by a loud rumbling- it was so violent it shook the ship, making Joker’s bones ache. He immediately turned to the windows and watched in horror as a huge ship lifted up from the base, turning in mid-air with a speed and fluidity he could only dream of achieving with the Normandy. Panic rising in his chest, Joker immediately hit the comms just as Sol, Nana, and Nihlus came racing into the cockpit. “Janey!” Joker yelled, forcing himself not to pay attention to the newcomers, “Janey, come in!”

“We’re here,” Jane screamed, her voice cracking over the radio. “We’re on our way to clear out the drop zone for the bomb!”

“I don’t give a shit about that!” Joker shot back. “I want to know why that ship of his just pulled a turn that would shear any Alliance ship in half!”

“That’s because Sovereign isn’t a ship!” Jane panted. “Sovereign… is a reaper! The ship is an actual reaper!” 

Nihlus gripped the back of Tali’s chair, a low growl rising in his throat. “That’s what Benezia meant- anyone who came in contact with the ship was in contact with an actual reaper!” 

“ _Goddess!_ That thing’s the size of a building!” Nana exclaimed as it passed over them. “If that’s a Reaper… no wonder Benezia was so far gone. Can’t imagine Saren’s in much better shape. Mind has to be warped beyond reason. Be careful out there, kids- that thing might punch a hole through your soul.” 

“Understood,” Jane replied, the sounds of crunching glass in the background. “I’ve had enough of this fucking house of horrors- he’s indoctrinated Kirrahe’s old team, he’s breeding insane Krogan, and he’s working with a goddamn _reaper-_ we’ve gotta take this facility out.” She paused so long that Joker was almost ready to check the line. “Guys, is that bomb ready?”

“It is,” Nihlus replied, looking over at Tali. “As soon as you give the word it’s clear to land, we’ll set it up.” He paused, and instantly, Joker knew what was coming. “Have you heard from Ash yet?”

“She’s still giving ‘em hell, Nih,” Jane replied. “She’s keeping those geth busy while we get this shit together, so I owe her one hell of a glass of the cheapest bullshit she wants when we get back- and I’ll be damn proud to buy it for her, too.”

_ _

* * *

Nihlus felt his heart pounding in his chest, the adrenaline surging through his system as the Normandy made its way over to the drop zone. _We’re going to destroy this place,_ he thought with a snarl as he looked over at the young soldier, who was coordinating with the salarian team, unloading the bomb as Jane and her team held the landing zone. _And then… I’m coming for you, Saren._

Just as he was about to go and help them set up, he heard a ruckus coming from behind him. “Let me go!” Sol shouted, her voice angrier than he’d ever heard it. “He’s there, Nana- I have to go down there!”

“And do what, girl? Get your fool-self killed?" Nana barked at Sol harshly. "Maybe let those bastards butcher you in front of your mate? You need to learn to _control_ your gifts first- you can’t use ‘em the way they are!” 

Nihlus whirled around, only to find the young turian being held in a stasis field by the old asari. Curious, he turned to Natearus, then looked at Sol. “Is this really necessary?” 

“You wanna hold onto a wild varren, boy?" Nana snapped, glaring at him as she released the hold just a fraction to give him a taste of just how out of control the girl really was. "Be my guest, but don’t whine at me when she cracks your plates wide open… or melts ya where ya stand.” 

Nihlus rolled his eyes- _I don’t have time for this_ , he thought, watching Solana squirm and buck before Nana tightened her hold on her. “Sol,” he said tersely, “that is an active combat zone- have your biotics improved since the last time I’ve seen you?”

Sol glared at him. “No, but-”

“Then listen to your trainer,” he said curtly. “This is a mission, Sol- I will not have you getting in the way with histrionics.” He looked over at Natearus, who nodded. “Control yourself, Solana- we all have work to do today.” 

She started to respond, but Nihlus didn’t wait around to hear it- instead, he walked down the ramp towards Jane. 

“Good work,” she said, watching Jenkins and the salarians escort the bomb to the base of the tower. “Didn’t think it was going to go this well, to be honest.”

“We’re all extremely motivated,” Nihlus replied. “I want Saren… but if I can’t have him, I’ll be happy to destroy this monstrosity- one less advantage in his court.”  
  
Jane nodded, then bit her lip. “It’s bad, Nih,” she murmured. “That thing he’s in…and plus, there was another beacon- I got another vision.”

Nihlus paused, then looked over at Jane. “A vision? Like on Eden Prime?”  
  
“Yeah,” she said. “Only this time, it wasn’t just bits and pieces- it was the full thing. I saw-”

Just then, a voice came through over the comms. “Shepard, this is Williams- do you read me!” 

Nihlus felt his heart sink into his stomach- never, in all the time he’d known her, had he ever heard Ash sound like that- something was wrong. “Ash, we’re here,” he replied, trying to keep his voice steady. “What’s going on!” 

“We’re-” Ash was interrupted by the sounds of heavy gunfire, and Nihlus immediately began craning his neck around to see if he could locate the source. “We’re under attack- my unit is pinned down by enemy fire!”

He started to say something, but Jane placed a hand on his chest, ignoring the thumping of his heart he was sure she could feel through his armor. “Where are you, Ash?” 

“AA tower,” she replied, only to be cut off by the sounds of gunfire and screaming. “Something happened,” Ash said frantically. “There were normal amounts at first, but now-”

“Sovereign,” Jane said under her breath. “It must’ve told Saren to send more forces,” she whispered, not looking at Nihlus. “They must’ve advanced when it dove away from us.” Then she turned to him, her eyes hard. “Ash, sit tight- I’m sending the Normandy for you.” 

“Negative- the areas too hot,” she replied, her voice almost sending Nihlus to his knees. “You… you just sit there and plant that fucking nuke, you hear me? I didn’t come out here to get my ass blown to bits for nothing, Jane- you blow this bitch and you blow it good, understand!”

“Fuck you!” Jane screamed, running off towards the team manning the bomb. “I’m not gonna let you die a better person than me, you uppity bitch! You sit tight till I get there, understand?” 

Ash ignored her comment, and based on the tone of her voice, she'd switched to a private channel. “Nihlus,” she said, her voice low in his ear, “can you hear me?” 

Frozen in place, Nihlus could barely make words come out of his throat. “I’m here,” he croaked, trying to figure out just what it was that he should do. “I’m here, Ash.” 

“You stop her, Nih,” Ash told him, her voice thick with emotion. “That stupid bitch is gonna try to save us and she needs to be there… don't let her- Jane needs to keep you safe, ok?” 

“I’m coming for you,” Nihlus said, his decision made as a keen welled up in his chest. “Just…keep them away until I get there, Ash- I’m coming, ok?” 

She didn’t respond for a moment, and he broke off into a run, racing down the ramp toward the others. Finally, her voice came back on the line and he exhaled, sending a wave of emotions flooding through his system. “I love you,” she said quietly, her voice shaky. “And if-”

“Stop that… right now,” Nihlus growled, feeling like his legs were moving through quicksand. “I’m coming, Ash… I’ll be there soon, ok?” 

“I need to tell you… just in case,” Ash interrupted, her shaky voice momentarily drowned out by the sounds of battle raging around them. “I… I would’ve married you if you’d asked,” she said, finally making that keen in his chest break free. “For the rest of my life… I’m yours, Nih.” 


	64. Unexpected

_ _

* * *

_I love you... I would’ve married you if you’d asked... For the rest of my life… I’m yours, Nih._

The words were replaying on a loop in his head as he made his way over to Jane and her team. “We’re heading out on foot,” he said firmly, his tone brokering no argument. “We need to leave… now.”  
  
Jane started to say something, but the look on his face must’ve told her that saying anything other than 'we should've left five minutes ago' would have been pointless. “Jenkins,” she said, turning to the soldier, “can you and the team handle things here for a minute?”

“I need a few minutes to set this up anyway,” Jenkins replied, not looking up from the wiring. Then he stopped, turning to glance up at Nihlus. “Go… bring my teammate back here, sir- I’m sure she won’t wanna miss these fireworks.” 

“Damn straight,” John said, reloading his gun as they started to head off toward the tower. “Ash never was one to miss a party, Kryik- better make sure you never forget an anniversary or she’s gonna have your head.” 

“I don’t plan on it,” Nihlus replied, his expression grim. “Enough talk- we need to get over there… all this chatter is useless.”

“Agreed,” Jane panted as they raced across the base, blasting at the geth that littered their path. “Ash is good, but she’s gonna need backup… and soon.”

“This is the nicest I’ve ever heard you be towards the woman,” John said as he knocked a slew of troopers into Wrex, who promptly trampled them. “Don't tell me- is this the start of a new friendship?”

“More like her mate is gonna lose his mind if we don’t get that girl out of there,” she retorted, blasting a hopper that seemed to appear out of nowhere. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not into breaking up happy homes.”

Nihlus knew Jane was teasing him, trying to make him forget the fact that his pulse was racing and every fiber of his being was jumping and twitching. _Ash is my mate_ , he thought, taking down the geth that got in his way. _She’s my mate and I’m going to save her._

That thought was the only thing in his head now, not stopping even when the krogan warlord appeared in front of them, blocking their path. “Out of my way,” Nihlus snarled, “before I destroy you.” 

The krogan chuckled evilly. “And the bird who isn’t as strong as Saren thinks it can win?” It snorted, then motioned to bring its other crew of krogan and geth over to its side. “We will win… and be glorious. And this traitor-” it snarled, glaring at Wrex, “chooses the humans! Destroy him too!”

“I don’t have time for this,” Nihlus growled. “John... _skeet!”_

Without another word, John had wrapped the warlord in biotic energy, launching it right into the air. Nihlus started to take the shot, but before he could do it, Garrus had taken two well-placed headshots, killing the krogan. After that, Jane and Wrex wasted no time- they were already working to take down the others. Grumbling, Nihlus turned to look at the other turian, who was now picking off stray enemies that had the misfortune of escaping the wrath of the tiny woman. “I had that, you know.”

As Garrus shrugged, Nihlus blew away a geth that was creeping behind his shoulder. “Maybe,” the younger turian said as they raced on, much closer now but still too far away for his comfort, “but we didn’t have the time for you to miss a shot even a fledgling could make.” 

_ _

* * *

The second he saw the ship flying over their heads, John had a horrible feeling. Not even willing to wait for Jane to give the order, he radioed back to the Normandy. “Joker, what’s the status!”

“A boatload of geth just rained down on the bombsite!” Joker yelled back. “They’re taking fire out here! Normandy’s shields are up, but… “ his voice trailed off, leaving everyone tense and silent. “They need help, Shep- you gotta get back here.” 

“We have to get to Ash!” Nihlus yelled, his voice ringing in John’s ears and reverberating around him. “Her team is up there!”  
  
_“AND MY WIFE IS DOWN THERE!”_ John yelled back, his own panic starting to creep into his throat. “Jane… Gar… your _sister_ is down there we have to go back!”

“Go back!” Ash called out over the comms. “What the hell are you doing! I told you fuckers not to come! What part of stay and protect the bomb did you miss? I’m a goddamn _soldier-_ I know my job and what I signed up for! Protect the fucking mission, Jane!”

Nana’s voice cut across the comms sharply in the mere seconds of silence between them. “If y'all don’t mind, would you kindly _shut the hell up!_ Now… do I have your attention? Seems I do since I don’t hear you running your mouths. I will handle the mess around this bomb site.” 

John paled. “Nana, you can’t! Stay inside and protect Sol, please! I can come back to help,” he interrupted, his mind racing a mile a minute. “They got this- I’ll be right-”

“Go get that boy’s mate. He’s no good to us if he goes insane at losing her.” they heard Nana’s grumble at that before she snapped at him. “Your sister needs your biotics more. I’m perfectly capable of handling a few synthetics. Hell, you mate could use the distraction… call it ‘hands-on’ training.”

“No the fuck she doesn’t!” John screamed. “Sol, you stay inside!” 

“Like hell I will! I’m going out too!” Sol yelled over the comms. “I can do this, John- this is our crew and I’m _not_ letting anything happen to them!”

“And I’ve got her!” Tali shouted back. “Liara and Nana can help me, so go and save Ash! Bring our teammate home!”

“Thought I taught you better than this, boy. A gilded cage is still a cage. You can’t keep the girl pinned up- she’s as strong as you," Nana growled. "And last I checked… I am one of the strongest Matriarchs still breathin’. I’m not a helpless old crone, brat! I got this- now go get Ashley!” 

John felt his emotions all over the place, but he looked at Jane and swallowed- no matter what, this was her team and her decision. “Nana, I’m trusting you," he warned. "I need you to keep my folks safe, ok?” 

“What do you humans call this kinda thing? Oh yeah… this is a cakewalk, boy. I could pop a few geth in my sleep. Nothin’ to it and it gives your girl some experience too.” Nana let out a cackle at the idea. “Besides, might be fun to see some _real_ action… Goddess knows this ship of yours is boring.”

“I certainly hope it's a cakewalk,” Jane replied as they raced up the stairs, dashing toward the tower. “Because if something happens to them and the geth don’t kill you… you better believe that I will.”

_ _

* * *

Nana watched as the geth practically rained down on them, letting her face settle into a mask of cold indifference. _Well now, this should be fun. Stretch the old biotic muscles a little._ Then she looked around at the girls with her and she swallowed. _Goddess, was I ever that young? These girls better be ready. Might have to bail them out too._

“Alright, girls… now it gets fun,” Nana barked at the mismatched trio at her back. She glanced toward the quarian and raised a hairless brow before pointing toward the area she knew the bomb must be in. “Need you over there with that drone and shotgun of yours, Tali. Sol, you’re right here with me- stay close, watch and learn. Liara, you got our right flank.” Nana glanced at Sol then and dropped her voice, making sure the conversation stayed just between them. “You sure you really wanna give this a try? This ain’t like sparring with me.”

“I can do this,” Sol said firmly, her gaze hard. “If this is what we need to do to protect our crew, then that’s what I’m going to do- I might not be able to handle my powers, but I can damn sure handle a gun.” To prove her point, Sol cocked her shotgun, and from her right, Nana watched as the quarian nodded with approval. “Daddy taught me that much.”

“Doubt your daddy knows his butt pucker from a hole in the ground most days. I suspect your mama taught you more about guns than he did. Either way, you’ll get to prove those skills in a minute.” Nana grumbled and Sol’s non-committal sounding grunt confirmed it for her. “You girls ready? Know what’s expected of you?” She frowned faintly at Sol then. “Think you can shield Tali and yourself, Sol, dear? I can’t shield us and sling out attacks too.”

Sol paused for a second, her face tight. “I… I can do that,” she said, her sub-vocals warbling. “Yeah… I can do this.” 

Nana nodded and focused her attention on the area ahead. “You got this, girl. Just do what I taught ya… and we’ll live through this.” _Well, now…. This was a real good idea_.

“More geth approaching!” Tali called out, pointing over the ridge. “Ready?” 

“I was born ready, girl," Nana cackled and watched the robotic forms advancing toward them. She grasped the dark energy that governed all biotics and waited until they drew in just a little closer. "Question is… are you ready?” 

“It’s geth! Of _course_ I’m ready!” Tali shot back, preparing a drone and taking out a swath of geth creeping up to the left of the salarian team. “Let’s take them out!”

“Alright then... let’s show these geth bastards what we’re made of!” Nana nodded in approval, barking the orders. _Girl’s got some attitude. Reminds me of… me. Might just make it through this shitstorm after all_.

The geth drew in close enough and Nana slung a shockwave out. It knocked the synthetics around like toys as it popped along the ground. She howled laughter as they bounced off each other and glanced toward Sol with a nod. Before they could continue their march toward the Normandy, Nana threw a warp out and hit one squarely in the chest. It practically rattled apart, falling to the ground in a matter of seconds.

A shot rang out and Nana whirled around, only to find Liara shielding Jenkins from an incoming barrage of fire. “Jenkins,” she yelled, the barrier wavering yet holding steady, “Are you all right!”

“Just fine- thanks for the assist, ma’am!” Jenkins called out, knocking down the offending trooper. “Keep ‘em off us and we can knock back the ones that squeak through!!”

“Will do!” Liara called back, glancing around for the others. “Tali, can you assist!” 

“Already on it, Li!” Tali answered. “Sol, cover me- I’m heading over there!”

Nana glanced toward them for only a second before balling up a burst of energy and thrusting it at the horde of geth still headed their way with a sharp grunt. Those closest simply disintegrated while those further back were dented and knocked to the ground. She wasted as little time as possible in gathering up the particles to throw a singularity out at those that remained. The second they were swept up in it, she yanked a shotgun out from under the loose tunic she wore and started pegging the floaters.

“Nana! Behind you!” Sol shot a warp, strong, but wobbling in shape, that connected with the geth and sent it flying past her head. “Sorry, but I didn’t know what else to do! He was too close to shoot!”

“Shush, girl. Keep doin’ it till it works. You did good,” Nana barked and continued to peg the geth still floating within the dwindling field of the singularity. The second the field collapsed, she hit those still standing with another shockwave and toppled them like bowling pins. Glancing at the turian girl with a raised brow, she nodded. “Remind me of Iceira, you do. Your aunt was downright lethal with her biotics… but clumsy to start.”

“Bond later!” Joker barked out over the intercom, his voice frantic in their ears. “Dream team, you have incoming- be ready!”

_ _

* * *

Nihlus could see the gunfire raging ahead, but the sight of Ash’s hands waving and pointing flooded him with relief. “They’re up there! John, knock those bastards back- give them some breathing room!” 

John stepped up, preparing his power. He tossed out a singularity, hitting the approaching geth and sweeping them back, the resulting force sending Ash and the remainder of her team flying backward. Luckily, it was enough- they were able to get closer, but before Nihlus could move he heard a voice that he now only heard in his nightmares. _No…_ he thought, whirling around to see his old mentor and friend approaching, _not yet… not now._

“Congratulations,” Saren drawled, his voice mocking. “I have to applaud you and your team, Shepard- my geth were utterly convinced that the salarians were the real threat. It was… an impressive diversion.” Then his gaze alighted on Nihlus, sending a growl rising into his throat. “It sounds like something I would do… or my mentee.” He smiled, and it was no longer the look of approval Nihlus was used to seeing- this look was something monstrous, something sinister. “Looks like Kryik is still alive… and still playing at things he doesn’t understand.” 

“No thanks to you!” Jane shot back- from the corner of his eye, Nihlus could see Vakarian prepping for a shot. “How could you do this, Saren! You were a spectre, for fucks sake! You were sworn to protect the galaxy!” 

“You are human!” Saren spat back, his eyes enraged. “You can’t possibly understand what’s really at stake here!” At that, Garrus took the shot, but the turian glowed with the blue hue of biotic energy, whirling around to send out a pulse at the shooter- instantly, Garrus was blown backward, and Saren turned back to Jane with a cold, hard stare. “Kryik talks a good game, but he’s still a child, playing at things he doesn’t understand.”

“I understand you tried to kill me,” Nihlus growled, reaching in his storage and fingering one of Tali’s mines. “I understand that _very_ well.” 

Saren smiled and extended his hands. “No... I tried to _save_ you, old friend, but yet… you insist on helping the wrong side. History has shown what happens to those that try to defy the reapers… I am offering the galaxy a chance to submit… to live under their control.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about!” Jane screamed- judging by the fact that she was still somewhat composed, Nihlus had to guess that Vakarian was talking to her through the comms. “You’re working for Sovereign! The reapers destroyed the protheans! What the hell makes you so goddamn special!” 

“You saw the beacon!” Saren replied, walking closer. “You, of all people, should understand what the reapers are capable of- they cannot be stopped! The best we can hope for is mercy- I’m bringing us that mercy!” He tossed out a stasis field at Jane, which was quickly blocked by John- Saren growled in anger. “The protheans tried to fight and they were decimated- is that what you want for us, Shepard? To sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms?” 

_Good_ , Nihlus thought, _bring your ass into range so I can nullify these biotics of yours_. “We want to do what’s right… like you used to do, Saren!”

“Isn’t submission preferable to extinction?” Saren asked, his tone just as casual as it was during their old chats after a mission. “Or are billions… no, _trillions_ dying in the name of freedom an acceptable risk to you?” 

“Do you _really_ believe the reapers will let us live?” Jane shot back. “Like you said, I’ve seen the visions- they don’t seem like the type to just let us be, Saren!” 

Saren shook his head, looking like a parent preparing to scold an insolent child. “And _this…_ this misguided sense of logic is why I never brought this to the council.” He stepped closer, making Nihlus’s fingers twitch around the mine. “We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic… we fight,” Saren said as he turned to stare at Nihlus, the mechanical glint in his strange blue eyes making him shiver, “even when we know we cannot win.” 

“That’s called hope,” Jane spat, her gun prepped and ready to fire- quickly, Nihlus signaled for her to wait. “We organics have that in spades… or have you forgotten that since Sovereign’s been finger-fucking your brain?” 

“Unlike the others, my mind is still my own,” Saren sneered. “I am useful to Sovereign, so I am… allowed to stay whole. This facility-” he gestured around to the buildings- “is so I can study the effects on indoctrination. So,” he said, his tone venomous, “I daresay I’m more qualified to know its effects than you, little girl.” 

“This isn’t you!” Nihlus yelled, desperate for his friend to see reason. “This is not the Saren Arterius I know! The turian that taught me everything I know would never allow madness like this to occur- you’re under its influence and you don’t even know it! It’s controlling your thoughts, Saren!” 

“We can beat the reapers,” Jane screamed, her eyes darting over to Nihlus for a second. He nodded, and she turned back to Saren. “It doesn’t have to be like this! Together, we can stop them!”

“A nice thought,” Saren mused, preparing a wave of energy. “But… the visions cannot be denied and the reapers cannot be stopped. Our only hope for survival is to join them… and I intend to survive.” 

He took another step and Nihlus tossed the mine- as soon as Saren activated his biotics, the mine activated, shorting out his pulse. “Interesting,” Saren growled, turning to Nihlus. “It seems you’ve learned a few new tricks, Kryik.” Then to his shock, his body began to surge with dark energy, making Nihlus’s eyes go wide. “But so have I.”

 _The dampening mine didn’t work,_ he thought with disbelief. _How is that even possible?_ He started to reach for his gun but he looked up and saw the buildup of energy that Saren was sending surging toward them. _If he hits us directly we’re all going to die,_ he thought, forcing his body to react. “TAKE COVER!” Nihlus screamed, diving for Jane just as Saren sent out a wave of energy that rolled over the tower, making the very air feel like it was exploding as it sent all of them crashing to the ground.


	65. Hard Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virmire, finale

_ _

* * *

“I think that’s the last of them!” Solana said, panting as she looked around the landscape. _How is she doing this,_ Sol thought as she stared at Nana. The asari was still dancing around the battlefield, engaging geth stragglers with Liara, while Sol had hung back with Jenkins and Tali, making sure that the soldier was free to arm the bomb. “Ritchie, are you done yet?” 

“Almost got it,” he muttered, his hands flying over the sparking wires as he swore to himself. “Those goddamn geth almost destroyed this thing! The remote detonator is busted!”  
  
“Can we still activate it?” Sol shouted, her face damp with sweat. She’d been holding the barrier for a while now, and the strain was starting to show. “Will it still work?” 

The soldier paused for a minute, then glanced over at the two women. “Yes,” he said finally, his voice a bit shakier than normal. “But we gotta get you two back to the ship- you guys gotta go help the commander and my team.” 

Tali crouched down, cocking her head at the sparking wires. “If you leave it like this,” she said slowly, “then you’re going to have to detonate this by hand, Jenkins.”

“I know,” he replied, his voice trembling for a moment. “Someone needs to stay here and make sure this place dances with a bomb… and looks like it’s gotta be me.” 

“No!” Sol screamed, launching a stray geth away that was trying to creep over to them. “No! We are not leaving you out here- you’re part of our team, Ritchie!” 

“I don’t know what else to do,” he moaned as he stared at the bomb. “I don’t know how to fix this, but… they’re counting on me- I can’t let everyone down.”

At that, Tali smacked him upside the head and growled. “They’re counting on _us_ , you stupid bosh’tet! Cover me- I’m going to see what I can do to fix this!” 

Jenkins rubbed his head, then looked over at Sol as he loaded his gun. “Do you think you can hold out a little longer, ma’am?”

“I don’t have a choice,” Sol said firmly, gathering all the energy she had. “I’m doing whatever I have to in order to bring us all home, Jenkins- _no one_ is staying behind today, you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, hoisting his gun and leveling it at a geth that was skulking around the perimeter. “Just tell me what you need me to do.” 

“Less distraction, Sol, more focus! Lose your focus on the battlefield and you risk the whole team!” Nana barked, glancing back at the turian girl. “We’re needin’ that bomb, dears… now. These things aren’t just gonna let Janey pass without a fight.” 

“I need a few more minutes!” Tali called back. “The detonator on this thing is busted, but I can get it fixed!” 

“We ain’t got a few minutes. Seconds… I can buy ya seconds at best,” Nana growled and returned her attention to the geth still moving about among the rocks. “Janey needs to get her ass in gear and get her team here. Keeps draggin’ her heels and I’ll bundle the lot of you onto the Normandy. Chase the girl down myself… if I have to.” 

“Might wanna do that, old woman,” Joker’s voice rang out through the comms. “Looks like we gotta get up there… Saren found them.”

“Well _piss!_ ” Nana snarled with the stomp of her foot. She glanced back at the others for a moment thoughtfully. Sighing, she squeezed her eyes shut for a second. “Liara… think you can hold a barrier around Tali, the boy, and his bomb?”

“If Sol can help, then yes,” Liara replied, panting with exertion. 

“Bubble it, dear.” Nana glanced toward Sol and stepped back toward the other asari. “You’re about to get a crash course in biotic assist, Sol. Think you can do it?”

“I have to!” Sol shot back, glancing over at the bomb and watching as Tali’s fingers flew across the wires. “I don’t have a choice!”

The moment Liara had the barrier bubble around them, Nana took Sol’s hand and gently pressed it to the interior. “Feel that energy, girl? You gotta add yours to the flow, just enough to help stabilize it.”

Sol felt the panic rising in her throat as the asari took her hand. “I don’t know how!” 

“ _Feel_ it, dammit!” Nana barked harshly and yanked one of the girl’s gloves off. “Pay attention to the crackle against your skin!” 

Sol paused and shut her eyes, trying to block out everything else but the electricity coursing under her palm. Once she felt it dancing across her skin, her eyes flew open. “I feel it! How do I add mine to it!”

“Embrace your biotics and focus the energy to your hand. It’ll do the rest,” Nana instructed, her voice still carrying a note of urgency.

Sol took a deep breath, envisioning sending all the energy in her body down to her hand. _I have to do this_ , she thought. _I will not let everyone down!_ Suddenly, the barrier began to shimmer and glow, spider webs of blue crisscrossing around it before flickering and turning white. Feeling drained, Sol fell to her knees and gasped. “I did it…I think!” 

“Well done, Sol!” Nana hooted in triumph at the girl’s accomplishment. “Back the energy output down just a little. We don’t want you in a coma before we’re done here. Hold it as long as you can- I got things to do… buy some time, I think.”

With another backward glance at the others, Nana stepped out through the barrier and ran several yards out from the Normandy. She glanced over her shoulder a couple of times, gauging the distance as the geth in the area began to converge on her. When she was fairly certain she had reached a safe distance, she stopped and glared at the geth. “Alright, you mechanical bastards,” Nana growled under her breath, “let’s see if you keep comin’ after I let loose!” 

Sol watched in shock as Nana pulled all the energy she had around her, amplified it, and blasted it outward- in an instant, dozens of enemies simply vaporized, others melted. _I think I want to be able to do that_ , she thought, her mouth agape. _If I can do that, then there’s no way they’d think I was useless_. 

“Hurry up and get your asses back to the ship,” Joker howled over the comms. “The Dream Team needs a pickup, stat!” 

“On it,” Sol replied, the urgency in Joker’s voice making her heart thump in her chest as she watched her friend weave her fingers in and out of the metal casing at lightning speed. _Spirits, please let her be able to fix this,_ she thought, looking over at the soldier to her right and swallowing. _He deserves to come home, too._

After a few more agonizing seconds, the quarian let out a whoop of joy. “Got it!” Tali yelled, jumping to her feet. “However, we have a problem- if anyone attacks it again…”

“We’re screwed,” Jenkins replied, earning a nod from Tali. “So, what you’re saying is… someone needs to stay behind and make sure that the geth don’t ruin all your hard work, right?”

Tali nodded. “Sadly, yes.” 

Jenkins nodded, then threw his shoulders back. “Then… I’ll do it,” he said, his jaw set in a firm line. “I’m not going to let this mission go to hell… I’m not!”

“You will do… no such thing,” a voice rasped from behind them. “As long as I still have breath in my body, I will use the bullets in my gun.” Sol turned, then gasped at the wounded salarian that came up to them. “My team is lost, but I am not- I will complete the mission.”

The bubble flickered as Sol dropped her energy, turning her attention to the wounded soldier and fishing for medi-gel. As she looked him over, she realized he had a nasty wound on his side, but he was coherent. _Not in shock, seems clear-headed. The wound isn’t fatal… but staying here definitely will be_. “What’s your name?” 

“Lieutenant Jarkin Fadril," he said, his eyes focused on her as she scanned him, looking for any other injuries. “Does it matter?”

“It matters to me,” Sol replied, trying to keep him talking as she treated his wound. “Is there anything you need me to do?”

“Remember our sacrifice,” he said simply, his voice devoid of emotion. Sol had to bite back her shock- he talked about his impending death as casually as someone would order a meal. “Your team may have led the mission, but the STG will die to defend it- if there is anything to take away from this… then I would be pleased if you take that with you.”

_ _

* * *

Jane’s ears were ringing as she struggled to her feet, feeling as if she’d just gotten hit with a bag of bricks. _Saren_ , she thought, struggling to get her bearings and unsuccessfully trying to wake up the unconscious Nihlus, _he’s… resistant to the dampeners… we can’t stop his biotics._

“Alas, I had hoped you would see reason, Shepard,” Saren said, his voice drawing closer. “You’ve seen the visions, yet you would doom our entire civilization to suffer complete annihilation. And for that,” he sneered, reaching for her and hoisting her in the air by the throat, “you must die.” 

As Jane wriggled in his grasp, clawing at his hands on her neck, a voice came from behind her. “Eat a dick, you bastard!” Ash screamed as she brought the butt of her rifle down on Saren’s head. “This is for my team, you sonofabitch!”

He roared in pain as he dropped Jane, swinging his fist and sending Ash crashing to the ground. “You stupid human!” he screamed, swirling around and snarling as he leaned over her body, readying his omni-blade. “You will _not_ destroy everything I’ve worked for!” 

As he tried to bring down his blade, Jane shot him in the shoulder, making him spin away from Ash and growl with pain and rage. Snarling, Saren started to advance toward Jane but stopped, a sinister smile on his face. “Time to choose, Shepard- your team… or _me_.” 

Without warning, he lifted a crate and hurled it at Ash. instinctively, Jane dove for the woman, tackling her out of the way. Seconds later, the space where she’d been laying was littered in shards of metal, making Jane heave as she tried to catch her breath, “You ok?” 

“I’ve had better days,” Ash coughed, then looked around for the others. “Where’s everyone? Wait- where’d that bitch go?”

“ _I don’t fucking know!”_ Jane barked, then coughed as her throat felt like someone poured gasoline on it. “I was too busy saving you from being smashed like a pancake!” 

Ash shot her a look, then inhaled sharply as she tried to move. “Why’d you save me- you should’ve taken the fucking shot, Jane!”

“We both know that wasn’t an option,” Jane hissed. “So, are you good?” She looked over at the soldier, noticing the bullet wound in her leg and the myriad of bruises smattering her face. “You look like shit, Ash.”  
  
“Yeah, well you ain’t winnin’ no awards for cute yourself,” Ash retorted, draping an arm over Jane’s shoulder as Jane helped her walk. “If you aren’t dead, then I know I’ll manage.” 

“Always knew you were too mean to die,” Jane said hoarsely, smiling at the woman. “This just proves it.”

“God, even when you get choked the fuck out you still don’t shut up,” Ash retorted, laughing before letting out a grunt of pain as they hobbled over to a stack of crates. “Trust me, you can zip it for a second- the world won’t end if you close your mouth for a minute, Jane.”

“Considering I don’t want to punch you square in yours for once,” Jane wheezed as she leaned against the crate and handed a tube of medi-gel to Ash, “I’m starting to wonder if it already did.”

_ _

* * *

Nana stood there leaning over with her hands on her knees for a moment. She looked at the circle of destruction she had wrought and smiled in satisfaction. Pushing herself up and straightening, she let out a breath and a hum. “I still got it.”

“You all right?” Joker’s voice said in her ear. “I enjoyed your light show and I’m not trying to rush you, but you gotta get everyone back here now- Jane and the others… something happened up there- a large blast of some kind. Jane called in, says Saren took off- I don’t think we want to stick around here though.”

“Alright, boy. You can change your pants when I round the others up. Leave Janey and that bunch to their own devices too long… they might just bring that AA gun down to the ground,” Nana chuckled as she jogged back toward the ship. “Let the girl know we’re on the way soon as Miss Tali’s done with that bomb.” 

“Are you all coming?” Joker asked over the comms. The asari knew what he was really asking- _is anyone staying behind?_ “This bird is ready to take off and I’d like to have a crew on it when it does!”

“We’re done!” Sol called out over the comms. “Tali says that someone has to stay and guard the bomb… but a soldier is here… he volunteered.” The girl’s voice wavered, but she continued anyway. “We got the remote detonator working. We’re on our way!” 

“Good,” Joker replied. “Well, not good for the guy who’s staying, but-”

“No… it’s not good for anybody to stay and dance with a bomb… was hopin’ we’d avoid that,” Nana grumbled, shaking her head as she headed toward the cargo bay ramp. “Be ready to get us up to Janey’s team as soon as we’re on board. We’ve already wasted enough time.” Turning to get their attention, Nana waved the rest of her team toward the ramp. “Let’s go, kids! Time’s a-wastin'!”

“Understood!” Liara yelled, grabbing Sol and helping her to the ship. “We’re on our way!”

As Sol drew near, Nana looked her up and down critically. “Told ya to back that energy flow down a little, didn’t I, girl? Ah well... Live and learn. Now you got a better grasp of _why_ I said so.” Grabbing the turian’s arm, she helped her run up the ramp and into the ship. The second the ramp began to close, she let out a sigh of relief.

Just then, she heard the private let out a scream. “Watch out!” 

Snapping her head around, she saw the young man crumpled in a heap on Liara. “Goddess! What the hell just happened?”

“Geth… snuck up... fired a shot,” he said, breathing heavily as Sol raced over, holding her hands to his stomach. “Couldn’t… let… such a pretty lady go down… on my watch.” 

“Lost too many people today- we ain’t losin’ you too, boy,” Nana grumbled at Jenkins before turning her attention back to Liara and Sol. “Get his ass to medbay and be quick about it! He’s not followin’ all those that died today.” 

_ _

* * *

“You alright, Shepard?” Garrus asked, carefully pulling the man out from the pile of rubble. “You’re too quiet and it’s scaring me.” 

“Janey,” he coughed, taking Garrus’s hand. “Is she-”

“She’s up with Ash,” he said, relief flooding his sub-vocals. “Kryik took the worst of her blow, so Wrex is getting him now. However,” he said, looking up at the sky, “our friend seems to have scattered- I’m getting the feeling we don’t want to stick around here too long.” 

“Shitty place to visit, even shittier place to die,” John croaked, holding his side as he radioed the Normandy. “Yo, where the fuck are you, Joker!”

“Impatient much?” Joker shot back. “You know, some of us were repairing nuclear devices down here- what the fuck were you doing?” 

John started to say something else, but he was interrupted by Nihlus, who was sporting a decent-sized dent in the right side of his armor. “That bastard got upgraded,” he spat, hoisting Ash over his shoulder. “That reaper did something to him- he’s never had power like that before.”

“I hear indoctrination is all the rage with the cool kids now,” John said as he helped a salarian soldier to his feet. “Looks like your friend joined the reaper party, Kryik.” 

“I shot him,” Garrus grumbled as the Normandy approached, reaching for Jane and helping her to her feet. “That shot should’ve taken him down.”

“Don’t worry- your perfect record is still intact,” John shot back as they raced for the ship. “For some reason, his shields were crazy strong- on any other person, a shot like that would’ve led to a closed casket.”

“Doesn’t matter- he’s gone,” Jane wheezed as they entered the cargo bay, sounding terrible- he wanted to get her to the medbay as soon as possible. “But… that worries me- he had all of us laid out, dead to rights… why not kill us? Why run off and not finish the job?”

Realizing what she was thinking, Garrus turned to her, frowning at the purplish bruise blooming around her throat. “You think he’s got other plans.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me in the least,” Jane said, her eyes trailing over Ash and Nihlus as the turian cradled the injured woman in his arms. She smiled, then turned to see Liara, Nana, and Tali sitting on a nearby crate. “Are we ready to blow this place to bits?” 

Tali nodded. “Detonator’s right here, Commander- we just need to swing back over to the bomb site and make sure we’re in range, but we can do it.” The quarian inclined her head over to the medbay. “Jenkins and Sol are in the medbay… they both did well today.” 

“Good,” Jane replied, her shoulders slumping. “Joker,” she called out over the comms, “everyone is back on board- you ready for that fireworks show yet?”  
  
“Damn right I am,” the pilot replied. “Tali, that device of yours ready? I’m not looking to leave anyone else down there to be a sacrificial lamb today cause you fucked up!”  
  
The quarian fingered the device in her hand, then turned her head to the ceiling. “I don’t even know what a lamb is,” she retorted. “But I _do_ know bombs,” she said wickedly. “And I can guarantee you this, Mr. Moreau- when it comes to explosives, one thing I do _not_ do… is ‘fuck up’.” 

_ _

* * *

As soon as Tali detonated the device, Joker immediately sent the Normandy hurtling through space at a speed that made every cell in Jane’s body scream ‘we’re all gonna die’. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” she croaked, trying her best to ignore her flaming throat and forget that they were trying to _outrun a motherfucking bomb_. “Joker,” Jane wailed, “I did not just survive getting the life choked out of me only to be flame-roasted in a tin can! Get us the hell out of here!” 

“Working on it!” Joker yelled back, his eyes never leaving the window and his hands moving at a frightening speed over the console. “Your backseat driving is worse than your regular driving, Janey!”

She started to say something else, but the ship suddenly lurched, sending her hurtling forward before flattening her head to the back of her seat. _If I’m not dead I think I might kill him,_ Jane thought, slowly turning her head to see the pilot smiling smugly at her- she just glared at him. 

“What?” Joker asked, putting his hands behind his head and grinning broadly at her. “No love for the man who just outpaced a nuclear blast?” He tapped a finger to his cheek, then smirked. “Just a little, right here… and then we can call it even.” 

“Kiss this,” Jane growled, flipping him off as she unbuckled herself from the co-pilot’s chair. “I don’t ever want to do anything like that again,” she moaned, putting her head in her hands. “Once was more than enough.”

“I don’t know, it was kinda fun for me,” Joker teased, then stopped when he saw the look on her face. “Oh fine, have it your way,” he grumbled, then waved at her face. “Go see the doc, Jane Brain- you sound like you swallowed a bucket of frogs and your throat looks like you have a new tattoo on it.” Joker paused for a second, then grinned as she stood up. “Wait, did you ever get that tat on your-” 

“Say one more word and you’re going to wish you’d stayed behind with the bomb,” Jane snapped, then leaned over and threw her arms around his shoulders. “Thank you,” she whispered, placing a kiss on his cheek before hugging him again. “Thank you for getting them out of there, Joker… and for bringing them back safe.” 

Blushing, Joker lightly patted her shoulder. “You’re welcome,” he said gruffly, then sighed. “Though considering the gut wound Jenkins has, I’d say that safe is debatable.”

She sighed, releasing the pilot and shaking her head as she stepped back. “I can’t tell if that man has a death wish or a horseshoe shoved up his ass- at this point, he and Nih need VIP passes to the medbay.” She paused and started to laugh, but the pain in her throat made her stop. “Come to think of it, the entire B-team is in there right now- looks like I’m gonna have to have a talk to Nih about how he’s running things”

“Hey, you and Johnny aren’t that much better,” Joker said teasingly, thankfully ignoring her emotional outburst. “Don’t act like you don’t have reserved seats in there, too.”  
  
“But we’re not talking about me right now,” she said curtly, pointedly ignoring his laughter as she made her way down to the medbay.


	66. I'm fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Virmire looks different for everyone

_ _

* * *

For the first time ever, the medbay of the Normandy was full. 

Everywhere Nihlus looked, there were bodies. Ash and the members of her team were being looked over, as well as Jane and John, and Jenkins was being treated in a bed nearby. In addition, Kirrahe’s team was being examined and treated as well, meaning that the mess hall had turned into an impromptu overflow room- as a result, Sol had left the medbay to perform triage. He’d expected her to dissolve into a mess when she saw John sitting in a chair, but she’d simply given him some medicine and told him to go get cleaned up- she said she’d be meeting him in their room shortly. _Benefits of mating with the medic, I suppose,_ Nihlus thought as Sol hustled him inside the medbay, and let out a groan when Chakwas stopped in front of him. “There are others in worse condition,” he grumbled. “I’m fine.” 

“You’re not fine,” Chakwas retorted. “The old injury is ruptured and you need to get that plate reset before it heals wrong… _again_.” The doctor glared at him for a moment, then sighed. “Lucky for you, your favorite bed seems to be occupied at the moment, so the sooner you let me reset that injury, the sooner you can go back to your room.” 

“If it’s all the same to you,” Nihlus said, looking over at Ash, who was unconscious in the bed next to him- once the adrenaline had worn off, the woman had collapsed in his arms and sent him sprinting into the medbay, “I think I’d rather stay in here.”

“Ordinarily, I would reward your enthusiasm with a nice cot and a warm IV, but in this case, I’m going to have to decline,” Chakwas replied, pressing her fingers lightly against the spaces beneath his plates. “Until we get to the Citadel, I’m simply out of room in here.”

“Then send Williams with me,” he said, hoping his tone was casual. “I’m well-versed in the care of combat wounds, and if I take her, you can have the extra bed- I’m happy to keep you informed if anything happens.”

“You’re full of shit,” Jane croaked from the other side of the room. “You just don’t want to leave your mate.”

Nihlus glared at her, crossing his arms. “Says the woman whose mate is pacing back and forth outside the door like a wounded animal- you've hardly room to talk, Jane.”

“And that’s precisely why _I’m_ going back to my quarters to recover,” she retorted. “That, and the fact that this place smells like cleaning products and misery- I’m losing my shit in here… no offense, Doc.”

“All the offense taken,” Chakwas replied teasingly. “Keep it up and I’m going to keep you here for observation, Jane… space needs be damned.”

“Nope, no takebacks,” she said, rubbing her neck. Then, she looked over at Nihlus for a moment, then back to the doctor. “And as much as I hate to say it, Nih can take care of Ash… besides, if she wakes up and sees him not taking care of himself, you won’t have to worry- she’s gonna beat his ass for you.” 

The doc looked back and forth between Nihlus and Jane, raising her eyebrow- Jane just nodded. After glancing at Ash and then at the barrage of people outside, she sighed. “Wait here,” she said, shaking her head in resignation. “I’ll send you with some supplies… _after_ I get you fixed up.”

_ _

* * *

Sol was rushing back and forth from the mess hall to the medbay, feeling like her fringe was about to fall off. _So many injuries_ , she thought, racing back to get more medi-gel. _So many wounded_. 

“I told you to enjoy the quiet, but you insisted it was too calm in here,” Chakwas needled Sol as she clawed through a crate, looking frantically for supplies. “Didn't I warn a certain young turian about soldiers and medicine?” 

“You did,” she replied, wobbling a little and grabbing the edge of the crate to help her stand. “I just didn’t expect it to be like this.”

The doctor frowned, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Sol, look at me.” When she did, the woman peered in her face for a moment, then leaned back and crossed her arms. “When’s the last time you ate?”

She thought about it for a second, then shrugged. “I don’t remember? It’s been kind of a rough day, Doctor.” 

“Exactly,” the doctor replied. “Go- take a minute and grab something to eat.” Sol immediately started to fuss, her mind racing through the multitudes of things she still had to do, but Chakwas held up a hand. “You won’t be any good to any of them out there if you pass out too,” she said gently, guiding the turian out the door. “ _Eat_ , Sol- no one is dying right now… you’ve made sure of that. Like it or not, you need to take care of yourself too, dear.”

Sol thought about protesting some more, but she also knew that arguing with the woman was going to be pointless- it would be faster to just grab a ration bar and get back to work. “Okay,” she said quietly. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”

“Take a little longer than that,” Chakwas replied, shaking her head. “You’ve done most of the hard work out there- Liara can help me in here while you rest, Sol.” 

Sol raised a brow plate. “I don’t mean to be rude, but…” she looked over at her friend, who was fumbling in the back for something, “Li isn’t the most… _personable_ with patients.” 

“No one is going to die from an awkward question, though some cultures still seem to think you can die from embarrassment,” Chakwas said gently. “Now go… before I put you on an IV drip, Sol.” 

“You won’t do that,” Sol shot back, watching Chakwas carefully to see if she was teasing her- the older woman was hard to read sometimes. “You need me to help out around here.”

“I can and will put you on a mobile cart,” Chakwas said firmly. “I’ve been dealing with stubborn soldiers longer than you’ve been alive, Sol- I’ve got all kinds of tools in my toolbox.”

“Fine,” Sol said with an irritated rumble- if there was one thing she hated, it was shirking responsibility, but she was also smart enough to know when she’d been beaten. “But I’ll be back quickly- there are patients that need-”

“We’ll figure it out,” the doctor replied, laughing as she lightly pushed her out the door. " _Go_." 

As she left the medbay, she was ambushed by Tali. "Sol!" she exclaimed, immediately handing her a dextro ration bar, “are you alright?” 

Grateful for the food and surprised by the question, she opened the bar and nodded. “I’m fine, Tali- a bit tired, but that’s to be expected after a day like this.”

Tali nodded, then gestured to the food in her hands. “Nana sent me up with that- she said you needed to eat something right away and to not take no for an answer.” Her friend looked her up and down, shaking her head at her. “Looks like she was right- you look terrible, Sol!” 

Sol let out an amused chirp as she leaned against the wall, taking a bite of her food. “You’re so kind,” she said dryly. “I thought you were my friend, Tali?”

“I am,” she replied, moving to her side and draping an arm around her. “But that’s why I’ll always tell you the truth- I figure that maybe if you know how bad it is, you’ll actually do something about it.” 

“Just because it’s the truth doesn’t mean you have to be mean,” Sol pouted as she inhaled the rest of her bar, taking a moment to rest her head against the quarian’s shoulder. “I’m sensitive, you know.” 

“Bosh’tet,” Tali said playfully, squeezing her shoulder and laughing as Sol stuck out her long tongue at her. “Keelah, you’re my _best_ friend,” she said quietly, her voice so low that she could barely hear her. “So _please_ , take care of yourself, ok?”

Sighing, Sol nodded. “I will,” she said wearily. “There’s just a lot going on right now.”

“There’s always going to be a lot going on,” Tali replied. “Just don’t lose sight of what you need in the process, Sol.”

_ _

* * *

When Ash stirred in the bed, Nihlus was immediately at her side. Admittedly, he’d never really strayed too far from her, but just being on the other side of the room made him nervous. _I’m acting ridiculous_ , he thought, but it didn’t stop him from adjusting Ash's blankets and constantly fussing over her. _Is she hot? Is this too many blankets for her? What if the bandage is too tight? Maybe I should loosen it... or does it need to be tighter?_

He’d just started to slump against the bed when he felt a hand stroking his fringe. “Hey,” she said sleepily, causing him to jerk his head up. “Why am I in your room?” 

Nihlus couldn’t help the purr that escaped him as he nuzzled his head into her hand. “Medbay is full, so I told Chakwas I’d keep an eye on you.” He sighed, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief at the fact that she was awake again. “Do you need anything?”

“Other than the head of the geth that shot me, no,” Ash replied, then sighed as he rested his head on her shoulder. “Hey… you took a big hit out there- are you ok, Nih?”

When he shrugged, Ash shifted in bed to look at him and he rumbled with irritation. “You need to stay still,” he snapped, gently holding her in place. “You got shot, Ash.” 

“Wasn’t the first time, won’t be the last,” she said simply, her eyes going wide as the growl in his throat grew louder. “Nih, you sound like someone just doused a cat with water- what gives?” 

“I… I don’t like the idea of you being hurt,” he said stiffly, working to suppress every instinct that was telling him to hide her away, to make sure she stayed safe. “I should’ve been there, Ash.” 

“Then we both would’ve gotten shot,” Ash replied, her tone matter-of-fact as she rested her hand on his arm. “No sense in that, right?” Nihlus just huffed and she laughed, wincing as her hand reached for her leg. “Man, this sucks.” 

“I should’ve told you,” Nihlus blurted out, unable to stop the words from flying out of his mouth. “I love you, Ash… you’re my mate and I should’ve done more to keep you safe… I’m so sorry.” 

Ash blinked, staring at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Um… I’m not dying, Nih- yeah, this hurts like a sonofabitch and I want a drink like yesterday, but there’s no need for a deathbed proposal, you know.” 

“I’ve felt like this for a while,” he admitted, feeling the sides of his neck heating up. “I just… I didn’t want to pressure you.” Nihlus sighed in exasperation, then rumbled as she traced her finger along his arm. “I wanted to give you the romantic dance,” he murmured, pressing his head to hers. “It seemed like that’s what you needed, so… I wanted to do that for you.” 

She chuckled, then slowly moved to rest her hand on his cheek as she pressed her lips to his. “I only want you,” Ash replied, her eyes darting over his embarrassed face. “John… told me that females choose the mate,” she said quietly, her hand sliding over his fringe. “I meant what I said, Nih- I chose you. I... I know I'm not turian, but however you want me, I’m here.” 

“What if it’s for life?” Nihlus asked, his voice so low it was barely audible as he moved his head against hers. “What if I said I want you to be my mate, Ash?” 

“Then I’d wonder what took you so long to ask me,” Ash replied, pressing her lips to his. “Because any idiot could see that I’m head over heels for you, Nih.” 

This time, his rumble of happiness was so loud that Nihlus could see her hand moving with the vibrations, wrapping his arms around Ash to hold her as tightly as he dared. “Then I want to be your mate, Ash.” 

She paused for a moment, making his heart skip a beat. When he let out an uncharacteristically nervous chirp, Ash laughed so loud that she started coughing, making him scramble to the desk to get her a glass of water. “Oh man, that was _amazing_ ,” she wheezed, gulping down the water. “I’ve never heard you make such a cute noise, Nih!” 

Nihlus didn’t respond- he just stared at her, waiting for her answer. When she simply stared back, he rolled his eyes. “An answer would be nice, Ash.”

“Huh?” Then her eyes went wide. “ _OH!_ Of _course_ , Nih- I thought I already said that!” 

The breath he didn’t realize he was holding escaped his body in a whoosh. “Thank the _spirits_ ,” he groaned, leaning over and giving her a deep kiss. “Don’t you ever do that to me again,” he admonished, leaning over to lightly nip her neck, his pulse racing at the thought of seeing his mark there… and hers on him. “You’re lucky you’re injured, Ash- otherwise I think I’d owe you one for that.” 

Despite her condition, Ash got a wicked gleam in her eye. “And just what exactly would that consist of, Nih?”

He laughed, running his tongue along her throat, delighting in the sensation of her shivering beneath him. “Get better so you can find out.” 

She pouted, then ran her finger along the back of his neck- even though his chest ached and his muscles felt like jelly, Nihlus could feel his plates starting to shift and he had to force himself to calm down. “What if I don’t want to wait to find out?” 

“Too bad- you’re just going to have to wait,” he replied, pressing his head to hers and feeling more content than he ever thought possible. “A few days is nothing, Ash… you and I have the rest of our lives together.” 

_ _

* * *

John hadn’t intended to fall asleep, but after taking a shower and crawling in bed, he felt like every bone in his body had aged ten years in a matter of minutes. Between the warm water, the meds, and the sound of JC purring next to his ear, John didn’t even realize he’d passed out until he felt Sol’s hands running through his hair. “Hey,” he said sleepily, slowly prying open his eyes, “how’s my amazing wife?” 

“Tired,” Sol replied, climbing into bed next to him and pulling him close to her. “But relieved to know her mate is ok.”

“Told you I would be,” he replied, letting his hand trail over her arms and raising his eyebrow at the lack of cuffs on her wrists. “Nana training you that well?”  
  
“More like I can barely summon the energy to stay awake, much less create anything biotic,” Sol murmured, burying her face into his neck and nuzzling her head against him. “Spirits, I don’t know how you all do this!”

“I’d say it gets easier over time, but I would be more than happy for you to never have to do anything like this again,” John replied, snuggling up closer to her and sighing as she wrapped her arms around him. “But... I’m proud of you, Tiny- I hear you stepped up out there.” 

Sol shrugged, then sighed sleepily. “Nana did most of the work,” she said, yawning. “All I did was shield Jenkins and Tali.” 

He shifted, then looked up at her. “Seriously? You don’t see how impressive that is?”

“All I did was contribute some energy,” she muttered. “Tali saved Jenkins by re-wiring a bomb. Nana took out a whole squadron of geth like it was nothing- I don’t see what I did as impressive, Johnny.”

John scoffed, shaking his head. “You Vakarians,” he muttered. “I swear, that dad of yours must’ve really done a number on you guys.” When she gave a confused-sounding rumble, he tapped her on the forehead. “You and your brother always harp on what you think could be better… you never see how well you’ve done.” Sol started to protest, but John put a finger to her lips. “Nana is older than dirt, Tiny- of _course_ the old bat is impressive. Hell, she damn near strung me up by my toes when I first met her. But you went out there, into a _battle_ and used your powers… and you did it _well_. That’s pretty fucking amazing, Tiny… and I’m proud of you.” 

Now that he knew what to look for, he could see the flush creeping up the side of her neck and he grinned. “Why are you like this?” Sol murmured, stroking his hair. “You think so highly of me… and I don’t understand why.” 

“Because for some reason, I see what you can’t,” John said firmly, resting his head against hers. “And,” he added with a grin, “I know just how awesome my wife is- I’d be a shitty husband if I didn’t… and an even shittier friend.”

“Speaking of that,” Sol said quietly, then hummed softly as she took his hand in hers, “I know Jane has to speak to the council when we get to the Citadel… but do you think we could do something while we’re there?” 

“Long as it’s legal, I’m down for anything,” John replied, then laughed. “Hell, let’s be honest, if you’re suggesting it, I’m probably down for the illegal shit too… long as we don’t get caught.”

Sol laughed, then shook her head. “It’s not a bad thing, I promise!” She ran her finger over his knuckles, then sighed. “I want to get rings… like the humans do.” 

John raised an eyebrow, then looked down at her hand for a moment before glancing back to Sol’s face, her expression earnest. “You sure about that? I mean, I got a pretty big chunk missing from my shoulder that says you’ve got a lifetime claim on me… care to share the need for the jewelry? I can’t imagine a ring is gonna be all that comfortable for you, Tiny.” 

Sol sighed, then closed her eyes. “I want something of yours when you’re gone,” she said, her sub-vocals humming- John couldn’t tell if she was anxious, scared, or embarrassed right then. “I have your tags, and don’t get me wrong, they helped- it’s just… I want something that’s ours," she said, burying her face into his neck. "Is that stupid?” 

He shook his head. “Not at all. Look, I’m not opposed to doing it, but I want you to be comfortable, too.” When she let out a dejected-sounding chirp, John thought about it for a moment, then smiled. “Hey, I got an idea- how about I get you the human one, but we put it on a chain?” He tapped her chest with his finger, then smiled. “This way, you can always keep it close to you.”

“I think I like that,” she said sleepily, lazily tracing a talon across his arm. “I know it’s a stupid request, but it really would make me happy.”

John just laughed. “Hell, if it’s that easy to make you happy, then it looks like I’m going to kick ass at this whole mating thing. Plus, I’m not complaining about a ring- it does me a favor and tells all the humans that I am officially off the market. It’s gonna be a lot easier than me fending them off left and right, so…”

Sol just bopped him on the head, making him snicker. “Johnathan Alexander Shepard," she said reproachfully, poking him in his side, “you stop that right now!” 

“Whatever you say, dear,” John replied, eagerly stifling her admonishments by pressing his lips to hers.


	67. Little Comforts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Garrus take a moment for themselves; Sol makes breakfast for the crew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early Post! If you celebrate it, Merry Xmas- here is some NSFW content in Jane's section! (I know, what a gift today)

_ _

* * *

Jane woke up to a talon poking her lightly in the side. She rolled over and tried to ignore it, but the poking continued, unabated. Finally, she tossed the covers over her head and groaned. “If you’re going to keep poking me, couldn’t you at least do it the fun way?” 

“Thought about it,” her husband replied, his smooth voice rumbling next to her ear. “Decided I should wait and see if my mate was in one piece first.” 

Rolling over, she found herself face to face with Garrus’s smirking face, his mandibles quirking with amusement. “You’re going to be the one in multiple pieces if you don’t leave me alone,” she teased, lightly tugging on his right mandible. “I’ve had a rough couple of days, you know.”

“And your mate is _trying_ to do something about that, but it seems a certain squishy human won’t let him,” he murmured, sliding his hand under her shirt. “I wonder why that is?” 

“Well, I could be persuaded,” Jane said teasingly, moving her hand behind his head and tracing small circles in the spaces between his plates. “I mean, it’s not every day you wake up with a gorgeous turian in your bed.”

Just as she thought he would, his eyes lowered and he started to rumble, letting his hands slide down to her waist. “That’s funny,” he replied, lowering his head and pressing his lip plates to her ear. “I wake up to my beautiful and squishy human every day in mine.” 

“Not a compliment,” Jane murmured, leaning forward and kissing his cheek. “Care to try again?” 

“Hmm,” Garrus replied, shifting the covers as he slid her shirt over her head and tossed it across the room. “How about…” he let his hand hook inside the waistband of her underwear, making Jane gasp as his finger brushed over her, “I wake up and thank the spirits for my wonderful-” he lowered his head, guiding her on her back and trailing his tongue down her stomach, “-beautiful-” he slid her panties off, planting kisses on her thighs, “-and sexy mate.” His bright blue eyes gleamed as he stared at her, his hands easing her legs apart. 

As he moved between them, he headed back towards the head of the bed, resting his weight on the palms of his hands. “Is that better?” Garrus asked, lowering his head to hers, the sight of him exposed and glistening made her smile as he hovered over her. “Does that sound more like a compliment?”  
  
“Depends,” Jane murmured, sliding her hands down his sides. “Right now, I hear lip service… care to show me you mean it?” 

“I _am_ all about action,” he teased, nipping her neck as he lined himself over her entrance. “Sure you don’t just do this for all the handsome turian men you happen to wake up next to?” 

“Nah,” Jane replied, arching her hips to meet him. “This kind of thing is reserved for the love of my life.” 

“Hmmm... I always said you were much better at this flattery thing than I was,” Garrus murmured, every inch of his length setting her nerves on fire as he slid inside her. “ _Spirits_ ," he breathed, moaning as her body stretched to accommodate him, "I love you, Jane.”

“I love you too,” she said, wrapping her arms around him. Soon, he was pressing his hard body against the soft curves of her slender frame and rolling his hips against her, letting the texture of his hard plates scrape deliciously against her sensitive skin. As she clutched his waist and felt him growl with pleasure, Jane felt her stresses melt away- there was no Saren, pissed-off council, or a ship full of wounded soldiers. No, right now there was only Garrus and Jane, taking a moment to be ridiculously in love with each other. Groaning with pleasure as he sank deeper and deeper inside her, she closed her eyes and thanked every deity she could think of for this wonderful being that had, against all odds, found and chosen to love her just as much as she did him. 

Every time Garrus moved, Jane inhaled sharply as his ridges pressed against her walls, each stroke taking her closer and closer to orgasm. She writhed underneath him as his pace quickened, wrapping her legs around his hips as he thrust harder. Soon, the delicious friction built up to a point that she could no longer hold it and she came, screaming his name and holding him until her body stopped shaking. Seeing her release as a cue to seek his, Garrus moved faster, pressing his teeth against her bond scar and growling her name as he shuddered through his climax.

Draping her arms around his neck as he collapsed on the bed next to her, Jane ran her fingers lightly over his fringe and smiled languidly as he let out a contented purr. “Why don’t you wake me up like that more often, hmm?”

“Because,” Garrus said teasingly, pressing his head to hers and running his fingers through her hair, “you’re usually terrifying without your coffee.” 

_ _

* * *

Waking up and helping his wife cook breakfast for the crew and a ship full of salarian soldiers was not something John had planned on doing, but like most things with Sol, once she had her mind set on it, there was no stopping her. _They need food,_ she’d insisted, dragging him into the mess hall to help her find something she could make. _They’ve lost so much… this is the least we can do._

And so, despite his desire to stay in bed, John found himself stirring a suspicious-looking glob of formerly powdered eggs, shaking his head while Sol hummed to herself as she stirred the oatmeal. “You know, Jane would have a fit if she saw this,” he said, working to hide his chuckle as her eyes went wide. “I’m usually not allowed to be anywhere near food that’s meant for human consumption.” 

Sol exhaled as she whacked him with her spoon, then rolled her eyes when he dragged his finger over the trail of oatmeal on his arm and licked it off. “I’m supervising,” she said curtly, tossing the spoon in the sink and grabbing a new one. “Besides, you aren’t doing that badly, Johnny.”  
  
“Says the person that can’t eat what we’re cooking,” John teased, resting his head against hers. “If your medbay fills up again, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

“Why is he at the stove?” Ash asked incredulously, leaning against Nihlus as she limped into the mess hall. “Sol, we’ve talked about this- your husband’s cooking has been labeled as a war crime in multiple parts of the galaxy!” 

“Keep that up and I’m going to spit in your food,” John retorted, sticking his tongue out at the woman as he ladled some eggs onto a plate for her. “A man’s dignity can only take so much, you know.” 

“Anyway,” Sol said pointedly, poking him in the side as she set a bowl of oatmeal in front of Ash. “How are you feeling?” She stared at the woman with concern for a moment before going to a separate pot and setting a dish of something that looked like pink oatmeal in front of Nihlus. “Are your wounds healing ok?”

“A few more sessions with the doc and I should be good as new,” Ash replied, then blushed as she looked over at Nihlus. “This guy is almost as bad as you about my medical care, Sol.” 

“Because that’s my job,” Nihlus replied, placing a kiss on her cheek. The spectre started to get up from the table, but paused when John placed a cup of kava down in front of him. “Thank you,” he said, looking at the two of them with surprise. “Not that we don’t appreciate it, but what brought this on?” 

Sol set a cup of coffee in front of Ash, then leaned against the counter. “I thought everyone could use a nice meal,” she said quietly, rubbing her hands together. “It… it’s been rough, and there are still so many patients in the medbay… I thought if I could do something to make them feel better…” 

John wrapped a hand around her waist, making her chirp before resting her head on his shoulder. “You’ve done more than enough,” he said firmly, pressing his head to hers. “When we get off this bucket, I’m treating you to a full day of relaxation, Tiny- you deserve it.” 

“Just don’t let him cook for you,” Ash muttered, squealing as Nihlus nipped her neck. _Wow_ , John mused, looking over the two of them. _Mr. Prim and Proper actually… showing affection? In public? That’s new._ “So,” he said casually, clearing his throat as he looked at the two of them, “are congratulations in order around here?” 

Nihlus looked at Ash, who nodded. “Yeah,” she said, her cheeks turning bright red. “I think they are.” 

Sol let out a happy-sounding chirp, then raced over to the woman. “Spirits, it’s about time!” She wrapped Ash in a gentle hug, then slapped Nihlus on the arm. “Took you long enough! Why did you wait so long to mate with her?” Then she peered over Ash’s neck and whacked Nihlus again. “And _why_ haven’t you marked her yet!” 

Nihlus held up a hand to defend himself, and John reached over and gently pulled his wife back. “We just formalized it last night,” he said, resting his hand atop Ash’s. “As for the marks… we’re waiting on that- she does have to recover, after all. Besides, Ash knows there’s no need to rush on my account- with or without marks, she is my mate...of that, there is no question.”

“Good,” Garrus rumbled from the door, looking amused and sleepy. “Maybe now you’ll stop announcing it to every turian in earshot.” Then he turned to Ash, giving the woman a polite flick of his mandibles. “Congratulations, Ashley- I’m happy for you.”

Sol trilled happily, then looked over at the stove. “Garrus, there’s gativa in the black pot- Jane has oatmeal and eggs, so if you want to take it to her, feel free. Johnny, I need help making plates for the people in the medbay,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Do you think you can help me?” 

John nodded, then chuckled as he heard Ash make a sound like a whip cracking behind him. Resting his back against the counter, John surreptitiously scratched his nose with his middle finger, making Ash giggle. “Of _course_ , Tiny,” he said pointedly, staring at Ash and trying not to laugh as the woman rolled her eyes. “It’s _no_ trouble at all helping you feed everyone on this ship before _I_ ever get the chance to eat anything.”

“You’ve been sampling the food the entire time,” Sol shot back, poking him in the side. “Stop trying to make people feel sorry for you, Johnny!”

“Only if you promise to keep me in line,” he retorted, laughing gleefully as she swatted him on the ass.

_ _

* * *

Sol and John walked into the medbay, with her mate proclaiming proudly that it was chowtime as he brandished plates of food. Outwardly, she groaned, but deep down, she was pleased with his exuberance- she’d been scared that he wouldn’t want to help, or worse, say that her plan was pointless. But no- as usual, John was by her side the entire time, keeping the mood light around the medbay as he wheeled in plates of food. _I don’t care what my father says,_ Sol thought, shaking her head as she watched John bowing like a waiter as he offered Chakwas a plate of food. _John is a good man._

As she shook her head at him, Sol made her way over to Jenkins. The soldier had made massive improvements overnight- his skin was no longer pale and his breathing was better. “I brought you breakfast,” Sol said, extending a plate to the young man. “I thought you could use it.”

Jenkins looked at the dish for a moment, then grinned as he painfully sat up. “I didn’t know you could cook levo food, Sol.” Then he winked, leaning over the side of the bed. “Hey, Shepard, no fair snatching up the good ones- you couldn’t give the rest of us a fair shot?” 

“Never,” John called back, then walked over to Sol, placing a kiss on her cheek. “I know a good thing when I see it, Jenkins.” 

Sol felt the sides of her neck flushing, and she bowed her head. “Stop it, you two,” she admonished, her embarrassment climbing. “Ritchie, you need to eat.” 

“Ritchie?” John glanced over at Sol, who just blushed even harder. “Are you out here putting the moves on my wife, soldier?”

Jenkins held up his hands and laughed. “Not at all, sir- she told me I was to call her Sol, and I didn’t feel right not giving her my nickname too.” Then he winked at Sol, who giggled. “Least I could do for the woman that keeps saving my life.” 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to land in her medbay,” John said teasingly. “Don’t let the charm on this guy fool you, Tiny- he’s just trying to be all cute and unassuming so he can lure you away from me.” 

“Not a chance,” Sol said, laughing. “I’m a Shepard now, remember?” 

“Damn right,” John called out, saluting to Jenkins and wheeling the cart out the room to get more plates.

Jenkins just shook his head and laughed, watching as John walked away. After a moment he paused, giving Sol a sheepish-looking grin. “Wait- I didn’t get you in trouble, did I?” 

Sol shook her head. “ _Spirits_ , no- if he was upset, I do believe you’d know about it. Johnny isn’t the type to keep things to himself.” As Jenkins started his breakfast, Sol checked his vitals and nodded with approval. “You’re doing much better- I’m pleased.” 

“With you and the doc on the case, I’m not surprised,” Jenkins replied, shoveling a spoonful of eggs into his mouth. “And by the way, you did good out there, Sol- thinking about joining the B-Team? I’m sure Kryik wouldn’t mind- we could use a good biotic, you know.” 

“Oh no!” Sol said quickly, shaking her head. “That… that was a one-time thing- I’m a medic, not a soldier, Ritchie.” 

He just stared at her, disbelief written on his face. “Not too many medics I know that can handle a shotgun, not to mention holding biotic shields while under enemy fire- you’ve got talent, Sol.”

“I was just trying to do my part to make sure everyone was ok,” Sol replied, trying to dismiss the soldier’s words. “It’s not a big deal.” 

“And you did pretty damn good on Feros,” he continued, wincing when Sol might have stuck him a little harder than she should’ve. “Look, I’m not saying you need to go out and lead the charge like Williams or anything… but you’re a lot more useful than you’re giving yourself credit for, Sol.” 

“That’s good to hear, but I like medicine, Ritchie,” Sol replied, smiling at the man and wondering if one day he might consider her a friend. “It’s a good feeling to be able to help… and I’m super happy that Chakwas is teaching me about human medicine, seeing as I don’t have a job anymore.”  
  
Jenkins looked confused. “What, did you quit to travel with us?”

She shook her head. “I took a leave of absence, and Janey made a call to extend it, but…” Sol glanced over at John- her mate was torturing Liara, much to the delight of the other patients. “I didn’t plan on mating with Johnny when I left, so…” She shrugged, then sighed softly. “I guess I don’t know if going back to Palaven is what I want anymore.” 

“What do you want?” Jenkins asked, shoveling oatmeal into his mouth. “I mean, I always wanted to be a soldier, but… you look like you don’t have a clear path in mind.”

“These biotics certainly aren’t helping, that’s for sure,” Sol groused, crossing her arms as she leaned against his cot. “To be honest, I never had a plan… it was always…” She thought about it for a moment, then laughed mirthlessly. “Like I was waiting, I suppose. I figured my dad would mate me off, and that would be that- I never thought there would be much point to wanting anything for myself.” 

Jenkins paused, then frowned. “That’s not good- sure, your parents can want stuff for ya, but you’re allowed to have your own dreams, Sol.” 

“You aren’t turian, Ritchie,” Sol said quietly. “Gar was supposed to be the one to carry on the family name, but since he mated with Janey…” Her voice trailed off, then she smiled. “I was supposed to be the good little girl and do what was best for the family… and now look at me- off on a ship with my spectre sister-in-law, mated to a human, and a fledgling biotic.” Sol let out a sad little chirp and sighed, squaring her shoulders as she got to her feet. “But, enough pity from the horrible turian,” she said brightly. “ _You_ need to eat the rest of your breakfast… and get better. We’ll be at the Citadel in a little bit- you’re going to want to be back on your feet for that, right?”

Jenkins smiled, but before she could leave, he grabbed her arm. “For what it’s worth, I’m damn glad you came, Sol.” Realizing that he was holding her wrist, he let go and looked away, a flush creeping up his cheeks. “But you need to think about what you want… and if you and Shepard are staying on the Citadel, maybe you should talk to the doc about giving you a reference- I mean, she came from Huerta, so I’m sure she’s got contacts that might talk to you… if you want.” 

“Why do you care what I do?” Sol asked curiously, then winced as she realized how abrasive her statement sounded. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for the concern, but it’s just… _strange_ to me that a human I barely know would care about my well-being.” She paused, then trilled uncomfortably. “And I like you… as a friend, but you do realize I _am_ bonded, right?”

At that, Jenkins laughed so loudly that the others in the medbay turned to look at him. “Um,” he said politely, fiddling with his hands, “I don't know how to tell you this, Sol… but you’re really not my type.” 

Sol just stared at him. “I don’t understand- you don’t like turians?” Jenkins just smiled, then inclined his head toward John- instantly, Sol’s eyes went wide. “ _Oh_ ,” she said, finally getting the hint. When he nodded, Sol just grinned. “Well, to be clear, he’s off the menu as well, so don’t you go getting any ideas, Ritchie.”

“And there you go, crushing my dreams again,” Jenkins said teasingly. “Don’t worry... I know he’s not available- besides, how was I ever gonna measure up to you?” 

“Flatterer,” Sol chided, patting him on the shoulder as she made her way over to her next patient.


	68. Curveballs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Normandy heads back to the Citadel to talk with the council

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you celebrate it, hope you had a great holiday. But in the meantime... we're launching this chapter a little early!

_ _

* * *

Jane sat at the comms table, drumming her fingers. “This makes no sense,” she mused. “We _know_ we have to go to Ilos. Based on the vision burned into my brain, we know that’s where Saren is going. _And_ ,” she said pointedly, waving her finger in Nihlus’s face, “we know he was in a fucking hurry to get to whatever’s there… otherwise, he wouldn’t have let us go.” Jane sighed, then closed her eyes and ran her hand over her hair. “I don’t understand it… this just doesn’t seem right, Nih.”

He frowned at her, flicking his mandibles with concern. “Have you talked to Anderson? Maybe he can press upon the council the importance of our mission?” 

Jane shook her head. “First thing I tried, Nih- he says he’s as in the dark as we are. I’d ignore them, but I don’t want to get Uncle David into trouble.” She opened one eye and stared at the turian across from her. “I think it’s time you resurrected, dead man- hell, Saren knows you’re on the case now, so there’s no sense in hiding anymore.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Nihlus replied, idly rubbing his mandible and humming thoughtfully. “Maybe my presence can help cut through some of this inane chatter and get us back on track quickly.” 

“Worth a shot,” Jane agreed, kicking her feet up on the console and laughing when Nihlus shoved them down. “This is my ship,” she said teasingly. “I’m allowed to relax, you know.” 

“And you’re also the commander, not some ill-trained varren,” Nihlus shot back, his tone just as amused. “At least _pretend_ to have some decency, Jane.” 

“But I don’t,” she wheedled, placing her elbows on the console and cradling her head in her hands. “Besides, you knew how I was when you picked me- I happen to think it’s part of my charm.”

“It’s something, all right,” Nihlus replied, chuckling as he shook his head at her. “But… I suppose you’re right- the time for hiding is long since past.”

“Yeah, it’s also kind of hard to mate with a dead guy,” Jane teased, watching him for a reaction. “But, speaking of that… did you tell her?”  
  
“I did,” he admitted, running his hand over his fringe and rumbling with embarrassment. “We… agreed. Last night.” 

Jane shook her head, then grinned- it was about time he finally accepted what everyone else could see. “You make it sound so formal, Nih- it’s supposed to be a good thing!” She smiled, then reached for his arm. “Are you happy?”

Nihlus smiled, and he got a look in his green eyes that Jane recognized- it was the same kind of look Garrus got when he saw her come into the room. “More than I ever thought possible.” Sighing, Nihlus lowered his eyes. “I used to be jealous of Vakarian,” he admitted, his sub-vocals rumbling uncomfortably. “What he had with you… I wanted that.”

Jane just stared at him. “Um, Nih,” she said cautiously, “you know I never-”

He held up a hand to stop her. “I’m well aware of that,” Nihlus replied. “And to put your mind at ease, I never wanted to mate with you, either. I just… I wanted someone to look at me like I mattered,” he said quietly. “Like you did with him. And for a time, I thought I could live without that, but now that I have it…” 

“You’ll do anything to keep it with you for the rest of your life,” Jane finished, earning herself a nod from the turian. “I used to be the same way,” she said quietly. “Before Garrus, I never thought anyone would want me- I thought no one besides John and Uncle David would ever love me… and I was ok with that.” 

Nihlus’s face fell. “That’s terrible, Jane.”

She shrugged. “Let’s be honest- you weren’t much better. Hell, you lied to me from day one, Nih.” 

He sighed, his mandibles twitching uncomfortably. “I never lied to you, Jane… you know that.” 

She held up a hand. “I know what you’re going to say, Nih, so don’t bother. No matter how you try to justify it, in human terms, you lied... but I understand why. Now…” Jane shook her head and laughed, “Now you’re like my brother… and I couldn't be happier.”  
  
“On that, we can agree,” Nihlus replied, bumping his head briefly to hers. “I don’t have a clan,” he said stiffly, looking down. “Saren was the closest thing I had to one… until you. So, your approval of my mating means a lot to me, Jane- thank you.” 

Jane leaned forward, wrapping her friend in a hug. “I hate to break it to you, but you’re Clan Shepard now, Nih- better get used to this wild varren bugging the shit outta you ‘cause I ain’t going nowhere.” She looked at him and smiled. “We’re family for life now- no takebacks.” 

Nihlus laughed, hugging her back. “Technically, you’re Clan Vakarian,” he said pointedly, releasing her and poking her in the side. “You’re a mated woman, remember?”

“Once a Shepard, always a Shepard,” Jane shot back, lightly tugging on his mandible. “And you should remember that, Nih.” Then Jane let out a barking laugh and shook her head. “Fuck me sideways,” she muttered. “I can’t believe it.” 

Nihlus sat up straight, looking at her with concern. “What’s wrong.” 

Jane just grinned. “I never wanted Ash to be in my family, but thanks to you, she ended up in there anyway... funny how life works.”

_ _

* * *

Joker glanced up when the doors to the cockpit opened, grinning when John and Garrus came inside. “So, what brings the dynamic duo up here? Thought you guys would be necking with your wives or something.”

“Unlike Shepard, I can control myself,” the turian said smugly, earning himself a punch in the arm from John. “What?” Garrus said mockingly, laughing at John. “Did I strike a nerve?”

“No, you’re just being a dick,” John retorted as he slid into the co-pilot’s seat. “He seems to conveniently forget that he’s been married the longest… or all the super make-out sessions I was forced to endure with him and Janey got together.” 

“Running with you guys is going to give me nightmares,” Joker muttered, earning a laugh from John. “So, what’s up? Why the sudden visit?” 

“Janey and Kryik are in the comms room, and Sol is still helping in the medbay,” John replied. “So, we figured we should check on you… and ask what the hell is going on with the council- why aren’t we going after Saren?”  
  
“Beats me,” Joker replied. “All I know is Anderson and the council said the same thing- head back to the Citadel. So, since I’m just the pilot… that’s what I did.” He frowned. “Something doesn’t seem right, though- after all this time chasing that bastard, you’d think they’d want us to, I don’t know, actually follow a solid lead?”

“This just feels off,” John grumbled, then sighed. “But, on a different note, how long before we get there?” 

Joker glanced down at the console, then turned back to his friend. “About six hours- why?”  
  
“Just curious,” John replied, making Joker narrow his eyes. His friend must’ve noticed the look on his face- immediately, John held up his hands and laughed. “What? I’m not allowed to ask a question?” 

“In all fairness,” Garrus said simply, “when you do, it usually means you’re thinking about something- in all this time, I have yet to encounter anything that qualifies as an innocent question with you, Shepard.”  
  
“I just…” John sighed, twirling one of his curls between his fingers. “I just wanted to know if we were arriving during the day or night cycle, that’s all.” 

A broad grin spread across Joker’s face. He recognized that move of John’s from many a poker match. “Aha!” he crowed, thrusting a finger in his friend’s face. “That’s your tell! You always do that shit when you’re thinking- spit it out, Johnny!”

“Jackass,” John grumbled, then sighed. “I wanted to ask you guys for some help while we’re on the Citadel, that’s all.”

“Now _that_ doesn’t sound ominous at all,” Garrus said dryly, earning a chuckle from Joker. Garrus stared at Shepard for a moment, but when John glared at him, the turian let out an annoyed-sounding rumble. “Fine, Shepard…I _suppose_ I can help,” he said dryly. “Just tell us what you need us to do.”

_ _

* * *

Nihlus stood in the doorway and cleared his throat, causing Tali to jump about a foot in the air. “Keelah!” Tali exclaimed, clutching her chest. “You scared me- what do you want, Spectre Kryik?” 

“If it puts you at ease, Nihlus is fine, Tali,” he replied, leaning against the wall. “I needed to talk to you- do you have a few moments?” 

She paused for a few moments, obviously uncomfortable. Then she nodded and followed him into the cargo bay, where Nana and Sol were training nearby. John and Jane were at the weapons benches and fiddling with their guns, but stopped when Nihlus and Tali approached. “Um,” she said haltingly, turning her head and glancing around the room, “is there a reason-”

“The mine didn’t work,” Jane interrupted, her bluntness even surprising Nihlus. “We used it out there and Saren acted like we threw a tissue at him.” 

If he could see her face, Nihlus would bet credits that the quarian was scowling. “That’s not possible,” Tali said firmly, crossing her arms and shaking her head. “My mines work just fine- they worked on Alenko and they work on John.” 

“That may be true, but I have to agree with Jane,” Nihlus replied gently, handing her one of the mines. “I used this just as I did the last time, and it merely nullified the incoming attack- it did not stop the future one.” 

“But that’s impossible!” Tali spluttered, her fingers dancing over the device as she twirled it in her hands. “We tested it on John and it held him just fine!”

“I don’t recall Saren ever having that much power,” Nihlus admitted, scratching his fringe. “I always knew he’d once been Cabal, but he never talked about it- I assumed it wasn’t that important.”

John frowned, then looked over at the older asari. “Hey, Nana,” he said, his face etched with thought, “did you ever run across Saren when you were torturing cabal folks?”

The asari held up a hand to stop Sol, then glared at John, who pretended not to notice. “I never _tortured_ those kids… well... Maybe the little bastards like that boy, a little. Arrogant, that’s what Saren was. Not much ass to back up his mouth either. Why?” 

“Just curious,” John replied. “We know Tali’s mines can take me out, but they did absolutely dick all to him- do you remember if his biotics were stronger than mine?”

Nana seemed to think about it for a moment as she tapped her lower lip. “Boy didn’t have much to speak of for biotics. Barely a spark… Maybe hangin’ around that Reaper did somethin’ to him. Maybe… ugh, Goddess, but this is a heinous thought… maybe he mated with Benezia." The asari groaned, then rolled her eyes. "Goddess, I think I’d like to be sick now.”

“I highly doubt that,” Nihlus replied, blanching. “Saren never seemed to be the type to mate with anyone.” Then he paused, shaking his head. “However, I fully admit that what I thought I knew about him might not be accurate anymore.”

“Well now… if he’s not catalyzed himself with a stronger biotic… it has to be somethin’ to do with this indoctrination thing those salarians mentioned. Whatever he’s doin’, he’s stronger than John now,” Nana said thoughtfully and glanced toward Tali and the device she was holding. “So your little toy… what’s that for, girl? The boy’s makin’ an awful big fuss about it.”

“A biotic dampener and stasis mine,” she said proudly. “John had me make it up to deal with Alenko, and it worked just fine… but we can’t figure out why it’s not working on Saren.” 

Nana huffed a faint laugh at that and nodded with a smile that might have scared off the cat. “You might wanna crank that little toy up to my level then. Especially since Saren’s stronger than this whelp now.” Nana waved a hand at John with a chuckle. “I’ll even play pyjack for ya- see if you can restrain me with it.”

John snorted. “Never thought I’d see the day you’d offer yourself up as a test subject.” He gestured to Tali, then sat down. “Be my guest, but just so you know, calibrating that fucker hurts like a sonofabitch.”

The asari stared at John, and Nihlus noted with a pleased rumble that she seemed to find him as irritating as he did sometimes. _It’s nice to know I’m not the only one with some sense._

“Been through worse, kids,” she said and tapped the metal below her knee with a knuckle, snickering at the raised brow John gave her. Then the asari turned her attention back to the turian and tilted her head to the side as she pointed at the device. “You really need this little gadget, Nihlus?”

He nodded. “We can’t risk being vulnerable the next time we meet up with him- I don’t like making the same mistake twice if I can help it.” Nihlus cleared his throat, then bowed his head slightly to the older woman. “Any assistance you can give us would be appreciated.” 

“Careful, I might start thinkin’ you got a couple licks of sense in that head of yours,” Nana chuckled with a nod, turning to look at John with a deadpan glance. “Pay attention, boy. He might just teach you a thing or two.” Scratching at her scalp absentmindedly, she nodded at Tali then, one hairless brow raised in obvious skepticism. “What do you need me to do, girl? Whatever it is… should be quick about it. Can’t imagine that nice boy Anderson would appreciate us blowin’ a hole in the Citadel.”

_ _

* * *

As they docked on the Citadel and Kirrahe and his team filed off the ship, Garrus noticed that Anderson looked grim as he greeted the Normandy. “Vakarian, Natearus,” he said, inclining his head to each of them before turning to Jane and John. “John, it’s good to see you… and I hear congratulations are in order?”

“They are,” he replied, grinning at the man and frowning slightly when the man didn’t fully return it. “Thanks, Uncle David.” 

He nodded, then smiled tersely at John. “I’ll have to sit down with you later and formally meet my new niece, but since the council wants to see Jane right away, I’m afraid it’s going to have to wait.” 

“No rush,” John replied easily, and Garrus could see the wheels turning in his partner’s head. “We’ve got time, so go and get the dog and pony show over and done with so we can get back out on the road- I’m scared if I stay here too long, my bed is gonna start calling me.”

“I can certainly understand that,” Anderson replied, patting John on the shoulder, then clasping John’s hand in his. “Are you ready, Jane?”

Jane glanced back at the ship, then nodded when she saw Nihlus. The spectre had donned his old armor and was walking down the ramp, giving a short nod to Anderson. “Now we’re ready,” she said firmly. “I figured the council might be more inclined to get this over with quickly if I have an adult with me.” 

“Not the worst idea,” Anderson replied. He shot Natearus a look and the asari scowled- the expression on her face was sheer defiance. “Natearus, I think it’d be best if you came too.” 

Curious about what might be bothering the asari, Garrus glanced over to John, but his partner just made a motion for him to keep quiet. _This is odd,_ he mused. _Anderson is military, but he’s never this stiff- what’s going on?_

“Can’t say that I’m opposed to comin’ along, but why? Am I needed in an official capacity?” Nana asked, frowning slightly at the look on Anderson’s face as she crossed her arms.

Anderson didn’t reply, but he looked at Jane for a minute, then glanced up to where the cameras lining the dock were- his mate stared at him for a moment, then her eyes followed his and widened a little. Though he hadn’t said a word, the meaning was clear- _we’re being watched._

Garrus nodded, then shifted his eyes to John- his partner had caught the meaning as well. “Well, we don’t want to keep you,” the turian said casually. Being careful not to be too overt, he leaned over to place a kiss on Jane’s cheek and hooked a hand behind her head. “I’ll check into this for you,” he whispered. "Go handle what you need to."

Jane hugged him back, then moved over to John and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, since you’re here, can you stop by the house and grab me something to eat? I’m starving.”

“Course,” John said, punching her lightly in the arm. “Whatcha got in mind?”

She paused, tapping her finger against her lip. “Um… think you can make me a cockney special?” 

John paused for a moment, then grinned. “Sure, but it’s been a while- send me the recipe?”

Jane groaned. “You have the brain of a flea,” she grumbled, typing something on her tool. “There- lose it this time and I’m gonna hit you so hard you see stars, Johnny.” 

At this point, Garrus was pretty sure everyone there was just as confused as he was, but they all knew better than to say anything about it. John just saluted his sister and she rolled her eyes, waving to him as she went off with the three of them. _Even for these two,_ that was odd, he thought, staring at the man next to him. _What’s going on?_

“Welp, looks like ring shopping is on hold for a minute,” John said casually as they walked back on board the Normandy. “Mind heading into the cockpit with me for a second? I want to let Joker know we’ve got a few things to take care of today.”

Once they were back inside the ship and the doors closed behind them, Garrus grabbed John by the shoulder. “Only if you mind telling me what the hell you and Jane were talking about out there.”

John sighed, then reached in his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. “You noticed Anderson telling us to watch out for the cameras, right?”

Garrus rolled his eyes. “Of course.” 

His partner ignored the sarcasm in his tone. “Well, Jane told me to boot up one of the programs she wrote,” John replied, looking over the data she sent to his omni-tool. “It allows you to peep into any nearby video feeds… as long as you have the right information.” 

“The recipe,” he said, finally understanding what his mate meant. “She wants you to monitor video feeds.” 

“Got it in one,” he confirmed as they walked through the ship. “And since she saw Anderson give this to me,” he said, pulling the small slip of paper out of his pocket. “I’m assuming she wants us to use it to follow up on whatever Anderson thought he had to resort to drug deal techniques to tell us.”

Garrus nodded, “She thinks he’s being monitored… and wants us to find out who it is.” He shook his head, laughing at the sneakiness of his mate- she knew damn well that he could backtrace extranet addresses… and she was counting on him doing it now. “It’s a bit scary how fast her mind works sometimes,” he said with a chuckle as they entered the cockpit. “If I didn’t love her so much, I might be scared.” 

“I’d hold off opinions until the end of the fuckshow,” John said wearily, holding up the piece of paper. “Seeing as how we’re in the middle of a nice little shit sandwich right now.” 

Frowning, Garrus cocked his head. “What makes you say that?”

His partner handed the paper to Joker, who let out a yelp as soon as he read it. “Because the council is about to ground the Normandy... and they want to send you and me back to C-Sec,” John said angrily, clenching his fists. “So, if that wasn’t enough, anyone interested in hearing the punchline?”

Garrus just stared at him. “Are you kidding me? You mean that wasn’t it?”

“‘Fraid not,” John replied, signaling for the two men to follow him into the comms room. “It also looks like Uncle David is _pretty_ sure Udina was the one that sold us out.” 


	69. Treachery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The council and Udina are unwilling to see the truth about Saren and the reapers

_ _

* * *

Ash frowned as they watched the screen, then turned to John. “You know, if your sister ever decides to go work for the bad guys, we’re all going to die, right?”

“As long as I’m around, you know she’s on the straight and narrow,” John said breezily, purposefully keeping his tone light- while he was smiling on the outside, inside he was ready to punch Udina through the screen. _That bastard_ , he snarled, watching as the council proceeded to dismiss every single thing that Janey said to them. The only one who looked mildly uncomfortable was Tevos, and John was pretty sure that was because Nana looked like she was about to kick a hole in the woman’s head- other than that, it was like watching a pack of wild dogs. Sparatus, the turian councilor, flat out refused to talk to Jane once he saw Nihlus- the look on Jane’s face every time the turian councilor talked was murderous.  
  
Taking a minute to glance around the room, John noted that pretty much everyone’s face was a mirror of Jane’s- Wrex was fuming, Tali was clenching the table, Garrus and Sol were rumbling loud enough to put the Mako to shame, and Liara was practically glowing. Ash and Jenkins weren’t faring much better- though they were barely mobile, they both looked like they wanted to storm the council chambers.

Joker was staring at the screen, his jaw practically on the floor in shock. “Those bastards!” he hissed, raising his fist to bang it on the table- Tali caught it before he slammed it down, probably saving the man a few broken bones. “How could they do this?”

“It’s Udina,” Jenkins said quietly, lowering his head. “Kaid- Alenko said he had connections… told me that if something happened to him, his uncle would get pissed.” The soldier looked as if he wanted to punch something, the grimaced. “But… I don’t understand- it’s the council! Can’t they see how important this is?”

“Far easier to believe in the threat of one man as opposed to an ancient race long thought extinct,” Liara muttered. “And far easier to paint Jane as a lunatic than to admit there is an actual issue.” 

“But I _saw_ that shit!” John exclaimed angrily, losing his cool for a moment and banging his fist on the table- Sol reached over and rubbed his arm. “Look, I get not believing Janey,” he said, taking a deep breath and focusing on his wife’s soft touch, “it’s easy. But Kryik’s telling them too! Why won’t they believe him?”

“Because Sparatus is playing him,” Wrex replied, crossing his arms. “He knows the turian can’t lie- he had to admit he didn’t see it for himself.” Then he looked at John and pointed at the screen. “But… Tear’s got something- do you see it?” 

Forcing himself to see past his anger, he looked over at Garrus for a second before peering closer at the terminal. At first, all he could see was the posturing, but when he focused on each of the councilors individually, he caught it- the asari councilor, Tevos, never looked Nana or Anderson in the eye. “She’s lying,” he murmured, tapping at her image on the screen. “Or hiding something… and she’s uncomfortable around Nana.” 

Wrex nodded. “Makes sense that if she’s playing at something, she wouldn’t want to risk Tear calling her out and making a scene in front of everyone. Plus,” the krogan rumbled, “when have you ever known Tear to stay that quiet? Ain’t like her.” 

John had to admit that Wrex had a point. Nana was almost dispassionate when speaking- her tone was polite and calm, even when Udina was shouting and being downright nasty. “You’re right,” he mused, rubbing his chin- the stubble was tickling his hands and he made a mental note to shave it. “She’s… watching, it looks like… I wonder why?” 

“Ponder that later,” Garrus urged, tapping his shoulder. “They’re leaving the chambers.”

_ _

* * *

Jane was fuming as she stormed out of the council chambers. It was only the buzzing of her omni-tool that signified her program was running that stopped her from going completely insane. _John and Gar are watching,_ she told herself, working hard to keep herself calm. _Can’t kill him, gotta keep it together_. “Udina,” she said through gritted teeth, “what the fuck was that back there?”

The ambassador just smiled smugly, glancing over at Anderson. “Just allocating resources appropriately,” he replied, folding his hands in front of him. “I also think that the two C-Sec officers you’re traveling with would be better suited to remain on the Citadel- it would be a much better use of resources to have those two seasoned professionals here to prepare for Saren’s attack, don’t you agree?”

 _This bastard,_ Jane hissed, no longer able to control her anger. “Why are you trying to dismantle my team, Udina? What did I do to you that’s so goddamn egregious that you’re willing to endanger the whole damn galaxy for it?” 

Udina looked at her, a sneer plastered to his face. “I’m saving the Citadel,” he said smoothly. “I’m not about to send the first human spectre on a wild goose chase based on some _vision_ ,” he said disdainfully. “Spectre Kryik should know better… he is an adult, after all.” Then he glared at Anderson and Nana. “But, considering who your other mentors are, I suppose I shouldn’t be that surprised that you can’t keep a decent crew without littering it with... _family members._ ” 

Nana glared at Udina with open hostility- it was obvious she didn’t like him. “You can quit slingin’ shit like a pyjack, boy. ‘Family’ might just be what it takes to save your sorry ass. Don’t like me, I don’t give a damn- deal with it.” She crossed her arms and leaned in just a little, the leather of her armor creaking. “But... you should really consider exactly who… and _what…_ you’re facin’ down before you say or do somethin’ stupid.” 

Udina held up his hands in mock apology. “I’m not saying anything, Justicar T’Loak. I’m merely pointing out that under _her_ command, the Normandy has her brother, her… _husband_ , and her sister-in-law on board. Not only that, they’ve failed to capture Saren, blown up a key command outpost, _and_ caused the mental breakdown of a decorated lieutenant.” 

“Sometimes family is more trustworthy… less likely to stab ya in the back,” Nana grumbled.

“I like how this asshole forgets that his _decorated lieutenant_ is a xenophobic and psychotic little bitch that tried to _murder_ two members of our crew, not to mention the fact that he _assaulted_ the man who was supposed to be his _friend_ ,” Jane snarled, leaning into Udina’s face- wisely, the man took a step back. “And if I were you, I’d choose my words carefully, Ambassador- the only reason that crazy motherfucker was on my ship in the first goddamn place was that he’s _your_ nephew.” 

At that, Udina stiffened- he glared at Anderson for a moment, then straightened his clothes. “Relationship to me aside, it is unfortunate that Kaidan wasn’t given the opportunity to stand trial for these alleged crimes… it’s quite _convenient_ that he’s now a mental invalid- isn’t it, Spectre?”

Nana snorted softly, clearly unable to hide the contempt written all over her face as she covered her mouth. Barely under her breath, she snickered. “Droolin’ lunatic might be more accurate.”

Udina almost lost his cool at that. “Ah, yes- that ‘justicar justice’ I’ve heard so much about. How wonderful, condemning a man based on the words of-” he turned to Jane and sniffed dismissively, “-her.”

Nana squared her shoulders, clasping her hands behind her back and raising her head defiantly. “You’d do well to research Justicar justice, _boy_. Memories don’t lie and a Justicar is authorized to sift through them.” She narrowed her eyes at him then and sneered. “Care to _see_ some of the memories your whelp carries?”

“Fuck him- he’s full of shit, Nana!” Jane yelled, lunging for the man. She was stopped by Nihlus, who admittedly, didn’t sound too happy about doing so, but the spectre held her firm. “He did every single crime he was accused of!” Jane screamed, pointing furiously at the ambassador. “As far as I’m concerned, that bastard should be rotting in a cell, not drooling in a cushy room with people wiping his ass for him!”

“Then maybe your Justicar and captain should’ve thought about that fact before rendering Lieutenant Alenko unfit for trial- it seems they didn’t have as much confidence in your case as you do,” Udina said dismissively. “As it is, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to go over this with them… seeing as the Normandy is grounded until further notice.” 

“You’re lucky he’s still _breathin_ ’,” Nana snapped, her hands glowing behind her back in barely restrained anger. “Guilt was seen. Judgment was executed.” 

Udina just smiled, his expression dripping with sarcasm. “That remains to be seen. However, at least we know you’ll be here to lead the efforts when Saren launches his attack… spectre.” 

Jane almost broke free at that, bucking so hard that she made Nihlus stumble. “Let me go!” she howled, straining to get free. “I _need_ to kick his _motherfucking face_ in!”

As the ambassador walked away, Anderson leaned in close to her ear. “Let it go, Jane.” Then he stood up and raised his voice so everyone could hear. “This… has been a day,” the captain said wearily. “Maybe we should take a few minutes and regroup- hell, after that shitshow, I think we all might need a minute.” 

“We don’t _have_ a minute!” Jane howled, feeling beyond frustrated. “Every moment we stay here dicking around is a minute Saren gets closer to the conduit! Has everyone lost their fucking mind here?” 

“Jane,” Anderson said firmly, staring her in the eye, “I think we _need_ to have a drink.” 

“Anderson’s right, girl. You heard that pyjack bastard, same as I did. Normandy’s grounded… We ain’t goin’ anywhere.” Nana said quietly as she glared off in the direction Udina had gone. “Go have that drink.”

“But we can’t just _sit_ here!” Jane yelled, feeling her face heat up with anger. “Saren-” 

Just then, a message popped up on her omni-tool, making her jump with surprise.

_JShep: Stop being a bitch and listen to the adults, Janey- they’re telling you to shut the fuck up and wait… sheesh, do you need me there for everything?_

_Oh... I’d forgotten Johnny was watching,_ Jane thought, nodding at Anderson. “Fine,” she relented, feeling Nihlus tentatively loosening his hold on her. “Where do you want to go?” 

“Might as well go to Flux,” Anderson said, then glanced at Nihlus. “No sense in just the humans being able to drink away their sorrows.”  
  
Nihlus nodded, no doubt understanding what the man was getting at. “I suppose a good turian brandy might be in order,” he said coolly. “But, I suppose you might want to head back to the Normandy and inform the crew first- this affects them too, after all.”

Nana sighed with a nod, the angry line of lips telling the tale of her anger. “Right, things to do. People to talk to… and maybe a ryncol laced Thessian sunrise, I think.”

“Whatever you deem necessary," Nihlus said cooly, earning an eyebrow raise from Jane. “In the meantime, walk with me, Justicar- I think you and I have some things to discuss.” 

_ _

* * *

Garrus looked up at the faces of the crew, trying to figure out the next move. Everyone was standing there, looking dumbfounded- they had to be as shocked and confused as he was. “Shepard,” he said quietly, “you know we have to go talk to Chellick- the sooner we get that bit straightened out, the less work that’s going to be for Jane.”

John looked like he wanted to protest, but he held up a hand. “Tali, while we’re gone, do you think you can work on updating those mines? There’s not a doubt in my mind that Janey's planning a way to get us out of here… and I want to be ready when they do.”

“Hope that plan involves getting us out of these docking clamps,” Joker growled angrily, glancing at the console. “That bastard wasn’t joking- we are seriously grounded, guys.” 

“I didn’t think he was,” Garrus replied, letting out an irritated rumble. “Been doing some digging,” he said, bringing up a message and moving it to the main monitor. “Looks like Udina got an interesting message a few days ago… take a look.”

_Ambassador,_

_I understand your concern and appreciate your offer of donations, but I regret to inform you that it will not be possible to release the patient at this time. Despite our best efforts, he has shown no signs of improvement and we are at a loss as to the cause- however, rest assured that the lieutenant will continue to receive the best care possible, and we will report any changes in his condition to his captain and immediate family._

_Sincerely,_

_Dr. H. Reinheart_

“Few days ago, huh? Must’ve gotten that right after Jane talked to the council,” John mused, looking around the room. “That asshat must be pissed about what happened to his psychotic little bundle of joy.” 

“But what happened to him?” Jenkins asked, looking at John with concern. “I thought they took him to HQ for processing.” 

Garrus noted the tint of concern in the man’s voice and let out an interested-sounding rumble- judging by the look on John’s face, he must’ve picked up on it too. _There’s a story here_ , he thought with interest, watching the young private. _Might be relevant, too._

John, however, chose not to comment on it. “Turns out, right after we got back, Alenko went nuts… well, legally nuts, anyway. Anderson got a call from the facility- said that he’d pretty much gone catatonic and there was no way they could hand him over for trial.” 

Garrus paused, running his fingers over the console for a moment, then frowned. “Damn,” he muttered, running a hand over his fringe. “So _that’s_ why Anderson wanted to see the asari.”

John stared at Garrus, his expression cold- no matter how much he tried to play it off, he had a genuine affection for the old woman. “Explain.”

Garrus sighed, then moved the window on his screen to the center display so everyone could see. “Alenko’s records,” he said curtly. “Perfectly fine when we dropped him off, possible diagnosis of stress-related psychosis. But then,” he opened a new file and frowned, “complete catatonic shutdown- no response to any external stimuli.” 

Sol got up, then peered at the screen. “That’s not exactly true… look at this,” she said pointing to a chart. “He might not be responding, but his brain waves are off the charts- something is going on in there.”

Liara cleared her throat, then sighed and lowered her head. “Did he have any visitors, Garrus?”

“I was just about to get to that,” he said, nodding with approval at the young woman. “Turns out that the bastard has had exactly three visitors- Udina, Anderson, and… one Natearus T’Loak.” Garrus looked at Liara, whose face looked grim. “Does that mean anything to you?”

“It does,” she admitted, twisting her fingers. “Natearus is a powerful Justicar,” she said quietly, fidgeting for a moment before turning to Sol and John, “and she cares deeply for the Shepards. If she saw it as just, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she trapped Alenko inside his own mind.”

John stared at Liara, disbelief written on his face. “Can she actually do that? I know she’s a bit of a badass, but that seems… extreme.”

Liana nodded, her expression grave. “Oh yes,” she said, her voice low and reverent. “There are stories about her, you know… the tales of how she could manipulate the mind are legendary.” 

“Well fuck,” John muttered, glancing over at Garrus- he knew as well as he did that Natearus was behind this. “Guess I shouldn’t irritate her so much, huh?”

_ _

* * *

Nihlus looked over at the asari as they walked down the street, being careful to stay out of the line of sight of the cameras. “So, he said casually, “care to explain why Tevos defers to you?” 

Nana clicked her tongue and glanced at the turian with a devious smile. “She knows I’ll skin her. That good enough?”

“Not particularly,” he replied, watching her carefully. _She’s deflecting_ , he mused, a satisfied-sounding hum coming from his sub-vocals. “I saw the way she acted with you in that chamber- she was actively avoiding you… almost as if she was in the presence of her elders. We do something similar, as I’m sure you already know, Natearus.” 

Nana nodded and glanced his way, obviously sizing him up. “I could let ya dig up the dirt, but we have bigger fish to fry…” Nana sighed and continued walking for a moment in silence. “Tevos is… or rather _was_ … my bond-niece.”

“Explains the deference to your authority,” he said simply. “Is it possible that she’s the one that tipped off Anderson?” 

“If she remembers any of her lessons regarding right and wrong… then it better have been her,” Nana chuckled, the tone almost sounding downright evil.

“Judging by that, you must know the council fairly well,” Nihlus replied, taking note of her response. “Do you think she’d have any insight into why Sparatus is spirits-bent on ignoring anything Jane says… and how we might be able to get around him?” 

“Laiel Sparatus is a… _chick_ throwin’ a tantrum. Always has been. But, Tev won’t be able to get around him if he sets his sights on somethin’,” Nana grumbled hotly and glanced in Nihlus’s direction. “Better if it was that sweatin’ little butt pucker Valern we had to get past.”

Nihlus raised a brow plate- he hadn’t expected the asari to call the situation that dire. “You sound as if you speak from experience.”

“Which kind?" Nana snickered and raised a hairless brow right back at him. "Experience with that slack-mandibled, pompous ass sittin’ on the council… or chicks?” 

“Admittedly, both, but I don’t have the time to explore your breeding habits,” Nihlus replied. “I need to know why a normally rational councilman took to dismissing everything my prodigy said outright. All my research says she’s had no dealings with him- there should be no reason for this. And with Saren’s threat, we need all the allies we can get- stripping Vakarian and Shepard from our crew makes no sense.” 

“Laiel’s scared… that boy’s scared that Janey might be tellin’ him the truth. You can’t tell me the idea of the Reapers being real doesn’t scare the gizzard out of you too, boy.” Nana breathed and shook her head. “That shit just about makes my scalp stand straight up.” She smoothed a hand down over said scalp and continued. “Best guess, he’s still pissed at Vakarian’s mama.”

Nihlus’s brow-plate was now as high as his sub-vocals. “That’s interesting… what would she have to do with anything?”

“Surprised you haven’t dug that up yourself.” Nana hedged and looked straight ahead, making sure to keep her expression neutral.

“You and I both know Vakarian’s records are clean,” Nihlus snapped, growing irritated with her continued attempts at deception. “There’s no way I’d facilitate her candidacy if something was amiss with her background.” Then he paused, taking a deep breath- this was useful information, but it was beside the point- they had more important concerns at the moment. “That being said, I see that Tevos is going to be our only option for information,” he said, trying to keep his tone even. “We need to know what that bastard Udina actually told the council… and quickly.” 

“Never said it was Janey… _or_ Garrus who had a shady background, but I’ll leave that to _you_ to sort out, dear.” She tapped out a quick message on her omni-tool before closing it down again when it pinged a moment later. “While you’ve been diggin’ your talons in and tryin’ to gouge out details, I was settin’ up a little meeting. Care to join me while I pay Tev a little visit?” Nana all but hummed with a coy smile as she nodded toward a turn-off she meant to take.


	70. Pieces in Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Normandy sets their plans in motions

_ _

* * *

As they watched Jane walk away, John rubbed his temples- this day was getting better and better. “Tiny,” he said, exhaling deeply and trying to ignore the eyes of everyone else in the room, “can I talk to you for a moment?”

Sol stared at him for a moment, her expression full of concern- considering the level of horseshit that had taken place today, he couldn’t blame her for being nervous. “Of course,” she replied, walking out the comms room and waiting for him. “What’s on your mind, Johnny?”

John sighed as he walked down the hall, feeling terrible about having to bring this up. “Look,” he said nervously, running his hand through his hair, “you know this is probably going to come down to me having to quit C-Sec, right?”

Sol just looked at him like he was stupid. “I sort of figured that was going to happen,” she said slowly. “I mean, I didn’t think you were going to leave us, Johnny- I think your family is much more important than that.”  
  
He exhaled with relief, wrapping his arms around her. “Are you ok with this? I mean, this affects you too- you’re about to be married to a jobless bum if they fire me, Tiny.”  
  
Sol just rested her head against his, purring as she ran her hands through his hair. “And if you _don’t_ help your sister and this madman wins, I think you not having a job will be the least of our worries, don’t you?”

John laughed, shaking his head. “Why weren’t you on the council, Tiny? You seem to have a lot more sense than they do- can we swap you for the turian guy?”

“I’m afraid my skills are more medicinal than diplomatic, Johnny,” she replied, walking toward their room. “Are you going to meet Jane?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Willing to bet my last credit your brother is already pissed at me for being in here- he probably wants to get going already.”

“Don’t go betting our credits,” Sol said teasingly. “We might be poor when this is over, remember?” 

“You’re absolutely terrible,” John replied, kissing her on the head. “And I love you for it.” When his wife smiled back and reached for the cat’s harness, he raised his eyebrow. “Heading out?”

Sol nodded. “I need to take a walk… figure JC won’t mind heading out for a while. And you,” she said firmly, “need to go help Janey- use that brain of yours to get us out of this mess.” 

“Again, how did I get so lucky?” John asked, shaking his head as Sol roused the sleeping kitten. “What did I do to deserve such a wonderful and supportive mate?”

The turian woman smiled at him, her blue eyes sparkling with mirth. “Not sure,” she said teasingly. “But we have our entire lives to figure it out.” 

_ _

* * *

“You all right?” Jenkins asked from the doorway as Sol got JC strapped into his harness- she knew that John would message her when everyone was on their way back to the ship, and she couldn’t stay inside a moment longer. “Are you… about to walk the cat?” 

Sol nodded, scratching the kitten on the chin and getting to her feet. “I am- he likes it. I figured since we’re stuck here for the time being, I might as well let him get some fresh air.”

“You’re taking the cat outside?” The soldier stared at Sol blankly for a moment, then looked back at the kitten. “And he… just _walks_?” 

“Yes,” Sol replied, cocking her head with confusion- everyone always asked her this question, but she couldn’t understand why. “Should he not?” 

“You really must be magic,” Jenkins said with a laugh, making Sol blush. “Mind if I walk with you? Might be good to stretch my legs… plus I think I want to see this sorcery of yours.” 

_He’s trying to watch over me,_ Sol thought, laughing to herself. “If you like… JC and I don’t mind the company.”

“I might be a little slower,” Jenkins warned as they headed for the exit. “Hope that’s not a problem.”  
  
“Not at all,” Sol replied, gesturing to the tiny ball of fluff strutting in front of her. “JC is still tiny- he moves rather slowly.” Jenkins laughed, and they made their way off the ship, walking through the docking station. “So,” Sol said, fighting back a laugh as the soldier stared at the kitten with shock, “now that you’ve seen him, is it really that strange?” 

“Stranger,” he mused, bending down to pet the kitten. “I’ve never seen anything like this, Sol.” 

Sol just laughed and they continued along, not really talking as they watched her proud little warrior fiercely exploring his surroundings, yet looking for Sol’s approval every few steps. After a few moments, Jenkins started to look pale, so Sol spotted a bench. “He should probably rest- there’s a lot going on right now.”  
  
Jenkins scoffed, but he sat down anyway. “I was fine,” he said irritably. “You didn’t have to stop for me, Sol.” 

“I stopped for him,” Sol replied coyly, holding JC in front of the private’s face and humming happily as he took the kitten from her. “Besides, just walking around with us can’t be that fun for you- I’m sure there’s something else you’d rather be doing.”

“Might not get the chance to when Spectre Kryik comes back,” he said glumly, scratching JC behind the ears. “Figured I should enjoy myself while I can.”

She just stared at the young man, completely confused. “Why would there be a problem?” 

Jenkins frowned, handing JC back to Sol as he put his head in his hands. “Mainly because I’m pretty sure he or your sister are going to throw me off the Normandy as soon as they get back.” 

Sol looked horrified. “Janey would never! You’re a good soldier, Ritchie- why would they do such a stupid thing?” 

“Because,” he said sadly, twisting his fingers together and lowering his head, “I helped Alenko.”

Sol felt all the color drain from her face and she stiffened, unable to believe the words coming out of the mouth of the man next to her. “You… you poisoned my brother?”

Immediately, his head snapped up to Sol’s, his eyes wide. “God no! I would _never_ do anything like that!” Jenkins sighed, then played with the sleeves of his shirt. “Kaidan... he knew I liked him, so he… _used_ me,” the soldier admitted, twisting his lips with disgust. “He begged me to steal Pressly’s datapad for him, said Jane thought he was the one who poisoned Garrus and he needed to clear his name.” The soldier was so angry his shoulders were shaking. “Said if I cared the way I said I did, then I’d do anything to help him.” Jenkins shook his head, then snorted. “I was an idiot… I should’ve known better.” 

Sol reached over and patted Jenkins on the arm. “It wasn’t your fault,” she said quietly, lightly gripping his hand. “Alenko used you, Ritchie- that’s just who he was. I know Janey will understand- she’s not a bad person.”

Jenkins just lowered his head. “But if I’d just told them, maybe it would’ve helped! Maybe if I had, then none of this stuff with the ambassador would’ve happened!”

“And maybe exactly nothing would’ve changed,” Sol said quietly. “If they weren’t listening to the ones he almost killed, I’m sorry to say that the words of an old lover wouldn’t sway them,” she murmured, looking away as the soldier’s face went red. “It might’ve just meant that you’d get in trouble for being involved with him… and you’re too good a soldier for that, Ritchie.” Sol placed a hand on his, her expression kind. “The only thing you’re guilty of is trying to help a friend… and none of us would _ever_ hold that against you.” 

_ _

* * *

As Nana and Nihlus walked into the ambassador’s chambers, the receptionist shot to her feet. “I’m sorry, but you can’t-"

The asari was growing tired of people simply assuming she was a pushover due to her obvious Matriarch status. Nana glared at the receptionist and sniffed disdainfully as she charged right past the girl- she had no time to deal with a snot-nosed girl barely out of diapers. When she felt the hand at her elbow, her head whipped around and pinned the girl to the spot. Her voice dripped honey, but her expression screamed ‘try me’. “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you, dear. Now… if you don’t mind… back the _fuck off!_ ” 

The turian with her turned toward the now spluttering young woman, then rumbled with interest. “I thought you said you had a meeting set up with her?” 

Nana tilted her head to the side slightly with a one-shouldered shrug. “Did I, dear? She’s here, we’re here… What better time for a meeting? I don’t see a shipyard of choices here for her. Do you?” 

“Interesting philosophy,” Nihlus murmured, watching as the asari councilor’s eyes went wide at Nana’s appearance. “Seems to be working splendidly, don’t you think?” 

“I don’t see you pullin’ strings and makin’ puppets dance, boy. Shut that fly trap you call a face and follow my lead,” Nana barked, marching right up to Tevos. The second she stopped before her, she planted her fists on her hips and glared for a moment. “Mind explainin’ exactly what the hell that was back there, girl?”

“Nana… Spectre Kryik,” Tevos said nervously, rising from her seat and looking back and forth between the two of them. “Please, sit down… and close the door.”

Nihlus cleared his throat, glancing over at Nana. “Though my colleague was quite brash in her introduction, the question still stands- why are you condoning this foolishness? You know full well that the reapers are the true threat- why cower to the needs of the others?”

Before Tevos could respond, Nana planted her knuckles on the desk and leaned in to look the other asari in the eyes. She huffed an almost disgusted sigh and shook her head. “Because she’s just as scared as they are.” 

The asari councilor just sighed. “As it were, Udina came in here, furious about a patient at the Alliance medical facility,” Tevos said, sitting down and trying to keep her composure. “When I asked why he thought this was any of my concern, he thrust the visitor logs in my face.” She turned to Nana, her face stern. “Imagine my surprise when I saw your name on there.”

“Udina should have trained his whelp better. The brat committed a crime… against _my_ charges. The Code demanded justice and I delivered it,” Nana grumbled stiffly, continuing to glare at the asari councilor. “Best you don’t poke your nose in where it’ll get snipped off.”

Tevos just sighed. “I have no desire to know any of the details,” she said quickly. “I was simply hoping that your charge would bring concrete proof to refute Udina’s assertions- when she did not, I had no choice but to side with the other councilmembers.”

 _Has to be the reason Anderson wants this girl yanked up by her tentacles. Must have figured I’d be the one who could do it too_. “So you’re just gonna cow-tow to that idiot’s demands?" Nana growled, her tone laced with obvious contempt. "Thought you had more backbone than that, girl. Thought I taught you better.” 

“I’m a pragmatist,” she said simply. “But I am also still loyal to family, which is why I got in touch with her captain- I thought he might need options… in case things went south.” 

Nihlus stared at Tevos, his mandibles twitching. “What’s your plan?” 

She smiled, and at that moment, Nana could see the glimmers of the girl's aunt reflected in that calculating expression. “Udina did order the lockdown, but it would be a shame if somehow that got overridden, wouldn’t it? It might prove difficult to trace the source of the fake approval for a few moments.” Tevos stared at Nana, her expression pointed. “A lot can happen in a few minutes while people are scrambling about,” she said simply, shrugging her shoulders. “I imagine one could even… _lose a ship?”_

Nana gave her a slow approving smile then. “Well… it looks like some of it did stick, after all. Might even be a couple of brain cells still struggling along in that head of yours.” 

_ _

* * *

Jane felt the twinges of a headache coming on, but they had no choice- since Anderson asked them to meet at Flux, that was what they were going to do. “You ok,” she asked, looking over at John and Garrus. “You guys don’t have to come with me, you know.”

John just snorted. “Yeah, because we’re definitely gonna let you go off on your own when we know peak fuckery is afoot… try another tactic, Jane.” 

“Your brother is right,” Garrus replied, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Whatever Anderson wanted was important… and I’m banking that there was a reason he chose Flux for your meeting.” 

“Yeah, because it’s where your spirit goes to die,” John offered, wincing at the level of music wafting out into the hallway. “And it’s terrible for spying on anyone… which makes it perfect.” He glanced over at his sister and grinned. “Have you been giving our dear uncle lessons, Janey?” 

“I think we’re finally rubbing off on him,” Jane said with a grin as they entered the club, spying the captain sitting at a table in the back. The man had a drink in front of him, but she could tell he hadn’t drunk any of it. _Ah, appearances_ , she thought, noting his rumpled appearance. _Uncle David is really trying to play the part today._ “And here I thought I was supposed to be the pissed off one,” Jane said lightly, sliding into the seat next to Anderson. John took the seat on the other side, while Garrus sat across from him, which worked out well, seeing as the turian would have no problem hearing the conversation anyway. “What gives, Uncle David?” 

“Yeah, this day drinking isn’t becoming,” John said as he plucked the glass from his hands, draining it in one gulp. “Leave that to the professionals, all right?”

Anderson glared at John for a moment, then nodded surreptitiously- he knew John could more than handle a random drink. “I take it you know what happened by now?”

Garrus nodded. “That you let Natearus melt Alenko’s brain and Udina is a bit upset about it? Yeah, we heard. Also heard that we’re supposed to report back to C-Sec like good little boys… not happening.”

Jane’s jaw dropped- she was still trying to process the first part of his statement. “Wait… Nana really did short out the bastard? Why would she do that?”

John sighed. “Based on the stuff we found, the hospital administration was in Udina’s pocket. Most likely the Plank knew that… and was gonna walk. I know you wanted him to stand trial,” he said quickly, taking note of the look on Jane’s face, “but from what Liara told me, Nana wouldn’t do something like that without a damn good reason- nobody except another asari can walk that thing back… and it can’t be done easily. But, the bigger question is,” he said carefully, looking at Anderson, “who tipped you off to this, Uncle David?”  
  
“Tevos,” he admitted. “Somehow, she found out Natearus was involved and sent word to me about what was going on.” He looked at Jane, his expression grim. “I don’t know any more than that, but she was very clear about the fact that you needed to attend that meeting, Jane.” 

“She didn’t want me skipping out on them,” Jane mused, earning a nod from Anderson. “Smart woman, I’ll give her that… still doesn’t change the fact that we’re stuck waiting for Saren to come and fuck us over, though.”

Anderson cleared his throat. “About that… she did mention that there might be a way around the lockdown.”

Garrus frowned, his sub-vocals rumbling apprehensively. “I’m sensing a ‘but’ here.” 

“You’d be right,” Anderson agreed. “There are two ways to override this lockdown- one is in C-Sec… and the other is having Udina lift it.”

John looked thoughtful. “C-Sec… that’s the emergency override switch. That shit isn’t left unguarded, Uncle David- Vakarian and I don’t even have clearance to get in there.”  
  
Jane, however, was barely listening to her brother. “I assume the order has to come from Udina’s office, right?”

Her uncle nodded, a glint in his eyes. “Right. Problem is, it’s a secure link to the docks. Has to be done from his terminal.”

“Or... something that looks like his terminal,” Jane mused, earning a confused look from John and smiles from Garrus and Anderson. “However, it’s gonna need to be on the same network… which means it has to be done from the ambassador’s building… and I need to sweep the room first to get the proper data.” 

“Udina is not going to let you in his office,” John said flatly. “He hates us all, Jane Brain. Plus, I think a big ass ship leaving the docks is going to be a pretty big clue something’s up, and we can’t leave without you.” He sighed, then rolled his neck. “So… it looks like I’m breaking into C-Sec.” John smiled wanly, then stared at the empty glass. “Well, jail on the Citadel shouldn’t be that bad, right?”

“You can’t do things like that- you’re a married man,” Anderson said sharply, glaring at John before turning to Jane. “Jane… how close do you have to be to deploy the program?”

“As long as you’re on the same network, I can make it look like it’s coming from his terminal,” she replied, thinking- then she frowned. “Uncle David, I can’t have you doing this- if they catch you…”

“If you stay here and don’t stop Saren, it won’t matter what happens to me,” he shot back, placing a hand on hers. “If I can’t be out there with you…then at least let me help you from here.”

Jane got a sinking feeling in her stomach. “We’re supposed to be the bad ones,” she mumbled, squeezing his hand. “You’re supposed to be the adult, Uncle David.”

“Sometimes being an adult is doing whatever you can to protect your children,” he replied, placing a kiss on her forehead. “I’m pretty sure this is one of those times.” 


	71. Criminals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew figures out how to steal the Normandy and get back to the mission

_ _

* * *

“I hate to be the voice of reason,” Ash said quietly, looking around at the faces in the room, “but if this works… that means we’re committing treason, guys- we’ll be fugitives.”

“Better a fugitive than dead,” John replied, looking over at the soldier. “Not saying I want to be a criminal again… but I also don’t want that asshole destroying the galaxy, either.” 

“Neither do I,” Ash shot back, her expression pleading as she turned to Nihlus. “But… Captain Anderson is a good man- I don’t want him to lose everything for helping us.”   
  
“If we do this right, Udina will never know it was him,” Jane said, causing everyone to turn toward her. “The bigger problem is getting in to sweep his office without him realizing we’re behind it.” She frowned, then stared angrily at the console in front of her. “John and I are out- he knows damn well I want to kick his teeth in, and no one is stupid enough to believe that John’s gonna turn on me. Nih can’t go- he’s turian and a spectre… Udina’s gonna smell trap a mile away. And Nana,” she turned to the asari, trying to keep her composure, “I’m pretty damn sure he’d try to shoot you on sight- you have to be at the top of his shit list right now.”

"Don't really care what he thinks of me, girl. He's a pompous ass and I'd tell him so to his face." She gave them an evil smile then and crossed her arms. "Give me a chance, I'll string him up by the peach fuzz on his balls."

“And we’re gonna go with no on Nana,” John said carefully, turning back to Jane. “Any other ideas?”

“I could go,” Ash replied, causing Jane’s head to snap up. “I mean, it’s pretty common knowledge that John and I used to be a thing, and that you and I don’t get along-” Jane started to protest, but Ash held up a hand. “I mean, we do now… _mostly…_ but it’s pretty well-documented that I don’t tend to see eye to eye with you. If anyone on the ship was going to complain about you and the way things were run… it would be me, right?”

Jane felt like shit as she stared at the woman, trying to figure out what to say. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but when you’re not fucking my brother, you aren’t that bad.” Sol rolled her eyes at her, but Jane just smiled sheepishly. “You’re definitely not the same bitch I wanted to punt out of the airlock, Ash- I’m actually… pretty proud to be working with you, believe it or not. You’ve got heart and I respect that- long as you don’t disrespect me or my family, we’re cool.” 

Ash blushed, then gripped Nihlus’s hand. “That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Jane.”  
  
“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” Jane grumbled, feeling her cheeks go red. “It probably won’t happen again.” 

“Might have to… after I save this ship,” Ash replied, straightening her shoulders. “Seriously… send me and Jenkins- we can do the scan. You know he’s good at tech, and he was friends with Alenko-” Jane watched as the private went pale for a moment- Sol patted his hand. “Udina would believe us- he’d think he’d have allies.” She paused for a second, then looked at Jane. “This crew is my family,” Ash said firmly, then glanced at Nihlus. “I’m doing whatever it takes to keep us safe… and get back to business. You can trust me.” 

Jane sighed, thinking about it for a minute. “You sure about this, Ash? I’m sure you heard him- this man is a grade-A asshole… it’s not going to be easy.”

“I can do this,” she said firmly. “Jenkins, you ready for a B-team mission to save the Normandy?”

“I am,” he replied, standing up a little straighter. “Just… just tell me what you need me to do.”

_ _

* * *

Nihlus watched the camera feed on the terminal, his sub-vocals rumbling with nerves. Jenkins and Ash were in the elevator while he and Anderson were in one of the unused offices below. “I have visual,” Nihlus said softly, watching the woman on the screen to see how she’d react to his voice in her ear- if there were any tells, he’d have to remain radio silent. “Can you hear me?” 

Ash just turned to Jenkins, her face firm. “I can hear you,” she replied, her eyes never straying from the private. “Whatever I have to say in there… just know that I love you, ok? Nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to change that, ok?”

Jane’s voice cut in, and Nihlus could hear her hesitation. “Nih, are you sure you want to be on this? I… I can handle whatever gets said, but… it might be hard to hear, Nih- you know how much of a bastard Udina is.”

“Ash is my mate,” he said firmly, ignoring the look of surprise from Anderson. “I’m not letting her go in there alone- end of story.” 

“I have her, spectre Kryik,” Jenkins said quietly. “I won’t let anything happen- B-team sticks together out here, no matter what.” 

“Good luck in there,” Jane replied, the smile in her voice evident. “Look, do whatever you have to do in order to get into that office- I only need five minutes to pull what I need, but I have to be in range of his terminal to do it.”  
  
“On it,” Jenkins shot back, then turned to face the elevator doors. “Going silent now.”

The two soldiers strode into the ambassador’s office, revealing a flustered-looking woman. “Can I help you?” 

“We need to speak to the ambassador,” Ash said, her tone clipped. “It’s urgent.” 

The woman cut her eyes to the closed door behind her, then cleared her throat. “I’m afraid Ambassador Udina has asked not to be disturbed,” she stammered, glancing back up at Ash’s murderous-looking face. “Perhaps if you made an appointment-”

“NO!” Ash yelled, banging her fist on the desk. “Do you know how long I have spent on that goddamn ship listening to Shepard braying about how we’re saving the galaxy while spitting on everything the Alliance stands for? I will _NOT_ leave this place until I get a goddamn report to someone who actually gives a shit!” 

“Sarah,” Udina said cooly, opening his door and staring at Ash and Jenkins, “why are you denying these brave soldiers the opportunity to speak to me?”

The poor receptionist looked as if she didn’t know where to put her face. “But you said if anyone from the Normandy-” 

Udina waved dismissively, then smiled at Ash. “That didn’t apply to the _fine_ soldiers of the Alliance,” he said sweetly. “Please, step inside- I’m always happy to hear from our brave young men and women in uniform.”

“This bastard,” Jane growled, making Nihlus chuckle. “Ash, you have my full support if you want to punch his face in.”

To her credit, Ash didn’t respond, though Jenkins did let out a cough. “Thank you,” she said seriously, nodding at the Ambassador. “It’s been… rough out here, let me tell you.” 

“I can only imagine,” Udina cooed, wrapping an arm around Ash’s shoulder- Nihlus didn’t even try to hide the growl rumbling in his throat. “Chief Williams, Private Jenkins, please, have a seat… and tell me all about it.”

Ash looked at Jenkins, who nodded- the program was running. “Clocks starting,” Jane murmured in their ears. “Keep him talking, Ash.” 

The soldier swallowed, then folded her hands. “I don’t think it’s right,” she said slowly. “They kicked Alenko off the ship, but they keep the three…” her voice hesitated, and she twisted her lips in a sneer, “ _-turians_ on the ship? I signed up to work on an Alliance ship, not a goddamn Hierarchy vessel.”   
  
Udina looked interested, leaning forward a little. “You don’t believe Alenko was guilty of the crimes Shepard accused him of?” 

Ash shook her head. “No sir,” she said firmly. “If anything, one of them probably attacked _him_ first. Can’t tell Shepard that, though- she only sees what she wants to see.” She jerked a thumb at Jenkins. “Hell, he was bunkmates with Alenko- he’d know if the lieutenant was doing something crazy.”

Jenkins nodded, then his eyes darted around the room nervously. “I…I don’t want to get into any trouble with the Commander,” he said quietly. “I’m not sure I-”

“Oh, it’s perfectly all right,” Udina said soothingly, the smile on his face bright and wide. “My job is to _help_ you… in matters that _others_ don’t seem to want to take seriously.” 

“Well,” Jenkins said slowly, looking at Ash and hanging his head, “Alenko _had_ been fighting those infected colonists… maybe that did something to him. I’m… sure he wouldn’t attack So- Miss Vakarian unprovoked.” 

At his slight slip up, Udina frowned. “Is there a problem with the turian female on board?” 

Ash quickly stepped in. “He’s afraid of Spectre Kryik,” she spat. “Shepard didn’t want humans on her squad, so she shipped us off to be with the bird.” 

Nihlus inhaled sharply as she tossed out the slur, only keeping still when Anderson rested a hand on his arm. “She’s working,” the captain whispered. “Let it go- Williams is only covering for Jenkins- you know that.” 

“You seem to have been thriving under Kryik’s command,” Udina said simply, settling back in his chair and narrowing his eyes at Ash. “Is there something you’d like to share, Williams?” 

Ash swallowed, then looked down at the floor. “He’s a spectre, Ambassador. I don’t think I should-” 

“Nonsense,” he said, getting up from his seat and placing a hand on her shoulder. “If there’s something wrong, you have every right to say something… even if your commanding officer won’t do anything about it. _I_ have the ear of the council,” he said, patting her on the arm. “I can help you.” 

Nihlus was seeing red at this point- there was nothing he wanted more than to go into the room and tear the man’s throat out. “Jenkins,” he muttered through clenched teeth, “That program is done, right?”

“I’m _almost_ not sure I should say this,” the private stammered, rubbing the back of his neck- Nihlus immediately understood the meaning, “but Commander Shepard doesn’t like Williams,” he said slowly, glancing over at Ash. “That might be why she sent you with Spectre Kryik, ma’am.” 

_Nicely done_ , Nihlus thought, nodding with approval. “Jane, how much longer do I have to deal with this?” he growled, hoping the woman would have good news for him. “I’m about ten seconds from killing him, ambassador or not.”

“This bastard had some help encrypting his system,” Jane shot back. “Two more minutes and I’ll have his life- keep going, guys.”

Ash must've heard them because she chose that moment to speak up. “He likes me,” Ash stammered, closing her eyes. “I think she made a deal with him, sir.” 

The ambassador’s eyes went wide- Nihlus thought he looked like someone had just dropped a present into his lap. “ _Please_ ,” he purred, patting her hand, “talk to me, Williams- has he been… _improper_...toward you?”

“He forced me to spar with him,” Ash replied, her voice shaking. “Beat me so bad I needed medi-gel for the injuries. After that… it was just… _easier_ to give him what he wanted,” she said, lowering her head. “It seemed safer that way.” 

Nihlus was practically howling with rage at this point. “Ash, you don’t think-”

“This is why I didn’t want you on the line,” Jane snapped, forcing him to focus on the sound of her voice. “Ash, I got it- you can leave now.” 

The soldier nodded, then exhaled. “I’d like to leave the Normandy,” Ash said firmly, staring at Udina. “If we go back and get our things, can you get us a new posting?” 

“It would be my pleasure,” Udina replied, gripping her arm. “And if you want, I have need of a _personal_ security detail on the Citadel- I’d be happy to recommend you for such a posting.” 

_Over my dead body,_ Nihlus thought, his whole body shaking as he watched the smile on Ash’s face. “We have the data,” he said, looking over at Anderson, who nodded. “Get out of there… _now-_ I… I’m heading back to the Normandy.” 

Nihlus didn’t even wait for his team’s confirmation- he just terminated his connection and left.

_ _

* * *

Jane just sighed as she banged her head against the console. _I knew he couldn’t handle that,_ she thought angrily, her fingers flying over the keys. _Goddamn it, Kryik… why wouldn’t you listen to me?_ As she patched into the system, she took a deep breath and shook her head. _I’ll deal with it later,_ she thought as she sent the codes to Anderson. _I don’t have time to play babysitter right now._ _  
_

Just as she finished transmitting the data, she heard a click in her earpiece. “Jane,” Ash whispered, her voice wavering, “have you heard from Nih? I can’t reach him.”

Jane wanted to say she didn’t care, but she realized that the woman must be torn up in knots right now to call her on a private channel, and Ash _had_ gone on this mission as a favor to her. “I haven’t,” Jane admitted, “but if you need me to, I can track him down.” 

“Please,” Ash replied, her voice low. “We’re heading back… but I need… I need to make sure he’s there, Jane- I don’t want to do this without him.”

“Just head back,” Jane answered, scanning the feeds for Nih’s signal. “He won’t risk us leaving without him… so he's around here somewhere.” 

“I hope so… look, if you find Nih, tell him…” Ash’s voice trailed off and she blew out a breath so hard Jane could feel the defeat coming from the woman. “Never mind,” she said quietly. “Just find him, ok?” 

“On it,” Jane replied, terminating the connection. “Anderson, prep that program like I showed you- as soon as these guys are back on board, we’re taking off.” 

“Roger,” Anderson replied, then paused. “You got this,” he said, his voice warm and full of pride. “I’m counting on you, Janey.”   
  
“And I’m counting on you to get out of there as soon as these clamps lift,” Jane said, looking at her fingers. “Tevos is only giving us a few minutes of cover, and I don’t want you getting caught, old man.”   
  
“I know how to make it count,” Anderson answered, his tone making Jane wish she was there to hug him. “Go kick some ass, Janey.” 

_I’m going to make this man proud,_ she thought with a smile as her fingers flew over the keys, scanning for any trace of the turian spectre. When she found him leaning against a stack of crates, she headed outside. “Ash is worried about you, Nih.” Jane wanted to add _‘and we don’t have time for this’,_ but for once, she thought better of it and kept her thoughts to herself. “They’re going to be back soon- will you be ready?”   
  
“I need a few minutes,” he replied hoarsely, not looking at her. “Just… can you do that for me?” 

Jane paused, then shook her head. “Afraid not,” she replied, walking over to him. “This is one of those friend things, Nih. I need you to get back on the ship and wait for your mate- she’s upset and she needs you.” 

“I did force her to spar with me,” he said, sounding guiltier than she’d ever heard him. “What… what if she was really just trying to keep me placated all this time? What if… what if she really doesn’t want this? What if-”

“Stop it with the if’s,” Jane snapped, pushing him toward the ship. “My god, I thought I was the only one with a complex around here, but I see you’re gonna give me a run for my credits.” He glared at her, but she just pointed to the doorway. “Inside… _now_.” 

Rumbling, Nihlus did as he was told, his head slumped down as they headed inside. As soon as the doors closed, Jane whacked him in the arm. “You’re being an idiot,” she hissed. “I told you not to listen, but _no_ , you just had to prove, what? That you could be as sensitive as the rest of us?”

Nihlus just looked at her sadly. “But… she wasn’t lying- I did start this by goading her into sparring with me. It’s possible… she’s been doing all this to avoid another fight.” 

Jane rolled her eyes and shoved him, hard. “Get the fuck over yourself,” she hissed. “Ash told him what he needed to hear! And if you _really_ think that woman was going to do anything that she didn’t want to do, then you must be fucking a different Ashley Williams.” He stared at her, but Jane stayed firm. “Ash has never been good at ‘go along to make shit easy’- it’s part of the reason we both stay at each other’s throats. If she said it, she meant it. And, if you don’t believe me, then sit here and wait for your mate- I’m pretty damn sure she’ll tell you.”

Nihlus started to protest, but Jane just looked him up and down, shaking her head- she’d had enough of coddling the man. “You’re running because this is real and it scares you,” she said firmly. “But guess what- you did it. You mated with her and she’s mated to you, so like it or not, this is your life, Nih- get to fucking talking.”

The turian sighed, running a hand over his fringe. “Jane, I-” 

She held up a hand. “Save it- Ash needs to hear this, not me.” Jane glared at him, then opened her omni-tool. “Ash, I got him- he’s on the ship, so haul your asses back here.”

“Almost there,” Ash replied, the relief in her voice practically tangible. “Thank you,” she whispered, her words making Nihlus wince. “You have no idea how much that helps.”

Jane looked at Nihlus, her expression full of pure _‘I told you so’_. “It’s nothing- thank you for being loyal to the crew, Ash- that took a lot of guts.” 

“Anytime, Commander,” she replied, her breaths coming in ragged bursts- the woman must’ve been running. “I can’t think of a better crew to commit treason for.”

\--

Joker was in the cockpit with John and Jane, staring at the console with trepidation. Even though this was his ship, stealing it _again_ was another thing altogether- he didn’t think he’d be so lucky a second time. “Anderson knows what he’s doing, right?” 

John rolled his eyes. “We’ve been over it a million times- if he doesn’t have it by now, we’re all fucked anyway.”

The commander glanced between the two of them, her fingers flying over the keys of her omni-tool. “I still have access to the cams,” Jane said quickly, bringing up a feed on the display. “Uncle David, you ready?” 

“I have your little program running, Janey,” he said quickly. “Leaving the offices- you should be good to go.” 

Just then, the pilot saw something out of the corner of his eye. “ _Shit_ ,” Joker hissed, pointing at the screen. “Udina’s coming back- what the fuck do we do!” 

John just held up his hand, gesturing for Joker to calm down. “He doesn’t need to be in his office to run the hack- we just need Anderson in the building to deploy it. That being said,” he remarked, staring at the captain’s image on the screen, “it’s going to be a lot better if you, you know, _aren’t_ in the building when we take off?” 

Anderson paused for a moment, then got a wide smile on his face. “I think I have this covered,” he said smoothly. “How much time does that thing need to run, Jane?”   
  
“Four or five minutes,” she replied. “I can see it cycling through commands right now- should pick up the docking signals shortly.”

“Good,” the captain replied, turning to go up the stairs. “Good luck, kids- make me proud.”

“Uncle David,” Jane said slowly, “you’re going the wrong way…” 

“No, I don’t think I am, “ he replied, pushing his way into the ambassador’s office and halting in front of the receptionist's desk. “I need to speak to Udina… _now_!” 

The receptionist looked as if she was done with her entire life today. “Sir, Ambassador Udina isn’t _here_ at the moment-”  
  
Just then, Udina walked into the room, his eyes narrowing when he saw Anderson standing there. “And just _what_ is the meaning of this?”

“Udina,” Anderson said stiffly, “you need to lift the lockdown on the Normandy- Saren is a danger to us all, and-” 

“No, I don’t think I will,” Udina sneered. “Face it- you’re still bitter about him tanking your chances at being the first human spectre,” he said snidely, looking the captain up and down. “Looks like you and your fake ward are willing to say whatever to get the attention you so desperately crave.” 

“This is _not_ about me or Jane,” Anderson growled. “It’s about the fate of the galaxy, Udina- the time for petty grievances-”

“I _have_ no petty grievances!” Udina howled. “Just admit it- you let the wrong one of your brats get nominated for candidacy! You knew the girl was a fucking lunatic-”

At that, there was a collective gasp in the cockpit as Anderson hauled off and punched Udina square in the mouth, making the man crumple like a rag doll. Stepping over the ambassador, Anderson walked casually out of the office, ignoring the gaping secretary as she rushed over to tend to the unconscious twat on the ground. _Was not expecting that,_ Joker thought as he stared at the screen. _I wonder if Janey can get me a copy of this clip for later?_

“So,” Anderson murmured as he made his way down the stairs, “feel like working some magic, Janey?”

“Already ahead of you,” she said, fingers flying over the keys. “Time stamps all adjusted- quick visit you made, Uncle David.”

Slightly scared at the level of technological fuckery Jane had at her fingertips, Joker shook his head, then screamed with joy as the light switched from red to green. “Clamps are unlocked!” Joker yelled, looking over at the twins. “Let’s go!”  
  
“Then what are you waiting for?” John screamed, practically wringing his hands. “Let’s get in the air and get the fuck out of here!” 

“Thought you’d never ask,” Joker replied, launching the Normandy out of the docking bay and careening away from the Citadel as fast as he possibly could. 


	72. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane makes peace with Ash, but struggles with the events of the day

_ _

* * *

_He’s being stupid,_ Jane thought, watching as Nihlus locked eyes for a moment with Ash before skulking away, leaving the woman staring after him in shock. “Give him a second,” she said quietly. “In the meantime, feel like having a drink with me? I got some whiskey,” she said, pulling out a bottle and waving it at Ash. “Maybe a celebratory ‘we made it off the Citadel’ drink?” 

Ash snorted, shoving her hands in her pockets. “I’m pretty sure you can find someone better to have a drink with, Jane.”  
  
“Right now, I think you and I could both use a shot… or three,” Jane replied, walking toward the mess hall and breathing a sigh of relief when Ash started to follow. “I personally would like to scrub large swaths of this day from my mind.” 

“You and me both,” Ash muttered, making Jane chuckle as she got two glasses, setting one down in front of each of them. “So,” she said, watching as Jane carefully poured the amber-colored liquid, “what shall we drink to?”

Jane thought about it for a moment, then grinned. “To being criminals,” she said, raising her glass and clinking it with Ash’s. “...again.”

“I can’t believe you actually bought a bottle of this shit,” Ash remarked, looking at the whiskey and shaking her head. “As shitty as this is, I think it still might be too expensive for my tastes.”  
  
“Consider it your wedding present, then,” Jane replied, taking a shot and shuddering as the liquid burned her throat. “I said I owed you a drink… and I keep my promises.” Jane looked at the empty glass, then laughed. “You know, if we hadn’t wasted so much time hating each other… we probably would’ve been good friends, Ash.”

“Probably,” she admitted, staring at her glass and pouring herself another. “But I thought the great Brainy Janey Shepard didn’t need friends?” She sipped her whiskey, staring at Jane with interest. “Why the sudden change?”

“I found people that were worth a damn,” Jane admitted, extending her glass and watching as Ash poured her another. “Makes a difference… guess Johnny was right- go figure.” 

“Don’t tell him that,” Ash muttered, taking a sip of her drink. “It’ll probably go to his head.” 

Jane snorted. “As if there’s any room for that melon to grow any bigger.” Ash giggled at that, making Jane smirk, running her hand through her hair. “Ash,” she said tentatively, staring at the floor, “I’m sorry.” 

Ash almost dropped her glass, staring at Jane incredulously. “Did I just die?”

Jane rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Bitch,” she mumbled, ignoring the laughter coming from the woman. “But… I’m serious,” she said, looking Ash square in the eye- she’d earned that much. “You aren’t the same woman I used to know, Ash… honestly, I wish this was the version I’d met a long time ago.” 

“Yeah, well, I had some help,” Ash admitted, looking out at the hall. “Nihlus... made me see that I was being stupid and petty… and I was missing out on life by being bitter.” She snorted, then held up her glass. “Kinda fucked up that I had to learn how to be a better human from a turian.” 

“Welp, join the club,” Jane replied, knocking back the rest of her drink. “They tend to do that.” She looked out over at the hall, where Nihlus had crept back into his room. “By the way, your mate is out of hiding now.”

“He hates me,” she said bitterly, reaching for the bottle again. When Jane grabbed her hand and shook her head, Ash scowled. “Why shouldn’t I? I fucked up… _again_. I should at least be able to sleep tonight.”

“You’ll sleep better when you talk to him,” Jane insisted. “And he doesn’t hate you… he’s-” She paused for a minute, trying to find the right words. “He’s terrified, Ash- Nih thinks he forced you into bonding with him.”

This time, Ash really did drop her glass, letting it hit the tabletop with a thud. “What the fuck? He knows that I was just playing Udina, right?” She looked at Jane with panic, ignoring the small river of liquor running toward her. “ _You_ know I didn’t mean any of that!”

“I know,” Jane replied as she grabbed a towel and cleaned the spill, no hesitation in her voice whatsoever. “You are many things, but you’ve always known exactly what you want- in all the years I’ve known you, I can’t think of a single instance anyone’s made you do anything you didn’t want to… and I _told_ him that.”

“But why would he think that?” Ash said pleadingly, looking at the closed door to his room. “I’ve always told him what I want- why would this change things?”

“Because Nih is like me,” Jane said carefully, regretting that she was going to have to say these words out loud. “People like us, we don’t think we deserve happiness,” she said quietly. “We keep waiting for the other shoe to drop so we can bolt and not get our feelings hurt- it’s just… easier to be alone,” Jane mumbled, twisting her shirt in her hands. “And when we find someone we care about, it’s way too easy for the little voice in your head to tell you that it’s a trick, they really don’t love you, and you never really had them anyway.” 

Ashamed, she stared at the floor, not wanting to meet Ash’s gaze. “He needs you,” she whispered, closing her eyes and remembering how she felt the day John sent her away. Jane tried to push the feelings back down, but no matter what she did, it felt like her heart was breaking all over again. “He’s tough with everything else, but with this… he’s fragile, Ash. We… we don’t open up easily, so he needs to know what he feels is real.” 

When Jane looked up, the woman across from her had tears in her eyes. “I never…I didn’t mean to make him hurt you,” she said quietly. “I should’ve never tried to get between you and Johnny…that was really shitty of me, and I’m sorry.” 

“Meh, you didn’t do it- John always had a choice… turns out he chose you,” Jane said, shrugging and trying to play it off- she looked up at the ceiling, surreptitiously wiping her eyes. “But, it’s done and over with, right?” Taking a few deep breaths and trying to compose herself, she gave Ash a shaky smile. “Look, go talk to him, ok? Nihlus needs to know you chose him for the right reasons- don’t let him think your love is built on anything less.”

“When did you get so wise?” Ash asked, blinking rapidly before turning away. “The Jane Brain I knew was always too busy shooting at things or running off at the mouth to ever give a damn about anyone- what happened?”  
  
“I grew up,” Jane answered honestly, patting Ash on the shoulder as she made her way out of the mess hall. “Just like you did.” 

_ _

* * *

John was waiting in his room on Sol when he heard a knock at his door. “Come in,” he called out, his eyes widening in shock when Jane stood in the doorway, looking sheepish. “Since when do you knock?” John asked, then crossed the room and put a hand on her head. “You feeling ok?” 

“Dick,” Jane retorted, swatting his hand away. “It’s not just your room, it’s Sol’s too- figured I should be respectful.”

John frowned, cupping her cheeks in his hands. “Now I know something’s wrong,” he said lightly, tilting her head. “My sister would never talk about being respectful of her own volition.”

“This is the last time I try being nice to you,” Jane huffed, letting the scent of whiskey waft over him. “Shows what I know.” 

Concerned, John raised an eyebrow at her. “Had a few drinks?” 

She pinched her fingers together, then smirked. “You could say that… I guess that depends on how you want to define a few, though.”

John sighed- Jane had a high tolerance for alcohol, just as he did, but when she stepped over the line between drunkenness and sobriety, it wasn’t pretty. Guiding his sister inside the room, he ushered her to the bed and sat down next to her. “Do I need to be worried?”

Before she could say another word, John felt his stomach drop to his knees as Jane’s eyes filled with tears. _Fuck, this isn’t good- Jane doesn’t do this,_ he thought, closing the door and gripping her by the arms. “What’s wrong?” 

“Everything,” she said, letting the tears spill down her cheeks. “They… they think I’m crazy, Johnny. I’m… I’m about to be kicked out of the only thing I was ever good at because I’m doing what’s right, and I’m dragging my family into it- it’s… _all this_ … is my fault.”

“Hey,” John replied, wiping her eyes, “you’re not dragging anyone into anything, Jane Brain- you gave everyone a choice… and no one chose to leave. Hell, even Pressly thought it was-” he made air quotes with his fingers, trying to get her to smile, “-‘exhilarating’. So don’t think like that, ok? We’re here because we want to be… and because we believe in you.” 

“Why?” Jane asked, looking up at him, looking more lost than he’d ever seen her. “I’m not a leader like Anderson- no one ever believes me… no one trusts me,” she murmured, staring down at her knees, “not even you.” 

Her words made him feel like she’d punched him in the gut, and he wheezed. “Jane,” he said hoarsely, gripping her hands and trying to get his bearings, “if there is one thing in this world you can always count on it’s me… and you _know_ that.”

“I know you love me,” she mumbled, letting her tears fall into her lap. “But… sometimes I just can’t shake the feeling that when I need you, the only one who should always have my back, you won’t be there for me.” Jane sighed, tracing her fingers over the blanket. “And every time I try to convince myself that’s not true, I think about how you chose Ash over me… and if you can do that, then anyone could… anyone _would_ ,” she said softly. “I know that it's been forever ago and it shouldn’t hurt so much… but it does.” 

John just stared at her, feeling like his heart was shattering- he'd always known that he’d hurt her, but he’d always assumed that like with everything else, she’d processed it on her own. _That’s your fault,_ John thought, inwardly kicking himself. _She never knew how you felt… because you never told her_. “Jane,” he said, resting his hand on hers, “you have to know-”

Jane cut him off, sighing as she tried to move away. “You know what- this was stupid,” she said flatly, trying to untangle herself from him. “I’m gonna let you get back to what you were doing.” 

“Like hell you are,” John shot back, wrapping her in a crushing hug. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was for her comfort or his, but he was grateful regardless when he felt her arms wrap around his back. “You are my sister,” he whispered, clutching her tightly, “and no matter what, I’m always going to be there for you. I love you, Jane Brain, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to make mistakes- I’m human too.”

“But I’d never turn my back on you,” Jane whispered, hugging him tightly. He could feel the dampness of her tears staining his shirt, but he didn’t care. “The Alliance… it was the only thing I’ve ever been good at! All I wanted was to do what was right, and it's costing me everything!” She squeezed him tighter, burying her face into his chest. “I don’t know if I can do this on my own anymore.” 

“You were never on your own,” John insisted. “I’m here for you… Garrus is here for you… everyone on this ship is here, ready to go with you at a moment’s notice, Janey.” He sighed, running his hands through her hair as she cried, listening as the room echoed with loud, hiccuping sobs. He heard the door open and glanced up at Sol, who looked at Jane with concern. She started to say something but John just shook his head- his wife got the point immediately, scooping up the kitten and quietly leaving the room. “I’m so sorry,” John said, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I was being stupid back then… and I never meant to make you feel that way.” 

“It’s not a big deal,” she muttered, her voice muffled by his shirt. “I… I don’t know why I’m making such a fuss out of it.” 

He paused for a second, then groaned- _Uncle David went to bat for her without question_ , he thought, grimacing at the realization. _He gave up everything for Janey… because he believed in her._ “Because it feels like no one ever believes you,” he replied as he rubbed her back. “I didn’t believe you, Nana didn’t believe you, now the council…” John sighed, shaking his head. “God, I never meant to hurt you, Janey- I just… I was selfish,” he admitted, feeling ashamed as he said the words out loud. “I wanted something _normal_ for once, and I just… never stopped to think about how I was making you feel, too.” 

“It’s ok,” she said, pulling away from him and wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “I just had a moment… it won’t happen again.”

“No,” John said firmly, taking her hands in his and finger tracing ‘together’, the way he used to do when they were little. “No matter what, I’m here for you, Janey, so don’t ever feel like you have to hide anything from me, ok? Look,” he said teasingly, “you can tell me the sky is green or that fish have wings- I don’t care how crazy it is, I’m going to believe it... because it’s _you_ ,” he said firmly. “I screwed up once and we lost _way_ too much fucking time… I’m not making that same mistake again.” 

_ _

* * *

Carefully, Sol walked JC down to the engineering room, watching the kitten for any signs of distress- she knew he hated loud noises, but Tali insisted that that cat didn’t mind coming down here. As she approached and saw her friend working intently, Sol let out a soft rumble. “I brought you a visitor,” she said, extending JC to her. “Thought he might help.”

Tali let out a squeal, then reached for the kitten. “He _so_ helps,” she replied, petting him for a moment, then turning to look at Sol. “What brings you two down here?” 

“Nervous, I suppose,” Sol admitted, rubbing her neck- she didn’t want to tell anyone else what she’d seen. “Worried about Janey, thinking about what my family is going to say when they find out we stole the ship, worried about what’s going to happen to Johhny and Gar when we get back, and…” She blew out a deep breath, then hummed softly. “And what’s going to happen out there… when we find Saren.” 

“Oh,” Tali replied, shifting to face her, stroking JC’s head. “That’s a lot, Keelah.” 

“You know me,” Sol said lightly, trying to keep breathing so her biotics wouldn’t flare up, “I don’t do too much halfway- it’s the Vakarian way.”

Judging by the way her friend didn’t move, Tali didn’t buy her act one bit. “I can’t speak for the others,” she said slowly, “but I can say that I talked to spectre Kryik… and got him the new mines.” The quarian put a hand on her shoulder, her voice full of warmth. “They are the most capable people I know,” she said quietly, wrapping her arm around Sol. “They can do this. In fact,” she said, exhaling sharply, “I want to ask if I can go with them.”

Sol stared at Tali, not quite sure she’d heard her friend correctly. “You… want to go _back_ out there?”

Tali nodded. “I do. I see what they’re up against,” she said firmly, “and I want to help. The commander didn’t have to help me, but she did- now it is my turn.” 

Sol looked down glumly, playing with her fingers. “I must be a terrible sister,” she mumbled, reaching over to pet the kitten. “I… I don’t want to do that again,” she whispered, too ashamed to look at her friend. “I just want to help from here, but I feel like I’m abandoning them.” 

Tali just laughed, resting a hand on hers. “That’s still helping,” she insisted, then pointed to the cat. “You would not call JC useless, would you?”

“Spirits, no!” Sol exclaimed, instinctively reaching for JC. “He’s… my friend- he makes me feel less lonely, and he’s the best… well, second best listener I know,” she said, letting out a soft trill. “I wouldn’t trade him for anything.” 

Tali just nodded. “He helps in his own way… as do you.” She shifted a little, then leaned her head on Sol’s arm. “Just because I want to help in a different way doesn’t negate the strength of yours, Sol.”

“I suppose,” Sol replied, then sighed. “I just feel like I’m letting Janey down… like I should be doing more.” 

“You do what you’re comfortable with,” Tali insisted, squeezing Sol’s hand. “If you do that, then I can assure you that it will be more than enough.” 

_ _

* * *

Garrus sighed as he looked at his terminal, knowing he needed to send his mother a message. 

_Mom deserves to know that we’re_ _all_ _about to do something massively stupid,_ he thought, his fingers hovering over the keys. _That being said… do I really want to be the one to tell her?_

Lost in thought, Garrus barely noticed when John walked into his room, carrying a sleeping Jane. “That’s new,” he said quietly, gesturing toward the bed where John laid his sister down. “What happened?” 

“Combination of things, all fueled by alcohol,” John said quietly, getting up to stand next to the turian. “Long story short, apparently, I’m a shitty brother.” 

Garrus sighed, then covered up his mate, placing his head to hers. When she shifted but didn’t wake, he turned to John. “Walk with me,” he said quietly. “Let’s let her get some sleep.”

As he walked with the man and headed for the observation deck, he heard a familiar chirp. “How’s Janey?” Sol asked quietly. “Do I need to check on her?” 

“No,” Garrus said, wondering just what had happened. “She’ll be fine.” He looked over at his sister, then flicked his mandibles at her. “You can get some rest- tomorrow is going to be interesting, that’s for sure.” 

Sol looked at John for a moment, then turned to Garrus, letting her sub-vocals say what she wouldn’t voice aloud. _Your mate is in distress._

Garrus just nodded, then glanced at John as they walked toward the elevator, Sol following behind them. _And so is yours._

Her eyes went wide and she walked over to John, resting a hand on his arm. _What can I do to help him?_

He laughed, getting into the elevator and punching the button for the observation deck. Suddenly, John punched him in the arm, and he snapped his head up to look at the man. “Is there a reason you just punched me, Shepard?” 

John just stared at him. “Because you and Tiny are purring back and forth, which means you’re talking… and _I_ can’t understand it, which means it’s probably about me.” He shot a look at Sol, who stared at the floor. _“See!”_

“Just worried about Jane… didn’t need everyone else knowing that, though,” Garrus said quietly. “The crew is on edge as it is.” 

His partner looked mildly placated. “I suppose,” he said as they stepped out into the observation area. “Look, Jane’s fine… she's just stressed.”

“Last I checked, drinking like a krogan is your department,” Garrus said simply, walking toward the window. “So, what happened to put Jane in such a state?” 

“Wondering if I’m gonna turn on her again,” John replied, pressing his face to the glass. “She never expected anyone to do what Anderson did for her...even though I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

“But you can’t do things like that anymore,” Garrus said pointedly. “You have your own mate, Shepard- I can take care of her.” 

“That’s still my sister,” he said sadly. “I fucked up back then...and I don’t think she’s ever forgiven me for it."

“She has,” Sol interjected, walking up and putting an arm around John. “If she didn’t… I don’t think she would’ve let you see her like that.” His sister let out a soothing rumble, then rubbed John's arm. “Just prove that you’re here for her now.”

“You can rest easy, Shepard,” Garrus said, standing next to him and resting his hand on his partner’s shoulder, watching the stars drift by. “I’ve always got her six… and I don’t plan on going anywhere.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: the next chapter is just all Ash and Nih smut/resolution... which is why they don't get a spotlight here. If you choose to skip 73, you will be able to pick up with 74 with no problems. Just an FYI.


	73. The right reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Nih discuss what happened on the Citadel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning- this is nothing but Ash/Nih smut/smuff. If you want to skip this and pick up with 74, you can- you won't miss much.

_ _

* * *

Nihlus found that settling back into a persona of indifference was a lot harder than he thought it would be. Even though he tried to fight it, seeing Ash’s face as she came on the Normandy hurt more than it had a right to. _If I could be mad at her this would be easier,_ he thought as he moved past her, ignoring her stunned expression and the desire to wrap her in his arms as he ran off to the cargo bay to talk with Tali. 

However, as he half-listened to the quarian's explanation about the new mines, he realized that being mad at himself was even worse. _What if what she said was true? What if she’s just been trying to keep you from hurting her this entire time?_ It was like there was a war raging inside his head- on the one hand, Nihlus wanted to run to her, and on the other hand, he wanted to hide away in shame every time he looked into her eyes. _You don’t deserve her,_ the voice in his head said. _You’ve skirted the rules one time too many, Kryik… when it counts, you messed up._

As he looked longingly at Jane and Ash having drinks in the mess hall, he let out a sad rumble as he walked into his room, doing his best to quietly sort out his thoughts. Stripping out of his clothes, Nihlus laid down in his bed and hoped for sleep to claim him soon- he didn't want to deal with this day anymore. 

Just as he started to close his eyes, he heard the door open- instantly, he let out a groan. In all the commotion, he’d forgotten he’d allowed Ash unfettered access to his quarters. “You don’t have to be here,” he muttered, rolling over to face the wall.

To his surprise, he heard the sounds of zippers and the rustling of fabric, then felt the bed dip slightly as she slid into the bed with him. “I know I don’t have to be here,” Ash said quietly, running her hand over his exposed side. “But I wanted to.”

He sighed. “Ash… I shouldn’t have pressured you into this. I shouldn’t have put you in the position where you might not have felt like you had a choice-”

“Nihlus,” Ash said firmly, resting her head on his shoulder. When he didn’t respond, she lightly nipped his neck, causing him to let out a soft growl. “Nihlus, look at me.” 

Reluctantly, he rolled over, staring into her deep brown eyes. The earnestness in her expression made him lower his gaze- instantly, she put a hand to his face and tilted it until he was looking at her. “This is a bad start to a marriage, Nih,” Ash said, pressing her lips to his. “Unless… that’s not what you want anymore.”

“I want that more than anything,” he admitted, letting his head rest against hers and closing his eyes. “I just… I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this, Ash- I should have been open with you from the start.”

“You were better than open,” Ash said, running her hand along the back of his neck. “You were looking out for me, Nih. You took care of me when I wasn’t able to do it for myself… and I’m always going to be amazed and grateful that you saw past the bitch I was determined to be.” She pressed her lips to his and laughed, the sound musical in the quiet room. “I still want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Ash said, moving closer to him. “That is… if you forgive me.” 

Nihlus snapped open his eyes, not believing what he was hearing. “Why would I need to forgive you?”

Ash sighed, holding him a little tighter. “I said some nasty things in Udina’s office,” she said, her tone tinged with disgust. “You have to know I didn’t mean any of it… and I’m sorry you had to hear it.” 

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he said firmly. “I should be the one apologizing to you-”

“Nih, shut up,” Ash replied, laughing as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “It was a misunderstanding- it happens.” She nuzzled his head, sliding one of her hands down to his side as she leaned over to whisper in his ear. “I want this with you… for the rest of my life, Nih.”

Nihlus smiled, feeling more at peace now than he’d felt all day. “You have me,” he rumbled, inhaling the floral scent of her shampoo. “Forever.” 

“Then…” Ash blew out a deep breath and closed her eyes, tightening her grip around his neck. “Let’s do this, Nih.” He let out a surprised hum and she smiled, pressing her lips to his. “We’ve waited long enough- I think it’s time we make this official.” 

NIhlus felt his eyes go wide. “Ash,” he stammered, not believing what he heard, “you don’t have to do this.” 

“Didn’t we just talk about the fact that I’m never going to do anything I don’t want to?” Ash smiled, tracing her finger along the markings on his face. “I think we’re going to have to work on your listening skills, Nih.” 

Despite his distress, he couldn’t help but let out an amused rumble, sliding his hand under her shirt and resting his hand on her side. “I listen just fine,” he murmured, placing a tentative kiss on the side of her neck. “I’m just trying to be considerate.”

“What if I don’t want considerate?” Ash said, her voice low and thick, sending a bolt of heat straight to his core as she trailed her finger down his chest. “What if I have had an extremely tense day and I need… to ‘blow off steam’ with my mate?” 

He let out a hiss as her finger crept all the way down to his seam, gently coaxing it apart and trying to keep his head about him as his plates began to shift. “Don’t tease me, Ash.” 

“Who’s trying to tease you?” Ash said coyly, shifting so she could throw her leg over him. “I would never-” she pressed against his plates, rolling her hips against his seam- the friction from the scrap of fabric between her legs rubbing against him made him let out a moan, “-do anything-” Ash leaned down, pressing her lips to his neck and tentatively biting down, “- to tease you.” 

“Ash.” There was nothing else he could say- all he could do was close his eyes and grip her hips, feeling the smoothness of her skin beneath his fingers, trying not to dig his talons into her. Nihlus could feel her smiling against his skin as she ran her tongue lightly over his throat, making him hum with arousal. “Ash, I need you to be absolutely sure about this-”

She nipped him even harder, the sensation of her flat teeth connecting with his skin making his plates shift completely open, pressing his member against the rapidly pooling wetness between her legs. “Nihlus,” she moaned, rolling her hips over him, “now you're teasing me.” 

Nihlus laughed, rolling his hips against her and enjoying the sensation of her pressing against him. “If we do this, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stop,” he murmured, lightly pressing his lips to the junction between her neck and collarbone, tracing his tongue over her heated skin. “I’m a mess over you, and I want you as my bond-mate, Ash- you being this enticing isn’t helping me restrain myself.” 

“And why would I want you to do that?” Ash purred, snaking her hand down toward his shaft. With a devious smile, she wrapped her hand around him, slowly sliding it up and down. “I believe I asked you to do this the other day.” He threw his head back, letting out a soft trill- she laughed. “All those months ago, I would have never thought I’d be jerking off the great Nihlus Kryik and wondering if he’s gonna marry me.”

“Oh, there is _no_ wondering,” he said, shifting so he could palm the flesh of her ass, “you’re my mate, Ashley Williams- there isn’t a single doubt in my mind about that.” Nihlus slid off her shirt, humming with approval at the uninterrupted smoothness of her skin. “Spirits, I love you.” 

“Then what are you waiting for,” Ash asked, leaning forward and letting the stiff peaks of her nipples brush against his chest. “I’m right here, Nih… and I love you too.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he admitted, running his finger over her shoulder. To prove his point, he leaned down and bit her, hard- she gasped, the heat and wetness soaking the fabric. “It’s harder than that,” he murmured, running his tongue over the inflamed area. “If you still want this, we can wait… maybe find you a painkiller first-”

“I don’t want to wait,” Ash said, sliding her hands down his side and making him close his eyes. “I should’ve done this earlier, Nih… you should’ve never had a reason to doubt me, and I’m sorry I gave you one.”

At that, his head shot up and he growled. “You will _not_ blame yourself for this,” Nihlus said firmly, tilting her chin so she could look him in the eye. “And if this is the reason you want to take my mark, then I’m going to have to say no, Ash- you never need to prove anything to me.” 

Ash sighed, wrapping her hands around his cowl and pressing her head to his. “It’s not that,” she said quietly, tracing her fingers along the back of his neck. "You have no idea how much I want to do this with you.”  
  
Unable to resist, Nihlus smiled, tracing his talons down her back. “You’re telling me that your deepest desire is for me to bury my teeth into your skin so that the world knows that you’ve taken part in an ancient turian mating ritual?” She huffed and he laughed, hooking his fingers into the sides of her underwear. “I never would’ve guessed you had such interesting desires, Ash.”

Ash started to pout, but her breath hitching in her throat as he ran his tongue over her nipple. “Nihlus,” she gasped, threading her fingers in his fringe as he grasped the offending fabric in his hands, “don’t you _dare_ rip my underwear.”  
  
“I told you about wearing them around me,” Nihlus murmured, ripping them free and groaning at the feeling of her warm skin against his, the moisture dripping against his shaft. He ached to be inside her, but he was going to wait until he was absolutely sure. “But if you insist, I’ll buy you some more… I like the one you wore the other day,” he mused, letting his teeth lightly graze the side of her breast and rumbling with approval as she inhaled sharply. “You should wear more of those.”  
  
“Maybe I’ll model some for you,” she whispered, raising her hips and trying to line him up with her entrance. “I might even be convinced to put on a private show when we get home.” Ash paused for a second, then laughed. “I don’t even know where home is,” she said with a laugh. “We never talked about that kind of thing.” 

“I’ll go wherever you want me,” Nihlus murmured, arching her back so he could trace his fingers down her skin, adding pressure to her clit and making her shiver. “But right now, I just want to be inside you.” 

“I want that too,” she said. Ash tried to settle herself on top of him, but Nihlus held her firm, lightly slapping her ass with his hand. “I want you, Nih.”  
  
“Then cum for me,” he replied, his eyes filled with lust. “I want to see you come apart for me, Ash… right here.” Nihlus smiled, stroking her faster and harder, slipping a finger inside her and making her gasp as he hooked it inside of her. He always loved touching her in this way, knowing that it was only he who got to feel this special part of her and made her shatter with pleasure. “I want to be the only one who gets the privilege of making you feel this way.” 

“Then… do it,” she panted, biting her lip as he picked up the pace. “Mark me, Nih.” 

“Not yet,” he purred, pressing his lips to hers and delighting in the taste of her tongue. “I’m still waiting on my show.” 

Ash pouted, the expression making him want to take her right then and there. “You…are… a…” 

She didn’t get to finish the sentence- Nihlus pressed his mouth to her throat, nipping her lightly as he added another finger, the additional pressure and dual sensations making her climax all over him. “That’s it,” he said, letting her ride his hand until her orgasm subsided, “that’s what I wanted to see.”  
  
Without another word, he moved her hips so he was poised at her entrance, twitching with anticipation. “Ready for me?” 

Ash nodded, her body flushed and her lips slightly parted as she dug her nails into his shoulder. “Always.” 

He started to say something else, but Ash wasn’t interested in talking- without another word, she sank onto him, making him gasp and throw his head back. Inch by inch she took him in, the warmth molding to his skin as she slid up and down, making him trill with ecstasy. “I love you,” he murmured, gripping her hips and rocking her against him, letting her skin rub against his plates, “I’m yours,” he panted, leaning forward. Unable to stand being away from her anymore, he sat up, gripping her ass and setting her flush against him. “Forever and always, Ash.” 

“And I’m yours,” she breathed, closing her eyes as he pressed into her. “You’ve given me everything, Nih… I love you.” 

By now, Nihlus could barely breathe- there was so much running through his head that he thought if he said another word, he would explode. All he could do was focus on the feeling of their bodies connecting and fighting through the feeling of loss as he raised her hips and the absolute pleasure running through his body as he pulled her against his plates. When he was inside her, there was nothing else on his mind except her- she was on his skin, on his tongue, in his nostrils…she was everywhere, begging to be his in every single way. As Ash ran her hands over him and dug her nails in his waist, she arched her head, her tan skin glistening in the dim light of the room. _Mine_ , he thought as he thrust inside her, the thought sending waves of intense arousal shooting through him. _She’s mine and I have to have her._

Every stroke only served to stoke this fire, and each moan she let out only made the voice in his head louder and louder. _Mine_ , he thought as his climax ripped through his body, erupting in a way he’d never felt before. He thought he heard a scream, but the only thing that mattered was giving himself to her fully, feeling her body milking every drop out of him as he claimed the woman in his arms. _Mine,_ he thought, his teeth buried into her skin. _My mate, my love…_

As his orgasm subsided, he became aware again and jolted, immediately looking up to see Ash shaking in his arms. “ _Spirits_ ,” he hissed, trying to pull away from her. “I didn’t-” 

“No,” she whispered, pressing a hand in his chest, “I need… just….just stay,” she gasped, her body vibrating against him. “I’ve never felt anything like that before.”  
  
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said quickly, staring at her shoulder. For a moment, he thought it was a dream, but there it was, his mark standing out on her skin with the metallic taste of her blood in his mouth. “I need to get you some medi-gel, Ash,” he said quietly. “You’re in shock.” 

“I’m not,” she insisted, gripping him tight. “I just… I don’t want you to go,” she whispered, burying her face into his neck. “Don’t leave me, Nih…just… stay here for a minute, ok?” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said quietly, brushing her hair away from her face. “But I need to take care of you, ok?” When she nodded, Nihlus slowly made his way to the edge of the bed, Ash still clinging to his neck with a grip so tight that he was worried about her fingers. Fumbling in the nightstand, he pulled out the tube of medi-gel, thankful to have had the foresight to keep some in here. _Helps to keep this on standby when your mate is soft and fragile_ , he thought as he carefully opened the tube, gently massaging the ointment over the mark.

The moment she felt the cream healing the wound, her face snapped to his. “What are you doing?” Ash cried, trying to shove his hands away from her shoulder. “Don’t do that- you’re going to take it away!” 

“Ash, calm down,” Nihlus said, pressing his head to hers and letting out a soothing rumble. “I won’t take it away, I promise.” He stroked Ash’s hair for a minute, letting his subvocals wash over her and telling her just how much he loved her. “You can see for yourself- it’s just there to help, see?” 

Tentatively, she reached a hand to her shoulder, breathing a sigh of relief when she felt the raised and tender skin. “Okay,” she murmured, letting herself relax against him. “It’s still there.”  
  
“I wouldn’t make you go through that again,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her mark. “I’m sorry, Ash- if I could make it so it didn’t hurt, I would.” 

“It’s not that,” she said shakily, burying her head in his shoulder again. “I… I was scared you wanted to take it back- I thought… I thought you didn’t want it there anymore.”

Nihlus sighed with relief, clutching her tight and pressing her against his plates- she might be sore in the morning, but he’d deal with that then. “There is nothing in this universe that could make me want to take that back,” Nihlus said firmly, tilting her face to look her in the eye. “In fact, the only thing that could make me happier is wearing your mark. I’m your mate, just as you’re mine, Ash- I never want there to be any doubt about that.” 

Ash breathed her own sigh of relief, her body relaxing against him. “Forever,” she murmured, tracing a finger over the side of his throat. Judging by the softness of her tone, it was more for herself than him. “You mean it, Nih? This… us… for the rest of our lives?”

He nodded, feeling more content and settled than he ever thought possible. “Forever.”


	74. Freefall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team heads to Ilos and works to track down Saren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! We only have about 4 to 5 chapters left in this- can you believe it!

_ _

* * *

Jane stumbled out of her room, her attention solely focused on the cup of coffee in her hands. _That was a night I don’t want to repeat,_ she thought, waiting on the aspirin to kick and alleviate her headache. _Never a good idea to get shitfaced the night before a mission… but knowing my luck, it won't be the last time it happens, either._

As she approached, Jane could hear the sounds of arguing coming from the cockpit and groaned. It’s too early, she murmured, trying to put on her best ‘Commander Shepard’ face and hoping that whatever problem they were fighting about wasn’t going to involve more larceny. “So,” she said brightly, causing Joker, Ash, and John to all jump, “what seems to be the issue?”

“The _issue_ ,” Ash said, shifting and failing to cover the red outline of her new bond-mark, “is that this moron is going to get us spotted! Look at all the ships out there- it’s been a goddamn geth party since we passed through the fuckin relay!”

“And as I _told_ BB,” Joker shot back, glaring at the soldier, “unless they’re pressing their damn noses to the window, _no one_ is going to see us!” He rolled his eyes, then looked at John, his expression clearly saying ‘why the fuck is this woman in here right now?’ and ‘get rid of her’. “It’s called stealth mode, in case you were wondering.”

“And I don’t care _what_ you say,” Ash shot back. “You’re an idiot if you don’t take this seriously!”

“Hey,” the pilot said, his voice taking on a tone which immediately warned Jane that he was about to cause a problem, “how about you go back to your spiky little boy toy and let him gnaw on you some more while he gives you an actual education? Might make it easier for the rest of us to do our jobs.”

“Joker, don’t make me actually have to defend Ash this early in the morning,” Jane said dryly, ignoring the scathing looks from both the pilot and the soldier. “I haven’t even finished my coffee yet.” Then she turned to John, who was trying not to laugh- after her little outburst last night, she hoped they were ok. “What’s your take?” 

John walked over, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and tapping out a rhythm with his finger. “I get what Ash is saying- it’s why I raced in here in the first place.” Ash turned to Joker with a smug little smile, but John wasn’t done. “But,” he said pointedly, “if there’s anyone I trust to know what he’s doing, it’s this guy. If he says we’re good, then I believe him.”

“Commander,” Pressly’s voice interrupted, causing all of them to shift, “I’m picking up some strange readings from the planet’s surface.”   
  
“Must be Saren,” Jane muttered, with all the chaos going on, her headache had instantly moved to the back of her mind. “Can you get us in there so we can surprise the bastard?” 

“The nearest landing zone is two clicks away,” the navigator replied. “It’s too far for us to reach it in time.”   
  
Jane thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, we do have a tank- can we just drop the Mako on his ass?” 

Joker paused, stroking his shaggy beard. “That… could work.” 

“Or you could all die!” Pressly shot back. “The Mako needs a hundred meters to make a drop like that! I’m sorry, commander, but we just can’t-”

“I can do it,” Joker said firmly, his mouth set in a firm line. “Janey, let me at it… I can get you there.” 

Jane started to protest, but the look of determination on the pilot’s face gave her pause. “John’s right,” she said. “This guy is the best damn pilot I know- if he says he can do it, we’re doing it.” When Joker nodded, Jane got a wide grin on her face. “Get everyone who’s planning on going down there in the Mako.. sounds like we’re about to go for one helluva ride.”  
  
“Garrus is gonna have a fucking fit,” John muttered as he raced out the cockpit to suit up. “I wonder how many shades of blue he’s gonna turn when he hears about this shit.”

_ _

* * *

For once, Garrus was glad John was driving the Mako- the careening freefall to the ground made him feel like his stomach was going to leap out of his throat, and the sounds of screeching tires as the man floored the engine was enough to make him grind his teeth together. That being said, he had to agree with his partner- _for a suicide drop like this, you need a suicidal driver,_ he’d said. _Proper ain’t gonna cut it._

And as the doors to the bay closed just as he approached, Garrus could feel the man’s irritation rolling off him in waves. _So close_ , he thought. _So damn close_. 

Knowing it wasn’t John’s fault, Jane hopped out of the Mako, peering at the doors. “There’s no controls on this side- I can’t get in.” She looked around at the others, her foot tapping impatiently as she bit her lip. “Any ideas?” 

Nihlus walked up to the door, examining it closely. “We can’t blast through this,” he said darkly. “I don’t even think the Mako could take this out- this was designed to keep everyone… and everything out.”

“Well, Saren got in there,” John shot back, obviously still irritated about missing the opening. “I know the bastard is powerful but he’s not a goddamn wizard- he found a way to open this door.” 

“Then we should do the same,” Tali replied, looking over at Liara and Ash- Jenkins had wanted to come, but Chakwas had firmly vetoed the idea. She tried to get Ash to stay as well, but the woman was hearing none of it- in the end, Jenkins agreed to stay and Tali had taken his place. “We should go investigate.”

“And that statement just proves that no one here has seen an old horror vid,” Jane muttered under her breath. When John gave her a light shove, she just grinned. “As much as I hate to say it, one team should stay here with the Mako- the other should head out and look for the controls.”

Garrus looked at his mate and sighed. “And because it’s the most dangerous, I can assume I know what you’re going to choose… am I right?”

Jane just smirked as she looked at him, her grey eyes dancing with excitement. This was different from meetings and having to deal with political posturing and maneuvering- no, this was battle, and his mate was in her element right now. “We don’t know what kind of tech we’re going to find out here, but I have the best shot at opening it if Saren did. And anything I can’t handle, I’m pretty sure you can- we’re just the most logical choice to go.” 

“You and ‘logical’ are two words I’m not usually keen to string together,” he said, earning an actual laugh from John. “But you’re right- we need to find out how to get these doors open, and fast.” 

“We’ll cover you from up here,” Nihlus said firmly, earning a nod from Wrex. “You take the stairs, we’ll search on this level- maybe we'll turn something up.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jane said, looking over her team as they prepared their weapons. “Now let’s go and get these fucking doors open.”

_ _

* * *

“It’s too quiet, guys- I don’t like it,” Ash muttered, glancing nervously around the landscape. “I mean, I get why we’re here, but I _hate_ sitting around with my thumb up my ass.” 

“Me neither,” Tali replied, reloading her shotgun. “It makes me feel like we’re too late… and I don’t want to think like that.” 

“Then don’t,” Nihlus said simply, turning to look at the girl. Even though he couldn't see her face, he could tell she was nervous. However, he also knew they couldn’t afford the nerves out here- there was too much at stake. “Use the time to get ready for your next battle- you’ll never know when you’ll get the chance to take another break.”

“That’s the damn truth,” Ash muttered, leaning against the Mako. “Doesn’t make me any less jumpy, though.”

Nihlus shook his head, then moved to stand next to Ash. Making sure his mic was off, he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Do I need to show you how to relax, Ash?” 

The soldier let out a barking laugh, then clapped her hands to her mouth as Tali and Liara turned to look at her. “Nih,” she hissed, turning off her mic and glaring at him, the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile, “you’re on duty, damn it!” 

He gave her a casual flick of his mandibles, rumbling with amusement as he stood in front of her. “I believe you, my squadmate, were feeling ill-at-ease about the mission- as your commanding officer, it’s my duty to address your concerns and offer solutions, is it not?”

“Working with you is going to suck, isn’t it?” Ash replied, the sound of her laughter putting him at ease. “How the hell do Jane and Garrus do it?” 

Nihlus shrugged, glancing out at the quiet landscape and crossing his arms- Ash kicked him in the butt, moving him slightly forward. “You only have to deal with me for a little longer,” he said with a smile.”Once we defeat Saren, you’ll be free to go back to your normal, mate-free postings.”

“Oh,” she said quietly, causing him to turn around. “I… I didn’t think about that.” Ash stared at him, and for a split-second, Nihlus could see two of her- the strong and confident soldier and the gorgeous woman he’d had on his arm at the Citadel. “But... what if I don’t want to go back to what used to be normal?”

He turned to her, an amused look on his face. “You like me giving you orders?”

Ash got a devious little grin on her face that made Nihlus want to drag her off and bury himself inside her. “Depends on the kind of orders you’re giving.”

Nihlus actually did laugh at that, running his hand over the area where his new bond-mark was. “Keep that up, and I might just think you’re being insubordinate, Ash.”

“Maybe I am,” Ash murmured, letting her hand slide across his as she started to walk away, her hips swaying with confidence. “Just shows I need to be underneath you more.” 

_This little…_ “Go check on Liara and Tali,” he said, flicking his mandibles at Ash and struggling not to pull her to him. “Make sure they’re all right- we need to be ready to go as soon as Jane calls us.” 

Even though she was teasing and playing with him a moment ago, she immediately went back into soldier mode- Ash straightened up and nodded, heading over to the two women. _She’s a good soldier,_ he thought as she checked in on the others. _Ash is capable of so much more._ Nihlus hummed to himself as he watched his mate talk to the quarian, then frowned at the sound of static in his ear. “B-Team,” Jane called out, “are you there?” 

“We’re here,” he replied, grateful for the contact. “What’s your status?”

“All here and accounted for,” Jane replied. “I think we found the security console- whenever you’re ready, I’m going to need you to let me know if this works.”

“Understood,” he replied, then turned his attention to his squad. “Get back to the Mako!” Nihlus yelled, watching as the women raced over. When his team was inside and secure, he returned his focus to the comms. “Ok, Jane,” he said, looking over at Ash and nodding, “we’re ready whenever you are.” 

_ _

* * *

Rationally, John knew his sister had to mess with the crazy device in the back of the room. He also knew that it was probably the only way to get any further into this goddamn cavern and find Saren. That being said, he also was eerily reminded of one of the old vids Janey had made him sit through, and it was unnerving the ever-loving _shit_ out of him. “Um,” he said cautiously, standing next to his sister, “doesn’t this whole thing suspiciously remind you of the vid where the crazy racist guy opened the case and his face melted off?” He gestured around to the crumbling walls, then frowned. “I mean, seriously- we got the underground ruins, the crazy traps to get in here…”

Jane shot him a withering look as she approached the device. “And you choose to bring this up _now_?” 

“Hey, just saying,” John said, taking a step back and holding up his hands. “Even you gotta admit that you don’t have the best luck when it comes to ancient tech, Jane Brain.”

She glared at him for a second, then snatched his wrist. “Fine,” Jane huffed, dragging him up to the console with her. “Then we do it together.” 

John looked horrified and tried to snatch his arm back. “How the fuck do you figure that! Hell, I don’t want _my_ face melting off- someone has to survive this shit!” 

“Too bad,” his sister replied, throwing the switch and causing a grinding noise and a bright red light to flood the chamber. _I’m gonna die,_ John thought, waiting for the searing heat he could swear was coming. _She’s just killed us all._

Suddenly, the light receded, leaving behind a very shaky and distorted hologram. There was a terrible screeching noise and John covered his ears, looking over at Garrus and Wrex- they had a similar reaction. Jane, however, was just staring at the hologram with casual confusion.

“Janey, what the hell?” John asked, turning to his sister. “This isn’t bothering you?” 

She turned to him, her expression full of concern. “Bothering me? It’s confusing, yeah, but it-” Jane looked at her squadmates and took in the looks on their faces. “Wait a second,” she said slowly, “what do you hear?” 

“Noise,” Wrex replied, looking as if he wanted to smash the entire console. “It’s just a bunch of noise.” 

Garrus frowned, then his eyes widened. “It’s the cipher,” he said, staring at Jane. “It must’ve made it so you can understand whatever this is- it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“The door is open,” Nihlus said through the comms. “Head back up, Jane.” 

“He’s right,” Jane said, nodding with understanding as she pointed to what looked like another elevator. “It’s a warning message...it was talking about the reapers coming.” 

“Must’ve been prothean then,” Garrus mused, looking her over as they rode up. “Too little too late, unfortunately.” 

They rode up in silence, the turian’s statement settling around them like a blanket. _We aren’t too late_ , John thought, looking around the now-quiet landscape. _We didn’t give up all this to have it be for nothing… we’re going to stop this._

As they piled into the Mako, John took in the faces of his squadmates and tried to smile. “So,” he said brightly, looking at everyone and trying to be calm, “who votes we take the vehicle into the creepy underground bunker?” 

But, just as he thought, no one responded- instead, Nihlus just started to drive.

_ _

* * *

“Makes no sense,” Wrex rumbled as they rolled along the quiet path. “He did all this shit to stop us before- why hasn’t Saren tried to ambush us yet?” 

“Maybe he recognized how awesome we are and decided to leave us alone?” John asked lightly, quieting down when Wrex shot him a dirty look. “Look, I’m not complaining- have we really gotten to the point when we’re concerned that people _aren’t_ shooting at us?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Garrus replied. He’d felt similarly to Wrex- every cell in his body was screaming ‘trap’. “Wrex is right- this corridor is too narrow, and it’s a straight line. We’re walking into a natural ambush site.” 

“I’m slightly concerned about the mini-coffins on the walls,” Jane said quietly, resting her hand on his leg. “Because that’s not ominous at all.”

“They seem to be stasis pods,” Liara remarked, looking around with interest. “Most likely intended for prothean survival.”

“Of course,” Jane murmured, her voice so low Garrus could barely hear her. “Fat lot of good it did them, though.”

Garrus glanced over at his mate and gave a soothing rumble, hoping to comfort her. “We’re going to stop him,” he said firmly, squeezing her hand. “They didn’t have a Brainy Janey like we do.”

She smiled, even though it was shaky. “Or a pair of armor cats,” she replied, trying to keep her voice light. “It’s all about the company you keep, right?”

“Just this once, I’ll let that slide,” Garrus replied, finally getting a real laugh out of her. “But, when we beat Saren, I reserve the right to withhold coffee if you ever say that phrase again.” 

“Finally!” Wrex exclaimed, pointing to a smattering of geth appearing in front of them as they moved down the ramp. Chuffing with glee, he raced for the gun. “Something to shoot again!” 

“I’m glad we could brighten your day,” Nihlus said dryly, earning a light shove from Ash and a chuckle from Jane. “By all means, take them down, krogan- we have to get down that ramp.” 

“Gladly,” Wrex hooted, blasting at the geth and clearing the path. “This is still too light, but I’ll take what I can get!”

Rolling his eyes at the krogan’s enthusiasm, Garrus sighed- Wrex had a point. “He’s right- there’s not nearly as many geth here as there should be.”  
  
“Probably the rear guard, meant to delay us if we got through,” Nihlus replied. “At any rate, there’s a landing up ahead- if Wrex can clear our path, we should be able to proceed further.” 

_“If?”_ Wrex roared, sending pieces of geth flying past the windows. “There is no if!”

“He seems way too happy about this,” John grumbled, staring out the windows as they rolled past the littered forms on the ground, then shivered. “That being said, did anyone else feel weird just now?” 

Ash nodded. “Like someone just walked across your grave, as my grandma used to say.” 

“Makes me glad I never met her,” Jane said quietly, rubbing her arms as they approached a wall that appeared to be made of light. “She sounds like a regular ray of sunshine, Ash.” 

“It’s just an expression,” she replied, staring ahead at the wall. “I think we found the trap, guys- doesn’t look like we’re getting through that. Might want to head back, Nih.” 

Before anyone could say a word, there was a flash, and a similar-looking wall appeared behind them. “Fuck,” Jane muttered, hopping out of the Mako before Garrus could stop her _. This woman,_ he thought, trying to calm his racing heart. _She’s going to be the death of me._

Garrus glanced at John and vaulted out of the vehicle, watching in horror as Jane stared at the wall and picked up a rock from the ground. “Jane, don’t-”

She ignored him and launched it at the wall, nodding as it bounced off the shimmering surface and dropped to the ground. “Forcefield,” she said wearily, looking over at Garrus. “Definitely a trap.”

“But not by Saren,” Nihlus said, emerging from the Mako. “There are no geth here, no krogan, nothing… I agree, it’s definitely a trap of some sort… but by who? We’ve seen nothing else here other than geth the entire time we’ve been here.” 

“Well, since we’re in a horror vid anyway,” John said cautiously, pointing at the wall behind them, “might as well crank this all the way up to peak stupid and get into the creepy elevator.” He frowned, then let a wave of biotic energy creep up his arm before extinguishing it. “I don’t see any other way… do you?”

“Nope,” Jane replied, her lips set in a firm line. “Guess that settles it… looks like we’re heading inside.” 


	75. A somber vigil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and the team get some information about the reapers and John drives the Mako; Joker gets a call he can't ignore

_ _

* * *

“I don’t like this,” Garrus murmured as they rode the elevator down. “While I don’t appreciate Saren and his geth trying to shoot at us, at least when they do I know who’s trying to kill me- the not knowing who’s behind this is torture.”

“Well, there’s another platform,” Jane said carefully, her eyes darting over her squad. “If it’s anything like the last one, I’d say cover your ears- apparently, the noise isn’t pleasant.” 

“Understatement,” John grumbled, walking carefully behind her. Jane knew her brother had absolutely no desire to be in this underground space, but he was keeping as cool about it as possible. _It’s too enclosed,_ she thought. _Doesn’t matter how big it is- if there’s not a clear way out, he’s not interested._ “You owe me,” he whispered in her ear, taking her hand. Without a word, Jane squeezed it back, offering her brother a silent bit of reassurance- John smiled. “We got this, Brainy.” 

“No doubt,” Jane replied, activating the platform and taking a deep breath. “Here goes, guys.”

She stood there for a moment, watching the faces of her friends carefully as the hologram flickered into existence. “Interesting,” the hologram intoned. “Not prothean, but not machine, either.” The light swirled around, unable to settle on a solid shape. “It is of no matter- only one of many accepted possibilities that we had planned for.” It paused for a moment, then resumed its speech, the robotic voice sounding as if it were exhausted. “It is the reason the beacons were sent, after all.” 

“Another damaged VI program,” Liara mused, then frowned at the flickering image. “But we can understand it- I thought you said it was unintelligible!”

Despite her nerves, Jane had to fight back a smile- the woman was no doubt looking forward to hearing the prothean language. “It was,” Jane replied, then turned to the hologram. “Why can my friends understand you now?”

“Because I have been studying your speech,” the VI replied. “Based on their reactions the last time, I thought it best to modify my speech to patterns they could understand.” The program paused, almost as if it was looking around the room. “I do not sense the taint of indoctrination on you… unlike the other that passed through here- perhaps there is still hope.” 

“Saren,” Nihlus growled, stepping forward. “He was here.”  
  
“Indeed he was,” the VI agreed. “He seeks the conduit, as do you. But for now, you are safe, though I don’t believe anywhere will be safe before long.” 

Jane paused, staring at the image- she got the feeling that the VI knew a lot more than it was letting on, and she needed to get out of here. “What are you?”

“My name,” the machine replied, “is Vigil. I contain personality imprints from Ksad Ishan, the chief researcher at the Ilos facility.”

“But why did you stop us,” Jane asked, her curiosity piqued. “Why did a long-dormant VI decide that now was a good time to talk?”

“Because you must understand. If not, you will be doomed to make the same mistakes we did,” Vigil replied. “This cycle has gone on for millions of years- you have a chance to end it.”

Jane swallowed, looking around at her friends- this sounded more ominous than usual. “What do you mean?”

“The Citadel is the heart of your government, just as it was for many other civilizations before yours,” Vigil replied. “But it is actually a trap- it is actually an enormous mass relay, one that links to the dark matter beyond the galaxy’s horizon.”  
  
“Reaper space,” John breathed, looking at Jane with horror. “The Citadel is where the reapers will come through!”

Jane felt like the floor was dropping out from beneath her. “And how the hell did no one notice that the entire fucking Citadel was a gigantic mass relay?” 

“The reapers were careful,” Vigil explained. “It would do them no favors for their secrets to be discovered. So to prevent that, they employed seemingly benign caretakers to handle the basic functions of the station.”

“The keepers,” Garrus said flatly, crossing his arms. “They do everything for the Citadel- with them taking care of it, there’s not really a need for anyone to look too closely into how things work.”

“You are right,” Vigil replied. “Their existence allows species to use the Citadel without being aware of the station’s true nature… until the reapers arrive.”

“But it’s deep space,” Liara said, frowning. “How do the reapers survive out there?”

“I only have the theories of the researchers,” Vigil answered. “It was their hypothesis that the reapers went dormant for long periods to conserve energy, giving new cultures time to grow and flourish. In the dormant state, they can be attacked. However, this would probably be why they hide beyond the edges of the galaxy.”

“Shit,” Jane hissed, “they could launch a surprise attack and wipe out the Citadel and council in one fell swoop!”

“Such was our fate,” Vigil said, his tone almost wistful. “The reapers had killed our leaders and taken control of the mass relays before we realized what was happening. With our communication crippled, we became isolated… and easy prey for the reaper fleets. Over the next few decades, they systematically wiped us out.” 

“I don’t get it,” Ash said, her eyes wide with fear- Nihlus gripped her hand. “At that point, why didn’t you just surrender?”

“Because no offer of surrender was given,” Vigil stated, his tone matter-of-fact. “The reapers have only one known goal- the extinction of all organic life.”

Everyone went quiet at that, letting Vigil’s words and their weight settle over them. _Saren was wrong,_ Jane thought. _There will be no surrender, no servitude. With the reapers, there will only be death… Saren should_ _know_ _this_. “But how?” Jane asked. “How did they manage to wipe out everyone?” 

Vigil paused for a moment, and Jane felt a tingle over her skin, similar to what she’d felt right before the barriers came down- she realized the VI was scanning her. “Information is power,” it said. “The reapers learned everything about us… and used it to facilitate our demise. They enslaved and indoctrinated some of us… then turned their agents loose. The indoctrinated were taken in by other groups, only to betray them to the machines- within a few centuries, every prothean was either enslaved or under reaper control.”

“But…” Liara stammered, looking back and forth between the hologram and Jane, “where did they go after they conquered your people?”

“Back into deep space,” Vigil replied. “Their goal was accomplished. With our galaxy harvested and void of organic life, they retreated through the relay, sealing it behind them. Only the indoctrinated slaves remained- there was nothing left of them but mindless husks destined to starve or rot.”

“I don’t get it,” John said, staring at the hologram. “What’s in it for them? Death, rinse, repeat? Ok, mindless, simple, and catchy slogan, sure, but…” his voice trailed off, then he frowned. “It doesn’t make sense- what do they get out of it?”

“The reapers are alien, unknowable,” Vigil replied. “Perhaps it is as simple as the desire for slaves and resources- most likely, they are driven by motives we organic beings do not have the capacity to understand.”

“I get that,” Jane said slowly, “but you brought us here for a reason, Vigil. We heard what happened to the protheans- how do we stop it from happening again?” 

“The conduit is the key,” Vigil replied. “Our researchers were working on creating a small-scale mass relay, one that could connect directly to the Citadel… the conduit was the result of that research.”

Liara gasped. “So the conduit isn’t a weapon...it’s a back door to the Citadel!”

“That may be true, but I don’t understand,” Nihlus said, letting out a deep rumble. “You said all prothean civilization was destroyed, but we’re here talking to you- how is that possible?” 

“Because we severed all communications,” Vigil answered. “Our facility went dark and the researchers retreated to these archives. To conserve resources, I was to monitor everyone as they went into cryogenic stasis. The plan was to remain that way until the danger passed.”

“The pods,” Tali whispered, looking around the room. “But… what happened to them?”

“Genocide of a species is a long process,” Vigil said, and Jane could swear she heard a note of remorse in the VI’s tone. “After centuries, my energy reserves began to dwindle.” 

“You killed them,” Tali retorted, her tone horrified. “I don’t understand- you were charged to protect them!”

“I made the logical choices in line with contingency plans in my programming,” Vigil responded, sounding defensive. “First I disconnected non-essential personnel, one by one, in order to conserve energy. Finally, only the top scientists remained, though those were in danger of failure by the time the reapers went through the relay.”

John snorted. “I bet the ‘non-essential’ personnel were super happy to hear about those contingency plans… oh, wait…” 

Vigil ignored him. “I saved key personnel… I am the reason there is any hope for you now.” 

“Okay,” Jane said, interrupting what looked to be the start of an argument they didn’t have time for, “you said you saved the scientists- where are they? What happened to them?” 

“They knew it was too late for us, but not for others,” Vigil said, the lines of the hologram wavering. “They sought to find a way to stop the reapers from returning… and they knew the keepers were the key.”  
  
“How so?” Nihlus asked, cocking his head. “I thought the keepers were simply the caretakers of the relay?” 

Vigil paused, then continued. “Before each invasion, the reapers send a signal to the keepers to activate the relay. With work, the scientists found a way to modify this signal… this time when Sovereign sent the signal, the keepers ignored it.” 

“But Saren didn’t ignore it,” Nihlus replied, turning to the others. “He intends to do what the keepers didn’t.”

“Correct,” Vigil said. “And once he’s inside, he can transfer control to Sovereign- if he does, the relay will open… and the cycle of extinction will begin again.” 

“How do we stop this?” Jane asked, her voice numb. _This can’t be happening,_ she thought, trying to keep herself together. “You brought us here, Vigil- there must be something we can do.” 

“There is,” the VI stated. “I have a data file in my console- take it to the master control unit of the Citadel and upload it to the station. It should corrupt the security protocols, giving you control of the station and a chance to defeat Sovereign.”

“I’ve never heard of a master control unit on the Citadel,” Garrus said, looking at John- her brother shook his head. “How do we find this?”

“Follow Saren through the Conduit,” Vigil urged. “He’ll show you the way.”

Jane raced over to grab the file, trying to make sure she breathed. “We gotta go- Saren’s got enough of a head start over us, guys.”

“But… think of the things we could learn from Vigil,” Liara said, glancing at the hologram and then back to Jane. “I don’t think we can come back- his form is already fading.” 

“I know it’s an amazing opportunity,” Jane said, lightly taking her arm and working very hard to not tell the woman that priorities were a real and important thing as she escorted her to the elevator, “but we have to stop Saren, Li.” 

“I… you’re right,” Liara replied, her cheeks turning a bright blue. “I wasn’t thinking clearly- my apologies.”

“None necessary, I’d probably have done the same thing if Vigil was a gigantic ice cream store with free samples,” Jane replied. “We just gotta get a move on.”

“The one you call Saren has not yet reached the conduit,” Vigil said as they headed into the elevator. “Do not despair yet- there is still hope for your world… if you hurry.”

_ _

* * *

Joker was sitting in the cockpit, drumming his hands along the console. The private, Jenkins, had been sitting up in the co-pilot chair with him, no doubt waiting for word from his team. _This is awkward_ , Joker thought, trying to figure out just what, if anything, he should talk to the young man about- _hey, sorry your buddy turned out to be a psycho, how’s the rest of your day going? Eating solid food again after that shot you took?_

Eventually, Jenkins broke the silence for him. “We should’ve heard from them by now,” he complained. “They should’ve radioed in.” 

“We don’t know what’s going on down there,” Joker replied, trying not to let his own nerves show- he was actually just as anxious as the soldier next to him. “Someone would’ve called in if something was really wrong- there’s eight of them down there, and one of them is a krogan.” The pilot tried to give the soldier a lighthearted smile. “Do you know the level of fuckshit it would take to knock BB and Wrex out at the same time? They’re fine.”

“Yeah… I guess,” Jenkins replied, looking nervously at the console. “It’s just… it feels like there’s something wrong.” He sighed, leaning back in the chair. “Probably just nerves.”

“With this crew, it’s probably ESP,” Joker replied, frowning as a light on the console began to blink. _Fuck- now we’ve got an incoming call,_ he thought, stroking his beard. _Well, considering we’re fugitives, I don’t know if we’re supposed to answer this._

Jenkins looked down, noticing the flashing light on the console. “Should we answer that?” 

Joker looked at the man like he was stupid. “And say what? Hey, sorry we stole your multi-million credit vessel, just decided to take it around the galaxy for a spin?” 

“It could be important,” Jenkins said quietly, shifting in his chair. “I mean, no one’s tried to get a hold of us before…”

“And yet I’m somehow not convinced I want to get tried for treason before the commander gets back,” Joker retorted, then frowned at the console. “Maybe we can just ignore them until they go away.”

Jenkins scowled at him, his eyes darting back to the console as it continued to blink. "What are you, three?"

The pilot opened his mouth to give him a scathing retort, but before he could, his omni-tool went off- Joker shook his head as he read the message. _Guess the private is right- doesn't look like we're ignoring this one._

_DAnderson: Answer the call, Joker- it’s important._

Sighing, he answered the call, seeing the serious-looking face of the captain on the screen. “Thank you for picking up,” he said stiffly. “Is Commander Shepard around?” 

Joker shook his head. “Afraid not- they’re chasing after Saren- he was already on Ilos by the time we got here. The teams are planet-side trying to bring him down.” Then Joker paused, feeling a nagging suspicion in his brain. “What’s going on, Captain?”

“The geth are attacking the Citadel,” he said gravely. “They’ve evacuated the Council to the Destiny Ascension, but... “ Anderson swallowed, then looked down. “From the feeds, it looks like a madhouse up there- they’re trying to stop them...” 

“Saren,” Joker hissed, turning to Jenkins. “But that’s impossible- we just saw him here! Janey is chasing him down as we speak!”

“Whatever is happening, it’s not good,” Anderson replied. “We need your help- you’re the only ship that knows what we’re up against… you have to get back here.” 

“Roger,” Joker replied. “We’re on our way!”

_ _

* * *

John was knuckling the steering wheel of the Mako, his jaw set in a harsh line as he floored the craft- he was pushing the vehicle as fast as it could go, but it still didn’t feel fast enough. _I’m not going to be too late again,_ he thought with grim determination as he plowed through the geth in his path. His only goal was to get through that conduit- any enemy that decided it had a problem with it could eat the paint from the Mako as it ran them over.

“Guys,” Joker called out over the comms, “We gotta get you out of there- Saren is on the Citadel and the geth are attacking! I don’t know how he got there so damn fast, but you gotta leave, now!”

“Working on it!” John spat, his eyes focused solely on the road in front of him. “Get out of here and help them!” 

“How the hell are you ‘working on it!’ Did you guys inherit a new ship while you were down there? Last I checked, the Mako doesn’t fly, John!”

“Today it’s going to have to!” Jane shot back. “We’re headed for the Citadel now, Joker- meet us there!” 

Joker’s voice reached a fever pitch of confusion and frustration. “ _How the fuck are you headed for the Citadel, Jane!_ Is there a goddamn teleporter in the middle of the planet I don’t know about?” 

“Funny you should say that,” Garrus replied, his normally smooth voice sounding clipped as John shot over a geth that tried to ambush them. “What my mate _forgot_ to say is that the conduit is a mass relay… to the Citadel.” 

Joker paused for a moment. “ _No fucking way!_ So _that’s_ how that dickwad got there so fast! You better hurry up then- his metal boy toys are fucking shit up over there!” 

“Working on that now,” Nihlus replied. “We’re going to use it as well, but it’s closing- Shepard, can you go any faster?” 

_“Shut the fuck up!”_ John screamed, feeling like he was sixteen all over again- each voice in his ear felt like sirens drawing closer and closer to him with each passing moment. _I’m not letting us down_ , he thought, swerving to narrowly avoid the geth colossus firing on them from the middle of the road. _The Mako can take a few bullets- looks like the best way out is through._

“Guys,” he said warily as they approached the conduit, its lights swirling and beckoning in the distance, “does anyone know exactly _how_ we’re supposed to activate this thing?” 

“Joker!” Jane screamed, clutching the seat as John swerved to avoid incoming fire, “is there anything we have to do when we approach a mass relay with the Normandy?” 

“Negative!” Joker replied. “The mass effect field pulls you through- all you have to do is get close enough to it, but-”

“Good enough for me,” Jane screamed as they approached what looked to be a large ramp, _“Johnny, floor this bitch!”_

“If we die,” John growled as the Mako sped up the ramp and launched itself into the air, “I want it on record that _this wasn’t my fault!”_

“Oh my god, this is _so_ your fault!” Jane screeched as they hurtled through the air, all the occupants of the vehicle screaming at the top of their lungs as the mass effect field grabbed the Mako and pulled it through, winking them out of sight as though they never existed at all.

_ _

* * *

When she felt the ship lurch forward, Sol immediately made her way into the cockpit, her expression horrified. “Joker, what’s going on? Why are we leaving? Janey isn’t back yet!”

“No time to talk, Tiny,” Joker replied. “Too busy trying to make sure the council doesn’t die.” 

At that, Sol let out a squawk of rage and indignance. _“FUCK THE COUNCIL_! Those bastards didn’t believe my sister! They’re the reason we’re in this mess right now!” She glanced at the window and noticed them speeding away from the planet’s surface- without thinking, she lunged for Joker. “Go back and get them!” 

Instantly, Jenkins leaped up from his chair, grabbing her by her arms. “Calm down, Sol- they’re not there anymore!”

Sol’s eyes went wide as she whirled around to Jenkins, feeling the dark energy start to build up and dance over her plates. “I’m going to need you to explain,” she said through gritted teeth, “how all my friends and family just disappeared from the surface of a planet!” 

Jenkins eyed her arms warily and Sol closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and forcing herself to relax. “It’s the conduit,” he explained. “It’s not a weapon, but a mass relay… It took Saren and the others to the Citadel, Sol- they’re not on Ilos anymore.” 

It was as if the air had been knocked out of her lungs- Sol stumbled for a moment, but Jenkins caught her. “Do… do we know if they made it? Are they all right?” 

Jenkins looked at Joker for a moment, who just looked away before answering. “They’ve gone silent,” the pilot said carefully. “I talked to them just before they approached the relay- Jane told us to get to the Citadel.” 

“And then?” Sol asked, noticing the way Joker carefully avoided her eyes. “Have you heard from them since? Do we know if they made it ok?”

Joker sighed, then shook his head. “No.”

When her knees felt like they were going out, Jenkins grabbed her arm. “Look, them going silent isn’t necessarily a bad thing, Sol,” he said gently. “We know communication is spotty around relays, and this situation-” 

“Call them,” Sol said hoarsely, trying not to lose control. “I need you to get in contact with them, Joker… I cannot have lost my entire family in one second.” 

“I’m trying, Sol, I really am,” Joker replied, his tone apologetic. “But the comms channels are closed- Saren must be fucking with them.” 

Sol let out a sharp trill and slumped against the wall, her jaw going slack. “They have to be ok,” she whispered, not really talking to anyone in particular. “They just have to be.” 

“I’m going to have to agree with you,” Joker replied, his face grim as they sped toward the Citadel. “Because if they’re not, I'm afraid we’re all fucked.” 


	76. Times a'wasting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang arrives on the citadel

_ _

* * *

For the next few seconds, Garrus felt like his life was flashing before his eyes. 

The world rapidly shifted from the sickening sensation of freefall and certain death to a bone-rattling impact as the Mako crashed to the ground, tumbling over and over again. Garrus felt like the ride was never going to end as they rolled, his thoughts devolving to a single primal need- _protect my mate._ Even though he knew they were strapped in, all he could think of was the fact that she was too far- _she’s out of my reach…I can’t save her._

Next to him, Nihlus seemed to be having similar thoughts- though Wrex had complained about the cramped conditions of the Mako, Nihlus was using the lack of space to his advantage. He was as draped over Ash as conditions would allow, and Wrex was using his bulk to shield Tali and Liara. But, after what felt like an eternity, there was a crash as the Mako slid into the wall- the impact reverberated in his ears, sending specks of black floating in front of his eyes. “Jane,” Garrus called out, frantically unbuckling his seatbelt and realizing they were upside down as he hit the ceiling, “Jane, are you ok?” 

“Ugh,” came Jane’s muffled reply. “I’m stuck.”

“Hold on, I’m coming up there to get you out.” Garrus struggled to keep calm as he kicked at his door, breathing a sigh of relief when it finally popped open. Scrambling to his feet, he raced outside and yanked her door open, ripping off Jane’s harness and dragging her out of the vehicle. 

“My hero,” Jane said, her voice shakier than normal. “I’ll thank you properly later, but first, let’s get everyone else out of here.” 

Garrus nodded, and he went back inside the Mako, helping the others free themselves and crawl out of the only available door. Jane was scrambling around the front of the vehicle, struggling to free John from the driver’s seat. When his harness finally released she let out a loud gasp of relief and pulled him out, her eyes completely focused on making sure her brother was ok. When she was confident he could stand on his own, she turned and looked over the others- no one looked particularly happy about the event, but everyone seemed to be intact. 

“We have to find Saren,” Nihlus said tersely, looking around at the chaos. “I’m still not sure where this master control panel is, however.”

“Saren is currently headed toward the council chambers,” a robotic voice interrupted- all heads swiveled toward the AI that was now active behind them. “However, it is advised that all citizens evacuate the Citadel- hostile forces are gathering en masse near the Citadel Tower. Damage to the structure is projected to reach critical levels- C-Sec is unable to respond to new distress calls.” 

“Question answered,” Jane replied, her expression tight as she saw the mangled geth twitching beneath the Mako. “There's a lot of geth out here… Nih, can you and your team handle them while we take care of Saren?”

“I’m bringing him down,” Nihlus shot back as they raced toward the tower. “I owe him, Jane… I’m not letting him get away this time.” 

“And so do I,” Ash growled. “He took my team and tried to kill me… _twice_. That bastard is getting my foot in his ass today.” 

Wrex just grunted. “Looks like it's up to us to save the Citadel,” he huffed, then turned to Liara and Tali. “Me, baby blue, and the tech will stay out here and clean up the strays while you guys get in there and stop the squid ship from taking over the galaxy.” 

Grateful for his quick thinking, Garrus nodded. “Thanks, Wrex- take care of them, ok?”  
  
Wrex just laughed as he loaded his gun. “What are you talking about- this is the life, turian! I’m flanked by beautiful and dangerous women while I get to destroy my enemies- finally, you guys are living up to what I signed on for out here!” 

Jane just laughed, slapping the krogan on the arm as they prepared to go into the building. “Just make sure these ladies come home with you, battle turtle.” 

Wrex just nodded, his red eyes gleaming with excitement. “Will do.”

_ _

* * *

John glanced around nervously as they stepped inside the elevator. Honestly, he didn’t trust it- _didn’t they used to say to not take elevators in an emergency?_ But, they were short on time and the council chambers were a ways away- nonsensical or not, they’d have to do whatever they could to get to Saren. 

“What do you think is going on with the Normandy,” John mused, trying to keep his tone light as they rode up. He was doing his best not to think about the fact that he was riding up in a glass box of death in the middle of a firefight- _what if they shoot the cables? What if something breaks? What if there’s a fire?_ “I’ve been trying to radio in,” he said weakly, feeling his pulse start to race. “Can’t seem to get through.” 

Jane stared at him for a moment, then narrowed her eyes slightly. “I suspect Saren’s done something to the comms,” she said, glancing around as they ascended. “Makes sense- Sovereign probably told him to cut us off… it worked against the protheans, after all”.” 

“Yeah, I’mma need him to give those back,” John growled, closing his eyes and working to keep himself still. “The last thing we told them was that we were being extra stupid and leaping through a relay- they have to be shitting bricks right about now.” 

Nihlus sighed, shifting a little so he was standing in front of Ash. “Most likely they are on their way to the Citadel,” he replied. “After we told them our destination and there was no signal from us or the Mako, it’s the most obvious place for them to go.” 

“Right,” John said shakily, closing his eyes. “That makes-” 

Suddenly, the elevator lurched to a stop, making everyone stumble- John gasped, his biotics surging as he scanned the elevator, lost to panic. _We’re going to fall,_ he thought, desperately searching for something to hold onto and dropping to his knees. _I’m going to die here._

Three fingers clamped on his shoulder, startling him. “Breathe, Shepard,” Garrus said, looking at him with concern. “You’re fine,” he whispered in his ear. “Take a deep breath and calm down- we’re getting out of here, all right?” 

“I… ok,” John replied, gulping down air and working to calm himself down. “Yeah… I’m fine.”

Garrus helped him stand up- John smiled shakily. From the other side of the elevator, Jane was staring outside, no doubt trying to see what had happened. “Shit,” she hissed, turning back to everyone. “Looks like Saren stopped the elevators- nothing is moving.” Before John could say a word, Jane glanced over her shoulders for a second, then frowned. “Everyone, suit up- we’re going outside.” 

“But-” Ash started to protest, but Nihlus snapped her helmet down, effectively cutting her off. Despite his panic, John had to suppress a giggle- no one had ever shut up Ashley Williams that ruthlessly or efficiently before. 

_Who’d have thought the turian would be the one she needed,_ he mused, pulling his helmet on and locking eyes with his sister- Jane had that look in her eye that usually meant some crazy shit was about to go down. “Janey,” he asked, wondering just what was going through her mind, “what’s the plan?” 

“Stand back,” she replied, flipping down her own helmet and pulling out her pistol. Instantly, Garrus and Nihlus did the same- they’d come to the same conclusion John had. Nihlus immediately stood in front of Ash as Jane fired into the glass, her second shot shattering it

“We’re walking,” she said, taking a deep breath and stepping out into the shaft. “I have no intention of letting that bastard get away this time.” 

_ _

* * *

Nihlus looked around with horror at the damage and devastation surrounding them as they entered the council chambers. The alarms were blaring warnings to anyone within earshot, and small fires raged throughout the corridors- _this is a war zone,_ he thought, looking around in disbelief. _How can he possibly think that this is the answer!_

“Looks a lot different than the last time you were here,” John remarked dryly, levitating the geth in their path while Jane and Garrus shot at anything that got back up- he noted that the man was notably calmer now that they were out of the elevator. “The random fires burning everywhere really adds that extra oomph to the place.”

“Shut up,” Jane murmured, her body tense. “Nih, Gar... you hear better than anyone- what's going on up ahead?”

Nihlus paused, then a snarl ripped from his throat- instantly, he readied his pistol. “He’s up there,” he growled. “Follow me.” 

With every cell in his body thrumming with rage, Nihlus raced forward, not caring if the others caught up or not- he had every intention of taking care of this once and for all. But when he got to the spot where he was sure Saren was hiding, he only saw the strange glow of a holographic console. “I don’t get it,” he said, whirling around to Jane. “I know he’s-”

 _“Get down!”_ John yelled, tackling him to the ground and forcing him behind a pillar as a grenade sailed through the air, sending debris flying everywhere. “Fuck,” he hissed, holding his arm and wincing, “what do we do?” 

“Ah, you made it,” Saren replied, his voice icy and cold. “I was afraid you wouldn’t make it in time to witness this glorious occasion.”

“Yeah, well maybe if you hadn’t tried to blow us up at every turn, we’d have gotten here sooner,” Jane muttered. “Saren, stop this! Do you see what you’re doing? Sovereign isn’t going to save you! Ask the protheans- the reapers don’t save anyone!”

Saren scoffed. “Face it, Shepard- you’ve lost!” The man who Nihlus once idolized laughed, the sound so insane it made his ears hurt. “Sovereign is here, while the Alliance and the others are trapped outside! In a few minutes, Sovereign will control the Citadel and the relays, allowing the reapers to return- why do you resist the inevitable?”

“Because we know no good can come of this!” Nihlus shot back. “You have to still be in there somewhere, Saren- the turian I know would never let this happen!” 

“You know, for once you’re right, Kryik,” Saren replied- Nihlus could hear him advancing toward them. “Our battle on Virmire taught me not to underestimate you- as a result, Sovereign has… upgraded me.”  
  
“Fuck that! He _indoctrinated_ you!” Jane shot back. “That’s not an upgrade, Saren! He saw that you had the opportunity to resist his bullshit and he tightened your goddamn leash!”  
  
“That isn’t true!” Saren shot back. “Sovereign implanted me to strengthen my resolve- it removed the doubts you and Kryik sowed in my mind… it made me stronger!” Jane tried to line up a shot, but a blast from his gun forced her back into cover. “All of my doubts are now gone, Shepard- it’s freeing to no longer question the inevitable. Aren’t you tired of questioning? Aren’t you tired of no one listening to you? Don’t you want peace, Shepard? Join us… Sovereign can give that to you. The reapers can give you a reason to be- you can serve them, just as the organics were meant to!”

“I’d rather fucking die!” Jane spat. “That’s not a life, that’s slavery!”

“Then you will,” Saren replied, his voice robotic and metallic. “Don’t you understand, Shepard? You will die… you will all die! Everyone, everything you know and love will die? Is that what you want? The reapers cannot be stopped,” he hissed. “The protheans tried and failed, as did the others- the cycle always continues! Why do you insist on trying? Why fight the inevitable?” 

“Because I refuse to lay down and die for these dickheads!” Jane screamed. “I’m better than that! _You’re_ better than that! You’re a goddamn spectre! You swore to defend the galaxy!” She looked at Nihlus, who nodded. “Sovereign hasn’t won yet, Saren- I can stop it from taking control of the station!” 

“Lies!” Saren yelled. “There is no way to stop the invasion!”

“Yes, there is!” Nihlus yelled back. “She’s telling the truth, Saren! And if you don’t believe her, then listen to me! I’ve never lied to you- I _won’t_ lie to you! We can stop this! Just step aside and we can prevent this invasion!”

“We can’t stop it!” Saren retorted, but Nihlus detected a slight waver in his voice. “You saw the visions- you saw what happened to the protheans! The reapers are too powerful!”

 _He’s not as sure anymore,_ he noted. _We just might be getting through to him._ “Is that Sovereign talking or you!” Nihlus screamed. “The Saren I know would never give up because he thought an enemy was too powerful- he’d just find a different way to fight!”

To her credit, Jane immediately picked up on what he’d noticed. “At least some part of you has to know this is wrong,” she pleaded. “You can fight this- Benezia fought it… you can too!”

Saren paused, and for a moment, Nihlus could hear his sub-vocals- they were rumbling with doubt. “Maybe you’re right,” he said shakily. “Maybe there is a chance-” 

Then, the turian let out an ear-piercing scream, and Nihlus looked at Jane. _It’s the implants,_ he thought, recalling just how much the matriarch had to fight to break free of the indoctrination. _His implants are trying to take back control._

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, his voice strangled. “It’s too late for me… Sovereign is too strong.”

Remembering Benezia’s final moments, Nihlus took a deep breath and shot up from his position. “Do not let him dictate your end!”

“Then end it,” he said, staring directly at Nihlus, his eyes momentarily clear. “Send me to the ancestors, Kryik.” 

Nihlus nodded, steeling himself against what he knew had to be done. “Spirits take you,” he said, raising his gun. “May you find peace in the arms of the ancestors.”  
  
“A peace I don’t deserve,” he said. “But thank you… old friend.” 

If Saren said something else, Nihlus never heard it- all he heard was the report of his pistol and the sound of glass breaking as the body of his mentor crashed into the chamber below.

_ _

* * *

Jane wasted no time racing to the control panel and uploading Vigil’s control file without a second thought. _Please let this work,_ she thought as she watched the program cycle agonizingly slowly through the necessary commands, _we don’t have that much time._ But, just as she was starting to panic, she got a success message and she whooped with joy. “I’m in!” 

“Open the arms,” Garrus urged. “We need to get support in here.” 

“Fuck that, get the comms back online,” John shot back. “We don’t know what’s going on with the Normandy, _or_ with Wrex and the others- we need eyes and ears out here.”

Jane rolled her eyes, her fingers flying over the keys. “This is me we’re talking about here, boys- I can do both.” She smiled wryly, then pressed a button with a flourish. “There! Arms are opening, and comms should be coming on right about... _now_.” 

Right on cue, there was a screech of static, then a voice. “Mayday- this is the Destiny Ascension,” the asari voice said, its tone controlled yet frantic. Immediately, Jane glanced up to Ash- she recognized the tone, the same as she did. _It’s the same way she sounded_ , Jane thought, listening as the woman informed anyone that would listen that their shields were down and the council was on board. _That tone you get when you’re sure you’re about to die but you’re trying to keep it together just a little longer. My distress call sounded like that… Ash’s sounded like that._

“We have to help them,” Nihlus said quietly. “They’ll be slaughtered if we do nothing.” 

Jane wanted to say ‘fuck the council’, but then she thought about that navigator, doing her best to save her ship and her crew. _She didn’t fuck me over,_ Jane thought as she hailed the Normandy. _Neither did the other civilians on her ship._ “Joker,” she said, glancing at the console, “where are you guys?” 

“Thank god,” Joker exclaimed, sounding like the biggest weight in the world had been lifted from his shoulders- to be fair, since they’d popped through a relay in a Mako without a word, it probably had. “We’re sitting here in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet.”

Jane didn’t even have to look at her brother to know the relief he felt hearing their friend’s voice. “Glad to hear from you,” she replied. “Did you get the distress call from the Ascension?” 

“We did, but the relays are locked,” he replied. “I’m hoping for a Brainy Janey special so we can get those relays opened and save the day… whatcha got for me?” 

“Can you make it in time if I can get them open?” Jane asked, looking to Nihlus- her mentor nodded. “No, scratch that- _when_ I get them open,” she corrected herself, earning a proud rumble from her husband, “how fast can you get here?” 

“That’s a lot of soldiers,” Ash said quietly, voicing that little bit of doubt that was tickling the back of Jane’s mind. “Are we really going to send all those ships in just to save the council?” 

In the old days, Jane would’ve just yelled at the woman for being a bitch- she would’ve accused her of being selfish and xenophobic, doing whatever it took to put human lives first. But now, she recognized the question for what it was- a gut check. _This is your decision,_ Ash was telling her. _No matter what, someone’s blood will be on your hands, Jane, so you better make sure you know where it’s coming from and why._

“Soldiers know the risks when we join,” she said firmly, earning a nod from Ash. “Our goal is to save civilians… Joker, I’m opening the relays- get in there and save the day.” 

“Roger that,” he replied. “Hold on, Janey- Admiral Hackett is speaking to the fleet.” There was a bit of shuffling, then Joker returned to the line. “I’m patching him through now.” 

“Commander Shepard is opening the relays,” the man said sharply. “Our goal is to get the Ascension clear- once that’s done and the Citadel arms are open, all ships will be focusing on Sovereign- understood?”

There was a wave of agreement over the airwaves, and Jane felt her shoulders slump with exhaustion- they had finally done it. _All that’s left is to blast this squid ship to smithereens,_ she thought, trying to keep herself upright. _That, and…_

Before she could do anything else, John moved over to her and leaned down next to her ear. “Horror vids, Janey,” John said quietly, shifting his gaze toward the jagged glass. “What’s the number one rule you told me about?’

“Make sure the bad guy is dead,” Jane replied quickly, her eyes going wide as she realized just how right her brother was. “Fuck me sideways,” she murmured, feeling a sense of dread creeping up her spine as she looked around at the others. “We _need_ to go check that body.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT HAS BEEN WRITTEN!
> 
> I have finished writing 78, with an epilogue in the works! We start part 3 soon!


	77. Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team checks on what happened to Saren

_ _

* * *

Nihlus was conflicted as they descended into the chamber. _I shot him_ , he thought, his sub-vocals rumbling as a horrible feeling crept through his stomach. _When I finally saw a glimpse of who my mentor once was, I had to shoot him_.

“You did what was right,” Ash whispered, touching his arm lightly. “He was like Benezia, Nih- he didn’t want to be like that. In the end, he wanted to do what was right.” 

He didn’t mean to do it, but Nihlus scoffed as they approached the body. “You don’t have to placate me, Ash- I know he was a bastard that destroyed so many lives. I know he needed to be eliminated, and I am glad it was done by my hand.” Ash just stared at him as they hung back, letting Jane and Garrus take the lead. “But,” he said with a sigh, “that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel conflicted about it- he was my only friend… my family.” 

“You’ve got a new family now,” she said quietly, her voice low. “You’ve got me, Nih.” 

“Warm and fuzzies later,” John growled, his mouth set in a grim line as he pushed past them. “Dead maniac to attend to, remember?” 

As much as he wanted to snap at the man, Nihlus realized that John was right. _This is bigger than me_ , he thought grimly, nodding as they approached the body. _I can grieve later_. 

They drew closer and found Jane and Garrus standing over Saren’s corpse. The body lay in the grass, face down and unmoving. “He looks dead,” Garrus said, glancing around at the others. “What do we do now?” 

“Kill it with fire,” John muttered, kicking the body and scowling. Turning to Nihlus, he extended his hand. “I’m not into taking chances- hand me one of those mines, Kryik.” 

“Why are we wasting them?”Nihlus asked, skeptically handing the device to the detective. “As you’ve already mentioned, Saren is dead.”

“Because I’ll sleep better,” John growled, setting the mine next to the body. “Ash,” he said, turning to the soldier, “would you like to do the honors?” 

“Of what?” Ash asked, looking between him and Jane. “I’m not touching that fucker.” 

“You misunderstand,” John said simply, reaching for his gun and casually firing a shot into Saren’s head. “I’m just asking if you’d like to offer a few of your bullets.” Ash stared at him in confusion, but John just shrugged. “See, I believe in making sure the dead _stay_ dead, thank you very much. Janey made me sit through one too many zombie vids- If I’m living in one, I’d like _not_ to be the first one eaten. Hence,” he said, gesturing to her pistol, “your bullets are greatly appreciated, madam.”

“You’re a goddamn idiot,” Ash growled, but she took out her gun anyway. “But I can’t deny the appeal of it.” She stared at John for a moment, then grinned. “You know what- fuck it,” she said, whipping out her pistol and landing a clean shot into the back of his head. “Can’t say I’ve ever been one to waste an opportunity.”

As the report of the pistol rang out, Garrus sighed and turned to John. “ _Now_ can we call it?” 

John paused, then looked at the body. “I think we’re good. We’ve done everything the heroes in the vids should have done-” 

Before he could continue, there was a jolt that rocked the station, sending dust and debris everywhere. Rocks and chunks of concrete began to rain down on them, and instinctively, Nihlus grabbed Ash- to his horror, he watched a red lightning bolt struck Saren’s body, making the corpse pulsate with a sickening red glow. “What in the spirits-” 

“I _told_ you this was a goddamn horror vid!” John howled as he pushed Jane behind a fallen rock. “Everyone, get down- that tech in him is going to explode!”

_ _

* * *

Nana watched in disbelief as the remains of the Alliance cruiser drifted off into space, cut in half by the piercing red beam. Though she’d never melded with Janey like the young girl had, she instinctively knew that the power on display in front of her was only a fraction of the devastation of what she’d seen. _Damn Reapers… this is what they do. Eat up worlds like so much mush. The madness has to stop._

“What’s goin’ on out there, boy?” Nana barked and waved toward the forward viewport. "The Alliance is dancin’ around like a headless varren!

“Sovereign is handing us our ass,” Joker replied, glancing up at the asari. “Janey told us to protect the council on the Destiny Ascension, so that’s what they’re doing. However, that damn reaper is giving them hell out there!” 

Nana glanced at the pilot before refocusing her attention on the battle before them. The boy had a sour look on his face. _Looks like he’s been chewin’ on one of those things the humans call a dill pickle. Determined though... that’s gotta count for somethin’._ She scratched at the back of her neck and noted the beginnings of organized chaos. _The girl’s done well- might have to tell her I’m proud of her… if she survives this mess. By the goddess, she better survive it_. Suddenly, the asari paused- the reaper had been stoic all this time, so why had it finally decided to fight back now? 

“We can’t take much more of this,” an officer yelled out over the comms. “Admiral, we have to retreat!”

Then, as if it were yesterday, Nana remembered one of the first days she’d tried to teach John how to use his biotics. For all his bravado, the young man had never had anyone to challenge him like she had- each flare of energy she’d sent his way had to hurt, but the boy was stubborn. _Brat didn’t wanna touch his biotics. Don’t think he believed he was the one that leveled that whole block._ Instead of returning fire, he’d taken every shot without a single complaint, glaring at her the entire time.

 _Thought he was gonna wet his pants the first time I yelled at him, but he didn’t so much as lift a finger to defend himself. All that hellfire… doused in self-doubt_. Nana thought about how she’d pushed him. He was strong, she could see it in how much destruction he had wrought on Earth, but he’d been trying to shy away from it. She’d finally resorted to taking potshots at him. Tossing biotics around him and finally calling him a weak little pussy had finally begun to stir something in him, but no matter what she did, John didn’t say a word- he just continued to take the punishing assault. _Threw almost everything I had at him and he just stood there like a bump, glarin’. Couldn’t figure what was wrong with him then, so… I pushed a little harder. Figured if he cracked, he might finally do somethin’. That kid was the strongest human biotic I think I've ever seen- didn’t matter how much I yelled or what names I called him… he just stood there._

Without warning, John had let out an ear-splitting scream as he exploded with energy. _Damn, when he finally snapped… Goddess… it was beautiful. Good thing I thought to toss up my shields. That kid might have taken my head off- knocked me on my ass as it was._

Taking a moment to assess the damage, Nana made her way over to the young man, noticing that he was weak and shaking. Nodding to herself, she picked him up and scowled. Though she was proud of his accomplishment, she still needed him to understand that lashing out blindly wasn’t the way a well-trained biotic did things. _‘You can’t go poppin’ your cork like that just because you’re a little shook up- gotta do it right, boy.’_

Suddenly, the realization hit her like a wave- her eyes going wide, Nana leaned over and hit the button for the comms channel, ignoring the squawking of the pilot next to her. “This is Justicar Natearus T’Loak, you keep your asses in this fight, kids. My Janey and her team’s got that bastard runnin’ scared! It’s gonna fire at anything close by now that it knows we’re about to eat through its hull!” 

Hackett paused, then got back on the line. “Are you sure about this, Justicar?”

“I know my kids," Nana snapped at the admiral. "You keep that big bastard busy and let my girl do her job!” 

“Understood,” Hackett called back. “Everyone, keep firing on this thing- It’s our only chance!” 

_ _

* * *

Never in her life had Jane been so grateful for her brother’s paranoia. As the debris rained over them, she realized that she was sandwiched between her brother and her husband. “Saren!” Jane rasped, wriggling out from beneath them. “That fucker came back to life!”

“Of course it did,” John snapped. “You know the bad guy never stays down, Jane- you taught me that!” 

“Bicker later,” Garrus retorted, staggering to his feet and glancing around the room. “I-” 

When his voice trailed off, Jane turned around- instantly, she understood what had made him stop short. Hovering in front of them, trapped in the stasis mine, was the skeletal form of Saren. All his flesh had been burnt away, leaving nothing but a metallic husk standing in front of them, howling with rage. _Holy shit,_ she thought, readying her weapon, _that’s what he became… that’s what they want for us._

“I am Sovereign!” Saren’s corpse screamed, red beams of light crackling over its body and blazing from its empty eye sockets. There was nothing of the turian left- there was only metal and hatred standing before them, its body practically screaming for their annihilation. “This station is _mine!_ ” 

Watching as Nihlus and Ash crept around the back, Jane scowled, trying to figure out just how one should go about fighting a sentient machine. “How long can that mine hold him?”

“It held Nana for five minutes before she shorted it out,” Garrus replied under his breath, eyeing the monstrous sight and readying his gun. “I don’t think we have much time.”

“Then keep it focused on us,” John shot back, prepping his energy and tossing a shield up around them, the flickering blue barrier making the creature look like it was behind a curtain of water. “Hey dickhead,” he yelled, making the creature snap its head in their direction, “you lost! Let it go already!”

“This is pointless,” the creature growled, red ribbons of light dancing around its torso. “You will lose… it is time for your harvest- your fighting only delays the inevitable.” Jane fired a shot into its eye socket, feeling her heart start to beat wildly when it sailed through the creature- it laughed, the metallic sound roaring over her head. “He is more,” it sneered. “And soon you will cease to be.” 

“I beg to differ,” Nihlus snarled, slamming a grenade into the creature’s chest. The skeleton let out a roar and swiped at him, knocking the spectre into a rock- without a second thought, the team scrambled over to his side. “The reapers will not be defeated!” Sovereign screamed, clawing at its chest and trying unsuccessfully to pull out the grenade. “We will-”

Instantly, John burst with blue energy, throwing up a barrier around them as the corpse erupted. Jane shielded her eyes against the bright blue flare, feeling like her eyes were on fire as she heard the sounds of metal screeching through the air, clanging against the walls as it hurtled toward them. _Please let this be done_ , she thought as Garrus pressed his body against her, using his own as a shield. _For the love of all that is holy, please… let us have won._

_ _

* * *

From the cockpit of the Normandy, the pilot whooped with joy when he saw the reaper tumble off its perch. “They did it!” Joker crowed, turning to beam at the crew in his now-crowded room before diving into the open arms of the Citadel. “The shields are down! Now’s our chance to blast this thing, guys!”

Admiral Hackett’s voice came roaring over the comms. “You heard the man! Hit that ship with everything we’ve got!” 

_Finally_ , he thought with relief as they headed towards the falling reaper, _for once, something is going our way._ “Hard on my flank,” he called out, narrowing his eyes and preparing to dive, “we’re going in!”

“We have a shot!” Jenkins yelled, struggling to be heard over the din. “We can take it down, sir!” 

“Do it!” Joker barked, focusing his attention on their rapid descent and sucking in a lungful of air as the private gave the orders to fire on the ship, not letting himself think about anything else. Right now, he couldn’t afford to dwell on the unknowns of what happened to the Shepards, his frantic crew, or the battle raging around him. _Just fly,_ he thought, feeling like time was standing still as he watched the missile leaving the Normandy. _Everything else can come later… if there is a later._

After what felt like an eternity, he watched as the projectile sailed right through the reaper- all the air left his chest in one breath. “Direct hit!” 

Suddenly, there were other explosions- the ship began to break apart, sending huge pieces of the machine raining down on the Citadel. “We did it!” Joker said shakily, turning to look at the others and taking off his hat. “I can’t believe it- we… we just shot down a reaper, guys!” 

“See if you can reach Janey,” Sol said, leaning over and staring at the screen. The poor turian looked as if she was trying to will a call to come through, and the pilot knew that whatever discomfort he was feeling, she had to be feeling it ten times worse. “We need to know that they made it through ok.” 

_ _

* * *

For the umpteenth time that day, Castis Vakarian wished that he’d gone home to Palaven with his wife, and for the umpteenth time, he berated himself for thinking that way. _You are a soldier,_ he told himself as he ushered civilians to safety. _No matter what, your responsibility is to the people, Vakarian- do your duty._

As he raced toward the council chambers, he heard a familiar voice that sent a chill beneath his plates. “Hurry,” the man yelled to the soldiers racing with him, “Shepard and her team were last seen inside those chambers!” 

Whipping his head around, his fears were confirmed. The man leading the soldiers was Captain David Anderson, and if what he said was true, then that meant that his son was with her- _he’s too loyal not to be at her side_ , Castis thought, breaking out into a run. _If Shepard is there, then Garrus is in there, too._

With a speed he barely recognized, the turian raced to catch up with the Captain, covering their flank from the geth stragglers littering the Citadel. “What’s the status,” he barked, matching pace with the older human. “Why are Commander Shepard and her team in there?” 

The man regarded him coldly for a moment, but the angry expression was immediately replaced with a soldier’s decorum. “Commander Shepard and her team were responsible for the defeat of Saren,” he said sharply. “They re-established communications and re-opened the relays so the Alliance Fleet could assist the Ascension.” Anderson looked at the turian as they stopped in front of a worn-out looking quarian and a krogan carrying a half-unconscious asari. “Your children are heroes, Vakarian… _all of them.”_

He started to reply, but the man proceeded to ignore him. “Wrex,” Anderson said, addressing the krogan, “have you heard from Shepard?” 

The krogan shook his head. “Haven’t been inside yet,” he rumbled. “Been too busy beatin’ back the hunks of junk and making sure these two were ok.” He looked at an Alliance soldier, then growled. “You,” he snarled, making the man jump, “take her.” He thrust the asari into his hands, then turned to the quarian. “Tali, make sure he takes care of baby blue- if he fucks her over, put a bullet in his brain.” 

Castis let out a horrified rumble, but the krogan just whipped his head to him and sniffed. “So you’re the useless motherfucker that made Little Turian cry,” he growled. “I should put your head through this wall.” 

Unsure of what the krogan was talking about, Castis started to reply, but Anderson broke in. “Wrex, we’re going to need your help,” he said quickly. “Aerial images show that the main chambers are a mess- think you can help us locate them?” 

“Course,” he huffed, fixing his red eyes on Castis. “Someone’s gotta look out for the whelps… it’s not like their father does.” 

At that, the elder Vakarian had finally had enough- he whirled around to the krogan, sub-vocals rumbling with anger. “My _son_ is inside,” he growled, no longer trying to hide his irritation. “Anderson, why is this… _krogan…_ insisting on testing my patience!”

“Because he’s Uncle Wrex,” the quarian retorted, placing her hands on her hips. “And he loves Sol and Gar no matter what… unlike _you_ , you stuck up bosh’tet!”

“Enough!” Anderson roared, making everyone jump. “We don’t have time for this! Wrex… Castis… can you two keep it together long enough for us to find the commander, or do I need to ask you to leave, Vakarian?” 

Realizing that both men had the same look of parental frustration on their faces, Castis sighed and rubbed his fringe. “The captain is right,” he said stiffly. “We can’t afford to waste any more time standing out here arguing- I need to find my son... now.” 


	78. Small Shifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the battle sets the stage for what comes next

_ _

* * *

Castis and the krogan made their way into the chambers, sifting past dust and debris. Everywhere he looked, he could see the devastation from the battle- a piece of the ship that the Normandy had taken down had crashed through the ceiling, leaving the once pristine chambers in ruins. _I cheered when that ship went down,_ Castis thought morosely. _Does this mean I cheered for my son’s death, too?_

 _Commander Shepard’s ship,_ he thought bitterly, trying not to focus on the fact that if it weren’t for the human, neither his son nor his daughter would be anywhere _near_ this mess right now. _Sol would’ve been at home and Garrus would’ve been mated,_ he growled to himself, sifting through the wreckage, listening for any sign of life. _He would’ve been... out here with C-Sec,_ he realized grimly. To his dismay, Castis couldn’t think of a scenario where his son wouldn’t have been somewhere in this fray, and he had to fight back the keen that was building in his chest. _Spirits, let my boy be okay,_ he prayed, frantically listening for the sounds of life. _I cannot lose him like this._

“Can you… smell anything?” Castis asked stiffly, trying to avoid looking at the krogan. From what he could gather, the one they called Wrex had traveled with them- judging by his reaction, he’d even given the others the impression he was fond of Sol and Garrus. “We need to find Garrus quickly.”

“Commander and her brother are in there too,” Wrex said pointedly. “Last I checked, those two were mated to your kids- seems to me you might want to make finding _all_ your family a priority… turian.” 

“Those humans are-” Castis caught himself before he could continue and bit back a growl. _I’m depending on this lumbering asshole right now_ , he thought irritably. _I can be angry later- right now, finding Garrus is the top priority_. “ _Again_ , can you smell anything… _krogan_?”

Wrex took a deep sniff, then frowned. “I smell ozone… and a lot of it.” He pointed to a pile of rubble in the center of the room. “Anderson! Something’s going on under there!”

Before the human and his crew could move, Castis raced to the center of the room, hurling chunks of concrete out of the way. Now that he was closer, he could hear the crackle of electricity coupled with faint groans- _he’s here_ , the turian thought frantically. _I just have to get to him._ Castis was barely aware when red-armored hands moved like lightning next to him, hurling whatever obstacles he could to get to the source of the smell and sound. What did snap the elder Vakarian out of it, however, was the sight that appeared before him when he shifted a piece of the wreckage. 

Beneath the fallen ceiling, a biotic bubble crackled, encasing a barely conscious Garrus draped over the commander, and a woman clutching an unconscious turian. Behind them was John, looking as though he was about to pass out from the strain of holding the barrier. _How long has he been holding this barrier,_ Castis thought as he tried to get to his son. _How strong is this human?_

“Shepard!” Wrex called out, trying to get the human’s attention, but it was of no use- the man was staring at the ground and ignored them. “Shit,” the krogan yelled, turning to the others, “the whelp’s going to fuck himself up like this!” 

Without a second thought, Castis grabbed a dampening mine and tossed it at the human, shorting out the barrier. When the young man slumped over, the krogan cradled him in his arms and carried him away, leaving a stunned Castis to grab his son and wonder if he might be slightly wrong about the unconscious male that had nearly given his life for his son. 

_ _

* * *

Nihlus opened his eyes, feeling almost as bad as he did after tangling with Saren on Virmire. _My body is on fire_ , he thought as he coughed, wincing at the pain in his side when he did. _I’m getting too old to keep getting tossed around like a rag doll in battle_. 

Before he could move, he felt a soft hand gripping his arm and he exhaled, the tension in his shoulders melting away. “Doc says you need to sit still, Nih,” Ash said, raising her hand to her lips. “We’ve been worried about you.” 

“We… or you?” Nihlus asked, unable to resist teasing her as he brought a hand to her cheek. “You had a perfect opportunity to get rid of me, Ash.” 

“Never,” Ash replied, pressing her lips to his and smiling before leaning over to whisper conspiratorily in his ear. “See, I don’t know if you know this,” she said softly, running her fingers lightly over his fringe, “but I have this mark on my shoulder that says I’m mated to you.” He chuckled as he rested his hand on it, rumbling softly as she pressed her lips to his shoulder. “Good thing too… they didn’t want to let me in to see you.” Ash sighed as she sat back, worry etched on her face. “They did the same thing with Sol,” she whispered. “Luckily she thought to get a turian admin who recognized what the marks meant- otherwise, I don’t think they’d have let us through.”

His heart almost stopped for a moment and he took her hand, eyes roaming across her face. “What do I need to do to fix that?”

“Nothing for now,” Ash replied, settling against him. “Just focus on getting better... seems like we’re going to have one hell of a dog and pony show to deal with when we get out of here.” 

Something about the way she said that last part made Nihlus frown. “What aren’t you saying, Ash?” When she didn’t reply, he nuzzled her arm with his head. “I know you, Ash- there’s more to this story than you’re telling me.” 

“I was the only one that wasn’t unconscious,” she said slowly. “Maybe it was because I didn’t take as big a hit in the crash… I’m not really sure.” Ash sighed, then looked down, gripping Nihlus’s hand in hers. “Anyway, when we got to the hospital… Udina came to find me.” 

Instantly, Nihlus went stiff, trying to force himself to calm down. “And what did he want?”   
  
“He wanted to know how they stole the Normandy,” she admitted. “And he wanted to know if I wanted to testify against you and Jane to the council… said we’ve already had one rogue spectre and we don’t need two more.” 

Nihlus didn’t trust his voice, so he stayed quiet and didn’t say anything- however, Ash took his hand in hers. “I told him the truth- I don’t know how they got the ship.” She looked around the room, and instantly, Nihlus got the point- _there are cameras,_ she was saying. _We can’t talk here._

He paused for a moment, then let out a confused-sounding trill. “I know that part,” Nihlus remarked, glancing around the room, “but I didn’t think you wanted anyone to know about-”

“You’re my husband,” she replied, lacing her fingers in his. “I should’ve said it before- I want the world to know how much I love you, Nih. And no matter how we started, I’m damn proud of how we ended up- I couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Technically, not a person,” Nihlus teased, earning a laugh from the woman he loved more than anything else in the world. “That being said, how do you feel about spending the rest of your life with a turian, Ash?” 

“I think I’m pretty attached to that idea,” she replied, resting her head against his. “Just as long as my husband stops trying to blow himself to bits- you keep that up and I’m going to start thinking it’s my fault.”

“Hmmm,” Nihlus said thoughtfully, closing his eyes and inhaling the warm scent of her skin against his. “We might have a problem, then.” 

“Odd problem to have,” Ash replied, placing a kiss on his lips. “Care to tell me why my husband insists on being reckless?”

“Because he’s always going to do whatever he can to keep you safe,” Nihlus whispered, his aches and pains momentarily forgotten. “You’re my mate, Ash… I’d gladly give up everything for you.”

_ _

* * *

Sol sat next to John, stroking his curls as the monitor beeped steadily. “You have to wake up,” she whispered, pressing her head to his and keening softly. “You’re my mate, Johnny- I can’t do this without you.”

She slumped against his arm, trying to sort through everything swirling around her head. John had been unconscious since Wrex had found him, and the medical staff had practically had to drag Sol away while they examined him. When she’d sobbed in the krogan’s arms at the thought of her family, she’d thought she’d seen her father in the hall out of the corner of her eye. When she saw Castis head into Garrus’s room and sit with him, her jaw dropped in shock. But when she looked up and saw his stern-looking face in the doorway of John’s room, she couldn’t be sure she wasn’t trapped in some strange, twisted dream.

Trying to keep her tone even, Sol turned to stare at her father. “Is there something you need me for?” Sol asked, turning her attention back to John- secretly, she’d hoped her agitation would rouse the sleeping man. “I’m afraid I’m a bit preoccupied at the moment, Dad.” 

Sighing, Castis made his way into the room, settling down in a chair on the other side of the room. “I can see that,” he said simply, then he let out a soft and exhausted-sounding rumble. “It’s been an exhausting day.” 

Not even trying to hide her frustration, Sol lowered her head. “Why are you here, Dad?” 

She could hear him fidgeting in his seat, and Sol paused when she heard him trill softly. “I was here to get your brother’s job back,” Castis said, his tone embarrassed. “Chellick called me, said that the council was pressuring Pallin about Garrus and his partner. Imagine my surprise to hear alarms warning us of an invasion as soon as I arrived.” He chuckled mirthlessly, causing her to cautiously raise her head. “Strange turns of events, it seems.”

Something nagged at Sol about the way he was avoiding her question. “That wasn’t what I asked you,” Sol said quietly, watching her father closely. “I know you’ve gone to see Garrus, which is surprising enough- what I want to know is why are you _here…_ in my mate’s room?” 

Castis sighed, and Sol immediately caught the slump in his shoulders. “He saved them all,” the turian said, pointing at John. “He used all his energy to save them back there, knowing there was a chance he wouldn’t survive.” Her father shook his head, a confused-sounding rumble coming from deep in his chest. “I’m just curious as to why.” 

Irritably, Sol let out a low growl. “Because they’re his _family_ ,” she snapped. “Johnny would do anything to protect the people he cares about… because he’s a _good man!_ How many times must I tell you that? Why do you always insist on seeing the worst in him!” 

He started to say something else, but Sol cut him off. “No,” she said firmly. “I am not going to indulge this foolishness right now! Dad, I am here… with my _mate_. If the next words out of your mouth aren’t to pray to the spirits for his recovery, then I must ask you to leave… _now_.” 

_So pigheaded_ , Sol thought. _Can’t get over himself for two minutes… he always has to be right, no matter the cost._

Silently fuming, Sol turned away, taking John’s still hand in hers. She expected him to yell at her for her outburst, or to storm out of the room in a huff. But to Sol’s surprise, her father did the unthinkable.

Without another word, Castis Vakarian bowed his head and started to pray. 

_ _

* * *

Groaning, Jane woke up in a hospital bed, blinking groggily as she tried to sit up. When she scanned the room, her husband and brother were nowhere to be found, and the last thing she remembered was him tackling her to the ground as the bomb went off. Trying not to panic, she turned to the shape sitting next to her. “Where’s Garrus? Where’s Johnny?” 

“Calm down, little one,” a soothing voice said, stroking her head. “Garrus is in the other room- now that you’re awake, you can see him shortly.” 

Struggling to focus, she blinked again and exhaled with relief as she realized who the shape next to her was. “Yeloris,” she breathed, collapsing against the bed. “Why… why are you here?”

The turian laughed as she leaned over Jane, her blue eyes kind as she stroked her hair. “Because my chicks are here,” Yeloris replied, pressing her head lightly to hers for a moment before sitting next to her on the bed. “That’s what mothers do, little one- when you need us, we come.”

Jane felt a lump in her throat as she tentatively reached for the woman, choking back a sob when she felt three fingers wrap around her hand. “Garrus needs you,” she said quietly. “You should be in there with him.” 

“True, but my daughter needs me right now,” Yeloris replied, squeezing her hand and brushing a finger over her forehead. “You did well,” she whispered, a soothing rumble coming from the woman. “I’m so proud of you, little one.” 

Jane blushed as she leaned against her, allowing herself to wrap her arms around Yeloris. “I… I wish you were my mom,” she whispered, closing her eyes and trying not to cry. “You have no idea how much I always wanted a mom like you.” 

“You don’t need to wish for that,” Yeloris replied, draping an arm over her and humming softly. “It’s pointless to waste a wish on what you already have- you should dream bigger, little one.” 

At that, Jane really did start crying, letting all the stress she’d been holding erupt in waves as the woman rocked her with strong arms, humming softly the entire time. _I have a family_ , she thought, clutching the soft fabric of Yeloris’s dress in her hands. _I have a family that loves me… and I saved the galaxy for them._

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and the turian shifted, blocking Jane from the view of anyone at the door. “Who is it?” Yeloris called out, her tone wary- instantly Jane felt relieved. _No one is going to bother me while she’s here_ , she thought happily, hugging her mother tighter. _I don’t have to worry about anything right now._

“It’s Anderson,” the voice called out, then laughed as the door opened. “Good to see you awake, Janey- how are you feeling?”

“Is this business or personal, David?” Yeloris asked, her tone pleasant but firm. “My little one has had a trying ordeal- letting her get some rest would be advisable, don’t you agree?”

Jane sighed as she sat up, pressing a soft kiss to the woman’s cheek. “It’s okay,” she said, smiling at her so hard she felt like her heart might burst. “Someone’s gotta do it, right?” 

“Take it from someone who knows,” Yeloris replied, stroking her cheek and cupping her chin in her hand, “It doesn’t always have to be you, Jane.” The woman shot a look at Anderson, then patted Jane’s leg. “I’ll go check on Garrus- spirits know he’s probably chafing at being left with his father this long.” She nodded at the captain as she left, the look in her eyes telling a strong story that warmed Jane’s heart- _don’t hurt my child._

Smiling, Jane sat up, adjusting herself in the bed to look at her uncle. “So,” she said carefully, knowing that she hadn’t accounted for cameras and mics in the room- she desperately wanted her omni-tool. “How’re things, Uncle David?” 

“Business as usual,” Anderson replied, walking over and placing a kiss on her head before dropping something in her lap. “Figured you might want that,” he said, his gaze shifting to the device she now held in her hands. “They poked and prodded it, but it’s the _strangest_ thing- the damn thing wouldn’t turn on for anyone.” 

Slipping her omni-tool on her arm, Jane felt whole again. As the system booted up, she shrugged casually. “Technology can be so finicky.” When her tool was fully up and running, she launched her program, scanning the networks and muting the feeds in her room. _Lots of bugs in here_ , she thought bitterly. _Guess someone was hoping that Commander Shepard talked in her sleep._

There was a soft ping, and Anderson gave Jane an amused look. “Are all the eyes and ears gone?” 

“Only ones left are yours and mine,” Jane replied happily, trying to get comfortable in the bed. “So, what’s going on?”

“Council is posturing,” Anderson said flatly, sitting on the bed next to her. “Tevos did exactly as she promised- settled Udina down somehow, got him to take credit for bucking orders and setting the Normandy loose. Now… they want to offer humanity a seat on the council.”

To anyone else walking by, it seemed like a casual conversation, so Jane kept her face still. “That’s… convenient,” she said slowly. “And lemme guess- they want the weasel man to get it.” 

Anderson cleared his throat. “Actually,” he said nervously, “she wants me to take it.” Jane’s eyes went wide, and Anderson shrugged. “Tevos made it a point for me to tell you about it,” he said carefully. “Said that the council was going to be looking to the woman who made the call to save them, showing that humanity was more than ready to have a seat at the table.”

“She wants me to support your candidacy,” Jane mused, closing her eyes. “Not that I don’t, but do you have any idea why?” 

“I assume it’s to block Udina,” Anderson replied casually, letting Jane rest against him. “I’m also not dumb- I owe the woman a favor,” he said bitterly. “But I’m not exactly looking forward to being stuck with Udina… he has to stick around, at least for appearance’s sake.” 

“Keep your friends close and enemies closer,” Jane said softly, closing her eyes. “I just wish I knew which one Tevos was- might make my life easier.” Anderson chuckled and draped his arm over her- Jane looked up at him, her expression curious. “Are you sure you want this? You’re a soldier, not a politician, Uncle David.” 

“We all have our parts to play,” he replied, leaning his head against the wall as Jane fell back asleep, comforted by the sound of Anderson’s heartbeat thumping softly in her ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANNOT believe this, guys- tomorrow, this whole saga that is ME1 will be complete! We're gonna be rolling right on up to ME2, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, so... *cracks fingers* let's get ready to get into it! The epilogue for this and the prologue of the new series go up at the same time, so if you want to continue with these dorks, get ready to subscribe to me and/or part 3! 
> 
> Also, part 3 will update 2-3x a week because I have already proven that I can be insane- I have written a chapter a day for 99 days... I can rest now (gotta love how 'rest' is still that frequent!)
> 
> Looking forward to seeing you all soon- hope you've enjoyed this journey!


	79. Never in my wildest dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Normandy gets together for a special occasion

_ _

* * *

John was pretty damn tired of waking up and feeling like he’d been run over by a raging krogan. _At this point, it’s fucking comical_ , he thought, struggling to open his eyes. _I swear, I’m done playing the hero- someone else can take the hit for once_. 

When he shifted in bed, he immediately heard a surprised chirp coming from the seat next to him. “Johnny! Thank the spirits, you’re finally awake!” 

Doing his best to focus, he smiled at the excited face of his wife staring back at him. “Tiny,” he said hoarsely, tentatively reaching for her hand. “Fancy seeing you here.” 

Sol’s hand flew to her mouth and she let out a soft keen, gasping as she pressed her head to his. “It’s been two weeks, and we've… we’ve been so worried,” she whispered, her voice muffled as she rested her head on his shoulder, running her hand through his long, shaggy hair. “Janey and I… we’ve been taking shifts...”

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he replied, trying to smile- everything in his body hurt. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but since the skies don’t seem to be on fire… I’m going to assume we won?” 

Sol laughed, then hugged him tighter. “You’re an idiot, Johnny.” 

“That may be true,” John replied, bringing his hand to her head and gently stroking her face. “But I’m your idiot.”

“Damn right,” Sol murmured, her face still buried in his shirt. Then she lifted her head, her bright blue eyes looking at him with concern. “How are you feeling?” 

He thought about it for a moment, then shifted in bed. “Definitely been better, but seeing you here more than makes up for the fact that I’m pretty sure the lower half of my body is about as blue as your markings right now.”

Sol just shook her head, gripping his body as tightly as she dared- he knew she was scared about hurting him. “Don’t do that to me again,” she whispered. “I need you with me, Johnny.” 

“I told you,” John said quietly, tilting her face to his, “I’m always coming back for you, Tiny… you don’t ever have to worry about that.”

His wife laughed, twirling a strand of his long, dark hair around her finger. “I’m always going to worry about you- it seems to me that _you’re_ the one who doesn’t worry enough about himself.”

“Probably,” he replied, earning himself a light punch in the arm and glaring at his wife. “ _Anyway_ ,” John retorted, rubbing the spot where she’d hit him and ignoring her giggles, “what did I miss while I was out?” 

“A lot,” said a voice from the doorway. John looked up and let out a laugh- his sister was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, her wavy blue and black hair resting on her shoulders. “Took you long enough to wake up, Sleeping Beauty- I had to get the party started without you.” 

John just chuckled. “Excuse me for having the nerve to be in a coma, sis- I’ll try not to inconvenience anyone next time, ok?” Jane smirked and flipped him off, but he ignored it and pointed to her hair. “Got a haircut, I see? Totally regulation… I’m feeling it.” 

Jane shrugged, letting her smirk evolve into a full-blown grin. “Yeah, when you stop an ancient civilization from enacting the apocalypse, you tend to get a little leeway.” He scoffed and she crossed the room, wrapping her arms around him. “Don’t do that again, ok? I need my brother with me, Johnny- who else is going to keep me from going to the dark side?” 

“Guess you got a point,” he murmured, savoring the embraces of the two most important people in the world to him. “We got this, Janey… always.” 

_ _

* * *

“Jane! Hurry up in there,” Garrus called out, impatiently knocking on the bathroom door. “If you don’t finish up soon, we’re going to be late!” 

“Hold your goddamn horses,” she replied, her attention still focused on the mirror. “I’ll be out in a second!”

Her husband started to say something else, but Jane opened the door before he could- instead of frantically yelling about her lack of punctuality, he just stared at her, gaping. “You look amazing,” Garrus stammered, his eyes roaming over her face. “Absolutely breathtaking.”

“Thank you,” Jane said shyly, tucking one of her blue curls behind her ear and letting Garrus twirl her around, the silver gown shimmering as she moved. “Gotta admit, I never thought I’d see the day I’d be voluntarily going to Ash’s wedding, but…” 

“Stranger things have happened,” Garrus replied, laughing as he placed a kiss on the side of her neck. “I do seem to recall my mate committing treason to save the galaxy.”

Jane smirked, running her fingers over his fringe and chuckling as he purred beneath her touch. “I got a month-long vacation out of it, so I’m not complaining.” 

Garrus rolled his eyes. “You and I must have different ideas of what complaining is,” he said pointedly, grabbing her jacket from the bed and draping it over her shoulders, “because I seem to remember someone coming in after every meeting absolutely livid about how ‘the council isn’t taking this seriously’ and ‘we need to make sure this is over’ and-”

“Point made, armor cat,” she said, scowling as she punched him in the arm. “No one likes a smart-ass, Garrus.” 

“You do,” he rumbled, trailing a talon lightly down the front of her dress. “Care to show me just how much?”  
  
“What happened to ‘we’re going to be late’?” Jane said teasingly. “If we’re late, I’m telling Ash that you-” 

“And _that’s_ about enough of that,” he said, laughing as he jokingly clamped his hand over her mouth- in retaliation, she flicked her tongue across his palm. “Seriously, you aren’t mad that we aren’t having a ceremony like this?” 

“And who would I invite?” Jane asked, staring up at him as they left the apartment and locked the door. “If we did, I’d be in the same boat as poor Nih- considering most of my family is turian, wouldn’t make much sense to do a whole human shindig, you know?” She shook her head firmly, then kissed him, her purple lipstick blending in with his blue markings. “I got this,” she said, wiggling her hand in his face and letting the blue diamond sparkle in the light as she reached in his shirt, tracing her finger along the thin chain that held his wedding band. “Never ever tell John this, but I think this was a really nice idea- I kinda like showing the world that I’m a one-turian woman.” 

“It was actually Sol’s idea,” Garrus replied as they got inside the elevator. “Said she liked the tradition… and I was inclined to agree with her.”

“Don’t care whose it was,” Jane murmured, leaning against him. “I like it just the same.” 

Garrus started to respond, but he was interrupted by a strange tone on Jane’s omni-tool. _That’s odd,_ she thought, opening her messaging program and frowning. _No one sends me messages with this level of encryption anymore._

_MyFairJaney,_

_Who’d have thought all those years ago that the little girl I used to know would be making this many waves in the world? Still dreaming big like I taught you, I see. Congratulations, Eliza- I’m proud of you._

_Look, I know we don’t talk anymore, but some things are bigger than you and me- and this reaper thing you’ve been working on… it’s one of them. I have some info, and you’re the only one I trust._

_I’ll be on the Citadel in two weeks- can I meet with you about it?_

_-ProfX_

Scowling, she shut her tool, blowing out a deep, angry breath. “Sonofabitch.” 

Garrus raised a brow plate at her, his curiosity piqued by her frustration. “Something wrong?”

“Yeah,” Jane huffed, blowing out a deep breath and trying to force herself to calm down. “Got a strange message... someone I don’t talk to anymore fishing for a conversation, that’s all.” 

Instantly, Garrus’s face went from curious to concerned. “Do we need to go back upstairs?”

Jane shook her head. “Nope… It’s Ash’s day- I’ll do some digging on it when we get home. Right now, I’m focusing on getting through an event with Ash’s family and supporting my friend with one of the most insane days of his life.”  
  
Her husband’s face relaxed, but only a fraction. “Jane, don’t you think you’re exaggerating a little? We did stop a rogue spectre and survive having half a reaper dropped on our heads,” he said as they got into the skycar. “I’m pretty sure dealing with a human wedding is probably the least stressful thing Kryik has dealt with in a while.”

“I hate to be the one to tell you this,” Jane said with a laugh as she settled into her seat, “but you’re only saying that because you’ve never had to deal with a human wedding before.” 

_ _

* * *

“Johnny,” Sol whispered, leaning over and trying not to focus on the strange human woman glaring at her as if she were death incarnate, “why is the woman across from me practically growling? I thought this was supposed to be a happy day?”

John sighed, running his hand over his shorter curls, the gold wedding band on his finger glinting in the light. “Because you’re with me, Tiny.” 

Sol just cocked her head, smoothing down her dress as she tried to focus on Ash and Nihlus exchanging their vows. “I don’t understand- what does that have to do with anything?” 

“That’s Ash’s aunt,” he said, tentatively raising a hand in greeting- the woman sniffed and shot her head around, moving so fast her hair whipped the man sitting next to her in the face. “She thinks that’s supposed to be me up there.”

Instantly, Sol’s eyes went wide and she chirped softly- John just smiled and put his arm around her. “I sometimes forget that you and Ash were together once upon a time.” 

“Yeah, well I think life works out how it’s supposed to,” he replied, watching as Nihlus slipped the ring on Ash’s finger. “I’m happy for her… she got what she needed.” 

“Can’t believe she’s marrying a turian,” the woman huffed to the man across from her. “She _knows_ what they did to her grandfather… must be _determined_ to keep the family name in the mud.”

At that, Sol let out a gasp and whirled around to the woman. “Do you mind? My friend is getting married up there,” she hissed. “If you were going to be rude about it, you didn’t have to come!” 

_“Friend?”_ The woman snorted derisively. “Some friend you are, canoodling with her fiance- _he’s_ the one that should be up there!” 

“No, I really shouldn’t,” John replied, staring at the woman. “Careful, Carol, your xenophobia’s showing,” he said casually, then gently shifted Sol away from the woman. “People are staring at you- what will the neighbors think if they see you talking to... _a turian?_ ” 

The woman let out an indignant squawk, causing most of the room to turn and look at her. Realizing that she was now the center of attention, the woman shot Sol a piercing look and shot out of her seat, walking out of the ceremony in a huff. 

From her seat, Sol could see that Ash was on the verge of tears and she squeezed John’s arm. “Oh no,” she whispered, glancing at the bride, “what do we do?” 

Instead of answering, John just smiled. Wasting no time, he cupped his hands to his mouth. “Don’t mind Aunt Carol- she just left the stove on! We can continue without her!” A soft smattering of chuckles rippled through the crowd, and Ash flashed John a grateful look- Sol smiled appreciatively at her mate. “That was nice,” Sol murmured. “Thank you.” 

“It’s Ash’s day,” John said firmly, turning his attention back to the front of the room. “It’s not about assholes like her… it’s about those two up there.” He smiled, then rested his hand on Sol’s leg. “And look at you,” he whispered, making Sol rumble with happiness, “standing up to folks for the woman you once punched in the face.” As Nihlus kissed Ash, John rose to his feet and clapped as they walked past them. “If someone had told me years ago that I’d be proud to sit at my ex’s wedding with my turian wife, I’d have thought they were on red sand.” 

Sol chirped with happiness as her friend walked down the aisle, giving the bride a beaming smile as she sailed past. “Are you disappointed about how things turned out?”

“Never,” he replied, kissing her on the cheek. “In fact, I’m going to go with ridiculously happy, Tiny.” 

_ _

* * *

John cleared his throat, tapping the shoulder of the woman in white laughing in front of him. “Pardon me… but may an old soldier have this dance?”

Ash’s eyes opened wide, but she laughed and extended her arm. “Johnny, you can cut the bullshit- we both know you can’t dance. Plus, aren’t you supposed to stay off your feet- do I need to tell the doc on you?” 

He pretended to look offended, ignoring her giggle. “One, I am perfectly able to stand here and look handsome, and I'll have you know that I have _mastered_ the art of swaying convincingly to music.” Then he grinned, leaning over and giving her a tight hug. “You make a beautiful bride, Ash… I’m happy for you.” 

“You know, if this was one of Janey’s movies, wouldn’t this be the part where you try to sweep me off my feet and steal me from my new husband?” Ash asked teasingly, poking him in the shoulder. “I’m a happily married woman, I’ll have you know.” 

“And I’m a happily married man,” John replied, wiggling his hand at her. “Guess all we needed was it not to be with each other.”

“And for our partners to be turian,” she said, smiling as he led her onto the dance floor. “Who’d have thought it?”

From nearby John heard Sol giggle and he stuck his tongue out at her, chuckling to himself when she did the same. “Not me, that’s for damn sure.” 

“I can’t believe this is my life,” Ash said, her tone almost reverent as she leaned on his shoulder. “Leave it to your wife to help me get the wedding of my dreams together in an instant.” 

“That’s Tiny for you,” he replied, laughing. “Never met something she couldn’t do when she put her mind to it.” 

Ash just laughed. “You know, there was a time… where I would’ve given anything for this to be our day. Now…” her gaze shifted to Nihlus, who was standing on the balcony, “now I can’t imagine it being with anyone other than him.” 

“Funny how life works out,” John mused, spinning her around and watching her white dress billowing around her legs. “Kryik got the best version of you, Ash- I’m proud of the person you grew up to be… and I’m honored to be your friend again.” He pulled her out of the turn, and she rested against his chest, swaying to the music with him. “You know,” John teased, “if my wife was anything like you used to be, she’d be over here frothing at the mouth by now.” 

“Sol’s not worried about you,” Ash said firmly, staring up at him and smiling. “She knows you’re whipped over her.” 

“A fair point,” John replied, shaking his head. “Man, I’m so glad we broke up, Ash- to think, if I’d stayed with you, we’d both be miserable by now.” 

“And _this_ is what you tell me on my wedding day,” Ash teased, poking him in the side. “You’re lucky I’m head over heels for my husband, John Shepard.” 

“I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t,” John admitted, his grey eyes flitting over to his wife. “You’ve earned this, Ash… enjoy every minute of it.” 

“I’ll try,” she said quietly. “Kind of hard when half of your family thinks you’re making the biggest mistake of your life and pissing on the family name, though.” 

“Fuck them,” John said firmly, taking her hands in his. “Ash, are you happy?” 

“More than I ever thought possible,” she admitted. “After us, I never thought I’d get to have something like this.. I’ve never been happier to be wrong in all my life.”

“Then like I said,” he replied, spinning her one last time, “fuck everyone else and enjoy every moment of this… because you’ve earned it, Ash.” 

_ _

* * *

“So,” Jane asked, her voice full of laughter as Nihlus stood on the balcony of the hall, “was this whole thing worth ditching me for?”

Nihlus laughed, turning around to see Jane coming toward him with two drinks. “If one of those is for me, then I’ll have to say yes.” 

She scoffed and handed him the drink anyway. “Leaving me on my own to fly across the galaxy over a drink? How rude, Nih.” 

He took a sip, then looked at her over the rim of the glass. “It’s a very good drink, Jane.” 

“Whatever,” she retorted, punching him in the arm and laughing. They sat in silence for a moment, watching the others in the room and letting the sounds of music wash over them. Finally, Jane turned to him, her painted face lit up with a smile. “I’m happy for you, Nih… nervous as hell for me, but happy for you.” 

“You’ve got nothing to be nervous about,” Nihlus replied firmly, watching as his mate flitted around the room, greeting people and smiling- he knew he’d have to get back in there soon, but right now, he was just enjoying himself. _I’m with my family_ , he thought, placing a kiss on the top of Jane’s head. _That’s good enough for me_. “I have every confidence in you, Jane.”

“It’s my first mission alone,” she whispered. “I won’t have you, John, or Garrus to back me up out there.” Jane turned to him. “What if I fuck up, Nih?” 

“I just got ‘married’ in front of a room full of humans who hate my species for something that happened years ago,” he said teasingly. “If I can face that down, you can go clean up a few geth stragglers, Jane.” 

“I know,” she said quietly. “It’s just… I dunno,” she shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. “I just feel weird, not having you guys there, I guess.” 

“Missing me already?” Nihlus teased, earning a glare from her. “No wonder John has such an ego- this big brother thing is slightly intoxicating with power.” Jane huffed, but he just rested an arm on her shoulder. “You have this,” Nihlus replied, his voice full of confidence. “You are Commander Jane Alexandra Shepard… and I know you’re going to do amazing out there.” 

“I’ll try,” she replied, patting his hand. “I’m going to make you proud, Nih.”  
  
“You already do,” Nihlus said confidently, looking at the woman who had changed his life and given him more than he’d ever thought possible when he’d nominated her all those months ago. “You’ve made me prouder than I could’ve ever believed possible, Jane.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. Word... it is done! 
> 
> 99 chapters in 99 days... we did it, guys! I would love to thank everyone individually, but my brain is a mess and I can't. So, THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who has left a kudos, a comment, participated in the giveaway, anything! You guys have made 2020 a little brighter for me, and I hope this story did the same for you *sniff*
> 
> We're rolling right into part 3, so subscribe over there if you want updates and to continue with these guys :)


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